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SEASON ONE
Green Isn't Your Colour
The Cutie Mark Chronicles
Party of One

SEASON TWO

Luna Eclipsed
The Last Roundup
Hurricane Fluttershy
A Canterlot Wedding P.2

SEASON THREE
Sleepless in Ponyville
Magical Mystery Cure

SEASON FOUR

Pinkie Apple Pie
Maud Pie
 
SEASON FIVE
Make New Friends
but Keep Discord

Rarity Investigates!
Brotherhooves Social
Crusaders of the Lost Mark

SEASON SIX
The Gift of Maud Pie
Saddle Row Review
A Hearth's Warming Tail
Buckball Season

SEASON SEVEN
Rock Solid Friendship
Parental Glideance
The Perfect Pear
Fame and Misfortune
SEASON ONE
Bridle Gossip
Suited for Success
A Dog and Pony Show
Sonic Rainboom
The Best Night Ever

SEASON TWO
The Return of Harmony P.1
The Return of Harmony P.2
Lesson Zero 
Sisterhooves Social
Secret of my Excess
A Friend In Deed
It's About Time
A Canterlot Wedding P.1

SEASON THREE
Magic Duel
Wonderbolt Academy
Just For Sidekicks

SEASON FOUR
Flight to the Finish
Pinkie Pride
Simple Ways
Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3
Equestria Games
Twilight's Kingdom Pt. 1
Twilight's Kingdom Pt. 2

SEASON FIVE
The Cutie Map Pt. 1
The Cutie Map Pt. 2
Tanks for the Memories
Slice of Life
Amending Fences
The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows
Hearthbreakers
The Mane Attraction
The Cutie Re-mark Pt. 1

SEASON SIX
No Second Prances
Spice Up Your Life
Stranger Than Fanfiction
Every Little Thing She Does
Viva Las Pegasus

SEASON SEVEN
All Bottled Up
A Royal Problem
Triple Threat
It Isn't the Mane Thing About You
A Health of Information
SEASON ONE
Applebuck Season
Griffon the Brush Off
Dragonshy
Look Before You Sleep
Swarm of the Century
Winter Wrap Up

SEASON TWO
May the Best Pet Win
Sweet and Elite
Hearth's Warming Eve
The Super Speedy
Cider Squeezy 6000
Read it and Weep
Hearts and Hooves Day
Putting Your Hoof Down
Ponyville Confidential

SEASON THREE
One Bad Apple

SEASON FOUR
Castle Mane-ia
Bats!
For Whom the
Sweetie Belle Toils
Inspiration Manifestation

SEASON FIVE
Do Princesses Dream
of Magic Sheep?
Scare Master

SEASON SIX
28 Pranks Later
Dungeons & Discords
Where the Apple Lies
Top Bolt
To Where & Back Again P.1
To Where & Back Again P.2

SEASON SEVEN
Celestial Advice
A Flurry of Emotions
To Change a Changeling

SEASON ONE
Friendship is Magic P.1
Friendship is Magic P.2
The Ticket Master
Call of the Cutie
Fall Weather Friends
Feeling Pinkie Keen
Stare Master
The Show Stoppers
Over a Barrel
A Bird in the Hoof

SEASON TWO
The Cutie Pox
Family Appreciation Day
Baby Cakes 

SEASON THREE
The Crystal Empire P.1
The Crystal Empire P.2
Too Many Pinkie Pies
Apple Family Reunion
Keep Calm and Flutter On

SEASON FOUR
Princess Twilight Sparkle P.1
Power Ponies
Rarity Takes Manehatten
Three's a Crowd
Twilight Time
Leap of Faith
Trade Ya

SEASON FIVE
Castle Sweet Castle
Bloom and Gloom
The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone
Party Pooped
Canterlot Boutique
What About Discord?
The Hoofields and the McColts
The Cutie Re-mark Pt. 2

SEASON SIX
Gauntlet of Fire
Newbie Dash
The Fault in our Cutie Marks
P.P.O.V

SEASON SEVEN
Fluttershy Leans In
Forever Filly
Not Asking for Trouble
Discordant Harmony
Daring Done?
SEASON ONE
Boast Busters
Owl's Well That Ends Well

SEASON TWO
The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well
Dragon Quest
MMMMystery on the 
Friendship Express

SEASON THREE
Spike at Your Service
Games Ponies Play

SEASON FOUR
Princess Twilight Sparkle P.2
Daring Don't
Rainbow Falls
Filli Vanilli
It Ain't Easy Being Breezies
Somepony to Watch Over Me

SEASON FIVE
Appleloosa's Most Wanted
Princess Spike
Made in Manehatten

SEASON SIX
The Crystalling P.1
The Crystalling P.2
On Your Marks
Applejack's "Day" Off
Flutter Brutter
The Cart Before the Ponies
The Times They Are a Changeling

SEASON SEVEN
Hard to Say Anything
Honest Apple
Campfire Tales
 
more pointless rankings/statistics  )
 
originally posted Feb 28, 2013 
spotto: (Default)
I've talked to friends and read many posts about what is most important in their life. What matters to them the most; what truly resonates with their soul. A major one I see a lot from friends, internet, and society in  general since it's been a large issue for years and years is sexuality. The debate and fight to get gay marriage passed and the neverending plight to stop discrimination and hate that comes back the other way. There are other major social issues that I see over and over again as well since no matter how good it may seem on the surface compared to so many years ago, something like racial tension will always be around, lurking underneath an innocent exterior or blown right up and smashed into your face if someone massively influential happens to promote it. (We all know who I'm referring to here) Regardless, there are lot of these kinds of thing that people are very passionate about, and very passionate about making them right, making them better.

I have the fortune of not having much attachment to those kind of issues due to not running into much conflict. I guess the word a lot of people use is privilege. For instance, though I am Asian, specifically Chinese, not only do I not run into much racism at least as much as some of my other Asian peers is because I take up the majority of the Asian populace (that or Indian, I'm not entirely sure who has more population at the moment) and I happened to grow up in an incredibly multicultural neighbourhood. My area was so diverse, that there were more Asian people in my high school than white people. White people were the minority. I never really got flak for my race as I grew up. so I never was as passionate as many other less fortunate folk in terms of fighting it, and thus cannot understand to quite their degree their plights. 

I also have the fortune of living in a very liberal city, but not only that, growing up in a family where my brother came out as gay. Although the fallout of that with my family itself was not pleasant, I learned early on that there was no reason whatsoever to be bigoted to people who prefer one sex to another. I learned very early on thanks to my environment that people can like whoever they please and that's seriously not even the in the top ten of issues we should even be concerned about, but we have to because bigots will always exist and always discriminate. In a perfect world you would think most if not all people would be focused on issues affecting the entirety of the human race, such as global warming and its impact on humanity and their quality of life, or helping out those escaping from war-torn authoritarian countries. No, there's still this major debate that people need to care about who people love, and there's still this major debate about racism and sexism and all these other hot-topics that if we were all decent people would in a utopian society would not even be in a blip in our radar, yet here we are.

And it is an important fight that will likely be endless, but that isn't a reason to never fight, for if we never do, we will never improve. Many wonderful. outstanding individuals over many years have progressed us to where we are today, where slavery in its most traditional sense anyway, is no more in many countries, and everyone above a certain age can vote. Still, as important as these issues are, what really resonates with my soul and frankly in the large scheme of things isn't nearly as important as these issues is friendship.

Yet due to how I grew up, it has affected me very deeply. It's impacted who I am, what I like, who I befriend. It shapes my personality, my attitude, and my perspective. I don't think I've yet to run into anyone who is as moulded by this desire for friendship as much as I have, but again I don't know other people inside and out, so I can't be entirely one-hundred-percent sure. When I was very young. I was this small Asian girl about to start school. I remember how small I was because not only were there photos, but because for the entirety of elementary school and even middle school, I was the smallest person in class, bar none. It's possible I forgot a year where I wasn't and happened to be slightly taller than some other student who didn't stick around the school for long, but for most of it all I was the smallest. It's not hard to forget either. I remember one of my gym teachers referring to me and my other smol brethren as munchkins, and my best friend I made in primary school to this day had always nicknamed me shrimp. I am small, and people will not let me forget.

Before I continue let me repeat that I do have the memory of a goldfish, and for whatever sadistic reason it is in human nature for us to be more likely to remember the unpleasant memories over the good ones. Or it's possible I had a miserable childhood, but whatever the case, when I was in kindergarten I only remember making this one friend. We weren't that close since I don't even remember his name, and I don't consider him the first friend I made, since a kid and their family moved into the basement suite we rented out and she became my very very first friend. Still, due to that girl being two years my junior the first friend I made in school was this boy. My single memory of our friendship me as a young child crying uncontrollably hidden under the biggest, very much unsafe slide we had at the playground, and this boy who I assume was probably responsible felt bad and was trying to apologize or cheer me up in some way. I don't recall how. I only recall that it didn't work. He had to stay behind a year for whatever reason my smol child mind could not comprehend, and I moved onto the first grade.

The only thing I remember in all of first grade is that our school was so small some classes did not even have their own classroom. In first grade my classroom was in the gymnasium. That's it. That's all I remember. (In fourth grade my class was in a library until the portable classrooms were finished construction and then we moved there. There was another grade, probably second that was also in the portable classrooms, but I think we also had a legitimate classroom at one point too, so my memory is faint. Only reason I remember this is because I distinctly remember being super excited to have a Gameboy Colour of my very own with a copy of Pokemon Blue. I guess I made out my new fun toy to be too fun because someone stole it from my backpack not very long after. I never saw it again. D<)

Second grade though was when my friend who lived downstairs started school, and unlike me who made that one kid friend and her as a friend she found a clique right away. Unfortunately being different grades causes problems because she'd bond with these other kindergarteners, and I was two years older and then though I was her friend, she'd rather be with these other similarly aged peers. I remember this one time one of her friends had a birthday party, and I was upset because I wasn't invited. Of course I wasn't invited because I wasn't really close to her friend, but I thought since I was her friend and this clique was like, three people outside of me that we could get to all be friends or whatever and it wouldn't be bad if I joined them too. Or in other words I begged my friend's friend to invite me too, and it it worked, but I really wish I didn't do that, or at least it didn't work because that whole party ended up being very awkward. Still, that friend of mine who had this clique was still my friend probably due to our proximity of living spaces, so the year went by.

Third grade luckily I made a friend but the evils that were DIFFERENT GRADES continued because this friend was in the fourth grade. For whatever inane reason the school had this one BIG KID area reversed for ONLY the fourth grade kids. Keep in mind I was in a very small school, and it was called an Annex so it only went up to the fourth grade until you were shuffled over to a full-fledged big Elementary school that went from kindergarten to seventh grade. Some areas in the country, and well the world have a thing called middle school, which we didn't really have in my area, but that second elementary school was pretty much my middle school so when we get to that part I'm just gonna call it middle school anyway. Now obviously my fourth grade friend would of course want to be in this big kid area. All the other big kids were there. It was the cool thing to do, and hanging out with a friend a year younger than you may lead to kids making fun of you or looking down on you for not being in the cool reserved big kids area. I may never know my friend's reasoning, but she was my best friend this year. I never called the kid that had a clique my best friend, but I always referred to her as my first friend and someone I was close to. Third grade was the worst year of this school for me. My lack of any friends in my own grade was quite a disadvantage and this was the first year I experienced everyone's favourite past time in school, BULLYING! I also had the meanest teacher of all time in this year, and remember several times crying during the year of suffering.

Pull a seat and grab a cup of tea because I may be stuck in third grade for a while. During this tremulous year, I was one of two kids that caught head lice. Unlike the other kid who only had a little and thus, was probably caught from me, I had head lice all over my head. I had to have treatment and my hair cut quite short. This one girl bulled me relentlessly for this short hair. And I 100% know I am cis because despite being a super tomboy I seem to be very passionate about letting people know I was not a boy. I do not look like a boy. Fuck you for calling me a boy. Go the fuck to hell. This was not the first time this happened. For you see, I actually had a few friends outside of school that lived on my street. I had this older female friend likely already in middle school, and this boy a year younger than me who introduced me to THE NINTENDO 64 HOLY FUCK. We spent a lot of time bike-riding and playing video games. I am blessed to have spent time outdoors for my early childhood because let me tell ya the moment I got a computer and access to the internet the outside was a long gone memory. Anyway when that older female friend found out I had this friend who was a boy, all hell broke loose. She had this insane concept that boys and girls could not be friends. PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND. THIS IS AN ONGOING THEME. And told me if I did not de-friend this boy this instant, she would de-friend me. To make matters worse, she said the fact that I HAD a friend that was male meant I was TURNING INTO A BOY. I ran off crying. My dumb smol child brain believed that I was turning into a boy because of this, but also being one that is a dumb smol child, instead of defending my male friend or staying with that female friend I stopped hanging out with the both of them entirely. I lost two friends because of this stupid concept. That male friend of mine was probably super upset too, that poor child. However the best part of this terrible little incident is my very first friend came and comforted me while I was crying. 

And this whole choose one or the other kind of thing did not stop there. My best friend in school in the fourth grade and I also made this other friend as well. Now this may be relevant, but my best friend was white, and this new friend was native. So even though it seemed like we hung out with one another (we ate lunch together, I think?) my best friend would constantly bully my native friend. This was odd because I was not that close to the native friend. I'm quite sure it was my best friend that befriended her anyway. Or "befriended" I should say, but being the dumb smol child that I was, I did not defend my native friend. That's just as bad as doing the bullying yourself, but I guess at this point I wasn't willing to be assertive or helpful whatsoever because it's quite clear I have this desperation for friendship, and I'd do anything not to rock the boat and lose anymore friends. If given the choice to defend the poor kid being picked on or staying friends with the alpha female, my choice was to do nothing. Because I didn't want to invite more conflict. I feel pretty bad about those kids I did not defend though. I was not a strong person.

Finally, this friend I wanted to stay my best friend moved pretty much after the third grade. I was only friends with her for one year, and I did not help this other friend of ours, and it was all just sort of pointless now that I thought about it, how much I wanted to stay friends with her due to my inaction and thus enabling of her behaviour but perhaps if I did defend that third friend we would be friends instead. Even so that was not the worst part of this year. The teacher making me cry in front of my dad who berated me as I cried was not the worst part of this year. The losing of two friends due to an ultimatum was not the worst part of this year. Being horribly bullied by this girl with head lice was not the worst part of this year. I had a fallout with my very first friend. I felt like she was bossing me around and I was just letting her, and being submissive so I don't lose her as a friend and so did whatever she wanted, whatever she said. I don't recall what exactly caused us to fight, but I stood up for myself for the very first time and it blew up, and this first friend of mine stopped being my friend. We had this feud, this grudge. Every time I walked by she would turn her head and huff, and to have lost all my friends in the span of one year, including my first was a crippling blow. It only further fueled my desperation for friendship, but not only friendship. True friendship. It's not as if this first friend was terrible or toxic because I do remember the fond memory of her supporting me when I was crying, but well, the moment I tried to be independent, or how I felt like I was being bossed around was the moment I lost her.

Anyway I fucking hated third grade, but yay for fourth grade! I may have entered it friendless, but there was this new kid in class. And we became friends pretty much the moment I met her, and she was the one who always called me shrimp and stuff. Unlike all these other friends who were all different grades, weren't even in my school and of different ages, and not someone I clung to or put on a pedestal or whatever, this friend was my peer of my same grade, and she would pick on me a lot. But friendly picking. Like, the first friend where we can make jabs at each other and not step around egg shells. She has been my friend since fourth grade and is still my friend. Of course at this point I was sort of broken, like friendship is SUCH A HUGE ISSUE FOR ME NOW that it eclipsed everything else. Most people would say the point of school is not only for academics but also to become socially intelligent as the years go by. How to treat other people, how to make friends, all that stuff that is healthy for the human psyche. Yet I put all my buns in that second basket, and so my grades were always average except that one weird year I was top of the class for math somehow. I felt like the KING OF THE WORLD and was DESTINED TO BECOME A DOCTOR, but I digress. For anyone reading who knows of my planned trip to California next year, this friend, also known as Tofumold or some other food-related name will be coming with me. However she has never been an affectionate person and doesn't have this friendship complex like I do, so I started having these expectations like "I wish I had friends that would hug me! Because on TV friends hug!" and other such things. She doesn't do that. So while she is my very best friend since childhood, my years of struggle with friendship before this year gave me these humongous expectations to find these ideal friends cartoons like to feed me. Who are these perfect friends that are always on television!?

Also at the same time all this regular grade school stuff was happening, I was enrolled in a Chinese school that took place every Saturday since I was four before I even started regular school. I never made a single friend in this school. I was extremely bitter about this, and though I mentioned being bullied in third grade, the first time I was actually bullied was when I was four by other fellow four-to-five year olds. Like what the fuck? Kids still have souls at this age do they not!? Anyway my lack of friends gave me an incredible lack of motivation to do anything at this school let alone learn, and I was a pretty terrible student. Around tenth grade I outright refused to go back to the school, I was so fed up. In hindsight the idea of being in this school to retain my knowledge of my own native language was very important because of how many people that spoke the language and lived in the area, but I also understand why I never retained it and never managed to learn much of anything. My mindset was so stuck on this whole friendship thing, this thing I wanted so much but struggled so hard to obtain and when I did, to keep, and if I did keep was it even sincere in the first place? This insecurity struck with me my entire school life, and its remnants still remain with me to this day.

So anyway fifth grade came around, we were off to a new school to the wonderful experience that is middle school. Or the years of my school where douchebaggery was highly contagious and infected most if not everyone including myself. Bullies everywhere! IT'S TRUE! MIDDLE SCHOOLERS ARE SOULLESS HUSKS OF A HUMAN BEING! In an effort to not be at the bottom of the social ladder with my friend, there was this probably mentally handicapped kid with a speech impediment that everyone made fun of. We were not exceptions and it was not a proud moment of my life, but just like all the other times of inaction and trying to be with the majority to not stand out and all that kind of jazz it was a thing I did. School feels like this whole dominance kind of thing where followers will always look towards the strongest alpha student, follow their ways to not be seen as weak and thus be picked on by the populace. It's like survival of the fittest; savage animals trying to stay alive. That's why bullying is such a difficult issue to solve, and sometimes the only way to fix it isn't any sort of the safe, peaceful methods the faculty or parents always attempt, like ignoring the bully or telling a teacher or whatever. Those never work. The only time I've seen someone successfully fend off a bully was to stand up for themselves and punch them back, even if they are also suspended or even the only one suspended because of how backwards school rules are. My god, school is like prison. I've always heard to earn respect or to keep yourself from being a target is even if someone fights you, you must fight back. You can't run to a prison guard or try to hide or anything of the like. Even if you lose the fight horribly, as long as you stand up for yourself people will respect you. THAT'S SCHOOL. Can't tell a teacher, can't be a snitch! You're gonna get punished for being in the fight regardless of who initiated! AND YOU WILL BE BEAT UP ANYWAY. Survival of the fittest everyone.

Around this same time I made some friends! Yay! A few female friends and people I even invited to a birthday party. I even had this silly game I had with one of them where we'd grapple our hands and try to push each other like we were sumo wrestling or whatever. I remember fond memories of eating dried noodles from its package and people playing Pokemon cards, Yu-Gi-Oh, and soon even Beyblade. The trends were here! Of course during said birthday party all hell broke loose. I'm being melodramatic probably, but I'm pretty sure I cried at most of my birthday parties. Or at least was not particularly happy about them. Maybe I'm just a sensitive little bitch, who knows. But the one year I remember this being very warranted. One friend I made was like another one of these alpha females. I don't know why I keep calling them this, but it's like this one girl I befriend who is bossy and I always listen to and such. They command the room. They are the leader. Anyway I have this male cousin of mine, two years junior who I was very close to over the years. The markup of my family tree is sort of complicated but essentially we were the only people in our family of similar age, and everyone else was either just being born, or was not born, or was way older than us (including my brother who is over seven years my senior) so I became fast friends with him and he is a huge influence of my life. He introduced me to LF2 and Negima a few years down the line (attempted to introduce me to Re:Zero but after the debacle that was Negima I learned better >_>) He also had like every game console in existence. I remember playing games on his PS Classic like Worms and Gundam, on his PS2, his PS3, his PS4, his Nintendo 64, his Gamecube. He introduced me to Smash and is just as passionate about it as Souless is. (He once brought a CRT TV to a BOAT so he could play Melee properly with his friends. On a boat. Like don't even get on a boat to be on a boat, go on it to play Melee! To be  fair his father was a fisherman so he probably had been on boats most of his life, but still!) I also got him to play Soldat for a few years. It was nice.

So yeah, when this happened a fucking third time, there was no longer inaction or fear of losing a friend. Because my alpha female friend I had made this year was appalled that I had this male cousin who was my friend. She was like NO BOYS ALLOWED! She and the other (female) friends I had invited to the party locked themselves in MY OWN ROOM declaring it a BOY-FREE ZONE, and instead of joining them all I was outside the door with my cousin who was crying. FUCK. THESE. PEOPLE. This was MY birthday party. That was MY room. And this was MY cousin who I had been close to for YEARS! I didn't care that ALL OF MY FRIENDS were in there with her. I STAYED WITH MY COUSIN. I was so angry! I was so appalled. WHY IS THIS CONCEPT OF MALES AND FEMALES BEING FRIENDS SO TERRIBLE? We were EVEN related! I don't even! Holy fucking shit! 

And you know what? I defended my cousin and didn't lose any of my friends. Not even my alpha female friend.

Of course she moved away a year later. If it had gone down similarly to previous incidents, I may have lost friends and then the one I would have kept would have moved away anyway. I avoided this happening a second time by defending my cousin. We also made some male friends at school we'd play a form of tag with all the time, but we were always the ones chasing them so I assume no one wanted to pick that role and we were willing to be the sharks to try to eat them because we were not particularly high on the social ladder at school. I remember very little of sixth grade aside from not being fond of the teacher, but outside of school it was around this time my first friend moved away and another kid, a boy a few years my junior moved in. We became fast friends, played LF2 and NHL 97, and for a brief period of time this other kid in the neighbourhood played those games with us too. This was also around the time I got my first hamster, and I think I influenced HIS life quite a bit because we really enjoyed manhandling these hamsters (I know better now, lol. Imagine if my parents had any presence in my life during these times of turmoil how different this would all be) and when he finally moved like 90% of my friends do he got himself his own hamster. I got a boy to like hamsters. Cute. He also played Beyblades with me and it seems like though I struggle to keep female friends, I always find similar hobbies and interests with this guy friends and always actually DO stuff together. This never seemed to be the case with most of my female friends. Luckily my very best friend also enjoyed video games, so there was that to bond over. Alas I do not remember much else of this year, so moving on to the seventh grade which i do remember quite a bit.

