Apr. 27th, 2016

spotto: (Q_Q)
PONES!!

EVERY EPISODE HAS ITS FLAWS, UNLESS IT DOESN'T

I'M GOING TO NAME AS MANY AS I CAN AND JUSTIFY THEM IN AS LITTLE WORDS AS I AM ABLE TO

WITH CAPS LOCK ON THE ENTIRE TIME

READY? STEADY? GO!

1&2. THE PILOT IS EXTREMELY FORMULAIC. BOOK OF LORE. GO TO PONYVILLE. MEET FIVE PONIES. EVIL BOSS SHOWS UP. QUEST TO THE CASTLE WHERE EVIL BOSS IS WITH THESE FIVE PONIES. DEFEAT THEM WITH MAGIC MACGUFFIN. 

3. TICKET MASTER WAS BORING. THE WEEKENDERS DID IT BETTER.

4. APPLEBUCK SEASON'S APPLEJACK'S VOICE WAS TOO HIGH IDK. UNICORNS OP. APPLEJACK PURPOSEFULLY PUTTING WORMS IN HER COOKING IS BEYOND SLEEP DEPRIVATION AND ENTERING DELUSIONAL PSYCHEDELIC LEVELS OF CRAZY.

5. GRIFFON THE BRUSH-OFF WAS PERFECT. YEP. I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BAD TO SAY ABOUT THIS EPISODE. I SUPPOSE IT WASN'T OUTSTANDING? SORT OF AVERAGE? NOT THE GREATEST OF HUMOUR? RATHER SUBJECTIVE. GILDA'S A ONE-DIMENSIONAL BULLY? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME I LIKED THIS EPISODE.

6. PINKIE AND FLUTTERSHY HAD ZERO LINES. BLASPHEMY!

7. UNLESS THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF PONIES ASKING DRAGONS TO LEAVE AND THE IDEA ACTUALLY WORKING RUINS DRAGONS IN THIS SERIES FOR YOU, THERE IS NO REAL FLAW.

8. TWILIGHT WAS NAIVE AS FUCK.

9. BRIDLE GOSSIP WAS THE FUNNIEST EPISODE IN SEASON ONE. ALTERNATE OPINIONS ARE WRONG.

10. BOTH SIDES WERE OF EQUAL FAULT IN SWARM OF THE CENTURY. THEY HAD A COMMUNICATION FAILURE. PINKIE NOT EXPLAINING ANYTHING IN GENERAL AND THE REST OF THEM NOT TAKING HER SERIOUSLY ENOUGH TO EVEN ASK.

'11. ITTY BITTY TWINKIE PINKIE' WAS INDEED TOO SACCHARINE FOR MY EARS. ALSO SPIKE WAS A DICK. HILARIOUS, BUT A DICK.

12. TWIST IS INTRODUCED SOLELY TO BECOME IRRELEVANT. SCOOTALOO AND SWEETIE BELLE PHASED INTO EXISTENCE AND WERE SUDDENLY INSERTED INTO APPLE BLOOM'S CLASS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE YEAR. (BESIDES THAT NONSENSICAL SCENE WHERE THEY WERE COWERING IN FEAR TOGETHER IN THE PILOT, BUT LET'S IGNORE THAT)

13. NO ONE OUTSIDE OF APPLEJACK AND RAINBOW DASH CARE THAT THEY WERE CHEATING. AT ALL. WHAT THE SHIT.

14. THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF THE MANE FIVE ARE NOT SELF-AWARE ENOUGH TO REALIZE HOW HIDEOUS ALL OF THEIR DRESSES WERE. EVEN IF THEY LIKED THEIR OWN THEY WOULD NO DOUBT REALIZE HOW AWFUL THE OTHERS WERE. EXCEPT PINKIE. 

15. I HAD NO PROBLEM WITH THE MORAL IN THIS EPISODE, EXCEPT MAYBE IT WAS TOO VAGUE AND THAT MIGHT HAVE LEAD TO SOME CONTROVERSY. 

