spotto: (flutts)
Season six has started off so strongly! I'd rate it something like...
The Crystalling 3/10
Gift of Maud Pie 9/10
On Your Marks 3/10
Gauntlet of Fire 2/10

._.

by this pattern episode six should be good
i mean I hope it will be, geez

Has there been a season that started off as poorly as this one? Hmmmm...nope. I remember enjoying season one's first few episodes more than this. I guess Gift of Maud Pie is keeping everything afloat right now, but I hope this isn't a pattern where my opinion of the episodes being hit and miss begin losing sight of its target entirely. Nothing will come close to the season two's first five episodes of amazingness. The introduction of Discord, a character and expansion of the lore I actually liked, plus he was amusing and entertaining and Q! Lesson Zero AKA Twilight goes batshit insane so we can write out the need for her to be the only one to send letters, which stopped happening altogether eventually anyway. Luna Eclipsed, dealing with an ensemble darkhorse who was only introduced in one episode and doing it well without screwing up or pissing off fans and their headcanons? Making her actually endearing/awkward and interesting? Having one of the funniest scenes in the entire series? Awesome. Sisterhooves Social, Sweetie Belle's first episode and a glimpse into a sibling relationship far more relatable than most, and a twist that I honestly never saw coming. I should have, but I totally didn't. I wish to return to my more naive ways where I couldn't predict and call out what would happen next. Season three's first five episodes had amazing music if nothing else, but I also loved Magic Duel. Season four's first five were alright, with Castle Mane-ia being fairly amusing and Flight to the Finish a strong entry in Scootaloo episodes. Season five had a decent premiere and though the episodes leading up to five were fairly mediocre, Tanks for the Memories was at least a memorable episode.

Season six? A baby, RARIPIE INTERACTION OMFG + bonus Maud, a boring AB episode that isn't any more interesting than the previous DO ANYTHING WE CAN TO FIND A CUTIE MARk episode, and the sequel to Dragon Quest everyone had been asking for.

Well, no not really. I didn't like Dragon Quest. If I wanted to know more about dragons, I didn't want to be force-fed bullying dudebro frat boy stereotypes. We return to this concept and again aside from the Lord all we see are the fucking teenage dragons. WHY? THEY ARE NOT INTERESTING WHATSOEVER. What about the DRAGON dragons that had been so threatening through season one, that had been seen lazing around not involved in the episode in Dragon Quest? WHY NOT THEM? Of all the one-off characters I had been wanting or expecting to see come back, Garble isn't even on the bottom of this list. He's not  even on the list! He's a forgettable bully stereotype with no real impact on he story. His only job then and now was to be the easy antagonist because haha he's a jerk all the schadenfreude to him. 

And then we get...the dragon lord's daughter.

Oh, slap me for even bothering with this episode. She was so predictable. She was basically the inferior dragon version of  Astrid from How to Train Your Dragon. She was also stereotypically tsundere...and just, blah. About the only thing I liked about her was her design in the armour. There was a point someone brought up I found very valid in how the cultures outside of ponies are portrayed. Almost universally, they're all barbarians, miserable, or miserable barbarians. It's like if we ever venture out of Ponyville into a land of another race, our main characters are friendship missionaries saving those too unfortunate to realize the greatness of friendship. The fact that the dialogue didn't really go any deeper than "Dragons don't do friendship" was such a lazy way of showing how much they don't care for it. It should be SHOWN that they aren't much for companionship, not directly addressed as if it were some sort of foreign concept they've never heard of. The way it was done in this episode was written so very poorly. And apparently people say this is one of Spike's best episodes.

Well, I guess they're right because Spike himself was not the problem of the episode. He was fine. Rarity and Twilight however didn't really contribute much besides demonstrating to the dragons that they're friends. On the other hand the plot of this episode was largely Ember's plot of her proving herself to her dad, so it's not as if Spike was even the focus in the first place. The best Spike episodes imo are the ones where he screws up, learns from it, but get this, SAVES THE DAY in the end ala Secret of My Excess or Equestria Games. I can see why some Spike episodes are unpopular because it's usually "Spike screws up and is taught a lesson" and he usually loses some form of dignity over it, but the ones where he saves the day actually rewards him for what he learns, too. That way the Spike episodes aren't just an embarrassing conga line of suckitude. Spike sucks. This is how much he sucks. Behold his suckiness, and how he now realizes he sucks. He has now learned something .The end. Those are the episodes people do not care about.

But yeah anyway Season Six has started off very poorly. I'm a little annoyed we've gone three episodes without seeing some of the Mane Six. They are the main characters, correct? Have they run out of ideas where the story is contained between just the few of them? I mean, I watch this show FOR Main Six interaction, so seeing so little of it lately is disappointing.

At least I got the RariPie interaction I always wanted... only took six seasons huh? We get to see Garble twice but Pinkie and Fluttershy haven't had any meaningful interaction in the series that isn't negative...ah well.

Just another whiny day for me. P:


spotto: (Sooooolo)
HELLO AGAIN MY DARLING

It has been quite some time, has it? Haven't been able to write or post my writings or whatever due to personal problems and general busy-ness with life. Oh and also because I wanted to have more of arc three done before posting arc two. This will probably be posted in a bit slower pace than arc one as I try to get through arc three. You see by the time I posted arc one's final chapter I finished arc two, so I wanna do the same here. Unfortunately arc three is not as complete as arc two was when I began posting arc one. Are you confused yet? P:

I'm still undecided as to whether or not arc four will exist. If it does it'll probably be the shortest and if not, arc three will be awfully long. So there's that. Oh and that excuse is not the entire excuse. Most of my free-time was taken up being obsessed with lemons or marathoning nostalgic (but very good) childhood cartoons, going crazy about the latest iteration of Digimon Tri, so....I was also distracted! Yay.

HERE BEGINS ARC TWO, Chapter 11.

POCKY DAY )
spotto: (Sooooolo)
 I'm gonna start posting ARC TWO soon, but atm I am very distracted by Pokemons.

I ain't gonna explain why. It's pretty obvious if you've seen my Tumblr hahaha, BUT I WILL do this which my computer didn't save because of WINDOWS 10'S STUPID FORCED AUTO-RESTART FOR UPDATES RARGH

Which is....my top favourite Pokemon of EACH type. I was very surprised by some of these, and others might seem like troll picks, but they are my favourites. I swear.

So let us begin!

NORMAL

So many normal types to choose from, SO MANY. From Furret to Cinccino to Jigglypuff, gotta love 'em all. But my absolute favourite must go to...

Zangoose

I use the shiny version because that's the version I REALLY want. I'd love to get this and just name it Weiss. Now you might be wondering why I want a Zangoose to name Weiss and not like a Glaceon or something, well its perpetual angry look and its slicey-diceyness is pretty much the reason why. And although it's meant to be a mongoose it looks more like this grumpy cat (geddit? :X) that I feel fits Weiss nicely. I also just love its design in general. Too bad competitively it isn't that great, but that's okay! TOXIC ORB (to make it even MORE accurate to Weiss) or FLAME ORB (Weiss gets burned all the time! Geddit...I'll stop now) to raise its attack! [Also a self-inflicted buff makes a lot of sense for Weiss in particular]

Runner-up: Furret

FIRE
Same as normal, fire type used to be my favourite type and I loved ALL of the Pokemon in this category, but none can beat the nostalgic fave...

Arcanine

Motherfucking ARCANINE, yo! My absolute favourite back in the day, when I first got into Pokemon I really wanted one. UNFORTUNATELY I had Pokemon Blue instead of Red and never got one initially. I eventually had one in later generations but it's just not the same when you don't get your favourite in your first game. Tons of people love this Pokemon, look at that tiger-dog design! What a gorgeous pseudo-legendary this is. This is also my rarest Pokemon card.

Runner-up: Flareon

FIGHTING
I actually thought this would be a toughie, but when I looked through the fighting types I found I liked very few of them for whatever reason. So, considering I have too many grass-types on this list, I went with the most obvious choice and the greatest starter this series has seen...

Chesnaught

This far-too-large image for the size of the sprite does not do it justice, but contrary to what a CERTAIN SOMEONE THINKS, Chesnaught is fucking adorable. He's got that fuzzy beard, the adorable smile and eyes, and his lanky, awkward build just adds to the appeal! My absolute favourite starter so far, which is surprising considering I used to be a genwunner. I love that it turned white in its final evolution. I really do like the colour white and I'm glad it has some of it all over itself. The paladin description is especially fitting. ALSO, his name, does it not instill TERROR upon your foes? ChesNAUGHT!

Runner-up: Gallade

WATER
My god there are an infinite amount of water types, and I love a ton of 'em, but only one can reign supreme overall. I have said this was my favourite Pokemon above all, and that may still be true...so give it up for...

Azumarill


I'm not entirely sure how it came about that I ended up loving Azumarill the most. I mean, it's a blue Pikachu that can swim. Its got giant bunny ears which aren't nearly as cute as its mousey ears, but combined with its competitive force and HUGE POWER, and its dopeyness, something about Azumarill really rings true with me. I have named two of my friends "Sir" for upholding Azumarill's title, and should anyone else do so with equal or higher ability, they too can earn this prestigious honour!

Runner-up: Blastoise

FLYING
Ha! Flying. Birds. Or maybe not birds? Things that can fly in the air, unless you're Dodrio. Ah what a simple, sometimes underpowered typing. Well, what's my favourite you ask?

Masquerain 

Good lord the white-space on this thing. THIS THING KNOWN AS BEST POKEMON, THAT IS! It has intimidate. ARE YOU NOT SCARED? CAN YOU YOU NOT SEE ITS EYES ON ITS HEAD, those tiny beady black dots, with a smile SO WIDE AND HAPPY, it is LAYERED UNDER THE EYES!? What an amazing creature. Truly none is as unique as the masterful Masquerain, who can only possibly be tamed by the most advanced of trainers. One day this thing will receive a mega like it truly deserves and it will reign over every Pokemon region as its KING.

Runner-up: Landorus

GRASS
Ah, grass used to be my least favourite type way back when I was a genwunner. How times change. I have so many favourite Grass types now, it may be the type with my most preferred Pokemon in it. To think there was a time when I believed these plant-like creatures were lame. What a poor and incorrect opinion it was.

Whimsicott

The shiny version which looks slightly better that I ACTUALLY OWN, omg! Whimsicott is here by virtue of some other fairy Pokemon taking its place, and other grass types I like even better in other spots. (It's truly amazing, I know) BUT EVEN STILL this sheep-like Pokemon is an adorable ball of fluff that will annoy everyone to death with its status attacks. Cry salty tears as this cute fluffy ball of wool laughs at you, my friends. It ain't a black sheep to me, but it probably is one to you. I'm sure you'll want lambchops once its through the battle.

Runner-up: Chikorita

POISON
Poison too is a typing I wasn't too fond of...and I'm still not fond of. Luckily Pokemon can be duo-typed, and with my excess amount of grass types, well...who do you think is going to be here? P:

Roserade

I've utterly forgotten how I fell in love with Roserade. I think it has something to do with Twitch Plays Pokemon, particularly in Platinum. Roserade was the longest-living party member I think, and was the Court of the Sun's QUEEN (Or Empress I forget). I also remember playing Platinum and using randomizer. I chose Budew as my starter, and Poison Point saved my ass against my rival's Porygon in the very beginning. Truly a beautiful and magnificent Pokemon, and one who will always be in my heart in both story and gameplay as well as design.

