![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
CHAO NOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay so I tried to make an icon all "icon-ish" like not my usual style...
Did I succeed? XD (I used the most beautiful screenshot of Negima!? ever for it...xD)
Anyway, yeah...
I wuz hyper yesterday...
*cough*
Anyway, without further ado...CHAPTER 21! OH yes.
Yosh. XP
R-POTE: Sakurako/Nodoka
Did I succeed? XD (I used the most beautiful screenshot of Negima!? ever for it...xD)
Anyway, yeah...
I wuz hyper yesterday...
*cough*
Anyway, without further ado...CHAPTER 21! OH yes.
Chapter 21: Reunion
The lake was relatively quiet, as there were few animals that could be seen by the naked eye within the water. Chisame and her farm animals leapt into the water, besides those who hated water and spent their time doing stuff on the shore.
Ako had calmed down and was fulfilling her lifelong dream, to build a sandcastle. Of course at this time and era, toy buckets had not been invented yet, so the chick used shells, sticks, and other natural resources to create her very first sandcastle. She was happy, and almost forgot about the morbid incident that happened just short of twenty minutes ago.
”C’mon Kuu! You’re not a housecat, you’re a TIGER! Tigers SWIM!” Haruna was eagerly pulling the feline into the water.
Ku Fei struggled, wondering why a penguin was so strong, “No-aru! I hate the water-aru, and you can make me swim-aruyo!”
”Don’t make me FORCE you, Kuu!”
”If you force me I’ll eat you-aruyo!”
Haruna yelled, “Everybody jump at Ku Fei! GET HER IN THE WATER!”
The penguin’s call was unanswered though, as all the other animals were too busy doing their own thing. So the bird did what every animal would after something like this, throw the canary at the tiger.
“WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEELL!!!!” Kazumi yelled, but oddly enough the yellow bird did not hit Ku Fei.
The tiger watched the bird fly narrowly past her and into the water in the distance, so she jumped into the lake to retrieve the canary, “I’m not letting my lunch drown-aru!”
”Oops. I missed,” Haruna stated, “Oh well, it still worked!”
Meanwhile, Yuuna, who had awoken from being knocked out by the tiger, was a long distance away, sitting on the warm sand throwing stones into the lake. While several of the animals here had never seen the lake in their life, Yuuna’s whole life changed at this very same body of water, and it looked different than before. It was so much calmer, so much quieter; nobody would think that an otter massacre happened here so many months ago.
”Yuuna-san?” A voice squeaked out.
The otter turned around to see a seal also watching the lake with her.
”Ah, Nodoka! How you doin’?” Yuuna put her trademark grin, which isn’t really trademarked because about two other animals also did the very same thing.
”I’m fine. I heard what the beavers said about the last time they saw otters…those otters were your family, weren’t they?”
Yuuna looked back at the still lake, and then lay down on the sand, with her paws behind her head, “How’d you know?”
”I know you hate beavers, but all the otters I’ve met were pretty good at staying calm…”
”And why are we talking about this anyway? A lot of animals here tried to forget about how Kazumi pwned the beavers and are just having fun swimming, why don’t you?”
Nodoka chucked a shell into the water, “I lost a lot of seal friends here too, so just jumping into the water isn’t well…I don’t know, respectful?”
”That’s true…I also have a bad feeling of coming here…you know, just because this place feels tragic, and anywhere we go, something bad happens? Yeah,” added Yuuna.
”HEY! DON’T EAT THE GODDAMN FISH! I BROUGHT YOU HERE TO HELP ME CATCH FISH!” Chisame screamed across the lake, particularly to Haruna. The fox animal was now a human again.
Haruna grinned, “But I’m a wild animal, Chisame-chan! I’m not your farm animal!”
Chisame sighed and threw her fishing line back into the water, hoping for more success this time. After a few minutes, a bit of hope lit up the farmer’s eyes as she felt a tug from her fishing pole, she tried to pull up her catch. Unfortunately, what was at the end of her pole wasn’t a fish at all; it was a very familiar canary.
