spotto: (Stage One.)
So on my Sims game I have a whole bunch of OTPs living together. Been doing this for a while just to keep my favourite girls in one place. Recently I've set aside basement space for specific types of OTPs... the ones that no longer can function in canon. As in, they have been super sunk and no reality or dream can make life better for these ships. However, the criteria for them is a lot more nuanced than simply a ship that cannot go on. I thought to define these sets of criteria, to truly express my despair at how far down these ships fell.

Initially half the OTPs were in this unfortunate club, but I began thinking about how the two characters were treated in canon and how they interacted, and one definitely has a lot more going for them than the other two. There are six OTPs in total living in the household. This is the order I put them in from absolutely canon, no doubts about it all the way to these two characters have canon ships with someone else

1. YuuTouko from Bloom Into You
Bloom Into You is literally a romance story about these two as a couple, or blooming into a couple I should say. It does NOT get more canon than them!

2. KyouSaya from Puella Magi Magica Madoka
Though the status of their mortality is complicated, and I have yet to see the sequel, Magia Record if these two are even in them, as of Rebellion they're not explicitly canon, but as canon as one can get. Sayaka's little subplot with her dude crush is lightyears away at this point.

3. AyaSanae from Touhou Project
A rarepair! Not at all canon, but the nature of Touhou where romance doesn't exist and no one ever dies means literally zero ships will ever be canon or sunk, so these two can be a forever dream, never to come true, but never to be quashed either. Unless something in the status quo has changed, it is firmly on this tier.

4. Tenmiko from Danganronpa V3, Killing Harmony
And this is the ship I mentioned earlier, where I have firmly decided they do not belong in the basement of tears. Yes, one character is canonly dead so it's not as if this ship can ever sail, but they had lots of interaction in canon, and their development as characters depended on each other the most of any other. Plus it is canon in a one-sided sense, as Tenko had chased Himiko until her death. ):

5. Monochrome from RWBY
How are these guys not dead last!? I blame the MLP finale. Yes, Blake is with Yang, but as of season 6 as I have not seen 7 yet, Weiss is still a suitable bachelorette! The series is not over, and technically anything can happen. Also neither of them are dead or anything. I will elaborate on their status later on.

6. PinkieShy from My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic
Sigh.

Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy had the least amount of potential anyway, but it's still gives me a bit of a sad twang what happened to them. Not so much that they are in official relationships with other ponies/creatures even though they are, but rather that throughout the entire nine seasons of MLP, several movies and specials of EQG, and throughout all the comics as far as I'm aware, we never got a single episode focused especially on these two. No conflict of friendship they needed to get through, no obstacle from a third party the two of them had to get over, absolutely nothing. The closest I got was Buckball Season, where the two started their professional sports careers. No I did not see that coming whatsoever, but while it was a lovely episode, they shared it with RD and AJ, and the conflict was between the four of them. In subsequent episodes featuring Buckball, the two of them were always in the backdrop of a different plot, usually involving Rainbow Dash. Why bother putting them in this situation if every future Buckball episode just focuses on the already-an-athletic-member-of-the-cast anyway!? Gah.

There was one EQG short that focused on them, which was ironically a cheerleading short... whereas in Ponyland the two ARE the athletes and that one Buckball episode was Rainbow Dash coaching the cheerleaders... let's just say the EQG short was charming and cute but rather generic in execution. It got to the point that I was simply hoping anytime any of the ponies were paired together it would be them, just once. And not in a lazy, boring way either. Rainbow Roadtrip had the two of them sharing an activity and thus befriending the same villagers, but their subplot was by far the least interesting of them all in an already dull and slow-paced special. You COULDN'T EVEN MAKE MY TWO FAVOURITE PONIES INTERESTING, HOW, WHY. The two of them didn't really interact with one another, so yea. Plus every other member of the main six each had an individual subplot in the story so it felt like Ponks and Floots were like the leftovers they weren't sure what to do with.

But stuff like the Best Gift Ever special, where I was hoping the Secret Santa would yield interesting pairs instead of the same ones over and over again---NOPE! It's the same ones over and over again. They even did it in EQG too. Why is Rainbow Dash always getting Fluttershy? Yes we have had numerous episodes focusing on the two and they were childhood friends as well, so why do we need even MORE interaction for them? Especially this late in the series when the show is ending soon, you could explore OTHER pairs and other interactions but EVEN STILL you just go back to your usual? WHY?!?! You could have done Rainbow with Twilight or something, or Dash with Rarity, or even Dash with Pinkie. We also got Pinkie and Twilight as the pair (it was even MORE disappointing when most everyone just got each other, instead of everyone having to give presents to another pony, like what are the chances of that?) and Rarity got AJ as always. AJ only got Spike so we could have more Spike and Rarity interaction. The song in the end was cute and to be fair, Spike sought out Rarity because of his crush so that one is understandable, but the rest is aggravating.

They probably would have been rock bottom in the list anyway, but I was hoping for at least one episode involving them before the whole series ended. Their dynamic started out strong in Season One, which was a season that was a lot softer and wholesome than the following seasons. See, after season one they ditched their educational rating, so the episodes had more freedom to do whatever and wasn't so strict in terms of their target demographic. However what season one did and what I'm sure Lauren Faust emphasized, since she stepped down after this season and wasn't involved whatsoever beyond the second season, is to keep Pinkie grounded. What I mean is that, it seems like she knew that Pinkie had that potential to devolve into that LOLRANDOM type of character who would become more and more controversial and annoying over time, and in season one it seemed like the writers made sure not to let Pinkie fall into that territory. But without her influence and that child-friendly rating they were free to write Pinkie as they saw fit, and moulded her into the type of comedy they wanted to write as opposed to writing the comedy around Pinkie.

This leads to discrepancies, from Pinkie understanding Fluttershy's sensitivity in episode five all the way in season one, to becoming a one-dimensional gag in episode fourteen of season four, all to worsen Fluttershy's anxiety with her innocently insensitive remarks. We are supposed to laugh at Pinkie because she doesn't know better, but SHE DID KNOW BETTER. She did. I know I've ranted about Filli Vanilli to death at this point, and the episode's reputation is moreso the fans' complaints over the actual content, but as someone who loves both these characters I can't let go of it. Especially when the two of them lack much interaction at all, having one of them to be so negative (as well as the Putting Your Hoof Down incident in season two) leaves a lot to be desired. Who would actually ship them after those negative interactions? Nobody. A lot of the ship's popularity came early, when Pinkie sang and jumped across the gorge to encourage Fluttershy, when Fluttershy jump-hugged her out of worry in Appleloosa. There are however isolated scenes in the later seasons where their interactions have been largely positive. The most notable is the scene in The Mean Six, of season eight. Fluttershy is upset due to a misunderstanding with the animals through an anti-version of her running around, and Pinkie's first impulse is to hug and comfort her, and stop all gags and progress in the camping trip to console her. It's great and I love it, but alas it is just one scene in one season, when their last notable interaction was back in season six in Buckball Season.

Plus a lot of the more recent Pinkie episodes have had her largely separated from the rest of the group. The conflict isn't Pinkie vs. another pony of the main six, but Pinkie is causing the conflict and the rest of them have to fix it, or she goes off to Yakyakistan like always to solve her problem somehow. She doesn't do anything special or specific with any other character. The only reason we got some of that in the theatrical movie was because that movie was written by the earlier writers of the series, who stopped working on the show specifically to focus on the movie. Though Pinkie was still doing some odd and annoying things (We get that she loves to have fun, but she shouldn't be having fun and being goofy to the detriment of others or her own life, like when she leaped happily on the rope and almost fell to her death, but wasn't even phased when Twilight was rightfully angry with her after saving her) she was still in the right when it came down to the climax, but because of her actions previously we completely understand Twilight's frustrations and fury.  

I suppose the last time it was Pinkie versus another specific pony from the Mane Six, it was the Pinkie vs. Rainbow Dash one about pies. Of course I can complain again that PinkieDash eps aren't new or interesting, but even so this episode wasn't like, overdone at this point. I did not mind another Pinkie and Rainbow Dash episode, but in the context of Pinkie episodes as a whole, where she doesn't seem to have many episodes later on with another specifically it's a little disappointing. Secrets and Pies was kind of an iffy episode anyway. At this point with its running theme I get that Pinkie is sensitive herself (which makes her insensitivity all the more annoying) but it still bothers me how often that flaw of hers comes up, and how often everyone else tries to avoid it. Maybe if they told her the truth more often she would not have this complex? I don't know.

As someone whose favourite pony is Pinkie Pie I sure do have a lot to criticize! Well why couldn't she have gone WITH someone to fix Cheese Sandwich in her final episode? And why did they paint Pinkie so dumb in the trivia episode? Yeah she may not have knowledge of everything, but I would imagine with Pinkie's ridiculous organization skills and photographic memory she'd know SOME things. Often these types of characters are wiser than they seem, as a sort of comedic contrast to their personality. I've seen that kind of wisdom come from Pinkie before, but nope! She dumb. Hurr. Especially when the other contestants were largely other ponies of average minds. Like Rainbow Dash is there, and she isn't notable in terms of her study habits, so what gives? I'm not even gonna start with Yakity-Sax.

It's sad when the later Pinkie episodes aren't that great when compared to her champion marathon through season four. Seriously ALL of her episodes in season four were absolute top-tier. Season five was okay, but it all died when the Yaks were introduced. I dunno if they're a symptom necessarily, or a causation, but the episodes did drop in quality when her episodes only involved Yaks or Maud. Yeah I liked the Maud episodes but those were because of Maud, not Pinkie. 

But ANYWAY, about the other ships. I've already given my two cents on the Monos. Well, not necessarily. The reason they're also low isn't because Bumblebee is a thing, even if it is, it's because as the series went on with the White Fang conflict, it seemed like a no-brainer that the Schnee Dust Company and thus Weiss would enter the subplot one way or another, considering the White Fang and the SDC are opposites and enemies. But unfortunately, any nuance or subtlety that plot had was thrown out the window when Adam's character was reduced to that of a psychotic ex-boyfriend. It was like any passion he had in his movement, even if he was extreme, was thrown on the wayside for his absolute pursuit of Blake and everyone Blake loves, specifically Yang. It was a political story about discrimination and oppression, but instead of going for everything they set up for as early as the trailers themselves, it just became like a twisted love-triangle thing to advance romance. Like I wasn't expecting Blake or Weiss to get together, but I knew from their backstories they had this thematic conflict brewing and it would reach a climax one day, with great payoff, but instead we the audience are shocked to see Adam branded with the SDC logo, and then killed off, and Weiss not being a part of any of this. She never even met him! Even if what I expected to happen DID happen and Bumblebee sailed anyway, I'd be less upset. Maybe I'd be upset in the "but they had such great dynamic through their shared pasts!" argument, but at least the story I thought would come to fruition actually did, and if Bumblebee happens it happens.

And somehow these two ships are lower than the one where one is DEAD. Even if Himiko has in canon only ever shown interest in men, and even if she'd never see Tenko beyond a potential friend, when their friendship was finally turning a new leaf and then DEATH, they are still higher than those two. Y'know why? BECAUSE THEIR STORIES DID HAPPEN. THEY CAME TO A CONCLUSION AND WENT SOMEWHERE. Whereas Pinkie and Fluttershy never had an episode despite being TWO of the main characters in a show called FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC in the span of over TWO HUNDRED EPISODES, and where Blake and Weiss had massive foreshadowing for some sort of racial and political plot from as EARLY AS THEIR TRAILERS which started in the first two seasons but then never went ANYWHERE, at least Tenko and Himiko's stories HAPPENED!! 

And I love their tragic story. Their subplot and characters may be underappreciated by fans, but the writer did not shy away from their progress. Tenko was written to advance Himiko's character. This is true, because Tenko's story ended before the halfway mark, and Himiko went on to survive. But even so, what we did get of Tenko is someone who was genuinely in love with, and cared for the person that is Himiko. She started off with a very shallow and superficial crush that evolved over time to something beautiful. When she saw that Himiko was not the perfect mage girl she had dreamed of, she did her utmost to protect her and guide her along the right path, to help mould Himiko to that ideal. Himiko was suffering and needed someone to be there for her, and for most of the first two chapters it could not be Tenko, because Tenko still only saw Himiko as a shallow crush, but when it came time to defend Himiko when she became a suspect, and when Himiko fell into the cult at her weakest hour, Tenko was there to defend, to go undercover, to protect and assist. Himiko's escapism was met with Tenko's grounded philosophy, so even if the ship could never come true, even if Tenko lived, their stories were intertwined together. They could not exist without the other in the plot! Himiko would be dead if not for Tenko, and Tenko may have had no one to latch on as a morality pet without Himiko what with her overdone and one-note hatred of men.

I don't think I really need to bother with the other three, but I will say my current favourite OTPs are... the ones in the bottom 3. Alas! This is not unique to this ship either. I recall being similarly upset with KazuSayo from Negima. Every character in the class would have their pactio chapter one-day, where they enter a contract with the main character. It was something that always happened and usually did after some character discovered magic's existence, but not necessarily right after. Kazumi discovered it way long ago but only entered the contract in the final arc, but what I was waiting for was for Sayo's. Usually anyone with even an inkling of a crush on the main character got lots of spotlight and panel time for their pactio, and Sayo did have a minor one. I was waiting with eager anticipation for Sayo's chapter, so I'd see more Sayo and therefore Kazumi since they were best friends. They even teased it in like the first page or the front page of the magazine the manga was published in, but it NEVER HAPPENED because Negima suddenly ended. THE SALT I HAD was unfathomable. It's not as if it ended without a conclusion because it got cancelled somehow. The mangaka ended it himself as a protest for some law. A story he had been illustrating for like eight years suddenly over. He simply rushed out a conclusion and epilogue despite many story beats only starting or in the process of, and ended it.

I waited many years for that pactio. Sayo's knowledge of magic came quite shortly after her first appearance, what with magic being required for her to be seen, so I was not a happy camper to say the least. My investment on the actual plot and the more important characters was waning, especially since it had become a full-blown shounen manga, and the main character's power level had advanced so far that all of his students, even the most powerful ones with like one exception could not possibly catch up and could only play support. Only the male characters he meets or already knows with great passion for fighting could rival him, which made the story all the more boring and annoying. A story with such a varied cast of females reduced to that of support in a shounen manga was just not something I felt inclined to follow. My only reason for reading on was for the supposedly-inevitable and even teased Sayo pactio. But it never happened.

I am sad that that scenario happened not once, but twice again. 

spotto: (Q_Q)
Y'know I praise DRV3 a lot.

SO LET'S DO THE OPPOSITE!

Spoilers of course. Of fucking course. 

Instead of picking apart something that has been picked apart for ages, like saying DRV3's very divisive ending, Imma talk about the characters who I love so much. The cast of V3 is the strongest of any of the games to date, and I have said many words or at least, thought many words of why this is so. But no matter how good characters are, they are not perfect, so here are some of my gripes about certain characters and what could have been done better.

Let's start off with Himiko, a character I defend to the death for!!

SHE HAS SHIT TASTE. THE END.

Okay, well by that I mean, her vision of Atua is simply a handsome man. Now, that's pretty boring and non-relatable. I say this as Himiko is the most relatable character I've ever encountered so anything I cannot even BEGIN to fathom at all annoys me more than usual. This of course also combines with my obvious bias in my shipping preferences, but I guess she can swing two ways maybe. The point is how boring her tastes are, and sometimes nonsensical or to the level of the most typical teenage girl that it makes me want to gag. Like how some girls unironically like Twilight and its characters. Himiko's wonderful and insightful love hotel event reveals she fantasizes about getting it on with a humanized wolf. 

._.

BUT NOT ONLY THAT, in chapter four in I guess an attempt to expand Himiko's ability as the comedic relief, she was one of the few enthralled by the incestual soap opera-like escapades the remaining Monokubs were partaking on during announcements, as if she were not only into any plot that even involves incest, but shitty cliche soap operas too. Himiko. You do realize in LITERALLY THE VERY LAST CHAPTER, which was like, oh I dunno, YESTERDAY, the man who MURDERED YOUR TWO BEST FRIENDS did so because of his INFATUATION with his SISTER. INCEST MURDERED YOUR FRIENDS. WHY DO YOU LIKE TWO SHITTY BEAR SIBLINGS GETTING IT ON AND HAVING DRAMATIC ABUSIVE PLOTS OR WHATEVER. WHAT EVEN ARE YOU!??!?!??

Then in chapter five's trial, in a string of dialogue and events that I also found amusing among many others, was when Exisal Kokichi was messing around with Himiko (who granted, is incredibly easy to troll) and mentioned that Himiko liked him. Of course Himiko denied this because Kokichi had been a complete douchenozzle ruining everything and dividing everyone in everything at this point, having essentially ended the lives of two people a trial prior and is the mastermind responsible for the killing game (or at least what everyone believes at this point) so he is LITERALLY the WORST. 

Himiko denies it and then rebutes with a strong, "NUH-UH, I HATE YOU!" Which is very reasonable. A perfectly normal human being would have such an opinion. Heck, anyone in this situation would. Almost everyone, even. (I mean this as an in-universe thing, as a character Kokichi is absolutely fascinating and I can totally understand his widespread popularity as annoying as it is when he's overexposed all over the place) But then Kokichi counters with,

"But I like yooooou~" like a kid teasing another on the playground.

And then Himiko blushes.

IT WAS FUNNY, YES. I chuckled. I laughed. OH BOY I was amused. But thinking about it logically.... wtf Himiko? It makes me think that, should she actually pursue a relationship with like...ANYBODY, she would be easily taken advantage of because she's so lovestruck. She'd be that girl who would stay with their abusive partner because of denial that they were abusive or a terrible person. She'd pursue the asshole bad boy simply because they were hot. And stay with them. Because they are hot. Heck in the same trial she enjoys Monokuma's antics and starts even coming around to him, like maybe he really is cute and really is on their side HIMIKO THIS BEAR EXECUTED ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND PUT YOU IN THIS HORRIFIC ORDEAL IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Which of course wraps around to OF COURSE this character drank the kool-aid. OF COURSE SHE WAS THE FIRST ONE TO. She must have been the absolute easiest person to convert in the history of Angie's time as an oracle.

I will say though, that just because Himiko appears so weak throughout the game doesn't necessarily mean she's like, weaker than average to a considerable degree. Sure she's the shortest girl, weighs the least, isn't strong physically whatsoever due to her laziness, and because of her weak will is even more vulnerable, but what I mean is compared to the rest of the cast she stands out as the weakest. I only point this out because I feel using the abusive partner example might imply that people in that situation are in that because they themselves are weak and it's their fault for having fallen into that situation in the first place. Of course not. It's something that anybody can fall prey to, and Himiko being an example is not an outlier. These kids are all teenagers. They've barely emotionally matured yet a majority of them are like, demigods when it comes to mental fortitude or emotional maturity. Beyond even the average adult. Himiko is relatable because she is what all of us WOULD be in a killing game. We'd be anxious. We'd try to find a way to distract ourselves from the traumatizing events surrounding us. We'd close our emotions and try to guard ourselves mentally as well to keep ourselves alive. So we don't seem vulnerable, so we won't be the next victim.

I mean, I say we but I mostly mean myself. I dunno if most people will be like that. I am ASSUMING most people are like that, but maybe they're Kaedes instead who will take charge and make plans and get themselves killed in their ridiculously ambitious ploys. Who knows.

But yes. Himiko has shit taste. And you know, I haven't even spelled out the biggest reason she has the worst, most awful taste in the history of mankind. 

Not liking Tenko. At least not immediately. At least not when she was flesh and soul, anyway. You know, the Tenko at her most Tenko. Living, I mean. Anyone who hates Tenko indeed has the worst, most awful taste in the history of mankind. I cannot relate. I cannot understand.

KIIBO.

I like that spelling of his name the best, btw.

But yes, Kiibo.

Often, when the opinionated threads come about and people throw around who the best cast of girls or boys in a game is, the boys of V3 stand out. They are apparently the best. And well, they are not wrong. Shuichi is a magnificent protagonist. Korekiyo is a fascinating, enthralling fountain of memes. I do not even have to say a word about Kokichi. Kaito is a solid Kamina. Ryoma was someone who I found myself wanting to learn so much about, with his unique backstory and his clinical depression. Gonta though simplified a little too much in the localization, was helpful in so many ways with noticing the clue words and the bugs, pointing out the strange constellations, being surprisingly more useful in the trials than one would expect, and having a tragic, pitiful end at the climax of chapter four. Rantaro was a plot device, but at least he has the excuse of having the least amount of screentime, and I guess he's eyecandy or whatever. (SHUICHI IS THE PRETTIEST BOY IN DANGANRONPA AND NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE) 

Then there's Kiibo.

I do like Kiibo as a character. I like his personality, backstory. He also has some entertaining FTEs and one of the better Love Hotel segments. (I wager one of the best, actually) but in the context of the main plot.... he, like Rantaro, was ultimately a plot device. But again, Rantaro has the excuse of not living very long. Kiibo lasts the entire game.

...

Let me explain.

Kiibo doesn't really, at least during the main plot, form a cast herd with anybody. Like how you have Shuichi, Kaito, Maki, or the three girls Tenko, Himiko, and Angie. I sometimes see him with Kokichi, Gonta, and Miu as a quartet, which makes sense because they are all connected in some way, but not to each other directly. More like, Kiibo hangs out with Miu, who is murdered by Gonta, who is always manipulated by Kokichi, who always insults Miu, who also always insults Kiibo. I guess you could call this quartet Kokichi's bitches or something. But there's no strong connection between like, Kiibo and Kokichi, or Kiibo and Gonta. Kiibo's only really close to Miu, and Miu insults and belittles literally everyone, which leads us to one of Kiibo's biggest problems.

He EXISTS TO BE BULLIED.

When I read Kiibo's artbook notes, I was rather disappointed by the direction the writer was going with him. Apparently, one of the BIGGEST ASPECTS of Kiibo, planned from the get-go or at least planned meticulously, was that he would be bullied. Like all the time. His personality would be that of one who is easily bullied, and he'd have the assertiveness of a doormat, and the strength of a senior citizen. He is easily offended because of ROBOPHOBIA, and anytime he does pull out anything of that would make use of his unique robot talent, it'd be incredibly mundane. Some of these I did find amusing yes, but when he had no emotional connection to any character nor any plot going on, nor was ever like a suspect of any trial, or anything at all, it was easy to forget Kiibo existed. Often I'd try to remember the cast of V3, and name them off, and then name fifteen, and I've be like.... "wait didn't I get all of them? Who am I missing... .OH RIGHT KIIBO." Every. Single. Time.

Because for five chapters Kiibo was a joke. He existed only for this running gag. There wasn't anything expanded on his relationship with Miu that made Miu's death more heartbreaking like say Maki with Kaito, Himiko with Tenko, or Shuichi with Kaede. When it finally came time for Kiibo to be useful, and I mean useful in a way that didn't just directly come from Miu messing with his internals and giving him more features, but something Kiibo choose to do himself, it was all for the plot device. With Kiibo exploding everything, we can explore and investigate the school! With Kiibo with these badass powers, he can blow up a hole for the survivors to escape! With Kiibo being the audience surrogate, we can explain away his passivity throughout the entire game! Like at what point did Kiibo have any actual agency? Only when it was time to wrap up and conclude the plot.

The reason why I am so convinced of this is that Kiibo is just thrown away once he was no longer useful to the plot. A robot character in a setting where characters dying it is not only possible, BUT COMMONPLACE? They have literally zero chance of surviving. He self-destructs like how any other robot character in some touching movie might do as a heroic sacrifice to allow the rest to live.... which would be sad and touching and all, if Kiibo was ever respected as a standalone character. 