During this year, we made friends with these two boys that sat at our same table. I actually knew one of the boys for a long time to the point that my family would be like "OH IT'S SPOTTO'S BOYFRIEND!1!" playfully or whatever, but only became friends this year. What's amusing to me is that the OTHER boy actually confessed to my best friend at the end of the year. She didn't recuperate, but that's sort of interesting. I only stayed friends with the boys, but one thing that truly touched me is on my birthday I was given this sketch of myself with a little doggy (because I loved dogs a lot!) and balloons everywhere out of the whim. I still have that drawing on my wall to this day and it is my favourite birthday present ever. I did not have to invite him to my birthday party to get a present. He just did it just because. I wonder if he too liked me beyond friends, but idk. I was still struggling with friendship and my brain was wired that boys and girls could be friends that I never really thought about romance whatsoever. I was a smol child with a smol child brain. Pretty sure I still have a smol child brain now too. 

Anyway it was a generally happy year except that one time I threw up in front of the class during quiet time and got relentlessly picked up by this asshole jock. I also remember this year (or was it the last?) where the popular girl made me do her homework. YAY MIDDLE SCHOOL! But still, I had close reliable friends who I didn't feel like were just friends just because, but people who really cared about me. This was the year I was king of math. Is there a particular reason for that? I don't know. But I think I do better in academics when I'm not flailing about drowning trying to make friends. For once in my life, I felt stable. I had a good friendship with the boy that lived downstairs, and spent lots of time with him and this other kid. I was friends with the kids at my table. My best friend was still here. This was not a year where I yearned for friendship. I had it.

Then everything changed when high school attacked. 

Luckily me and my best friend went to the same high school but due to where our school was located and where people lived, basically everyone at our grade split off to four different high schools. I never saw those boys again. In high school we did end up making some friends... all female. it was a very large clique with say 8-10 people, but due to my everlasting status of being near the bottom of the social ladder and my friendship complex, me and my best friend were not anywhere close to alpha female position, let's just say. I had this desire to make more friends, but CLOSE friends just like with my best friend. But in a clique there's usually even more inner cliques. Two girls will be best friends and do all the stuff together. Same with these other two girls. I came into this clique with my own best friend already, but we weren't all in the same classes ALL the time. And these friends of mine were closer to these other girls probably because they didn't put each other on pedestals or have clingy friendship complexes, so it was difficult to really grow close. I liked the girls that were nicer to me and such, but even then. It was also at this time my time on the internet went on a rise and I found friends online. Online friends who shared VERY close interests to mine since we could communicate over long distances and I didn't know anyone in my school with very similar interests. Due to such, I grew much more closer to these internet friends. I think the most significant of these were the BIFF. Today, only two of the BIFF remain but they have become ultra close friends with me especially Akira, and now I've learned that best friends are few and far between, but will always be there with you. It's not all about having sixty thousand friends and expecting them to all be as devoted as the few.

Akira is the other friend coming down to SFO with me! Let me talk about the internet friends too! We all bonded over Beyblade. Obviously no female friend of mine in high school gave two shits about Beyblade, so the internet was all I could turn to. Unfortunately my best friend who I do share interests with we always sort of miss that interest by a few steps. Like how she prefers RPGs and I prefer shooters, or how she likes Yu-Gi-Oh and I liked Beyblade. We were close! SIMILAR GENRES EVEN, but no cigar! Only the internet could solve this everlasting problem, and solve it did! I began writing stupid stories on crack about Beyblade characters and made friends in the fanfiction community. I had been writing as a hobby since I was like nine on my brother's ancient laptop, so it was not unfamiliar territory for me. Since making friends was SO rad to me I became very attached to these people like I knew them in real life, even if all we had was Beyblade. But once that interest faded, a majority of them faded as well because we didn't really do anything else nor have similar interests otherwise. It was more like a club that liked this one thing, and once people left the club because they weren't interested, it was no more.

No hard feelings or anything... well except this one incident where one of our club blocked us all of sudden, and I foolishly, like the foolish desperate clingy person I was, tried all I could to at least COMPREHEND why someone would do this. Since she really only blocked me, I reached out through another friend, and talked to her. She dodged all our questions and then proceeded to block everybody. I could never understand, but one of my friends told me to let it go. So I did. It was a difficult decision, but to be fair I did step on her toes by not respecting her decision to exit from our lives by trying to reach her beyond her powers that be. I still don't understand, to this day.

Back to high school though, and I don't really feel like splitting it by year so we're just gonna have one giant blurb about high school in its entirety. Since I was closer to my internet friends and couldn't truly reach over to these high school friends, I began having the same problem I did with my very first friend. Where they would do things and not invite us, or only invite us if no one else was able to go. One of my friends gave me ample advice when she realized my little friendship complex. Don't do things for other people before doing things for yourself. I don't remember the exact quote, but basically I was so eager to please i never really thought about my own self considering my very average grades and all, and just tried to do whatever I could to stay friends with people. It's a theme of my life, man. I also had one friend I made some year later (Grade nine? Egads I remember nothing) who I found rather obnoxious, but she was probably the type of person I should have stayed friends with over several others because no matter how much I expressed to her that she was annoying, she was still very accepting and friendly to me. I wish I stayed friends with her. She was one of those people I felt would be one of those once-in-a-lifetime friends if you gave them a chance, but I sadly did not.

There was also one year, later on maybe in junior or senior, where there was this friend who was basically Pinkie Pie in real life. She had ALL OF THE FRIENDS and was nice to ALL of the people, including me, so low on the social ladder! I really wish I could have been a closer friend to hers, but because she had so many other friends it was a nigh impossible achievement. There was also one year where I suffered some of the worst bullying. In sophomore these girls were transferred to our school and she would not stop at anything to call me names or throw pennies at me because I looked like a poor kid. (I wasn't actually that poor in terms of the school. I was just not one who found importance in appearance so I kind of looked like someone who didn't care and was more, let's say, homely than other kids. Or if you wanna bully me too, you could call me a hobo! Because I looked like a hobo. Gee I wonder if my parents had more of a presence in my life I wouldn't always dress up like a hobo to school) 

Back to the internet that I was increasingly spending more time on because I felt so much more accepted on there. Also they can't see me, so they can't tell me I look like a hobo! After discovering LF2 and playing so much of that game, I found another game that this website covered too called Soldat. Alas my friend I spent oodles of time playing games with who lived downstairs moved away, but I immersed myself in Soldat. I found many friends, a clique that in video games called a "clan" and got to see these same people in these same servers over and over again. We had fun, fun times shooting each other in a competitive environment. Though again like the Beyblade days many of these people faded away, there were some I stuck by for a very long time and still talk to today. We call ourselves Spectral Infantry, but I think I'm the only one that does that now because Discord exists and nobody cares about the clan name and my Teamspeak is dying. Regardless, it's not the name that is important, just like the name BIFF was never really important. (It stands for Best Internet Friends Forever. I hope that is the case with the two I am still friends with lolololol) but the people that still stick around. Also obviously a majority of these friends are guys. Because all the guy friends I've ever made friends with NEVER antagonized me for being friends with them despite being a girl, or never purposefully excluded me because if they want to spend time playing say, Path of Exile when I do not even play that game who am I to feel excluded? I don't play that game. It was a lot more transparent I guess. I felt more stable amongst them. My ability to friendship was finally levelling up, but those back at school were as stagnant as ever. The same feelings, the same kind of inevitable conclusions.

It's very important to not only share interests but share hobbies when it comes to friends. Video games were the thing that kept me going with these people. On the other hand, though I share less interests and hobbies with the few female but true friends I have left to this day, I still feel very close to them because we bonded on an emotional level. We understand each other, and we will be there for one another. Both of these have taught me that I do not need to be doing a thing with a person 24/7 to stay friends with them, or trying to be complacent to keep as many friends as possible because only the important friends are the ones that you really need to keep. The ones that will keep you going and motivated like they do me. At the end of high school, the one friend I became closest to outside of my best friend, who gave me a handmade birthday card out of nowhere, encouraged my graphic design and caused me to win the grade-wide competition, and actually gave me HUGS what the fuck, brutally chastised my appearance throughout high school with the harshest words possible over the internet. I blocked her immediately and we are no longer friends. It was one of the worst friendship breakups I have had, on par with my very first friend,. People who were there for me but obviously had some sort of pent up issue with me that the first sign where either I mentioned something or I was out of frame physically they unloaded their frustrations with me. Why couldn't they be honest from the get-go? I guess because I was a sensitive, eager, clingy person with a friendship complex, and the moment any conflict arises could be the end of it all, like it was. But it always blew up in the end because of it. It always ended friendships.

It always hurt.

And now the consequences.

I have had a pretty terrible year in terms of loss and family and pain, but in terms of PHYSICAL pain I went through several dental treatments to get my teeth fixed. Root canals, crowns, and surgery. Oddly enough despite all of those things I mentioned, the worst pain was the first cleaning I had after several several years. Because my teeth were so bad I was very sensitive to temperature so any cleaning felt like the absolute worst. Somehow cold air was worse than giant pointed steel needles being stabbed into my gums. I also buy separate shampoo and conditioner now, and pay for my own toothpaste, floss, mouthwash and toothbrush because my parents cheaped out and always bought the crappiest toothpaste possible, the cheapest 2-in-1 shampoo, and really all the other tools that though I do not blame for why I've had self-esteem issues certainly contributed a small part to it. Oh and I started buying some of my own clothes because throughout all of high school it was hand-me-downs all the way down, and since I was a tomboy I rejected 50% of it. So i kept wearing very old clothes that started getting tattered. My money at the time was going into things that were more important, like computers and video games. THUS THE HOBONESS! 

But the other consequence was where my interests ending up lying. I was so in need of friendship that every single thing I've ever watched, friendship was the most important issue to me. My very first OTP, ship as it were that I blame the whole Beyblade fanfiction community for getting me into, was KazumiSayo. See my icon? STILL KazuSayo. They are relatively minor characters in the grand scheme of Negima, but for what they had I enjoyed them immensely. Kazumi I saw as a role model because she wasn't a character that really developed per-say. She was kind of ideal from the get-go. She did not care about being in cliques or being friends with a cast herd. When the manga started she was in no cast herd, she was alone. And she was fine with it. She was still confident, still spunky, still had the best voice, still was extremely attractive despite such. (How do attractive people not attract friends?) and was very kind.

Then Sayo came along. Sayo was a ghost who had been alone for like some ridiculous amount of time, like sixty years. No one could see her until her teacher just happened be a wizard. Then when her existence was exposed, it was Kazumi who befriended her. Now at first I wondered why Kazumi of all people befriended her. I could see it in terms of practical reasons, like Sayo being a ghost would be ideal for Kazumi's need for intel, what with being an aspiring journalist and all. Meanwhile Sayo's need for a friend is extreme because she has been alone for sixty years and she hasn't become a batshit insane murderous ghost yet. Kazumi gives her this need. in terms of who is giving more and who is receiving more, it looks one-sided.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that the most healthy and best relationships are when two people improve one another, and while Sayo who I essentially related to since she desperately needed a friend will become a better, more whole person thanks to Kazumi, what does she serve for Kazumi beyond the practicality? Does she make Kazumi a better person? At first I believed maybe Kazumi might be susceptible to becoming the stereotypical yellow journalist who would do anything to get a story. She did toy with the idea with exposing magic to the world, but it wasn't difficult to convince her to keep it under wraps despite such a story being an ample opportunity to launch her career straight into the moon. She also mentioned when she first became friends with Sayo that letting the world know of the existence of a real live ghost would also land her in prime territory to be one of the most renowned journalists out there, yet she is the one that convinces herself not to do so because that would be unfair and plain mean to Sayo, who does not need the attention of the world right now. She does not need to be a zoo exhibit or to be experimented on by scientists or studied, she needs a friend. That's exactly what Kazumi provided. I suppose Sayo fills out the role of keeping Kazumi in check. She was a wildcard for a moment when some members of the class opposed Negi's side of the battle, and Kazumi for a while was working for the supposedly "evil" side (it was more like a huge moral dilemma and no one was painted as an irredeemable bad guy, but still) but once context was given to Kazumi she switched sides pretty easily.

But still, their relationship served to fuel my need for a friend. One who for no reason would be your friend. Like a dog! I love dogs. I always wanted one but it was never right to ever get a dog due to their upkeep and price. Dogs are those kinds of unwavering companions that no matter what will always be loyal. No matter who you are or what you look like. That's why I loved Kazumi and Sayo so much. I saw this character who I looked up to, wanted to be like who gave unconditional support to this ghost character, who needed it above all else and overlooked her own ambitions to do so. It was a heartwarming friendship I wanted out of anyone at all. Still, it didn't serve the ideal kind of friendship I was looking for where the two characters could help one another to be better people.

Touhou came along to bring with it oodles of odd female friendships. I am very attached to female friendships as you can see. With guys, it's just play video games with them to bond because competition or whatever. I even watched Beyblade to figure that out too. But I could not figure out female friendship. I had such a hard time retaining female friends. I've run into so many problems and incidents involving all of that, so my interest was very high for how media portrayed female friendship. That's one of the many reasons I jumped between so many favourite characters and thus so many different OTPs in Touhou. So many different depictions of friendship and devotion! I loved it! One of my first favourites was Murasa and Nue. Unfortunately at the time they were in one of the less popular cast herds, so finding anything notable and meaningful that portrayed the two was a bit of a challenge. The depiction they usually got was that Nue was alone and sort of excluded from the main cast herd that being the Myouren Temple because she was a bit of a prankster/troublemaker. And she felt she needed to be alone (also she was sealed for like several hundred years) but secretly she wanted some form of companionship. Murasa was the usual person she'd  be paired with for that companionship. I remember reading this touching doujinshi where Nue is all self-conscious and stuff, gets attacked by some scumbag humans (not that humans ARE scumbags but these guys tried to kill Nue when she never provoked them, so... ) and they involved one of the legends associated with Nue in the conflict. The nue was shot down by some famous guy (I forget his name) by either his amazing enchanted bow, or he was so amazing he could shoot down mystical youkai like nues. So this guy that was trying to kill Nue had this bow and that guy's name too, so even though youkai usually very easily overpower humans this was not the case here.

Anyway Murasa pops out of nowhere and takes the arrow for her. It's treated as very melodramatic because Nue acts like Murasa is dying even though youkai can brush off such physical injuries plus Murasa is ALSO a ghost and ALREADY kinda of dead anyway, but yeah, this relationship was kind of like KazuSayo to me. My favourite character at the time was Murasa, who was portrayed as this badass ghost pirate captain who was very confident. She had a pretty depressing backstory too, but it wasn't given much detail thus that one story I wrote up about her history. This story serves to teach Nue that no she is not alone, and she doesn't have to feel like an outcast among the cast herd she is associated with. Murasa though I don't see what she learns or how she becomes better by being friends or more with Nue. It again, feels one-sided. Nue doesn't really touch upon any of Murasa's backstory or anything like that. They just happened to know one another. Also the game that came out right after introduced this buddy of Nue's from the outside with a similar ability where they have trickster pranks together and all, and sort of killed the illusion that Nue would ever be insecure to need friends that badly, or whatever. I dunno. I don't know what to think about it, lol.

Of course, moving beyond that I began to like MokoKene. Or KeneMoko. Again a similar OTP to KazuSayo. One person is SUPER LONELY. This person, Mokou, has done something to give herself immortality that causes her to be ostracized by society since she never seems to grow old, so she becomes increasingly withdrawn and a hermit to society. She does this for a thousand years or so. (This is getting absurd, isn't it? Lol. SPOTTO IS SO LONELY, SHE ONLY IDENTIFIES WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE ALONE FOR ABSURD AMOUNTS OF TIME) Of course unlike Sayo Mokou actually does go about killing a whole bunch of people, but moving on we come to Keine, a half-youkai whose character is the basis for the initial conflict between humans and youkai. The perspective of a half-youkai is most unique. (Though Keine is only really a youkai once a month since she is a WERE-hakutaku, so... ) anyway Keine has more of a human-leaning view than a youkai view despite her affliction. Mokou is someone though technically a human, her behaviour over the years and her own immortality makes her out to be more like a youkai if you think about it, but Mokou's first friend after many centuries ends up being Keine. I think there's something truly heartwarming when the protagonists need to go attack Mokou and despite Mokou being INVINCIBLE, Keine still goes out of her way to try to protect her and lead the protagonists away anyway. Keine gets beat up and they go for Mokou despite her efforts. She did this at first to protect the village earlier in the game, but near the end of the game the only reason she fights the protagonists again is solely for Mokou. It's sweet, isn't it?

This spawned a ridiculous amount of the most adorable fanworks I have ever seen. KeneMoko is a fairly popular pairing in Touhou, especially when you consider harem lead Marisa isn't part of it, nor does it involve any other protagonist that usually manages a harem of their own. The characters themselves haven't really been that relevant for several years either, until recently when Mokou showed up in a fighting game and some outsider they introduced Mokou ends up befriending and let's move on from that. Keine is especially irrelevant at this time though, haven't not appeared in anything with any significance since pretty much after her first appearance. Sigh. Well that's how it goes I suppose. It's the same with Murasa too. Not all too relevant now.

So I moved on to the last one I'm gonna mention from Touhou. It's relatively recent, so give me a moment. For the last few I kept sticking with this one lonely character who needed a friend. Or a dog, I guess if you really think about it, but for AyaSanae, this time the character, Aya, was not someone who was well, lonely. Her traditional characterization is usually this confident journalist who will do anything to get a good story, no matter how immoral it might be. At first this portrayal was more prevalent in fanworks, seeing as it was a funny exaggeration for the cast's only media representative, but the creator very quickly adopted a similar portrayal himself, so Aya sort of became a caricature of her initial characterization. I don't know either. Anyway, in-universe she was not the most popular person in the world. All of her mainline ships didn't really serve to improve Aya as a character, as Aya was usually the dominant member and would boss around the character paired to her. I hated that. It took me a long time to really look at Aya as a character I would bother liking. Like, who cares? She's not the role model Kazumi was and she has no qualms about how to achieve what she needs in her career, and she isn't lonely at all!

...or is she?

AyaSanae, a rarepair came along and it came with a very refreshing take on Aya. While yes, Aya isn't exactly human (but we keep applying human-like qualities on values on all the other youkai and non-human species of Touhou anyway, fanworks!) she's not really a well-rounded character with any depth to her motivations. Like why is she a journalist? Why because her crow tengu species are all avid reporters too! Well that doesn't make Aya particularly unique even if she is the most notable of the group. Still, as someone with a friendship complex I can't really swallow that Aya doesn't resent in some way that she may not be popular or have any friends. The character most associated to her in canon, Momiji, canonically hates her or at least has a very strong personal feud with Aya. Aya's other character most strongly associated to her is Hatate, who is just another crow tengu journalist meant to be a rival that makes Aya look like the best tengu around. It's not really all too reassuring. But in comes Sanae, an OUTSIDER with a unique perspective who believe or not, when this ship is portrayed, makes Aya a BETTER PERSON.

THAT'S ALL I EVER ASKED FOR!

So how this all works is that Aya seems to fancy Sanae for whatever reason. I dunno. Figure it out yourself. The point is, Aya feels she can't really approach Sanae properly in that kind of manner because most of her relationships to people are strictly business. Not only that but Sanae is a human and that may look badly on human-youkai relations due to Sanae being involved with the goddesses who sort of want to take over the mountain for their faith which is also where the tengu all live and take claim to. It's a bit of a mess, is it not? There's some agreement in place for both of them to co-exist on the mountain, but it's just not good for tensions if most notable tengu and priestess responsible for spreading faith get together, is all I'm saying.

Yet thanks to fanworks bending canon rules, Aya's acquaintances who are more like close friends in this universe encourage Aya to go after Sanae. Sanae's goddesses want her to be close to Aya too, so they can improve goddess-tengu relations, and if they're friends that'd be good or whatever. So Aya gives Sanae a tour but Sanae doesn't really like Aya because who actually likes Aya, I mean c'mon. Then over time we run into Sanae's own issues of adapting into Gensokyan society, since she came from the outside where she had a normal (sorta) life at school with friends and modern technology, and now has no real peers here and has a completely different life with completely different technology, like magic! Aya comforts her in her very own youkai-like way, in that she hasn't much to say because she can't possibly understand, so she just pops out her wings and envelops Sanae in it. Give her some physical comfort. It's all Sanae needed... and for once, this relationship doesn't start off one-sided or stay that way, anyway. The two help one another. Sanae to adapt, and Aya to be better.

Because unlike Aya's more popular pairs, she's not bossing Sanae around and Sanae is devoted to her anyway for no real reason. Sanae makes Aya second-guess herself, makes her flustered. Sanae's go-for-it attitude and eccentricity is unpredictable to Aya. Every time Aya thinks she has control of the situation, Sanae surprises her. I can't really go into much depth about these two because they are a rarepair and everything I mentioned came from one very talented doujinshi artist, but this person (man? idk) singlehandedly not only made me like this ship, but like Aya! But anyway, Sanae's existence humbles Aya and gives her this sort of humanity and empathy she was sort of lacking, that made her more relatable. But this still wasn't to the level of give and receive I was hoping for, but the farthest I've found so far. Though Aya provided Sanae opportunity to adapt and supported her, I don't see Sanae as a character improving, but she does get a friend and acclaimed to Gensokyo and maybe her own character doesn't really need improving because she isn't as obviously flawed as Aya. Who knows! Still, it's the closest yet.

Potential for such a thing came from this next series, one very not-subtle about what they're trying to achieve with the show since it's titled as Friendship is Magic. MLP.

It took me a while to find a character to like actually. I most related to Fluttershy at the time, but my values were a lot closer to Pinkie Pie's. So I was like "wait, why not just put them together!" which was something somewhat possible due to their interactions in the most innocent of times that was season one. In one of the earliest episodes, Pinkie Pie defended Fluttershy's sensitivity, and kept her and Rainbow Dash (who has known her for years mind you) from pranking her. When Pinkie saw Fluttershy being bullied, she came up with a plan to get the bully back. When Fluttershy needed courage to jump over the chasm in Dragonfly, Pinkie's song encouraged her enough to go over. Not her other friends who were clearly exasperated (especially RD) about her keeping them from progressing very far. Pinkie kept her positivity up and supported Fluttershy wholeheartedly, no hard feelings whatsoever. Then several episodes down the line, for some reason Fluttershy despite being the shiest, most timid of them all, was so happy Pinkie was okay when she went missing (and was most worried for her as well) she jump-tackled Pinkie to the ground the moment she saw her. This would seem out-of-character if we didn't note all these things Pinkie did for her earlier. I thought a lovely cute little friendship was happening. It was one-sided though, but it was blossoming.

Then the most innocent of times concluded. One flaw of Pinkie Pie the writers began to make more and more apparent was her...insensitivity? Which I thought was quite odd because it seemed like she grasped this concept pretty well in season one. I suppose that same episode Fluttershy glomped her in she did start a war with her insensitivity with her not-very-good (rather unusual for Pinkie) song to make sure the ponies and the buffalo could get along. Maybe it was a botched attempt at humour, I'm not sure. Anyway Pinkie seemed to lose this concept and probably unintentionally made the whole Luna situation in Luna Eclipsed worse, then her sense of reality or how other ponies felt dwindled quite rapidly, like in the Friend In Deed episode where she could not grasp Cranky's need for her to leave him alone, if only because Pinkie is SO desperate to make him a friend and doesn't care, or just doesn't understand. Then there's that one episode about the cake she was protecting that was all kinds of wtf in terms of friendship, so let's not go there.