16. RARITY MAY BE VAIN ENOUGH TO NOT REALIZE HOW MUCH SHE WAS SABOTAGING DASH'S DREAM IN SONIC RAINBOOM, BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS FASHION DESIGNER COULD COME UP WITH SUCH A HORRID OUTFIT AND NOT REALIZE THE EXTENT OF HER ATROCITY BEING EXPOSED TO ALL OF CLOUDSDALE.

17. UNTIL SOMEONE POINTED IT OUT, I DID NOT REALIZE HOW MANY TIMES THE WRONG VOICE SYNCED WITH THE WRONG CMC. 

18. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU OR THE PLOT SAYS. SWEETIE BELLE'S OUTFIT WAS CUTE.

19. RARITY KNEW ALL ALONG HOW STUPID THE DIAMOND DOGS WERE, AND SO KNEW HER WHINING WOULD DEFEAT THEM. THE MESSAGE ISN'T "BITCH AND MOAN ALL DAY AND YOU'LL OUTWIT YOUR CAPTORS" BUT SIMPLY "YOU CAN USE BRAIN INSTEAD OF BRAWN TO OUTWIT YOUR CAPTORS" ADMITTEDLY THEY MAY NOT HAVE DELIVERED THEIR MORAL WELL.

20. GREEN ISN'T YOUR COLOUR IS PERFECT. GOOD DAY.

21. THIS ENTIRE PREMISE IS TOUCHY AND THE WRITERS APPROACHED THE ISSUE IN THE LEAST DARING, MOST BENIGN MANNER POSSIBLE THAT THIS EPISODE MIGHT AS WELL BE ENTIRELY IGNORED. FORTUNATELY THE HUMOUR WAS (MOSTLY) ON POINT, EXCEPT FOR PINKIE'S SINGING, AND THE FLUTTERSHY GLOMP IS THE GREATEST SCENE EVER.

22. THAT YAKETY SAX SCENE WAS THE LEAST ENTERTAINING YAKETY SAX SCENE I'VE SEEN.

23. WHAT IS THIS PLACE FILLED WITH SO MANY WONDERS? CASTING ITS SPELL THAT I AM NOW UNDER! SQUIRRELS IN THE TREES AND THE CUTE LITTLE BUNNIES~ BIRDS FLYING FREE AND THE BEES WITH THEIR HONEY! HOOOOOOOOONEY! OH WHAT A MAGICAL PLACE. AND I OWE IT ALL TO THE PEGASUS RACE! IF I KNEW THE GROUND HAD SO MUCH UP ITS SLEEVE, I'D HAVE COME HERE SOONER, AND NEVER LEAVE! YES. I. LOVE. EVERYYYYYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!! (THIS IS THE FIRST MLP SONG I MEMORIZED BY HEART)

24. THE FIRST OF MANY BORING, MEDIOCRE, DIGNITY-DESTROYING SPIKE EPISODES.

25. PARTY OF ONE IS FLAWLESS.

26. FOR SOME REASON THIS IS STILL THE BEST WRITTEN FINALE OF THE SERIES.

-

1&2. DISCORDED PINKIE COULD'VE BEEN LESS ONE-DIMENSIONAL. UNLESS THE SHOW IS BEING META AND THE OPPOSITE OF PINKIE IS ONE-DIMENSIONAL. I LIKE THAT HEADCANON.

3. PARTY OF ONE ALREADY DID IT, BUT OTHERWISE IT WAS FUNNY. BALLOONS IN MY BASKET IS THE MOST UNDERRATED SCENE AND SONG IN THE ENTIRE SERIES/FANDOM RESPECTIVELY.

4. THIS EPISODE WAS FLAWLE--OKAY, THERE WAS A LOT OF MISCOMMUNICATION ESPECIALLY ON PINKIE'S PART, WHO ESSENTIALLY FAILED TO COMMUNICATE AT ALL. INSTEAD OF BEING WISE AND FIXING THE PROBLEM ANYWAY LIKE IN EPISODE TEN SHE ONLY SERVED TO DRIVE THE CONFLICT, BUT I AM PERSONALLY OKAY WITH IT.