Runner-up: Bulbasaur

ELECTRIC
Electric may be, perhaps second to grass, my favourite typing. I love so many electric types from Pokemon, and it was almost too difficult to choose the very best, like no one ever was, but I did end up choosing. Who knew it'd be one of the newer ones, eh?

Galvantula


An electric spider. AN ELECTRIC SPIDER. I have a little bit of a love-hate relationship with real spiders. They fascinate me, but I always must force myself to go near them. I usually leave them alone and never kill or squish any, but they still freak me out from time-to-time. Still, taking pictures of them is something of a rare hobby of mine. But Joltik and Galvantula are too adorable to stay away from, plus their excellent speed and wonderful move in STICKY WEB is quite the fight to behold. It was very tough to choose Galvantula over all the others, of which there were many. Luxray is like an electric Arcanine to me, and then there is Electivire, which I absolutely adore. Ampharos my very first Mega Evolution. I CAN'T EVEN CHOOSE A RUNNER-UP HOLY CRAP--oh wait I can, thanks lemon nerd!

Runner-up: Luxray

GROUND
Like Fighting, I expected to be very conflicted with this choice, then realized I did not like as many ground types as previously believed. Ah well, there was an obvious choice in the end anyway, a love from long ago that continues even to this day...

Cubone

Cubone was one of my original very favourite Pokemon, yet I never raised a Marowak. Not until SoulSilver did I start raising a Marowak, and even then I'm pretty sure it wasn't in my final team. The biggest reason is that I much prefer Cubone over Marowak, but trying to use an unevolved Pokemon throughout the game is a bit difficult. I could attempt the next new generation that's out, but Cubone will always be one of my first loves. Its tragic backstory (that also makes no thematic sense) ain't too shabby either.

Runner-up: Sandslash

PSYCHIC
Good lord almighty trying to figure out a favourite Psychic-type was like going through someone else's dumpster. I really don't seem to like a lot of psychic-types, at least to an extent where I can call one my favourite. I mean I love Pokemon like Gardevoir and Espurr, but they just weren't as liked as I thought they'd be to deserve the designation of "favourite". But, if I can go with one particular Pokemon, well, it would probably be...

Mega Slowbro

Here we go with Gen VI's white space again! 8D. Mega Slowbro is hilarious and I need to use it as my main Mega next game. Is it cheating that I chose a mega-evolution? Meh.That is all.

Runner-up: Xatu.

ROCK
Rock, like Psychic, has little to be desired. We can thank the power of DUO-TYPING for an actual selection, however!

Aggron

I own the shiny and thus, the shiny picture. I could have used it for steel too, but I have little to go on for rock so might as well fill up this spot. Ah Aggron, so beastly, so powerful, so mighty. I named it after Keine-sensei, whose headbutting powers are unparalleled. The horns and the red-eyes help too, as does the conveniently green shiny sprite, the biggest reason I spent thousands of years hatching eggs for a shiny. At least, that's what I did to get one, anyway. Why else would I have a billion Arons in my boxes?? It's like a samurai bone dino. What's not to love!?

Runner-up: Carbink

ICE

Hahahahahahahahaa ice. Fun fact: when I went through the ice-types I did not consider any one of them to be near my top list of favourite Pokemon. And to think I thought ice was a cool type with tons of great Pokemon. I guess it's only the attacks that are decent. Actual ice-types are...well, yeah.

Glaceon

Okay Glaceon isn't even my favourite Eeveelution. It isn't even my second favourite, or even my third. I don't even think it's my fourth. This is how absurd the ice-types are. There aren't that many and I don't like a lot of them, but Glaceon is cute and useful nonetheless. Well, the useful is subjective, considering when I used one it was simply an Ice Beam machine. WHY IS YOUR MOVEPOOL SO SHITTY?!?!?! I do think its shiny form looks better and should I ever use one again, I'd try to get a shiny Eevee, though whether or not that's worth the effort for a Pokemon so shallow...that remains to be seen.

Runner-up: Mamoswine

BUG

I always thought I hated most bug-types and that they were weak and pointless, but that is a genwunner opinion, and was actually true in generation one. Bugs were so under-utilized and underpowered back then. Their evolutions came quick and their stats dwindled over-time, but unlike ice I ended up finding many bug types I really liked, so it was a bit tough to choose the best.

Scyther


While I do like Scizor, I really didn't like how it was not only the complete opposite colour, but looked so drastically different from its unevolved form, Scyther. This thing looks like a preying mantis reptile thing with cool slicey forearms, and then it becomes a lobster. That's rather disappointing. Its mega-evolution form looked even worse, so I guess my original elitist genwunner opinion trumps all in this case, and I wish they buffed Scyther instead of adding an evolution that didn't look anything like its original.

Runner-up: Swadloon

DRAGON
Ah yes the fearsome and ever popular dragon-type, always to be feared and revered. The champion often owns a dragon-type (well okay like two/three of 'em, but you get the point) and well, who doesn't love dragons? Because I love dragons too. WHICH ARE MY FAVOURITE, you ask?

Flygon

Just like how Yanmega should have been dragon/bug, being a dragonfly, I always wanted this thing to also be dragon/bug. It looks like a bug, does it not? Its big giant buggy eyes and bug-like wings? No? I never understood why it'd be ground/dragon. Don't we already have Garchomp? Okay so Garchomp came after (and inexplicably looks like a shark despite having nothing to do with water) but I dunno. We need to have a bug/dragon type at some point. It really looks like a cool-typing. I also completely forgot why I liked Flygon because I know I never did for the longest time and suddenly...it is here. Ah well!

Runner-up: Goomy

GHOST
Ah so many wonderful lovely ghost-types. I like quite a lot of them, but just like with fire and bug type, I will have to revert to my initial genwunning stage, of nostalgia and a longing of the past. In fact it's such a longing of the past I'm not even going to use one of the more modern sprites!

Gengar


Pokemon Yellow Gengar looks sweet, yo. It's such a simple yet effective design, and as much as other ghost-types come close I can never choose any other over it. Plus its shiny mega-evolution looks completely badass. Its power and dominance of the competitive stage is great also. One can never underestimate its speed and special attack. There is no one who hates Gengar. There are only those who love it, and chronic liars. Bow to your tyrant, peasants.

Runner-up: Chandelure

DARK
Sometimes dark-type is teh edge, and sometimes it's ghost. As much as I love to harp onto anything that attempts to be cool and looks like they try far too hard at doing so (use the red-black colour scheme one more time and so help me god...) but that doesn't mean it's a bad typing and I cannot have a favourite! In fact, I have many, but none beats...

Hydreigon

I could have chosen Bisharp or Absol, or Umbreon or Tyranitar or Houndour or Sableye or Scrafty or Pangoro or Cacturne or Crawdaunt. I could've, but we're going with the three-headed dark dragon. Y'know why? This is my competitive MVP. A lot of people underestimate it for whatever reason, when its ridiculous movepool and amazing special attack just ruins everything. It's so versatile, and it's so EDMENDDUKE, that there is no way I could choose any other dark-type over it. I'm sure writing out this blurb ruins most of my strategy in playing competitive (which is CHOOSE HYDREIGON OR TERRAKION and hope for the best) but y'know...eh. It needs its spotlight despite the spoilers. P:

Runner-up: Inkay

STEEL

Steel is a badass typing. I daresay the most badass of them all. Yes, even above dragon and dark and fire. I mean, STEEL. None can break you! STEEL. Just saying steel sounds so satisfying. STEEL. Steel yo. Donut Steel. The steeliest of them all. What is sleek, what is shiny, what cannot be harmed? What is the immovable object to the unstoppable force? Well...

Cobalion

It was actually quite tough to choose not because I liked many steel types, but liked few. There were some that looked very cool and were used in many-a-competitive battle, but I went with Cobalion in the end. It looks so regal and fierce. I always loved its proud design. It's definitely my favourite of its legendary trio. I do not know what else to say.

Runner-up: Klinklang

FAIRY
And finally the newest type of all! I like many fairy-types as you could have already told from the various fairy-types shared with others that show up on this list, but man are they ridiculously powerful. These cute little pink creatures utterly annihilating the behemoth that was the dragon-type. You'd think it might be something like steel instead, symbolizing the knight gone off to slay a dragon, but nope, little pixie dust things. Fear the fairies, for they will not fear you. 

Jigglypuff

Fear the fairy. Ah yes, one of my most nostalgic Pokemon of all. I used to identify myself as a Super Saiyan Jigglypuff. It was also my Smash main, and I just for whatever reason really liked this pink balloon thing. I think nowadays the feeling is waning, but I gave nostalgia one last pick, seeing as it was such a large part of me when I grew up. I really loved the Anime Jigglypuff that sang people to sleep and then drew on everyone with its marker. Of any previous character I wish to return, Jigglypuff is the one I want to see the most.

Runner-up: Dedenne

-

And that is all! I can count up the total of each type, considering there are many duo-types to perhaps determine my favourite, though this would be a rather flawed way of doing so. The most common types were grass, bug, and fairy, which I found rather surprising since I consider electric and dark to be my favourite types. (I only threw in dark because when I listed all those dark types up there I realized I liked TONS of dark types, huh) As for which generation is the most popular, well...generation one and surprisingly generation three (the one I hated the most as a genwunner) each have five pokemon, with generation five coming second having three pokemon. Generation two is last with only one, Azumarill. As much as I loved generation two it is becoming clearer and clearer that my least favourite Pokemon may very well have come from that generation, which is quite interesting actually. It's funny how opinion changes over-time.

And that is all. This was just a Pokemon study, pretty much. P: 
spotto: (Sooooolo)
AND THE END OF THIS STORY DRAWS NEAR--
Well, arc.

This story is LONG from over. Got at least 120K words more than his, and hopefully beyond that. I'm still in the midst of finishing up arc two myself, but once that's done I'll probably start posting it too. Since this is the end of an arc I'll have some post-fic notes down below.

Also this is stupidly long, so I hope Dreamwidth actually lets me post this. ._.

Great googly moogly )


NIEN

Feb. 8th, 2016 12:59 am
spotto: (flutts)
I'm so full.
And bleh. 
How about that latest RWBY episode eh? Egads.

OH YEAH CHAPTER NINE HA HA
I hope all one of you enjoyed chapter eight!
Here we go!

straight to the point yo )
spotto: (Q_Q)
Eight is a very lucky number in a certain culture.

Not quite for this particular character unfortunately. I consider this chapter the chapter OF NO RETURN or "EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT X BUT WERE TOO AFRAID TO ASK" or "hello darkness my old friend" or "shit happens"

basically, from this point on we be going into overdrive!

fun fact, I did not plan a majority of this chapter yet it ends up influencing basically the rest of the story (that's right, story, not just the arc) so yeah... also this is a VERY LONG chapter, as will 9 and especially 10
10 is the last chapter of this arc, so yeah. I will not be posting arc 2 until I finish arc 2, whenever that may be. I am currently on chapter nineteen though, so it might not be too long. (Arc 2 will be more than ten chapters unlike 1 tho, so there's that)
BUT ENOUGH RANDOM STUFF, LET ME FLING THIS BONE AT YOU

FORMATTING, WHAT IS THIS MADNESS )

mutton

Jan. 20th, 2016 09:56 pm
spotto: (flutts)
is mutton really the only word that rhymes with button? surely there is something else
like
uh
hm.

well here's chapter seven
ALSO KNOWN AS, that chapter with SHINY NEW CHARACTERS WHAT

flutton )

ya

Jan. 10th, 2016 07:37 pm
spotto: (Stage One.)
this is chapter 6 of my story

the goat, the sheep, and the lamster

i hope you like it
chapter 6 )

baaaaaa

Dec. 31st, 2015 06:04 pm
spotto: (@_@)
Wow I really need to stop ending chapters with a character falling asleep. It's so cliché.