Then of course Pinkie realized with such clairvoyance how her own clones were terrorizing the town in the season three episode. I'm inclined to believe Pinkie didn't realize how overbearing she was until she saw several dozen copies of her acting in the most one-dimensional way possible. Finally in season four despite being one of the strongest Pinkie Pie seasons to date (there is a lot of "I realize I am in the wrong and can see you are unhappy and understand your sensitivity" in Pinkie Apple Pie and Pinkie Pride respectively, maybe even Maud Pie!") we had... Filli Vanilli.

I have spoken so much about this episode, but it really slammed on the pedal and floored it when I was already in the wild wide and hoping to any higher power of existence who could hear me to let us slow down. She was NOTHING like this in season one, and here she is making Fluttershy cry with the most obvious, over-the-top cries, sobs, and wails I have seen and somehow Pinkie cannot see what she is doing that is wrong? I just do not understand how people defend Pinkie in this episode, I can't. It was finally here that I realized the old vision of PinkieShy where Pinkie is the one who can help Fluttershy become bolder and closer was wrong. Or at least, only part of it. If the canon is going to run off with this type of characterization, Fluttershy is the one who needs to make PINKIE the better person! If both parts of what I see does happen, then yes this would be the first time the relationship will be pretty evenly-sided, where they help one another.

I mean Pinkie has her insecurities! Her most infamous episode had her breakdown believing her friends no longer wanted to be with her, and she clearly is very clingy to the friends she has despite having more than anyone. I can relate to that! But despite my idea of the two helping one another, over the years and seasons Fluttershy never needed Pinkie to become more assertive or bold. She did that on her own, through many situations with many friends including her animals friends, and Pinkie wasn't there to support her with as much presence as I hoped. It's like Fluttershy became better and didn't need Pinkie at all. It became a one-sided affair once again. I was so frustrated with this pair that had so much potential in season one. I really thought if the two were close friends it'd be a really heartwarming kind of thing. Two people so very different, with different ideals, but both sharing this same kind of sensitivity, both understanding one another. It would be the closest thing to the ideal pair I have seen, but the engine barely started before the car broke down entirely. An introvert and an extrovert who can both understand what it is like to be an introvert and an extrovert. I really wish this concept was explored.

In what i call a bit too little too late, an episode finally popped up that actually featured the two together though they still shared their conflict with Rainbow Dash and Applejack. There was great pressure to do well in a sporting competition, and surprisingly both Fluttershy and Pinkie buckled under this pressure. At first Pinkie buckling is more surprising, but after Fluttershy's character development you sort of don't see it coming either. Regardless Fluttershy is the first to burst about this towards RD and AJ, and is the one to bring up the problem that paves the way to the well-rounded perfect solution MLP likes to do. Meanwhile Pinkie becomes withdrawn under this pressure, and is the one who is unable to let RD and AJ know what she feels. She actually seems like the more sensitive one of the two! For whatever reason this made the two of them feel like they have a lot more depth than before, but this aspect of the two characters hasn't been explored since, and I'm not really expecting a Pinkie and Fluttershy episode actually focused on only those two anytime soon. :\ 

So if a show literally titled Friendship is Magic wasn't the way, what was?

I found a show called RWBY. The title of the show is the first letter of each protagonist who are paired into a group. Their goal is to go to school to learn to fight monsters, and then fight monsters with that group for the rest of the foreseeable future. Or at least in school, but from the existence of teams that existed well beyond school I'm thinking that is not the case. Anyway we are given tidbits of some background information on these four characters, and they get thrown into the school to learn to work together to defeat the monsters and subsequently become better huntresses and people as a result! I watched a trailer called the White Trailer. It had this character who exemplified all these feelings I've had in my entire life, though the lyrics weren't particularly subtle about it. This beautiful girl, who could get hit in the face and get a RAD SCAR despite her beauty, was all sad and lonely. She is entirely by herself in the trailer and only fights this construct which isn't even technically alive. I felt sympathy for her and loved the music and animation of the trailer. I knew she'd be my favourite character immediately, but in the large scheme of things she was sort of fitting my stereotypical pattern of favourites.

Until she opened her mouth in the series itself.

THIS IS AN ALPHA FEMALE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

But yet, I still loved her.

Why?

Weiss Schnee was this type of person I had conflict with so many times in my life, but I never really saw these people's own perspectives. I had such negative interactions with them, or at least my friendship with them always ended poorly that I never really saw it from their side or understood who these people were. Weiss was like, someone who guarded herself deeply and had a lot of issues inside, and she did it by being bossy and mean. It took her a while to accept those around her, but it also didn't take her long to change herself or see that she had to be supportive if she wanted to keep these people around, these friends. She learned pretty quick actually, so her first impression wasn't really all that significant in the large scheme of things. Seeing her White Trailer and then how she acted I knew right away Weiss wasn't actually like this at all, and unlike a lot of people became intrigued with who she was and what she'd become because of it. Because we already knew there was something about her that didn't match how she behaved.

At first I followed the crowd and shipped her with whoever was most commonly shipped with her, but this was a young show, so anything could change. And change it did because the core of the plot for much of the first three seasons was the conflict between the White Fang and well, everyone else, but mostly the Schnee Dust Corp since they're the ones that led the White Fang to their reputations and extreme beliefs to this day. The person on the side of the White Fang, or at least formerly and with a lot of faunus baggage left in? Blake. And it seemed like Weiss and Blake were very integral to the plot for a lot of these reasons. Well mostly Blake for plot and Weiss for character development, but you get the idea. Weiss needed to shake off her racist upbringing if she was to keep these comrades of hers by her side and for them to become an expert, efficient team of huntresses. This included even accepting the former terrorist group member with an endless amount of issues, Blake. Weiss really came to her own as a character over these episodes, and it even seemed Blake was turning a leaf as well, willing to let people into her life despite having been closed off for years in fear of discrimination and conviction! 

Then of course all the shit happened and it turned into Naruto. Where nobody graduates, the group breaks up, and the broodiest, angstiest person runs away. I guess since this show isn't blatantly titled FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC I can't expect it to focus on friendship as the core theme of the show, but I had assumed so anyway because of the title of the show and the premise, that these four girls of vastly different background and history must come together and fight monsters. The fact that Weiss and Blake had all this conflict to get over, and all these scenes where they were helping one another, Weiss forgiving Blake for running off with her problems, Weiss trying to force Blake to talk about her problems to the group, Blake choosing Weiss over the White Fang when they were about to kill her, finally letting go of her criminal past and what really needed to be done, to the point that by season three they were amiably having a tea and coffee date with one another. They were willing to spend time with each other outside of training, outside of arguing about their vastly different upbringings and opinions and were friends THAT HELPED ONE ANOTHER BECOME BETTER PEOPLE.

But instead shit hit the fan.

Weiss let go of her racist ways and accepted how poorly faunus were treated. She became nicer, and more supportive as a result. Blake let people into her life more often, began to trust more, and these people who should be enemies at any other time are not. That's heartwarming. That's beautiful. That's friendship! Heck, even beyond! This is the greatest potential for the greatest ship I have ever seen, but of course, of course, this show has decided writing as a priority is like fifth fiddle to things like adding more characters than necessary in every season and not bothering to develop any existing ones, killing random characters off for shock value, and putting more stock into developing side characters and minor characters over the main characters while ignoring and writing out the interpersonal relationships and interactions I watched the show for AMONG THE FOUR GIRLS. They had it! They had in right in their palms and tossed it right over a cliff! THEY HAD IT!

A non-one sided relationship in which two people can help one ANOTHER improve, and not only that their BACKGROUNDS improve. Fix the White Fang, fix the Schnee Corporation to get rid of all the corrupt terrorist bullshit that infects both their backgrounds and them as people. The two being together could solve them as people and SOLVE THE PLOT but it was flung off the cliff, not knowing what they had. I do not expect them to make this ship canon, but their mere friendship is all that is needed for some of the most heartwarming, wonderful, uplifting, and hopeful kinds of solution possible. This is why I like some horribly dark, twisted series a lot despite their theme because the ending of these things (such as Dangan Ronpa) is always one of hope despite all the shitty hardship and death everyone faces. And yes, RWBY is not over yet, I suppose the show too can achieve that same kind of thing, but when we had so many misprioritized plot points and focus on random one-off characters in such a large ratio of the show, the characters of team RWBY no matter their potential is shuffled to the side and in the end I don't even believe they have a friendship at all. There is no training montage where they learned those team-up moves they had in that one season two episode. It was not as if they did not have time because they had a whole plot about Jaune that did not move the plot whatsoever about his own problems I don't give one flying shit about. The solution didn't even matter because Pyrrha dies anyway. Like what the fuck? Yang goes out of her way to reveal some of her backstory to try to help out Blake from imploding inside due to her worries on White Fang activity, but I can't even believe she'd do that because when Blake and Weiss were arguing in season one and Blake ran off, Yang did absolutely nothing. What changed there? Was there some moment of bonding they had that made them closer so Yang would do such a thing? No because they wasted time doing pointless shit that did not improve on the relationships of these characters at all.

Blake had to resort to random faunus monkey dude to support her in that episode, and now he's the only one doing it which is troubling. If they were to be friends then it would be Weiss, Ruby, and Yang that would help her get past what her issues now especially since what Blake is going through affects her team the most, especially Weiss, but most especially Yang because she lost an entire arm trying to help Blake and Blake instead of accepting this traumatic support or helping her friend instead just runs away and leaves them to be,. But this random faunus monkey dude can totally follow her around. That's okay! Is it because he is a faunus? IS THAT THE ONLY REASON!? Ruby is so preoccupied by defeating the enemy themselves she never considers say, staying home to support her most traumatized sister a little longer, or trying to find Weiss or Blake. It's investigate what happened to Beacon, fuck my friends. Yang understandably is too shaken up to do anything for some time, so she is forgiven, but Weiss cannot even leave her father's side. She is stuck there, so she is also forgiven for not reuniting with her friends. But why bother when no one comes after her, and her final conclusion after escaping her father is to find her sister? She clearly doesn't believe they are worthy to seek out and only her sister can support her, and who can blame her!? Fuck her friends! There is no female friendship in RWBY and that's a fucking disgrace. They have no idea how to develop it whatsoever and instead develop male-female friendships that aren't even friendships because EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAS ROMANTIC SUBTEXT. DOES FRIENDSHIP MEAN ANYTHING TO THIS SERIES AT ALL!? WHAT THE FUCK. Penny and Pyrrha were amazing supportive friends! EXCEPT THEY DIED. OKAY. AWESOME.

It was the most promising and it crashed hard, into a trainwreck that was so bad I finally looked away from it. Yeah the action, choreography was great, but that's not what keeps me watching a series. That's not draws me to a series. It's the female friendship I so long to watch. It's why of everything that has been recommended to me in the past few years Little Witch Academia is on the top of the list because I don't see any of these themes in all the other mystery, comedy, actiony things people recommend me. Maybe I'll give it a chance, but I just feel so cynical after RWBY, that I had to write a giant story to fix this severe problem. That I'd rather just play video games and give up watching stuff forever than to put in hope for what I like to see in stories. It's why I'm so apprehensive with starting anything and would stick to the same series and franchises I have trust in over and over again. And it's because of my friendship issues throughout my entire life that I'm stuck with such a specific kind of theme I really want to watch, and see done well. Maybe I just want validation? I don't know. 

Things like Touhou and Overwatch where everything does not hang on one cohesive story is a lot more approachable than some anime or cartoon people recommend. Since the story is not released all at once and speculation is rampant, plus we can always enjoy them both in other words like actually playing the game or listening  to music, it doesn't depend entirely on what canon says. I really like Mercymaker in Overwatch for the potential of Mercy being one of the few people that can help Widowmaker recover. Also it's hot, but that's irrelevant. It's extremely one-sided though because I do not see Mercy benefiting as a person helping Widowmaker, merely doing what she usually does that she has devoted her life to, but it follows the pattern of the kind of pairing I like. Anyway despite that there's not a lot of canon to back this up, it's just an idea and the fans power these ideas. Most likely due to the story being all over the place and with so many other characters this ship is free to be as large as the imagination desires. There's a chance something will come around to throw it off, but due to the nature of these series I can usually ignore it.

One final last thing I forgot to mention in quite possibly one of the largest rants i have written of everything ever, is that I also had a friend in between Beyblade and Negima, a fandom friend when I was into B-Daman briefly. We made up a lot of story and artwork through our roleplays and I spent a ridiculous amount of time with this girl. Sadly she drifted away eventually, so I couldn't think of anyway to put her in this rant since I mentioned so many of my other friends. Still, i do wonder how she is doing and if she is okay because when I met her she was going through some difficult times. I have no real way to contact her but I hope she's doing well.

Ultimately, friendship is hard. True friends are the few that stick by your side unconditionally, and most people have no idea how to depict the kind of friendship I'm looking for in media. At least of those I've seen, but RWBY has dampened my spirits to the point that I can't be bothered anyway. Just gotta stick with what I already have and cherish who are still around. Thank you my friends. Even if we drift away someday, I am glad you were around when you were. And it's definitely true that a lot of us will not know what we are missing when people are gone. I probably still have a bit of a friendship complex, but throughout all of this I went from this positive outgoing person who really wanted lots of friends to an introvert who would rather stay inside and sleep all day. I do still want to have friends, but I don't have the effort anymore. And I know a lot of people are like this too, but even if they don't talk to me everyday or even every week, when we finally do speak again we can pick off where we left off, like time does not affect our friendship at all, and that's the best feeling to have. We're all adults now anyway. Responsibilities take up our time, but still that doesn't mean drifting away is something that is guaranteed. 

This has been Spotto, and I have revealed quite a bit. Adios!
spotto: (hong kong *STAAAAAARE*)
Yep. It's a chapter.
I mean, I'm currently swimming in chapter 34, so I guess it's okay to release 16.
That's how it works, right?

Yep, stuff happens.

I wager this one's a pretty important one, but whatevs.
 
spotto: (Stage One.)
Blame Akira.

Also wtf why was 14 so short compared to this chapter. How am I dividing these? With no thought put into it at all it seems!


Yaaa. I almost feel like posting the whole story thus far. Who knows. I dunno why I'm posting these so far off. Ah well.
spotto: (Q_Q)
Since i'm about 99% sure no one reads this, I can write all these with ease. (Because spoilers, especially when it comes to something true and dear to me, I cannot reinstate enough, ARE EVIL. I will not partake in it. I WILL TRY NOT TO. But leaks happen, things air early, and some people don't watch things right away, and an outlet is as good as any when it's in a chamber of echoes but the only person here in this wide, wide vast space is myself.)

Anyway after the most recent episode of MLP I decided this was a good time as any to actually figure out what my top ten or five or seven or some arbitrary number episodes in the entire series are. I mean there's over a hundred and fifty of em to choose from, why not try choosing? I thought it'd be pretty difficult, aside from the top two and now top three which have been set in stone since this quality handful of episodes aired, but when I thought about it further it was a little harder to come up with anything beyond the three. Yeah I have this massive somewhat organized little tier list hanging 'round the blog that usually sits at the top for everyone to see, and probably shouldn't be there anymore due to the hiatus, but what do I care? It's a bit vague. Five tiers are a lot, but I don't necessarily enjoy an episode from say the Awesome tier in the exact same manner and level as any other episode on the same tier. They're probably close, but variances will always happen, with any episode, and some tier system simply isn't satisfying if we're about to demonstrate some cold hard rankings.

So without further ado, here are my top eleven episodes of MLP in backwards order! Because why not? And I haven't typed here in a while, have a surplus of caffeine wading through my system, and the latest episode really drives me to want to talk about it anyway. Spoilers! ;)

wow spoilers batman )


spotto: (koi)
It seems I haven't done a Tohosort in a little over a year-and-a-half. I thought "What the hey" and spent some time doing one last night. And by doing one I mean "redo it three times" after pausing partway through because I fucked up somewhere, even though the fuckup would likely be somewhere in the 20-30 range and wouldn't really matter in the long run. "Oh' I say, it's because I tied "X" with "Y" and I like X better than Z, but not Y better than Z! But because X = Y, Y is now > Z! This cannot be. I had this issue so often because sometimes I'd do something like X > A, B, and C and then I realized I put Y higher than X and thus all three of A, B, and C! I mean yes I do like Y better than X, but for Y to out class so many others (usually a cast herd) is absurd!
 
Like why am I perfectionist about this? It's a goddamn popularity list of a bunch of fictional youkai girls. Like what. WHO FUCKING CARES. It is 2017 and I was wasting such time like that, but that's just what I do ...
 
Anyway after I finally finished doing something like that I decided to compare it to old tohosorts. Just the sort of logical thing to do, right? Compare with EVERY OTHER TOHOSORT I'VE EVER DID. And the patterns always fascinate me. They fascinate me because Touhou is the single fandom where I have no loyalty to anyone at all. My favourite character a year ago is not my favourite today. My favourite character six years ago may be my fifteenth favourite character today. The flavour cycles. My tastes change. I find interest in someone else. Because this cast is so large and this lore is so vast, I always suddenly discover, "hey this previously unappreciated character is fascinating!!" I dive into their lore and fanon, and the rest is history.
 
So as you can see in the latest Tohosort, another earth-shattering change has occurred. That's right! Parsee is in my top ten!! GASP! No but really, Aya is number one at the moment. Who foresaw fucking that? I even went back and checked where she was in my other Tohosorts just to see how much I gave a damn about this bird some years back. She was always below 20 for the longest of times. Once she was below 40-something, outside the cut-off point of the chart I decided to save. I deemed her uninteresting enough she wasn't worth showing up in the popularity contest at all at one point. And now she is NUMBER FUCKING ONE.
 
Have some numbers:
 
Aya
25th/26th/35th/42nd+/29th/28th/21st/18th/3rd/1st
 
In contrast here's an old favourite:
 
Murasa
2nd/1st/1st/1st/3rd/5th/12th/8th/11th/20th
 
Madness.
 
Now this contrast is not some random name I pulled out of my hat. I could have compared her to Koishi or something, but that's rather pointless and boring. Because Koishi has never left my ton ten ever, so it's not like such consistent numbers really amount to anything when it comes to such drastic changes like these two characters. KOISHI IS AMAZING OKAY. I loved her before she was cool. B) . I could have also compared her to Keine who had a similar kind of ascension, but again not to the absolute ridiculous extent of Aya. She literally came out of nowhere. Like what the fuck?
 
I can't very well explain how this came to be, but what I can explain is the relevance of this comparison. You see, Murasa's drop is directly correlated with Aya's rise. You know why? Because they have a few similarities. Sure they're both fourth stage bosses at some point and have short black hair, but my point here is a point I've may many-a-time on this blog. Many-a-time I mean that annoying tiny nitpicky issue I have with something that is normally incredibly petty and nonessential, but I make such a big deal of it every time it's brought up anybody reading the post would probably want to drive to my house and shoot me in the face if I dared say another word kind of thing. You know, like my Filli Vanilli issue. I rant about that all the time. The rant is usually the same every time. I do nothing to contribute to fixing that problem at all. I JUST COMPLAIN. That's the same issue here.
 
See, once upon a time I learned that Murasa's shorts ... was a skirt. It may have looked like shorts and some artists may have interpreted it as shorts, but officially as ZUN had said in some random interview about UFO probably, it was a skirt.
 
Truly, such a small tiny thing angered my very soul. Design 101! I declared! Her design was boring enough as it was. It was white. It had a sailor's uniform. The skirt was long and impractical for what she did. It was really plain. Her outfit as a whole was plain as fuck. NOTHING ABOUT HER DESIGN STOOD OUT. I thought "Well gee willikers no wonder she's such an unpopular character!" It does not matter how gimmicky your danmaku is if your design is terrible! But the one redeeming factor in my eyes were the shorts. No one really wears shorts. I guess Wriggle wears pants, but that was like years ago. And Mokou too, but same game! If Murasa wore shorts, the entire bland design would be forgiven. She'd finally have a piece of apparel unique to the population of Gensokyo. "Finally!" I'd say, "There are no frills! There is no skirt! She may look like an ordinary sailor, but it stands out in the fantastical world of Touhou!" And I would bask in such originality, and people would depict her as a more tomboyish character because of her clothes! Because goddamnit how else are you going to draw a character from blank states like Touhou characters, especially those too unimportant to have plot relevance in any other game or manga again? I GRASPED AT THE STRAWS AND CLUNG ONTO THEM FOR AS LONG AS I POSSIBLY COULD!
 
But canonically, it's a skirt. APPARENTLY A GODDAMN SKIRT
 
Touhou has no ships. It has no romance. There are no ships to sink. THIS IS THE CLOSEST THING THEY COULD SINK, THIS SHIP RIGHT HERE. MURASAXSHORTS, SUNK FASTER THAN MURASA HERSELF CAN USE HER ABILITY! THE ONE SHIP THAT MUST NEVER BE SUNK, THE ONE MURASA RODE ON AS HER ONLY GODDAMN POTENTIAL. MOTHERFUCKING SUNK.
 
And so the ship sunk, nosediving to the bottom of the ocean just like my interest in Murasa. Did I truly like Murasa for Murasa? Or was I only in love with her imaginary, noncanon shorts? Shorts that never was. Never to be. Potential dashed.
 
Anyway, with that hope crushed into infinity, years later I found interest in one Aya Shameimaru. No she doesn't wear shorts. I liked Aya for Aya! Though her design is great too, I found solace in the fact that occasionally she isn't depicted as the soulless unsympathetic hack that manipulated people for her sensationalized bundle of ink and paper. I mean she's probably partially that, but y'know with a cast of only females comes with a fandom of horny males, so that depiction can be pushed further to near voyeurism. Where panties becomes the holy grail of a news story to a crow tengu. I don't know either. But I got sick and tired of that same old shallow characterization popping up over and over again, and thus never saw Aya for Aya, only the sensationalized bundle of ink and paper the fandom liked to depict her as.
 
Every character suffers from that, absolutely all of them. It can take some time to see the diamond in the rough, so to say.
 
Also her music is great, but that's usually the case for the entire cast, so... Anyway, to keep things short, or shorter rather, I lied earlier! Aya DOES wear shorts! No, not her usual outfit, but in Gensokyo whenever you want to pretend to be a human, you just gotta dress really fancily and trendy. SO like, not diapers on heads or gothic lolita fashion but actual sane fashion a human would actually wear. In Mamizou's case she wore an awesome scarf, grew out her hair, and basically looked infinitely better than her ragtag youkai look. In Aya's case, she dressed up like a stereotypical newsboy who would hand out papers shouting "EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!"
 