”What the hell?”
”Haruna threw me in the water, and I saw this worm just dangling in it, so I tried to eat it…eheh,” Kazumi explained.
Chisame took the bird off her hook and threw the feathered creature back into the water, “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!”
Setsuna flew into the air and swooped down towards the surface of the water. Her powerful talons grabbed a fish and she landed back onto the edge of the water, “For you, Ojou-sama!”
”Aha, thank you Secchan! But koalas don’t eat fish, you do! You’re so silly!”
”Oh…r-right. Then I shall find food suited for Ojou-sama!” Setsuna was about to fly off, but Konoka grabbed her leg.
”Don’t be silly again, Secchan! Stay here and play with me! Let’s listen to shells! They say shells tell you your fortune! Isn’t that exciting!?”
Setsuna thought, “I always thought it just sounded like the ocean, Ojou-sama, but whatever you say!”
”And really, stop calling me Ojou-sama! I’m getting mad at that!”
The crane started to apologize to the koala insanely fast, “Oh! I’m sorry for making you mad Ojou-sama! I’m really sorry. I give a thousand apologies Ojou—“
The koala covered the crane’s mouth with her paw, “Kono-chan.”
She then took the paw off.
”…K-Kono-chan…” Setsuna finally said.
”Now wasn’t that easy, Secchan!? Heehee!”
Chizuru was resting by the water, periodically drinking some of the fresh water of the lake. After her third drink, she noticed an odd taste in the water she had lapped up. She looked at the large body of water and it looked darker than before. Natsumi then jumped out of the water, coughing, and covered in something black.
”Natsumi!?”
”Ack…water…thick…hamsters hate…water…why’d I…go in…aghh…stupid bug…”
The cow looked worried, “Are you alright, Natsumi?”
”No I’m…n-not…accccck…kaaaa…occhh…”
”Uh, Natsumi?”
”Kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk…”
”…”
”Ack.” Natsumi fainted.
The cow put her warm smile back on as she nursed the hamster, but she couldn’t help to sweatdrop.
Yuuna chucked another rock into the water, but it sank a little slowly, which she found odd. Suddenly, a large kappa surfaced right in front of the otter, and jumped onto land.
”Trouble, de-gozaru!”
”Eh? IT’S YOU! THE EVIL KAPPA THAT KILLED MY WHOLE FAMILY AND CRIPPLED ME!”
Nodoka explained, “Um, I knew Kaede when I was living in Kappa Lake, and she never eats animals. She is not carnivorous…”
”Then tell me WHO KILLED MY FAMILY AND CRIPPLED ME!?”
”It was probably some humans, de-gozaru. In fact they’re hurting the lake right now. They’re pouring something thick and black into our beloved lake, de-gozaruyo!”
Chisame saw something across the lake, and did see some humans pouring what she believed was oil into the lake. Most of the fish were probably dead and that was why she couldn’t catch any, “GET OUT OF THE LAKE!”
Ku Fei immediately jumped out of the water, and half her body was covered in something black and sticky. It was hard for her to wash off, too, “Nooo! This is why I hate water-aruyo!!!”
Unfortunately, Haruna was stuck in the water. The oil was much too thick for her to even try to swim, and she was slowly sinking in the polluted liquid as if she was an animal trapped in tar, “AGH! I CAN’T MOVE!”
”Haruna!” Yue flew into the air and wrapped her talons around the penguin, but she couldn’t pull the water bird out and ended up jumping onto a nearby rock due to exhaustion.
Chisame ran towards the lake, passing by a tree which seemed to cover her since when she emerged from the tree, she was a fox. The now-canine farmer jumped into the water slowly trying to reach the sinking penguin. She finally got to the troubled bird and attempted to pull her out, but it was difficult to seemingly impossible. Yue jumped off the rock and tried to get Haruna out as well, and with their combined efforts they managed to yank out the penguin from her sinking doom. Haruna was completely covered in black, and most of Chisame’s body was completely dark as well.