SPOILERS: THIS CHAPTER ENDS WITH A CHARACTER FALLING ASLEEP OMFGGG RUINED FOREVAAA!!11!!1!

EXTRA SPOILERS DON'T LOOK: the chapter after this one DOESN'T end with a character falling asleep.

actual spoilers: I do not know how drugs work. If you do, please kindly share how wrong this chapter is.

the last spoiler I swear: Congrats! After this chapter you are halfway through the first arc! Technically. (I mean, every chapter after this is going to be longer and longer so probably not)

in which ALL of the things happen )

LAMBCHOP

Dec. 26th, 2015 04:53 pm
spotto: (arisu margtrod)
After much consideration I've decided to nickname this story "Lambchop."
The obsession with woolly hooved animals + their meat has an explanation I swear. (A DUMB explanation, but an explanation nonetheless)

The Goat, the Sheep, and the Lamster 

spotto: (koi)
The Goat, the Sheep, and the Lamster
also known as TGtSatL
what a horrible acronym
...also known as the Lamster story
chap 3
spotto: (hong kong *STAAAAAARE*)

look it's chapter two

The Goat, the Sheep, and the Lamster

doom )
spotto: (Q_Q)
I DON'T CARE ANYMORE
remember that story i keep mentioning to everyone and have been for like a year and was like 'yay i wrote 100K words!' but showed no one!?

BECAUSE I WAS TOO ANXIOUS TO EVER POST IT? BECAUSE I HAD WRITTEN WITH THIS SORT OF PREMISE KINDA BEFORE AND I WAS WORRIED PEOPLE WOULD BE LIKE "SPOTTO WHY YOU OBSESSED WITH WRITING ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK CROSSOVERS!?" WELL I WILL TELL YOU ONE THING. AND THAT THING IS THAT I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT SHOW.

Also several months ago I linked it to one person but as far as I know they've never read it, probably because I sent all 181 pages of the first arc to them at once. Perhaps that was too overwhelming.

SO, BECAUSE I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE, here's chapter one of the cheesiest title ever (but I still spent weeks figuring it out)

The Goat, the Sheep, and the Lamster.
 please cut this story properly ffs )
I swear to god this is very different from my Negima story which was also in a similar setting.

spotto: (koi)
 I remember many years ago I had said something very foolish.

"I don't ship in MLP."

WELL, THAT CHANGED.

It changed quite quickly actually. My OTP became PinkieShy. And then I said:

"I only ship PinkieShy."

That ALSO CHANGED.

In fact, between that time and now I had actually tested a few ships to see if I'd like them, like forcing myself to read TwiDash and RariJack fics and hoping I'd like them. I liked the person's writing and the concept and all that jazz, but never really found myself growing to like the pair itself. I thought I would only really ever care for PinkieShy which was A-OK. Then...the harem emerged.

Harem, you say? Well, these are the MLP ships I have now...

"PinkieShy (OTP), TwiJack, RariDash, Rarilight, RariPie, Rarijack (sorta), Sunlight (so long as it's FG!Twilight), LyraBon."

Look at them Rarity ships. About the only pony I don't ship her with is Fluttershy. 

I also said this quote that too is very untrue now.

"I am not a RWBY shipper."

And lo and behold, my opinion is as follows...

"CHECKMATING, MOFOS!!! FREEZERBURN (which should really be called Wang Schlong because I am a mature and sophisticated adult) WHITE ROSE! WEISS WITH EVERYONE EXCEPT MALES!!! BICYCLE BICYCLE BICYCLE!! LADYBUG IS COOL TOO!!!"

Heck, there was also a time in my days as an early Touhou fan where I only liked some characters and cared not for any romantic subtext! Why, it's a bullet hell shooter! The dialogue is barely there and what there is of has no hints to any romance whatsoever!

And now I have these ships:

"KENEMOKO!! YEAH!! HijiriMiko is the best hate!ship and anyone who says otherwise is WRONG. AyaSanae, my official rarepair love."

So yes, no matter how low of an opinion you have of these obnoxious people who put fictional characters together, I AM ONE OF THEM. It is a sad reality that goes way back to when I was but a mere teenager. And also there will never be het. Het is for silly mainstream people with no creativity. And also also, they shall all be girls. Girls will reign over all. What do you mean I'm currently in love with the incredibly manly and beautifully bara (that does not imply I ship him with other manly people. No one else in RWBY is MAN enough to be worth Sage) Sage? I do not ship him with anyone. His love is his very boring sword that doesn't transform into anything. 

Speaking of MEN. Everyone in RWBY is unmanly with the sole exception of Sage. There's the boys and the old guys, but none of them are manly. They desperately try to force down our throats that this character named Qrow is supposedly manly, but for me they have failed spectacularly. He has this voice that is trying too hard to be manly by having Qrow speak in this way 100% of the time like he does it on purpose as if he were Christopher Nolan's Batman. It makes him sound far more lame than natural. He also has a stubble which is also trying too hard to be manly because you see, this stubble is not consistent. If he were to have a stubble, he should also have manly chest hair to match. But for whatever reason Qrow has chosen to either shave his chest hair or not show it whatsoever, nullifying what manliness he could've contained. He's also constantly drunk and manipulative, while upholding his ego among his juniors who are practically children. He is also outwardly perverted around these same children who happen to be female. That is not manly at all. It is truly a disappointment in the MAN department.

Sage meanwhile has no stubble and no chest hair, but still manages to be manly. He is a man of few words, which adds to his air of manliness. Unfortunately his team is not very manly. Scarlet comes close, but sadly he is a boy to be laughed at as if he were man being hit by football. Sun is almost manly, but he is far too goofy and talkative to be manly. I give him manly points for being very respectful of Blake when she was having problems during volume two and had no time to attend a silly dance with him, and so he is the closest to the paragon of manliness that is Sage. Neptune is the opposite of manliness. He is very vocal about his love of females and is a jokeworthy character beyond that of Scarlet. Port, who is too much of a funny geezer old man to be manly, has mentioned that team SSSN is a manly team, but he must only be referring to Sage alone, which makes sense as Sage alone can mistaken people to believe the rest of his team is also manly.

Despite Sage's supreme manhood, he is not the manliest character. That honour goes to Yang and Yang alone. Neo rivals her.

As for the old men, several of them are far too cryptic to be manly, including Ozpin and Cinder. Ren is quite manly, but he has not reinforced his manliness very often, having a low presence though I believe he prefers to be subtle. Nora is very manly, and would win the man awards if not for Yang and Neo.

......oh, where was I?

AH YES SHIPPING.

I like shipping. I will readily admit that. What the fuck am I typing here anyway. This is why I should not down Monster energy drinks. I think my other point here is to point out what a shipping hipster I am. Not that I ship popular things before they become popular, but rather I always ship the alternate ships. NEVER THE MAIN SHIPS. DOWN WITH MAINSTREAM!!! Bumblebee? Nope. Rainbow Dash with anypony other than Rarity? Never. A ship with the main characters of Touhou? WHAT ARE THOSE!? I spit into the majority's tastes! HA!

I also grow melancholy about my rare!pair ships, mostly PinkieShy and AyaSanae but especially PinkieShy. Once upon a time Pinkie respected Fluttershy for the sensitive timid pony she was, and next thing I knew they were tearing down each other's feelings and bringing each other to tears. When canon changes so subtly from Fluttershy glomping Pinkie over to being the most opposite and incompatible of friends, my hopes fade. One day pony will air a PinkieShy episode and I will rejoice. Of course, this may be a hopeless cause, just like that one time when Negima was supposed to have a Sayo backstory chapter due to the inevitable Negi pactio and then ending before that could ever have the opportunity to arise. It was even foreshadowed! Much salt was spilled.

 Let's ask a question! I say as I continue this incredibly disjointed blog post! Do I have a typing and if so why is it not inherently obvious like "the happy one" or the "misunderstood" one?

You see, my current fandoms are pony and RWBY and my favourite characters are stark opposites. There is Pinkie, the perpetually happy glee-bringer of Equestria. Then there is Weiss, hated by many for starting off as unpleasant and bossy. Well the answer is quite simple you see. When I first decided to watch MLP, which is already a difficult obstacle to overcome because if you know me I avoid starting off TV shows and cartoons as if they are the plague, it was because it was a time of sadness. Being a long-time fan of hockey and putting so much passion and hope into my Canucks winning their very first championship in their forty-year history, having all that crash and crumble all because of a single lost game that had it been won, would've led to the ultimate goal, truly destroyed me. I avoided all sports media for months and needed a pick-me up. Ponies were there. They were everywhere actually, in the year of 2011. I knew it was at the very least, a happy series. And so in that show I looked for anything to make me laugh, to cheer me up. There a character existed whose whole purpose was to raise your dimples and make your day. Her name is Pinkie Pie. She was exactly what I needed at the time and thus, will forever be my favourite for truly making me smile.

Meanwhile I first saw RWBY as trailers made by an awesome dude who animated this other series called Dead Fantasy. My expectations were only of "cool awesome action to entertain myself with" and then a trailer that colour-coded itself as White came along and blew away all my expectations. These lyrics imply a STORY, with this CHARACTER who is lonely, sad, lost, and aimless. She wears beautiful white, which contrasts so wonderfully with red like the shades of blood. Her fighting style was so elegant and deadly, and yet when I peered into her eyes I only saw an individual who might have been emotionally fragile. One who seeked kindness and happiness that a childhood should bring, which it felt she never had. Then she said her first lines in the show as she was the only one of the four to never say a word in any of the trailers, and I realized she wasn't merely just a poor little princess who needed friends...she was a poor little princess who needed friends with a HUGE AMOUNT OF PRIDE and a wall that blocked all that may make her feel vulnerable. She wasn't just a pretty little sympathy trophy...she was a CHARACTER.

I love these two characters for completely different reasons and that's great! 8D

Then there's Touhou, but that's filled with so much headcanon that I really have no clue how to explain why I like any character. For instance, Keine. To most Keine just serves the role as a teacher character, kind of like the many teachers in Beacon or Cheerilee, the teacher of the CMC. But yet, I saw unlocked potential in what backstory she could possibly have, as it wasn't explored very much, yet there was so much to explore. She was at the time the only hybrid human/youkai character in the game, in which her youkai form had an identity. (Meanwhile Rinnosuke, being also a half-human was only a "generic" youkai so speculation was lost) Her ability was also one of wonder. How broken could it possibly be? She can alter history itself? She can erase history? What does that MEAN? Why is this so vague, like with every other aspect of Touhou's lore!? And finally, she is Mokou's only friend. She even came to defend Mokou from the protagonists despite Mokou being eternal and immortal, thus never being in danger whatsoever. Yet Keine cared enough to make sure she didn't get hurt. That's just ripe shipping potential. Plus in a world filled with amoral orange and blue morality jerkasses, Keine's kind of a breath of fresh air. Even if in canon she's an incredibly dull teacher. P:

Miko is just a glorious arrogant ham with the best cape and hairstyle ever. The only real saint to me. ;) I think of her as a less angry and more accomplished Vegeta. (Byakuren is Goku. I will never let that crossover go. [fyi Shou is Gohan, Nazrin is Piccolo and Futo is Nappa. 8DDDDD) The Buddhists and Taoists are just the Gensokyo version of DBZ to me hahahaha.

i'm gonna abruptly end this rant because i had no clue what was i doing starting it anyway so.... bye

HAMSTERS.