But he wasn't. He was made the butt-of-the-joke for the entirety of the game, No one had any emotional attachment to him, befriended him, helped him get over his robot insecurities outside of FTEs, and when it came time to sacrifice himself no one cried. Because the game gave us no reason to cry for him, because the robot that exploded wasn't even the real Kiibo, but the ~OUTSIDE WORLD~ and the real Kiibo had already been erased. And none of the three survivors were like "OH NO POOR KIIBO, or KIIBO SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR US, no. No, it was the outside world that chose for them to live, at least that was Shuichi's hypothesis. When Kiibo did die near the end of the trial, there was an attempt to make us feel sad that he was about to be erased, but it was done almost like an afterthought. It went by very fast, and like some characters were sad, like Himiko. Y'know, the character Kiibo's artbook entry mentioned that he considered one of the worst because she did a lot of the bullying near the end after characters like Kokichi and Miu weren't in the picture. And I'm not saying Himiko SHOULDN'T be sad, oh she should, but just the manner this whole death scene was written just felt insulting to Kiibo's character.

Even the writers did not see him beyond just a robot, beyond just a buttmonkey, beyond just a plot device. The writers THEMSELVES were robophobic.

Speaking of Himiko, when the first two chapters hinted that she was a victim of bullying, it makes it that much more odd that she did most of the Kiibo bullying post-Kokichi. I thought maybe they were making some sort of POIGNANT MESSAGE that lots of people who are bullied can also bully others, but ... since it was never brought up or actually hinted at... that's just wishful thinking or putting too much thought into it. They just did it because Kiibo did not exist to be anything but what he was. And that's sad. I see some Kiibo fans who dislike Himiko strongly for her treatment of Kiibo in chapters four and five, but I mean... while true that wasn't so much an aspect of Himiko but how Kiibo himself was written in the story. To be bullied. Literally no one came to his defence. Ever. Either a character bullied him or they just stood to the side and let it happen. If Kiibo was upset about something like say, the hydraulic press not stopping when it's meant to when it detects a living organism, no one really comforts Kiibo or whatever. I don't remember if Shuichi said anything but it feels like he only really treated Kiibo beyond as just some robot in the FTEs and Love Hotel, and not really anywhere else.

Kiibo deserved better. Deserved WAY better.

Now we shall return to our regular schedule of Danganronpa girls. GIRLS ONLY. BOYS DROOL. Unlike the boy category, V3 girls usually aren't picked for best cast of girls in the franchise. Now I have come up with many reasons why this is, as in why this is such a common opinion. Some of them are shallow, like say how the SDR2 girls tend to have goofier less three-dimensional backstories if any at all, and most of them are usually quite kind or fun, or relatively likable without any crippling flaws or whatever. You sympathize with Peko's plight. Everyone wants to be Ibuki's friend. Sonia's country is amusing. Chiaki is the most perfect waifu ever, etc. Sure you got characters like Saionji sticking out, but she's the ONLY one. It's like every single flaw that should be balanced out amongst the characters was shoehorned into JUST Saionji. ._. But yeah, I find that the SDR2 girls are very likable, but not as interesting as the V3 girls. Sure Akane has oodles of flaws and grates on some people, but she gets like, Nidai to keep her going and has an interesting backstory of a thousand siblings... 

V3 meanwhile, has the most likable most perfect waifu material being Kaede. A leader archetype who is kind and assertive and takes charge!! She also tries to kill someone. Sure it was of noble intentions, but she also tries to kill someone with a well-thought out complicated plan that requires setting up in front of others who trust her like Shuichi, and doing so without anyone noticing. That is some cold-blooded premeditated shit right there. It's stuff like that that makes Kaede more interesting, more three-dimensional. Why, a perfect waifu character? HAVE HER TRY TO MURDER!! 

Then we have Kirumi, who many have criticized as having the most wasted potential. While I see their point, I think personally I enjoyed Kirumi's character because it ripped apart the perfect maid persona I'm not especially fond of. You see, there is this Touhou character named Sakuya, a perfect and elegant maid. She has oodles of fans, and I can't for the life of me figure out why beyond she is cool. She's COOL. But what flaws does she have? What makes her beyond just, the perfect and elegant maid? We have no detail of any backstory. She's human and not supernatural but has one of the most powerful abilities, STOPPING TIME. For some reason she can throw knives with expert aim... why? How did she learn this? REFERENCE TO JOJO is not an excuse. And she is eternally devoted to Remilia... because... because reasons. Well okay. At least with future servant-like characters who tend to be fifth boss characters they have slightly more explanation to them. Youmu inherited the job from her grandfather. Reisen escaped from the Lunarian army and has taken refuge at Eientei. Sanae is Suwako's descendant. The youkai are the mansion owner's pets. The youkai are devoted to Byakuren's religion. Miko the most supreme leader and master of politics has some dumb minions stolen from two families fighting one another in a war Miko herself orchestrated. You know, REASONS! 

Though I am super digressing at this point. People can perfectly like a character for just being cool. I just don't do that kind of thing. I'm the type of person who sees Tenko for the very first time and thinks that's the worst designed DR character ever, then discover her role and personality in the game itself and love her to pieces. Design be damned. In fact, I love Tenko's design now. Not just because I happen to like Tenko, but literally she is designed like so due to her personality. Tenko dresses like so because that's who she is. And that's beautiful.

But still, seeing Kirumi I was intrigued just because, well, it's Sakuya again, but in a setting like DR ANYTHING could happen that could make her more interesting, and even if for most it was lost potential or disappointing, or ridiculous like the random political backstory that came up , the fact that Kirumi actually ran from her execution without any care to appearance or elegance or to serve others or TO BE PERFECT or anything, was just damn awesome and refreshing. She's doing something out of her own selfish desire. She claims it is for her nation and her people, but if she genuinely believes people would be lost without her and her life is valued much higher than thirteen others, then yes. That is selfish. That's BEYOND selfish. That' seeing oneself as far superior over the rest, and it's like Kaede, such a nice twist to her character.

Angie... I have nothing. I am sorry.

The problem with Angie is, unlike the other two examples of characters who seem to perfect or hyper-competent who are humanized with real, fatal flaws, Angie is instead... like, not human? She is happy all the time. She has NO sprites that aren't happy or at least not content in some way. No negative emotion exists. I suppose not being a culprit doesn't help, but plenty of victims in this game are very human! Ryoma is relatable and sad, Tenko I cannot even stop talking about, Miu well, lol. And Kokichi... Imma stop. These examples are super obvious. Angie tho? What is Angie? A plot device maybe? I hesitate to go that far. After each execution she watches she is the only one smiling. She is praying to Atua of course, but who can fucking smile after two of the most brutal executions in the DR franchise?  Being hung and swung around a bunch while being stoned and then ultimately crushed? Climbing a thorny vine, up through motorized saws just to crash back into the earth in a sickening thud of shattered bones and organs? I can't even take Angie seriously if she's meant to be some sort of example of how the writer views religion or whatever. Like she's written in a way I cannot even understand or relate to. She's a cult leader in the most straightforward of manners. Her talent is quite interesting but has nothing relevant when it comes to her personality, which is 100% Atua and spirituality. No shred of anything else except maybe a hint that Angie is lonely or whatever in an FTE...

Nope, still got nothing.

Even Korekiyo, infamous seesaw wielder and eager participant of familial relations is more human than Angie. His motive at least, in some way can be understandable. He wants his sister to be happy. That's his motive at its core. Sure, he's absolutely insane in viewing death being merely an inconvenience so him murdering girls over and over again doesn't seem morally wrong to him, but he can be angry, and sad, and upset, and cornered, etc. It seems like underneath the mountain of issues that is Kork, there was once a human there. It's visible under the mask, under the tulpa. His passion for anthropology is legit too. It feels real. He talks about it all the time and is able to relate to whatever situation is at the moment to something in his field, but he's not like 100% anthropology. I can feel his passion in it, but he's again, not 100% anthropology. His outfit is absurd looking. He spends eons doing his hair, so he has to wake up at like 6 in the morning to prepare for the day. Korekiyo is my third favourite character of V3. This is DESPITE murdering my waifu. This is DESPITE his crazy weird unnerving disturbing incest twist. He is THAT interesting. 

But nah, got nothing for Angie. 

Miu... well, Miu is hit or miss. Heck most if not all the V3 girls are hit or miss. The ones I really like are hit. Like REAL hit. Hit to the extreme, so I always rate the V3 gals like, #1 when it comes to best V3 cast. Miu is very hit for me. I enjoy her stupid vulgar humour, and her ability to not offend me when she, like seconds after we discover a body, immediately insults them. She calls Ryoma fish shit moments after his body is obliterated by Piranha, and Tenko "Cunt-fu" right after they find her body. I'M NOT OFFENDED! That's my waifu you're talking bout, Miu! But I don't care! I dunno how they did it but they made Miu work. I applaud the localization for Miu. Now yes, Miu's motive for attempting to murder that got her killed in chapter four kind of sucks. But I dunno, it still feels in-character. No one in-universe actually likes Miu that much due to how unpleasant she is, and Kiibo is unique in that Miu is able to upgrade him and such, so I can't really categorize that has genuine friendship exactly. So Miu feeling the same way back to everyone else, and being so full of herself and her ability that the world would be far worst-off without her on the outside inventing makes sense. Of course she'd try to murder. It's like Kirumi without the twist and far more amusing. 

But beyond just vulgar jokes, Miu is human too. Shocking I know. She's a coward essentially. And revealed through the Love Hotel has some abandonment issues as well. With the FTEs with Kaede, she actually insults people for attention because she has no friends, and just wants company. It's actually rather sad, but it gives Miu dimension, so even if she did go out kind of idiotically... well, I mean. Miu's an idiot. So....

Well, V3's comedic relief characters are ridiculously good. Even if the ONLY character being comedic relief was Miu or Kokichi, it'd still be better than the first two games. I don't recall laughing at anything Nagito ever did, and Miu is like Hiyoko done right. Even when these two are gone we still had Himiko who was a solid number three in the chuckle category so that the ending wasn't all bleak and despair. I don't recall the survivors or last few characters of 1 or 2 providing any solid laughs. Hagakure doesn't fucking count whatsoever, and shame on you for even thinking of him. I guess Genocide Jack was good. DR2's jesters died with Ibuki and Gundam.

Anyway, Maki Harukawa, the opposite of comedy.

Yes she's Shadow the Hedgehog in Anime girl form. Yes she's ultra edgy. Yes her character arc is super cliche. Yes, it revolves entirely around Kaito. Yes she got away with too much and wasn't called out for trying to get everyone killed in the chapter five trial like Asahina did in DR1 chapter four. Yes she might be the creator's waifu. Okay, getting all THAT out of the way, I don't actually mind Maki that much. I mean wow she does have flaws. Like oodles and oodles of them! She's certainly human. I give her that. But yes props for getting the ultimate assassin to actually assassinate someone and then get away scott-free! Truly her talent shines above all.

No I'm not being sarcastic. I genuinely believe since Monokuma had no way to view how the chapter five murder took place, that Maki easily could have been the blackened, and being the Ultimate Assassin she probably was, but Kaito was executed anyway because I dunno he was instilling too much hope into the cast, and could have also killed Kokichi or whatever. Heroic sacrifices y'all. That's all I have to say about Maki.

Finally, we have Tsumugi. Yeah all that stuff about Kiibo? Also Tsumugi. Except replace the running gag of being bullied with anime references and PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN. I heard they put real effort into researching cosplay and her FTEs are pretty bountiful with some relatable cosplay events or such, but otherwise I cannot really think of much to say except, exists and then is the mastermind yaaaaayyyy.

I must reluctantly end this here as I am starving and tired and it is 4am. GOTTA STOP SOMEWHERE. I wrote about most characters maybe. 

Nighto!

The dream.

Jan. 15th, 2018 10:16 pm
spotto: (Default)
Yadda yadda DRV3 spoilers, you get the drill.

HELLO BLOG!!

HELLO!

I AM HERE TODAY, ON THIS RAREST OF DAYS OF WHICH I AM HERE

TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE GREATEST VIDEO GAME CHARACTER IN EXISTENCE

I FEEL LIKE SHOEHORNING THIS CHARACTER AS MERELY ONE FROM A "VIDEO GAME" IS A MASSIVE DISSERVICE TO THEM

RATHER, I MOSTLY REFER TO HER AS MY WIFE

YES, THE WEEABOO TRADITION OF DECLARING A FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER

BELIEVE IT OR NOT HOWEVER, I HAVE NEVER CALLED ANY PREVIOUS FAVOURITE CHARACTERS OF MINE MY WIFE OR WAIFU

THE CLOSEST WAS WEISS, WHO I DECLARED WAS MY HUSBANDO EVERY TIME I SAW BEAUTIFUL FANART OF HER IN NORMALLY TRADITIONAL MASCULINE CLOTHING, LIKE SUSPENDERS OR MEDIEVAL KNIGHT ARMOUR OR WHAT HAVE YOU

BUT THAT WAS ONLY A MERE FANTASY OF WEISS, IN CLOTHING SHE HAS NEVER CANONICALLY WORN AND THUS I, THROUGH THE IMAGINARY AND ARBITRARY RULES OF CHOOSING A WAIFU, CANNOT OFFICIALLY DECLARE HER AS MY HUSBANDO

I SAW A PRETTY GIRL COSPLAY AS HER, AND WANTED TO MARRY THEM. I VIEWED THEIR OTHER COSPLAYS, AND THOUGH THEY REMAINED PRETTY AND THEIR TALENT IN COSPLAY CRAFT UNRIVALED, I DID NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY

AND ALTHOUGH SHE MAY BE A VIOLENT, GULLIBLE, FASHION DISASTER OF A MISANDRIST, I CANNOT HELP BUT LOVE HER

Ye. You know who I'm talking about.

Read more... )
spotto: (Stage One.)
THAR BE DANGANRONPA V3 SPOILERS BELOW. YE BE WARNED.

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An opinion I've noticed here and there about DR is which cast is the best. Some people love the SDR2 kids the best, others find V3 better, and the unpopular opinion tends to be the DR1 cast, who of course had the disadvantage of being first, and thus before the many improvements of the mechanics and story of the games. Trials are shorter, chapters shorter, cases usually simpler, and thus less depth for whatever character died next or who the culprit was or who developed throughout the game due to the various murdery events.

Anyway occasionally that splits into categories, like which rival was the best, which protag, which female lead, or say a group! Which protagonist trio was superior? Who was the best died for our sins character? Which cinnamon roll was least bland? Etc. I think I mentioned this in an earlier post, but which cast of girls was the best was one I tended to pay quite attention to for obvious reasons. My favourite characters have mostly been girls in DR, and I am not here to elaborate why. Anyway either someone is throwing about their opinion often and everywhere, or that one of the more popular opinions is that the strength of V3's cast lies mostly on the guys, not the girls. In fact the girls were much better in SDR2! Basically, the best husbandos came from V3 and the best waifus were from SDR2. I can kinda see that opinion in a way, though I don't necessarily agree with it.

I think largely it comes down to how many in a cast were comprised of JOKE characters. For instance in SDR2, a lot of the male characters were joke characters in some way and either weren't plot relevant or only stuck around to provide comedy relief. What they might bring to the story itself is pretty minimal, and they're harder to take seriously when they aren't well, serious. Characters like Hanamura, Kazuichi, Nidai, and Gundam were quite over the top characters no matter how much you enjoyed their vibrant personalities. Also in terms of conventionally attractive characters, not a lot to choose from on the male side either. You got the protag who tends to look generic and bland, and even if you did like Hajime's design you  rarely got to see him outside of trials The Imposter, Hanamura, and Nidai all fall outside the range of being a cute anime boy, and while it's a stretch, it's not as if Kazuichi or Fuyuhiko are designed to be that boytoy yummy looking character all the fangirls can latch onto. Well, I mean maybe Fuyuhiko. Depends what you're looking for. Gundam can even be a bit too extreme for some people's tastes, and so you're left with well...Komaeda.

Hm. Yeah.

So not A LOT to choose from in terms of someone who has like, the most boring and standard taste in the world. Meanwhile there are many girls in that realm of conventionally attractive. Even our female lead, Chiaki, brings to the table quite a lot, from her cute design to her huge rack to lure in the guys and girls that are into that and her common interest with the player themselves, gaming... add to it her relevance to the plot and that's already one of many. Kazuichi often sings the praises of Sonia, who comes in looking like the typical Aryan beauty. Ibuki's here with her loud design that still looks pleasing to the eye along with her personality. Peko's attractive and looks like she can kill you. Akane comes in with the boobs, but she doesn't really win crowds in the depth or character department sadly. Mahiru looks a tad bland, but you could say design-wise she's like the equivalent of Hajime, and so our only minuses are the unpleasant and tiny Saionji. Oh and of course there's Mikan around to win crowds as well with her sympathy-bait traits. I could go on-and-on-and-on... I might be bringing up the design aspect a bit too much, but there are less joke characters in this crowd. Akane and her food? Sure. Maaaaybe Ibuki? She brings in a sense of emotional attachment and fun as well, though I could be biased. Saionji if you consider her screentime to be amusing in any way... I don't. But most of the females are fairly serious and are stuck with some sort of tragic backstory, tragic circumstance, or some other suspenseful, emotional attachment to the plot that's not meant to be laughed at. 

V3 on the other hand we have very plot relevant characters in the guys, even in Rantaro when he was killed off first! Including Rantaro we also have Kokichi and Kaito as well influencing the plot. These three characters aren't jokes whatsoever and have conventional attractiveness to their designs, nothing wacky and crazy. Our musclehead Gonta is meant less to look over-the-top (he looks far more toned-down design-wise compared to previous beefcakes) and is this game's resident sympathy-sink instead. Kork may be batshit insane to the extreme, but he provided great intrigue while alive and before the ridiculous twist, while also maintaining the conventional design (albeit with the creepy add-ons) in the aesthetics department. I'd equal him with Gundam in that sense. Ryoma may have looked ridiculous but his personality was anything but, and he was quite loved by those who understood his struggles. Shuichi has long eyelashes and is our angsting little protag who shows up in the game where we get to see the protag's sprite lots! I'm pretty sure I just mentioned literally every male character here. Not a single one of them is a joke character.

Oh right Kiibo. Why do I always forget about him. Well TECHNICALLY he is neither male nor female, but in the interest of this discussion, he too is plot relevant (eventually) and tho was treated as a joke many times it was moreso other characters utterly disrespecting him in the interest of comedy as opposed to Kiibo himself that was the joke.

Meanwhile our female cast do not fare as strongly in this department. We could have had our wonderful female protagonist, but she died, she died! Really early on in fact, and though remains throughout the story as an emotional connection especially to Shuichi and his lingering development, wasn't relevant to the plot as much as Rantaro was. Everyone still loves Kaede tho. Then we have Kirumi who while of course looks pretty of course wasn't plot relevant, did not have an attachment to any particular character (bonds always make characters stronger than when they're alone!) and dies early. She's got an infamous execution at least... ? Angie's sort of a hatesink in the interest of developing a conflict that comes to its pique in chapter three, while Tenko, Himiko, and Miu all contribute to the story either emotionally or in Miu's case, through her talent, can easily be summarized as joke characters too. Joke characters with more depth than the joke ones from SDR2, who might only have gained depth in their FTEs if lucky, but compared to the rest are joke characters nonetheless. Maki is controversial. Oh and Tsumugi is boring with her one-trick reference bit, who does nothing until she's revealed to be the mastermind, but she's not really the real TOTAL mastermind controlling absolutely everything like Junko was, and her twist sort of comes out of nowhere instead of being foreshadowed leaving Tsumugi left as moreso a before-and-after character.. so yeah ....

Also aside from Maki, none of them are nearly as plot relevant as the males. Sadness.

STILL. 

I think the reason why I prefer the V3 cast, including the females, or rather ESPECIALLY the females over the SDR2 cast is due to the depth. Like let's take both Miu and Kazuichi for instance, two characters with similar talents who serve as comedic relief and as a sort of pathetic jokey character in both games. I like Miu better. Why? Miu contributed quite a bit to the plot with her talent, but not only that her brand of comedy was always such a breath of fresh air in V3. The atmosphere is always dreary and sad and emo, then Miu comes out of nowhere with the most creative vulgar insult or slur ever, and how she reacts when others fight back is even better. She's consistently entertaining in her own unique way, which Kazuichi never really provided. His inventions weren't quite as dynamic, then again he is a mechanic not an inventor, and he mostly ran around being a coward, or accusing Hajime of things, or hitting on Sonia. Nothing that stood out. That Kazuichi survived and Miu didn't is kind of a shame in that sense, but DR is DR. The series doesn't discriminate when it comes to whoever dies or lives. Well okay, except to muscle people. Gain any sense of tone in your arms and death is guaranteed. ):

Or another example is how often people complain that a useless character lived, like Hagakure or Akane. They didn't contribute to the plot and their participation in trials did nothing to help advance the trial itself. Now V3 only has the luxury of three survivors, so by default Himiko is the traditional 'useless' survivor, yet when people complain about her longevity I get upset. Sure she's one of if not my absolute favourite of V3 so I'm biased, but it's not as if Himiko is useless entirely! She may be a bit of a joke character and not do much in trials, but just the sheer fact that she developed as a character made her far more useful than any of the other so-called 'useless' survivors ever were! Her contributions to the game were mainly emotional and I'm a sucker for emotional shit, so what can I say? Also with Danganronpa's tendency to shoo out the clowns, one of the survivors is always meant to be a comic relief character, but always one of the more subdued ones because God forbid we have Gundam's mannerisms ruin the suspense of chapter sx's many twists! Himiko is one of those, just like Akane or... well I dunno how Hagakure counts since he did seem over-the-top from the get-go, but his survival is a mystery to all to the point that he himself is entirely a joke with no substance whatsoever. Or at least that's what Danganronpa itself loves to imply, anyway. Who can disagree with that?

But in essence the V3 girls feel a lot more three dimensional due to heir flaws, but not only that they have flaws, but how those flaws are presented. A character like say... Mahiru is sort of plain, and her flaws are little harder to define, but they're there. She has the tendency to lecture, chastises how boys act a lot, and forgives Saionji's actions far too often for her own good. But while her flaws were understated and harder to see, so too were her virtues. What's great about Mahiru? She's not as insane as her other over-the-top classmates? She's nice? She's relatable? I don't know.

Now we have Tenko, who IS over-the-top with her flaws, and is sort of ridiculous. You might say, well that's an SDR2 character right there! But then Tenko brings with her pretty obvious virtues too. While she insults and belittles boys without holding back, she also compliments and encourages girls without holding back either! She starts off seemingly having a selfish and superficial crush on Himiko, but over time we learn she also wants to befriend Himiko first and worries for her psyche and well-being too! To the point that she'd go out of her way to defend her, or to secretly infiltrate a cult just to make sure she's okay, to even giving speeches to the girl to keep her spirits up! It's really heartwarming in a way. Tenko's kind of like a much more well-defined Mahiru. It magnifies the flaws all the more, from the nagging of boys to the ASSAULT of boys, but then it also magnifies the virtues. Mahiru for some reason is okay with Saionji getting away with shit. Why? Well she probably understands her or whatever and wants to improve her as a person, but we can't really see Mahiru's intents that well. We could easily believe Mahiru's a hypocrite who chastises a guy for being mean but is completely okay with Saionji doing it instead due to her innocent appearance.