”Wait, there’s someone missing…” Chisame thought, “Oh right, I threw Kazumi back into the water…who can’t swim…and now it’s covered in oil…WHERE IS SHE!?”
Yuuna silently volunteered to find the missing bird, who right now she greatly respected for making her arch nemesis explode. She jumped into the thick water and plunged into the lake which was very much in a crisis. Yuuna couldn’t see a thing deep inside the water but she felt something soft brush by her as she swam, and then turned and dived back towards that direction. Picking up the completely black canary from nearly the bottom of the lake, she swam straight towards the shore, almost out of breath.
They finally landed onto the shore.
”Agh…thanks for saving me,” Kazumi mumbled, lying on the warm sand, coughing.
Yuuna, despite being in horrible condition from the oil, grinned and made a ‘thumbs up’ with her claws, “You kill more beavers, I’ll save you more!”
”Er…”
Chisame, who was remarkably again a human, ran all the way to the other side of the lake, yelling, “YOU SON OF A (BLEEPS!)! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING TO THE LAKE!?”
”Oh, I’m sorry ma’am; we didn’t realize you were swimming in the lake…”
”THAT’S NOT IT! YOU’RE KILLING A BUNCH OF ANIMALS AND CONTAMINATING THE WATER WHICH GOES TO THE RIVER, WHICH I USE FOR MY FARM!” She was completely furious.
”Yes, well there are many other sources of water—“
The enraged farmer grabbed one of the men by the collar, “YOU STOP (BLEEPING!) POURING THAT CRAP INTO THE WATER AND I WON’T SIC MY TIGER ON YOU!”
”Pshh, like there are tigers in this area—“
”KUU!”
Ku Fei looked larger than ever to the humans pouring the oil into the lake, growling at them with her canines shown. She slowly approached the humans, and then suddenly leapt, causing the men to run off. This attracted the attention of two familiar humans before, who Chisame certainly knows.
”What’s happening here? Hello Chisame-kun!” Nagi Springfield said as he and his son walked towards the lake.
”Why are you covered in black stuff?” Negi asked.
Chisame pointed at the lake, refusing to speak after that encounter with the polluting men.
”Hmm, that’s not good,” Nagi started, “I suppose I’ll use my magic to clean it up.”
”You better. It can’t exactly bring the fish back alive, though.”
”Um, father?”
”What is it, son?”
”Those men…are pouring something into the lake over there” Negi pointed, all three turned their attention at those same people who Chisame had apparently chased off.
”I thought I…that’s it, I’m letting my tiger bite their heads off—“
Nagi stopped the farmer, “No need. This is a great time for my son to perform the newest spell I taught him…”
”Yes, father!” The child prodigy chanted something quietly, and then as he continued to recite his incantation, he started speaking louder:
”Ras Tel Ma Scir Magister…runnetio piggiousio!”
A huge amount of pigs appeared out of nowhere, and trampled the men who were pouring the dangerous chemicals into Kappa Lake.
”Er, Misora?” Haruna asked as she talked to a pig within the many pigs.
”I am not Misora! You must’ve mistaken me with another pig who must be named Misora, for I am the Mysterious Pig!”
Haruna continued, “Whatever, why are you running with the other pigs?”
”…all the cool pigs were doing it.”
Chisame looked at the large amount of pigs surrounding them, “What kind of STUPID spells do you teach your dumbass son!?”
”It’s a good spell! What if he’s stuck in the Sahara Desert and has no food at all? He can simply summon a lot of ham, pork, and bacon!” Nagi explained, grinning.
The pigs all started oink’ing at once, very much annoying the oil-covered farmer, “And why aren’t you getting rid of them?”
”I seem to have forgotten that spell…”
”…ugh, and I can’t believe you’re the famous ‘Thousand Master’…can I sell them all then? Or most?” Chisame asked, and was somewhat satisfied when the answer was positive.