Oct. 25th, 2015 11:02 pm
spotto: (Sooooolo)
 Ya know what I hate? What I really really really hate? Something I'm about to rant about through all my unbridled rage?

Whenever cute cuddly little animals are featured on some mass social media site like say Reddit for instance (but they are by far not the only offenders and obviously it's not every single user ever that has this same opinion) people tend to react first foremost to how cute and cuddly they are, and then depending on how educated they are about the animal, comment on the animal's demeanour and how good they are as a pet.

Oh wait no they don't.

They squee at the cuteness and then destroy the reputation of said animal via their own misguided experience. Oh that's right. I'm talking about hamsters, folks. Every single goddamn time a hamster rises up to the front page, there's someone proclaiming that they are nasty, vicious, sociopathic animals that bite all the time, eat their young, and are basically the spawn of satan. They are horrid animals not to be trifled with. Then many others agree and the cycle continues. People begin associating an animal with certain flaws and despite how little they deserve such treatment, they are now infamous for whatever it is they do.

Let me start by saying nature is by default, vicious. It does not give one little fuck about whether or not something an animal does is cute or friendly. Animals need to survive and they have all found their own little ways of surviving. A lot of the time the result isn't pretty. For hamsters, it's when they judge the chances of their young surviving the next few days. How much food have they stored? Is the weather decent? Are predators constantly about? If this risk is far too high, they cull the weakest of their lot. The sustenance they obtain from the weakest make them stronger and give them a better chance of raising the survivors. The littlest ones too brittle to withstand the next storm are spared from drowning. That's just how life is for the little critters.

So now they are pets. They haven't been pets for many generations. The Syrians, the largest kinds, have been the longest but not even for a full century have these hamsters been tamed. The dwarf kinds are even more recent than that. They will still retain a lot of their instincts from the wild, including the culling of their young. Humans are foreign, strange beasts to them with an unknown, threatening scent. If they had even the slightest hint of those humans on their young, they would cull them in an instant. There was no way they could survive what attack those large hairless giants had. Or perhaps they are okay with their human owner. They've been handled for a while and trust the food the human provides them from their fingers, but maybe that food isn't enough. They know they themselves will give birth to the young soon, but the proportion of their food has been the same as always. The human is often inexperienced and has no way of telling if their little critter might have babies, especially if they've misidentified the hamster's gender or the pet store did. Suddenly the little pups are here, but with what food they are able to consume, it isn't enough to keep all of their little young alive. They don't realize the human would probably up their food content, so they cull the babies or at least some of them.

Or maybe they DO have enough food, but they live in a tiny, tiny environment. The exercise machine touches the walls and takes up most of their flat, and they cannot possibly see how they could share this small bachelor pad with five or six more rugrats running around. They do not know what the world is like outside this small room, so they cannot possibly realize the strange human may relocate the babies when they are old enough and thus, they cull. Whatever reason a hamster has to eat their young, it is always an instinctual reason. They were not given such survival methods because Satan or God thought it was humorous to see the humans gawk in horror at their cute little pet committing the grave sin of cannibalism. They were given such methods because that was the only way to ensure the safety of their strongest young, who may end up growing up to mate with the next generation and pass their mighty genes along.

As for the biting, well what the hell would you do if a massive thing stretched out their colossal claw above your head? A smart person would take such a dangerous movement to be life-threatening at first. There was no way to tell this massive thing was friendly, and if you guess wrong you'd be flat as a pancake with no second chance at changing your mind. Obviously a little frightened hamster would squeak, hiss, run, hide, and especially bite as a means of defence. Hamsters are prey. Their ancestors had their lives cut short endlessly due to so many factors that it only makes sense these reflexes and reactions originate deep in their DNA.

And no, I would not say hamsters are the most rewarding pet to own. They are not dogs that will run to your doorstep, eager to greet you inside. They are not cats who act as lazy, independent pompous creatures that remind their owner so much of themselves. They aren't even rats, who each have their own unique friendly personality and are dependent on a second rat companion for the full richness of their lives. But they are hamsters. They're cute, cuddly, and they're not difficult to tame. I cannot stress that enough. Of my thirteen hamsters I've owned, only three were not tamed. One was a dwarf hamster who sadly lived the shortest of the bunch and the other two were roborovski hamsters that I mostly viewed as opposed to held, as most robos tend to be kept. (One day I'll handle a robo hamster consistently...) The other ten were tamed. Most of them were fine being held the moment I got them because of how young they were, but the best story I have is of my current hamster, Esper.

Esper was a biter when I got him at first. He didn't look very young in the tank when I saw him. He wasn't a juvenile, but he also wasn't fully grown as he grew larger under my care after a few months. So it's safe to say Esper had been in that pet store for a while. I had asked the store lady if I could handle the hamsters, but she gave an excuse that they sleep in the afternoon and so it'd be better to come in the morning. While that is mostly true, the fact that a pet store clerk would not let you handle a pet to see what their temperament is like is a bad sign. It usually means the hamsters aren't handled regularly and aren't tamed, so they may bite. And well, if a potential customer is bitten they can't sell their hamsters, now can they?

Regardless of that red flag, I brought home Esper anyway. I decided to let him get to know me right away by letting him into my hand and then right after putting him in his cage. He bit. I left him alone in the cage for a week or so before I began the taming process. This process is one often recommended and there are numerous guides, whether written guides, video guides or the like, but there are many on the internet. There's stuff like spending time with the hamster in the same enclosed playpen, usually a bathtub. The best tip I used was wearing gloves. The hamster could bite all they want and realize it does absolutely nothing unless they like tasting leather constantly, which cannot be pleasant. I eventually was able to handle Esper with my bare hands after a couple of weeks, but he wasn't fully tame. For one thing, he confused a tendon in my wrist as something to chew at first, and that bled pretty profusely. A few days later he was eating a wet mealworm off my hand, and assumed the juices left on my palm were more of the mealworm, and nibbled on that.... yet more blood. But after putting on a band-aid and continually handling him for thirty-minutes each and every day, he finally associated my hand and my body as me, and never bit ever again. Even if my hand smelled like food, he knew it was me and never bit. Even if I enclosed him in both hands like a trap or whatever, he was never afraid. He didn't try to claw his way out. He knew it was me. He became incredibly familiar with me. I cannot tell you how wonderful it feels to bond with a hamster properly. Though it takes work, it feels so much better than just being able to hold a hamster right away. 

I earned Esper's trust. He trusts me. I trust him. It has gotten to the point that Esper would relax on my hands, or sit quietly on the couch with me without running all over the place or whatever because he knows I'm there and that he's safe. He is eager to see me, like a dog, whenever I walk by the cage. It's probably because I might give him food, but sometimes it's because he wants to come out. He actually wants to spend time with me. He even licks me as he grooms sometimes. I partially think because he doesn't care since he's also grooming himself that his tongue might land on my hand, but then he just licks my hand without bothering to clean himself sometimes. The level of closeness I feel with Esper is awesome. I've never had such a level like this before. My other tamed hamsters could be handled, but they would never relax in my arms or lick me affectionately. I also never attempt to handle Esper when he's actually in the cage, so I respect the territory he has and that is probably another reason he is so relaxed and friendly towards me.

It's truly a special relationship. That's what having a hamster is like. I've never had a dog or a cat before and I'd love to have them, but for what I have right now, it feels pretty sweet. People who blame their pets for their pets' problems are not the type of people who can understand these animals and probably do not deserve to own them in the first place. For whatever reason it gets increasingly more difficult to understand this the lower the intelligence level you go for hamsters. I will be the first to say hamsters are pretty dumb, but they're not like goldfish you can only admire from afar. They can be held. They can be pet. They can be cuddled. And I know for sure, if you've earned their trust, they like you too. Such a thing with an animal that hasn't been bred to act a certain way for hundreds of thousands of years is pretty special indeed.
spotto: (@_@)
The second half of pony season five has been going on full swing! I have surprisingly generally liked it. The most recent episode has been the type of episode I'd been eagerly anticipating for quite a while now, Pinkie's FAMILY! Not just her sister who came out of nowhere Maud, but her entire immediate family. Unfortunately I cannot say this was one of my favourites of the second half of the season despite the content of the episode being something I found interesting due to some weird and stilted writing or character-decisions here and there. My favourite Pinkie-based episode is still "The One Where Pinkie Knows" which was the last episode and that had a fairly light premise that'd be hard to stretch into twenty-two minutes, yet they managed it with the excellent comedy. Though I can safely say it comes in second, though not by too much. Including Pinkie's map episode with Rainbow, this is Pinkie's fourth episode this season, though again you can say she shares it with AJ like her map is shared with Rainbow, but that's still more than RD herself, Rarity, AJ, and especially Twilight (one episode so far) and Fluttershy (zero!). Though thanks to the goddamn leak I know next episode is a Fluttershy one. (Is the Discord episode considered a Fluttershy episode? Since we only have six episodes left and the finale is always a two-parter it probably is.)

Anyway, I digress because I do want to discuss Pinkie's family. Waaay back in season one when I first watched Cutie Mark Chronicles by far the most unexpected Cutie Mark story was Pinkie's because her origin not only came out of nowhere but has seemingly no real influence on Pinkie herself. When you look at this super hyper pink rocket of happiness you don't immediately think of the word "Amish." We don't really get another glimpse at Pinkie's family until Maud's sudden appearance in season four, and she seems to have carried on the Pie family tradiiton of being very involved with the topic of rocks, a tradition only Pinkie has broken. A few people were disappointed by that episode because they were expecting the introduction of Pinkie's sisters who had appeared during Cutie Mark Chronicles instead of a whole other sister, but then Maud turned out to be a fan-favourite and we get an episode about whole family a season later! It's win-win!

As for this episode, well...it was apparently written by the writer who did Party Pooped which was not an episode I was especially fond of. Like I've mentioned before even though Pinkie is my favourite pony she's also very hit-or-miss for me. When she hits, she hits hard and I declare her best pony of all the land, but when she doesn't everything falls flat. You see when I was younger I was very much involved in that whole cringeworthy internet phase where I would say the word cheese or spoon or whatever and find random humour hilarious. I despised that phase. Whenever Pinkie falls anywhere close to that type of so-called "humour" I simply gawk like a shocked bystander instead of enjoying the episode like one is meant to. This is why after I finish an episode I always pay attention to whoever wrote it afterwards if it's a Pinkie episode. Just to see if they happen to write Pinkie again if she'd be the same flavour from before. Certain writers get Pinkie down pat and those are the ones I wish Hasbro would employ for however long the series lasts. It's a gamble usually because writers who have favourite characters they like to write tend to get the episode with that character and sometimes that's not a good thing, personally, if I don't like their Pinkie brand of humour.

But to each their own as Twilight said this episode. Pinkie wasn't too bad anyway, not at her worst. But whenever she isn't at her best it's always a disappointment to me. The episode involved a lot of callbacks and while continuity is good, basing your comedy on callbacks is always a risk to take. If it's the exact same joke as before it's not really that entertaining as we've seen it before, but if it's your own original take on something that happened before, it's downright hilarious. Unfortunately too much of the former happened instead of the latter. Pinkie's multiple limbs on-screen happened again for instance, but aside from adding more limbs there wasn't much of  a twist or change to the gag, it was simply repeated straight. Applejack was bewildered unlike last time when no one reacted but her reaction was rather subtle and easy to miss, especially since most of it was in the background, so it didn't have much of an impact. Same with Maud's "singing" at the end of the episode. I was hoping she's just sing deadpan instead of calling her reading out a poem as "singing". It was simply a repeated gag from Maud's original episode.