Meanwhile, Tenko's so obvious about how she feels it's impossible to misinterpret her intents. Yeah. she hates men, but she clearly likes Himiko, and clearly wants Himiko to have a better view of life, and thus a more healthy way of living, leading to a flourishing lifestyle. This extends to how Tenko acts around say, other characters like Kaede or Shuichi, but those fall into FTE territory. Even without the FTEs, there are moments in the game where the writing seems to conveniently forget about Tenko's androphobia for the purposes of plot, like when Tenko throws Shuichi (thus touching him when she was repulsed doing so in the FTE) and subsequently reads Shuichi's true inner conflicts and gives him advice. Well that was random and good, all of a sudden! It's like Tenko's biggest flaw might only be there for comedic purposes or something.... but bad writing or not, it's refreshing because it leaves Tenko as less of a one-note character. In this sense, Tenko feels like she has dimension. She's extreme, but she almost seems more realistic somehow... I don't know how to describe it.

Another comparison is Kaede and Chiaki. Kaede starts off seemingly like an endgame Chiaki, there to encourage everyone while never doing wrong. While Chiaki starts off as someone you sort of overlook at first, not especially standing out (unless her design pops out to you) compared to the many other wacky characters in the cast. Chiaki eventually gains her position as female lead and ends up never doing anything wrong, rarely if any shows any visible flaws that couldn't be attributed to her status as a AI, and despite being executed as the culprit, due to Komaeda's bullshit luck is the least culpable of any culprit ever and fits more as a victim in a case than a culprit anyway. CHIAKI IS PERFECT! I still love her as a character but in terms of flaws and depth, Chiaki's not the person to go to. That's Kaede.

Starting off as perfect usually means one must be torn down, where their perfectly pristine outer shell is ripped apart to reveal the ugly pulsing innards inside. It's usually not to such an extreme extent, but one reason Kaede became so interesting was due to her mastermind murder plot. It wasn't the perfect plot by any means, and by the last trial you even find out it ultimately failed in every way, not only to kill the mastermind but to kill anyone at all, and yet Kaede died anyway. Though she dug the hole that got her killed, she was also the victim of misfortune as well. She made a stupid plan that didn't even work and it got her killed off anyway. That was her fatal flaw, her ultimate downfall, but for a character like Kaede so seemingly pure and good and nice to do something like that makes her so much more human than I would argue ANY of the female cast in SDR2. And that's saying something. Yet her greatest virtue paid off posthumously in Shuichi's development, being able to keep him going despite her death, and despite her sin. IT'S SO GREAT! 

Basically what I'm getting at is yes, while the female cast of V3 might appear to only exist for comedic relief or to pad the story out as less relevant characters than the guys, they still fill out their roles admirably with more depth than the casts of the previous games did. That's why I like them. They're more human, more relatable, and thus it is all the more soul-crushing when they die. I think it's a testament when my favourite characters go from characters like Ibuki and Chiaki from SDR2 to characters like Tenko and Himiko from V3. Ibuki and Chiaki are great characters, good in alignment, cheer you up and encourage you to go on further; Ibuki's so independent she doesn't form a strong bond with any single student, but manages to be fun personified in every single event. Chiaki ultimately leads the protagonist to choose the best option in the end for his future, and basically helps us win the game. All well and good, right? 

But alas, not many flaws or development are involved in their presence. Ibuki dies too early, but even if she didn't there weren't hints of a character arc starting like with Saionji. Chiaki lives for longer but she serves to fulfill the development of another character (Hajime) instead of her own, dying in an ultimate noble sacrifice. There's not a lot to go around individually with these two... They certainly are characters that cheered me up, and would be people I'd be friends with due to their pleasant and uplifting natures ...

Meanwhile we have the lazyass delusional Himiko and the obnoxious misandrist Tenko.

Both characters had detractors early on, Tenko moreso, but during the first half of the game several people grew tired of Himiko's repetitive lazy shtick and magic jokes. Defenders of both might even accuse the other of dragging their favourite down. I've heard Himiko fans tear down Tenko, who was breaching creepy stalker territory when it came to Himiko. I too was part of this crowd the first time I was exposed to the game. My first impressions of Tenko were not great to say the least, and more than once I had spoken out loud for Tenko to leave Himiko alone. There are too, Tenko fans who believed Himiko treated her horribly, often ignoring her or being rude to Tenko, and therefore declaring Himiko did not deserve Tenko in any way. Even if I was on the Himiko train early on, this perspective has a point too. Yes, I agree with both.

Because both characters were flawed, and it detracted from their relationship early on in the game. Had neither of them evolved, I never would have considered the two as a duo to be anything more than just a duo, maybe something similar to the Sonia and Kazuichi dynamic from SDR2. Characters who both didn't really change much over the course of the game nor were especially plot relevant, but Kazuichi's one-sided fling with Sonia was...amusing I guess? There wasn't really much to it beyond that. A joke.

Yet as we learned more of these characters, and as time went on within the game, things changed. Once the spotlight turned to Tenko and Himiko, their interactions switched from a comedic standpoint to a story standpoint. Conflict arose with Angie's cult, and Himiko's need to mentally wish the present situation away. Instead of going to Tenko for comfort like she might have wanted, obviously Himiko turned to the only source that was offering a reasonable solution to her problems: Angie. This of course leads Tenko to jealously, and her own delusions because it's not as if she were super best friends with Himiko at this point anyway, but sometimes even when two characters aren't moving in the right direction, a little shakeup may be the best way to right the path to friendship. I like the fact that despite Tenko's obvious desires, she takes the right steps at the right order to win Himiko over. Himiko needs a source of comfort, friendship, something to lift her mind from the horrors of the killing game; in short, Tenko thinks of what Himiko's needs and desires are before her own, no matter how vocal she often was of them.

Some people expressed disappointment with the direction of Tenko's character because when she was initially teased, a lot of people expected some sort of arc where she'd learn to like boys, and thus would have some bond with some particular boy, perhaps the protagonist and soon her misguided and discriminatory views would be whisked away. Or maybe they had expected some sort of tragic background that lead to Tenko's stubborn beliefs, but neither occurred, or at least were elaborated on as much as they could have been before her untimely end. There were small hints, like Tenko's single mention of her alcoholic father, or her moments with Shuichi, FTE or not, that slowly, gradually, turned her direction for the better when it came to her views on men. And yet, none of it lead to fruition due to her death. What could have been, really? We may never see how it could have played out, but I still think what we got was fascinating and maybe a little less predictable than most people hoped for following the trailers.

Like Chiaki, Tenko did ultimately serve the purpose of developing another character, but before she died and fulfilled this purpose, Tenko was also strongly her own character. I truly believe her biggest and most obvious flaw was meant for comedy most of all, considering at the times of strongest tension, Tenko's distaste of men was lowkey. Heck, the only scrum debate she had a role in had her on Shuichi's side, and her point of argument was to rely on Shuichi's words, a boy! Even if her loyalty was most pronounced with Himiko, when push came to shove, Tenko would show that side of her to anyone, and I mean anyone. Tenko reminds me of a shelter dog, an animal who is so ready to love, but her former master trained her incorrectly, or was well-meaning but inexperienced in the field of dog-ownership, causing unwanted habits to develop in the dog. Perhaps everything the dog did wrong with attributed with the colour red, like maybe the dog misbehaved and would always be put inside a red kennel and then left alone for hours on end, whereas the blue kennel was always used for travelling like going to the vet. Ignoring the fact that dogs probably can't see that well of a spectrum of colour, the dog might believe anything associated with red is bad, and would bite anything red. The red car, the red coke can, the red sofa, etc. I KNOW WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS ANALOGY I SWEAR. Because the master would leave for so long while she is in the red kennel, she now believes the colour is responsible for taking the people she loves away. 

Anyway that was longwinded, but Tenko is essentially that but with boys.  BOYS ARE BAD, says her master, in an effort to keep her focus on her martial art and not to be distracted by the usual teenage girl distraction that could lead her away from the discipline of her art. But Tenko takes it to the extreme because instead of explaining exactly why boys are bad, he instead tries to associate it with something else that would make Tenko unhappy, like weakening her skills in Neo-Aikido, and so Tenko starts to believe men are terrible in every sense of the word if they can do such a monstrously powerful thing. Tenko's master kind of sucks by the way, in sort of an amusing way, but he's not the greatest influence on Tenko in the least, ha. Anyway just the very fact that I can elaborate so much of Tenko's character without mentioning Himiko is evidence enough that Tenko can be a character on her own and doesn't rely on another to exist. Himiko was a big part of her screentime and lines yes, but Tenko was MORE than that, and that made her so much more interesting. Often my favourite ships and friendships I'm attached to one of the characters and the other one I find okay but their bond itself is so strong and intriguing that I like the other character by proxy too, but never for that character alone! Tenko and Himiko break that pattern.

And yes sadly Tenko dies before all that potential can be explored, but in a game like this where dying is just second nature, you can't really complain. The fact that she leads Himiko on her own development path leaves behind a legacy too! So many other deaths the character just ends where they die, and they don't affect any survivors or the plot down the road. Peko still had lasting memory and influence on Fuyuhiko. Rantaro still had relevance to the plot five chapters after his death. Mikan's demise was foreshadowing to the twist of the very end as well, meaning her sudden character change was not just a random reveal of insanity like say Korekiyo's was, and so had so much more substance within the story. Saionji dying without having changed and none of the characters she was associated with surviving beyond chapter three was an utter waste. A dead end if you will, and so is Ishimaru, all the things he learned from Mondo coming to a stark end with his death. Ryoma and Kirumi were standalone characters in their own chapter leaving little of a mark on the plot or the remaining characters, making chapter two arguably filler-y in a way. I could go on and on, but I'm glad Tenko wasn't a part of the latter group.

Though if Tenko remained alive she could have chipped little by little away all of Himiko's anxieties and flaws, her death sent Himiko into overdrive, to the point that her last words motivated Himiko to such a point that she rushed on forward without a plan or thought process whatsoever on what to do. Himiko was forcing herself in chapter four to not be who she had been her entire life, so it's no wonder her character was wonky in chapter four. I've heard a few people mention she was flanderized in chapter four and that utterly confused me. How do you flanderize a character by making them change drastically and that change only existing on one chapter? That doesn't make sense? Did that person know what the term flanderization even meant? Well I digress, Himiko was running all over the place and screaming her lungs out trying to change so quickly that of course it felt unnatural, but also heartwarming how much effort Himiko was putting into it. Not only from a sense of encouragement, but a sense of guilt and regret from not acknowledging Tenko sooner. Himiko, unlike Tenko, is not someone whose intents and feelings are obvious from the get-go. Anything but! I feel looking into her actions tell a stronger story of Himiko's feelings more than just reading her dialogue.

I think by the time chapter three started Himiko had warmed up to Tenko, but was too lazy or unmotivated to vocalize such a thing. We could tell she thought better of Tenko by merely hanging out with her, and not complaining that Tenko was hovering around her like she had been in earlier chapters. What Tenko did, defending her no matter what in the second trial when Himiko was a suspect really gave her this feeling of support that she was trying to find in Angie's religion. But of course even if Himiko was willing to be around Tenko around this point, it's not as if Tenko wasn't overbearing or perhaps exhausting Himiko with her presence either. After all with Tenko being the extrovert she was and Himiko an introvert it was bound to happen, so she will still seek Angie out for support too. I really strongly relate to Himiko in so many ways, more than any character I can think that I've liked in a while. Like Tenko there were hints of Himiko's background that were never explored. With Tenko it was the potential father issues, but with Himiko it was bullying. She always had a strong opinion against bullying, and was picked on by both Kokichi and Miu for her appearance, a common thing to be bullied for, and Kokichi and Miu both having bully-like personalities as well. Himiko's pretty easy to pick on too. She stands out in more ways than one, so it made sense. Still, this was not an aspect of Himiko that was explored beyond the first chapter. 

I mean, sometimes I feel like a quiet unassuming person who had always wanted a tight-knit group of friends and envied those who easily made them and was often surrounded by people, but still somehow chose to spend most of my time alone anyway, and was always afraid to speak up. Yet, I have this yearning of making others happy, seeing them smile, not only smile but smile because of me. At the same time, I sort of feel like an outcast, different from others, interests always being something else, not often having a topic to discuss with others that wasn't something specific the common person wouldn't be interested in. If I did bring it up, I'd be so excited to be talking about it it'd be the ONLY thing I'd ever talk about, and then I'd fear being disliked for being so eager in my singular topic and annoying the other party. That's why I just don't talk. The fear. I sometimes see Himiko like this, someone who has achieved that ability to make others smile, but also loses the boundary that keeps their interests at bay, often mentioning their singular interest at any time, no matter how appropriate it is. However this lack of barrier leaves her vulnerable, and she's easy pickins for teasing and insults, and ends up naive and gullible to more malicious people. This also leaves her emotionally vulnerable, so she seeks comfort in people, and probably has a horrible sense of judgment when it comes to people, but I guess since there's only fifteen other people that's not much to pick on anyway. Himiko is lucky both Angie and Tenko were the ones to gravitate to her first because though she needs support she's too lazy and introverted to ever initiate anyway. 

And I just relate to that on such a level... Himiko needed these people to open her up, to overcome those obstacles and flaws so she could face reality and become a better person. It's not as if Himiko becomes perfect after Tenko's death. She still carries with her those flaws. She's still gullible and naive, but now she has the motivation and the desire, and is trying to BE better. I wish I had someone like Tenko in my life, but someone like her doesn't exist. I can only equate her to a dog that gives you unconditional love no matter what, or someone literally in love with you they could sit next to you and listen to you gush about your passions for hours on end, and instead of it being a favour to you, it's something they genuinely love to do. This person doesn't exist. It's such a selfish desire for a person like this to exist, someone warped to your own whims. People are people. People are different. They can't be melded to what you, or in this case, I, want. That is why in real life, in reality the best functioning couples are of the utmost ultimate compromise. 

...anyway.. yes I've rambled on enough. I just can't get enough of V3's cast. I love them to bits. The ones I really love I especially love. The ones I don't are at least still interesting. Not a single character isn't interesting in this cast. They all served their purpose, whatever purpose they had. No one was wasted, and most certainly no one was useless.

TL;DR Ibuki is my best friend, Himiko is my child, and TENKO IS MY WIFE!!
spotto: (koi)
BEYOND THIS POINT LIES DANGANRONPA V3 SPOILERS

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED


So in my endless quest to consume all things DRV3, as that has been my entertainment for the past few weeks (and I just CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT) one opinion I've seen spouting about lately is say, which game's cast is the strongest or if the guys or the girls are better or otherwise some sort of ranking of the characters. Did I say sort? I'll throw my sort results on the side too just for funsies. And like, since I do sorts of pretty much anything.

BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE SORT.

You see, I've been seeing an opinion popping up here and there. I've been seeing it quite often. An opinion that is wrong. SUCH WRONGNESS is this opinion that my post shall be devoted entirely to debunking such a blatantly wrong opinion. You are free to have a similar opinion. Just know that is it wrong.

People have the audacity to claim that the DRV3 boys are infinitely superior to the girls. And not just that! For some strange, utmost inconceivable reason, they claim that of the three casts of the three games so far, the girls or DRV3 are the weakest of them all, and the boys are the strongest! WHAT MADNESS. WHAT LIES. I will readily admit that due to the protagonist being male in every cast, and the wildcard character ALSO being male of every cast that the guys do have a STRONG ADVANTAGE over the girls when it comes to influence on the plot, screentime, and even ships. I mean, if the protag is male that means whenever there are FTEs that can occasionally enter romantic territory (and you get everyone's underwear to boot) or even OUTRIGHT RIDDING THE PURITY OF THE CHARACTERS THEMSELVES that is the love hotel in DRV3, guy ships, otherwise known as yaoi, shall too will always be more prevalent. This is a fact I cannot erase nor dispute.

Regardless that does not necessarily mean the men will always be far more developed or are more interesting or intriguing or whatever else reason people have for preferring characters than the women! Far from it! You see DRV3 is the strongest cast so far, and to me a large reason has to do with the female characters. You can even look at the sort see how many girls from DRV3 comprise of my top ten or top twenty characters. I love them THAT much. In fact I think they're far improved over past female characters in the franchise, which I largely chalk up to the creator not being as good as writing them as the male cast. After all, we've had characters who were nigh-impossibly perfect like Nanami who while did have a few flaws were not flaws that ever negatively affected her character or plot. Or Kirigiri whose character is as a cold, calculating detective character. She kinda warms up to Naegi? But she ultimately stays a cold, calculated detective character. There's not a great amount of depth to them beyond what they are on the surface. I say this especially when Nanami is one of my absolute favourites because a character does not have to be super deep with ridiculous backstories and character development that drastically changes them from one thing to another. Hell, my favourite Ibuki is not the most developed nor the most enthralling character from a backstory standpoint. That's one of her biggest criticisms. I still love her nonetheless, as does many others but I can understand why anyone wouldn't care for her as well.

But DRV3 is a major improvement over all of that. And yes while I do like a lot of the guys from DRV3 too, I still think a shining example of DRV3 is its female cast. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, to illustrate my point I shall go through EACH CHARACTER in DRV3 by DEATH ORDER (thus the major, major, MAJOR spoilers) and elaborate on why I think this is so. 

Starting off with Rantaro Amami! A character who seems very popular with the ladies... but for what reason? I suppose he is intriguing. He has great mystery due to his unknown backstory and talent, and his sketchy mannerisms from the get-go. His sprites also mimic a lot of Komaeda's sprites who was no doubt the favourite from SDR2. Still when it comes to his influence on the plot and what we actually learn from his character he's minimal at best. He contributes to the mysteries as much as Twogami did from SDR2, which isn't much beyond some posthumous stuff that in the end, at least for Rantaro, was more relevant to the reveal near the end of the game than about Rantaro himself. A shame really, but not much you can expect from the first victim. I admit to judging people pretty harshly who have Amami as their favourite character. My first instinct is just that they like how he looks. He is eyecandy, but there are plenty of valid reasons to like him beyond that. I however do not hold back on anyone who abandons the game just because Rantaro died. I read a post of someone complaining about this once that was infuriating. The dude did very little, had very little chance to, and somehow your entire worth of the game is solely on this one character? Someone with that kind of reaction definitely only liked him for what he was on the surface and had no interest in the game or story itself. It's even less understandable than people who dump the game after...

..Kaede Akamatsu being a false protagonist.

I fucking love Kaede! I was so, so, SO pumped that finally, FINALLY we had a female protag for a main title in the series! Yay! That means for once, all the gay subtext between protag and any of the same-gendered characters in the game whether that be from FTEs or even just through plot progression was now potentially all with TWO GIRLS instead of TWO GUYS! Imagine if the wildcard character was a girl this time! I was pining it being on Maki considering the promotional material being pretty suggestive between Kaede and Maki. I WAS SO PREPARED TO ROMANCE GIRLS WITH MY GIRL PROTAGONIST OH MY GOD. Then the game began and Kaede's wonderful personality was addictive as crack! She was the leader! She was optimistic! EVERYONE WILL BE FRIENDS AND WE WILL ALL ESCAPE TOGETHER! Shuichi, you must be more confident in yourself! Peppy Kaede! CHEERY KAEDE! YAAAAHHHHH!!

And then she turned out to be the first culprit. Fun times. Or not. The trial and subsequent execution of Kaede killed me. It killed me more than Nanami's two executions. It killed me more than when I discovered Ibuki's hanging corpse. I was absolutely gutted. Kaede is dead. Kaede is the murderer. JUST WHY!?!?

While there was a great loss of potential with the loss of the main protagonist in the end this move was absolutely ingenious when it came from a writing standpoint. I mean people do make a good point that if Shuichi was the initial protagonist but was swapped out for Kaede that would have been an even better twist, but alas we all can't have the most ideal things. Plus due to the personalities of the two characters it just had to be that Kaede would die and Shuichi not. If their personalities were different or heck, swapped, you could argue against this, but I don't know. Kaede's personality of being the go-getter, of being the one to encourage and to raise morale instead of starting off as a timid insecure boy like Shuichi gives her little room of development. I mean again, she doesn't NEED to develop but I was hoping for more character development for girls this time around as there appears to be so little so far in the franchise, at least in the main titles. The only thing I could think of for Kaede was that the contrast of her bubbly, idealistic personality compared to the grim and bloody reality that is the killing game would slowly knock her confidence and optimism down along the way, and maybe some other character like Kaito or whatever needs to pick her spirits back up whenever that happens, but unless the theme or the message of the game is that being naive and optimistic is bad and we have to pick our battles or face reality with certain expectations was what they were going for it's not really a good line of thought to carry. Despite the nature of Danganronpa, the message has always been to face death or grief with a head held high and to never give up, no matter what. Kaito's mere existence is example of that.

But what Kaede DOES subvert is the perfect female protagonist, or deuteragonist. While she succeeds at encouraging and opening up Shuichi, it doesn't mean that's her only purpose and that's all there is to her. She manipulated Shuichi's camera plan to catch the mastermind and turned it into a premeditated death trap... and it wasn't a guaranteed chance whoever they caught would be the mastermind. It could have been anyone milling about in the library and discovering that hidden door. Kaede's plan was reckless, maybe even stupid. She paid for it. And that's wonderful. Because that means Kaede isn't flawless. What she ended up doing wasn't all for naught either, however! Due to Monokuma's motive, where if nobody murders anyone within a set time limit then everyone will die, Kaede's recklessness also saved everybody else's life. Nobody else in this cast made a move to murder when everyone was about to die in like thirty minutes despite the fact that, as we continue on in this game the characters in this cast are much more varied on the morality scale than past casts. She didn't die for nothing.

I think the huge amount of unrest and controversy the protag switch caused would have more merit if Kaede was the victim instead, who would die with us learning little about her character. As is, we know a whole bunch about Kaede with what time we had with her, and we still got to play half the trial with her as well! It's not the female protagonist we wanted, but there certainly were worse ways of going about it. Because of all this, I love Kaede as a character and she deserves the placement in my top ten characters. I really like my flawed characters, and up to this point there weren't many of those as girls in the franchise especially one of Kaede's role.

Next we have chapter two, starting with the saddest most depressing victim in the Danganronpa franchise yet, Ryoma Hoshi, our resident nonstandard character design character who thank the heavens wasn't a pervert. We already got two of those, so it's good they went away with that trope. He's an inmate condemned for death for murdering a bunch of mafia members with his sick tennis moves after they killed his girlfriend and family (or something like that, my memory is not up to par) and thus has a pretty bleak outlook to life and little reason to continue living. Escaping isn't even that desirable of an option to him as he'd just go straight back to prison anyway. His backstory is sad. His existence is sad. ):  I thought he'd be a potential survivor as developing a reason to live would be an excellent character arc for him, but then when he was given some confidence by Shuichi and co. and tried to find a reason to live in the motive videos... he found nothing. No one outside cared about him and he had no one to care for. Of course he was just a sitting duck just asking to be the next victim, and so it went and so it shall be. He thought he had nowhere to go, but really for a character he had a ways to go. Unfortunate he gave up when he did.

I love Ryoma! But sadly being the second victim outside of his unfortunate circumstances he would not have as much time nor influence to the story as he could have. I chalk it up to bad luck and Monokuma being a bitch, but let's move on. His killer on the other hand...