Yue was standing on the rock, confused, “Hmm, it’s not very logical for numerous pigs to randomly appear out of nowhere, especially for them to run over the humans that were pouring something into the lake. Speaking of which, it also is quite illogical for all of the sticky substance within the lake to just disappear!”
”Of course it’s logical, Yue!” Haruna started, “It’s simple! We didn’t want that stuff in the lake, so it disappeared. We also didn’t like the humans who put that stuff in the lake, so that happened! In other words, one of us is…A GOD!”
”That’s ridiculous, Haruna!”
Kazumi, who was leaning on a tree, spoke up, “Actually it’s because of magi—mmmppfh!“ The canary could not finish as Chisame came and picked her up by the head. (ouch)
”We’re going back home, and I’m giving those who are dirty a good scrubbing since oil doesn’t come off easily,” The farmer said, now a fox…again. (These transitions may get confusing, xD)
”What about the fish, Chisame-chan?”
”Selling all the pigs will feed us all fine…anyway—“
”OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! HOLY (BLEEP!) OH MY GOD!” An otter started screaming rather suddenly.
The fox sighed, rather annoyed, “What now, you damned cripple!?”
Yuuna did not respond, instead she ran off towards the other side of the lake where there seemed to be other animals that emerged from what seemed to be a hole. All the animals decided to follow the rather excited water mammal, which was running quite fast towards the other side despite her handicap. Chisame, however, was still annoyed.
”Can you…let go…o-of me…already? Urk…” Kazumi mumbled from inside Chisame’s…mouth.
”Oh right,” and with that, the fox dropped the canary onto the ground.
Yuuna was like a lovebird running in a field of flowers towards her beloved sweetheart as she ran towards the other side, and as she grew closer, her presumption was right…
”DADDY!!!”
-
Kazumi: *announcing* And now for the first official omake of HFF, presented by…Ku Laozi!!!
Ku Laozi: Hello-aru! I’m here to teach all you kids many important lessons in life so you won’t make these mistakes later-aruyo! Today’s lesson is: Don’t touch electricity things when your hands are wet!
Kazumi: Erm, I believe the term is electrical appliances—
Ku Laozi: Shut up-aru! You’re not the one doing this omake-arune! Now this is what happens if you touch something zappy with wet hands!:
Yuuna: …do I have to do this?
Kazumi: Yes, you lost at strip poker.
Yuuna: God damnit. *clears throat* I have just finished making my hands wet on account of I had to do something which this script doesn’t seem to indicate! Now I wish to turn on the lamp so I am able to read “Military Butches—“ HEY! I DON’T READ THAT!
Sayo (director): QUIT YOUR DENIAL AND READ THE DAMN SCRIPT!
Kazumi: Sayo gets mighty different when she’s in that director’s chair…and it's sexy.
Yuuna: …so I am able to read this magazine. *turns on the lamp*
BZZZZZZZZZZT!!!!
Yuuna: AHFAFKAJGDLKKJDGBKJD! *faints*
Haruna (special effects dood): Hmm, that was more realistic than I thought it’d be…AWESOME!
Ku Laozi: See kids? If you did what silly Yuuna did, not only would you die, you’d be regarded as stupid-aruka! Now if you have wet hands and would like to touch an electric thingy, Ku Laozi’s advice is to USE YOUR FEET-ARUYO!
Ako: Uh… *presses lamp open with foot* Now to read “Nursing Femm—“ OI! I WON AT STRIP POKER! GIVE ME MY PRIVACY!
Haruna: That was the worst advice ever.
Sayo: Shut up, this omake went too long! GARR!
Ku Laozi: Now you’ll never be regarded as stupid, kids-aru! Byebye now-aruyo!
-
The first version was not funny at all, luckily I added stuff and edited stuff, and now it feels a bit better. Otherwise not much to say about this chapter than, yay! It’s Akashi! (I have no idea what his first name is so I just call him after their family name.) Oh and yes the omake did go for too long, I’ll make it shorter next time. WOOT!