Applejack explaining why Hearthswarming existed was just an entirely wasted scene when you could've used that screentime to develop more of the large cast of the episode. The first Christmas-themed episode had an entire play based on the tradition, so the audience already knows why it exists, and Apple Bloom was there watching too! I hardly think Apple Bloom would forget considering her sister was part of the play as well. They typically don't fall out of your memory. If it was exposition meant for the little kids in case they forgot...well that's a pretty poor reason. Little kids would just associate the Christmas-clone holiday as...Christmas, so it's not a big deal if they know the origins or not. (And if they follow the show, again the episode for that already exists!) The gags where Pinkie and AJ repeat the same things or AB/Pinkie eat very messily (or take a bite out of the exposition prop) felt like a very juvenile, typical little kids show gag and I have come expect better from the show than that. I also find AJ repeating everything Pinkie says rather out-of-character. There has yet to be a build-up to AJ picking up Pinkie's quirks. She just suddenly started doing it. It'd have been more believable if it wasn't quite as long (like the second time they did it) or if they had more of a reason to repeat the exact same things (again, like the second time they did it) so there was that.

But of course, the biggest reason anyone would be excited for this episode is PINKIE'S FAMILY! Here are some shockers.

1) Pinkie is not the youngest, like I had predicted.
2) Maud is NOT THE OLDEST, like I had predicted.
3) There are indeed twins in the family, but it's not between the two-until-now-just-introduced-sisters-who-had-somewhat-similar-colour-schemes, but of PINKIE and MARBLE.
4) Limestone is the oldest, though she looks shorter/younger than Maud. (It's those eyes!)
5) The oldest is at first not your typical "nurturing motherly wise eldest sibling who takes care of the rest" but rather aggressive and angry. She is however in charge of the farm, so she must still be the one who takes care of everything, just with not the personality you'd expect.
6) Marble is Fluttershy.

I don't think their parents are quite that old that Limestone should be the one calling all the shots (you'd think it'd be the father or something) but she must have that domineering bold personality that allows her to take charge anyway. Perhaps her parents are in the "retired" territory. ...people retire on farms right? That doesn't actually sound correct to me. The stereotype is that farmers are poor and farmers retiring doesn't make sense as they always need to work to make a means. This is why poor farming families have lots of children, like the Pie family, so there are more hooves to work. I guess Granny Smith doesn't work on the farm anymore and Applejack calls of a lot of the shots but Granny Smith actually looks old enough that she probably shouldn't have those jobs anyway. She may be somewhat forgetful and obviously doesn't have the strength, but physically I do not see that coming from the Pie parents. Ah well. Mayhaps a lifetime of hard labour has forced them to pass the responsibility of the farm to their eldest daughter sooner rather than later. Who knows.

Speaking of the parents, they spoke more Ye Olde English than I expected. I don't even know how Amish people speak, but I don't think it'd be jargon from the Middle Ages? I dunno. The fact that they essentially met due to an arranged marriage makes sense, aside from the choosing stone thing, but if they work on a rock farm...

This episode was basically Apple Family Reunion + Pinkie Apple Pie + Maud Pie + Christmas put together. I did like Pinkie Apple Pie and Maud Pie better though. Anyway it was a sweet story. Maud was on point as per usual. I liked Limestone. Marble was basically what happens if Big Mac and Fluttershy had a kid that was somehow mixed with Pie genes...uh, but the fandom seems to be super-shipping those two. (It was cute, but ehhhhh not fond of the "THEY'RE BOTH EXACTLY THE SAME THEY MUST BE IN LOVE!!" type of shipping.)  How Pinkie interacted with her sisters is quite interesting as well. She seems to really look up and respect Maud (which is why I thought Maud was the oldest) while she sort of scoffs at Limestone like what two quarreling "love-to-hate hate-to-love" type of sisters would be like, and then she seems to be super protective of her little Fluttershy twin which might explain why Pinkie likes to call herself Auntie Pinkie Pie around Fluttershy when Fluttershy is older than her, pft. So it's like Pinkie shows off every stereotypical sibling trope with each of her sisters! It's awesome! 

I guess another reason I thought of Pinkie being youngest and Maud being oldest (aside from Maud not being there in the flashback, thus I assumed she had left for boarding school for rocks or whatever and she was the one old enough to leave) is because Limestone reminded me a bit of Buttercup. That one scene when she has that evil grin towards Applejack attempting to drink her rock soup especially. That aggressive personality feels like the stereotypical bratty middle child who acts like so for attention as they tend to be the unfavourite, but hey, plus scores for avoiding the normal stereotypes! It makes everything all the more interesting I say! After all, Applejack is the middle child and she is DEFINITELY not the unfavourite in her family, hahaha. (That Big Mac episode is still most emotional episode ever. I don't care how much Pinkie and AJ cried this episode. That one scene in Brotherhooves Social was so poignant!) Speaking of which I did find Pinkie and AJ crying a bit too easily, especially when AJ "cries on the inside" and Pinkie has demonstrated her stepford smiling so heavily before. I think they would cry in this episode yes, but Pinkie did it twice and AJ cried pretty openly (in that cave, sure, but still she ran away to cry. That's not something I expected from AJ...but WHAT IF SHE ACTUALLY DOES THAT!? That's some pretty heavy implications. Everyone thinks AJ cries on the inside, but really she never wants to show any "weak" emotions to others being the one responsible of the family and all, so when she can't take it she runs away to cry. Aw that's sad. D: ) 

I need to bring up the twin thing again. When spoilers came out about Fluttershy having a brother, I was wondering if he should be older or younger or what have you. I thought about possibilities that'd make the relationship more unique. Since aside from RD, Fluttershy having a sibling means there are no only children in the cast. (RD is honourary big sis of Scootaloo now too, so it's almost like there are NO only children) and with a cast of six you'd hope at least one would be an only child and I thought Fluttershy would be the perfect candidate, but noooo. I guess RD has to take the role now. Anyway, since there were already two big brothers I figured Fluttershy could have a younger brother, but then I thought "how about they're TWINS instead!?" or maybe her brother is adopted! Or maybe to make it even more interesting, Fluttershy is the one adopted! No one does that, now do they? Or maybe they're BOTH adopted! Or they could be half-siblings or even step-siblings...THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS I SAY! Well, I don't think they'd quite go into "foster sibling" territory as that's too dark, but you get what I mean. 

And all I've done is basically made that no matter what form of relationship Fluttershy has with her mystery brother, I'll be disappointed...because I came up with too many interesting possibilities that I doubt the show would touch on. But then, Pinkie ended up being a twin instead! Granted, she's a fraternal twin, but there aren't too many fraternal twins in media, especially same-sex ones. They're usually opposite sex because you cannot have identical opposite-six twins, but somehow media portrays them very similar-looking anyway, so it's pretty different. Plus, one twin being prominently featured and the other being minor never happens in media. TWINS MUST ALWAYS BE TOGETHER! So that's another cool thing I liked about it.

Of course the prospect of a twin sort of brings up some inconsistencies in the earlier seasons. Someone on a Reddit comment mentioned that the plot of Party of One suddenly becomes a little harder to believe. It's one thing to forget your own birthday, but if Pinkie is a twin that means she shares the birthday with her twin! That makes it even more unbelievable to forget a momentous occasion like that! Even if Marble doesn't have the most noticeable of presences, Pinkie never forgets other ponies' birthdays, so why would she forget Marble's? It is indeed a very good point. But that was four seasons ago and it's a pretty minor point. I like Pinkie being a twin, so I don't mind that it makes Party of One a bit harder to swallow. I guess in the flurry of Gummy's after-party and her own psychotic-break, forgetting her own birthday (and her twin's) is a thing that can happen! Anything can if you're Pinkie Pie. 8D

And considering how bizarre the Pie family traditions are maybe they didn't even celebrate birthdays until Pinkie started with her parties. Of course since she in her whole young life also never celebrated birthdays she may have never associated parties with birthdays until she moved to Ponyville, so remembering not only her own birthday but her family's birthdays probably isn't something high in her priority list. It's only a theory though, nothing concrete to answer how Party of One can be. 

Oh and another thing. A lot of people are like "HOW IS PINKIE RELATED TO THIS FAMILY SHE MUST BE ADOPTED" because of them all she does not do the rocks and also she is bright neon pink in the middle of dreary greys, but considering Pinkie when her hair is down she does look related to them all. Her natural not-balloonified hair is similar to the straight hair a lot of her sisters have, so Pinkie just happened to come out with lots of recessive genes or something. 8D She shares her eye colour with her mom though. (I think Maud does as well... and I understand Limestone needs LIME eyes 'cause duh but I wonder where that colour and Marble's lavender eyes come from. Igneous Rock's eyes are the same as his coat colour...and his grey hair looks like his original hair coloured greyed instead of being his natural)

....I just realized Pinkie's dad is bald under that hat. (He isn't wearing it when sleeping) Maybe they ARE older than I thought...thus Limestone being in charge! Huh.

Anyway I thought the episode was decent and its content made me type all that out, but I thought for what it was it could've been much better. I've certainly liked and hated episodes more than this one I could've super ranted about, but because PINKIE'S FAMILY OFMGFGMFGGM this post exists. Sooooo, yeah! This been Spotto and such.

EDIT: The writer of the episode does not consider them twins. He thinks they were all born like a litter, kind of like a cat or a dog... uh. That's not how pony birth works. If pony birth isn't similar to human birth than twins would be incredibly rare.  Plus we've had twins in the form of the Cake Twins, so I always assumed since this is MAGICAL PONY LAND that they would have babies similar to humans. Plus every sibling we've seen until now appears to have an age-gap of some form (Rarity/SB, the Apples, Twi/Shining) so it implies ponies have one foal per pregnancy like real horses do. So Pinkie and Marble must at the very least be twins...but since he seems to think ponies show up in litters, I wonder if the writer is possibly implying they're all quadruplets or something. THE POINT IS CANON IS A MESS SO WHATEVER, THEY'RE TWINS!

EDIT 2 A DAY LATER: "Well technically it's never said who's oldest in the episode so anything is still possible." Alright the writer kinda retracted their statement. I"M SURE somewhere out there like in a con or another twitter we'll one day find out for sure who is the oldest or youngest. As for Maud. her not being in the original flashback (probably being independent pursuing education or something) but then SUDDENLY appearing in the picture frame OF Pinkie's first party in Pinkie Pride sort of breaks that theory, but even then in that picture Maud looks the oldest of the four sisters. SO WHO EVEN KNOWS AT THIS POINT. Even canon is hopelessly inconsistent! What I do know is that Pinkie and Marble are the youngest. The other two's age-status is pending.

EDIT 3: Okay even the director said Limestone is oldest. I WILL STOP STALKING THEIR TWITTERS NOW.
spotto: (Sims - Awesome :D)
Ah. You know what happens when you return to the world of nostalgia? You begin seeing things; things you may never have seen before or if have, never properly ranted about it. This is not one of those rants, unless I discuss my unending quest of discovering whether or not Max has ever worn pants. No, this is a cumulation of frustrations new and old! A pattern that has developed across almost every single one of Spotto's fandoms and favourite characters! A pattern that begins (or mostly, anyway) at Beyblade, an Anime of the past, an Anime of nostalgia, an Anime of great experiences and friendship and one of the first, but most definitely not the last, the first thing I joined as part of the periphery demographic!