I being the very diligent person, went through real canon Touhou work (this being Forbidden Scrollery) to not only verify my sources, but to see if the rumoured SUSPENDERS showed up on this outfit as well. I found only one panel where Aya was not guarding her undershirt as if the very secrets of the tengu themselves were hidden under there, and there was a line. The line COULD be suspenders. IT may not be, though suspenders are the most likely article of clothing. All I can really determine from all this is that the fashion in the Human Village is much further along than the Outside World, and the people out here need to step-the-fuck-up, because hot damn.
 
if you don't wEAR SHORTS that isI am not saying at all the very idea Aya wore shorts that one time (and potentially suspenders!1) caused her to become first, not at all. It may have contributed slightly, but I found this contrast rather intriguing. That the one character I assumed would make sense as a sort of androgynous type of character due to her official outfit, never wore such a thing at all! And the other character who I never even considered for such a part would choose such a disguise one day. Why that disguise? It's sort of Western-looking is it not? Though I guess, what else would scream out "THIS PERSON IS OBVIOUSLY A JOURNALIST" than such an outfit? But then why did she choose newsboy? It's not as if Mamizou's, Kosuzu's, or Akyuu's clothing are similar. Well anyway I'm not here to decipher such things, only to sit in wonderment of how this fucking tengu stole my heart recently.
 
Like I don't actually know. I don't know what changed. Do I just like Keine and Miko less? I guess? Maybe? AyaSanae did help quite a bunch, what a wonderful rarepair. But you know maybe I do know. I played some Sims recently and made Madoka Magica Sims. I was playing through a planned scenario that involved a lot of death, murder, homelessness, and zombies. Aya became relevant in Act 3. In fact she became VERY relevant in Act 3, and the way I weaved that story about made her a very awesome character indeed. I thought to myself as I came up with the inspired plot, that Aya was quite the bro. Which is an odd thing to say because Aya's characterization is usually the opposite of a "bro". She would never be nice for no real reason. There are always ulterior motives. ALWAYS!
 
But coming up with the ulterior motive for her to be so nice made her so fascinating in my eyes. I thought, "Dang, this is the potential of Aya as a character" and never really thought about it until now. It reminded me of this old Touhou comic I read when I first got into the fandom, t'was a Youmu comic. I remember a fairly badass portrayal of Aya there. I thought "Wow, I really like this Aya person. They're such a bro!" And that was the last time I thought of Aya like that because fandom is a bitch. And that in itself reminded me of an old nostalgic favourite I had long, long ago, ten years in fact. She too was a journalist, and she too was far too nice for no real reason, but sometimes she had ulterior motives or at least personal motives, and was not simply doing a favour just because. At one point, that character was a wildcard in a very dangerous, climatic situation where she could have been on the bad guys' side, but then suddenly wasn't. Because well, what fulfilled her goals more? Neutral parties that do things because they benefit themselves and it's not in an overly ambitious cartoonishly evil way (because most neutral parties end up being BACKSTABBING TRAITORY PARTIES INSTEAD!) is something I don't often see in fiction enough. Or maybe I just need to experience more fiction since I like limiting myself to very few. (This is due to time-management and addiction reasons.)
 
If I ever get motivated enough to post that Sims scenario on my Sims blog, you may realize the full context of my explanation. 
 
Anyway I gave myself a 30 minute time limit to write this and spent an hour instead because ... I was supposed to go to sleep, so this is a good a place as any to end this. I hope this blog enjoys the slight amount of activity, and anyone floating around in the headlights and tumbleweeds may someday stumble upon this to read it. Until then, adios! This has been Spotto.
spotto: (Default)
 I LOVE playing Overwatch. I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. It is something I greatly enjoy.

Yet I can’t  bring myself to play it. I haven’t played it in over week, even during this fun event to collect lootboxes. I haven’t talked to my gaming friends in over a week either. I’ve just been mulling around, doing nothing productive, watching anime I’ve already seen, trying to experience all over again the love I have for some nostalgic shows in the past. I just spammed one of my friends a giant essay about Madoka. I would rather write rants about an Anime than socialize and kill things on Overwatch. EVEN THOUGH I LOVE OVERWATCH.


 

I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. It took me three times as long to get home from work today because of the snow. I took two weeks off to mourn my father and now I’m suddenly back to five-day-work weeks. I was dreading the loss of my time by wasting time. I took two weeks off because I wanted to just do whatever I wanted to distract myself or whatever from the shit that is life. Yet the first week was frantic with funeral preparations because of how taboo it is to have one after Lunar New Year. It’s been over a week since the funeral and I have no clue where we’re burying my father’s ashes. I don’t even know if he even is ashes yet at this point. Is it taboo to burn a body after CNY? Did they rush to burn the body before CNY? But we haven’t even finalized the finances for an urn, so how could there be ashes yet? Is it in a temporary one? 

My mom is a depressed, anxious, paranoid mess. She is stressing out my uncle and aunt who had come for CNY for a holiday, so that is already ruined. My brother fractured his foot after slipping on the ice. I was summoned to accompany my mother grocery shopping in a blizzard, because my brother did not trust her alone. I can’t do anything. I keep trying to ignore things. I keep trying to drown them all out, but I can’t. And it’s destructive, and it’s unhelpful to the family. Yet I also can’t give into the idea that all of my time is to be used for the family because I can’t even bring myself to do the things I even enjoy. I can’t play Overwatch. I just do nothing.

I’ve been more anti-social than I usually am. I stopped speaking to my brother for a day for a minor inconvenience, but I can’t bring myself to come out of my shell. I can’t do fucking anything. I don’t know what I’m doing. I go to work tomorrow to do menial unrewarding tasks, spend a gargantuan amount of time trying to get back home so that I may also do nothing when I get home.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. Is discussing Kyouko and Sayaka’s motivation rewarding? Is suddenly discussing an Anime I always had controversial opinions about because of how hopelessly spoiled I was and how jealous I was of its overexposure really something I would be doing now if I had a healthy mindset? Is my mind healthy? Am I mentally here? People have reached out to me in text and words, and I always respond I am ok. I always respond I am okay. I never respond any differently. Even if the scenario were different, even if it were five months ago. I always say I am okay. It is never good. It is never bad. I give the same answer each and every time. I wonder why no one notices.

I tell myself to go to bed early so I that I may not be tired tomorrow for work. So that I may wake up in time to leave early so that I won’t be late because of the snow. I am never late. What’s the point of being on-time each and every day? Who cares about such a minor detail? I was summoned out of bed to shovel snow a few days ago. I did it wordlessly and bitter. As I slogged through the slush holding my mother’s bags I did it wordlessly and bitter. Everything I do is wordless and bitter. I finish every task and chore you give me, but it is always wordless and bitter. I do not engage in the act myself. I must be told, and it is wordless and bitter.

I don’t know. Maybe because I grew used to sitting Teamspeak waiting for someone to ask me to play Overwatch, and that hasn’t happened in a long time, to the point that I stopped regularly sitting idle in Teamspeak. I’m doing it now, but I always throw myself in the AFK channel, to signify I am not to be disturbed. Yet why join in the first place if I do not want to be disturbed? Why not stay off entirely? What am I trying to achieve doing something like this? Why leave programs like Skype, Discord, Teamspeak open when no one ever initiates? And in the rare time it does I do not want to talk to them, to socialize, and I feel annoyed. Even though by merely having a presence on these services, I am presenting myself as open to activities? 

What the fuck am I doing? And why am I posting it on Tumblr? Who even reads my Tumblr? Porn blogs? Random followers I’m not sure are bots? Mutuals I barely talk to and have no interests with? Barely anyone I regularly converse with even reads this. What is the purpose? Am I trying to reach out for help, yet put it on a platform where there’d be little of help?
 

I don’t fucking know what I’m doing anymore. I’m supposed to be feeling sad right? A Reddit post said the first year after a major death is hard. Why don’t I feel sad? Aren’t I sad? Why can’t I cry? Do I even care? I still cut this post because even in my whiny little angst rant that I will likely delete the next day because expressing myself in the public eye of the internet on my own blog is somehow embarrassing and will draw far too much attention I must adhere to people’s preferences. No one wants a giant wall of text on their dashboard. I don’t either. That’s why I unfollowed tons of people recently, mostly RWBY people. I thought maybe I could stop being so unhappy if I cut disastrous series that don’t bring joy anyway like RWBY out of my life. A friend of mine tried to link me an action scene from V4 to rekindle some sort of passion. My response was to delete every single RWBY-related recommendation I saw on Youtube. 

It feels like I failed that person. I tried so hard to get them into RWBY because I enjoyed it so much. They finally started watching it, and it felt like it was for me. Because we don’t watch the same shows anyway, and they watched it for me. And now I abandoned the show I tried so hard to get him to watch, and now I have failed him. And now we lost our one single similar interest. 

Everyone is so flawed. Everyone is so flawed. People are so flawed. I am so flawed. Why, for twenty years did I believe in some hopelessly idealistic friendship of a lost soul finding their way with a perfect, optimistic, angel of a friend? Someone so selfless, so devoted to this no-name schmuck. That person does not exist. Because perfection does not exist. Flaws are all that exists. 

It’s like I’m barely hanging on a thread.

...this didn’t end up on Tumblr did it? I was too shy to be so bold, to post so much of myself in such a public space. I probably put it on my personal blog that no one reads. That I will delete eventually. Or maybe I drafted it. Who fucking knows. I disappoint myself. I always do.

spotto: (Sooooolo)
There's an artist on Tumblr who I admire, and who has quite possibly the best sense of humour there is. Unfortunately our opinions don't always align, and she seems extra-sensitive to racial issues like Tumblr is sometimes infamous for. I can't comment on anything not involving my own race for chance of ignorance, but as someone who is Chinese I was a little miffed that despite a large post rebuking an incredibly stupid post written by someone who thought even speaking Chinese when one is not natively Chinese is somehow offensive, apparently Mercy wearing an outfit with Chinese patterns or Widowmaker in a Qipao on just her spray is something they are uncomfortable with.
 
They might have a small beef if they themselves were Chinese, but they're not.
 
White people who get offended for other people's cultures/race piss me off to no end. Especially those who hold the opinion that no matter what people think of or say they cannot possibly be racist against white people because of privilege or whatever, which also pisses me off. That's like holding other cultures/races on a pedestal and making it more "sacred/exotic" compared to white culture simply because they have a history of oppressing minorities. It's still treating us differently as if we're an alien species as opposed to different yet equal. In the end any issue that comes down to racism or cultural appropriation is most likely a case-by-case basis, and never something starkly black and white. To assume so would be almost like generalizing any minority into one melting pot of people compared to white people. Also anytime someone even mentions white people it's always Americans or something and never like, Eastern Europeans who also are pale-skinned and have had a history of being oppressed as well. What about Africans who are white, or are we to assume if they aren't dark skinned they aren't African? This always made the term "African-American" nonsensical to me, because if someone from say Northern Africa who may look tanned at most or someone with white skin from South Africa immigrated to America, what do they call themselves? No one would take them seriously because African-American is ingrained within their minds as black so much that they'd end up just calling the person using the term racist or ignorant. 
 
In other words these "white knights" who try to be allies express some internalized racism without even knowing, without ever acknowledging it. It just pisses me off. It reminds me of a layman trying to correct someone on some topic and talking over the expert who could explain and express everything much more sincerely and accurately. If there isn't someone or even a group of people of that specific race bringing up the issue, what is the issue? Unless there is literally a tiny population of the people, most cultures and races do not need a white ambassador to lecture all the other internet people what is politically correct and what isn't. 
spotto: (@_@)
Yes. SDR2 Spoilers. blahblahblah.

In My Little Pony there is a ship I have that I have many mixed feelings towards. I ultimately ship it, but it has always frustrated me how despite their status as main characters and friends that they had very little interaction throughout the show and any that did surface would often be a negative one. That's right, Pinkie and Fluttershy, always be making one another cry or one another uncomfortable, insensitivity ruining things for the highly-sensitive despite that wonderful episode early on where it looked like Pinkie was rather protective and considerate of Fluttershy's feelings, that led to that season showcasing how much Pinkie cared, encouraging Fluttershy to leap over the chasm in Dragonshy through song when everyone else was annoyed at how much of a load she was. When Fluttershy became so concerned that Pinkie went missing she leap-hugged her out of nowhere which would have been out-of-character any other day, any other episode and these lovely small moments disappearing into the winds, as writers came and went and characterization developed so...~

In Danganronpa there is a ship I try to have but have far too many mixed feelings towards. I don't ultimately ship it despite trying so hard to, though my thoughts are turning towards maybe trying once more. Why do I mention it here in the middle of what seems like a My Little Pony rant? Why because I always compare this ship to PinkieShy due to the two characters being somewhat similar to them. If I do not ship this ship I pretty much have nothing to ship in DR, which is why I really want this to work, yet unlike Pinkie and Fluttershy these characters though also friends and in the same clique, mostly have negative interactions when they show up. Not something minor and forgivable like making one another cry either, but literal murder.

Yep.

Now before you bite my head off, the context is VERY important and in fact the murder itself isn't even the problematic portion that bothers me to the point of not shipping it. The circumstances that lead Mikan to murdering Ibuki is pretty longwinded and occasionally ridiculous, but the entire cast of SDR2 are all parts of the Remnants of Despair, a terrorist cultist group following the ways of Junko who is basically Satan Incarnate after falling to her manipulative wiles/brainwashing. SDR2's biggest twist (or one of anyway) is that it turns out it's all a simulation to try to rehabilitate the cast so they lose their memories of being Despair, and go through a fun school trip where they bond and have positive memories that can return them to the happy pure selves they were of before. When Ibuki was murdered, a Despair disease made up by the mastermind and antagonist mascot of the series, Monokuma, caused a few of the characters to act very differently from their normal selves. Ibuki was given the gullible disease and Mikan the remembering disease. Mikan regained her memories of being a depraved horrific monster who will spread Despair at any cost for the sake of Junko, her love, and so she picked out the most vulnerable character to off who happened to be Ibuki. 

I have no problems with that.

But before Mikan was despair, she was already a very broken individual. She had a very horrific past and upbringing. People regularly bullied her and called her trash, they would physically abuse her like putting out cigarette butts onto her skin, or using her as a writing pad when none was around. They basically did not treat her as a human being, and it has been such a consistent part of her life that she has a very warped and unhealthy personality towards others. Her self-esteem is to the pits, and though she would cry if you insult her (See: Saionji) she also believes the only way she can be liked is to show off her body, take off her clothes, willingly make herself a fanservice magnet to others. She has this belief that her only worth is her physical appearance and that's the only way she can be of any value, so she does intricate things like trip very awkwardly, falling into incredibly provocative positions assuming everyone would like it. She's terrified of every little thing, super anxious and also the Super High-School Level Nurse, meaning she's incredibly talented in caring for others. It's implied she enjoys being a nurse because it's the only time she feels she has an advantage over others. The only time she is stronger than another person is if that person is very sick and weak.

Anyway Mikan is messed up.

Ibuki for a while seemed to encourage Mikan's self-destructive behaviour because she enjoys cute girls. She likes fanservice. That scene with all the girls showing up to the beach party seriously rocked her world. So many girls with large boobs! IT'S HER PARADISE! She was also one if Mikan's friends or at least they were both in the same clique in school. Now, I found Ibuki's behaviour though rather harmless in terms of intentions (after all despite Mikan's protests she truly is doing what she does on purpose technically) it preys upon Mikan's insecurities and only serves to validate Mikan's belief that her only worth and only ability to be of any use to someone is to show off her body, which is very unhealthy. So Ibuki would be enabling Mikan and therefore should they be in a relationship, it would never end well.

But the more I thought about it, the more this issue isn't as large as it seems. Ibuki acted the way she did because at the time these fanservice shots were happening, the class believed they had all just met. Ibuki has absolutely no idea of Mikan's ulterior motives when she does what she does, she can only react the way she would normally react. For whatever reason I assumed Ibuki would still react in this way as if they were good friends, which we have no indication of in the small Twilight Syndrome scenes that flashback to their friendship back in the school when they had memories. I mean it can't all be good considering they are all willingly friends with Saionji for some reason (and in fact, I theorize Saionji is ACTUALLY the reason this clique exists, as in she is the CENTER of the four/five girls. You probably think I'm crazy, but look at it like this. Mahiru has no reason to be friends with Ibuki or Mikan, nor does Mikan have reason to be friends with Ibuki, but they ALL have reasons to circle around Saionji. Saionji is the closest to Mahiru, so that's the easy one. Saionji is also the only one who enjoys Ibuki's unique brand of music that she prefers as opposed to the generic pop she's famous for, so  that obviously draws Ibuki to the group. Saionji is also the only one who gives Mikan attention. After a while Mikan's shenanigans would tire others or drive them away because most people in Hope's Peak at least in their class aren't mindless perverts... wait, what about Hanamura? What a strange plothole. 

....wait a second.

Danganronpa 3 fixed the plothole.

WAIT A SECOND.

WAIT A MOTHERFUCKING SECOND.


There's a relationship chart for Class 77 that came out for the Anime, mostly pointing out who's friends with who and such. Ibuki had no friends, but her only comment was that she found Hanamura gross. There was a scene in the Anime where she "accidentally" kicked Hanamura away when he went into horny horndog mode...

THIS IS EVIDENCE THAT IBUKI WOULD NOT STAND FOR SOMEONE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MIKAN. AND THUS MIKAN WOULD BE DRAWN TO HER CLIQUE THAT INCLUDES SAIONJI FOR SOME REASON FOR MORE THAN JUST THE SAD DEPRESSING NEED FOR ATTENTION THAT SAIONJI PROVIDES, AS NEGATIVE AND HORRIBLE AS IT WOULD BE BECAUSE IBUKI FINDS THE RESIDENT PERVERT GROSS, AND ACTIVELY STOPS HIM HERSELF. OH MY GOD.

And considering Ibuki's greatest wish in a relationship is a beautiful wholesome platonic BAND MEMBER BEST FRIEND kind of thing, she admits it in her finale in Island Mode, check her wiki entry for more info that means Ibuki's lust isn't as corrupted as I believed and Ibuki MAY ACTUALLY BE one of the few people FITTING to ship with MIKAN!

OH MY GOD. I JUST REALIZED THIS. I WAS GOING TO RANT THAT THIS SHIP WAS LIKE PINKIESHY TO THE NEGATIVE EXTREME, BUT I JUST FOUND A JUSTIFICATION THAT MAKES IT SOAR PAST PINKIESHY IN THE LIKELIHOOD AND HEALTHINESS DEPARTMENT! I MEAN IT PROBABLY HELPS THAT BOTH IBUKI AND MIKAN ARE PART OF THE LGBT SPECTRUM IN CANON, BUT HOLY CRAP.

But that just makes my love for PinkieShy even sadder. These two similar characters (kinda) with far more fucked up pasts/circumstances/traumas in a much more unforgiving universe WHEREIN ONE MURDERED THE OTHER can potentially work better as a couple than two happy technicoloured G-rated ponies. What the fuck. 

I'm so glad Buckball Season exists at least. It shows Fluttershy's development as a character and where she needs to go if shipping her with Pinkie is of any possibility, and highlights the fact that Pinkie goes through anxiety not unlike what Fluttershy often struggled with, which gives Pinkie a way to empathize with Fluttershy's plight, leading to less insensitive situations and maybe that impossible extrovert/introvert barrier can finally be crossed the more we spend with these characters. OH GREAT WRITERS OF MY LITTLE PONY, I IMPLORE THEE TO SOMEDAY GIFT US A TRUE PINKIE AND FLUTTERSHY EPISODE THAT FULLY EXPLORES THEIR FRIENDSHIP AND GIVES MORE AMMO TO SPREAD THEIR ADORABLE SHIPPING POTENTIAL WITH SO MANY OTHERS THAT DON'T COME AT THE EXPENSE OF SOMEHOW EXPLAINING AWAY OR IGNORING EPISODES LIKE PUTTING YOUR HOOF DOWN OR FILLI VANILLI. AMEN.

I mean I still shipped them, but I was well aware however their relationship may be there were a lot of unhealthy or unsavoury aspects to it. I LOVE THE POTENTIAL OF THIS SHIP,  THE SHEER CUTENESS IT COULD BRING, but the personalities clashed in ways I did not want to believe. I wanted Pinkie to open Fluttershy up to the world, for Fluttershy to show Pinkie the little things in life. The fact that they're both pink and yellow feminine colours and there isn't some clear "this character is clearly the pants in the relationship!" kind of stereotype that wracks so many same-sex ships. Fluttershy STANDING up for Pinkie in Buckball Season was very surprising, but the kind of dynamic that really could work in the rare event Pinkie is vulnerable. And Pinkie would always do her best to cheer up and make Fluttershy comfortable when she needs it. I LOVE THIS SHIP SO MUCH, but I'm also so very conflicted with what interactions exist between them in canon.

...well at least I can ship Ibuki/Mikan in peace now. 8D I'm still fond of the hilariously dark silly images depicting Mikan in the process of murdering Ibuki though... hahahaha! I swear Ibuki is my favourite. I don't understand people who immediately hate Mikan because she murdered their waifu Ibuki because she DID after all revert back to her despair!state, and it wasn't as if Mikan was the only one in such a state initially, the whole cast (almost) and Ibuki too was as well! In fact I bet you if it was despair!Mikan trying to murder despair!Ibuki, Ibuki would welcome it since being murdered brought despair which was a good thing in their eyes. That's how fucked up that situation was, seriously.

By the way the big fanfic I was regularly posting here is NOT abandoned, I'm already beyond thirty chapters at this point. My head is coming up with more idea/scenarios as to where the story will go from here, so if anyone is still curious the story lives on! 
spotto: (arisu margtrod)
Contrary to chapter twelve, fourteen was a chapter I had a bit of writer's block on, and at the time this was not one of my favourite chapters. But hey, things change! So ye, here is fourteen since I recently finished chapter 28, and I guess if I follow this ridiculous schedule, 15 will show up whenever I finish 30! Yay! I have a lot of big plans for 29 and 30, so it might be while until that comes, but I am speaking of the FAR FUTURE, so here's chapter fourteen fer now.

4teen was a cool canadian show that broke radars sometimes...wait that was 6teen. )
spotto: (hong kong *STAAAAAARE*)
HELLO. THIS IS CHAPTER THIRTEEN OF ONLY STORY SPOTTO HAS BEEN WORKING ON FOR OVER TWO YEARS. I actually had writer's block for about eight months early on in this chapter before finally continuing, so... if you can tell where, you win a prize!

I also added a scene I wrote a few months back to make this a little more...cohesive? AND a scene I wrote like... a week ago, ha. So if it seems a bit unorganized or whatever... that is the reason. One of the scenes probably made more sense in chapter twelve but it's a bit late for that now. So yeah, got stuck on this chapter for forever, had tons of changes.

I actually really like the number thirteen. )
spotto: (Sooooolo)
Regrets

1) Waiting five years for a Sayo backstory chapter that never came. She had her introduction chapter and that was the first and only time she had a chapter dedicated to her.