One more thing, if you're confused at who Ku Laozi is because you forgot, it's Ku Fei's "wise" and bearded alter ego that sometimes appears in the manga or Negima!? XP (Maybe the first Anime too, but I don't remember)
The lake was relatively quiet, as there were few animals that could be seen by the naked eye within the water. Chisame and her farm animals leapt into the water, besides those who hated water and spent their time doing stuff on the shore.
Ako had calmed down and was fulfilling her lifelong dream, to build a sandcastle. Of course at this time and era, toy buckets had not been invented yet, so the chick used shells, sticks, and other natural resources to create her very first sandcastle. She was happy, and almost forgot about the morbid incident that happened just short of twenty minutes ago.
”C’mon Kuu! You’re not a housecat, you’re a TIGER! Tigers SWIM!” Haruna was eagerly pulling the feline into the water.
Ku Fei struggled, wondering why a penguin was so strong, “No-aru! I hate the water-aru, and you can make me swim-aruyo!”
”Don’t make me FORCE you, Kuu!”
”If you force me I’ll eat you-aruyo!”
Haruna yelled, “Everybody jump at Ku Fei! GET HER IN THE WATER!”
The penguin’s call was unanswered though, as all the other animals were too busy doing their own thing. So the bird did what every animal would after something like this, throw the canary at the tiger.
“WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEELL!!!!” Kazumi yelled, but oddly enough the yellow bird did not hit Ku Fei.
The tiger watched the bird fly narrowly past her and into the water in the distance, so she jumped into the lake to retrieve the canary, “I’m not letting my lunch drown-aru!”
”Oops. I missed,” Haruna stated, “Oh well, it still worked!”
Meanwhile, Yuuna, who had awoken from being knocked out by the tiger, was a long distance away, sitting on the warm sand throwing stones into the lake. While several of the animals here had never seen the lake in their life, Yuuna’s whole life changed at this very same body of water, and it looked different than before. It was so much calmer, so much quieter; nobody would think that an otter massacre happened here so many months ago.
”Yuuna-san?” A voice squeaked out.
The otter turned around to see a seal also watching the lake with her.
”Ah, Nodoka! How you doin’?” Yuuna put her trademark grin, which isn’t really trademarked because about two other animals also did the very same thing.
”I’m fine. I heard what the beavers said about the last time they saw otters…those otters were your family, weren’t they?”
Yuuna looked back at the still lake, and then lay down on the sand, with her paws behind her head, “How’d you know?”
”I know you hate beavers, but all the otters I’ve met were pretty good at staying calm…”
”And why are we talking about this anyway? A lot of animals here tried to forget about how Kazumi pwned the beavers and are just having fun swimming, why don’t you?”
Nodoka chucked a shell into the water, “I lost a lot of seal friends here too, so just jumping into the water isn’t well…I don’t know, respectful?”
”That’s true…I also have a bad feeling of coming here…you know, just because this place feels tragic, and anywhere we go, something bad happens? Yeah,” added Yuuna.
”HEY! DON’T EAT THE GODDAMN FISH! I BROUGHT YOU HERE TO HELP ME CATCH FISH!” Chisame screamed across the lake, particularly to Haruna. The fox animal was now a human again.
Haruna grinned, “But I’m a wild animal, Chisame-chan! I’m not your farm animal!”
Chisame sighed and threw her fishing line back into the water, hoping for more success this time. After a few minutes, a bit of hope lit up the farmer’s eyes as she felt a tug from her fishing pole, she tried to pull up her catch. Unfortunately, what was at the end of her pole wasn’t a fish at all; it was a very familiar canary.
”What the hell?”
”Haruna threw me in the water, and I saw this worm just dangling in it, so I tried to eat it…eheh,” Kazumi explained.
Chisame took the bird off her hook and threw the feathered creature back into the water, “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!”