And I will tell you why I'm part of it, but not before I illustrate to you, dear non-existent readers, the injustice of media.

I remember back in the day when my favourite character was Rei. I was a young'un back then, replacing terms and names of great beings and deities with Rei's name. I had shipped him with Kai, I recall, and watched and rewatched each and every one of his episodes wherein he shines the greatest. I had friends who shared with me these glorious views and our cult was flourishing across the vast lands of the early Internet. As an old relative of yours may have once said, those were the days. We marched forwards in pride, hoisting our flags high as we declared our love for our one true ship, defending it from what the future may hold. The first season and especially V-Force were kind to us, aiding us in our battle whether they knew it or not as the friendship among the two blossomed. It fueled our massive battleship and propelled it through the seas. We were invincible! We were triumphant! We were the rulers of the Beyblade sea!

But I was not an OG member of this ship or even this character. Oh no. My first love, the being who brought me onto these perilous lands in the first place, invading a peaceful space for little ambitious boys to buy their toys and empty their parents' wallets. I remembered as I kept my salutes high and my loyalty in place, a smaller, more modest, more grounded ship across the bay that I had took my first steps on when I first came to this great land. It called to me and my heart reverberated. I boarded a boat that very night and said a silent heartfelt goodbye to my comrades on the ship as I sailed to a home I held dear. There it stood, as I sailed for many hours, a smaller, older, lightweight ship. It was not the battle-heavy beauty wherein its bow and stern seemed to stretch from sunrise to sunset, with hundreds of thousands of cadets and sailors ahoy, proud of their daily duties. But as I recalled, it was home. 

Though a humble abode it won not many battles, it controlled not much territory, but it existed and welcomed new members with open arms. The friendliness of the embraces that I had received on this very ship brought tears of powerful memories to my eyes. I could not bring myself to ever return to the glory of where most of my comrades stood. This was where I belonged. And so, as I scan through the rich history of this small ship's few records, I can begin my actual rant.

I remember being very annoyed that this series was the Takao and Kai show. It wasn't quite like that at the beginning, but by the time G-Revolution rolled around you knew which characters were focused on the most. As I was a fan of Rei, I languished in the knowledge that so long as Rei was not on Takao's team, he would lose. Heck, even if he was on Takao's team, he'd still lose more than usual. In the first season his Driger (I will call it Byakko to differentiate it from the blade) had left him and then later on sacrificed itself to shield Rei's body. (How it came back as it wasn't part of Tala's army of beasts, we will never know) Then in season two he had it stolen from him by the Saint Shields. Takao in the meantime has never lost his bit-beast (unless the movie is canon) despite being the least experienced Blader of the two and somehow rising to the highest ranks the fastest. Kai has lost it once, to Zeo, but otherwise he kept a firm grip on Suzaku and aside from the time he willingly cast it aside for a stronger, edgier version, such heartbreak was not often felt. When you were without your bit-beast, you were weaker than the others. You had to wait until the rest of them fight the opponent and eventually return your greatest ally, your bestest friend, your bit-beast. But Rei was lucky.

Of the four bit-beasts, Byakko probably had the greatest autonomy among them all. Or at least it had demonstrated the greatest autonomy. Not once did the other bit-beasts leave or shield its owner. Kai had desperately needed it in G-Revolution, but the bit-beasts barely existed that season. Yet Byakko has saved Rei's life not once but twice, and has re-evaluated his owner's worth as well. Meanwhile the few times Dragoon has been uncooperative with Takao (unless the movie counts, again) it simply remained in its blade like a poorly-trained Pokemon as opposed to literally running away. Byakko was quite the bit-beast, I must say. And so even though Rei was given the short-end of the stick in season three, he still had moments where he was the star of the show. He was such a radiant light that he, and only he, had these type of episodes that were largely unique. He had episode forty-nine of the first season, where he almost died trying to tie the best-of-three match against the Demolition Boys. He had episode thirty-eight of the second season, where even though he lacked Byakko, he fought valiantly anyway because a bit-beast wasn't everything to his beloved sport, but that he would do anything to get it back anyway. They were wonderful episodes that showed the viewer how amazing of a character Rei was. He was diligent, stubborn, and never gave up. He had the wins and unique situations to back it up.

So why did I sail away on a little boat back to where it all began?

Rewatching the show reminded me of the one character who instantly took my heart the moment I set eyes on him. Cute adorable little Max. And unlike Rei and definitely unlike the other two, he has no moment to shine at all. At least, not a moment where he beat the indescribable odds and won some ultra-important match that was of great significance to his growth as a character. That doesn't mean he didn't have episodes that focused on him; they just didn't make as much of an impact like the other ones. Max did not fight a battle without his bit-beast to earn his partner back. He did not almost die to keep a series going. He wasn't the one responsible for defeating the Big Bad of the season. His so-called magnum opus performance ended in a tie. Max's episodes were the ultimate "throw-the-dog-a-cookie" episodes. Oh, he'll never win the race. He'll never be the favourite, but by God we gave him a cookie so at least he'd still be happy. He'd still be his optimistic, cheery little self despite winning the least of the four main characters. No wonder he became more serious as time went on (Maturity? What do you mean?) No wonder his final battle was laced with the beginning steps of angst and depression, but even that battle was just throwing the dog a bone. He will never have the prize. He'd have to remain satisfied, in the background, with his participation award.

And well, we all should have known this pattern was going to remain when we see his very first official battle. Max vs. Kai. This battle is all about Max because Kai was obviously going to win. The entire thing was set up so Takao could get his just desserts in defeating the cocky, sourpuss, cold Kai. Yet this was also the battle Max received Genbu. Now unless you're one of Takao or Kai, if you have personal investment in a battle it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to win. First Kai defeats Max easily because he's Kai. Then Max shows off his strategist, tactical nature by launching his blade in the other direction to absorb Kai's finishing move and thus winning the second match. By the third match, Max has replaced his bit-chip with one within his pendant given by his grandma, which is rather convenient. Now, if you were the main character, this would be the catalyst to victory. You now have this great new power that no one has seen before. You'd think by that logic Max would win this match or at the very least tie, since that's exactly what happened when Takao's Seiryuu first appeared and at that point Takao was still less experienced than Max. But no, Max's Genbu shows up and all Kai has to do is summon Suzaku and the whole trump card was for nil. Max loses. Oh, but at least he has a bit-beast now, so it's all okay! Max isn't too sad. In fact he even tried to give Kai a handshake after which because he's such a preciously nice boy. So nice that even the cold-hearted Kai couldn't simply just walk away from. It's amazing what this boy can do.

Now repeat this formula over and over again and you have Max's battles in a nutshell. Sure, he beats Michael during his character-focused arc, but everyone gets their own character-focused arc where we learn of their backstory and motives. It's not unique only to Max. And frankly the PPB All Starz are the most forgettable team of that season anyway. The most interesting character was Max's mom. They even introduced some new guy in season three because of how boring this team was. Beyblade's American stereotypes are awful. Then Max gets an upgrade to his Beyblade, the infamous Draciel F, and I will educate you plebians of Draciel F's might despite winning like practically zero battles during its existence.

It was Draciel F who held back the ridiculously edgy and somehow powerful Black Dranzer (with its fifty-thousand stolen bit-beasts to boot!) during the Kai-redemption episode. Max doesn't actually win on his own though since the whole point was for original Dranzer to knock some sense in his owner's head. Then, as soon as we saw Draciel F's ability Max loses Genbu to the Demolition Boys right after and we never see Max's Beyblade again this season. Welp. They realized how little it was used in Season 1 so by the time V-Force arrived Max was the only one of the four to keep Draciel F for the entirety of the Psykicks' arc. Seriously he doesn't get Draciel V until over halfway through the season! And here, he gets to beat the random scrubs Team Psykick sends out (while losing constantly to Mariam and co. mind you. Kai tied with Dunga and Rei eventually beat Joseph, but noooooo, little Maxie can't win any of his early battles unless it's a random kid!) and finally we have Max's little nonsensical battle with Jim at the tower. Like holy crap, this fight.

I have very mixed feelings about this fight. You see, of the four Max is the only one who doesn't have personal investment in this Tower Arc. Kai's fanboy friend died and he needs revenge. Rei's chasing after some girl because girls. Takao always has personal investment because he's the main character and he fought Kane in a super even and non-cheating heated battle earlier. Besides Takao has abandonment issues, of course he has investment. But Max? Well, too bad so sad. Regardless despite Max's outdated Beyblade and his lack of any plot-related reason to win, he still pummels Cyber Draciel like a little squishy bug over and over and over and over again. And for some reason does this with such reckless and wrathful intensity it's like Max should have had some sort of personal reason! Seriously! For no reason at all Max gets really mad and expressive this battle! FOR NO REASON AT ALL! He acts stubborn and unlike himself...FOR NO REASON AT ALL! Was his friends in danger? Did someone betray him and now he was unleashing his hidden fury unlike anything before? Max has never looked so angry! He has never looked like he wanted so much to win until this fight! BUT WHY!?

And of course, being the water Blader and the smart one, Max begins to suffer from Mercury Syndrome. 

What is Mercury Syndrome? Well if you've seen Sailor Moon you may know what I'm talking about. Sailor Mercury was famous for her seemingly-useless bubble attack in the first season. This was justified by how Mercury fought with her brains and with tactics instead of sheer force like the others. Her bubbles would distract or impede the monster somehow and give the team the upper-hand to destroy it. In the finale of the first season, Jupiter has just died and Mercury stayed behind to hold the somehow unbelievably powerful DD girls back. (Why they weren't used at the very beginning we may never know) Jupiter being the strong one killed two of them in her kamikaze attack. Venus would take one later on after saving Moon, whereas Mars gets a badass "I'm not done yet!" scene where she torches the last two. Mercury gets none because the girls were constantly falling for the monsters' illusions of their loved ones being taken hostage. Even if it was obvious that this was just an illusion, it was effective enough to make the girls' hesitate and it ended up being Jupiter's downfall. So instead of killing off one of the DD girls', Mercury's last stand was to break the jewel on the monster's head to stop these illusions. She then dies, fulfilling her role as the smart one.

Congratulations Max you get to sacrifice Genbu in the name of tactics! He destroys the bit-beast repair system that was allowing Jim to battle Max over and over again. (And like the illusions in Sailor Moon, even if you could just CHOOSE to not accept the challenge again it was still better to rid of it entirely) I mean imagine if Cyber Dragoon was revived over and over again. That's a Godzilla movie waiting to happen. Then of course, his endurance runs out and Max isn't able to defeat Cyber Draciel a third time and he loses his bit-beast. Of course he does. It's just how it works. How do you demonstrate to the audience how dire the situation is if someone doesn't actually lose their bit-beast? I mean sure they had to cheat over and over again to do it, but Max didn't have a plot-related reason to win so even though he absolutely pulverized his competition, he has to sit in the sidelines just like at the end of Season 1 and wait to get his Genbu back. The sad tale of Draciel F ends here, in heartbreak and tragedy. You were a tough Beyblade, Draciel F. You just suffered from terrible luck.

Oh yeah and Max gets punched in the face. That was cut from the dub, but between Dunga and Rick in season three Max sure suffers from assault more often than the others in this series. By the way the two of them share the same voice actor in the dub, so if it weren't for the cuts you could just designate this guy as "the person who voices all the Max abusers".