When Kirumi first showed up, I had two initial impressions: Sakuya Izayoi from Touhou and Peko Pekoyama from SDR2. I do like both those characters, but I also didn't at the same time. I generally don't like characters whose entire existence relies on another character to describe. Like for Peko, if Fuyuhiko wasn't there, what would she be? She'd have to be an entirely different character because Fuyuhiko IS Peko's entire character, as her backstory relies entirely on him and his family. I hate that. I hate it in Touhou and I hate in Danganronpa. The second trial of SDR2 was extremely sad and I was very empathetic when it came to Peko's demise, but when it came time to think about how much I cared about her character... it wasn't as strong as it could have been. Maybe if I had shipped Fuyuhiko/Peko it'd have been different, but I don't like ships where one character is entirely devoted to another. I don't like characters who are dependent and can't stand on their own if the other wasn't there or did not exist. 

Sakuya on the other hand was this maid in Touhou who could do no wrong. She was the definition of cool and could stop time and throw knives like a certain Jojo character. She would never break her cold and calculated surface, if there even is anything beneath that surface. I was always frustrated by Sakuya and her popularity because there never seemed to be anything more to her. She was there to be cool. There were no flaws. She was literally called the perfect and elegant maid. That kind of character is just so boring and uninteresting to me. Also memes do not count as flaws. >:

So seeing Kirumi these were the kind of fears I had with her character. And she was basically sort of just that for almost all of chapter two... until it was revealed she was the culprit. She killed Ryoma. Her perfect and elegant shield was starting to collapse, and Kirumi's calm exterior broke until she was doing all she could to deflect blame or to keep herself alive. All of this just because she was one of the unfortunate few (or may even only) to get her own motive video. Bad luck screwed her over. Kirumi became interesting when she died because she did not go out how so many others do, accepting of their deaths admirably with courage. She didn't even go out like the first two initial culprits in the first two games did because she still did everything in her power to escape no matter what (even if that attempt to escape was part of her execution). Like the dialogue of the game said, it was ugly, it was feral, it was raw, but Kirumi did everything in her power to live. Her death was powerful as fuck and basically threw everything out the door that she was perfect or elegant. It was amazing. Props to both her Japanese AND her English VAs for having VERY convincing screams of determination and fury just before she was executed. It was a powerful and memorable moment. Even when I was laughing at how over-the-top her motive video was, it wasn't close to the impact of how Kirumi went out. Fuck yes I love my flawed female characters. 

It is chilling she chose to drown Ryoma though. That does add to her cold and calculated factor. Ah well. 

NOW IT IS THE CHAPTER THREE! Or chapter always known as weakest chapter of every game. I do not know what is up with these chapter threes and their super obvious culprits, but at least this time around that was done on purpose? Anyway I am jumping the gun with the culprit because first we must discuss the holiest of the holiest, the most divine and devoted that is the ANGIE YONAGA, EVERYBODY'S FAVOURITE CHARACTER AND A MAJOR ENSEMBLE DARKHORSE OF THE SERIES!!1!!!

Well, yeah okay. 

I don't hate any character in DRV3. I love them all actually, but Angie is a character who seems to be a little bit of a hate sink. Not to the intensity that is say, Saionji or Ruruka but still, when most people discover Angie's body it's often not a huge fanfare. In fact, Angie dying was pretty obvious and something most people saw telegraphed the moment she took up the antagonistic role of CULT LEADER who splits up the cast causing conflict within! It's actually kind of difficult to comment on Angie's character. She doesn't change all that much, so there's little to no development, and what we learn from FTEs and.... Love Hotel scenes just elaborate on how bizarre her island's customs and her devotion to Atua is. She seems to have to shown up in this killing game already brainwashed, and we never really learn who she is beneath it all. I mean, there is something to suggest Angie is lonely beneath absolutely everything, but she's buried in so much of the cult, religious, devoted stuff that it's so difficult to unearth that aspect of Angie and so, we can't really say with much certainty how much we really got to know her before she died. A shame, really. She did serve her purpose as antagonist of chapter three quite well. I will give her that. All the more emotionally weaker characters fell for her cult to, STARTING with Himiko from way back in chapter two... I will continue that thought when we reach HImiko.

Speaking of Himiko though, there is Tenko. The Tenks. The Tenko of the last name that is too long for my taste. Chabashira? Oh yes. 

I did not like Tenko first time I went through this game. I WILL BE HONEST. I DID NOT LIKE TENKO. FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS. Hahaha. But a large degree of my distaste for Tenko was due to my one-track-mind after Kaede died. You see the despair of Kaede dying was so great, that my focus fell very narrowly onto Himiko, the other character I liked best still left who I was absolutely convinced was going to die anyway because after Kaede's unexpected demise I had no favourite that ever lived and the protagonist dying was the last straw. I paid very little attention to anything else, which was why even the obvious culprit of chapter three came as as surprise to me. I was too busy wondering if Himiko was the next victim, or how she could have murdered the victims. That was my mindset throughout the ENTIRE GAME after Kaede died. That is what despair does, my friends.

Anyway the reason I liked Himiko so much aside from being eccentric and adorable was how relatable she was. In fact, I don't think I've found a character I've related MORE to than Himiko! So just like Himiko, I too had a negative impression of Tenko. I even compared her to Jaune of all characters at one point due to her forwardness. I was like "GODDAMNIT TENKO LEAVE HIMIKO ALONE" EVEN IF YOU'RE A GIRL YOU ARE NOT EXEMPT TO THIS KIND OF CRITICISM, that being far too forward with your crush and not taking no for an answer. (Of course I didn't realize Himiko actually never said no to Tenko hanging out with her once, either because she was too lazy to or some other reason. She certainly said no to some of Tenko's comments and questions to her at times, but never did she actively try to avoid Tenko... more like asking others to do it for her. Ha)

But just like Himiko... over time I realized how wonderful Tenko really was. I think her other major flaw, the degenerate male thing also makes Tenko easily unlikable for many as well. Her FTEs don't even reveal some tragic reasoning for this misandry. She's just a gullible idiot who listens to literally anything her master, a male mind you, says. It is hilarious though. There is that one line in that one trial where she mentions her alcoholic father, so maybe there's some tragic inkling there that we'll never explore because now Tenko is too dead to develop. Alas. Alas. Still! Underneath her many flaws, Tenko is one of the most sincere, earnest, honest, heartwarming characters out there. Unlike Jaune's crush on Weiss that was entirely to his selfish whims. Tenko actually goes about and tries to... IMPROVE HIMIKO AS A PERSON. She never put Himiko on some perfect flawless pedestal who could do no wrong. Tenko knew Himiko wasn't perfect, knew she was falling for Angie's cult and taking the easy way out and she wanted to keep Himiko out of it. She truly wanted to protect Himiko, learn more about Himiko, and her crush was more genuine than mere infatuation on Himiko's surface appearance or personality. Tenko's eagerness to help girls IS REAL AND IS GREAT! Even if her hatred of men is sort of silly and stupid, her desire to protect vulnerable girls is the greatest virtue of Tenko! Despite the disappointing reveal of Tenko's misandrist origins, a lot of her FTEs made me want to learn more about her. How she was even MORE of a spazz and emotive freak, maybe getting wildly angry or having manic attacks even before she began learning Aikido. That Aikido helped her become more stable of a person and how she always recommends it to others for self-improvement as well. Also she does slowly warm up to Shuichi so anything depicting Tenko still being an ass to Shuichi of all people annoys me greatly. She may not have had time to develop completely, but she definitely was changed compared to the Tenko of the beginning of the game!

Also she will never live it down how she died. How she was killed. Fucking Kork. Fucking Korey in the House. Fucking folklore cunt. Fucking tulpaman-- KOREKIYO SHINGUCCI, I MEAN SHINGUJI HAS TOO MANY NICKNAMES. 

Actually I don't hate Korekiyo. Far from it, ha. His motive though. His motive is so over-the-top I can't even take it seriously. Others do and despise his fucking guts, and while there may be actual people like Korekiyo out there, I just cannot get over how absolutely absurd his reason to kill was. For his dead sister who now possesses him in the form of a split personality after a seance that he has incestuous desires towards? And he's almost killed one hundred friends, females he deems worthy to be friends of his sister's in the afterlife already? The fuck man. That reveal was wild. He's also purposely depicted as creepy as possible with an unhealthy fascination of humanity which is justified by his anthropology background and is an absolute joke character in the anthologies. He's great. He's my second favourite male of DRV3 and I don't even know why. This man should be considered vile and unforgivable. 

BUT HE THREW AWAY HIS PERFECT MURDER FOR THE SEE-SAW TRICK, and will never live it down. The see-saw is too precious to abandon. RIP TENKO. RIP KOREKIYO. 

How have I not mentioned the gorgeous girl genius with a golden brain, MIU IRUMA yet!? Quite possibly the most flawed female character in the entire series, unless just being straight up a despair bitch is considered one entire flaw, Miu still manages to be fascinating and wonderful and I STILL like her despite the claim the creator purposely wrote her to be unlikable! She singlehandedly demonetizes Youtube playthroughs with no remorse whatsoever and ruins every single moment possible with her endless uncensored innuendos, but simultaneously along with her comedic side is one of the most useful characters in the game as well. Perhaps not so in the trials (she is wrong during every scrum debate hahaha) but her expertise with the tech allows her to invent so many items that serve so many purposes throughout the plot. I think Himiko (I think it was her anyway) said it best, Miu was very smart but also very dumb. Aside from that Miu seems to have a similar sort of complex Mikan does where most of her self-worth is shot and she has a belief she can really only be useful to someone with her body... if her FTEs or Love Hotel mean anything, anyway. Also Miu is a victim, but she DID attempt to murder someone and showed surprising hindsight when it came to executing her murder plan, but just like that quote she overlooked quite a many things that led to her downfall as well. That slip of hand leading to the bridge being washed away by the river was not the most subtle of things, Miu. She was also my favourite from first impressions. When I first saw the cast and looked at screenshots and such, Miu was the girl that stood out most to me. I didn't have a strong impression of this cast at first as well. I was very whelmed when I looked at the designs. Heck Tenko was my least favourite design. I was wondering why she had over nine thousand hair accessories that made her head super busy looking. The green pinwheel was the worst offender. 

How foolish you were, past Spotto of one year ago.

Anyway! SWEET PURE, PITIFUL GONTA.

I guess he does subvert the beefcake sacrifice of chapter four by being the beefcake culprit of chapter four. I mean he was trying to sacrifice everyone if that counts, starting with Miu, and Kokichi was quite the influence on top of the flashback light... still, he joins the ranks of Sakura and Nidai in dying in chapter four. Sad as it may be... and that's really all I have to say on Gonta. Aside from being a pure boy who wishes to be a gentleman there wasn't a lot compelling with Gonta. I AM SORRY FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO SAY MORE. Gonta was a pure boy who made the trial all the more tragic.

Kokichi Ouma cannot carry all the guys by himself, you know. The only way I can take a claim of a the guys being so much better than the girls seriously is if this guy carries all the weight. And he doesn't! I may like Kork. Gonta may have been a pure boy. Ryoma may have had a tragic existence, and Rantaro was eyecandy, but they were NOTHING compared to Kokichi. AND EVEN THEN, Kokichi cannot carry the entire male cast on his shoulders. OKAY!? Also his rampant popularity has rubbed me off the wrong way, even if I do love his character he is far too overexposed for me. His face is like on 80% of all things DRV3, whether it be fanfic, art, or stupid videos. He is everywhere. Kokichi does not need to be every amusing role that exists on the internet, guys. Seriously. Also Kokichi you are not being unique with your fascination over the male protagonist. Komaeda already got you beat several years ago. He got you beat on the whole KILL MYSELF DURING CHAPTER FIVE AND MINDFUCK THE REST OF THE CAST plan too, so don't you think you're special or anything, KOKICHI!!

Kokichi is still better than Komaeda.

Oh right. Anyway Kokichi is the wildcard character who is basically the embodiment of lies and carries lots of homoerotic subtext. Yay! He's also very short and has the wonderful voice-acting talent of Derek Stephen Prince, who blew his Fuyuhiko out of the water with his delivery of all of Kokichi's wonderful lines. I choose to believe his final words are the truth though, that he lied to himself this entire time, took the role of the villain on purpose for this insane gambit that ended his life all to stop the killing game because ultimately, Kokichi hates killing. He likes pulling pranks and fooling with people, but murder is not a straw he will cross...even if he instigated Miu and Gonta's death, but whatever. His motive video says that much anyway.

Kaito is a poor man's Kamina. Moving on.

Tsumugi is a fascinating masterm--FINE I'LL TALK ABOUT KAITO.

I think the Kamina archetype works best when they die early and heavily affect the main character from the get-go... alas, Kaede who is technically the Nia of this game, took that role. So instead Kaito is around to serve as Maki's motivation, which is fine and all. Really, it's fine. I think. Maybe. Yes he does help out Shuichi too, and his positive influence is great and all, but Kaito is really SHOUNEN PROTAGONIST THE CHARACTER, and I've never really been fond of that kind of character...especially in a genre like Danganronpa where logic and intelligence is the most powerful ally of the main character, to decipher the clues and work out how and who dun diddly decked the dead. Also there's this moment in chapter four people point out a lot, where he's willing to die to believe in Gonta, which is all motivational and heartwarming and all, but it's not like Kaito would be the only one to die if they didn't vote for Gonta... EVERYBODY would, so he was being rather selfish at the time, throwing his beliefs over the welfare of the people (KIND OF LIKE ANGIE, lol) and then he gets super annoyed and pissed with Shuichi for siding with logic and reasoning and all... (I am well aware Tenko said something similar about Himiko in chapter two's trial. The difference here is that I think Tenko is speaking more from her undying love for Himiko whereas Kaito is basing more of his stance on his unyielding belief as opposed to being in love with Gonta or something... also Tenko was defending Himiko at the beginning of the trial when not all evidence was presented whereas Kaito defended Gonta to the very end against all the facts. I'm not sure how Tenko would react if Himiko were a culprit, probably similarly, but I think it all comes down to where their intent lies.. Maybe Kaito's stubbornness would be more understanding if he and Gonta were close friends or something? But Kaito and Gonta didn't have many interactions, and Kaito is just basing it on Gonta being pure and such, not even allowing people to even discuss the mere possibility that Gonta could be the culprit, which we did get to do without great interference from Tenko on Himiko in trial two. I DUNNO MAYBE I JUST WANNA JUSTIFY MY SEEMING HYPOCRISY HERE) yeah he's flawed and I do like flawed characters, but maybe the game doesn't point out these flaws often enough or make it apparent enough. We get a lot of praise for Kaito especially when characters like Maki and Shuichi with all the screentime in the world are so positively influenced by him, but what of his flaws? Why not point them out? Aside from people calling him an idiot which is a trope Japanese media does a lot where idiot is more like a term to describe a... shounen protagonist who throws all reasoning aside to believe in themselves and do their best, there isn't a lot of time where the narrative paints Kaito in a negative light.

Well, I don't have any strong feelings either way, that's just the opinions I've heard. My impression of Kaito is that he's just the run-of-the-mill motivational dude who somehow is the entire reason Maki becomes a better person... okay. LET US MOVE ON.

So! Tsumugi Shirogane is a fascinating mastermind. She doesn't do anything else in this game unfortunately, and her character is almost non-existent since it's almost entirely tied to the big reveal at the end of the game so uhm... okay? You can have this one, fans of guy characters who loudly proclaim they are better than the girls! She's also probably lying a lot during the reveal so we cannot possibly determine what is true and what isn't and what exactly the ending even entails. The ending itself is pretty polarizing and I don't have too much to say on it. I wanna keep this discussion on the characters even if MAYBE that Tsumugi claims about writing their lines and characters is true. Maybe. Perhaps. Possibly. THE CAN OF WORMS SHALL BE CLOSED, OKAY?

Also she was the true murderer of Rantaro and executed Kaede for no real reason, if only to continue the killing game. WELP. This doesn't change how I feel about either characters though. Rantaro still died first (even if it's for a plot-relevant reason) and Kaede though technically wasn't the killer, it's the intent that matters. In some regions, attempted murder is charged as seriously as murder, y'know.

Kiibo or Keebo or Keeboy or K1B0 or Hope or Robonaegi or whatever is a character there to spout PC jokes and be the buttmonkey until he shoots up a school in chapter six. I wish what I said was exaggeration. He's still great though, but little development who doesn't do much until the end, and even though I feel sad about his sacrifice he wasn't especially compelling either way, even if he was the audience surrogate, or the camera, or that we played as him, or that he's the literal Ultimate Hope Robot or any of that. His strongest interactions were with Miu but her death didn't change him as a person, and his complex of being treated as a real human doesn't get anywhere sadly. I wish the cast wasn't all almost entirely robophobic outside of like Shuichi and maybe a few others like Miu. Kokichi may have been the most blatant bully about it, but characters like say TENKO AND HIMIKO also had little good things to say about Keebo. GODDAMNIT YOU GUYS YOU'RE MY FAVOURITES. ESPECIALLY YOU HIMIKO, STOP CALLING KEEBO AN APPLIANCE OR THAT HE SHOULD BLOW HIMSELF UP TO BE USEFUL, GAAAAH. They're very flawed, you see. I have yet to see a post-game fanfic that acknowledges Keebo's sacrifice ever bring up anything like Himiko being remorseful for how she spoke of Keebo. Are we choosing to ignore this?

But I digress, it's SURVIVOR TIME. Because I am biased Himiko will be last, and we'll start with Maki 

Man I wish Maki had more interactions with characters beyond like Kaito...and Shuichi, but Shuichi is a given considering he is the protagonist and everybody interacts with him. Even Himiko got Angie as a friend too along with Tenko, Shuichi as well, being the given, and spent some time with Gonta even. But Maki's entire character is all thanks to Kaito. I think being the Ultimate Assassin trying to hide her talent and stubbornly guarding her lab door for as long as she did was good, but Kaito dragging her out to training and her giving in rather easily flies against all that stuff we established. She gave in TOO easily. From everything we know about her, I thought she'd be far more resistant against people trying to open her up. Yet it didn't take Kaito very long to drag her along with the training, and it didn't take Maki very long to grow attached to him. Again I hate to compare her to Himiko, but Himiko took EONS to get attached to Tenko, and only truly appreciated her after she died! Himiko doesn't get the sad tragic backstory that justifies being cold, detached, and antisocial, but Maki DOES. SO WHAT GIVES!?

I'll give her props for not being as flawless as Kirigiri and Nanami were, but eh... Maki isn't especially unique nor was she all that compelling. She was about as interesting as Kaito. IF ONLY SHE WAS THE WILDCARD CHARACTER WITH THE FASCINATION OVER OUR FEMALE PROTAGONIST, KAEDE. If only!

Speaking of protagonists, Shuichi! Yay Shuichi. My favourite Shuichi sprite is his happy sprite. Well he has more than one, but just the one where his eyes are open and his smile his wide. Well, his smile with his eyes closed is cute too. Happy Shuichi is adorable because his design screams a sad, negative, pessimistic, gloomy character, so seeing someone who looks like that so happy... is nice. I like it. I also like how his entire character arc led to him being so much more confident, that when it came time to go against the final evil dilemma the villain always throws on us his response to to kill ourselves. So intuitive, Shuichi. I know it's the proper response to end the killing games and to sacrifice ourselves so no one ever has to suffer what this cast has to again, but just that line of reasoning and how it turned out is kind of hilarious in hindsight. You have Kaede and Kaito being like YOU HAVE FRIENDS! YOU HAVE TO LIVE FOR THOSE THAT HAVE DIED! BELIEVE IN THE ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU, and at the very end, at the climax, Shuichi is like, WE HAVE TO KILL OURSELVES!11! He would not have come to this conclusion not only if it weren't for his character development, but also if it weren't Shuichi's personality itself. Kaede I do not think would resort to convincing everyone to kill themselves to end the killing game. I don't see her ever resorting to that kind of tactic. I can see Shuichi doing it, though. Also if Love Hotel events are canon, Shuichi has more game than every other protagonist, and is the defacto bisexual protag of the bunch. And you thought Hinata had homerotic subtext! Ha! I do admit he seemed a little more dynamic when he wasn't the protag though, like how he DEDUCED the dust in the card reader on that hidden door in chapter one, and came up with this proactive plan with the cameras that he never did so ever again. I guess Kaede was there to encourage him and help him out, but after this chapter Shuichi just reacts to things as opposed to causing things because protagonists aren't allowed to move the plot, only react to it.

He does display many aspects of being very intelligent, and understanding things before even the audience does (he goes "wait, this isn't right..." and then doesn't reveal it to the player until the trial, but he figures it out himself loooong before the trial, making his ultimate talent very much earned indeed) so yeah. I found Shuichi one of the more interesting protagonists of the bunch... but still, I will always wonder what could have been with the lost potential that is Kaede... what could it have been? I'm sure Shuichi thinks so too.

HIMIKO YUMENO SURVIVED THE KILLING GAME. WHAT THE FLYING FUCK. 

I am still over the hill about this. This will never not shock me, no matter how much time passes. Never in a million years could I have possibly expected her survival. HOW does she survive? She is a smol weak girl just screaming to be a victim, with a fascinating talent that could have led to one of the more entertaining executions, and instead she fucking lives. People tried to frame her more than once instead of kill her! "Let's see, this is a small child who is somehow a teenager, who has no energy for anything and is a bit slow and is thus very vulnerable. I KNOW! I'LL FRAME HER OF MURDER WITH MY OVERLY CONVOLUTED MURDER PLAN!11!!"  She outright admits murder is too much effort and this is how people react to her. I swear! But one of the biggest reasons she did live was because of Tenko's sacrifice. The moment Himiko really could have died was to the ridiculous seesaw gambit Kork came up with, but Tenko took her place, not only giving her life, but taking Himiko's place as the victim of the endless meme. Godspeed Tenko. Godspeed.

Himiko of course then became the defacto... "useless" survivor. I do not like that term; that's just the one thrown around the most. I think the best way to describe it is the least relevant survivor. Someone like Hagakure from the first game or Akane from the second. I think she gets even more heat as the least relevant survivor because there were only three, so she took up the only feasible spot any other character could have taken that someone may have liked better if we assume Maki and Shuichi HAD to live. BUT NAY! YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS ULTRA RARE OPPORTUNITY FROM ME, KNAVES! YOU WILL TAKE THIS FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS I TELL YOU! Because no matter how unbelievable it may be, I FINALLY have a favourite character who LIVED, and against ALL ODDS it was in the game with the least amount of survivors, taking the SINGLE spot any other character could have taken, and as useless and irrelevant you want to claim her to be, SHE DEVELOPED AS A CHARACTER, and became stronger due to the plot, and thus has earned her right to live on and be a survivor! SO FUCK YOU ALL! FUCK ALL OF YOU!! HA! HAHAHAHA! I HAVE SOMETHING ALIVE! AND YOU CAN'T TAKE IT FROM ME! IT IS CANON! HA! NOW YOU HAVE TO RESORT TO AU STORIES WITH ALTERNATE SURVIVORS OR IT'S ALL A SIMULATION! YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS CANON FROM ME, BASTARDS!

Okay. So Himiko.