5. WHY IS SWEETIE BELLE FRAMED AS THE CORRECT ONE IN THIS EPISODE? RARITY HAS TO KEEP HER BUSINESS RUNNING BUT APPARENTLY MAKING THE CUTE LITTLE SISTER UPSET IS A HUGE SIN THAT RARITY MUST MAKE UP FOR. I STILL LIKED THE EPISODE THOUGH BECAUSE IT PORTRAYED A SIBLING RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS LESS IDEAL THAN APPLEJACK'S.

6. I DON'T REMEMBER THIS EPISODE BEING MEMORABLE.

7. TANK WAS VERY PREDICTABLE, BUT IT WAS HEARTWARMING ALL THE SAME.

8. EVERYONE'S AN ASSHOLE. 

9. DANG RARITY YOU ONE LUCKY SON OF A BITCH. 

10. I WISH PINKIE'S APARTMENT BEING BLOWN AWAY HAD MORE LASTING EFFECT. OH WELL.

11, HOW ON EARTH DID THE MOST COMPETENT PONIES IN THIS STORY ONLY END UP BEING ADVISORS OR SIDEKICKS? NO WONDER THEY WERE FUCKED.

12. JESUS CHRIST GRANNY SMITH IS THREE-HUNDRED-YEARS-OLD. SHE'S A WITCH!

13. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY.
SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GOD
 
14. DERPY WAS NOT THE MOST INTERESTING PART OF THIS EPISODE. SHE ISN'T EVEN THE SECOND MOST INTERESTING, OR EVEN THE FIFTH. SCREW YOU TOO.

15. HOW TO BUSINESS? WHATEVER THE EPISODE WAS FUNNY AND HAD COOL SONG, WHO CARES. ALSO IMPLIED ALCOHOL YAY!

16. LET'S PICK THE MOST OBVIOUS CHARACTER TO TEACH TO CHILDREN THAT READING IS COOL. TO THE POINT THAT SHE'LL STEAL.

17. THIS FELT LIKE THE MOST HARMLESS WAY TO SAY "TAKE THAT!" TO SHIPPERS, BUT THAT'S IMPLYING THE EPISODE WAS EVEN TARGETED TO THAT AUDIENCE ANYWAY, AS IF THEY WERE WRITING THIS EPISODE TO ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGE THIS SUBSET OF PEOPLE. HA. 

18. GODDAMNIT PINKIE PIE.

19. EVERYONE'S AN ASSHOLE AGAIN.

20. YES, RELEASE THE TIME-TRAVEL BIT AS A PROMO THEN HAVE THAT SCENE PLAY TWICE IN THE EPISODE! SAVE ON THOSE ANIMATION COSTS! 

21. DRAGONS ARE UNCIVILIZED BARBARIC ASSHOLES. STEREOTYPICAL TEENAGE BULLY ONES, ANYWAY. WHAT A WASTE OF POTENTIAL. DRAGON LORE: LOST.

22. THIS EPISODE WAS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. OKAY SPITFIRE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE PARTICIPATED WHEN THERE WAS A GOOD CHANCE THE WATER WOULDN'T GO TO CLOUDSDALE AT ALL, BUT EH. MAYBE SHE WOULD HAVE FINED RAINBOW DASH FOR FAILING AND WENT TO A DIFFERENT CITY TO DO IT INSTEAD OR SOMETHING, BUT NOTHING WAS IMPLIED SO HEADCANON EXPLANATIONS DON'T COUNT,

23. I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.

24. HEY ELEMENTS OF HARMONY EXCEPT APPLEJACK BECAUSE OF TIME AND TWILIGHT BECAUSE SHE'S SHERLOCK, LET'S RUIN OUR BEST FRIEND'S CAKE THAT HER EMPLOYERS MADE FOR THE COMPETITION BECAUSE SHE DESCRIBED IT WITH SUCH MAJESTIC ZEST WE HAVE TO TAKE GIGANTIC DESTRUCTIVE CHOMPS OUT OF THE CAKE NO MATTER WHAT! AND WE'LL DO IT BEHIND HER BACK! AND SHE'LL FORGIVE US EASILY ANYWAY. AND THEY END UP WINNING THE COMPETITION BY COMBINING EVERYONE'S DESSERT INTO A MONSTROUS MESS ANYWAY! 