2) Waiting four years for a good Fluttershy episode. She had Hurricane Fluttershy. That's it. I give up. Do not have Fluttershy as a favourite character. Pinkie and Rarity will take her place.

3) Waiting three years for RWBY to be good. Still waiting...

4) Waiting my whole life for the Canucks to win a cup. (They were cupless for the twenty years before I was born too...) A regret that will go on forever.

5) Waiting too long to go to another home game with my dad. We went to one once in 2009, and we lost pretty terribly (led and then gave up the lead) We kept talking about going again, hopefully to a win. Now it's too late. We had seven fucking years to go but never did.

geh

Jun. 4th, 2016 01:05 pm
spotto: (@_@)
 ..........

1. you could have used any other character to support Fluttershy, literally any other one
I mean I know it makes most sense with her because childhood friends bullshit,  but i'm sick and tired of rainbow dash and fluttershy always hanging out. You got Rarity making time for so many other ponies but Fluttershy still only hangs with fucking Rainbow Dash. I mean really? For fuck's sakes.

2. last episode was boring as fuck, but they also utilized Rarity and AJ again. Do you see what happens when you keep referring to the same fucking pairs? IT GETS BORING. Then again, the season five AJ/Rarity episode was also DULL AS DOORKNOBS so clearly write another one with the absolute weakest premise possible with the lowest stakes. Good god.

3. what was even the point of AJ and Pinkie appearing. There was literally no reason for them to be in this episode. They just said things that did nothing to advance the plot. Nor was Pinkie being comedic or AJ there to be the straight mare. THEY HAD NO PURPOSE. THEY DIDN'T GIVE HER BROTHER A JOB, SO WHY EVEN INCLUDE THEM

4. speaking of zephyr or whatever the fuck his name is... he's so unlikable it's not funny what the hell. What the hell. The INTENTION was to make us sympathize with his plight, but I JUST HE WAS SO ANNOYING HOW DO YOU EVEN TRY. Like you could have given him SOMETHING that was likable but it just kept piling up. His selfishness, his irritating personality, and he even makes Rainbow Dash uncomfortable by constantly flirting with her what the fuck. AND THAT LAST ONE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A SINGLE REPERCUSSION. MY LITTLE PONY HAS THIS TYPE OF CHARACTER IN THEIR SHOW NOW. ARE YOU FOR SERIOUS

5. so what even is fluttershy's job anyway? Is she paid to take care of animals? Seems odd she'd be the one in this role when she's the character with the least defined career of the six

6. why are her parents also fluttershy. You could have made ONE of them like her but they're both doormats. That's so uncreative I don't even. At least their designs were alright I guess. Look at Rarity's parents, tacky and embarrassing. Look at Pinkie's parents, amish and droll. I mean I guess they're more interesting than Rainbow or Twilight's parents but they're still just...good god man. Or maybe even give Fluttershy a single parent instead of two. At this rate the only one that breaks the norm is Rainbow's dad (with the least creative design possible) but since he only cameo'd a few times and we know nothing about him we can't confirm or deny anything. He may not even be her dad! He could just be a relative! THAT'S HOW LITTLE WE KNOW OF HIM! Surely MLP is bold enough to have single parents or whatever. They already killed off AJ's parents. 

7. Will I ever like a Fluttershy episode again? At this rate the answer is no.

8. That song was so sudden. I was really hoping last episode had a song to spice it up, especially that "GET MY TOOLS" part, but nope.

9. To be fair I'm not rating this episode as worst-tier. If you see my ranking list I at least prefer it over last week's insomnia-cure of an episode, but I dunno. I guess the spoiler of knowing Fluttershy even had a brother wrecked my expectations. I was hoping he'd be like adopted or a twin or maybe Fluttershy was adopted, or a half-sibling or a step-sibling or just something new to the sibling dynamics in MLP but he ended up being... a stereotypical brony. A neckbeard. A slob. There are fans who apparently relate to him in the sense that he has no real ambition thanks to a low sense of esteem and being terrified of failure, but I guess he spent too much of the episode trying to hide those flaws by being as irritating as possible that I can't seem to identify with him at all. Christ.

10. I'm going back to South Park. Next week cannot be as bad as these last two. (I already jinxed it, didn't I?)

GAAAAAASP

Jun. 3rd, 2016 09:53 pm
spotto: (arisu margtrod)
For the longest time I wondered why I liked Weiss in particular.

I mean I KNOW WHY, but it's more like, she isn't my M.O. She doesn't fit the PATTERN of characters I usually like. She sticks out like a sore thumb. Surely there must be a reason for this anomaly! When it comes to preferences, everything can be explained, cross-referenced, and analyzed! All that is nonsensical will be clairvoyant, and the mysteries of the world will disappear one-by-one until we have all the knowledge that can possibly be contained of the minds in our brains.

I don't know where I was going with that.

The point is recently I've returned to South Park. I'm not really in some sort of fandom limbo mostly because I no longer have time to have a fandom limbo. I still watch MLP which is still airing (the latest episode was the most boring episode that they ever made holy shit) and RWBY still is going on, though the many disappointments I've suffered from it have reached to the point that I am willing to spoil myself of whatever they're going to do in season four, if only because I vehemently refuse to give RT money. This is a big deal considering spoilers are my worst enemy. I fucking hate spoilers, but evidently I fucking hate RWBY's direction more. So there you go.

Anyway I read some old old embarrassing posts on this here blog when I was into South Park back in the day, and egads. I apparently said Stan was my favourite character. I have zero recollection of that ever being the case. My favourite has always been either Kyle or Kenny. I don't recall Stan ever being up there. Maybe he was and I just...no longer remember a thing? But eh. I also did a lot of shipping and threw slurs around like they were free candy. It seems the older I get the more PC I am... which might just be how culture is changing these days. A few friends of mine still consider things "gay" or use the term "retarded" but I don't seem to use either of those (or the F one) at all anymore. This is strange. Tumblr has corrupted me.

On the other hand, I found PC Principal hilarious, soooo...

Anyway the point is while I was promoting my love for Kenny as an amazing older brother, and that he was responsible for my first (second? idk) tirade into the fandom as the amazing Mysterion, plus that one time I revisited South Park again because he became PRINCESS KENNY...Kyle has always been my favourite. He may not be the one making bombshells or headlines and dragging me back into this fandom, but Kyle had always been my favourite since I started watching South Park from season one when I was like nine. I ALWAYS liked Kyle. And he is still my favourite, so there.

...and now Weiss is no longer an anomaly. 

THE SENSE! IT MAKES!

Now you might be wanting me to explain how all of this connects, but I'm not even going to do that. Yes, for once I will not. Make the connection on your own. There is no rant here. I just wanted to state this observation. P:
spotto: (Sims - Awesome :D)
I told people who were reading this I was going to post this like two weeks ago. It was ready to be posted two or so weeks ago. I had read through it and edited out as many contradictions and inconsistencies as I could. I just...sorta forgot? WHOOPS. Well, I managed to scrap a portion of chapter twenty-six today and then rewrote that part, and then continued with chapter twenty-seven, so I guess releasing CHAPTER TWELVE is fine for now. At the time this chapter (in particular the second half) was my favourite part of the story. Is that still true? idk. We'll see.

So here you be.

i cannot pronounce twelve properly )
spotto: (@_@)
Saddle Row Review.

Boom.

THIS EPISODE PRODUCED ONE FLUTTERPIE PICTURE AND IT WASN'T EVEN ABOUT THEM.
 
+9000!
spotto: (flutts)
!?!?!???!??!!?#!#jhgvgfdl'
.kjkhjgfdavbnmghjk.,mnbvVbnmkl,.; rgfoijghijfgfrgrrgtspkorsfjfdd;cv l;kcv l;kv ;v 

You know how I have a fucking RAINBOW DASH SHIPPING ANALYSIS POST ON HERE?

EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT SHIP RAINBOW DASH WITH MANY PONIES IF AT ALL (and those I hint at are mostly jokes/I wouldn't mind them)

WELL, THANKS TO A CERTAIN MOST RECENT EPISODE, I NOW FEEL INCLINED TO JUST WRITE UP A GIANT POST ABOUT RAINBOW DASH IN GENERAL! LIKE HER CHARACTER ARC, HER DREAM, HER BEHAVIOUR IN THE SHOW, WHAT SHE STANDS FOR AND SUCH!

FOR WHAT REASON SHOULD I PUT SO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT IN THIS WHEN SHE IS NOT EVEN MY FAVOURITE PONY? AND FUCK YOU SPELLCHECK YOU UNCANADIAN BASTARD, IT'S WITH A U~!

RAINBOW DASH ISN'T EVEN MY THIRD FAVOURITE PONY!

But her episodes have been up and down, sideways, inside-out, backwards, eviscerated, taxidermy'd, and dissected beyond all you can imagine, and I guess this single feeling where I need to express my opinion in an absolute wall-of-text outburst is causing this rant. SO HERE WE GO THEN, when I could be writing my story or fixing my story or talking about something else completely, but I guess ranting about RWBY is bad for my health at this rate, or ranting about a certain MLP episode, we might as well dedicate this post to RAINBOW DASH. Congratu-fucking-lations Rainbow Dash, you stupid pony you. You stupid inconsistent, poorly-treated, brain-exploding, unfathomable pony you. IT IS TIME. YOUR EGO, WHATEVER STATE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE NOWADAYS, SHALL BE TESTED.

Once upon a time there was a pegasus with a rainbow mane and a penchant for going fast with the childhood dream of joining the Wonderbolts. the flying horse version of the Blue Angels. In an alternate universe she was fashionable and Rarity, but here in the decent utopia that is Equestria, she is fast, she is loyal, she is athletic, she is RAINBOW DASH. She's the creator of this generation of My Little Pony's favourite! And it's actually easy to see if you take a look at season one, when Lauren Faust had full reigns of the show. After all, beyond Fall Weather Friends that eventually put equal blame to the cheating game on both Rainbow and Applejack, Rainbow Dash had a season to remember. No real moment of humiliation or embarrassment. Why, if you called Rainbow Dash awesome, it would be true. In Sonic Rainboom, she manages to save Rarity and the Wonderbolts from plummeting to her doom, simultaneously proving to the crowd that the Sonic Rainboom is not a fable at all, and the myth in fact originated from the same mare who managed the same feat as a filly! She also won the competition and was given a day to spend with the Wonderbolts.

Like dang, just call the episode THE GREATEST DAY OF RAINBOW DASH'S LIFE, why don't ya?

Then of course, in Cutie Mark Chronicles, Rainbow Dash is apparently THE PONY THAT STARTED IT ALL. Why, these Elements of Harmony would never have existed, would never have become friends, would never have come together to save the world multiple times, had it not been for the SHEER AWESOMENESS, of Rainbow Dash. Equestria as we know it would no longer exist, would be a horrible dystopia ruled by tyrants and villains alike had that Sonic Rainboom not come about. There was even a whole finale showcasing grimdark scenarios should this pony not be awesome enough to save it from its otherwise inevitable doom. Like dang, if anybody in any world, fiction or not, had any excuse to have a ginormous ego, Rainbow Dash's had the most. She is the reason the world functions at all! THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE.

And that's it. That's season one. Sure she had this Gala where she tried her utmost to get the Wonderbolt's attention and sort of ruined the Gala as a result, but she shared this shame with all her friends, which in the end was the intention of the ruler of the world, Celestia! So all is well and justified. How awesome you are, Rainbow Dash.

My next point here is rather irrelevant, but considering how much of an ego RD must have by now, I always wonder why especially in the Equestria Girls universe that everyone just pumps up RD's awesomeness. For instance in Rainbow Rocks (OF COURSE THIS MOVIE IS CALLED THIS) Sunset is trying to explain why everyone is ponying up with the mysterious Equestrian magic, and Dash explains that it happens because she is awesome. Sunset does not believe so, but still goes to the effort of reminding her that Rainbow Dash is indeed awesome regardless, like if you did not mention this it would imply that RD is not awesome and that would tear her world apart or something. SEVERAL MINUTES LATER IN THIS SAME MOVIE, Rainbow Dash sings the song "Awesome As I Wanna Be" with all spotlights and attention on her, and everyone is annoyed at this behaviour. WELL OF COURSE SHE'D ACT LIKE THIS IF YOU ENABLE HER TO. YOU ENABLE HER TO HAVE THIS EGO, AND THEN YOU TURN AROUND AND TRAMPLE ON HER FACE, ARGUING LIKE LITTLE HISSY FITS BECAUSE SHE IS SHOWCASING THE EGO YOU CAUSED!? AND THE FUNNY THING IS, WHEN SHE SINGS THIS SONG SHE STARTS PONYING UP ANYWAY. MAYBE BEING AWESOME IS WHAT CAUSES RAINBOW DASH TO BECOME AN ANTHRO! THE MOVIE SURE IMPLIES IT!

And then in season two, we had the PET episode. Why yes, this pet episode where Rainbow Dash MUST HAVE THE COOLEST, MOST AWESOME PET. And to do so, she must hold a RADICAL COMPETITION. Now a few ponies, namely Twilight, makes feeble attempts at reminding Rainbow Dash that pets are meant to have feelings and having one isn't all about a competition or sht, but Dash ignores her anyway for the show must go on. Fluttershy doesn't appear to have any issues with these animals racing through a gorge into many many hazardous traps and creatures, but whatever. Otherwise, everyone pretty much supports and ENABLES Dash's need to a cool pet. Of course thanks to Tank's very resilient existence, Rainbow Dash learns that the coolest pet isn't so much the fastest or snazziest, but in fact the one who exemplifies the greatest loyalty, matching Rainbow Dash's highest virtue. BUT WAIT, just because he is a tortoise means nothing, for we can add magic steampunk technology to allow Tank to fly anyway, so he ends up STILL BEING A PRETTY FREAKIN' COOL PET anyway, who is also loyal.

Well dang Rainbow Dash, everything's just sunshine and smiles for you, isn't it.

Do you see what is happening now? You have made Rainbow Dash too awesome. It has reached a critical point. From here on out, the job of the show is now to TEAR THIS FRONT APART. She is not awesome, she is insecure. She is not awesome, she is haughty, cocky, and arrogant! In fact aside from the whole "EVERYONE'S A JERK" problem I have with Mysterious Mare-Do-Well, the biggest reason it may be so very controversial is that it's the first time the series now has to tear down Rainbow Dash... because she is too dangerously awesome.

So now, we must rev up Rainbow Dash's cockiness a bit. She hasn't shown it much to this degree, but it isn't unbelievable for Dash to act like this. I mean, up to now her entire life has been pretty much awesome. Well, aside from maybe the whole dropping out of flight school thing and becoming a weather pony because of laziness or something. Say, whatever happened to that flaw of hers? It's like they forgot and just wanted to focus on destroying her behemoth ego that the ponies and writers around her CAUSED THEMSELVES. I find it interesting the show begins doing this the moment Lauren Faust has less and less say into the show. I mean, I'm sure she too wanted RD to have some episodes that gave her some humble pie and allowed her to come down to earth a little, but maybe not quite in this way,

In the end it's mostly about what your very subjective opinion on Mysterious Mare-Do-Well is, still, the story is pretty blunt. Her friends are fed up with her showboating, so they showboat back to teach her a lesson, and it's a pretty rough teardown. It's like instead of approaching her in some sort of intervention they just scheme and do it the underhanded way behind her back because Rainbow Dash isn't the type of pony to listen to ponies talking to her. I mean, she really isn't, but it would have been nice if the episode included a scene of them trying at least. I guess it has been established, like say in the aforementioned pet episode, that Twilight in particular tried to approach Rainbow Dash in a reasonable manner before and that did nothing.

So yes, take matters into their own hooves they did. And now Rainbow Dash has been knocked down a peg. We move on.

Ah, a reading episode. It's a TV Show, so they must remind their young viewers that books exist too! Even though Twilight is the main character, lives in a library and loves books to death, this aesop that is all over the place in many kids shows alike must be given its time of day in MLP too! Because having fun isn't hard when you have a library card! Does anyone even go to the library? What does Twilight even do? Is she even a librarian? Questions that will never have answers now that the library is sadly no more...

Anyway, it's mostly directed to kids with the attitude of being TOO COOL TO READ, and Rainbow Dash is the prime example. Now, I personally believe reading is fun and excellent and a lovely activity, and yes it's a very stereotypically nerdy activity, but in this day and age I don't know what sort of inhuman alien would look at a book and declare it's uncool without at the very least, knowing what the book is about. There's plenty of super amazing movies out there based on books that it feels the entire populace has read, so it's almost like why have this lesson at all? 

I digress.

Of course it's fine to teach Rainbow that reading is cool. In fact, having the main character basically be an RD recolour is genius, since for some people books are an outlet to the imaginary land where they can be the cool awesome hero themselves they never could be in real life because they work a dead end job and have no real aspirations or their dreams died years ago. Unfortunately Rainbow Dash is not that type of pony. She is very awesome you see, so it's actually sort of strange that she looks up to this other pony going about finding treasure and fighting this bad guy when she herself can cause sonic rainbooms by breaking sound barriers and take down villains by being herself. Ah well, it's still a good parallel to how people may take reading in real life, so it works! 

Y'know, except the part where she believes reading is so uncool, her dear closest friends must never know. And in order to not embarrass herself, or God Forbid allow Twilight to be RIGHT must break into a hospital and STEAL the book. It's like, well, what happened to awesome perfect Rainbow Dash? You already wrecked her in Mare Do Well and she already made a fool of herself in the whole town, but now Rainbow Dash resorts to, as Twilight said herself, "petty thievery". Are we done yet? Is it time to go back to those episodes that gave RD reasons to be a cocky little shit? Actually, let's  visit a not-Rainbow Dash episode, Hurricane Fluttershy.

Ah, Hurricane Fluttershy, how much I love thee. Let me list the reasons why. Or not because sadly this isn't a Hurricane Fluttershy love-post. I will note one good thing from it though, that it has a wonderful Rainbow Dash in it. I'm not sure where she learned these lessons, perhaps the tortoise as her pet was a good example, or the heavyhanded way her friends taught her to be humble in Mare-Do-Well actually worked, especially when the very episode after when she saved Rarity and Spike from certain doom she regarded it as just another job well done as opposed to making everything about herself. Or maybe over-time getting to know Fluttershy better she has understood her as a pony more. After all, it was Pinkie Pie who reminded her not to prank Fluttershy because of her sensitivity way back when, and her impatience and general rudeness to the other pegasus in Dragonshy did not make matters any better. In fact, her gung-ho method of dealing with a giant fire-breathing dragon almost had them all killed had it not been for Fluttershy.

So with all that developing out of the way we end up with Hurricane Fluttershy Rainbow Dash. Someone who almost regresses to her impatient, insensitive ways, but catches herself and does everything in her power to involve Fluttershy with the very pegasus duty to send water off to Cloudsdale. We don't want any of 'em droughts ruining cider-season after all. She is considerate and she cares. Even if all Fluttershy contributes is a measly 2.3 wingpower or whatever, she still wants her help, she still NEEDS her help. And when Fluttershy still runs off crying, she doesn't continue to goad her or bother her, after all she has a job. With every pegasus coming down with the flu she cannot even break the wingpower record, BUT NO MATTER, for the most important thing is to bring water to Cloudsdale! And she did EVERYTHING IN HER POWER, TO NEVER GIVE UP, TO NEVER SURRENDER, NEVER FORGET--oh right, to make sure at the very least they had water! It was essential! It was a necessity! She would very well know this, being a weather-pony!

And when Fluttershy does come back and does help, and they do accomplish what they do. What does Rainbow Dash do? She informs Spitfire, her Wonderbolt hero, that Fluttershy was the one who accomplished it. THAT IS AMAZING. WHAT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. THE THINGS SHE'S LEARNED HAS ACCUMULATED TO THIS!

And...it doesn't stop! It appears Rainbow Dash is not only awesome as a fast, athletic flier, but also a decent caring individual as well! It's quite the showing, I'd say. We come to season three, generally disliked amongst the fandom, but it continues the wonderful showing of Rainbow Dash. She adopts Scootaloo as an honourary sister! She is like a pupil to her, an idolized figure to the little tike. And why not? Rainbow Dash sure seems like quite the upstanding mare after all! She even somehow knew despite her earplugs and obnoxious whinny-of-a-snore to save Scootaloo from certain death quite a ways-away from the cave they were camping in! What can this pegasus NOT DO!? MY GOD!

And then...Wonderbolts Academy happened.

I love this episode. This may very well be my all-time favourite Rainbow Dash episode. It's basically the episode where Rainbow Dash shows off her character development next to a pony who she could have been had she not gone through these two and a half seasons of development. It's brilliant! That she would give up her dream if it meant being a Wonderbolt was not what she thought she'd be, someone who understood the values and integrity of friendship, of loyalty, beyond just brainless speed and reckless behaviour. Having to save all of her friends in doing so, when she was half-the-reason they could have died. It's just. THIS IS THE EPITOME OF RAINBOW DASH AND ALL SHE HAS GONE THROUGH. SHE IS AWESOME AGAIN EVERYONE! LET US PLAN A PARADE!

Well, it's time for season four. Let's return to the topic of Scootaloo. Poor, poor Scootaloo. She may never fly because well, she may have been born never being able to, but that doesn't mean she should let nasty awful evil little bullies to get to her, to depress her, to ruin her self-esteem, her dreams, her self-image. Have I mentioned Scoots is my favourite CMC? Sleepless in Ponyville is like my second favourite episode in the entire series after all, and now we've come to the rather serious Flight to the Finish. It's like Hurricane Fluttershy! Rainbow Dash, the perfect, wonderful lovely pony, a great and ideal pegasus to look up to! And here she is, reminding Scootaloo that she should not be bothered by those comments. She can still be the best, be whoever she wants, whether she flies or not because it doesn't matter. It was Rainbow Dash who convinced Scootaloo of this, despite flying the entire time, despite being someone with such incredible ability that Scootaloo cannot with her maybe disability, but still, it works, and it's great, and it's... I know it sounds like I'm gushing, but I must, I TRULY MUST CONVEY TO YOU HOW INCREDIBLE IT IS that Rainbow Dash DOESN'T CARE whether Scoots can fly or not. IT SPEAKS OF HER CHARACTER SO MUCH.

Now we come to the worst episode of the entire series.

You're probably genuinely surprised that I do not regard Filli Vanilli as the worst episode in the entire series. I don't! Amazing, I know. Yes, it has a craptacular Pinkie Pie, but the rest of the episode should not be dragged down just for that one rage-inducing aspect. The songs are good. I like Flutterguy. Hearing Big Mac sing is great, seeing Rarity get to use her voice is awesome too, and look! A Zecora! How rare. Of course Filli Vanilli is still one of my least favourites, so... moving on.

And you're also probably genuinely surprised that Cutie Re-Mark pt. II also doesn't have this distinction because dang, my unhappiness of how they solved that problem and quickly and poorly redeemed that character is also at near rage-inducing levels of the craptacular Pinkie Pie. IT JUST DOESN'T COMPUTE, OKAY? But still, it is not the worst episode.