Ah yes, the character I super relate to. She started off being a chunnibyou who claims magic is real and she is a master mage at that, despite her official talent being a magician instead, the stage kind with the tricks. She's also lazy as shit, so how she is the master of something that requires so much work is a mystery. She is an introvert who cannot be bothered to initiate any conversation, and if you do want to be her friend you have to always go to her first. Even if she doesn't like you she won't push you away because she is too lazy. She literally tells Shuichi she was too lazy to say no to him. This is how Tenko gets close to her. I also think she's pretty emotionally vulnerable and that's also why she never gets close to people because one can easily be hurt. The killing game affects her mentally quite a bit, and the only reason she keeps herself calm and collected is by resorting to Angie and becoming her friend, thus converting to the ways of Atua and escaping reality to deal with it all. Oh and she doesn't have energy in the first place to do much, which may explain her laziness, always excusing doing things with her lack of MP. She has trouble emoting and sleeps a lot. There are some headcanons out there that Himiko might be autistic and clinically depressed. I sort of agree with both, but unless they're outright confirmed it's only a mere headcanon, and we can't really intertwine such thoughts with her character completely. I will say Himiko seems far more okay with dying than most characters, with only Ryoma beating her for that...lovely title. It's less being suicidal and more giving up far more easily when it comes to Himiko. Again, I think she's very emotionally vulnerable which leads to that kind of mindset. She's also one of the more gullible characters what with falling for the cult and being pretty easily tricked or spooked in trials. Himiko is also terrible at not being suspicious. She either doesn't bother defending herself or flails around in a panic when suspected. It's great and entertaining. She also can't tell the difference between termites and rice. It is as Shuichi said, even if she didn't survive the killing game, how did she even survive life itself? Egads.

LUCKILY TENKO IS HERE, the ultra-supportive aikido master who to my utter disbelief, immediately sees Himiko and SOMEHOW this girl is the GIRL OF HER DREAMS. I don't understand Tenko's tastes whatosever. But whatever, she chose wisely. I mean yes, I like Himiko too, but because I relate to her and she's cute and such, also entertaining. Unlike Tenko though, when I first saw the cast Himiko was amongst the others as characters I was whelmed by. No real response. Tenko sees this witchy smol girl and immediately falls in love at first sight. UHM, OKAY? But really, how I describe this is like a dog who adopts you. They follow you home and love you forever. This is like a dog that adopts a cat, Himiko, who is very much cat-like being lazy, sleeping a lot, rather independent because she'd prefer to be alone and such, also black cats are associated with witches, so y'know. That's why Himiko does not like Tenko from the get-go... and also because Tenko is making some lewd comments and being somewhat inappropriate at times. Chapters one and two aren't particularly positive depictions of either characters. They are BOTH flawed, but one likes the other, and little do we know this infatuation will cause both characters to become so much better as people over time. Unfortunately Tenko's was cut short, but still. 

See, due to the trauma of the killing game, Himiko needs comfort, but she isn't one to reach out. However, Angie is very open and wants more converts to her religion, for those to see the truth and believe in the almighty Atua. Angie's Atua and thus friendship is the comfort Himiko needs to emotionally survive people killing and dying all around her. It may not have been a healthy friendship, but it was a friendship, and I believe Angie despite what her intentions led to, had good intentions. She truly wanted to save Himiko and she truly wanted to be friends with her, and give her the comfort she needs. Angie just wants to do it her way, the only way she knows how. She does come up with the idea of the magical show meant to give smiles to the rest of students, so that's something that would have been very positive for Himiko if someone didn't throw Ryoma's body into the damn piranha tank. >_> 

But unfortunately, relying on Angie long-term would not be healthy. It would be throwing away all your own decision-making and independence for the sake of Atua, and Tenko saw this. Himiko of course did not go to Tenko for comfort when the killing game was going on because Tenko did not offer friendship to Himiko, but rather her unwanted advances for some sort of romantic or sexual relationship with Himiko, which was the last thing she needed, or at least that is what Himiko was seeing from Tenko. Still, Tenko kept up her unwavering support which eventually went beyond lust or the need to protect Himiko as a vulnerable young lady, but Tenko revealed her true motives and wanted Himiko to have her own agency, and become a better person as well, to express her emotions and be herself, not cooped up locking herself away and relying on Atua for guidance for the rest of her life. Especially if Atua truly isn't some almighty god responsible for bringing salvation to people, and is just a big fat lie. (This is all interpretation of course, but Angie dying doesn't help)

When Angie died, Himiko lost this place of comfort, this friendship, and desperately wanted to connect with Angie one more time. When Tenko gives Himiko this advice, to live life facing forward, to survive, since Himiko was making comments of not wanting to go on after her only pillar of support that she assumed she had was gone, Himiko finally realized Tenko was the kind of support she did need, one that did not need to manipulate your thoughts into false ideas. She not only protected her, but Tenko was pushing Himiko in the right direction. For her to stand up for herself, to be her own biggest supporter and stop relying on outside things, to stop escaping from reality and gain the strength needed to face grim reality itself! Himiko was finally beginning to realize this, and how much Tenko was a positive influence on her.

But then Tenko died. 

Just when Himiko believed she had a healthy pillar of support, it was ripped away from her. All the advice she was about to take meant nothing. It was only after the revelations of what a sick bastard Kork was, and after being accused once again, this time of murdering her own friends does she finally take Tenko's advice. For whatever reason people only credit Kokichi for Himiko unleashing her emotions, but even before his harsh words Shuichi was the one who reminded Himiko during the trial of what Tenko said. Tenko may be gone, but Shuichi, Kaito and even people like Kokichi are trying to push her forward, and so Himiko's character development began. She was to be optimistic, to live life as it should, to no longer be the lazy girl she once was. Even Gonta was there albeit for a brief single chapter to keep her spirits up. She had friends! If it weren't for Tenko's words and inadvertent sacrifice, she would never have realized this.

But even after vowing to take that advice Himiko stumbles out of the gate and has a difficult time trying to figure out what this "living life facing forward" meant. She still seems to be low-energy, so her attempts to be bombastic and optimistic drain the MP out of her, but at least this time Himiko is trying. Beyond chapter four Himiko takes up the mantle of comic relief after Miu and Gonta dies and Kokichi is out of commission until "Kokichi" shows up at the fifth trial. When we get to chapter six Himiko is the only character left beyond Keebo (who is too busy progressing the plot at this point) who provides any sort of comedic relief. I guess Tsumugi has her references but meh, never liked referential humour. Plus by the time Tsumugi reveals herself as the mastermind Himiko is the only one there to lighten the mood at all, which is A TALL ORDER to fill when this girl was fine with dying a few chapters ago! (She's fine with dying twice more after that, and the end of the game they literally are like "WE SHALL KILL OURSELVES, so I mean...")

But ultimately, the will of the outside world or Keebo himself, idk this ending man, spares Himiko's life along with the others, and she survives... and regardless of what parts of the killing game and her life were lies, can still continue Tenko's words and live life facing forward, whatever the future yields....nyeh.

FUCK YEAH, HIMIKO.

Now as for OTP, while yes Tenko has super ultra canon gay feelings for Himiko, I cannot say with any certainty if Himiko reciprocates romantically. I WANT to say yes of course, and there is the anecdotal evidence that could back this up, but there's also not enough to be conclusive either way.  Someone claimed in the Japanese translation Himiko uses the word ai, or romantic love in Japanese to refer to Tenko in the final trial but I went  back to the moment and she never says ai at all? The fact that the translation is just word for word the localization which never mentions love doesn't help, but maybe she brings it up sometime else. Tenko is regarded as just as important to Himiko as Kaede and Kaito were to Shuichi and Maki, so I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE, just like Shuichi chooses to believe Tsumugi's words were a lie off a mere hunch, THAT HIMIKO DOES LOVE HER BACK. I MAY NOT HAVE THE HARD EVIDENCE, BUT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE!!

But yes, Danganronpa gave me an OTP. That hasn't happened. I always thought these characters were too flawed and messed up, especially the SDR2 characters to be shipped believably, at  least for me. And even though Tenko and Himiko were flawed, their dynamic is such an integral part of both characters that is pleases me greatly that they were the token lesbians of this game. (It's always token lesbians because the protagonist is always male.... like in DR1 when it was Sakura and Aoi, but that one was less subtext and more friendship, and in SDR2 with Mahiru and Saionji, which is given more subtext like Ibuki's THE WORLD OF GIRL LOVE, IT'S SLIPPERY WHEN WET comment, but only DRV3 has the token lesbians not ONLY be canon at least one-sided, but was a greatly affected and started the character development of one half of the pair. YES. GOOD. ALMOST EVERYTHING I WANTED!!)

Anyway Tenmiko is a pure good ship that is objectively the best ship in Danganronpa. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong. 

spotto: (Stage One.)
BEYOND THIS POINT LIES DANGANRONPA V3 SPOILERS

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED


-------------




I have found it.

Something I have been searching for since the beginning of my adolescence. 

I have found it.

It exists.

It's as canon as it can ever be!

It's the closest its ever been.

Many times I would rant about something like Pinkie and Fluttershy not being as close as I hoped. The idea that an extrovert and an introvert could not only be friends, but beyond was a dream I thought not possible until recently. An extrovert that drives the introvert to improve themselves and the introvert teaching the extrovert how to treat and act to those of the same... a pipe dream you might say. It's also probably the most self-indulgent kind of ship I could ever yearn for, being an introvert who one day wishes to find the kind of friend like that (at least at first being able to TOLERATE the kind of person like that, and then slowly growing closer over time as we improve ourselves and complete one another) and so anything I find with such potential to be something like that I cling to with all the power I can wield.

Oftentimes I compared my frustrations with PinkieShy with a far darker and also probably less healthy relationship between two Danganronpa characters, Ibuki and Mikan. Unfortunately for those two, there are lots of extenuating circumstances that affect such a potential ship greatly. Let me be frank, I do not like unhealthy relationships. Any ship with any underlying toxic kind of atmosphere puts me off immediately. This is why I have a hard time shipping anything at all in Danganronpa because most if not all characters are fucked up beyond belief in one way or another. Mikan is one of those characters, and an especially extreme kind of example as well. No matter how much I love Ibuki I truly in my heart cannot see her having the ability to be one-half of Mikan, to be strong enough to support Mikan as she fights her infinite demons. Ibuki is not free of demons herself of course, but what backstory is provided for Ibuki is a farcry from how much we know of Mikan. It's simply not on equal standing. There's too much on the scale that weighs one over the other, one who needs so much more than the other and the other who has to give so much more than they can possibly provide.

Don't get me wrong though, all the art and AUs and headcanons of them are cute! But in the end for something to truly be an OTP, that is the kind of obstacle it must overcome. It's why I love Monochrome from RWBY so much. Their backstories are intertwined and the both of them can improve the other just by being together. It's such a thematically good ship (not to mention aesthetically pleasing) and should any ship among the main four come true, in terms of narrative and story purposes it makes the most sense and is the most rewarding for the story, as well as enriching for both characters. That kind of balance, that kind of give-and-take that makes a relationship work is what's ideal in my kind of ship. It may seem vanilla and boring on the surface, but maybe I just like boring and vanilla. Maybe I want that.

So it is of course to my surprise that Danganronpa's third installment, third maingame series provides just that.

When I first went through V3, I was shocked like the masses at the aftermath of chapter one. It took a long time for me to pick myself up and continue, to pay attention to the story and realize "Oh yeah, there are still fourteen other characters to care about". That's the kind of thing you recover from slowly as you trudge through the rest of the game. Still, I managed to develop another favourite despite how foolish that is, as all my favourites to this point had died horribly in this series. I knew the moment I grew attached. the moment I liked a character that character was doomed. They were dead. They would cease to be in a pile of pepto bismol and misery. And I would continue to doom characters over and over again no matter what, despite its affect on my heart.

But Himiko Yumeno, the next character I latched onto had a guardian angel. A character who basically made sure that Himiko would not suffer the same fate as all the others I had grown to love. And just like Himiko, I too found this guardian angel a bit too... forward. Annoying, so to say. Creepy even. Stalkery. Tenko Chabashira. My first reaction, my liveblog (and I've liveblogged every game so far somehow o_o) I commented about Himiko's weird, unhealthy psychopath friends. I was mostly referring to Angie when I brought that up, but Tenko was part of that description for a long time too. I was so convinced Himiko would bite the dust that I never really paid attention to the small details, only vaguely the big picture with tunnel vision strictly stuck on Himiko. She was dead, I was convinced. This next victim would be her. A small redheaded child will be laying on the ground in a pool of blood soon, or she'd be the next murderer and be executed in spectacular and elaborate fashion. I was convinced.

But Tenko, Tenko made sure that was not to be.

It wasn't until Tenko died that I, like Himiko, finally realized how much she mattered, how great she was. It would not be a lie to say that I strongly relate to Himiko. Himiko hits all three bullet points of being an excellent character Spotto would no doubt love. She was adorable, quotable, and relatable. Thankfully she wasn't particularly useful during trials or especially plot relevant near the end or else she'd be a mary-sue. She was hitting all the marks. But yes, these types of characters like Himiko traditionally were most in danger by the time chapter three rolled around. I was dreading Himiko's death. She was getting more and more relevant to the current chapter, and no doubt she'd croak and I had doomed her once more.

But Tenko. Tenko was there.

The moment Tenko introduced herself she launched into a foray of how much girls were great and men were terrible, evil beings that all had to die. A tad extreme. Well, okay not just a 'tad', but that kind of excessive hatred was a bit jarring and irritating over time. Then she had her little fussy obsession with Himiko. The slow, young sleepy girl was somehow the girl of Tenko's dreams. I still find that endlessly amusing and maybe even realistic. Normally when someone mentions the person of their dreams, it's an image of someone absolutely perfect, a person so beautiful and charismatic it wasn't possible for such a person to exist, yet Tenko's ideal girl was... Himiko. Yes, Himiko, a character Kokichi called ugly more than once (though he's quite the liar so who knows) and someone Miu insulted more than once (but Miu insults everyone, so.... both these characters' opinions MUST be taken with a grain of salt) yet Tenko sees Himiko as... perfect.

At first this seemed like a very superficial shallow kind of crush that Tenko had. Similar to Souda's one-sided love for Sonia in SDR2, I assumed like Souda, Tenko only cared for Himiko's very adorable appearance and very little else. And yes while it was rather apparent that she was smitten with Himiko's cute looks, over time Tenko began caring about Himiko beyond her surface. She tried to give Himiko drive. She tried to improve Himiko as a person. She could read Himiko, and realize that Himiko was hiding her emotions, was keeping herself locked within, and was coping with the killing game rather poorly, using escapism as a measure to ignore reality. When Tenko was concerned about these aspects of Himiko, it was clear then that Tenko had fallen for Himiko beyond just as a girl who was pretty, but for Himiko's virtues AND faults. Unlike so many other crushes portrayed in the media, Tenko's crush had actual substance. She wasn't just pining for Himiko for selfish reasons, but also FOR Himiko as well! She cared about Himiko as a person, and even though she held her on a pedestal for a good chunk of the beginning of the game, she eventually came to become the most supportive person possible to Himiko, the kind of person, the exact kind of friend you would want in a killing game.

And then she died.

Because it's Danganronpa and we can't have nice things.

Now this might seem like an all give and all take kind of relationship. It does seem pretty clearly that Tenko was ALL give to Himiko, and Himiko provided very little back. But I think what I really love about this ship is how both characters start off clearly flawed, one too lazy and too uncaring to bother doing anything, and one too overexcited and energetic to stop bothering others. Tenko did slowly improve over time in terms of her overly forward attitude. When she infiltrated the cult for instance, instead of just impulsively running up trying to drag Himiko out by force like her martial art of choice seems to encourage, she instead lays low and keeps watch to make sure Himiko is doing alright. It is only when it seems nothing else can be done that Tenko outright tries to shake Himiko out of her stupor, to get her to stop being brainwashed. This seems like a stark contrast to the sputtering Tenko of chapter one who can't keep her mouth shut about her fantasies with Himiko or her assumptions of how Himiko is feeling, and in return Himiko is now willingly hanging out with Tenko!  And as much as Himiko is the character I love the most in this game, I can't help but be most intrigued with Tenko's backstory and how she came to be.

Tenko apparently used to be a very rowdy child, I think even angry. (I don't remember exactly, so this could be wrong) so she was tossed into a temple to calm this side of her personality down. Even though Tenko is still quite emotive, this is apparently the most stable she's ever been in her life, so that Aikido must be doing something. She then has one SINGLE line in the entire game, a throwaway line you might not even pay attention to in the trials (that was somewhat mistranslated from the original Japanese) about the ramblings of a drunk father. Of course not knowing Japanese I can't confirm this, but some people have said the localization for whatever reason changed Tenko's words of "my drunk father" to "a drunk father" leaving it ambiguous in the dub if she's just referring to drunken people in general or a personal experience. This line is so important because Tenko's FTEs don't really reveal much about her family life, and only reveal that her master is a troll and Tenko is a gullible idiot who does whatever master says even if he's clearly bullshitting. I mean it's an amusing explanation for her misandry but I find the stereotypical angsty version a little more sympathetic. If you combine them both it gives Tenko even more depth. 

In contrast while Himiko's FTEs revealed a great deal about her own master and her superiority inferiority complex, it didn't really give much information as to why Himiko was... Himiko. Maybe there's something I'm missing. Still the game itself does well to give Himiko development, and since I had to pick apart random lines and Tenko's FTEs to find anything due to Tenko's tragically shortened life, it makes sense how everything went down. 

If there's anything about this game and Danganronpa in general I do have a bit of a tiff with, it's how they deal with LGBT characters. Yes most characters DO die, but any time a character shows interest in the same gender they usually die, and the subject of their interest usually lives. And it's always up to interpretation whether or not the living character had interest in return, like an obviously gay character isn't allowed to live or something. While I am glad Tenmiko is like, at least half-canon I can't one hundred percent say it's ENTIRELY canon since Himiko's feelings in return, though are at least at friendship levels and SUPER REGRET levels I cannot with certainty say are at romantic levels. Sure Himiko has expressed interest in men, but she ALSO has the bisexual haircut! And she MIGHT reciprocate her feelings to Tenko! She always mentions Tenko, and if she does mention Angie Tenko's name is always first, and if Kaito or Kaede is brought up, Himiko brings up Tenko too when the other two are obvious lost loves of the other survivors. But I still can't find anything concrete to back it up. It's all just implied or interpretation. I would love nothing more than even a SIDE thing confirming how Himiko felt, but until that comes out or happens I just can't say for sure. ):

I was THIS close to a canon FxF pair too. LET MY TOKEN LESBIANS BE CANON! I say token because just like with SDR2 and Komaeda it seems like 75% of all artwork I find of V3 is Kokichixsomebody. Yes, I also like Kokichi but I don't like him enough to be 75% of my V3 content, especially when I'm so attached to these token lesbians. At least the official anthology that is approved by the creators has some nice Tenmiko content where even Himiko seems to like Tenko back, but it's not CANON TO THE SERIES so I still can't say with ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY!! Ah well, still the most official anything I've ever shipped has ever been, so that's something. And Danganronpa also provided me with IBUKI, the CANON BI/ACE/NOT!STRAIGHT AT LEAST character who also happens to be my favourite and that very fact makes me all the more overjoyed that Ibuki exists. There are more than a handful of confirmed LGBT characters in the Danganronpa franchise, so I'm happy they're fine with making them all canon and such.

BUT MAYBE STOP MAKING THEM ALL TRAGICALLY GAY. I mean there was Teruteru who was bi, but he expressed his sexual orientation very openly and inappropriately, and also died. Then Mahiru probably had that gay friend Sato but she also became a lesbian murderer... and then there was Mikan who loved Junko but because Junko is ultimate despair Mikan is clearly fucked in the head... and also became a murderer... and then there was Juzo with his one-sided crush on Munakata, but he did lots of shitty things and died a tragic and heroic third wheel whose feelings would never be returned not only because Munakata was officially with Chisa but because Munakata fucking stabbed him, and then we have Tenko... WHY. WHY DANGANRONPA. LET AT LEAST ONE LIVE!!!

This isn't even getting to like, Komaeda and Kokichi and their implied feelings. WHO KNOWS. THEY DIED ANYWAY, SO WHATEVER.

But if you CONFIRM IT on Himiko there will AT LEAST BE ONE, and I will be satisfied with ONE. That's how low my expectations are. I don't think Shuichi counts because all his non-straight interactions are in bonus side games and were never relevant to the plot, which kind of sucks. It's great it exists though and probably does mean he's bi, but it's not shown whatsoever in the main story that he has attraction to men at any point. Maybe Kaito? idk

It's still better than literally every other media I've consumed that's all about queerbaiting but not actually having a single queer character or maybe it's GUEST CHARACTER OF THE DAY WHO IS GAY, or IRRELEVANT MINOR CHARACTER IS GAY or whatever. Nooo, never an IMPORTANT character or anything... >_>

I dunno if the Ultra Despair Girls count because nothing is outright mentioned or whatever. It could still be interpreted as a beautiful friendship, and because of how hetero-normative society is, unless it's spelled OUTRIGHT for the audience and SMASHED into their faces, the majority will never adopt a common belief that so-and-so character is not straight. IMPOSSIBIRU they'd say. Straight is the DEFAULT, they'd think. Blah. BLAH TO THEM! 

Anyway I dunno why I needed so much text to spell out Tenko is the dog to Himiko's cat and I love dog/cat ships. At least I finally ship something in Danganronpa. I finally have an OTP. An OTP I can be proud of. YAY!

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I've talked to friends and read many posts about what is most important in their life. What matters to them the most; what truly resonates with their soul. A major one I see a lot from friends, internet, and society in  general since it's been a large issue for years and years is sexuality. The debate and fight to get gay marriage passed and the neverending plight to stop discrimination and hate that comes back the other way. There are other major social issues that I see over and over again as well since no matter how good it may seem on the surface compared to so many years ago, something like racial tension will always be around, lurking underneath an innocent exterior or blown right up and smashed into your face if someone massively influential happens to promote it. (We all know who I'm referring to here) Regardless, there are lot of these kinds of thing that people are very passionate about, and very passionate about making them right, making them better.

I have the fortune of not having much attachment to those kind of issues due to not running into much conflict. I guess the word a lot of people use is privilege. For instance, though I am Asian, specifically Chinese, not only do I not run into much racism at least as much as some of my other Asian peers is because I take up the majority of the Asian populace (that or Indian, I'm not entirely sure who has more population at the moment) and I happened to grow up in an incredibly multicultural neighbourhood. My area was so diverse, that there were more Asian people in my high school than white people. White people were the minority. I never really got flak for my race as I grew up. so I never was as passionate as many other less fortunate folk in terms of fighting it, and thus cannot understand to quite their degree their plights. 

I also have the fortune of living in a very liberal city, but not only that, growing up in a family where my brother came out as gay. Although the fallout of that with my family itself was not pleasant, I learned early on that there was no reason whatsoever to be bigoted to people who prefer one sex to another. I learned very early on thanks to my environment that people can like whoever they please and that's seriously not even the in the top ten of issues we should even be concerned about, but we have to because bigots will always exist and always discriminate. In a perfect world you would think most if not all people would be focused on issues affecting the entirety of the human race, such as global warming and its impact on humanity and their quality of life, or helping out those escaping from war-torn authoritarian countries. No, there's still this major debate that people need to care about who people love, and there's still this major debate about racism and sexism and all these other hot-topics that if we were all decent people would in a utopian society would not even be in a blip in our radar, yet here we are.

And it is an important fight that will likely be endless, but that isn't a reason to never fight, for if we never do, we will never improve. Many wonderful. outstanding individuals over many years have progressed us to where we are today, where slavery in its most traditional sense anyway, is no more in many countries, and everyone above a certain age can vote. Still, as important as these issues are, what really resonates with my soul and frankly in the large scheme of things isn't nearly as important as these issues is friendship.

Yet due to how I grew up, it has affected me very deeply. It's impacted who I am, what I like, who I befriend. It shapes my personality, my attitude, and my perspective. I don't think I've yet to run into anyone who is as moulded by this desire for friendship as much as I have, but again I don't know other people inside and out, so I can't be entirely one-hundred-percent sure. When I was very young. I was this small Asian girl about to start school. I remember how small I was because not only were there photos, but because for the entirety of elementary school and even middle school, I was the smallest person in class, bar none. It's possible I forgot a year where I wasn't and happened to be slightly taller than some other student who didn't stick around the school for long, but for most of it all I was the smallest. It's not hard to forget either. I remember one of my gym teachers referring to me and my other smol brethren as munchkins, and my best friend I made in primary school to this day had always nicknamed me shrimp. I am small, and people will not let me forget.