25&26. CHRYSALIS IS ACTUALLY A TACTICAL GENIUS BECAUSE THIS GUY SAID SO. THE EPISODE WAS GOOD. EXCEPT MAYBE THE PART WHERE LOVE GENERICALLY SAVED THE DAY. I ALSO THINK THE IDEA THAT SHINING ARMOUR AND CADANCE'S LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER WAS SO GREAT IT OVERPOWERED CELESTIA MADE SENSE, BUT BECAUSE WE WERE NEVER SHOWN THE COUPLE'S LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER AND ONLY TOLD, WHILE THEIR ROMANCE WAS MERELY A FAIRY-TALE GENERIC ROMANCE LEFT THE IMPACT AND INTENTION OF THAT SCENE WEAK, LEAVING MANY TO INTERPRET THAT INDEED CELESTIA ISN'T POWERFUL AT ALL.

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1&2. PLEASE TELL ME "TWILIGHT FIXING THE PLOT BY HERSELF WHILE THE REST OF HER FRIENDS ARE EITHER USELESS OR NEGLIGIBLE" DOESN'T BECOME AN ONGOING THEME OF THE ADVENTURE-HEAVY PREMIERES AND FINALES.

3. THIS EPISODE GAVE ME A HEADACHE. ALSO UNFORTUNATE IMPLICATIONS.

4. CONSIDERING HOW THEY HANDLED OVER A BARREL I AM NOT SURPRISED THEY CHOSE THE EASIEST, LEAST DARING SOLUTION TO THE BULLYING PROBLEM.

5. WOW TRIXIE HAS REALLY WEAK MAGIC ON HER OWN. LIKE SERIOUSLY. EVEN A BABY CAN SERIOUSLY HARM SOMEONE IF THEY TRY REALLY HARD, BUT TRIXIE CAN'T EVEN IF SHE TRIED? IS MAGIC THAT COMPLICATED?

6. UNTIL SEASON FOUR HAPPENED, THE MOST WELL-WRITTEN, MOST FLAWLESS BEST EPISODE IN THE SERIES.

7. WOW ONLY ONE PONY'S AN ASSHOLE! GOOD IMPROVEMENT! ALSO SPITFIRE WAS WRITTEN WELL. YOU DON'T SHOW BIAS WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A MILITARY DRILL-SERGEANT GODDAMNIT. HOW YOU SUPPOSED TO RECRUIT THE BEST-OF-THE-BEST? NOT THAT THE WONDERBOLTS HAVE EVER SHOWN ANYTHING OF MERIT IN ANY EPISODE EVER, BUT STILL. WHY DOES RAINBOW DASH WANT TO JOIN THEM WHEN SHE'S ALREADY BETTER THAN THEM AGAIN? I WILL REVISIT THIS POINT IN SEASON FOUR. "IT'S A TWISTER" IS THE BEST LINE IN THE SERIES.

8. THIS EPISODE WAS AS UNIQUE AND GROUNDBREAKING AS ITS SONG. 

9. I'D BE OKAY WITH TWO SPIKE EPISODES AND NO RARITY EPISODE IN THE SHORTENED SEASON IF THIS EPISODE WAS ACTUALLY GOOD.

10. I ALREADY HATED THE CONCEPT BEFORE I WATCHED THIS EPISODE SO I AM TOO BIASED TO SAY ANYTHING REALLY. STILL, THEY NEEDED FAR MORE TIME TO EVEN CONVINCE DISCORD TO PRETEND TO REFORM, LET ALONE ACTUALLY REFORM LIKE THIS EPISODE DID. I LOVED DISCORD THE VILLAIN, BUT HAVING HIM SWITCH SIDES THIS FAST SERIOUSLY UNDERMINES HIS IMPACT AS A VILLAIN. HE DIDN'T FULLY TAKE THEIR SIDE UNTIL THE SEASON FOUR FINALE, BUT WE'LL GET THERE WHEN WE GET THERE.