No, Rainbow Falls is.

Let's talk about the Wonderbolts. In the very first episode, Dash makes it very clear of her dream to be in the Wonderbolts. In season one the Wonderbolts retain their distinction of being awesome and cool celebrities, but there were hints of what was to come. In Sonic Rainboom Rarity somehow managed to knock all three Wonderbolts unconscious as they tried to save her. All THREE. If it had just been one, sure, two? Well maybe Rarity has a hind-kick that rivals Applejack, three? Well at that point Rarity might be grasping the idiot ball too obviously, to make sure that Rainbow Dash and ONLY Rainbow Dash ends up saving her so she can solve all her problems in one fell swoop, or Sonic Rainboom I should say. Anyway an unfortunate side-effect is that the Wonderbolts are rendered useless in this instance. We know the strong importance of show versus telling, so we have to make sure if the Wonderbolts are as awesome as Rainbow Dash always gushes of, we must see it for ourselves to seal the deal in our heads.

Season two rolls along and... they fail to do anything to Spike-Zilla. I guess they give him a haircut, but he stops them pretty easily. That's two-for-two already, sort of not a great track record so far. Will the Wonderbolts do ANYTHING to show us they deserve such a reputation? Then we come to arguably Hurricane Fluttershy's one flaw, Spitfire doing nothing. For a long time I wondered why people argued about this because I thought maybe this was a Ponyville duty and Spitfire intervening would not do. She might just organize a whole crowd of other pegasi somewhere else, like Fillydelphia or something if they can't do it, but then that would not explain Rainbow Dash's desperation. She's not even trying to break a record anymore. It's pretty heavily implied that there would be no water in Cloudsdale and thus NO RAIN, if the Ponyville pegasi cannot make the cyclone, so if it's that urgent and important, why not have Spitfire jump in? The only reason I have is thus, if she did we'd otherwise not be able to give Fluttershy her limelight so she may accomplish what she does and satisfy her otherwise pitiful self-esteem (and childhood traumas and such). But again, it leaves us a bad taste for Spitfire and therefore the Wonderbolts. Was she neglectful of her duty?

Wonderbolts Academy comes along and some people are baffled at Spitfire's "personality-change". It may be confusing yes, especially since it appears she has a new voice-actress although according to the wiki Spitfire's voice has been the same since the Gala, so who knows. The point is, she is now a drill-sergeant, and this aspect of her character sort of sticks throughout the rest of her appearances. I guess her previous cameos didn't have enough of a personality or something. I'm fine with it because if the Wonderbolts is supposed to be pseudo-military, and this is meant to be a boot camp, it wouldn't make sense for her to show favouritism towards Dash no matter what she's done. She's still gotta be treated and go through everything else that every other recruit has to suffer through. That's just how it is. But apparently these Wonderbolts instructors were not thorough enough to realize Lightning Dust's shortcomings. Did Spitfire purposefully put Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust together with Dash as the wingpony to teach Rainbow Dash something? But we already argued against giving her favouritism, so why do the complete opposite and make Rainbow Dash the wingpony? What has Lightning Dust shown that gives her any advantage over Rainbow Dash?

Apparently, showing off and going beyond what the instructor says in the demonstrations is okay. This is not a quality you want to have, to award Lightning Dust for it seems odd. Or maybe that is a test too, to see if Lightning Dust has the ability to be a leader since you already saw Rainbow Dash be one, and see if Rainbow Dash is able to be a follower. That may be it! I do feel like I am grasping for straws because I DO love this episode, and this is a fairly benign problem, by my standards anyway. Still if we DON'T think so hard about it and take it at face value, when Spitfire tells Rainbow Dash they chose Lightning Dust as the leader because she likes to go beyond, it tells us they did not have the foresight to see Lightning Dust's shortcomings, somehow missed all those exercises where they screwed the only ponies over, and basically make them seem a little more incompetent than they should be. But y'know, if this wasn't the case that tornado never would have happened, and would never have almost killed RD's friends, and would never have caused RD to almost quit, showing the real upstanding type of attitude a Wonderbolt SHOULD have.

So, who knows.

Then we come back to Rainbow Falls. Oh sure, I can ramble on-and-on about how awful the rest of the episode is. Pinkie's entire screentime is just shrieking. Rarity made ugly dresses for some reason, and cannot tell with her own eyes. Applejack is being obnoxious and forcing apple treats into people's mouths, seems a bit off these three ponies are. Or maybe the perpetually anxious Fluttershy and STEROIDS PEGASUS being involved in the PONY OLYMPICS IN A RELAY RACE because apparently Rainbow Dash is so awesome she can overcome their shortcomings and keep the team competitive, and conveniently the rest of the able pegasi of Ponyville prefer all the other events over the relay. But despite the fact that I POINTED ALL THAT OUT, this isn't about that.

We just had an episode where Rainbow Dash exemplified the traits needed to be a Wonderbolt, not just being fast, but being a general decent all-around good pony. SO HOW THE FUCK DID SPITFIRE AND FLEETFOOT PASS THEIR BOOTCAMP? They throw Soarin' under the bus and try to pry Rainbow Dash away from Ponyville, abandon her friends so their already unstoppable team can be even more unstoppable, despite there being other Wonderbolts they can choose from. Or maybe THEY TOO are in other events, we don't know. They didn't say! And Rainbow Dash instead of realizing her heroes, her idols, her Wonderbolts are being absolute pricks, the complete opposite of the show's message, FRIENDSHIP, when she almost gave up being a Wonderbolt BECAUSE it felt like they did value the integrity needed to be a Wonderbolt, tries to make a shitty poor excuse where she BREAKS EVERYTHING, so she can't disappoint anyone because she really, really wants to be on the team with the Wonderbolts. She's just conflicted by her loyalty to the hopeless and nonsensical Ponyville team that just drafted in a clumsy lazy-eyed pegasus known for endearingly messing up everything to be her replacement. 

I just don't even.

I guess Rainbow Dash was too awesome so they had to press the reset button again or something, but the Wonderbolts, her dream-team really hasn't at any single time been portrayed positively, that would allow Rainbow Dash's dream of being one of them believable because so far they've either been incompetent or jerks! It doesn't even stop here! Sometimes I wonder if that made up Shadowbolt team would have made more sense than this at this rate, Jesus!

...I forgot about Daring Don't didn't I.

Ugh. I don't wanna do Daring Don't.

Rainbow Dash and reading because we need to teach kids too cool to read to read? Fine. Rainbow Dash's fictional hero being non-fictional all of a sudden? Well that sure tones down Rainbow Dash's accomplishments. Apparently she's got a lookalike with duller colours going around stealing treasures and fighting off a strange and weird Egyptian creature like Ahuizolti, where doom and devastation can occur if Daring Do is not there, and Rainbow Dash can intrude in her life enough to end up in the book herself, validating all the self-insert fantasies in every fanfiction ever OH GOD IT'S MY WORST NIGHTMARE LET'S JUST MOVE ON. The awesome pony that can break sound barriers and save the world multiple times is an obnoxious nerdy fangirl that wants to go adventures with her hero ignoring the life she has that frankly from what we've seen has been SO MUCH MORE HEROIC AND INTERESTING, but I guess when you're in that situation you don't really know what you have, and more often marvel at others instead. So whatever this episode is okay. 

Then we have maybe my most favourite moral yet in Testing, Testing One, Two, Three. We could have easily just had Rainbow Dash be dumb. I mean the dumb jock trope is everywhere. She's awesome enough she doesn't need to be a studying prodigy on top of being quite possibly the greatest flier in the history of Equestria. But unlike the reading one which was obvious, predictable, and meh, we learn that Rainbow Dash's method of learning is rather unorthodox, it may even explain how she dropped out of flight school. She just can't focus in a traditional school setting, and though it's awfully nice of the entire town to help teach Rainbow Dash the history of the Wonderbolts, it's nice that it focuses on something like this so kids who are struggling can realize that maybe they aren't dumb after all, they just learn differently.

I mean obviously there are dumb kids, but this episode is not for them. P:

We are in muddy waters here. Rainbow Dash has been brought back to earth again! But like any pegasi, she must fly and reach for the top. Testing, Testing One, Two, Three does establish she is not dumb, and can ace tests so maybe Rainbow Dash IS awesome again. I'm very confused where in this cycle we are. I guess the latter is true because we're certainly not due for another "RAINBOW DASH IS AWESOME BEYOND ALL MEASURE" episode. We have instead, Tanks for the Memories. This may not be the fault of Rainbow Dash herself, but just the very fact that this is a show meant for young children...and despite other shows not shying away from the topic of death, apparently that is too much for the technicolour horsie show. Y'know despite that one time when Twilight murdered several Pinkies, or that time Luna created a being to punish herself. Or maybe the episode before yesterday's Rainbow Dash episode, where Trixie almost commited suicide. But oh no, let's not have an episode about a pet dying even though kids have either already have or will go through a death some time or another, like maybe of a hamster or a grandparent passing away or what have you. 

But that doesn't mean we CAN HAVE THE MORAL ANYWAY. Guys. This isn't Pinkie Pie. You can't have the cake and eat it too! By having Tank NOT die, now Rainbow Dash looks like a colossally immature fool. We're supposed to believe this same mare was responsible for transferring the water to Cloudsdale so Ponyville can HAVE RAIN and would throw away her competitive spirit just to make sure such an essential duty was complete, but will sabotage the Weather Factory and BREAK EVERYTHING, costing millions of bits in damage and ruining what forecasts they have planned in the future just so her tortoise won't sleep for three months!? REALLY GUYS? You lucky I love that crying scene so much. And no, a solo song does nothing to make this flaw go away.

Well, I suppose the CYCLE MUST GO ON. In this case, our next relevant Rainbow Dash episode (I am ignoring Gilda. She is not relevant. In fact Daring Don't isn't relevant either, why do I have that here?) is Rarity Investigates. And yes, this again is a return to Rainbow Dash being awesome, even if she's rather impatient of Rarity's antics, thinking she is doing nothing to improve the situation. This episode is also another example of the Wonderbolts being worth jack for their so-called reputation. A letter with no return address shows up and convinces Spitfire her mom is sick, so instead of confirming this for herself she will immediately head to the Crystal Mountains or whatever to find the cure first. The rest of the Wonderbolts immediately accuse Rainbow Dash, and assign RD herself to solve the problem if she wants to stay in the reserves, solely because she has a motive. No real concrete evidence, just a motive. And yeah, she has no alibi but I'm willing to bet EVERYBODY ELSE was doing the same thing, sleeping because it was the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. What are these stupid show-pegasi doing? You can't stay unless you prove your own innocence of something you did not do? Rainbow Dash is a professional flier, not a goddamn private investigator. She's lucky Rarity was there when she was, egads!

But the awesomeness comes in the form of Rainbow refusing to take part with the Wonderbolts' show without Spitfire, and going out there and being awesome enough to retrieve her in time for it anyway, thus earning enough good karma for them to kick out Wind Rider and having Rainbow Dash replace him! In this case she did have her cake and eat it too! Isn't that amazing? This is the Hurricane Fluttershy, Wonderbolts Academy, Flight to the Finish Rainbow Dash I remember! Yay! And yet another negative blow for the Wonderbolts. For instance, one of the greatest Wonderbolts, Wind Rider who is now near retirement or already retired being sleazy enough to pull this stunt, and keeping up with this same shitty attitude. Does this mean he's done this before and gotten away with it? Well geez no wonder the Wonderbolts are full of assholes, this guy slipped through the cracks so many damn times! At this rate I wouldn't be surprised if the Wonderbolts were just a bunch of Lance Armstrongs. 

And I guess the pattern must go on they say because now we arrive to yesterday's episode, Newbie Dash.

I know every other character goes through this sort of thing too, though not in quite such a methodical manner. Sometimes a character teaches the lesson and sometimes they learn the lesson themselves, but the extremes Rainbow Dash goes through is unmatched. She is either amazing wonderful great role-model Rainbow Dash, or immature destructive selfish egotistical idiot Rainbow Dash. You may say every character has their flaws, but why is it like an episode-to-episode basis? Why is one day we get idiot Dash and next day we get cool Dash? Is a normal realistic person not meant to be a well-balanced mix? It's like she turns off her brain on some days or something, I do not understand!

Well yesterday she turned off her brain! I have attempted to rant about it three times, failed, and instead just decided to go through an entire Rainbow Dash analysis instead! What a turn of events I say! I know what the writers were TRYING to do. The moral is when you go up the ranks of whatever you love, whatever you're talented in you're no longer the one who stands out for what you do. In Ponyville Rainbow Dash is the best flier, no dice about it. In the Wonderbolts which she has just been accepted to, she is now surrounded by peers with the same kind of talent level. Rainbow Dash can no longer bask in her glory as being the best, as now EVERYONE is the best, so she goes to extreme measures to find some other way of calling attention to herself and having all the glory, which doesn't make sense because you are practically in a showboating military! 

Yet still, the way she goes about it is quite possibly both nonsensical nor is it especially funny. It's funny a few times, but not in a way that I think is believable for Dash's character. She doesn't want to be known as Rainbow Crash for the rest of eternity in the Wonderbolts, so she tries to act different to change her reputation. And her method of doing so is... acting like her friends. She must think highly of her friends...and subsequently not think highly of them because as amusing as her impressions are (the one she did to mock Twilight in season five is perfect) she also seems to choose the most exaggerated aspects of their characters to imitate, so I'm not entirely sure what she is even trying to do. It's like she turned off her brain. She also KEEPS GOING. Oh, the first three times didn't work? TRY TWO MORE TIMES. Oh, every impression didn't work? Go against every single protocol and rule, like not looking both ways despite being specifically reminded beforehand (and even blaming her mistakes on others!) and even alter the show they were performing just because she can't stand to NOT STAND OUT around her idols, dream ponies, and what have you. It's JUST A BIT TO OUTRAGEOUS FOR ME TO SWALLOW. Why are you being an idiot again! You just demonstrated your amazingness last season by fetching Spitfire instead of taking her place! Such leadership! Again, I can see the moral needing to be delivered to the viewers, but the execution, the manner in which they did so just wasn't good!

Oh and the Wonderbolts suck again, or DO THEY?

The ending is the only thing that saves this episode, thankfully. The humiliation conga-line aside, the fact that everyone has embarrassing nicknames showcases that well, this was just a kid-friendly way of hazing the new kid. (It's Tanks for the Memories all over again isn't it? Can't show the full extent of the hazing, so just do it half-way and it looks more like schoolyard bullying instead. These gluttonous writers and directors and their freakin' cake, I swear) I mean it doesn't help that the very juvenile Rainbow Crash nickname is used instead of something more clever and new. It's like if you were called a doodoohead as a kindergartner, and now your co-workers and boss call you a doodoohead. Yeeeeeah. And to be fair, Rainbow Dash does own up to it. She'll take any punishment she deserves. I guess momentous lapses in judgment are just part of Rainbow Dash's character now. Maybe if I accepted that this entire rant wouldn't need to exist.

No fuck it. I don't care if I'm sick and all this non-stop typing is wrecking my shoulder. THE RANT EXISTS. NO REGRETS!! I'll be up in less than seven hours everybody! May the stress not be with you.
spotto: (Q_Q)
PONES!!

EVERY EPISODE HAS ITS FLAWS, UNLESS IT DOESN'T

I'M GOING TO NAME AS MANY AS I CAN AND JUSTIFY THEM IN AS LITTLE WORDS AS I AM ABLE TO

WITH CAPS LOCK ON THE ENTIRE TIME

READY? STEADY? GO!

1&2. THE PILOT IS EXTREMELY FORMULAIC. BOOK OF LORE. GO TO PONYVILLE. MEET FIVE PONIES. EVIL BOSS SHOWS UP. QUEST TO THE CASTLE WHERE EVIL BOSS IS WITH THESE FIVE PONIES. DEFEAT THEM WITH MAGIC MACGUFFIN. 

3. TICKET MASTER WAS BORING. THE WEEKENDERS DID IT BETTER.

4. APPLEBUCK SEASON'S APPLEJACK'S VOICE WAS TOO HIGH IDK. UNICORNS OP. APPLEJACK PURPOSEFULLY PUTTING WORMS IN HER COOKING IS BEYOND SLEEP DEPRIVATION AND ENTERING DELUSIONAL PSYCHEDELIC LEVELS OF CRAZY.

5. GRIFFON THE BRUSH-OFF WAS PERFECT. YEP. I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BAD TO SAY ABOUT THIS EPISODE. I SUPPOSE IT WASN'T OUTSTANDING? SORT OF AVERAGE? NOT THE GREATEST OF HUMOUR? RATHER SUBJECTIVE. GILDA'S A ONE-DIMENSIONAL BULLY? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME I LIKED THIS EPISODE.

6. PINKIE AND FLUTTERSHY HAD ZERO LINES. BLASPHEMY!

7. UNLESS THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF PONIES ASKING DRAGONS TO LEAVE AND THE IDEA ACTUALLY WORKING RUINS DRAGONS IN THIS SERIES FOR YOU, THERE IS NO REAL FLAW.

8. TWILIGHT WAS NAIVE AS FUCK.

9. BRIDLE GOSSIP WAS THE FUNNIEST EPISODE IN SEASON ONE. ALTERNATE OPINIONS ARE WRONG.

10. BOTH SIDES WERE OF EQUAL FAULT IN SWARM OF THE CENTURY. THEY HAD A COMMUNICATION FAILURE. PINKIE NOT EXPLAINING ANYTHING IN GENERAL AND THE REST OF THEM NOT TAKING HER SERIOUSLY ENOUGH TO EVEN ASK.

'11. ITTY BITTY TWINKIE PINKIE' WAS INDEED TOO SACCHARINE FOR MY EARS. ALSO SPIKE WAS A DICK. HILARIOUS, BUT A DICK.

12. TWIST IS INTRODUCED SOLELY TO BECOME IRRELEVANT. SCOOTALOO AND SWEETIE BELLE PHASED INTO EXISTENCE AND WERE SUDDENLY INSERTED INTO APPLE BLOOM'S CLASS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE YEAR. (BESIDES THAT NONSENSICAL SCENE WHERE THEY WERE COWERING IN FEAR TOGETHER IN THE PILOT, BUT LET'S IGNORE THAT)

13. NO ONE OUTSIDE OF APPLEJACK AND RAINBOW DASH CARE THAT THEY WERE CHEATING. AT ALL. WHAT THE SHIT.

14. THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF THE MANE FIVE ARE NOT SELF-AWARE ENOUGH TO REALIZE HOW HIDEOUS ALL OF THEIR DRESSES WERE. EVEN IF THEY LIKED THEIR OWN THEY WOULD NO DOUBT REALIZE HOW AWFUL THE OTHERS WERE. EXCEPT PINKIE. 

15. I HAD NO PROBLEM WITH THE MORAL IN THIS EPISODE, EXCEPT MAYBE IT WAS TOO VAGUE AND THAT MIGHT HAVE LEAD TO SOME CONTROVERSY. 

16. RARITY MAY BE VAIN ENOUGH TO NOT REALIZE HOW MUCH SHE WAS SABOTAGING DASH'S DREAM IN SONIC RAINBOOM, BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS FASHION DESIGNER COULD COME UP WITH SUCH A HORRID OUTFIT AND NOT REALIZE THE EXTENT OF HER ATROCITY BEING EXPOSED TO ALL OF CLOUDSDALE.

17. UNTIL SOMEONE POINTED IT OUT, I DID NOT REALIZE HOW MANY TIMES THE WRONG VOICE SYNCED WITH THE WRONG CMC. 

18. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU OR THE PLOT SAYS. SWEETIE BELLE'S OUTFIT WAS CUTE.

19. RARITY KNEW ALL ALONG HOW STUPID THE DIAMOND DOGS WERE, AND SO KNEW HER WHINING WOULD DEFEAT THEM. THE MESSAGE ISN'T "BITCH AND MOAN ALL DAY AND YOU'LL OUTWIT YOUR CAPTORS" BUT SIMPLY "YOU CAN USE BRAIN INSTEAD OF BRAWN TO OUTWIT YOUR CAPTORS" ADMITTEDLY THEY MAY NOT HAVE DELIVERED THEIR MORAL WELL.

20. GREEN ISN'T YOUR COLOUR IS PERFECT. GOOD DAY.

21. THIS ENTIRE PREMISE IS TOUCHY AND THE WRITERS APPROACHED THE ISSUE IN THE LEAST DARING, MOST BENIGN MANNER POSSIBLE THAT THIS EPISODE MIGHT AS WELL BE ENTIRELY IGNORED. FORTUNATELY THE HUMOUR WAS (MOSTLY) ON POINT, EXCEPT FOR PINKIE'S SINGING, AND THE FLUTTERSHY GLOMP IS THE GREATEST SCENE EVER.

22. THAT YAKETY SAX SCENE WAS THE LEAST ENTERTAINING YAKETY SAX SCENE I'VE SEEN.

23. WHAT IS THIS PLACE FILLED WITH SO MANY WONDERS? CASTING ITS SPELL THAT I AM NOW UNDER! SQUIRRELS IN THE TREES AND THE CUTE LITTLE BUNNIES~ BIRDS FLYING FREE AND THE BEES WITH THEIR HONEY! HOOOOOOOOONEY! OH WHAT A MAGICAL PLACE. AND I OWE IT ALL TO THE PEGASUS RACE! IF I KNEW THE GROUND HAD SO MUCH UP ITS SLEEVE, I'D HAVE COME HERE SOONER, AND NEVER LEAVE! YES. I. LOVE. EVERYYYYYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!! (THIS IS THE FIRST MLP SONG I MEMORIZED BY HEART)

24. THE FIRST OF MANY BORING, MEDIOCRE, DIGNITY-DESTROYING SPIKE EPISODES.

25. PARTY OF ONE IS FLAWLESS.

26. FOR SOME REASON THIS IS STILL THE BEST WRITTEN FINALE OF THE SERIES.

-

1&2. DISCORDED PINKIE COULD'VE BEEN LESS ONE-DIMENSIONAL. UNLESS THE SHOW IS BEING META AND THE OPPOSITE OF PINKIE IS ONE-DIMENSIONAL. I LIKE THAT HEADCANON.

3. PARTY OF ONE ALREADY DID IT, BUT OTHERWISE IT WAS FUNNY. BALLOONS IN MY BASKET IS THE MOST UNDERRATED SCENE AND SONG IN THE ENTIRE SERIES/FANDOM RESPECTIVELY.

4. THIS EPISODE WAS FLAWLE--OKAY, THERE WAS A LOT OF MISCOMMUNICATION ESPECIALLY ON PINKIE'S PART, WHO ESSENTIALLY FAILED TO COMMUNICATE AT ALL. INSTEAD OF BEING WISE AND FIXING THE PROBLEM ANYWAY LIKE IN EPISODE TEN SHE ONLY SERVED TO DRIVE THE CONFLICT, BUT I AM PERSONALLY OKAY WITH IT.

