I apologize to TTGL and Touhou fans in advance.
Touhou/Gurren Lagann CROSSOVER!And no I did not think of all this suddenly, it had been brewing in my mind for a few days now... I'll show myself out.
Well I know such a crossover has probably happened before. (Touhou is crossed with EVERYTHING!) But I thought out my own interpretation and wanted to type it all down, so here it is!
Simon - Alice
Kamina - Marisa
Yoko - Reimu
Nia - Koishi
Viral - Mokou
Kittan - Sanae
Rossiu - Patchouli
Leeron - Nitori
Boota - Sukusuku Hakutaku (Ex-Keine)
Gimmy and Darry - Cirno and Daiyousei
Lordgenome - Lady Satori
Lordgenome's Minions - The Animal Youkai
Kinon - Koakuma
Gurren - Hourai armed with the Hakkero
Lagann - Shanghai
Gurren Lagann - Goliath Doll
Lazengann - Utsuho
Teppelin - Chireiden (Palace of the Earth Spirits)
King Kittan - Hisoutensoku
Arc-Gurren - Palanquin
Drill - Lance
Drill Key - Magical sewing needle
DOUBLE BOOMERANG - DOUBLE SPARK
GIGA DRILL BREAKER -
SPINNING LANCE POWERED BY BLAZING STARMALICE CANNON
GIGA DRILL MAXIMUM - A BUNCH OF SHANGHAIS AND HOURAIS EXTENDED FROM GOLIATH DOLL STUFFED WITH GUNPOWDER AND POKING EVERYTHING WITH THEIR LANCES BOOM
Spiral Power = Danmaku (alternatively, THE LACK OF COMMON SENSE!)
Antispiral - Lunarians
And now that you know my deranged headcanon on a Touhou/TTGL crossover...I shall explain my reasonings for these choices.
Kamina is an amazing character and obviously there is no one Touhou character who could do him justice. So I chose Marisa! I think the point here is that Kamina in TTGL though has shitloads of charisma and is a very motivating fellow, he is ultimately very ordinary. His boasts and confidence is backed up by Simon's ability, and Simon's ability is backed up by Kamina's encouragement. That healthy cycle is what makes them an amazing team. Marisa is the ordinary magician. She is the most normal named human in all of Gensokyo. She has no gifted powers like Reimu, nor is she half-something like Youmu or Sanae. She doesn't even have a mysterious past to fall back on like Sakuya. And out of the many Touhou characters only a few are close to Kamina's bombastic personality. Also I chose Marisa here because I chose Alice as Simon. (If Parsee was Simon instead, Yuugi would be Kamina)
Alice is Simon because of her dolls and her personality and all that. I mean, I could just make Sanae Simon if I wanted to be straightforward what with Hisoutensoku, but Sanae is pretty much the opposite of Simon, egads.
Reimu is Yoko. I figured Reimu would ground out the trio well. I was considering Reisen (guns and sex appeal! Hohoho!) or Keine (becomes a teacher!) but I think Reimu just makes the most sense. And when they go underground to find Patchouli, she can tell Reimu to cover herself because of her blatantly exposed armpits!!! (If you can't tell, certain fanon interpretations are used for this crossover)
Koishi is Nia because Satori is Lordgenome. When I watched TTGL I just could not rub off the feeling that Nia looked RIDICULOUSLY familiar to me. So yeah, also when she is controlled by the Lunarians her third eye closes and she loses her satori-self foreeeever. That's why she disappears in the end! (That is potentially more tragic than Nia's fate itself, yes, but tragic characters in Touhou should have tragic endings, it is only fitting)
Speaking of tragic characters, we have Mokou as Viral. If you know ANYTHING about Touhou and TTGL, this should not require an explanation. Of all characters I used for the crossover, this is the most obvious. (Alright fine I'll explain. Both are powered by the insane desire for vengeance. Both end up as survivors constantly, and both become immortal. Both are very tragic characters, both are badass, both...should I continue!?!? Also in fanon in particular Mokou always ends up in the losing side against Kaguya for some reason, perhaps because a beat-up looking Mokou just seems awesome, but I don't know)
Sanae happens to be Kittan because I wanted Hisoutensoku to exist in some form. And again, bombastic characters require bombastic crossovers. I'm not entirely sure how Sanae fits exactly, but since she does come in as Shrine Maiden #2, I think she fits Kittan here. (Also Sanae gets to die in IMO the saddest scene in TTGL! Yes, I thought Kittan's death was the saddest, punch me if you must)
Now before Patchouli fans throw their shoes at me for making her one of the most hated characters in TTGL, hear me out. So far, if you can tell the pattern of the characters chosen, everyone here is part of Marisa's silly harem. (Well no, to be a bit more proper, people Marisa are often associated with, with the exception of Mokou) And Patchouli does close herself inside her library for long periods of time, which reminds me of Rossiu and his people who had no idea of the outside and lived with their traditional values. Also I made Koakuma Kinon, which makes it a few hundred times more fitting. Again this is not a completely 100% loyal crossover, so maybe Patchouli won't stab Alice in the back and have her executed for the sake of keeping the people calm.