11. HEY IT WAS BETTER THAN THE FOLLOWING EPISODE.

12. OUTSHINED BY THE SIMULTANEOUS SPIKE EPISODE. FOR SHAME.

13. I LIKED THE IDEA AND THE CONCEPT, TOO BAD THERE WAS ONLY ONE EPISODE TO DO ALL THIS IN. SONGS WERE CATCHY THOUGH. HOORAY ALICORN TWILIGHT?

-

1&2. APPLEJACK: "QUICK GUYS! WE NEED TWILIGHT T'SKEDADDLE OUT O' OUR GROUP BEFOR' SHE NICKS ALL 'EM PREMIERES AND FINALES FOR HERSELF FOREVEEEER!" BUT THEN TWILIGHT COMES BACK. RIP MANE FIVE IMPORTANT EPISODE PROMINENCE. I ALSO CANNOT WRITE COUNTRY.

3. WHO IS THE PONY OF SHADOWS? WHY ARE WE NEVER GOING TO KNOW? WHY HAVE THAT ENDSCENE ANYWAY!? RAAARGHGHHHH

4. IF DARING DO IS REAL, DOES THAT MEAN THERE ARE OTHER UNSUNG HEROES OUT IN EQUESTRIA WE KNOW NOTHING OF, AND THE WORLD IS ACTUALLY CONSTANTLY DOOMED AND BEING SAVED BY UNNAMED PONIES NOT OUR PROTAGONISTS, MAKING THEIR FEATS FEEL FAR LESS GRAND AND MAJESTIC AND CLIMATIC AS WE BELIEVED THEM TO BE? NO WONDER THOSE MANEHATTEN PONIES STILL ACTED RUDE TO ALICORN PRINCESS TWILIGHT. THEY MUST ALL KNOW SOMEONE. WHY DOES SHE GET THE RECOGNITION WHEN ALL THOSE GUYS DON'T?

5. MAYBE RAINBOW DASH SHOULDN'T BE FLYING THE ENTIRE TIME SHE'S GIVING THAT MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH TO SCOOTALOO. JUST SAIYAN.

6. WELL IF YOU'RE GONNA SHOVE SUPERHEROES IN MY FACE AT LEAST IT WAS ENTERTAINING.

7. IS FLUTTERSHY STILL A BAT? ARE WE NEVER GOING TO KNOW? WHY HAVE THAT ENDSCENE ANYWAY!? WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED AGAIN!? YOU STUPID LINGERING POINTLESS SHOTS!!!!

8. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. 
OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP 

9. THE BEST EPISODE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES.

10. WHY ARE THE WONDERBOLTS SO TERRIBLE? WHY DOES RAINBOW DASH LOOK UP TO THEM? WHY DOES SHE NEED TO LEARN TO BE LOYAL WHEN SHE'S SHOWN TO BE LOYAL SO MANY TIMES BEFORE? WHY ARE THE PONIES LEAST-FITTING TO BE IN THE OLYMPICS, IN THE OLYMPICS? DID NO OTHER PEGASUS REALLY WANT TO DO THIS EVENT AND BE IN THE SAME TEAM AS RAINBOW-FUCKING-DASH? WHERE IS THE RESPECT FOR HER!? WHAT THE FUCK!?

11. THE ONLY REASON THIS EPISODE IS LOVED IS BECAUSE OF WEIRD AL. UNTIL THIS MOMENT I DON'T RECALL PINKIE HAVING MUCH OF AN EGO AT ALL. SINCE WHEN ARE PARTIES SERIOUS BUSINESS? WAT. OKAY FINE PINKIE HAD GOOD CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT OTHERWISE, BUT INTRODUCING A FLAW OUT OF NOWHERE TO SOLVE IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT OK.

12. I WISH PINKIE, RAINBOW DASH, RARITY, AND APPLEJACK WERE TAKING CARE OF DISCORD AND NOT TWILIGHT AND CADANCE. AT LEAST UFP MADE AN ENTERTAINING EPISODE OUT OF IT.