5. WHY IS SWEETIE BELLE FRAMED AS THE CORRECT ONE IN THIS EPISODE? RARITY HAS TO KEEP HER BUSINESS RUNNING BUT APPARENTLY MAKING THE CUTE LITTLE SISTER UPSET IS A HUGE SIN THAT RARITY MUST MAKE UP FOR. I STILL LIKED THE EPISODE THOUGH BECAUSE IT PORTRAYED A SIBLING RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS LESS IDEAL THAN APPLEJACK'S.

6. I DON'T REMEMBER THIS EPISODE BEING MEMORABLE.

7. TANK WAS VERY PREDICTABLE, BUT IT WAS HEARTWARMING ALL THE SAME.

8. EVERYONE'S AN ASSHOLE. 

9. DANG RARITY YOU ONE LUCKY SON OF A BITCH. 

10. I WISH PINKIE'S APARTMENT BEING BLOWN AWAY HAD MORE LASTING EFFECT. OH WELL.

11, HOW ON EARTH DID THE MOST COMPETENT PONIES IN THIS STORY ONLY END UP BEING ADVISORS OR SIDEKICKS? NO WONDER THEY WERE FUCKED.

12. JESUS CHRIST GRANNY SMITH IS THREE-HUNDRED-YEARS-OLD. SHE'S A WITCH!

13. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY.
SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GOD
 
14. DERPY WAS NOT THE MOST INTERESTING PART OF THIS EPISODE. SHE ISN'T EVEN THE SECOND MOST INTERESTING, OR EVEN THE FIFTH. SCREW YOU TOO.

15. HOW TO BUSINESS? WHATEVER THE EPISODE WAS FUNNY AND HAD COOL SONG, WHO CARES. ALSO IMPLIED ALCOHOL YAY!

16. LET'S PICK THE MOST OBVIOUS CHARACTER TO TEACH TO CHILDREN THAT READING IS COOL. TO THE POINT THAT SHE'LL STEAL.

17. THIS FELT LIKE THE MOST HARMLESS WAY TO SAY "TAKE THAT!" TO SHIPPERS, BUT THAT'S IMPLYING THE EPISODE WAS EVEN TARGETED TO THAT AUDIENCE ANYWAY, AS IF THEY WERE WRITING THIS EPISODE TO ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGE THIS SUBSET OF PEOPLE. HA. 

18. GODDAMNIT PINKIE PIE.

19. EVERYONE'S AN ASSHOLE AGAIN.

20. YES, RELEASE THE TIME-TRAVEL BIT AS A PROMO THEN HAVE THAT SCENE PLAY TWICE IN THE EPISODE! SAVE ON THOSE ANIMATION COSTS! 

21. DRAGONS ARE UNCIVILIZED BARBARIC ASSHOLES. STEREOTYPICAL TEENAGE BULLY ONES, ANYWAY. WHAT A WASTE OF POTENTIAL. DRAGON LORE: LOST.

22. THIS EPISODE WAS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. OKAY SPITFIRE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE PARTICIPATED WHEN THERE WAS A GOOD CHANCE THE WATER WOULDN'T GO TO CLOUDSDALE AT ALL, BUT EH. MAYBE SHE WOULD HAVE FINED RAINBOW DASH FOR FAILING AND WENT TO A DIFFERENT CITY TO DO IT INSTEAD OR SOMETHING, BUT NOTHING WAS IMPLIED SO HEADCANON EXPLANATIONS DON'T COUNT,

23. I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.

24. HEY ELEMENTS OF HARMONY EXCEPT APPLEJACK BECAUSE OF TIME AND TWILIGHT BECAUSE SHE'S SHERLOCK, LET'S RUIN OUR BEST FRIEND'S CAKE THAT HER EMPLOYERS MADE FOR THE COMPETITION BECAUSE SHE DESCRIBED IT WITH SUCH MAJESTIC ZEST WE HAVE TO TAKE GIGANTIC DESTRUCTIVE CHOMPS OUT OF THE CAKE NO MATTER WHAT! AND WE'LL DO IT BEHIND HER BACK! AND SHE'LL FORGIVE US EASILY ANYWAY. AND THEY END UP WINNING THE COMPETITION BY COMBINING EVERYONE'S DESSERT INTO A MONSTROUS MESS ANYWAY! 

25&26. CHRYSALIS IS ACTUALLY A TACTICAL GENIUS BECAUSE THIS GUY SAID SO. THE EPISODE WAS GOOD. EXCEPT MAYBE THE PART WHERE LOVE GENERICALLY SAVED THE DAY. I ALSO THINK THE IDEA THAT SHINING ARMOUR AND CADANCE'S LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER WAS SO GREAT IT OVERPOWERED CELESTIA MADE SENSE, BUT BECAUSE WE WERE NEVER SHOWN THE COUPLE'S LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER AND ONLY TOLD, WHILE THEIR ROMANCE WAS MERELY A FAIRY-TALE GENERIC ROMANCE LEFT THE IMPACT AND INTENTION OF THAT SCENE WEAK, LEAVING MANY TO INTERPRET THAT INDEED CELESTIA ISN'T POWERFUL AT ALL.

-

1&2. PLEASE TELL ME "TWILIGHT FIXING THE PLOT BY HERSELF WHILE THE REST OF HER FRIENDS ARE EITHER USELESS OR NEGLIGIBLE" DOESN'T BECOME AN ONGOING THEME OF THE ADVENTURE-HEAVY PREMIERES AND FINALES.

3. THIS EPISODE GAVE ME A HEADACHE. ALSO UNFORTUNATE IMPLICATIONS.

4. CONSIDERING HOW THEY HANDLED OVER A BARREL I AM NOT SURPRISED THEY CHOSE THE EASIEST, LEAST DARING SOLUTION TO THE BULLYING PROBLEM.

5. WOW TRIXIE HAS REALLY WEAK MAGIC ON HER OWN. LIKE SERIOUSLY. EVEN A BABY CAN SERIOUSLY HARM SOMEONE IF THEY TRY REALLY HARD, BUT TRIXIE CAN'T EVEN IF SHE TRIED? IS MAGIC THAT COMPLICATED?

6. UNTIL SEASON FOUR HAPPENED, THE MOST WELL-WRITTEN, MOST FLAWLESS BEST EPISODE IN THE SERIES.

7. WOW ONLY ONE PONY'S AN ASSHOLE! GOOD IMPROVEMENT! ALSO SPITFIRE WAS WRITTEN WELL. YOU DON'T SHOW BIAS WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A MILITARY DRILL-SERGEANT GODDAMNIT. HOW YOU SUPPOSED TO RECRUIT THE BEST-OF-THE-BEST? NOT THAT THE WONDERBOLTS HAVE EVER SHOWN ANYTHING OF MERIT IN ANY EPISODE EVER, BUT STILL. WHY DOES RAINBOW DASH WANT TO JOIN THEM WHEN SHE'S ALREADY BETTER THAN THEM AGAIN? I WILL REVISIT THIS POINT IN SEASON FOUR. "IT'S A TWISTER" IS THE BEST LINE IN THE SERIES.

8. THIS EPISODE WAS AS UNIQUE AND GROUNDBREAKING AS ITS SONG. 

9. I'D BE OKAY WITH TWO SPIKE EPISODES AND NO RARITY EPISODE IN THE SHORTENED SEASON IF THIS EPISODE WAS ACTUALLY GOOD.

10. I ALREADY HATED THE CONCEPT BEFORE I WATCHED THIS EPISODE SO I AM TOO BIASED TO SAY ANYTHING REALLY. STILL, THEY NEEDED FAR MORE TIME TO EVEN CONVINCE DISCORD TO PRETEND TO REFORM, LET ALONE ACTUALLY REFORM LIKE THIS EPISODE DID. I LOVED DISCORD THE VILLAIN, BUT HAVING HIM SWITCH SIDES THIS FAST SERIOUSLY UNDERMINES HIS IMPACT AS A VILLAIN. HE DIDN'T FULLY TAKE THEIR SIDE UNTIL THE SEASON FOUR FINALE, BUT WE'LL GET THERE WHEN WE GET THERE.

11. HEY IT WAS BETTER THAN THE FOLLOWING EPISODE.

12. OUTSHINED BY THE SIMULTANEOUS SPIKE EPISODE. FOR SHAME.

13. I LIKED THE IDEA AND THE CONCEPT, TOO BAD THERE WAS ONLY ONE EPISODE TO DO ALL THIS IN. SONGS WERE CATCHY THOUGH. HOORAY ALICORN TWILIGHT?

-

1&2. APPLEJACK: "QUICK GUYS! WE NEED TWILIGHT T'SKEDADDLE OUT O' OUR GROUP BEFOR' SHE NICKS ALL 'EM PREMIERES AND FINALES FOR HERSELF FOREVEEEER!" BUT THEN TWILIGHT COMES BACK. RIP MANE FIVE IMPORTANT EPISODE PROMINENCE. I ALSO CANNOT WRITE COUNTRY.

3. WHO IS THE PONY OF SHADOWS? WHY ARE WE NEVER GOING TO KNOW? WHY HAVE THAT ENDSCENE ANYWAY!? RAAARGHGHHHH

4. IF DARING DO IS REAL, DOES THAT MEAN THERE ARE OTHER UNSUNG HEROES OUT IN EQUESTRIA WE KNOW NOTHING OF, AND THE WORLD IS ACTUALLY CONSTANTLY DOOMED AND BEING SAVED BY UNNAMED PONIES NOT OUR PROTAGONISTS, MAKING THEIR FEATS FEEL FAR LESS GRAND AND MAJESTIC AND CLIMATIC AS WE BELIEVED THEM TO BE? NO WONDER THOSE MANEHATTEN PONIES STILL ACTED RUDE TO ALICORN PRINCESS TWILIGHT. THEY MUST ALL KNOW SOMEONE. WHY DOES SHE GET THE RECOGNITION WHEN ALL THOSE GUYS DON'T?

5. MAYBE RAINBOW DASH SHOULDN'T BE FLYING THE ENTIRE TIME SHE'S GIVING THAT MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH TO SCOOTALOO. JUST SAIYAN.

6. WELL IF YOU'RE GONNA SHOVE SUPERHEROES IN MY FACE AT LEAST IT WAS ENTERTAINING.

7. IS FLUTTERSHY STILL A BAT? ARE WE NEVER GOING TO KNOW? WHY HAVE THAT ENDSCENE ANYWAY!? WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED AGAIN!? YOU STUPID LINGERING POINTLESS SHOTS!!!!

8. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. 
OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP 

9. THE BEST EPISODE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES.

10. WHY ARE THE WONDERBOLTS SO TERRIBLE? WHY DOES RAINBOW DASH LOOK UP TO THEM? WHY DOES SHE NEED TO LEARN TO BE LOYAL WHEN SHE'S SHOWN TO BE LOYAL SO MANY TIMES BEFORE? WHY ARE THE PONIES LEAST-FITTING TO BE IN THE OLYMPICS, IN THE OLYMPICS? DID NO OTHER PEGASUS REALLY WANT TO DO THIS EVENT AND BE IN THE SAME TEAM AS RAINBOW-FUCKING-DASH? WHERE IS THE RESPECT FOR HER!? WHAT THE FUCK!?

11. THE ONLY REASON THIS EPISODE IS LOVED IS BECAUSE OF WEIRD AL. UNTIL THIS MOMENT I DON'T RECALL PINKIE HAVING MUCH OF AN EGO AT ALL. SINCE WHEN ARE PARTIES SERIOUS BUSINESS? WAT. OKAY FINE PINKIE HAD GOOD CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT OTHERWISE, BUT INTRODUCING A FLAW OUT OF NOWHERE TO SOLVE IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT OK.

12. I WISH PINKIE, RAINBOW DASH, RARITY, AND APPLEJACK WERE TAKING CARE OF DISCORD AND NOT TWILIGHT AND CADANCE. AT LEAST UFP MADE AN ENTERTAINING EPISODE OUT OF IT.

13. THE STALLIONS THEY INTRODUCE TO BE LOVE INTERESTS HAVE THUS FAR BEEN VERY UNDERWHELMING. OKAY SO IT'S REALLY ONLY BLUEBLOOD AND TRENDERHOOF, BUT MY GOD ARE THEY UNDERWHELMING. PLEASE HAVE BETTER TASTE RARITY LIKE RAINBOW DASH I MEAN WHAT

14. NO.

15. MAN SWEETIE BELLE CAN BE SINISTER.

16. "THERE IS NO EVOLUTION IN EQUESTRIA, ONLY A LIST OF ANIMALS FLUTTERSHY ALLOWS TO EXIST." GOOD MORAL.

17. I AGREE WITH THE POPULACE. APPLEJACK IS NOT APPLEJACK IN THIS EPISODE, UNLESS WE GET INTO HEADCANONY-PARENTS-BEING-DEAD-JUSTIFYING-PARANOIA-THEORY OR SOMETHING SILLY LIKE THAT.

18. MAUD PIE, THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO MLP SINCE PINKIE PIE.

19. MAN SWEETIE BELLE CAN BE SINISTER. THIS EPISODE ALSO GAVE ME A HEADACHE. 

20. YOUR SONG WAS BETTER THE FIRST TIME AROUND, FLIM FLAM BROS.

21. THIS MORAL WAS BALLS-TO-THE-WALLS AWESOME. WAY TO REPRESENT THE NOT-ACTUALLY-DUMB STRUGGLING KIDS, RAINBOW DASH.

22. APPARENTLY TRADING PONIES IS LEGAL.

23. OKAY RARITY LEGIT FREAKED ME OUT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES. I DON'T EVEN REWATCH THIS EPISODE BECAUSE SHE LEAVES ME SO UNEASY. IT'S THE WAY THOSE GLOWING GREEN EYES ARE DRAWN, MAN. AGH.

24. YAY A GOOD SPIKE EPISODE! YES HIS DIGNITY DID GO INTO THE NEGATIVES, BUT HE MADE UP FOR IT BY SAVING THE DAY. GREAT MORAL. 

25&26. IT IS ONE THING TO REFORM DISCORD SO EASILY TO KNOCK DOWN THE STOCK OF HIS VILLAINY A PEG, BUT FOR HIM TO ACT SO NAIVE AND BE SO PREDICTABLY BETRAYED BY TIREK AS WELL REALLY DAMPERS HIS INITIAL APPEARANCE AS A VILLAIN. I NO LONGER SEE HIM AS INTIMIDATING AND CHAOTIC AS HE ONCE WAS.  ALSO COOL EXPLOSIONS AND MANE FIVE'S ONLY USEFULNESS BEING THERE TO SHOOT THE MACGUFFIN. OH WELL.

-

1&2. WOW THE MOST INTERESTING WELL-WRITTEN VILLAIN SINCE DISCORD! I HOPE THEY DON'T RUIN THIS!

3. I GUESS THEY FORGOT WHAT TWILIGHT LIKED BECAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS OUT OF THE LOOP WHENEVER IMPENDING DOOM THREATENS EQUESTRIA.

4. JUST LIKE HOW APPLEJACK ALWAYS HAS EPISODES WITH HER FAMILY, WHY CAN'T APPLE BLOOM HAVE EPISODES THAT ISN'T ABOUT CUTIE MARKS? AT LEAST SWEETIE BELLE HAS OTHER PROBLEMS ALONG WITH SCOOTALOO. ALL APPLE BLOOM EPISODES ARE ALWAYS ABOUT CUTIE MARKS. WHY.

5. RAINBOW MAY HAVE COMMITTED ECO-TERRORISM FOR THE PETTIEST REASON EVER, BUT I CAN NEVER HATE AN EPISODE WITH SUCH A GLORIOUS AND HILARIOUS CRYING SCENE.

6. THIS WOULD BE A FILLER EPISODE IN A SERIES THAT'S ALREADY SUPPOSED TO BE FILLER IF IT WEREN'T FOR EPISODE 18.

7. FOR ONCE I LIKE HOW POST-REFORM DISCORD IS WRITTEN. ALL OF THE APPLAUSE TO YOU. THIS IS ALSO THE FUNNIEST EPISODE IN SEASON FIVE. ALTERNATE OPINIONS ARE WRONG.

8. GILDA WAS A BITCH BECAUSE SHE LIVED IN BITCHVILLE, SO WE'LL FIX GILDA AND BITCHVILLE BY LIBERATING IT IN THE NAME OF FRIENDSHIP AND RAINBOWS.

9. HA! I TOLD YOU I WASN'T LOOKING TOO INTO THAT MOMENT IN RAINBOW ROCKS WHEN LYRA AND BONBON WERE PLAYING THE PIANO! I KNEW THEY WERE BEST FRIENDS! AND YOU DOUBTED ME ALL ALONG!

10. I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THESE SPIKE EPISODES THAT KILLED HIS DIGNITY AND GAVE HIM ZERO CHANCE TO SHINE.

11. WE MUST APPEASE THE TODDLER-LEVEL MATURITY AMBASSADORS BY GIVING IN TO THEIR EVERY WILL! 

12. THIS JUST IN, PONY PALETTE SWAPS CAN ACTUALLY HAVE INTERESTING IN-DEPTH CHARACTER. MORE AT 11.

13. DID MLP JUST FEATURE AN EPISODE ABOUT SELF-HARM? WHAT?

14. ALL THOSE JOKES OF RARITY OPERATING SWEATSHOPS WERE TOTALLY OFF-THE-MARK. 

15. RARITY IS A BETTER AND MORE ENTERTAINING DETECTIVE THAN PINKIE PIE. MY LIFE IS UPSIDE-DOWN AND BACKWARDS. THE WONDERBOLTS CONTINUE TO BE TERRIBLE.

16. I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE'S FANFARE ABOUT COCO POMMEL. THE BREEZIES WERE MORE INTERESTING THAN HER. SHE'S NOT CUTE, SHE'S BORING. IF PEOPLE CAN THINK FLUTTERSHY IS BORING, THIS CHARACTER IS EVEN MORE BORING.

17.  I THOUGHT MLP WAS TOO OPTIMISTIC OF A SHOW TO EVER MAKE ME CRY, AND YET THE ENDING SCENE OF THIS EPISODE DID. WHAT A POIGNANT PERFORMANCE, PETER NEW.

18. I WAS REALLY TIRED AND OUT OF IT WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS EPISODE SO MY INITIAL REACTION WAS "WHUT!?" INSTEAD OF ALL THE HEARTWARMING CRYING PEOPLE THAT WERE SUPER PROUD OF THE CMC. I THOUGHT THEIR CUTIE MARKS WERE BADLY DESIGNED, BUT I'M USED TO THEM NOW. THIS IS LIKE A BETTER WRITTEN MAGICAL MYSTERY CURE, BUT I STILL LIKE BOTH EPISODES.

19. A GOOD PINKIE PIE EPISODE. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

20. THAT IN-SYNC SCENE BETWEEN PINKIE AND AJ WAS FAR MORE AWKWARD THAN FUN OR CUTE. MARBLE PIE IS NOT BORING FOR THE SOLE FACT THAT SHE'S BASICALLY A FEMALE BIG MAC. IT'S AN INTERESTING PARALLEL AND SUGGESTS THE RELATION OF THE TWO FAMILIES, MUCH TO THE CHAGRIN OF THOSE WHO SHIP THEM. 

21. THIS COULD HAVE BEEN YOUR ONE CHANCE TO SATISFY THAT ENDING SCENE OF BATS! AND YOU DIDN'T DO IT! WHY! THAT LINGERING SHOT IS FOREVER POINTLESS! GAH!

22. YOU WERE DOING SO WELL WITH THE OTHER DISCORD EPISODE. I DO NOT SEE WHY HE NEEDS TWO PER SEASON NOW. WITH SLICE-OF-LIFE, THE OBLIGATORY LUNA EPISODE, THE CMC EPISODES, THE FACT THAT CELESTIA DESERVES AN EPISODE MORE THAN DISCORD GETTING TWO, AND NUMEROUS OTHER THINGS THAT ALREADY OVERSHADOW WHAT A BORING EPISODE THIS WAS.

23. OKAY.

24. Y'KNOW THE FUNNY THING IS RAZZLE DAZZLE IS MORE INTERESTING TO LISTEN TO MORE THAN ONCE, WHILE "I AM JUST A PONY" IS ONLY AS POWERFUL AS THE FIRST TIME YOU HEAR IT OR AT LEAST ON SPORADIC REPEATS. THAT'S WHY GENERIC POP DOMINATES RADIO STATIONS AND NOT POWER BALLADS OR WHATEVER, UNLESS YOU PLAY "LET IT GO" A BILLION TIMES AND KILL EVERYONE.

25&26. THE FACT THAT I CONSIDER MIDNIGHT SPARKLE THE MOST INTERESTING AND FOREBODING VILLAIN IN THIS SERIES IS VERY SAD. STARLIGHT VILLAINY POTENTIAL = ZERO. ALL IS LOST FOR SPOTTO'S WISH FOR DECENT VILLAINS IN MLP. 

-

1&2. OH I SEE. STARLIGHT HAS NOW TAKEN TWILIGHT'S ROLE IN OVERSHADOWING THE MANE FIVE FOR IMPORTANCE IN THE BIG EPISODES. WHAT A GREAT DECISION. 

3. IF ONE MORE PERSON BRINGS UP THE FACT THAT RARITY COULD HAVE SEWN A POUCH FOR MAUD INSTEAD I WILL PUNCH THEM IN THE NOSE UNTIL IT BREAKS.

4. THIS APPLEBLOOM EPISODE IS STILL ABOUT CUTIE MARKS. THEY ALREADY HAVE THEIR CUTIE MARKS. I KNOW AN EPISODE LIKE THIS SORTA NEEDS TO EXIST, BUT WHY FOCUS IT ONLY ON APPLEBLOOM? IT HAS BEEN SIX SEASONS PLEASE GIVE APPLE BLOOM MORE VARIED EPISODES, EGADS!

5. THIS IS NOT A SPIKE EPISODE. IT IS AN EMBER EPISODE. SPIKE WAS NOT THE MAIN FOCUS. I WAGER HE WAS JUST A VERY HELPFUL SUPPORTIVE CHARACTER. CALLING IT A GOOD SPIKE EPISODE IS A LIE. I ALSO DO NOT WELCOME THE RETURN OF STEREOTYPICAL FRAYBOY TEENAGE BULLY DRAGONS THAT KEEP MISSING THEIR OPPORTUNITIES FOR GOOD DRAGON LORE. WHY DID NO ADULT DRAGONS PARTICIPATE IN THIS COMPETITION? YOU'D THINK THEY WOULD BE MORE FITTING THAN ADOLESCENT DRAGONS. OR ARE THEY ALL SO LAZY AND TOO BUSY SLEEPING OVER THEIR GOLD HOARDS THAT THEY DON'T APPLY? WHO KNOWS? THE SHOW NEVER ELABORATES SO WE CAN ONLY GUESS!