Setsuna flew into the air and swooped down towards the surface of the water. Her powerful talons grabbed a fish and she landed back onto the edge of the water, “For you, Ojou-sama!”
”Aha, thank you Secchan! But koalas don’t eat fish, you do! You’re so silly!”
”Oh…r-right. Then I shall find food suited for Ojou-sama!” Setsuna was about to fly off, but Konoka grabbed her leg.
”Don’t be silly again, Secchan! Stay here and play with me! Let’s listen to shells! They say shells tell you your fortune! Isn’t that exciting!?”
Setsuna thought, “I always thought it just sounded like the ocean, Ojou-sama, but whatever you say!”
”And really, stop calling me Ojou-sama! I’m getting mad at that!”
The crane started to apologize to the koala insanely fast, “Oh! I’m sorry for making you mad Ojou-sama! I’m really sorry. I give a thousand apologies Ojou—“
The koala covered the crane’s mouth with her paw, “Kono-chan.”
She then took the paw off.
”…K-Kono-chan…” Setsuna finally said.
”Now wasn’t that easy, Secchan!? Heehee!”
Chizuru was resting by the water, periodically drinking some of the fresh water of the lake. After her third drink, she noticed an odd taste in the water she had lapped up. She looked at the large body of water and it looked darker than before. Natsumi then jumped out of the water, coughing, and covered in something black.
”Natsumi!?”
”Ack…water…thick…hamsters hate…water…why’d I…go in…aghh…stupid bug…”
The cow looked worried, “Are you alright, Natsumi?”
”No I’m…n-not…accccck…kaaaa…occhh…”
”Uh, Natsumi?”
”Kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk…”
”…”
”Ack.” Natsumi fainted.
The cow put her warm smile back on as she nursed the hamster, but she couldn’t help to sweatdrop.
Yuuna chucked another rock into the water, but it sank a little slowly, which she found odd. Suddenly, a large kappa surfaced right in front of the otter, and jumped onto land.
”Trouble, de-gozaru!”
”Eh? IT’S YOU! THE EVIL KAPPA THAT KILLED MY WHOLE FAMILY AND CRIPPLED ME!”
Nodoka explained, “Um, I knew Kaede when I was living in Kappa Lake, and she never eats animals. She is not carnivorous…”
”Then tell me WHO KILLED MY FAMILY AND CRIPPLED ME!?”
”It was probably some humans, de-gozaru. In fact they’re hurting the lake right now. They’re pouring something thick and black into our beloved lake, de-gozaruyo!”
Chisame saw something across the lake, and did see some humans pouring what she believed was oil into the lake. Most of the fish were probably dead and that was why she couldn’t catch any, “GET OUT OF THE LAKE!”
Ku Fei immediately jumped out of the water, and half her body was covered in something black and sticky. It was hard for her to wash off, too, “Nooo! This is why I hate water-aruyo!!!”
Unfortunately, Haruna was stuck in the water. The oil was much too thick for her to even try to swim, and she was slowly sinking in the polluted liquid as if she was an animal trapped in tar, “AGH! I CAN’T MOVE!”
”Haruna!” Yue flew into the air and wrapped her talons around the penguin, but she couldn’t pull the water bird out and ended up jumping onto a nearby rock due to exhaustion.
Chisame ran towards the lake, passing by a tree which seemed to cover her since when she emerged from the tree, she was a fox. The now-canine farmer jumped into the water slowly trying to reach the sinking penguin. She finally got to the troubled bird and attempted to pull her out, but it was difficult to seemingly impossible. Yue jumped off the rock and tried to get Haruna out as well, and with their combined efforts they managed to yank out the penguin from her sinking doom. Haruna was completely covered in black, and most of Chisame’s body was completely dark as well.
”Wait, there’s someone missing…” Chisame thought, “Oh right, I threw Kazumi back into the water…who can’t swim…and now it’s covered in oil…WHERE IS SHE!?”