Before I continue let me repeat that I do have the memory of a goldfish, and for whatever sadistic reason it is in human nature for us to be more likely to remember the unpleasant memories over the good ones. Or it's possible I had a miserable childhood, but whatever the case, when I was in kindergarten I only remember making this one friend. We weren't that close since I don't even remember his name, and I don't consider him the first friend I made, since a kid and their family moved into the basement suite we rented out and she became my very very first friend. Still, due to that girl being two years my junior the first friend I made in school was this boy. My single memory of our friendship me as a young child crying uncontrollably hidden under the biggest, very much unsafe slide we had at the playground, and this boy who I assume was probably responsible felt bad and was trying to apologize or cheer me up in some way. I don't recall how. I only recall that it didn't work. He had to stay behind a year for whatever reason my smol child mind could not comprehend, and I moved onto the first grade.

The only thing I remember in all of first grade is that our school was so small some classes did not even have their own classroom. In first grade my classroom was in the gymnasium. That's it. That's all I remember. (In fourth grade my class was in a library until the portable classrooms were finished construction and then we moved there. There was another grade, probably second that was also in the portable classrooms, but I think we also had a legitimate classroom at one point too, so my memory is faint. Only reason I remember this is because I distinctly remember being super excited to have a Gameboy Colour of my very own with a copy of Pokemon Blue. I guess I made out my new fun toy to be too fun because someone stole it from my backpack not very long after. I never saw it again. D<)

Second grade though was when my friend who lived downstairs started school, and unlike me who made that one kid friend and her as a friend she found a clique right away. Unfortunately being different grades causes problems because she'd bond with these other kindergarteners, and I was two years older and then though I was her friend, she'd rather be with these other similarly aged peers. I remember this one time one of her friends had a birthday party, and I was upset because I wasn't invited. Of course I wasn't invited because I wasn't really close to her friend, but I thought since I was her friend and this clique was like, three people outside of me that we could get to all be friends or whatever and it wouldn't be bad if I joined them too. Or in other words I begged my friend's friend to invite me too, and it it worked, but I really wish I didn't do that, or at least it didn't work because that whole party ended up being very awkward. Still, that friend of mine who had this clique was still my friend probably due to our proximity of living spaces, so the year went by.

Third grade luckily I made a friend but the evils that were DIFFERENT GRADES continued because this friend was in the fourth grade. For whatever inane reason the school had this one BIG KID area reversed for ONLY the fourth grade kids. Keep in mind I was in a very small school, and it was called an Annex so it only went up to the fourth grade until you were shuffled over to a full-fledged big Elementary school that went from kindergarten to seventh grade. Some areas in the country, and well the world have a thing called middle school, which we didn't really have in my area, but that second elementary school was pretty much my middle school so when we get to that part I'm just gonna call it middle school anyway. Now obviously my fourth grade friend would of course want to be in this big kid area. All the other big kids were there. It was the cool thing to do, and hanging out with a friend a year younger than you may lead to kids making fun of you or looking down on you for not being in the cool reserved big kids area. I may never know my friend's reasoning, but she was my best friend this year. I never called the kid that had a clique my best friend, but I always referred to her as my first friend and someone I was close to. Third grade was the worst year of this school for me. My lack of any friends in my own grade was quite a disadvantage and this was the first year I experienced everyone's favourite past time in school, BULLYING! I also had the meanest teacher of all time in this year, and remember several times crying during the year of suffering.

Pull a seat and grab a cup of tea because I may be stuck in third grade for a while. During this tremulous year, I was one of two kids that caught head lice. Unlike the other kid who only had a little and thus, was probably caught from me, I had head lice all over my head. I had to have treatment and my hair cut quite short. This one girl bulled me relentlessly for this short hair. And I 100% know I am cis because despite being a super tomboy I seem to be very passionate about letting people know I was not a boy. I do not look like a boy. Fuck you for calling me a boy. Go the fuck to hell. This was not the first time this happened. For you see, I actually had a few friends outside of school that lived on my street. I had this older female friend likely already in middle school, and this boy a year younger than me who introduced me to THE NINTENDO 64 HOLY FUCK. We spent a lot of time bike-riding and playing video games. I am blessed to have spent time outdoors for my early childhood because let me tell ya the moment I got a computer and access to the internet the outside was a long gone memory. Anyway when that older female friend found out I had this friend who was a boy, all hell broke loose. She had this insane concept that boys and girls could not be friends. PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND. THIS IS AN ONGOING THEME. And told me if I did not de-friend this boy this instant, she would de-friend me. To make matters worse, she said the fact that I HAD a friend that was male meant I was TURNING INTO A BOY. I ran off crying. My dumb smol child brain believed that I was turning into a boy because of this, but also being one that is a dumb smol child, instead of defending my male friend or staying with that female friend I stopped hanging out with the both of them entirely. I lost two friends because of this stupid concept. That male friend of mine was probably super upset too, that poor child. However the best part of this terrible little incident is my very first friend came and comforted me while I was crying. 

And this whole choose one or the other kind of thing did not stop there. My best friend in school in the fourth grade and I also made this other friend as well. Now this may be relevant, but my best friend was white, and this new friend was native. So even though it seemed like we hung out with one another (we ate lunch together, I think?) my best friend would constantly bully my native friend. This was odd because I was not that close to the native friend. I'm quite sure it was my best friend that befriended her anyway. Or "befriended" I should say, but being the dumb smol child that I was, I did not defend my native friend. That's just as bad as doing the bullying yourself, but I guess at this point I wasn't willing to be assertive or helpful whatsoever because it's quite clear I have this desperation for friendship, and I'd do anything not to rock the boat and lose anymore friends. If given the choice to defend the poor kid being picked on or staying friends with the alpha female, my choice was to do nothing. Because I didn't want to invite more conflict. I feel pretty bad about those kids I did not defend though. I was not a strong person.

Finally, this friend I wanted to stay my best friend moved pretty much after the third grade. I was only friends with her for one year, and I did not help this other friend of ours, and it was all just sort of pointless now that I thought about it, how much I wanted to stay friends with her due to my inaction and thus enabling of her behaviour but perhaps if I did defend that third friend we would be friends instead. Even so that was not the worst part of this year. The teacher making me cry in front of my dad who berated me as I cried was not the worst part of this year. The losing of two friends due to an ultimatum was not the worst part of this year. Being horribly bullied by this girl with head lice was not the worst part of this year. I had a fallout with my very first friend. I felt like she was bossing me around and I was just letting her, and being submissive so I don't lose her as a friend and so did whatever she wanted, whatever she said. I don't recall what exactly caused us to fight, but I stood up for myself for the very first time and it blew up, and this first friend of mine stopped being my friend. We had this feud, this grudge. Every time I walked by she would turn her head and huff, and to have lost all my friends in the span of one year, including my first was a crippling blow. It only further fueled my desperation for friendship, but not only friendship. True friendship. It's not as if this first friend was terrible or toxic because I do remember the fond memory of her supporting me when I was crying, but well, the moment I tried to be independent, or how I felt like I was being bossed around was the moment I lost her.

Anyway I fucking hated third grade, but yay for fourth grade! I may have entered it friendless, but there was this new kid in class. And we became friends pretty much the moment I met her, and she was the one who always called me shrimp and stuff. Unlike all these other friends who were all different grades, weren't even in my school and of different ages, and not someone I clung to or put on a pedestal or whatever, this friend was my peer of my same grade, and she would pick on me a lot. But friendly picking. Like, the first friend where we can make jabs at each other and not step around egg shells. She has been my friend since fourth grade and is still my friend. Of course at this point I was sort of broken, like friendship is SUCH A HUGE ISSUE FOR ME NOW that it eclipsed everything else. Most people would say the point of school is not only for academics but also to become socially intelligent as the years go by. How to treat other people, how to make friends, all that stuff that is healthy for the human psyche. Yet I put all my buns in that second basket, and so my grades were always average except that one weird year I was top of the class for math somehow. I felt like the KING OF THE WORLD and was DESTINED TO BECOME A DOCTOR, but I digress. For anyone reading who knows of my planned trip to California next year, this friend, also known as Tofumold or some other food-related name will be coming with me. However she has never been an affectionate person and doesn't have this friendship complex like I do, so I started having these expectations like "I wish I had friends that would hug me! Because on TV friends hug!" and other such things. She doesn't do that. So while she is my very best friend since childhood, my years of struggle with friendship before this year gave me these humongous expectations to find these ideal friends cartoons like to feed me. Who are these perfect friends that are always on television!?

Also at the same time all this regular grade school stuff was happening, I was enrolled in a Chinese school that took place every Saturday since I was four before I even started regular school. I never made a single friend in this school. I was extremely bitter about this, and though I mentioned being bullied in third grade, the first time I was actually bullied was when I was four by other fellow four-to-five year olds. Like what the fuck? Kids still have souls at this age do they not!? Anyway my lack of friends gave me an incredible lack of motivation to do anything at this school let alone learn, and I was a pretty terrible student. Around tenth grade I outright refused to go back to the school, I was so fed up. In hindsight the idea of being in this school to retain my knowledge of my own native language was very important because of how many people that spoke the language and lived in the area, but I also understand why I never retained it and never managed to learn much of anything. My mindset was so stuck on this whole friendship thing, this thing I wanted so much but struggled so hard to obtain and when I did, to keep, and if I did keep was it even sincere in the first place? This insecurity struck with me my entire school life, and its remnants still remain with me to this day.

So anyway fifth grade came around, we were off to a new school to the wonderful experience that is middle school. Or the years of my school where douchebaggery was highly contagious and infected most if not everyone including myself. Bullies everywhere! IT'S TRUE! MIDDLE SCHOOLERS ARE SOULLESS HUSKS OF A HUMAN BEING! In an effort to not be at the bottom of the social ladder with my friend, there was this probably mentally handicapped kid with a speech impediment that everyone made fun of. We were not exceptions and it was not a proud moment of my life, but just like all the other times of inaction and trying to be with the majority to not stand out and all that kind of jazz it was a thing I did. School feels like this whole dominance kind of thing where followers will always look towards the strongest alpha student, follow their ways to not be seen as weak and thus be picked on by the populace. It's like survival of the fittest; savage animals trying to stay alive. That's why bullying is such a difficult issue to solve, and sometimes the only way to fix it isn't any sort of the safe, peaceful methods the faculty or parents always attempt, like ignoring the bully or telling a teacher or whatever. Those never work. The only time I've seen someone successfully fend off a bully was to stand up for themselves and punch them back, even if they are also suspended or even the only one suspended because of how backwards school rules are. My god, school is like prison. I've always heard to earn respect or to keep yourself from being a target is even if someone fights you, you must fight back. You can't run to a prison guard or try to hide or anything of the like. Even if you lose the fight horribly, as long as you stand up for yourself people will respect you. THAT'S SCHOOL. Can't tell a teacher, can't be a snitch! You're gonna get punished for being in the fight regardless of who initiated! AND YOU WILL BE BEAT UP ANYWAY. Survival of the fittest everyone.

Around this same time I made some friends! Yay! A few female friends and people I even invited to a birthday party. I even had this silly game I had with one of them where we'd grapple our hands and try to push each other like we were sumo wrestling or whatever. I remember fond memories of eating dried noodles from its package and people playing Pokemon cards, Yu-Gi-Oh, and soon even Beyblade. The trends were here! Of course during said birthday party all hell broke loose. I'm being melodramatic probably, but I'm pretty sure I cried at most of my birthday parties. Or at least was not particularly happy about them. Maybe I'm just a sensitive little bitch, who knows. But the one year I remember this being very warranted. One friend I made was like another one of these alpha females. I don't know why I keep calling them this, but it's like this one girl I befriend who is bossy and I always listen to and such. They command the room. They are the leader. Anyway I have this male cousin of mine, two years junior who I was very close to over the years. The markup of my family tree is sort of complicated but essentially we were the only people in our family of similar age, and everyone else was either just being born, or was not born, or was way older than us (including my brother who is over seven years my senior) so I became fast friends with him and he is a huge influence of my life. He introduced me to LF2 and Negima a few years down the line (attempted to introduce me to Re:Zero but after the debacle that was Negima I learned better >_>) He also had like every game console in existence. I remember playing games on his PS Classic like Worms and Gundam, on his PS2, his PS3, his PS4, his Nintendo 64, his Gamecube. He introduced me to Smash and is just as passionate about it as Souless is. (He once brought a CRT TV to a BOAT so he could play Melee properly with his friends. On a boat. Like don't even get on a boat to be on a boat, go on it to play Melee! To be  fair his father was a fisherman so he probably had been on boats most of his life, but still!) I also got him to play Soldat for a few years. It was nice.

So yeah, when this happened a fucking third time, there was no longer inaction or fear of losing a friend. Because my alpha female friend I had made this year was appalled that I had this male cousin who was my friend. She was like NO BOYS ALLOWED! She and the other (female) friends I had invited to the party locked themselves in MY OWN ROOM declaring it a BOY-FREE ZONE, and instead of joining them all I was outside the door with my cousin who was crying. FUCK. THESE. PEOPLE. This was MY birthday party. That was MY room. And this was MY cousin who I had been close to for YEARS! I didn't care that ALL OF MY FRIENDS were in there with her. I STAYED WITH MY COUSIN. I was so angry! I was so appalled. WHY IS THIS CONCEPT OF MALES AND FEMALES BEING FRIENDS SO TERRIBLE? We were EVEN related! I don't even! Holy fucking shit! 

And you know what? I defended my cousin and didn't lose any of my friends. Not even my alpha female friend.

Of course she moved away a year later. If it had gone down similarly to previous incidents, I may have lost friends and then the one I would have kept would have moved away anyway. I avoided this happening a second time by defending my cousin. We also made some male friends at school we'd play a form of tag with all the time, but we were always the ones chasing them so I assume no one wanted to pick that role and we were willing to be the sharks to try to eat them because we were not particularly high on the social ladder at school. I remember very little of sixth grade aside from not being fond of the teacher, but outside of school it was around this time my first friend moved away and another kid, a boy a few years my junior moved in. We became fast friends, played LF2 and NHL 97, and for a brief period of time this other kid in the neighbourhood played those games with us too. This was also around the time I got my first hamster, and I think I influenced HIS life quite a bit because we really enjoyed manhandling these hamsters (I know better now, lol. Imagine if my parents had any presence in my life during these times of turmoil how different this would all be) and when he finally moved like 90% of my friends do he got himself his own hamster. I got a boy to like hamsters. Cute. He also played Beyblades with me and it seems like though I struggle to keep female friends, I always find similar hobbies and interests with this guy friends and always actually DO stuff together. This never seemed to be the case with most of my female friends. Luckily my very best friend also enjoyed video games, so there was that to bond over. Alas I do not remember much else of this year, so moving on to the seventh grade which i do remember quite a bit.

During this year, we made friends with these two boys that sat at our same table. I actually knew one of the boys for a long time to the point that my family would be like "OH IT'S SPOTTO'S BOYFRIEND!1!" playfully or whatever, but only became friends this year. What's amusing to me is that the OTHER boy actually confessed to my best friend at the end of the year. She didn't recuperate, but that's sort of interesting. I only stayed friends with the boys, but one thing that truly touched me is on my birthday I was given this sketch of myself with a little doggy (because I loved dogs a lot!) and balloons everywhere out of the whim. I still have that drawing on my wall to this day and it is my favourite birthday present ever. I did not have to invite him to my birthday party to get a present. He just did it just because. I wonder if he too liked me beyond friends, but idk. I was still struggling with friendship and my brain was wired that boys and girls could be friends that I never really thought about romance whatsoever. I was a smol child with a smol child brain. Pretty sure I still have a smol child brain now too. 

Anyway it was a generally happy year except that one time I threw up in front of the class during quiet time and got relentlessly picked up by this asshole jock. I also remember this year (or was it the last?) where the popular girl made me do her homework. YAY MIDDLE SCHOOL! But still, I had close reliable friends who I didn't feel like were just friends just because, but people who really cared about me. This was the year I was king of math. Is there a particular reason for that? I don't know. But I think I do better in academics when I'm not flailing about drowning trying to make friends. For once in my life, I felt stable. I had a good friendship with the boy that lived downstairs, and spent lots of time with him and this other kid. I was friends with the kids at my table. My best friend was still here. This was not a year where I yearned for friendship. I had it.

Then everything changed when high school attacked. 

Luckily me and my best friend went to the same high school but due to where our school was located and where people lived, basically everyone at our grade split off to four different high schools. I never saw those boys again. In high school we did end up making some friends... all female. it was a very large clique with say 8-10 people, but due to my everlasting status of being near the bottom of the social ladder and my friendship complex, me and my best friend were not anywhere close to alpha female position, let's just say. I had this desire to make more friends, but CLOSE friends just like with my best friend. But in a clique there's usually even more inner cliques. Two girls will be best friends and do all the stuff together. Same with these other two girls. I came into this clique with my own best friend already, but we weren't all in the same classes ALL the time. And these friends of mine were closer to these other girls probably because they didn't put each other on pedestals or have clingy friendship complexes, so it was difficult to really grow close. I liked the girls that were nicer to me and such, but even then. It was also at this time my time on the internet went on a rise and I found friends online. Online friends who shared VERY close interests to mine since we could communicate over long distances and I didn't know anyone in my school with very similar interests. Due to such, I grew much more closer to these internet friends. I think the most significant of these were the BIFF. Today, only two of the BIFF remain but they have become ultra close friends with me especially Akira, and now I've learned that best friends are few and far between, but will always be there with you. It's not all about having sixty thousand friends and expecting them to all be as devoted as the few.

Akira is the other friend coming down to SFO with me! Let me talk about the internet friends too! We all bonded over Beyblade. Obviously no female friend of mine in high school gave two shits about Beyblade, so the internet was all I could turn to. Unfortunately my best friend who I do share interests with we always sort of miss that interest by a few steps. Like how she prefers RPGs and I prefer shooters, or how she likes Yu-Gi-Oh and I liked Beyblade. We were close! SIMILAR GENRES EVEN, but no cigar! Only the internet could solve this everlasting problem, and solve it did! I began writing stupid stories on crack about Beyblade characters and made friends in the fanfiction community. I had been writing as a hobby since I was like nine on my brother's ancient laptop, so it was not unfamiliar territory for me. Since making friends was SO rad to me I became very attached to these people like I knew them in real life, even if all we had was Beyblade. But once that interest faded, a majority of them faded as well because we didn't really do anything else nor have similar interests otherwise. It was more like a club that liked this one thing, and once people left the club because they weren't interested, it was no more.

No hard feelings or anything... well except this one incident where one of our club blocked us all of sudden, and I foolishly, like the foolish desperate clingy person I was, tried all I could to at least COMPREHEND why someone would do this. Since she really only blocked me, I reached out through another friend, and talked to her. She dodged all our questions and then proceeded to block everybody. I could never understand, but one of my friends told me to let it go. So I did. It was a difficult decision, but to be fair I did step on her toes by not respecting her decision to exit from our lives by trying to reach her beyond her powers that be. I still don't understand, to this day.

Back to high school though, and I don't really feel like splitting it by year so we're just gonna have one giant blurb about high school in its entirety. Since I was closer to my internet friends and couldn't truly reach over to these high school friends, I began having the same problem I did with my very first friend. Where they would do things and not invite us, or only invite us if no one else was able to go. One of my friends gave me ample advice when she realized my little friendship complex. Don't do things for other people before doing things for yourself. I don't remember the exact quote, but basically I was so eager to please i never really thought about my own self considering my very average grades and all, and just tried to do whatever I could to stay friends with people. It's a theme of my life, man. I also had one friend I made some year later (Grade nine? Egads I remember nothing) who I found rather obnoxious, but she was probably the type of person I should have stayed friends with over several others because no matter how much I expressed to her that she was annoying, she was still very accepting and friendly to me. I wish I stayed friends with her. She was one of those people I felt would be one of those once-in-a-lifetime friends if you gave them a chance, but I sadly did not.

There was also one year, later on maybe in junior or senior, where there was this friend who was basically Pinkie Pie in real life. She had ALL OF THE FRIENDS and was nice to ALL of the people, including me, so low on the social ladder! I really wish I could have been a closer friend to hers, but because she had so many other friends it was a nigh impossible achievement. There was also one year where I suffered some of the worst bullying. In sophomore these girls were transferred to our school and she would not stop at anything to call me names or throw pennies at me because I looked like a poor kid. (I wasn't actually that poor in terms of the school. I was just not one who found importance in appearance so I kind of looked like someone who didn't care and was more, let's say, homely than other kids. Or if you wanna bully me too, you could call me a hobo! Because I looked like a hobo. Gee I wonder if my parents had more of a presence in my life I wouldn't always dress up like a hobo to school) 

Back to the internet that I was increasingly spending more time on because I felt so much more accepted on there. Also they can't see me, so they can't tell me I look like a hobo! After discovering LF2 and playing so much of that game, I found another game that this website covered too called Soldat. Alas my friend I spent oodles of time playing games with who lived downstairs moved away, but I immersed myself in Soldat. I found many friends, a clique that in video games called a "clan" and got to see these same people in these same servers over and over again. We had fun, fun times shooting each other in a competitive environment. Though again like the Beyblade days many of these people faded away, there were some I stuck by for a very long time and still talk to today. We call ourselves Spectral Infantry, but I think I'm the only one that does that now because Discord exists and nobody cares about the clan name and my Teamspeak is dying. Regardless, it's not the name that is important, just like the name BIFF was never really important. (It stands for Best Internet Friends Forever. I hope that is the case with the two I am still friends with lolololol) but the people that still stick around. Also obviously a majority of these friends are guys. Because all the guy friends I've ever made friends with NEVER antagonized me for being friends with them despite being a girl, or never purposefully excluded me because if they want to spend time playing say, Path of Exile when I do not even play that game who am I to feel excluded? I don't play that game. It was a lot more transparent I guess. I felt more stable amongst them. My ability to friendship was finally levelling up, but those back at school were as stagnant as ever. The same feelings, the same kind of inevitable conclusions.

It's very important to not only share interests but share hobbies when it comes to friends. Video games were the thing that kept me going with these people. On the other hand, though I share less interests and hobbies with the few female but true friends I have left to this day, I still feel very close to them because we bonded on an emotional level. We understand each other, and we will be there for one another. Both of these have taught me that I do not need to be doing a thing with a person 24/7 to stay friends with them, or trying to be complacent to keep as many friends as possible because only the important friends are the ones that you really need to keep. The ones that will keep you going and motivated like they do me. At the end of high school, the one friend I became closest to outside of my best friend, who gave me a handmade birthday card out of nowhere, encouraged my graphic design and caused me to win the grade-wide competition, and actually gave me HUGS what the fuck, brutally chastised my appearance throughout high school with the harshest words possible over the internet. I blocked her immediately and we are no longer friends. It was one of the worst friendship breakups I have had, on par with my very first friend,. People who were there for me but obviously had some sort of pent up issue with me that the first sign where either I mentioned something or I was out of frame physically they unloaded their frustrations with me. Why couldn't they be honest from the get-go? I guess because I was a sensitive, eager, clingy person with a friendship complex, and the moment any conflict arises could be the end of it all, like it was. But it always blew up in the end because of it. It always ended friendships.

It always hurt.