...Moving on. The series knew it shafted Max during this arc, so he got one all for himself in the next two episodes! The first one was promising. Max reunites with his old friend in America, Alan. We get super adorable glomping and flashbacks. Then it turns out Alan is a little jealous beetle and steals the super amazing bit-beast rock from Max's mom's laboratory and Max is betrayed! It's set-up rather nicely. There's even GTA-esque chase scenes, bazookas, and machine guns all over the place because MURICA yo! Except the machine guns were cut in America. Yeah I don't get it either. Then the second episode was the let-down of all let-downs. Like come on! So Max finally receives Draciel Viper, and isn't behind the times as he used to. (Takao gets V2 like two episodes later. This getting obscene.) He uses it to defeat his friend Alan and...ugh. Let me rewind a bit.

First of all, Alan did this so he could get a cool bit-beast and be on the level with Max, but the person he was working for of course didn't actually do their end of the bargain, so Alan just has a boring normal Beyblade during the impromptu tournament. Also this announcer has a cap with the letters USA on it and the most awful of accents you could ever hear. I know dubs hate silence in Anime and need to fill it up with as much obnoxious dialogue as possible, but geez he was already a terrible stereotype in the original Japanese version. Why would you make it even worse when you're the Americans!?  So anyway, during the actual battle Max fights his old friend but he's so incredibly distracted he almost loses to a normal Beyblade used by a criminal. Wow, Draciel V that is not a good first showing at all. Draciel F may not have won much battles but it had spunk! It was tough! The fact that Max had a whole new upgrade to his Beyblade for this battle and still ties with Normal McNormalson is very worrying. Then eventually he realizes how stupid he's being and destroys Alan like the little insignificant character he is. (Seriously nobody cares about this guy) And no bit-beasts ever appear. 

It was very anti-climatic. Because Alan was ripped off, he wasn't using some massive dangerous force which would've been a great foreboding preview of the next obstacle our main characters would face. Instead it was just a normal Beyblade that made Alan seem all the more pathetic. Meanwhile Max expresses himself greatly and is all the more pumped up for the JIM battle several episodes before, but not this one with the emotional and personal investment. I just don't get it! I just don't get it at all! The first episode set it up so perfectly! The build up was amazing, but the actual product was a crippling disappointment! No wonder no one remembers or cares about you, Alan! I even read a story that had to use an OC to be Max's stray friend instead of Alan! Gah!

Luckily this season isn't all bad for Max. I mean aside from his adorable design upgrade. The best part about the Saint Shields arc was undoubtedly Mariam. When we saw our first female blader in season one it was the sadly stereotypical Mariah, who was as pink as she could be and was basically a girl version of Rei. We finally see another in Emily, but she's only slightly more memorable than the other sports-related characters of the PPB All Starz. Hiromi shows up in season two but she doesn't even beyblade which is frankly disappointing. Mariam is our first good female character in the entire series and is probably the only good female character in the entire series! (Alright Salima was okay as well, but really aside from the two) I will not get into how bad G-Revolution was in developing a character outside of the ones directly related to our main cast until later. She had snark. She had personality. She clashed with her teammates (mostly Dunga) and she had character development too! (Too bad in Beyblade when you have character development you automatically become GOOD IS DUMB and become the next victim of the Worf Effect to the next bad guy in line) And yes, that is how I got into Beyblade! I watched the Max and Mariam episode when they got stuck in a building! I saw a really cute awesome male character with a really beautiful awesome female character! Their designs were nice! The plot of the episode wasn't mindless tournaments and top spinning! We had character development for Mariam! Max gets to be a protector despite being the weakest/cutest-looking of the group! It was different! It was great! IT WAS THE ONLY ONE OF ITS KIND IN THE ENTIRE SERIES! AND THIS IS THE EPISODE I SAW THAT HOOKED ME! THIS EPISODE IS WHY THIS RANT EVEN EXISTS! THIS EPISODE IS WHY I AM HOW I AM NOW!

Why if you went back in time and did something seemingly harmless and insignificant, but it was enough for me to miss this episode I may never have met the friends I have. I may never had joined fanfiction and continued my beloved hobby of writing! What could I have been instead? This was the best episode in the entire series. 

Then Max beats Mariam, she finishes her character arc and all is downhill from here.

Well okay, not necessarily. I do think my least favourite arc of V-Force is its finale however. We get introduced to King and Queen (and no one likes them @_@) because we need characters to fill up a tournament. Do you know how much I hate that? Introducing characters to fill up a tournament? They did that tenfold in season one, but it was okay because each tournament was a setting for each character's backstory, so not only do we learn a great deal about character of the arc, but also the team they face and are associated with. (With the sad exception of the PPB All Starz) Unfortunately we do not really have that for this season except for Zeo and only Zeo. This arc was just ZEO ZEO ZEO ZEO ZEO. The entire season we've had this theme with fanboys and friends who you thought were your friends, but ultimately they fall to the wayside because of their great jealousy of the Bladebreakers. They end up saying YES to drugs (Don't tell me the Psykicks weren't a euphemism for a drug cartel. All those kids were high as fuck) Yuuya/Wyatt dies. Alan goes to jail. And now we have Zeo! Zeo is different because he's actually a robot that Zagart wanted to turn human with the divine power of the sacred four bit-beasts. You know the manga story is a lot more deep and tragic. Zagart stole the first rock thirty-some years ago, but Zeo could not have possibly existed back then. Did he already have the ambitions to bring to life his own mechanical creations way back when? It was a lot more sloppy than the manga story, where Zagart lost his first son, Zeo and forced his second son Leon to adopt the name Zeo so he'd basically become Zeo in his place. 

Anyway, Max teams up with Takao (with Rei and Kai being together) in this sudden tag-team tournament. HOLY CRAP! MAX IS WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER! He's bound to win now! No, he's bound to be tie-breaking fodder so Takao can get all the more glory. :|

Max beats Queen though, somehow. His mind can make his Beyblade spin the other direction just like that. Hey remember way back in season one when he had to slot in his ripcord backwards to make it spin backwards so he could beat Kai? Remember when these tactics actually existed? Yeah they're not coming back in G-Revolution either. Anyway we didn't have the screen-time nor the significance to give Kai and Rei their own super powerful semi-final/quarter-final victims, despite the numerous characters introduced this season. (They were Worf Effect fodder to King/Queen and Zeo, sadly) Oh Zeo has a partner, but he has no characterization whatsoever. He's just there to be his partner because this arc is ZEO ZEO ZEO ZEO ZEO. Then Kai loses to Zeo (Rei has to tie because it'd be absurd if he lost Byakko even MORE) and then we get to the finals match. In some form of crazy miracle, Takao went up first with Zeo's cardboard cutout partner that Rei couldn't beat. So we got Max up against Zeo! YAY!

And he proceeds to DESTROY Zeo! YAY!

And then Zeo summons Suzaku. Not yay.

WHAT HAPPENED TO DRACIEL F'S AMAZING RESISTANCE VERSUS EDGY DRANZER WITH HIS ARMY OF BIT-BEASTS IN SEASON ONE!? Draciel V you suck! (Despite this, Heavy Viper Wall is forever my favourite attack from this series. It's so beautiful) But yeah Max goes first against the biggest threat so the threat's trump card defeats him and makes the situation even more dire. Oh and Max loses Genbu AGAIN. The poor boy just wants to keep his turtle, man! Why is that so hard to ask? And then Takao the main character wins yadda-yadda boo hoo wah wah wah.

Season three is a clusterfuck. I know lots of people love this season,  but they mostly like it for the DBZ-like action and the non-childish (AKA incredibly attractive) designs of the characters. I mean yeah, season two had far too much animal wrestling, but this season didn't really fare better with its stock footage attacks. What is this, Sailor Moon? Basically whoever has the most optimal timing with their stock footage attack wins. I would reiterate back to season one when we had actual real tactics that might really work if these spinning tops were real, but those days are long gone. The first half of the season is a tournament arc and then the second half is a matchup against the BEGA characters. Sigh. Remember when I said I hated tournament arcs for introducing characters solely for the tournament? Unlike season one we don't get the "tournament is a setting for the character backstory". Instead the so-called appeal of the season is that the Bladebreakers are no more and must fight one another. Therefore, Takao needs a Takao-clone to be his new tag-team partner (AKA Daichi) which is really what this series needs. I mean, really. I will never understand these shounen shows.

Max gets a brand new character because of how boring the PPB All Starz are. And since we need our regular serving of Max assault we get the Dunga expy, Rick. Rei and Kai return with their old teams, their partners becoming the heavily nerfed Lee and Tala. (Because they can't outshine our main characters after all!) For whatever reason we need to replace the Majestics with the Barthez Battalion. (Why? I have no fucking clue. There was nothing wrong with the Majestics. They have lovely personalities and probably would've been my second favourite team if they were ever given screen-time.) Aside from some awkward abusive coach arc with these four characters we literally know nothing about them. Whose favourite character is Claude anyway? The only reason someone might like them is because of their designs. Matilda has a fucking hedgehog bit-beast. That's fucking amazing. F Sangre had potential to give us a brother-sister duo we wouldn't hate with all our might, but they didn't really go anywhere either. Am I forgetting any team? Were there really only six teams in this tournament? This is sad. All of this is very sad.

You got this sloppily organized tournament with characters we really don't care about (unless you like their designs!) all so in the end we have a Kai and Takao rematch. Wow. Amazing. Max and Rei aren't allowed to win against either Kai and Takao (who must WIN ALL THEIR MATCHES!!1!!!! Unless of course Takao isn't actually trying and loses in a non-epic intense manner) and when you pit Max and Rei together instead of some intense epic battle of who is NUMBER THREE in the Bladebreakers, we get a "teach Rick teamwork" episode. Don't get me wrong I like the episode, especially Lee randomly winning, but that's so sad. I thought the appeal was to see the old team fight one another, but we don't get to see who of Max or Rei are better? It just emphasizes all the more how much this tournament is just to show off Kai and Takao before they fight one another. (If you really didn't want to reveal who was better make Max and Rei tie and have Rick and Lee be the tie-breaker. THAT'D BE INTERESTING AND DIFFERENT!) THIS IS SO SAD. WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE THIS SEASON!?

Well I imagine it'd be for the BEGA arc if anything. Did I mention Takao's brother by the way? I find his character absolutely pointless for this season. He makes sense in the manga because he shows up in the VERY BEGINNING when Takao is a rookie beyblader. Why would Takao need a goddamn mentor after he's become a two-time Beyblade World Champion? Where the hell were you when he needed you way back in season one? He's just here to be a cryptic (and random) ninja who decides the best way to make Takao better (when he's already the very best) is to train the BEGA bladers. In terms of personality he seems rather bland. He's just there to be eyecandy and the generic mentor person. My god. Oh and after we had such a great character in Mariam in season two we are given an insulting excuse of a female character in Ming Ming. She just sings, magically transforms to be older (like some sort of pseudo-magical girl transformation) when she Beyblades. What is her personality? To be cute? What the fuck.

Then you got Moses (and the dub finds renaming him Crusher the smartest of ideas. WHAT PERSON NAMES THEIR KID CRUSHER!? I mean sure, what person names their kid Dunga or even names their kid Moses, but you tell that to the millions of dudes named Mohammed) who is given a whole sob story about his ill sister, so now Rei's OPPONENT has the personal investment instead of him, so he's destined to win instead. Even though we're all supposed to be sympathetic and such to him, he is still technically working for the BAD GUY. His side isn't supposed to win! 