13. THE STALLIONS THEY INTRODUCE TO BE LOVE INTERESTS HAVE THUS FAR BEEN VERY UNDERWHELMING. OKAY SO IT'S REALLY ONLY BLUEBLOOD AND TRENDERHOOF, BUT MY GOD ARE THEY UNDERWHELMING. PLEASE HAVE BETTER TASTE RARITY LIKE RAINBOW DASH I MEAN WHAT

14. NO.

15. MAN SWEETIE BELLE CAN BE SINISTER.

16. "THERE IS NO EVOLUTION IN EQUESTRIA, ONLY A LIST OF ANIMALS FLUTTERSHY ALLOWS TO EXIST." GOOD MORAL.

17. I AGREE WITH THE POPULACE. APPLEJACK IS NOT APPLEJACK IN THIS EPISODE, UNLESS WE GET INTO HEADCANONY-PARENTS-BEING-DEAD-JUSTIFYING-PARANOIA-THEORY OR SOMETHING SILLY LIKE THAT.

18. MAUD PIE, THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO MLP SINCE PINKIE PIE.

19. MAN SWEETIE BELLE CAN BE SINISTER. THIS EPISODE ALSO GAVE ME A HEADACHE. 

20. YOUR SONG WAS BETTER THE FIRST TIME AROUND, FLIM FLAM BROS.

21. THIS MORAL WAS BALLS-TO-THE-WALLS AWESOME. WAY TO REPRESENT THE NOT-ACTUALLY-DUMB STRUGGLING KIDS, RAINBOW DASH.

22. APPARENTLY TRADING PONIES IS LEGAL.

23. OKAY RARITY LEGIT FREAKED ME OUT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES. I DON'T EVEN REWATCH THIS EPISODE BECAUSE SHE LEAVES ME SO UNEASY. IT'S THE WAY THOSE GLOWING GREEN EYES ARE DRAWN, MAN. AGH.

24. YAY A GOOD SPIKE EPISODE! YES HIS DIGNITY DID GO INTO THE NEGATIVES, BUT HE MADE UP FOR IT BY SAVING THE DAY. GREAT MORAL. 

25&26. IT IS ONE THING TO REFORM DISCORD SO EASILY TO KNOCK DOWN THE STOCK OF HIS VILLAINY A PEG, BUT FOR HIM TO ACT SO NAIVE AND BE SO PREDICTABLY BETRAYED BY TIREK AS WELL REALLY DAMPERS HIS INITIAL APPEARANCE AS A VILLAIN. I NO LONGER SEE HIM AS INTIMIDATING AND CHAOTIC AS HE ONCE WAS.  ALSO COOL EXPLOSIONS AND MANE FIVE'S ONLY USEFULNESS BEING THERE TO SHOOT THE MACGUFFIN. OH WELL.

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1&2. WOW THE MOST INTERESTING WELL-WRITTEN VILLAIN SINCE DISCORD! I HOPE THEY DON'T RUIN THIS!

3. I GUESS THEY FORGOT WHAT TWILIGHT LIKED BECAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS OUT OF THE LOOP WHENEVER IMPENDING DOOM THREATENS EQUESTRIA.

4. JUST LIKE HOW APPLEJACK ALWAYS HAS EPISODES WITH HER FAMILY, WHY CAN'T APPLE BLOOM HAVE EPISODES THAT ISN'T ABOUT CUTIE MARKS? AT LEAST SWEETIE BELLE HAS OTHER PROBLEMS ALONG WITH SCOOTALOO. ALL APPLE BLOOM EPISODES ARE ALWAYS ABOUT CUTIE MARKS. WHY.

5. RAINBOW MAY HAVE COMMITTED ECO-TERRORISM FOR THE PETTIEST REASON EVER, BUT I CAN NEVER HATE AN EPISODE WITH SUCH A GLORIOUS AND HILARIOUS CRYING SCENE.