Nitori is Leeron because lol. I think she can retain his creepiness too if she constantly threatens people with the usual kappa instinct. EXTRACT EVERYONE'S SHIRIKODAMA!
Cirno and Daiyousei seem perfect for Gimmy and Darry. Daiyousei often seems to be the straight man to Cirno's reckless hijinks. SHE IS THE STRONGEST! (and will one day inherit Goliath Doll!)
Satori as Lordgenome...now at first glance this seems nonsensical. We have this insanely GAR humongous muscle monster of a man who would make more sense as an oni or something, and yet Satori takes this role. Again, I go with personality before looks (Satori looks similar to young Lordgenome though o_O) and Lordgenome took care of a lot of animals, which became the Beastmen. Lordgemome is also hated by all the humans despite doing something for what he thinks is the greater good. (Satori runs the Former Hell but no one likes her) Also the beastmen are completely loyal to him, just as Satori's pets are completely loyal to her. (Well except that one time Orin didn't tell her about Utsuho going insane and potentially endangering everything, but we can always forgive thaaaat) And when she is stabbed by Alice with her sewing needle, (oh man that visual is amusing me to no end) Patchouli can perserve her third eye in a tube of fluids during the second arc! Then at the big finale she returns with her whole body and brings back Okuu, where they both do this wicked awesome sacrifice so Alice and Shanghai can use them as their ultimate danmaku and kill those damn Lunarians! PURITY AND IMPURITY IS NOTHING!
The thing with Lordgenome's minions is that they don't last very long and are very typical bad guys. Adiane might be the only one who has at least a LITTLE depth to her. So I might make the minions a bit more flexible. What I do want though is Orin to exist somewhere, and the "base" they steal to be something from Touhou. :D Again this is all a work in progress!
Koakuma is Kinon because of Rossiu's entire storyarc. It only makes sense with Patchouli! She is her assistant and the one who cares about her deteriorating health! "Patchouli, you must not overstress yourself! You're anemic and asthmatic!" Or whatever. ...perhaps Alice leaving the government to Patchouli is not the best idea in that sense. It's not like Simon makes the most wisest of decisions.
The gunmen, or in this case the gunpowder-filled dolls, the actual gigantic robot, and the nuclear hell raven are sentient btw. I don't want Utsuho to just be this empty shell of a bird for Satori to control. (Even if canonly she has a very empty mind...that is besides the point!)
Finally, the Lunarians as the Antispiral. I was thinking on this one for a while. I thought maybe the Celestials or the Hermits (celestials are hermits) or something, but then I realised there actually is a race of people who used to live on Earth but left because it was unseemly. Instead of the Spiral Nemesis dooming the universe, the "impurity" of the earthlings will eventually see to it the end of the universe itself. Now the whole impure and pure aspect of Touhou (well, Japanese culture in general) is kind of confusing, but Lunarians are immortal, or as immortal as they can be. And they find "death" to be impure. They have advanced technology to the point that they realise the universe is not pure in itself, that it will someday die. But the humans/earthlings are the impure beings who will only bring the demise of the universe sooner, so they make sure they don't exist.