And now the consequences.

I have had a pretty terrible year in terms of loss and family and pain, but in terms of PHYSICAL pain I went through several dental treatments to get my teeth fixed. Root canals, crowns, and surgery. Oddly enough despite all of those things I mentioned, the worst pain was the first cleaning I had after several several years. Because my teeth were so bad I was very sensitive to temperature so any cleaning felt like the absolute worst. Somehow cold air was worse than giant pointed steel needles being stabbed into my gums. I also buy separate shampoo and conditioner now, and pay for my own toothpaste, floss, mouthwash and toothbrush because my parents cheaped out and always bought the crappiest toothpaste possible, the cheapest 2-in-1 shampoo, and really all the other tools that though I do not blame for why I've had self-esteem issues certainly contributed a small part to it. Oh and I started buying some of my own clothes because throughout all of high school it was hand-me-downs all the way down, and since I was a tomboy I rejected 50% of it. So i kept wearing very old clothes that started getting tattered. My money at the time was going into things that were more important, like computers and video games. THUS THE HOBONESS! 

But the other consequence was where my interests ending up lying. I was so in need of friendship that every single thing I've ever watched, friendship was the most important issue to me. My very first OTP, ship as it were that I blame the whole Beyblade fanfiction community for getting me into, was KazumiSayo. See my icon? STILL KazuSayo. They are relatively minor characters in the grand scheme of Negima, but for what they had I enjoyed them immensely. Kazumi I saw as a role model because she wasn't a character that really developed per-say. She was kind of ideal from the get-go. She did not care about being in cliques or being friends with a cast herd. When the manga started she was in no cast herd, she was alone. And she was fine with it. She was still confident, still spunky, still had the best voice, still was extremely attractive despite such. (How do attractive people not attract friends?) and was very kind.

Then Sayo came along. Sayo was a ghost who had been alone for like some ridiculous amount of time, like sixty years. No one could see her until her teacher just happened be a wizard. Then when her existence was exposed, it was Kazumi who befriended her. Now at first I wondered why Kazumi of all people befriended her. I could see it in terms of practical reasons, like Sayo being a ghost would be ideal for Kazumi's need for intel, what with being an aspiring journalist and all. Meanwhile Sayo's need for a friend is extreme because she has been alone for sixty years and she hasn't become a batshit insane murderous ghost yet. Kazumi gives her this need. in terms of who is giving more and who is receiving more, it looks one-sided.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that the most healthy and best relationships are when two people improve one another, and while Sayo who I essentially related to since she desperately needed a friend will become a better, more whole person thanks to Kazumi, what does she serve for Kazumi beyond the practicality? Does she make Kazumi a better person? At first I believed maybe Kazumi might be susceptible to becoming the stereotypical yellow journalist who would do anything to get a story. She did toy with the idea with exposing magic to the world, but it wasn't difficult to convince her to keep it under wraps despite such a story being an ample opportunity to launch her career straight into the moon. She also mentioned when she first became friends with Sayo that letting the world know of the existence of a real live ghost would also land her in prime territory to be one of the most renowned journalists out there, yet she is the one that convinces herself not to do so because that would be unfair and plain mean to Sayo, who does not need the attention of the world right now. She does not need to be a zoo exhibit or to be experimented on by scientists or studied, she needs a friend. That's exactly what Kazumi provided. I suppose Sayo fills out the role of keeping Kazumi in check. She was a wildcard for a moment when some members of the class opposed Negi's side of the battle, and Kazumi for a while was working for the supposedly "evil" side (it was more like a huge moral dilemma and no one was painted as an irredeemable bad guy, but still) but once context was given to Kazumi she switched sides pretty easily.

But still, their relationship served to fuel my need for a friend. One who for no reason would be your friend. Like a dog! I love dogs. I always wanted one but it was never right to ever get a dog due to their upkeep and price. Dogs are those kinds of unwavering companions that no matter what will always be loyal. No matter who you are or what you look like. That's why I loved Kazumi and Sayo so much. I saw this character who I looked up to, wanted to be like who gave unconditional support to this ghost character, who needed it above all else and overlooked her own ambitions to do so. It was a heartwarming friendship I wanted out of anyone at all. Still, it didn't serve the ideal kind of friendship I was looking for where the two characters could help one another to be better people.

Touhou came along to bring with it oodles of odd female friendships. I am very attached to female friendships as you can see. With guys, it's just play video games with them to bond because competition or whatever. I even watched Beyblade to figure that out too. But I could not figure out female friendship. I had such a hard time retaining female friends. I've run into so many problems and incidents involving all of that, so my interest was very high for how media portrayed female friendship. That's one of the many reasons I jumped between so many favourite characters and thus so many different OTPs in Touhou. So many different depictions of friendship and devotion! I loved it! One of my first favourites was Murasa and Nue. Unfortunately at the time they were in one of the less popular cast herds, so finding anything notable and meaningful that portrayed the two was a bit of a challenge. The depiction they usually got was that Nue was alone and sort of excluded from the main cast herd that being the Myouren Temple because she was a bit of a prankster/troublemaker. And she felt she needed to be alone (also she was sealed for like several hundred years) but secretly she wanted some form of companionship. Murasa was the usual person she'd  be paired with for that companionship. I remember reading this touching doujinshi where Nue is all self-conscious and stuff, gets attacked by some scumbag humans (not that humans ARE scumbags but these guys tried to kill Nue when she never provoked them, so... ) and they involved one of the legends associated with Nue in the conflict. The nue was shot down by some famous guy (I forget his name) by either his amazing enchanted bow, or he was so amazing he could shoot down mystical youkai like nues. So this guy that was trying to kill Nue had this bow and that guy's name too, so even though youkai usually very easily overpower humans this was not the case here.

Anyway Murasa pops out of nowhere and takes the arrow for her. It's treated as very melodramatic because Nue acts like Murasa is dying even though youkai can brush off such physical injuries plus Murasa is ALSO a ghost and ALREADY kinda of dead anyway, but yeah, this relationship was kind of like KazuSayo to me. My favourite character at the time was Murasa, who was portrayed as this badass ghost pirate captain who was very confident. She had a pretty depressing backstory too, but it wasn't given much detail thus that one story I wrote up about her history. This story serves to teach Nue that no she is not alone, and she doesn't have to feel like an outcast among the cast herd she is associated with. Murasa though I don't see what she learns or how she becomes better by being friends or more with Nue. It again, feels one-sided. Nue doesn't really touch upon any of Murasa's backstory or anything like that. They just happened to know one another. Also the game that came out right after introduced this buddy of Nue's from the outside with a similar ability where they have trickster pranks together and all, and sort of killed the illusion that Nue would ever be insecure to need friends that badly, or whatever. I dunno. I don't know what to think about it, lol.

Of course, moving beyond that I began to like MokoKene. Or KeneMoko. Again a similar OTP to KazuSayo. One person is SUPER LONELY. This person, Mokou, has done something to give herself immortality that causes her to be ostracized by society since she never seems to grow old, so she becomes increasingly withdrawn and a hermit to society. She does this for a thousand years or so. (This is getting absurd, isn't it? Lol. SPOTTO IS SO LONELY, SHE ONLY IDENTIFIES WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE ALONE FOR ABSURD AMOUNTS OF TIME) Of course unlike Sayo Mokou actually does go about killing a whole bunch of people, but moving on we come to Keine, a half-youkai whose character is the basis for the initial conflict between humans and youkai. The perspective of a half-youkai is most unique. (Though Keine is only really a youkai once a month since she is a WERE-hakutaku, so... ) anyway Keine has more of a human-leaning view than a youkai view despite her affliction. Mokou is someone though technically a human, her behaviour over the years and her own immortality makes her out to be more like a youkai if you think about it, but Mokou's first friend after many centuries ends up being Keine. I think there's something truly heartwarming when the protagonists need to go attack Mokou and despite Mokou being INVINCIBLE, Keine still goes out of her way to try to protect her and lead the protagonists away anyway. Keine gets beat up and they go for Mokou despite her efforts. She did this at first to protect the village earlier in the game, but near the end of the game the only reason she fights the protagonists again is solely for Mokou. It's sweet, isn't it?

This spawned a ridiculous amount of the most adorable fanworks I have ever seen. KeneMoko is a fairly popular pairing in Touhou, especially when you consider harem lead Marisa isn't part of it, nor does it involve any other protagonist that usually manages a harem of their own. The characters themselves haven't really been that relevant for several years either, until recently when Mokou showed up in a fighting game and some outsider they introduced Mokou ends up befriending and let's move on from that. Keine is especially irrelevant at this time though, haven't not appeared in anything with any significance since pretty much after her first appearance. Sigh. Well that's how it goes I suppose. It's the same with Murasa too. Not all too relevant now.

So I moved on to the last one I'm gonna mention from Touhou. It's relatively recent, so give me a moment. For the last few I kept sticking with this one lonely character who needed a friend. Or a dog, I guess if you really think about it, but for AyaSanae, this time the character, Aya, was not someone who was well, lonely. Her traditional characterization is usually this confident journalist who will do anything to get a good story, no matter how immoral it might be. At first this portrayal was more prevalent in fanworks, seeing as it was a funny exaggeration for the cast's only media representative, but the creator very quickly adopted a similar portrayal himself, so Aya sort of became a caricature of her initial characterization. I don't know either. Anyway, in-universe she was not the most popular person in the world. All of her mainline ships didn't really serve to improve Aya as a character, as Aya was usually the dominant member and would boss around the character paired to her. I hated that. It took me a long time to really look at Aya as a character I would bother liking. Like, who cares? She's not the role model Kazumi was and she has no qualms about how to achieve what she needs in her career, and she isn't lonely at all!

...or is she?

AyaSanae, a rarepair came along and it came with a very refreshing take on Aya. While yes, Aya isn't exactly human (but we keep applying human-like qualities on values on all the other youkai and non-human species of Touhou anyway, fanworks!) she's not really a well-rounded character with any depth to her motivations. Like why is she a journalist? Why because her crow tengu species are all avid reporters too! Well that doesn't make Aya particularly unique even if she is the most notable of the group. Still, as someone with a friendship complex I can't really swallow that Aya doesn't resent in some way that she may not be popular or have any friends. The character most associated to her in canon, Momiji, canonically hates her or at least has a very strong personal feud with Aya. Aya's other character most strongly associated to her is Hatate, who is just another crow tengu journalist meant to be a rival that makes Aya look like the best tengu around. It's not really all too reassuring. But in comes Sanae, an OUTSIDER with a unique perspective who believe or not, when this ship is portrayed, makes Aya a BETTER PERSON.

THAT'S ALL I EVER ASKED FOR!

So how this all works is that Aya seems to fancy Sanae for whatever reason. I dunno. Figure it out yourself. The point is, Aya feels she can't really approach Sanae properly in that kind of manner because most of her relationships to people are strictly business. Not only that but Sanae is a human and that may look badly on human-youkai relations due to Sanae being involved with the goddesses who sort of want to take over the mountain for their faith which is also where the tengu all live and take claim to. It's a bit of a mess, is it not? There's some agreement in place for both of them to co-exist on the mountain, but it's just not good for tensions if most notable tengu and priestess responsible for spreading faith get together, is all I'm saying.

Yet thanks to fanworks bending canon rules, Aya's acquaintances who are more like close friends in this universe encourage Aya to go after Sanae. Sanae's goddesses want her to be close to Aya too, so they can improve goddess-tengu relations, and if they're friends that'd be good or whatever. So Aya gives Sanae a tour but Sanae doesn't really like Aya because who actually likes Aya, I mean c'mon. Then over time we run into Sanae's own issues of adapting into Gensokyan society, since she came from the outside where she had a normal (sorta) life at school with friends and modern technology, and now has no real peers here and has a completely different life with completely different technology, like magic! Aya comforts her in her very own youkai-like way, in that she hasn't much to say because she can't possibly understand, so she just pops out her wings and envelops Sanae in it. Give her some physical comfort. It's all Sanae needed... and for once, this relationship doesn't start off one-sided or stay that way, anyway. The two help one another. Sanae to adapt, and Aya to be better.

Because unlike Aya's more popular pairs, she's not bossing Sanae around and Sanae is devoted to her anyway for no real reason. Sanae makes Aya second-guess herself, makes her flustered. Sanae's go-for-it attitude and eccentricity is unpredictable to Aya. Every time Aya thinks she has control of the situation, Sanae surprises her. I can't really go into much depth about these two because they are a rarepair and everything I mentioned came from one very talented doujinshi artist, but this person (man? idk) singlehandedly not only made me like this ship, but like Aya! But anyway, Sanae's existence humbles Aya and gives her this sort of humanity and empathy she was sort of lacking, that made her more relatable. But this still wasn't to the level of give and receive I was hoping for, but the farthest I've found so far. Though Aya provided Sanae opportunity to adapt and supported her, I don't see Sanae as a character improving, but she does get a friend and acclaimed to Gensokyo and maybe her own character doesn't really need improving because she isn't as obviously flawed as Aya. Who knows! Still, it's the closest yet.

Potential for such a thing came from this next series, one very not-subtle about what they're trying to achieve with the show since it's titled as Friendship is Magic. MLP.

It took me a while to find a character to like actually. I most related to Fluttershy at the time, but my values were a lot closer to Pinkie Pie's. So I was like "wait, why not just put them together!" which was something somewhat possible due to their interactions in the most innocent of times that was season one. In one of the earliest episodes, Pinkie Pie defended Fluttershy's sensitivity, and kept her and Rainbow Dash (who has known her for years mind you) from pranking her. When Pinkie saw Fluttershy being bullied, she came up with a plan to get the bully back. When Fluttershy needed courage to jump over the chasm in Dragonfly, Pinkie's song encouraged her enough to go over. Not her other friends who were clearly exasperated (especially RD) about her keeping them from progressing very far. Pinkie kept her positivity up and supported Fluttershy wholeheartedly, no hard feelings whatsoever. Then several episodes down the line, for some reason Fluttershy despite being the shiest, most timid of them all, was so happy Pinkie was okay when she went missing (and was most worried for her as well) she jump-tackled Pinkie to the ground the moment she saw her. This would seem out-of-character if we didn't note all these things Pinkie did for her earlier. I thought a lovely cute little friendship was happening. It was one-sided though, but it was blossoming.

Then the most innocent of times concluded. One flaw of Pinkie Pie the writers began to make more and more apparent was her...insensitivity? Which I thought was quite odd because it seemed like she grasped this concept pretty well in season one. I suppose that same episode Fluttershy glomped her in she did start a war with her insensitivity with her not-very-good (rather unusual for Pinkie) song to make sure the ponies and the buffalo could get along. Maybe it was a botched attempt at humour, I'm not sure. Anyway Pinkie seemed to lose this concept and probably unintentionally made the whole Luna situation in Luna Eclipsed worse, then her sense of reality or how other ponies felt dwindled quite rapidly, like in the Friend In Deed episode where she could not grasp Cranky's need for her to leave him alone, if only because Pinkie is SO desperate to make him a friend and doesn't care, or just doesn't understand. Then there's that one episode about the cake she was protecting that was all kinds of wtf in terms of friendship, so let's not go there.

Then of course Pinkie realized with such clairvoyance how her own clones were terrorizing the town in the season three episode. I'm inclined to believe Pinkie didn't realize how overbearing she was until she saw several dozen copies of her acting in the most one-dimensional way possible. Finally in season four despite being one of the strongest Pinkie Pie seasons to date (there is a lot of "I realize I am in the wrong and can see you are unhappy and understand your sensitivity" in Pinkie Apple Pie and Pinkie Pride respectively, maybe even Maud Pie!") we had... Filli Vanilli.

I have spoken so much about this episode, but it really slammed on the pedal and floored it when I was already in the wild wide and hoping to any higher power of existence who could hear me to let us slow down. She was NOTHING like this in season one, and here she is making Fluttershy cry with the most obvious, over-the-top cries, sobs, and wails I have seen and somehow Pinkie cannot see what she is doing that is wrong? I just do not understand how people defend Pinkie in this episode, I can't. It was finally here that I realized the old vision of PinkieShy where Pinkie is the one who can help Fluttershy become bolder and closer was wrong. Or at least, only part of it. If the canon is going to run off with this type of characterization, Fluttershy is the one who needs to make PINKIE the better person! If both parts of what I see does happen, then yes this would be the first time the relationship will be pretty evenly-sided, where they help one another.

I mean Pinkie has her insecurities! Her most infamous episode had her breakdown believing her friends no longer wanted to be with her, and she clearly is very clingy to the friends she has despite having more than anyone. I can relate to that! But despite my idea of the two helping one another, over the years and seasons Fluttershy never needed Pinkie to become more assertive or bold. She did that on her own, through many situations with many friends including her animals friends, and Pinkie wasn't there to support her with as much presence as I hoped. It's like Fluttershy became better and didn't need Pinkie at all. It became a one-sided affair once again. I was so frustrated with this pair that had so much potential in season one. I really thought if the two were close friends it'd be a really heartwarming kind of thing. Two people so very different, with different ideals, but both sharing this same kind of sensitivity, both understanding one another. It would be the closest thing to the ideal pair I have seen, but the engine barely started before the car broke down entirely. An introvert and an extrovert who can both understand what it is like to be an introvert and an extrovert. I really wish this concept was explored.

In what i call a bit too little too late, an episode finally popped up that actually featured the two together though they still shared their conflict with Rainbow Dash and Applejack. There was great pressure to do well in a sporting competition, and surprisingly both Fluttershy and Pinkie buckled under this pressure. At first Pinkie buckling is more surprising, but after Fluttershy's character development you sort of don't see it coming either. Regardless Fluttershy is the first to burst about this towards RD and AJ, and is the one to bring up the problem that paves the way to the well-rounded perfect solution MLP likes to do. Meanwhile Pinkie becomes withdrawn under this pressure, and is the one who is unable to let RD and AJ know what she feels. She actually seems like the more sensitive one of the two! For whatever reason this made the two of them feel like they have a lot more depth than before, but this aspect of the two characters hasn't been explored since, and I'm not really expecting a Pinkie and Fluttershy episode actually focused on only those two anytime soon. :\ 

So if a show literally titled Friendship is Magic wasn't the way, what was?

I found a show called RWBY. The title of the show is the first letter of each protagonist who are paired into a group. Their goal is to go to school to learn to fight monsters, and then fight monsters with that group for the rest of the foreseeable future. Or at least in school, but from the existence of teams that existed well beyond school I'm thinking that is not the case. Anyway we are given tidbits of some background information on these four characters, and they get thrown into the school to learn to work together to defeat the monsters and subsequently become better huntresses and people as a result! I watched a trailer called the White Trailer. It had this character who exemplified all these feelings I've had in my entire life, though the lyrics weren't particularly subtle about it. This beautiful girl, who could get hit in the face and get a RAD SCAR despite her beauty, was all sad and lonely. She is entirely by herself in the trailer and only fights this construct which isn't even technically alive. I felt sympathy for her and loved the music and animation of the trailer. I knew she'd be my favourite character immediately, but in the large scheme of things she was sort of fitting my stereotypical pattern of favourites.

Until she opened her mouth in the series itself.

THIS IS AN ALPHA FEMALE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

But yet, I still loved her.

Why?

Weiss Schnee was this type of person I had conflict with so many times in my life, but I never really saw these people's own perspectives. I had such negative interactions with them, or at least my friendship with them always ended poorly that I never really saw it from their side or understood who these people were. Weiss was like, someone who guarded herself deeply and had a lot of issues inside, and she did it by being bossy and mean. It took her a while to accept those around her, but it also didn't take her long to change herself or see that she had to be supportive if she wanted to keep these people around, these friends. She learned pretty quick actually, so her first impression wasn't really all that significant in the large scheme of things. Seeing her White Trailer and then how she acted I knew right away Weiss wasn't actually like this at all, and unlike a lot of people became intrigued with who she was and what she'd become because of it. Because we already knew there was something about her that didn't match how she behaved.

At first I followed the crowd and shipped her with whoever was most commonly shipped with her, but this was a young show, so anything could change. And change it did because the core of the plot for much of the first three seasons was the conflict between the White Fang and well, everyone else, but mostly the Schnee Dust Corp since they're the ones that led the White Fang to their reputations and extreme beliefs to this day. The person on the side of the White Fang, or at least formerly and with a lot of faunus baggage left in? Blake. And it seemed like Weiss and Blake were very integral to the plot for a lot of these reasons. Well mostly Blake for plot and Weiss for character development, but you get the idea. Weiss needed to shake off her racist upbringing if she was to keep these comrades of hers by her side and for them to become an expert, efficient team of huntresses. This included even accepting the former terrorist group member with an endless amount of issues, Blake. Weiss really came to her own as a character over these episodes, and it even seemed Blake was turning a leaf as well, willing to let people into her life despite having been closed off for years in fear of discrimination and conviction! 

Then of course all the shit happened and it turned into Naruto. Where nobody graduates, the group breaks up, and the broodiest, angstiest person runs away. I guess since this show isn't blatantly titled FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC I can't expect it to focus on friendship as the core theme of the show, but I had assumed so anyway because of the title of the show and the premise, that these four girls of vastly different background and history must come together and fight monsters. The fact that Weiss and Blake had all this conflict to get over, and all these scenes where they were helping one another, Weiss forgiving Blake for running off with her problems, Weiss trying to force Blake to talk about her problems to the group, Blake choosing Weiss over the White Fang when they were about to kill her, finally letting go of her criminal past and what really needed to be done, to the point that by season three they were amiably having a tea and coffee date with one another. They were willing to spend time with each other outside of training, outside of arguing about their vastly different upbringings and opinions and were friends THAT HELPED ONE ANOTHER BECOME BETTER PEOPLE.

But instead shit hit the fan.

Weiss let go of her racist ways and accepted how poorly faunus were treated. She became nicer, and more supportive as a result. Blake let people into her life more often, began to trust more, and these people who should be enemies at any other time are not. That's heartwarming. That's beautiful. That's friendship! Heck, even beyond! This is the greatest potential for the greatest ship I have ever seen, but of course, of course, this show has decided writing as a priority is like fifth fiddle to things like adding more characters than necessary in every season and not bothering to develop any existing ones, killing random characters off for shock value, and putting more stock into developing side characters and minor characters over the main characters while ignoring and writing out the interpersonal relationships and interactions I watched the show for AMONG THE FOUR GIRLS. They had it! They had in right in their palms and tossed it right over a cliff! THEY HAD IT!

A non-one sided relationship in which two people can help one ANOTHER improve, and not only that their BACKGROUNDS improve. Fix the White Fang, fix the Schnee Corporation to get rid of all the corrupt terrorist bullshit that infects both their backgrounds and them as people. The two being together could solve them as people and SOLVE THE PLOT but it was flung off the cliff, not knowing what they had. I do not expect them to make this ship canon, but their mere friendship is all that is needed for some of the most heartwarming, wonderful, uplifting, and hopeful kinds of solution possible. This is why I like some horribly dark, twisted series a lot despite their theme because the ending of these things (such as Dangan Ronpa) is always one of hope despite all the shitty hardship and death everyone faces. And yes, RWBY is not over yet, I suppose the show too can achieve that same kind of thing, but when we had so many misprioritized plot points and focus on random one-off characters in such a large ratio of the show, the characters of team RWBY no matter their potential is shuffled to the side and in the end I don't even believe they have a friendship at all. There is no training montage where they learned those team-up moves they had in that one season two episode. It was not as if they did not have time because they had a whole plot about Jaune that did not move the plot whatsoever about his own problems I don't give one flying shit about. The solution didn't even matter because Pyrrha dies anyway. Like what the fuck? Yang goes out of her way to reveal some of her backstory to try to help out Blake from imploding inside due to her worries on White Fang activity, but I can't even believe she'd do that because when Blake and Weiss were arguing in season one and Blake ran off, Yang did absolutely nothing. What changed there? Was there some moment of bonding they had that made them closer so Yang would do such a thing? No because they wasted time doing pointless shit that did not improve on the relationships of these characters at all.