6. THIS WOULD BE A FILLER EPISODE IN A SERIES THAT'S ALREADY SUPPOSED TO BE FILLER IF IT WEREN'T FOR EPISODE 18.

7. FOR ONCE I LIKE HOW POST-REFORM DISCORD IS WRITTEN. ALL OF THE APPLAUSE TO YOU. THIS IS ALSO THE FUNNIEST EPISODE IN SEASON FIVE. ALTERNATE OPINIONS ARE WRONG.

8. GILDA WAS A BITCH BECAUSE SHE LIVED IN BITCHVILLE, SO WE'LL FIX GILDA AND BITCHVILLE BY LIBERATING IT IN THE NAME OF FRIENDSHIP AND RAINBOWS.

9. HA! I TOLD YOU I WASN'T LOOKING TOO INTO THAT MOMENT IN RAINBOW ROCKS WHEN LYRA AND BONBON WERE PLAYING THE PIANO! I KNEW THEY WERE BEST FRIENDS! AND YOU DOUBTED ME ALL ALONG!

10. I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THESE SPIKE EPISODES THAT KILLED HIS DIGNITY AND GAVE HIM ZERO CHANCE TO SHINE.

11. WE MUST APPEASE THE TODDLER-LEVEL MATURITY AMBASSADORS BY GIVING IN TO THEIR EVERY WILL! 

12. THIS JUST IN, PONY PALETTE SWAPS CAN ACTUALLY HAVE INTERESTING IN-DEPTH CHARACTER. MORE AT 11.

13. DID MLP JUST FEATURE AN EPISODE ABOUT SELF-HARM? WHAT?

14. ALL THOSE JOKES OF RARITY OPERATING SWEATSHOPS WERE TOTALLY OFF-THE-MARK. 

15. RARITY IS A BETTER AND MORE ENTERTAINING DETECTIVE THAN PINKIE PIE. MY LIFE IS UPSIDE-DOWN AND BACKWARDS. THE WONDERBOLTS CONTINUE TO BE TERRIBLE.

16. I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE'S FANFARE ABOUT COCO POMMEL. THE BREEZIES WERE MORE INTERESTING THAN HER. SHE'S NOT CUTE, SHE'S BORING. IF PEOPLE CAN THINK FLUTTERSHY IS BORING, THIS CHARACTER IS EVEN MORE BORING.

17.  I THOUGHT MLP WAS TOO OPTIMISTIC OF A SHOW TO EVER MAKE ME CRY, AND YET THE ENDING SCENE OF THIS EPISODE DID. WHAT A POIGNANT PERFORMANCE, PETER NEW.

18. I WAS REALLY TIRED AND OUT OF IT WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS EPISODE SO MY INITIAL REACTION WAS "WHUT!?" INSTEAD OF ALL THE HEARTWARMING CRYING PEOPLE THAT WERE SUPER PROUD OF THE CMC. I THOUGHT THEIR CUTIE MARKS WERE BADLY DESIGNED, BUT I'M USED TO THEM NOW. THIS IS LIKE A BETTER WRITTEN MAGICAL MYSTERY CURE, BUT I STILL LIKE BOTH EPISODES.

19. A GOOD PINKIE PIE EPISODE. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

20. THAT IN-SYNC SCENE BETWEEN PINKIE AND AJ WAS FAR MORE AWKWARD THAN FUN OR CUTE. MARBLE PIE IS NOT BORING FOR THE SOLE FACT THAT SHE'S BASICALLY A FEMALE BIG MAC. IT'S AN INTERESTING PARALLEL AND SUGGESTS THE RELATION OF THE TWO FAMILIES, MUCH TO THE CHAGRIN OF THOSE WHO SHIP THEM. 

21. THIS COULD HAVE BEEN YOUR ONE CHANCE TO SATISFY THAT ENDING SCENE OF BATS! AND YOU DIDN'T DO IT! WHY! THAT LINGERING SHOT IS FOREVER POINTLESS! GAH!