Yuuna silently volunteered to find the missing bird, who right now she greatly respected for making her arch nemesis explode. She jumped into the thick water and plunged into the lake which was very much in a crisis. Yuuna couldn’t see a thing deep inside the water but she felt something soft brush by her as she swam, and then turned and dived back towards that direction. Picking up the completely black canary from nearly the bottom of the lake, she swam straight towards the shore, almost out of breath.
They finally landed onto the shore.
”Agh…thanks for saving me,” Kazumi mumbled, lying on the warm sand, coughing.
Yuuna, despite being in horrible condition from the oil, grinned and made a ‘thumbs up’ with her claws, “You kill more beavers, I’ll save you more!”
”Er…”
Chisame, who was remarkably again a human, ran all the way to the other side of the lake, yelling, “YOU SON OF A (BLEEPS!)! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING TO THE LAKE!?”
”Oh, I’m sorry ma’am; we didn’t realize you were swimming in the lake…”
”THAT’S NOT IT! YOU’RE KILLING A BUNCH OF ANIMALS AND CONTAMINATING THE WATER WHICH GOES TO THE RIVER, WHICH I USE FOR MY FARM!” She was completely furious.
”Yes, well there are many other sources of water—“
The enraged farmer grabbed one of the men by the collar, “YOU STOP (BLEEPING!) POURING THAT CRAP INTO THE WATER AND I WON’T SIC MY TIGER ON YOU!”
”Pshh, like there are tigers in this area—“
”KUU!”
Ku Fei looked larger than ever to the humans pouring the oil into the lake, growling at them with her canines shown. She slowly approached the humans, and then suddenly leapt, causing the men to run off. This attracted the attention of two familiar humans before, who Chisame certainly knows.
”What’s happening here? Hello Chisame-kun!” Nagi Springfield said as he and his son walked towards the lake.
”Why are you covered in black stuff?” Negi asked.
Chisame pointed at the lake, refusing to speak after that encounter with the polluting men.
”Hmm, that’s not good,” Nagi started, “I suppose I’ll use my magic to clean it up.”
”You better. It can’t exactly bring the fish back alive, though.”
”Um, father?”
”What is it, son?”
”Those men…are pouring something into the lake over there” Negi pointed, all three turned their attention at those same people who Chisame had apparently chased off.
”I thought I…that’s it, I’m letting my tiger bite their heads off—“
Nagi stopped the farmer, “No need. This is a great time for my son to perform the newest spell I taught him…”
”Yes, father!” The child prodigy chanted something quietly, and then as he continued to recite his incantation, he started speaking louder:
”Ras Tel Ma Scir Magister…runnetio piggiousio!”
A huge amount of pigs appeared out of nowhere, and trampled the men who were pouring the dangerous chemicals into Kappa Lake.
”Er, Misora?” Haruna asked as she talked to a pig within the many pigs.
”I am not Misora! You must’ve mistaken me with another pig who must be named Misora, for I am the Mysterious Pig!”
Haruna continued, “Whatever, why are you running with the other pigs?”
”…all the cool pigs were doing it.”
Chisame looked at the large amount of pigs surrounding them, “What kind of STUPID spells do you teach your dumbass son!?”
”It’s a good spell! What if he’s stuck in the Sahara Desert and has no food at all? He can simply summon a lot of ham, pork, and bacon!” Nagi explained, grinning.
The pigs all started oink’ing at once, very much annoying the oil-covered farmer, “And why aren’t you getting rid of them?”
”I seem to have forgotten that spell…”
”…ugh, and I can’t believe you’re the famous ‘Thousand Master’…can I sell them all then? Or most?” Chisame asked, and was somewhat satisfied when the answer was positive.
Yue was standing on the rock, confused, “Hmm, it’s not very logical for numerous pigs to randomly appear out of nowhere, especially for them to run over the humans that were pouring something into the lake. Speaking of which, it also is quite illogical for all of the sticky substance within the lake to just disappear!”