Of course Satori, who realised this in her fight with the Lunarians to stop their constant genocide of the Earthlings, decided that rather than fighting common sense, to protect the people who were left by keeping them out of the loop and inside barriers, hidden from the Lunarians to see. Unfortunately the Lunarians had a plan whenever Earthlings popped up again, which is the whole messenger thing that hits Koishi or whatever. I HAVE NOT WORKED OUT THE KINKS YET. You're probably wondering what with the existence of barriers and borders everywhere, that Yukari would make more sense as Lordgenome, but when who would be Nia? And who would be her minions, just her two shikigami!? I dunno, perhaps Yukari and Satori can exist as Lordgenome or something...I'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE. Again, this is a work in progress.
So here's how the story might sound with these changes...
Rather than being forced underground, Marisa and Alice are stuck inside the Forest of Magic, which is bordered off from the rest of the world for whatever reason. Marisa's father, Mr. Kirisame had left her here and actually travelled outside of the border, but of course no one believes her. Instead of digging everyone in the forest forages for mushrooms. People find Alice weird because of her strange obsession with making dolls and her preferred solitude. No one actually sees Marisa as Alice's friend, just someone who "takes pity" on her, which is untrue. Marisa is truly Alice's friend in her mind and Alice, though often annoyed by Marisa's presense, secretly admires her. (Or loves her if you want yuri in this, idc)
Being stuck in one place leads to a significant lack of resources and the only dolls Alice is ever able to make are straw dolls. One fateful day while foraging for mushrooms, she finds a genuine sewing needle in perfect condition as if someone had dropped it into the forest just hours before. It turns out the needle happens to be magical in some way because the moment Alice used it to make a doll, the doll changed from its usual straw shape to a real doll, Shanghai.
Suddenly, the border has been blown open by powerful animal youkai from the outside (choose one, idc...Chen?), which had been fighting with rebels. Reimu drops in with her yin-yang orbs and ofuda (what, you wanted a gun?) but Marisa tries to fight it on her own with her Hakkero. She repeatedly insists it has great power (given by her father, idk its real Touhou origin) but it has never done anything so the people living in the Forest of Magic just assumed it was a useless hexagon thing. And while Reimu is almost able to exterminate this youkai, Marisa's interference keeps it from happening, and Alice is mixed in the fray with her "useless doll", until Marisa comes up with at that point what seems like a ridiculous plan.
Alice would puppeteer the doll to distract the animal youkai, while Reimu flanks. Alice does just that, except Shanghai has more up its sleeve than just flailing its arms about. With great dexterity Alice is able to pull out a lance and shield, shoot out beams and other danmaku and generally be a miniature fighting machine. This is so effective the animal youkai is blown back outside the border, with Marisa, Alice, and Reimu following it.
THUS BEGINS THE CROSSOVER! Wooo! I won't go into detail the entirety of this, of course. That'd take forever. Reimu was in a similarly bordered-off land next to the Forest of Magic, the Hakurei Shrine. They are now outside in a land they all only know as "Gensokyo". Animal youkai have been suppressing the rest of them for some time, keeping them inside the borders or destroying them if they escaped, but Reimu has been exterminating them for some time. Marisa and Alice join her! Hourai is eventually stolen from some random mook (let's say Medicine!) and Marisa, though having no knowledge in how to work with puppets, manages to install her Hakkero into it and when she pulls a cord, a Master Spark flies out. (This is only after several attempts when nothing happens, but Marisa's stubborn and magnificent belief that it would work finally makes it happen! Huzzah!)
Shanghai and Hourai can combine when Shanghai shoves her lance into Hourai's head. (Following closer to TTGL for this because otherwise I have no idea! It's still a crossover being polished) Thus they become Goliath Doll, and they fight the Phoenix, Mokou! Then Goliath Doll can combine with the Palanquin, then the moon itself! (or not, Lunarians are FROM the moon so dropping the moon onto Earth might need to be changed) Then it becomes a Goliath Doll with Utsuho's third leg and eye (but they're gone when the sacrifice happens) and the Goliath Doll is grafted by DANMAKU itself!
There's also a whole bunch of minor characters I can't really be bothered to tie in with a 2hu, so eh. And yes this sorta means Alice/Koishi needs to exist. Nonetheless Alice will start alone and end alone because everyone dies, kind of.
I think that's the extent of my imagination...FOR NOW!