6. DID MY LITTLE PONY PORTRAY A CHARACTER ATTEMPTING SUICIDE? ALSO THIS IS MY "MAKE NEW FRIENDS BUT KEEP DISCORD" COUNTERPART FOR STARLIGHT THE BLEEEEHHHH PONY ALSO TWILIGHT IS WORST PONY CONFIRMED 

7. I LITERALLY FACEPALMED IN REAL LIFE

8. I HAVEN'T HEARD A PINKIE PIE SOLO SINCE A BILLION YEARS AGO 10/10 EXCEPT NO SCOOTALOO AS TINY TIM SO 9/10

9. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG

AND THE REST OF THE EPISODES WHENEVER THEY AIR! 
spotto: (flutts)
In the RWBY fandom I operate on spite. Sheer spite. My favourite fan-artist just left the fandom. (I'm not entirely sure if it's for 100% sure but for now I'll take it as for sure, as that is what they have said). A lot of their art was part of the driving force for some of my writing because the show itself sure as fuck isn't good enough to do anything close to inspiration. My favourite character was often controversial and though does not hit the hot button as much as before I attribute that to the poor writing doing very little to amp her the best rounded parts of her personality anyway, seeing as it's inconsistent and paced poorly at best. My favourite ship is pelted with ship wars back and forth because it isn't the conventional "main pairs" that had been decided since episode fucking five of season fucking one.

This show is terrible and most fandom people I follow in it are moving on. I don't give one shit about "RWBY CHIBI" (and Chibi RWBY sounds better. They couldn't even do THAT right) or the fact that they're allowing content to be seen by sponsors one week early. It's bad enough trying to avoid spoilers for a day. I could not go on the sites for a day, I suppose. How am I supposed to actively take part in the fandom if half of them are drawing and writing for the newest episode and the rest have to wait a whole fucking week later? I can only participate if I pay them money? WHEN I HATE THIS SHOW ALREADY? THE INCENTIVE ISN'T EVEN THERE. And sure sponsorship doesn't even cost that much, but even if I was the richest motherfucker in the world damn universe I would not give them a single penny for the quality they put on screen. That's how much spite I feel.

I'm not even excited for the music that I once loved. I only liked one track in volume two (and one song had such aggravating lyrics I refused to take one step towards even downloading it, no less buying it like I did volume one) and even though there's a Weiss song apparently, I'm not even excited! Maybe that's because her backstory is an utter disappointment. I have no problem if one of her ways to rebel against her father and take charge of her future is choosing Beacon, but there's little to no detail whatsoever. Why the fuck did she choose Beacon of all places? Is it better than Haven? It's as generic as any other school for combat children! And after season three it turns out to be a god-awful choice anyway because everything goes to shit and now the whole school is abandoned and infested with Grimm and your future to become a huntress is now a complete uncertainty! Wow! Maybe it could be one step towards how she takes charge and defies her father but as is it's just really short and nothing compared to how deep and lengthy both Blake and Yang's backstories seem to be. Maybe they're just withholding information on purpose because information will come out in time, like in Volume 23 in twenty years when they decide to actually develop our characters properly and not scatter tidbits of information in between their shit priorities and their unorganized piece of shit plot they had no real coherent timeline of until they decided to shove a huge plot point they only came up with two seasons in, in season three as if that was a proper way to write a story whatsoever.

It's getting so toxic and salty that the best thing to do is to just get out entirely. Stop watching the show. Stop monitoring the fandom. Give up. Fuck it all. I love Weiss, I really do, but ultimately it feels like she's the only thing I do like anymore. Her entire concept intrigued me so much, and yet...it has all amounted to colossal disappointment, disappointment I'm tired of. I don't even like her in half the episodes anyway. I don't even know what they're trying to do with her. At this point she's just one of them "defrosting ice queen" stereotypes with nothing really unique separating her from any other character given this horrid shitstain of a treatment. Fandom provides 90% of all the potential I had hoped they would give her, but are falling short every single time. It's dumb. It's stupid. Fuck.

At this point the only real reason to stick around is that I invested so many hours and days and weeks of my time on the longest fanfic I've ever written, and for whatever inane idiotic reason I decided it had to be one this show, a show that has got to be the worst show, quality-wise, I have ever invested myself in. Even shows aimed at children as toy commercials do better. They're already transparent about their motives to take money from children, but a lot of the time they have some decent writing! Meanwhile a show whose purpose was apparently to be a cool badass show is trying to desperately bleed sponsorship from every single human-being on the planet and their dog for something that isn't even worth jack. 

The funny thing is nothing notable about RWBY spurred this rant. Oh no. I was going through the pony fandom and got incessantly annoyed. People that consider themselves intelligent "analysts" that over and over again either hate Pinkie's songs or just Pinkie in general. I was getting aggravated because I LIKE these analysts, but the difference of opinion was getting to such a grating point. Perhaps because I identify with her so much, or genuinely enjoy her songs (that AREN'T Smile Smile Smile! HA! MORE UNPOPULAR OPINIONS) or that Pinkie's goal in life just speaks to me so deeply. Even if she made a horrible pun or was written in a lazy, cop-out humour sort of way, the fact that she exists, the fact that she's trying to bring laughter, her ENTIRE EXISTENCE is a heartwarming miracle to me. My favourite episodes tend to be Pinkie episodes, especially one's where she's written well. When she's written well she's damn well best pony. BEST OF ANYONE ELSE, best even when others are at their best. That is the pinnacle of MLP right there, a well-written Pinkie, what the show is supposed to be, WHY I AM HERE WATCHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. I enjoy that Pinkie so much, I continue to watch despite some episodes that I truly dislike that I have to cast aside as a dud, and await the next week, hope next week is better.

And one harmless night I was browsing TVTropes, heading to the YMMV page which I generally agree lists tropes that are truly subjective, and I see something called "The Scrappy" next to Pinkie Pie on an episode called "Green Isn't Your Colour."

Meanwhile, I check the YMMV page for Filli Vanilli. I do not see "The Scrappy" there, I only see "Base Breaker"

So what you're telling me, website listing subjective tropes, that Pinkie Pie being "The Scrappy" a truly annoying, irredeemable character in Green Isn't Your Colour, in my opinion one of the top three best-written episodes in the ENTIRE SERIES, is something most people agree with enough for that to exist, but FILLI VANILLI PINKIE, is merely a BASE-BREAKER, in that some people ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO DEFEND HER BEHAVIOUR?

I have NEVER seen a single person bring up that Pinkie is ANNOYING or IRREDEEMABLE or whatever in GiYC! NEVER! Maybe they might think she is simply there to keep the plot moving in a rather nonsensical manner, but she's Pinkie Pie! And even if that defense isn't valid, and I cannot believe I HAVE TO DEFEND THIS, it's CONSISTENT WITH HER CHARACTER to be touchy with secrets/Pinkie Swears! She's had THREE OTHER EPISODES (Party of One, The Last Roundup, The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows) involving that subject! In fact, I love that episode so much because it's the prime example, at least in season one, of writing Pinkie Pie correctly! Where she isn't overbearing and intruding into the plot as an obnoxious distraction to bring comic relief that does nothing to progress the story, but CONTRIBUTES to the story in a way that fits her character and is genuinely entertaining! You can't tell me her FOREVERS coming out of nowhere wasn't the least bit funny! YOU CANNOT! The fact that she showed up in a mirror BLEW PEOPLE'S MINDS! It was near the beginning of the whole "Pinkie breaks physics beyond what we even imagined!" short of thing! It's a significant part of Pinkie, thank you very much!

And then, apparently, there are some people who did not like her. Wow, this is like, even more baffling than people who call "Pinkie Apple Pie" okay, or god forbid "terrible." I even heard someone say the humour became "stale" in that epi--EXCUSE ME!? THE HUMOUR WAS ALL-OVER-THE-PLACE! If one joke didn't make you laugh, another would because the jokes were different, fast-paced, unexpected and timed well! Stale would imply they were doing the same thing, making the same joke, over and over again! The fact that that person did not elaborate whatsoever just shows that they had no real insight in why they considered the humour poor! The fact that I HATED THEIR ATTEMPTS AT HUMOUR might be a big hint as to a reason why. I guess we don't share the same sense of humour, but by god SO MANY people I knew and see on the internet could at least agree if they had little to say of the episode, or if it was just okay, that it was at the very least, FUNNY!

Holy shit.

I don't know. Maybe I've been exposed to too many people with conflicting opinions in too short-a-time-frame. The concentration is ungodly. I am well aware just like literally any other character I like, that Pinkie isn't the popular choice, but my god. It's just difficult to grasp the difference in opinion when it is this great. Most of the time if I disagreed I at least could understand why they'd hold such an opinion. But it feels like lately I just do not agree and have no real way of rectifying that conflict whatsoever. I just see no valid points on the other side at all. It's utterly unfathomable. I am in disbelief.

Just so you know my top well-written episodes are something like Pinkie Apple Pie, Green Isn't Your Colour, and Sleepless in Ponyville. They are in my opinion, FLAWLESS, writing-wise, or as flawless as you're gonna get. Why can't every episode be like these? I could go into more detail but it is late, so I'll justify my choices in another choice. (Flawless-writing-wise doesn't mean another episode can't be better. For instance Sonic Rainboom is a really good episode, but I don't consider it flawless because I find Rarity's behaviour a but too much forced for the plot to work. The fact that her get-up during the competition looks atrocious when Rarity should know better in terms of design, really breaks the sense that this is what the real Rarity would do. I have no doubt she'd be this vain or whatever, but it felt like they made her look like crap just to drive the point further that SHE IS THE ANTAGONIST LOOK AT HER BE THE ANTAGONIST BY BEING UGLY OMGHFHFF!! But that is just one example.) 
spotto: (@_@)
 "What are you gonna do, erase the PinkieShy rant so you can write a PinkieShy rant?"
 
Evidently that is exactly what I am doing. Hello readers. If that quote did not reveal what had been written here before, I'll just flat-out tell you here! Yes indeedy, I am typing up a PinkieShy rant on-top of the one I started some weeks ago and never finished. Because I am THAT bitter about them that instead of finishing the rant from before, I'll just write a whole new one hopefully including some points from beforehand, should I remember, BECAUSE I AM THAT MOTHERFUCKING SALTY. 
 
I mean gosh, if that hasn't been obvious considering the NUMEROUS RANTS I'VE HAD ON FILLI VANILLI ON THIS BLOG ALREADY. Like, I have ranted on that over and over again, repeating points, bringing up new points, and forever puking out my displeasure of that ONE. SINGLE. EPISODE.
 
How. Why.
 
I guess the gist of it all is...PinkieShy is the ship I've always wanted. It's the ship I've always dreamed of. They have literally all of the aesthetics, personality, and interaction that I could possibly want in a ship, and that's what they are. 
 
...except they aren't. 
 
THAT'S WHY I'M SALTY.
 
Now you're probably wondering what the flying fuck I'm talking about. You see Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy are my two favourite ponies. They are best ponies, so-to-speak. Well occasionally Rarity usurps Fluttershy, but y'know that's usually regarding the quality of Rarity episodes to Fluttershy episodes. I don't tend to like Fluttershy episodes while I tend to like almost every Rarity one... it's just a thing because Rarity is written so-very-well so often. But anyway, while they are my two favourite ponies individually, the two of them talking, or being friends or whatever together, is like a pony dream I've always had. And it's that very fact that all of this is so sad, that I have to dream two main characters in a show about friendship, having some sort of friendship. You think entering season six we would have some of this so-called friendship the show claims to have that is part of a giant mind-bending rainbow beam of death that torments the likes of villainy everywhere. Now obviously they are not the only two who have been neglected by the show that would rather waste its time introducing brand new characters our infallible mane six have to convert to the religion of friendship and save them from their misguided ways. I thought Rarity in particular wasn't given much screen-time among many others aside from really just Applejack. She's had an episode with Fluttershy (which was really fucking good, mind you) and since Twilight has been the audience-surrogate for a while there was bound to be some Rarity-Twilight moments, though no episode off the top-of-my-head that focused on the two of them in particular. However recently we had some marvelous episodes like Rarity Investigates and The Gift of Maud Pie, that delve into Rarity with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie, a dynamic we've seen rather little of unfortunately.
 
That leaves us with very few duos left. I'm wracking my brain for them, since I want to believe my views on Pinkie and Fluttershy having little screen-time together is justified beyond just "THEY'RE MY TWO FAVOURITES DURR" so I thought of such duos like...like... 
 
Hm.
 
Let me go through them all just to make sure I've not been missing anyone. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie's friendship were featured first in Griffon the  Brush Off. Rainbow then gets an episode with Applejack showcasing their rivalry in Fall Weather Friends. She has a small amount of interaction with Rarity in Sonic Rainboom, but most of it comes from Rarity Investigates. The best Rainbow and Twilight episode in my opinion is Testing, Testing, One, Two, Three, and Rainbow and Fluttershy have had countless interactions together for whatever reason. They're both pegasi? They're childhood friends? Regardless Hurricane Fluttershy which is a grand-as-fuck entry in the MLP series is a wondrous illustration of their developing friendship. So that's Rainbow done with, since she's the easiest being shipped with absolutely everyone and every single one of those ships having a sizable following.
 
Twilight, second easiest can be pinpointed as well, aside from Rainbow she's had several episodes with Pinkie Pie, the controversial Feeling Pinkie Keen as well as It's About Time. She's had A Bird in the Hoof and that really boring Hooffields and the McColts episode with Fluttershy. The closest thing I can think of is Applebuck Season for AJ, but the two of them have appeared in the most episodes in the series of them all, so they're usually interlapping as strong supporting characters in one another's episodes. I can't think of anything for Twilight and Rarity in particular unless it's a Spike episode or something.
 
So there's one and maybe two, Twilight with AJ or Rarity.
 
Then there's AJ and Rarity, who have featured in many episodes with one another. Rarity's got the aforementioned Gift of Maud Pie for Pinkie and Green Isn't Your Colour for Fluttershy, where AJ has Bats! with Fluttershy and the greatest episode in the entire series, Pinkie Apple Pie, with quite obviously Pinkie.
 
So we are left with Pinkie...and Fluttershy. I'm gonna suggest the unfairness further, by any of Twilight's neglected relationships being not quite neglected, since she was the main star for all of season one. Pinkie and Fluttershy are never top-billing. They do not cause or solve the problems in those big giant two-parters. They are merely there to be support for Twilight. The closest these two have had an episode with one another are... Putting Your Hoof Down and Filli Vanilli.
 
Ah yes, Putting Your Hoof Down, where Fluttershy insulted Pinkie's very reason for being (and Rarity), called her an idiot, and made her run away crying. Ah yes, Filli Vanilli, where Pinkie terrorized Fluttershy and amplified her phobia tenfold, driving her to tears through her reckless insensitivity masked as good intentions. YES, THESE TWO EPISODES. I AM QUITE PLEASED BY THESE TWO EPISODES AS YOU CAN SEE, WITH THEIR WONDROUS POSITIVE INTERACTIONS WHERE THEY ARE THE BEST OF FRIENDS, THE GREATEST OF ROLE MODELS TO ALL THE CHILDREN WHO NEED TO LEARN HOW TO ACT AMONGST THEIR PEERS.
 
Listen. It's very obvious why I am salty. It's very obvious. It's giant letters in your face, in black bold font, of a highly simplified and readable typeface like Helvetica or whatever. I DO NOT NEED TO EXPLAIN IT ANY FURTHER.
 
Now see, the difference between Filli Vanilli and Putting Your Hoof Down, is that I only rant incessantly about the former. The latter, as poorly-written as the episode was (Suddenly everyone in Ponyville is a jerk, and two characters our little children girls are looking up to as guidance are manipulating and conning other ponies in an example of "assertiveness" for some reason) that Fluttershy's explosive tirade was immediately given a negative light and taken very seriously. Fluttershy becomes withdrawn, almost a hermit in her deep shame and guilt for what she had done. Pinkie Pie and Rarity meanwhile seem to instantly forgive her (pacing-wise at least, in a matter of two seconds apparently a lot of time had passed, but we are never given any scenes with the two to see them dwelling over their conflict with Fluttershy) as if they were good enough friends to not let such a momentously vicious and toxic fight ruin their friendship.
 
In Filli Vanilli, Pinkie's antics are funny. And she never apologizes. And no one takes it seriously. And when the show makes me, whose favourite character BAR-NONE is PINKAMENA DIANE PIE, want to MIDDLE-FINGER AND SWEAR at my OWN FAVOURITE CHARACTER, something is SERIOUSLY WRONG.
 
I truly will never understand why some of the most adorable, innocent little ponies like Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, would if you put them in a room together, would probably have a rather unhealthy friendship from all evidence you can pluck from canon in a series called Friendship is Magic. They are friends because the Mane Six are friends. They are friends by virtue of, if they weren't, Equestria would be doomed. They're like mutual friends. "But Spotto!" You ask. "There was that time in It's About Time (hurr) where Fluttershy was helping Pinkie Pie carry party supplies!" Yes, my imaginary child reader named Billy, you are correct! Except it was Fluttershy helping Pinkie Pie carry ALL of the party supplies, and Pinkie Pie seemingly not aware that Fluttershy should not be doing all of the work. Or "Spotto! How about that moment when Fluttershy gave Pinkie a butterfly massage-therapy thing!" And I agree! That is a great scene denoting their wondrous friendship. That very singular one scene of the entire series, that took place in the span of a minute.
 
I mean obviously there must be a reason I started to like this ship. It's as if I just wrote a manifesto of why PinkieShy sucks and would never work. That is untrue! They are my OTP after all. These points just highlight how very frustrated their "friendship" is, because the kind of friendship I like seeing the most is a happy positive character helping out a shy withdrawn character. All MLP has taught me is that if you're too extroverted you'll tire out an introvert, and if you're too introverted you'll bore an extrovert. Such friendship is IMPOSSIBLE. Do not attempt.
 
Season one was the beginning of hope, hope that never developed into anything, that was retconned into oblivion, but hope it did provide. You see, in an episode called "Griffon Your Brush-Off" it was established that Pinkie Pie understood Fluttershy's sensitivity and thus, respected it. She did not want to prank her because she knew it would hurt Fluttershy's feelings. That was the beginning of that hope, that yes, this extroverted character who can be too loud at times and do things without thinking so many other times, can still stop and for once, take into account the difference of another character. A pony who is shy, withdrawn, who does not enjoy what Pinkie enjoys. She respects that. When Gilda comes in and makes Fluttershy cry, Pinkie becomes incensed. She is determined to right what was wrong, that no one should bully and intimidate her friend like that. Pinkie Pie was not only understanding, but protective.
 
Of course in that very same episode, we had the Fluttershy "I'm a year older-than-you" comment. There were still small things that Pinkie did that crossed the line and annoyed Fluttershy, which is in-line with Pinkie's flaws, but the BIG ONE was there and the BIG ONE mattered. That making Fluttershy cry was no joking matter. Later on, in Dragonshy while everyone else was impatient and demanding of Fluttershy to get over her fears, that she was holding everypony back, Pinkie Pie once again takes the time to understand and sings her a song. She isn't negative and demeaning like Rainbow Dash, she is positive and supportive, trying to give Fluttershy a boost with her encouraging song. The best part is that it works. Fluttershy is no longer scared. She smiles. She accepts Pinkie's help. It's a lovely and wonderful scene. 
 
Finally we have the scene that probably cemented this ship for many of the shippers and that was Fluttershy out-of-nowhere, downright glomping Pinkie Pie in Over A Barrel. Before this happened, Fluttershy was the most concerned of them all that Pinkie had gone missing as well after the train-scene where the buffalo stole Bloomberg. Everyone else was concerned for Spike, who was in the carriage that was taken away, but Fluttershy for whatever reason was especially concerned about Pinkie. This surmounted when they went to rescue Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Spike from the buffalo. When Fluttershy sees Pinkie, she dives for her. This is inherently out-of-character for Fluttershy. When has she ever expressed herself in such an outwardly way? Pinkie Pie glomping Fluttershy is what we expect, yet it is Fluttershy who tackle-hugs Pinkie.
 
If we take all these scenes into consideration, we can perhaps assume that maybe over time Fluttershy has learned to appreciate that while Pinkie is so very different from her, she still understands and respects her for who she is and for that, Fluttershy is grateful. Fluttershy is glad she has such an empathetic and kind friend like Pinkie, who allows her to remain in her boundaries. It is this potential, this type of friendship I was looking so forward to. As I relate to both Pinkie and Fluttershy deeply, a friendship that worked so well among such starkly different ponies was heartwarming simply to think about.
 
...and then the writers promptly forgot about season one.
 
After those scenes? We had Putting Your Hoof Down. But that's okay. Fluttershy tore Pinkie apart, but that's okay. It's okay because they forgave her, and remained best friends. We had that scene in Too Many Pinkie Pies with the butterflies, which is nice. I'm annoyed it took so long for a small scene to display their friendship that wasn't really related to the plot, but whatever. Then. Then we had Filli Vanilli. 
 
Filli Vanilli, that took Griffon-Your-Brush-Off, chewed it up, and spit the incomprehensible wad into the depths of the ocean, never to be seen again. Once again, let me reiterate. The BIG ONE was what mattered. Pinkie knew making Fluttershy cry was no joking matter. Yet in this entire episode, all of her jokes were making Fluttershy cry...making her run away, have a nervous breakdown, basically an emotional assault of the most obscene manner, and that entire thing was written because it was meant to be comedy. That whole idea that was implied from those season one episodes, that even though Pinkie could be annoying and obnoxious, she still had the heart to see and realize Fluttershy's boundaries. They were shattered. They were disintegrated, as if that very idea never existed at all. As if Pinkie had been replaced by one of her Mirror Clones, as if this whole friendship I assumed, wanted, had evidence that they had, was never like that at all! 
 
YES, I WAS SALTY. OF COURSE I WAS SALTY.
 
And now that many duos within the Mane Six have been visited in some way, I'm still eagerly awaiting that Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy episode. Maybe it'll be a mundane episode that never brings up these worryingly problematic portions of their friendship, and assumes they've been the best of friends this whole time. Maybe it does bring it up, and it ends up being a friendship lesson for the one or two of them. Maybe it'll never happen at all, just like that Sayo backstory I assumed would happen in Negima. That backstory, that singular chapter, that day in the limelight most other characters had, but Sayo's was foreshadowed, as there were ideas and notes scribbled upon around the mangaka's concept art. That pactio that every character was supposed to get that would expand on Sayo that had been teased in a previous chapter, and that she'd be something more than a cute ghost and Asakura's sidekick. THE CHAPTER THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LEGITIMATE REASON TO EXPLORE SOME MORE KAZUMI AND SAYO THAT NEVER. FUCKING. HAPPENED.
 
It is here again. I am waiting again. An episode that may or may not come, that seems obvious they SHOULD focus on, that seems obvious they'd have an episode on before the series ends. That the series is SO VERY LONG OVERDUE ON, just like what I waited for before and never came.
 
If MLP ends without the Pinkie and Fluttershy episode, I cannot feasibly predict my levels of salt. I can assure you it'd be beyond any levels you've seen before, and all those Filli Vanilli rants would be nothing in comparison.
 
And so I wait.
 
And so I hope.

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