”Of course it’s logical, Yue!” Haruna started, “It’s simple! We didn’t want that stuff in the lake, so it disappeared. We also didn’t like the humans who put that stuff in the lake, so that happened! In other words, one of us is…A GOD!”
”That’s ridiculous, Haruna!”
Kazumi, who was leaning on a tree, spoke up, “Actually it’s because of magi—mmmppfh!“ The canary could not finish as Chisame came and picked her up by the head. (ouch)
”We’re going back home, and I’m giving those who are dirty a good scrubbing since oil doesn’t come off easily,” The farmer said, now a fox…again. (These transitions may get confusing, xD)
”What about the fish, Chisame-chan?”
”Selling all the pigs will feed us all fine…anyway—“
”OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! HOLY (BLEEP!) OH MY GOD!” An otter started screaming rather suddenly.
The fox sighed, rather annoyed, “What now, you damned cripple!?”
Yuuna did not respond, instead she ran off towards the other side of the lake where there seemed to be other animals that emerged from what seemed to be a hole. All the animals decided to follow the rather excited water mammal, which was running quite fast towards the other side despite her handicap. Chisame, however, was still annoyed.
”Can you…let go…o-of me…already? Urk…” Kazumi mumbled from inside Chisame’s…mouth.
”Oh right,” and with that, the fox dropped the canary onto the ground.
Yuuna was like a lovebird running in a field of flowers towards her beloved sweetheart as she ran towards the other side, and as she grew closer, her presumption was right…
”DADDY!!!”
-
Kazumi: *announcing* And now for the first official omake of HFF, presented by…Ku Laozi!!!
Ku Laozi: Hello-aru! I’m here to teach all you kids many important lessons in life so you won’t make these mistakes later-aruyo! Today’s lesson is: Don’t touch electricity things when your hands are wet!
Kazumi: Erm, I believe the term is electrical appliances—
Ku Laozi: Shut up-aru! You’re not the one doing this omake-arune! Now this is what happens if you touch something zappy with wet hands!:
Yuuna: …do I have to do this?
Kazumi: Yes, you lost at strip poker.
Yuuna: God damnit. *clears throat* I have just finished making my hands wet on account of I had to do something which this script doesn’t seem to indicate! Now I wish to turn on the lamp so I am able to read “Military Butches—“ HEY! I DON’T READ THAT!
Sayo (director): QUIT YOUR DENIAL AND READ THE DAMN SCRIPT!
Kazumi: Sayo gets mighty different when she’s in that director’s chair…and it's sexy.
Yuuna: …so I am able to read this magazine. *turns on the lamp*
BZZZZZZZZZZT!!!!
Yuuna: AHFAFKAJGDLKKJDGBKJD! *faints*
Haruna (special effects dood): Hmm, that was more realistic than I thought it’d be…AWESOME!
Ku Laozi: See kids? If you did what silly Yuuna did, not only would you die, you’d be regarded as stupid-aruka! Now if you have wet hands and would like to touch an electric thingy, Ku Laozi’s advice is to USE YOUR FEET-ARUYO!
Ako: Uh… *presses lamp open with foot* Now to read “Nursing Femm—“ OI! I WON AT STRIP POKER! GIVE ME MY PRIVACY!
Haruna: That was the worst advice ever.
Sayo: Shut up, this omake went too long! GARR!
Ku Laozi: Now you’ll never be regarded as stupid, kids-aru! Byebye now-aruyo!
-
The first version was not funny at all, luckily I added stuff and edited stuff, and now it feels a bit better. Otherwise not much to say about this chapter than, yay! It’s Akashi! (I have no idea what his first name is so I just call him after their family name.) Oh and yes the omake did go for too long, I’ll make it shorter next time. WOOT!
One more thing, if you're confused at who Ku Laozi is because you forgot, it's Ku Fei's "wise" and bearded alter ego that sometimes appears in the manga or Negima!? XP (Maybe the first Anime too, but I don't remember)
Yosh. XP
R-POTE: Sakurako/Nodoka