22. YOU WERE DOING SO WELL WITH THE OTHER DISCORD EPISODE. I DO NOT SEE WHY HE NEEDS TWO PER SEASON NOW. WITH SLICE-OF-LIFE, THE OBLIGATORY LUNA EPISODE, THE CMC EPISODES, THE FACT THAT CELESTIA DESERVES AN EPISODE MORE THAN DISCORD GETTING TWO, AND NUMEROUS OTHER THINGS THAT ALREADY OVERSHADOW WHAT A BORING EPISODE THIS WAS.

23. OKAY.

24. Y'KNOW THE FUNNY THING IS RAZZLE DAZZLE IS MORE INTERESTING TO LISTEN TO MORE THAN ONCE, WHILE "I AM JUST A PONY" IS ONLY AS POWERFUL AS THE FIRST TIME YOU HEAR IT OR AT LEAST ON SPORADIC REPEATS. THAT'S WHY GENERIC POP DOMINATES RADIO STATIONS AND NOT POWER BALLADS OR WHATEVER, UNLESS YOU PLAY "LET IT GO" A BILLION TIMES AND KILL EVERYONE.

25&26. THE FACT THAT I CONSIDER MIDNIGHT SPARKLE THE MOST INTERESTING AND FOREBODING VILLAIN IN THIS SERIES IS VERY SAD. STARLIGHT VILLAINY POTENTIAL = ZERO. ALL IS LOST FOR SPOTTO'S WISH FOR DECENT VILLAINS IN MLP. 

-

1&2. OH I SEE. STARLIGHT HAS NOW TAKEN TWILIGHT'S ROLE IN OVERSHADOWING THE MANE FIVE FOR IMPORTANCE IN THE BIG EPISODES. WHAT A GREAT DECISION. 

3. IF ONE MORE PERSON BRINGS UP THE FACT THAT RARITY COULD HAVE SEWN A POUCH FOR MAUD INSTEAD I WILL PUNCH THEM IN THE NOSE UNTIL IT BREAKS.

4. THIS APPLEBLOOM EPISODE IS STILL ABOUT CUTIE MARKS. THEY ALREADY HAVE THEIR CUTIE MARKS. I KNOW AN EPISODE LIKE THIS SORTA NEEDS TO EXIST, BUT WHY FOCUS IT ONLY ON APPLEBLOOM? IT HAS BEEN SIX SEASONS PLEASE GIVE APPLE BLOOM MORE VARIED EPISODES, EGADS!

5. THIS IS NOT A SPIKE EPISODE. IT IS AN EMBER EPISODE. SPIKE WAS NOT THE MAIN FOCUS. I WAGER HE WAS JUST A VERY HELPFUL SUPPORTIVE CHARACTER. CALLING IT A GOOD SPIKE EPISODE IS A LIE. I ALSO DO NOT WELCOME THE RETURN OF STEREOTYPICAL FRAYBOY TEENAGE BULLY DRAGONS THAT KEEP MISSING THEIR OPPORTUNITIES FOR GOOD DRAGON LORE. WHY DID NO ADULT DRAGONS PARTICIPATE IN THIS COMPETITION? YOU'D THINK THEY WOULD BE MORE FITTING THAN ADOLESCENT DRAGONS. OR ARE THEY ALL SO LAZY AND TOO BUSY SLEEPING OVER THEIR GOLD HOARDS THAT THEY DON'T APPLY? WHO KNOWS? THE SHOW NEVER ELABORATES SO WE CAN ONLY GUESS!

6. DID MY LITTLE PONY PORTRAY A CHARACTER ATTEMPTING SUICIDE? ALSO THIS IS MY "MAKE NEW FRIENDS BUT KEEP DISCORD" COUNTERPART FOR STARLIGHT THE BLEEEEHHHH PONY ALSO TWILIGHT IS WORST PONY CONFIRMED 

7. I LITERALLY FACEPALMED IN REAL LIFE

8. I HAVEN'T HEARD A PINKIE PIE SOLO SINCE A BILLION YEARS AGO 10/10 EXCEPT NO SCOOTALOO AS TINY TIM SO 9/10

9. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG

AND THE REST OF THE EPISODES WHENEVER THEY AIR! 

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