Then there's Mystel! Who is he? Where does he come from? We don't know! His name is Mystel! That means he's mysterious. His entire persona is being mysterious. Yay. Oh, but god forbid this mysterious gentleman loses because Max ties against him. Max has to tie so Kai can get his revenge against Brooklyn and Takao wins. (God forbid Takao loses or ties!) That way a tie-breaker between Brooklyn and Takao could happen (this entire battle was so what) and it's just. RARGH. You know what I would've done? Max would've WON and then Takao would've tied against Garland. Then Takao and Brooklyn could be the rematch! THEN EVERYONE GETS SPOTLIGHT! Because Max never wins a battle he has an emotional investment in, unless it's that piss-poor of an excuse fight he had versus Alan in season two or the one he had in season one that everyone pretty much had anyway! MAX. WAS. GYPPED!

I'll breathe.

Yes. That Max vs. Mystel battle was another THROW THE DOG A BONE battle. Max didn't win. He doesn't get to win. He's not the main character! He tied so the plot can go on, but he couldn't get the elusive victory no matter how hard he tries. He's always the underdog in every battle but that doesn't seem to do anything for him in terms of helping him win! The crowd cheers for him anyway (and the dubbing of this crowd is so sad I just want to melt into a drain and disappear into the ocean) because that was his bone. He didn't technically lose and the people still like him anyway so he can be back to his happy, cheery self. NO WONDER ALL THOSE MAX FANFICTIONS I TRIED TO READ DEPICTED HIM AS SECRETLY DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME! WHO WOULDN'T BE AFTER ALL THIS!? You can't win! You don't win! Yet you keep up your cheery shell anyway! That's probably why Rei GOT ALL ANGRY this season because he too doesn't win as much and he had to let out such a humongous amount of frustration trying, over and over again, to win. Even if he had the backing of his team and the little symbolism tied around his arm that for ALL ACCOUNTS AND PURPOSES, if this was ANY OTHER SHOW, Rei would've won and defeated Kai! BUT NO! THE PLOT SAYS, KAI MUST FACE TAKAO! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT BONE YOU THROW OR WHAT PERSONAL INVESTMENT YOU HAVE!

YOU! WILL! ALWAYS! LOSE!

And that is why there isn't a season four of Beyblade.




spotto: (Sooooolo)
Nostalgia is like being an archaeologist, digging for artifacts buried long ago beneath the sand. In this modern age, something like the internet may exist, but what once was in the ancient internet most likely isn't around now. Old fanfictions are deleted by the wayside, disappearing into the oblivion with the countless lost data that once existed in this world. I once saw this comic adaptation of a pretty awesome PPG fanfic, but it is now nowhere to be found. Even with websites designed to archive such things cannot pull it up. Even the author of said fanfiction did not keep any backups of it...and the artist, the one behind the comic? We may never know what became of them. So the existence of this fanwork only exists now in memory. 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WEARS OVERALLS IN ALL THREE SEASONS!?


they were never shorts
and they were never pants
they were all overalls

max's mom buys all his clothes

spotto: (pouty korea)
What irony it was, for the woman who had been in an accident to be the one to rush over to him, instead. Max's gaze remained at the sky despite the snowflakes that were falling all around him and on him. The pinch of coolness that would touch his cheek or forehead or nose was nothing compared to his elbow that hung limply by his side. But even with that surge of pain enveloping his arm, he could do nothing but stare up at the heavens. It wasn't like he was about to die or anything as heavy as that and was viewing his immediate future. It was as if everything that happened today; everything that happened just now was insignificant. The clouds in the sky were fluffy as they could be, a far cry from the slippery and hard surfaces underneath his back. He could barely register the voice of that woman, who had only been lightly injured, calling for him and asking if he was okay. The guys back at the hotel would soon notice he was late, and eventually missing, if he had not responded or given any information to the sudden appearance of people in dark navy jumpsuits. It was only when his fixed stare of the limitless ceiling above him was replaced by a true ceiling, white and bland in colour, did his mind finally process what was happening.

That didn't keep any of it from being a complete haze. Max eventually attributed his state to the heavy dose of morphine the freshly hired EMT had administered on him, even if he never felt the needle being inserted into his still useful arm. By the time he found himself to be fully sound-of-mind, the medical personnel at the hospital had kicked him out after fixing his arm to a split and wrapping it up in what felt to be far too much gauze. On the bright side, they didn't forget the sling, and Max was an expert at discovering the bright side of life. He had apparently given a statement on what happened during the car accident while he was high on drugs, and had wondered if the investigation team from the insurance offices were aware that whatever he said had to be taken with a grain of salt. The heavily-worded letter filled with passive-aggression and near profanity he had found on his doorstep when he had gotten home was a good indication they did not. As such, Max had suddenly found himself being sued.

"For how much!?" His almost as excitable friend had asked. 

"Two hundred..." 

Takao began to smile, "Oh that's not too bad--"

"...thousand dollars."

"Oh man. That can buy like, a thousand burgers!"

A younger teenager sitting not far from the two of them could be heard directing his palm into his face, "No. More like forty thousand burgers."

"Whoa!" He audibly gasped.

Max then turned his attention to the other letter he had received in the mail, "Forty thousand...the same number on this piece of paper."

The blonde had barely remembered any of it, but apparently those two or so days within the ER and beyond was worth around forty grand, and that wasn't including the surgery. His best friend of five years had lamented a few times how America, though renowned for its burgers, was pretty lackluster in various other areas. Takao had expected the toilets to be just like the ones in the hotels in Japan, where there was an extra option for..well, extra hygiene. And he hadn't seen a single arcade during any of their commutes through the city. If it weren't for the massive portions of food, which he had considered what was appropriate for the norm, he would've demanded a plane out of the country ages ago. 

Max wondered why he would even bring up such complaints as this was at least the fourth or fifth time he had come here. He himself had lost count, seeing as he had a single parent in one side of the world and another in the next. He had somehow managed when growing up to never break a bone in his body until now, and as luck would have it he chose the wrong country to do so in.

"That's harsh man. A whole forty-grand...that's like how much...yen?" Takao chuckled, still struggling to figure out the currency exchange.

"Let's just say a lot," Max put down his bill and sat back on his bed, "Well luckily mom will be able to find a good lawyer...and maybe I'm still part of her health insurance plan? I'm not sure, but until then I can't go back to Japan with you guys."

"Oh that's fine! We'll stick around until you have everything settled!"

That same teenager who remained seated at the table with his laptop stood up, "Takao! We can't afford to stay in a hotel for the next few weeks!"

"Weeks!? You're stuck here for weeks!?" Takao exclaimed in horror.

"Weeks, maybe even months. Who knows?" Max shrugged despite one of his arms in a sling. It's not like his elbow bone was affecting his shoulder bone.

The brunette by the desk adjusted his glasses, "The pressing matter at hand is what we'll do back at the force without you. As dramatic as your alter-ego may seem, you are a crucial part of our department."

"Aw shucks Kenny, I'm sure you'll all be fine for a few weeks. Think of it like an extended vacation!" Max began, "...Where I lose the use of my arm and several thousand dollars."

"But we're strapped with people even with you on board!" Kenny argued, "Our precinct has far too much of an area to cover without you!"

Max though, wasn't worried in the slightest, "Pshaw! You and the guys are more than enough to handle the load! After all, remember that time when Takao, Kai, and Tala spent the week away with food poisoning because of the mysterious lemon pie left at the office party? We managed fine!"

"No we didn't! We let two hit-and-run suspects get away, and the Mayor threatened to lower our funding for our inadequate efforts that week!" Kenny was not at all convinced.

"I don't remember that at all. I caught all the villains I was pursuing," Max tapped his chin with his good arm.

Takao almost slammed his hand into Kenny's back, "Oh the Chief is exaggerating! We only let one get the away, the other was eventually caught two weeks later. And the Mayor only threatened to lower our food bill...actually, that does sound serious now that I think about it."

"That isn't the point!" Kenny continued, "We're not just losing an officer, we're losing Maxman! What will our city do in the weeks without Maxman? Their confidence in the fight against crime will diminish! All the criminal organizations' morale will be boosted significantly! Crime will be rampant! Lives will be lost! Property, destroyed!"

"Well, Maxman will temporarily be relocated to the City of New York! If I know my crime dramas all the bad guys operate here!" 

Takao scratched his cheek, "That's well, that'd be cool except I dunno how well Maxman will do with a broken arm."

"Oh what's the deal? I've fought with a shattered knee before once! A little single arm action can go a looooong way!"

"No, Max. You'll have no backup here like last time. You're in an totally foreign environment--"

"Half-American."

"You haven't lived here in years! And it wasn't even this particular city! And if you get yourself hurt again, no one can cover for your damages so you'll be seeing double that bill, or triple, or quadruple!"

-

Why the fuck did I continue this story? 
spotto: (arisu margtrod)
Once upon a time on a cold, chilly day there was a boy named Max. He had lovely yellow, messy hair and freckles upon his face, above which were some wondrous blue eyes. He was hopping about on the sidewalk that day, taking such a path seeing as he was bordered on both sides by knee-height snow. His boots left jolly imprints on the mostly-shovelled sidewalk, appearing rather sporadically in time with his merry gait. He looked up and there appeared to be a large bridge going right over the four-lane road he was next to. He had been planning to visit the store across the street a few blocks from whence he stood, but this was the first he had seen of this bridge. Knowing he had never trekked onto such a marvel of architecture, and knowing it was far more convenient than to wait at yet another boring stop-light several metres down the street, Max took several steps up the stairway, advancing across the bridge.

He stopped at the middle to gawk at the cars zooming past underneath him, as if they had no qualms about the no-doubt icy surfaces they were rolling across. His thoughts were cut-short when one car had overestimated its own all-weather tires, skidding about until it had come to a roaring halt into the stairway Max had moments ago climbed. The hood of the poor sedan was crumpled up, and the woman in the driver's seat was shocked right out, having barely recovered from the air bag expanding in such speeds as to protect her pretty face from the unmerciful steering wheel. Max reacted as one would, quickly dashing across the bridge and rushing down the stairs. Unfortunately in his haste, he too had overestimated his boots' ability to grip on the icy surfaces and found himself not just descending, but tumbling down to the ground. With reflexes like that of a competitive sports participant, Max threw out his left arm to shield the rest of his body from the solid ground below. He fell with a heavy thud, though it was somewhat muffled by his heavy winter coat.

Alas, Max's clever ploy to protect the rest of his body was not a smart one for his arm, which had held out well in the nanoseconds it could to keep the rest of his body from contacting the unmoving sidewalk, but in doing so the elbow snapped right back, and a pain Max had not felt since he was a young child during a nasty bike crash rushed back into his memories as well as his nerves. His other arm grasped the elbow in an instant, and it took him great willpower, the same willpower he used to summon his God Turtle during spinning top battles, to keep from crying out.

And so the story ends with two accidents, damages on vehicles and limbs be damned. The synposis of a story that Spotto read has now come true, from the keyboard of Spotto as opposed to the fraudulent and untrue summary that was one she had read earlier. It had promised the reader, should they venture into such a tale, that Max would've broken his arm after falling down some stairs. Neither of which ever happened in such a story, and a girl, so unsatisfied was she, immediately loaded up Dreamwidth to write down an impromptu story.

None of which would have happened if a bloody antivirus had updated promptly, allowing her a night's rest during the late hours of 3:20AM. But since it took its sweet time thanks to her ISP's incompetence, she had to wait, and wait, and wait with droopy eyes and baited breath, until great rage urged her to express her emotions in that of a pointless drabble.

This has been Spotto and FUCK NOSTALGIA. WHY ARE ALL THESE OLD FANFICTIONS SO BAD!?!?!?

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