Blake had to resort to random faunus monkey dude to support her in that episode, and now he's the only one doing it which is troubling. If they were to be friends then it would be Weiss, Ruby, and Yang that would help her get past what her issues now especially since what Blake is going through affects her team the most, especially Weiss, but most especially Yang because she lost an entire arm trying to help Blake and Blake instead of accepting this traumatic support or helping her friend instead just runs away and leaves them to be,. But this random faunus monkey dude can totally follow her around. That's okay! Is it because he is a faunus? IS THAT THE ONLY REASON!? Ruby is so preoccupied by defeating the enemy themselves she never considers say, staying home to support her most traumatized sister a little longer, or trying to find Weiss or Blake. It's investigate what happened to Beacon, fuck my friends. Yang understandably is too shaken up to do anything for some time, so she is forgiven, but Weiss cannot even leave her father's side. She is stuck there, so she is also forgiven for not reuniting with her friends. But why bother when no one comes after her, and her final conclusion after escaping her father is to find her sister? She clearly doesn't believe they are worthy to seek out and only her sister can support her, and who can blame her!? Fuck her friends! There is no female friendship in RWBY and that's a fucking disgrace. They have no idea how to develop it whatsoever and instead develop male-female friendships that aren't even friendships because EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAS ROMANTIC SUBTEXT. DOES FRIENDSHIP MEAN ANYTHING TO THIS SERIES AT ALL!? WHAT THE FUCK. Penny and Pyrrha were amazing supportive friends! EXCEPT THEY DIED. OKAY. AWESOME.

It was the most promising and it crashed hard, into a trainwreck that was so bad I finally looked away from it. Yeah the action, choreography was great, but that's not what keeps me watching a series. That's not draws me to a series. It's the female friendship I so long to watch. It's why of everything that has been recommended to me in the past few years Little Witch Academia is on the top of the list because I don't see any of these themes in all the other mystery, comedy, actiony things people recommend me. Maybe I'll give it a chance, but I just feel so cynical after RWBY, that I had to write a giant story to fix this severe problem. That I'd rather just play video games and give up watching stuff forever than to put in hope for what I like to see in stories. It's why I'm so apprehensive with starting anything and would stick to the same series and franchises I have trust in over and over again. And it's because of my friendship issues throughout my entire life that I'm stuck with such a specific kind of theme I really want to watch, and see done well. Maybe I just want validation? I don't know. 

Things like Touhou and Overwatch where everything does not hang on one cohesive story is a lot more approachable than some anime or cartoon people recommend. Since the story is not released all at once and speculation is rampant, plus we can always enjoy them both in other words like actually playing the game or listening  to music, it doesn't depend entirely on what canon says. I really like Mercymaker in Overwatch for the potential of Mercy being one of the few people that can help Widowmaker recover. Also it's hot, but that's irrelevant. It's extremely one-sided though because I do not see Mercy benefiting as a person helping Widowmaker, merely doing what she usually does that she has devoted her life to, but it follows the pattern of the kind of pairing I like. Anyway despite that there's not a lot of canon to back this up, it's just an idea and the fans power these ideas. Most likely due to the story being all over the place and with so many other characters this ship is free to be as large as the imagination desires. There's a chance something will come around to throw it off, but due to the nature of these series I can usually ignore it.

One final last thing I forgot to mention in quite possibly one of the largest rants i have written of everything ever, is that I also had a friend in between Beyblade and Negima, a fandom friend when I was into B-Daman briefly. We made up a lot of story and artwork through our roleplays and I spent a ridiculous amount of time with this girl. Sadly she drifted away eventually, so I couldn't think of anyway to put her in this rant since I mentioned so many of my other friends. Still, i do wonder how she is doing and if she is okay because when I met her she was going through some difficult times. I have no real way to contact her but I hope she's doing well.

Ultimately, friendship is hard. True friends are the few that stick by your side unconditionally, and most people have no idea how to depict the kind of friendship I'm looking for in media. At least of those I've seen, but RWBY has dampened my spirits to the point that I can't be bothered anyway. Just gotta stick with what I already have and cherish who are still around. Thank you my friends. Even if we drift away someday, I am glad you were around when you were. And it's definitely true that a lot of us will not know what we are missing when people are gone. I probably still have a bit of a friendship complex, but throughout all of this I went from this positive outgoing person who really wanted lots of friends to an introvert who would rather stay inside and sleep all day. I do still want to have friends, but I don't have the effort anymore. And I know a lot of people are like this too, but even if they don't talk to me everyday or even every week, when we finally do speak again we can pick off where we left off, like time does not affect our friendship at all, and that's the best feeling to have. We're all adults now anyway. Responsibilities take up our time, but still that doesn't mean drifting away is something that is guaranteed. 

This has been Spotto, and I have revealed quite a bit. Adios!
spotto: (koi)
It seems I haven't done a Tohosort in a little over a year-and-a-half. I thought "What the hey" and spent some time doing one last night. And by doing one I mean "redo it three times" after pausing partway through because I fucked up somewhere, even though the fuckup would likely be somewhere in the 20-30 range and wouldn't really matter in the long run. "Oh' I say, it's because I tied "X" with "Y" and I like X better than Z, but not Y better than Z! But because X = Y, Y is now > Z! This cannot be. I had this issue so often because sometimes I'd do something like X > A, B, and C and then I realized I put Y higher than X and thus all three of A, B, and C! I mean yes I do like Y better than X, but for Y to out class so many others (usually a cast herd) is absurd!
 
Like why am I perfectionist about this? It's a goddamn popularity list of a bunch of fictional youkai girls. Like what. WHO FUCKING CARES. It is 2017 and I was wasting such time like that, but that's just what I do ...
 
Anyway after I finally finished doing something like that I decided to compare it to old tohosorts. Just the sort of logical thing to do, right? Compare with EVERY OTHER TOHOSORT I'VE EVER DID. And the patterns always fascinate me. They fascinate me because Touhou is the single fandom where I have no loyalty to anyone at all. My favourite character a year ago is not my favourite today. My favourite character six years ago may be my fifteenth favourite character today. The flavour cycles. My tastes change. I find interest in someone else. Because this cast is so large and this lore is so vast, I always suddenly discover, "hey this previously unappreciated character is fascinating!!" I dive into their lore and fanon, and the rest is history.
 
So as you can see in the latest Tohosort, another earth-shattering change has occurred. That's right! Parsee is in my top ten!! GASP! No but really, Aya is number one at the moment. Who foresaw fucking that? I even went back and checked where she was in my other Tohosorts just to see how much I gave a damn about this bird some years back. She was always below 20 for the longest of times. Once she was below 40-something, outside the cut-off point of the chart I decided to save. I deemed her uninteresting enough she wasn't worth showing up in the popularity contest at all at one point. And now she is NUMBER FUCKING ONE.
 
Have some numbers:
 
Aya
25th/26th/35th/42nd+/29th/28th/21st/18th/3rd/1st
 
In contrast here's an old favourite:
 
Murasa
2nd/1st/1st/1st/3rd/5th/12th/8th/11th/20th
 
Madness.
 
Now this contrast is not some random name I pulled out of my hat. I could have compared her to Koishi or something, but that's rather pointless and boring. Because Koishi has never left my ton ten ever, so it's not like such consistent numbers really amount to anything when it comes to such drastic changes like these two characters. KOISHI IS AMAZING OKAY. I loved her before she was cool. B) . I could have also compared her to Keine who had a similar kind of ascension, but again not to the absolute ridiculous extent of Aya. She literally came out of nowhere. Like what the fuck?
 
I can't very well explain how this came to be, but what I can explain is the relevance of this comparison. You see, Murasa's drop is directly correlated with Aya's rise. You know why? Because they have a few similarities. Sure they're both fourth stage bosses at some point and have short black hair, but my point here is a point I've may many-a-time on this blog. Many-a-time I mean that annoying tiny nitpicky issue I have with something that is normally incredibly petty and nonessential, but I make such a big deal of it every time it's brought up anybody reading the post would probably want to drive to my house and shoot me in the face if I dared say another word kind of thing. You know, like my Filli Vanilli issue. I rant about that all the time. The rant is usually the same every time. I do nothing to contribute to fixing that problem at all. I JUST COMPLAIN. That's the same issue here.
 
See, once upon a time I learned that Murasa's shorts ... was a skirt. It may have looked like shorts and some artists may have interpreted it as shorts, but officially as ZUN had said in some random interview about UFO probably, it was a skirt.
 
Truly, such a small tiny thing angered my very soul. Design 101! I declared! Her design was boring enough as it was. It was white. It had a sailor's uniform. The skirt was long and impractical for what she did. It was really plain. Her outfit as a whole was plain as fuck. NOTHING ABOUT HER DESIGN STOOD OUT. I thought "Well gee willikers no wonder she's such an unpopular character!" It does not matter how gimmicky your danmaku is if your design is terrible! But the one redeeming factor in my eyes were the shorts. No one really wears shorts. I guess Wriggle wears pants, but that was like years ago. And Mokou too, but same game! If Murasa wore shorts, the entire bland design would be forgiven. She'd finally have a piece of apparel unique to the population of Gensokyo. "Finally!" I'd say, "There are no frills! There is no skirt! She may look like an ordinary sailor, but it stands out in the fantastical world of Touhou!" And I would bask in such originality, and people would depict her as a more tomboyish character because of her clothes! Because goddamnit how else are you going to draw a character from blank states like Touhou characters, especially those too unimportant to have plot relevance in any other game or manga again? I GRASPED AT THE STRAWS AND CLUNG ONTO THEM FOR AS LONG AS I POSSIBLY COULD!
 
But canonically, it's a skirt. APPARENTLY A GODDAMN SKIRT
 
Touhou has no ships. It has no romance. There are no ships to sink. THIS IS THE CLOSEST THING THEY COULD SINK, THIS SHIP RIGHT HERE. MURASAXSHORTS, SUNK FASTER THAN MURASA HERSELF CAN USE HER ABILITY! THE ONE SHIP THAT MUST NEVER BE SUNK, THE ONE MURASA RODE ON AS HER ONLY GODDAMN POTENTIAL. MOTHERFUCKING SUNK.
 
And so the ship sunk, nosediving to the bottom of the ocean just like my interest in Murasa. Did I truly like Murasa for Murasa? Or was I only in love with her imaginary, noncanon shorts? Shorts that never was. Never to be. Potential dashed.
 
Anyway, with that hope crushed into infinity, years later I found interest in one Aya Shameimaru. No she doesn't wear shorts. I liked Aya for Aya! Though her design is great too, I found solace in the fact that occasionally she isn't depicted as the soulless unsympathetic hack that manipulated people for her sensationalized bundle of ink and paper. I mean she's probably partially that, but y'know with a cast of only females comes with a fandom of horny males, so that depiction can be pushed further to near voyeurism. Where panties becomes the holy grail of a news story to a crow tengu. I don't know either. But I got sick and tired of that same old shallow characterization popping up over and over again, and thus never saw Aya for Aya, only the sensationalized bundle of ink and paper the fandom liked to depict her as.
 
Every character suffers from that, absolutely all of them. It can take some time to see the diamond in the rough, so to say.
 
Also her music is great, but that's usually the case for the entire cast, so... Anyway, to keep things short, or shorter rather, I lied earlier! Aya DOES wear shorts! No, not her usual outfit, but in Gensokyo whenever you want to pretend to be a human, you just gotta dress really fancily and trendy. SO like, not diapers on heads or gothic lolita fashion but actual sane fashion a human would actually wear. In Mamizou's case she wore an awesome scarf, grew out her hair, and basically looked infinitely better than her ragtag youkai look. In Aya's case, she dressed up like a stereotypical newsboy who would hand out papers shouting "EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!"
 
I being the very diligent person, went through real canon Touhou work (this being Forbidden Scrollery) to not only verify my sources, but to see if the rumoured SUSPENDERS showed up on this outfit as well. I found only one panel where Aya was not guarding her undershirt as if the very secrets of the tengu themselves were hidden under there, and there was a line. The line COULD be suspenders. IT may not be, though suspenders are the most likely article of clothing. All I can really determine from all this is that the fashion in the Human Village is much further along than the Outside World, and the people out here need to step-the-fuck-up, because hot damn.
 
if you don't wEAR SHORTS that isI am not saying at all the very idea Aya wore shorts that one time (and potentially suspenders!1) caused her to become first, not at all. It may have contributed slightly, but I found this contrast rather intriguing. That the one character I assumed would make sense as a sort of androgynous type of character due to her official outfit, never wore such a thing at all! And the other character who I never even considered for such a part would choose such a disguise one day. Why that disguise? It's sort of Western-looking is it not? Though I guess, what else would scream out "THIS PERSON IS OBVIOUSLY A JOURNALIST" than such an outfit? But then why did she choose newsboy? It's not as if Mamizou's, Kosuzu's, or Akyuu's clothing are similar. Well anyway I'm not here to decipher such things, only to sit in wonderment of how this fucking tengu stole my heart recently.
 
Like I don't actually know. I don't know what changed. Do I just like Keine and Miko less? I guess? Maybe? AyaSanae did help quite a bunch, what a wonderful rarepair. But you know maybe I do know. I played some Sims recently and made Madoka Magica Sims. I was playing through a planned scenario that involved a lot of death, murder, homelessness, and zombies. Aya became relevant in Act 3. In fact she became VERY relevant in Act 3, and the way I weaved that story about made her a very awesome character indeed. I thought to myself as I came up with the inspired plot, that Aya was quite the bro. Which is an odd thing to say because Aya's characterization is usually the opposite of a "bro". She would never be nice for no real reason. There are always ulterior motives. ALWAYS!
 
But coming up with the ulterior motive for her to be so nice made her so fascinating in my eyes. I thought, "Dang, this is the potential of Aya as a character" and never really thought about it until now. It reminded me of this old Touhou comic I read when I first got into the fandom, t'was a Youmu comic. I remember a fairly badass portrayal of Aya there. I thought "Wow, I really like this Aya person. They're such a bro!" And that was the last time I thought of Aya like that because fandom is a bitch. And that in itself reminded me of an old nostalgic favourite I had long, long ago, ten years in fact. She too was a journalist, and she too was far too nice for no real reason, but sometimes she had ulterior motives or at least personal motives, and was not simply doing a favour just because. At one point, that character was a wildcard in a very dangerous, climatic situation where she could have been on the bad guys' side, but then suddenly wasn't. Because well, what fulfilled her goals more? Neutral parties that do things because they benefit themselves and it's not in an overly ambitious cartoonishly evil way (because most neutral parties end up being BACKSTABBING TRAITORY PARTIES INSTEAD!) is something I don't often see in fiction enough. Or maybe I just need to experience more fiction since I like limiting myself to very few. (This is due to time-management and addiction reasons.)
 
If I ever get motivated enough to post that Sims scenario on my Sims blog, you may realize the full context of my explanation. 
 
Anyway I gave myself a 30 minute time limit to write this and spent an hour instead because ... I was supposed to go to sleep, so this is a good a place as any to end this. I hope this blog enjoys the slight amount of activity, and anyone floating around in the headlights and tumbleweeds may someday stumble upon this to read it. Until then, adios! This has been Spotto.
spotto: (Sooooolo)
There's an artist on Tumblr who I admire, and who has quite possibly the best sense of humour there is. Unfortunately our opinions don't always align, and she seems extra-sensitive to racial issues like Tumblr is sometimes infamous for. I can't comment on anything not involving my own race for chance of ignorance, but as someone who is Chinese I was a little miffed that despite a large post rebuking an incredibly stupid post written by someone who thought even speaking Chinese when one is not natively Chinese is somehow offensive, apparently Mercy wearing an outfit with Chinese patterns or Widowmaker in a Qipao on just her spray is something they are uncomfortable with.
 
They might have a small beef if they themselves were Chinese, but they're not.
 
White people who get offended for other people's cultures/race piss me off to no end. Especially those who hold the opinion that no matter what people think of or say they cannot possibly be racist against white people because of privilege or whatever, which also pisses me off. That's like holding other cultures/races on a pedestal and making it more "sacred/exotic" compared to white culture simply because they have a history of oppressing minorities. It's still treating us differently as if we're an alien species as opposed to different yet equal. In the end any issue that comes down to racism or cultural appropriation is most likely a case-by-case basis, and never something starkly black and white. To assume so would be almost like generalizing any minority into one melting pot of people compared to white people. Also anytime someone even mentions white people it's always Americans or something and never like, Eastern Europeans who also are pale-skinned and have had a history of being oppressed as well. What about Africans who are white, or are we to assume if they aren't dark skinned they aren't African? This always made the term "African-American" nonsensical to me, because if someone from say Northern Africa who may look tanned at most or someone with white skin from South Africa immigrated to America, what do they call themselves? No one would take them seriously because African-American is ingrained within their minds as black so much that they'd end up just calling the person using the term racist or ignorant. 
 
In other words these "white knights" who try to be allies express some internalized racism without even knowing, without ever acknowledging it. It just pisses me off. It reminds me of a layman trying to correct someone on some topic and talking over the expert who could explain and express everything much more sincerely and accurately. If there isn't someone or even a group of people of that specific race bringing up the issue, what is the issue? Unless there is literally a tiny population of the people, most cultures and races do not need a white ambassador to lecture all the other internet people what is politically correct and what isn't. 
spotto: (@_@)
Yes. SDR2 Spoilers. blahblahblah.

In My Little Pony there is a ship I have that I have many mixed feelings towards. I ultimately ship it, but it has always frustrated me how despite their status as main characters and friends that they had very little interaction throughout the show and any that did surface would often be a negative one. That's right, Pinkie and Fluttershy, always be making one another cry or one another uncomfortable, insensitivity ruining things for the highly-sensitive despite that wonderful episode early on where it looked like Pinkie was rather protective and considerate of Fluttershy's feelings, that led to that season showcasing how much Pinkie cared, encouraging Fluttershy to leap over the chasm in Dragonshy through song when everyone else was annoyed at how much of a load she was. When Fluttershy became so concerned that Pinkie went missing she leap-hugged her out of nowhere which would have been out-of-character any other day, any other episode and these lovely small moments disappearing into the winds, as writers came and went and characterization developed so...~

In Danganronpa there is a ship I try to have but have far too many mixed feelings towards. I don't ultimately ship it despite trying so hard to, though my thoughts are turning towards maybe trying once more. Why do I mention it here in the middle of what seems like a My Little Pony rant? Why because I always compare this ship to PinkieShy due to the two characters being somewhat similar to them. If I do not ship this ship I pretty much have nothing to ship in DR, which is why I really want this to work, yet unlike Pinkie and Fluttershy these characters though also friends and in the same clique, mostly have negative interactions when they show up. Not something minor and forgivable like making one another cry either, but literal murder.

Yep.

Now before you bite my head off, the context is VERY important and in fact the murder itself isn't even the problematic portion that bothers me to the point of not shipping it. The circumstances that lead Mikan to murdering Ibuki is pretty longwinded and occasionally ridiculous, but the entire cast of SDR2 are all parts of the Remnants of Despair, a terrorist cultist group following the ways of Junko who is basically Satan Incarnate after falling to her manipulative wiles/brainwashing. SDR2's biggest twist (or one of anyway) is that it turns out it's all a simulation to try to rehabilitate the cast so they lose their memories of being Despair, and go through a fun school trip where they bond and have positive memories that can return them to the happy pure selves they were of before. When Ibuki was murdered, a Despair disease made up by the mastermind and antagonist mascot of the series, Monokuma, caused a few of the characters to act very differently from their normal selves. Ibuki was given the gullible disease and Mikan the remembering disease. Mikan regained her memories of being a depraved horrific monster who will spread Despair at any cost for the sake of Junko, her love, and so she picked out the most vulnerable character to off who happened to be Ibuki. 

I have no problems with that.

But before Mikan was despair, she was already a very broken individual. She had a very horrific past and upbringing. People regularly bullied her and called her trash, they would physically abuse her like putting out cigarette butts onto her skin, or using her as a writing pad when none was around. They basically did not treat her as a human being, and it has been such a consistent part of her life that she has a very warped and unhealthy personality towards others. Her self-esteem is to the pits, and though she would cry if you insult her (See: Saionji) she also believes the only way she can be liked is to show off her body, take off her clothes, willingly make herself a fanservice magnet to others. She has this belief that her only worth is her physical appearance and that's the only way she can be of any value, so she does intricate things like trip very awkwardly, falling into incredibly provocative positions assuming everyone would like it. She's terrified of every little thing, super anxious and also the Super High-School Level Nurse, meaning she's incredibly talented in caring for others. It's implied she enjoys being a nurse because it's the only time she feels she has an advantage over others. The only time she is stronger than another person is if that person is very sick and weak.

Anyway Mikan is messed up.

Ibuki for a while seemed to encourage Mikan's self-destructive behaviour because she enjoys cute girls. She likes fanservice. That scene with all the girls showing up to the beach party seriously rocked her world. So many girls with large boobs! IT'S HER PARADISE! She was also one if Mikan's friends or at least they were both in the same clique in school. Now, I found Ibuki's behaviour though rather harmless in terms of intentions (after all despite Mikan's protests she truly is doing what she does on purpose technically) it preys upon Mikan's insecurities and only serves to validate Mikan's belief that her only worth and only ability to be of any use to someone is to show off her body, which is very unhealthy. So Ibuki would be enabling Mikan and therefore should they be in a relationship, it would never end well.

But the more I thought about it, the more this issue isn't as large as it seems. Ibuki acted the way she did because at the time these fanservice shots were happening, the class believed they had all just met. Ibuki has absolutely no idea of Mikan's ulterior motives when she does what she does, she can only react the way she would normally react. For whatever reason I assumed Ibuki would still react in this way as if they were good friends, which we have no indication of in the small Twilight Syndrome scenes that flashback to their friendship back in the school when they had memories. I mean it can't all be good considering they are all willingly friends with Saionji for some reason (and in fact, I theorize Saionji is ACTUALLY the reason this clique exists, as in she is the CENTER of the four/five girls. You probably think I'm crazy, but look at it like this. Mahiru has no reason to be friends with Ibuki or Mikan, nor does Mikan have reason to be friends with Ibuki, but they ALL have reasons to circle around Saionji. Saionji is the closest to Mahiru, so that's the easy one. Saionji is also the only one who enjoys Ibuki's unique brand of music that she prefers as opposed to the generic pop she's famous for, so  that obviously draws Ibuki to the group. Saionji is also the only one who gives Mikan attention. After a while Mikan's shenanigans would tire others or drive them away because most people in Hope's Peak at least in their class aren't mindless perverts... wait, what about Hanamura? What a strange plothole. 

....wait a second.

Danganronpa 3 fixed the plothole.

WAIT A SECOND.

WAIT A MOTHERFUCKING SECOND.


There's a relationship chart for Class 77 that came out for the Anime, mostly pointing out who's friends with who and such. Ibuki had no friends, but her only comment was that she found Hanamura gross. There was a scene in the Anime where she "accidentally" kicked Hanamura away when he went into horny horndog mode...

THIS IS EVIDENCE THAT IBUKI WOULD NOT STAND FOR SOMEONE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MIKAN. AND THUS MIKAN WOULD BE DRAWN TO HER CLIQUE THAT INCLUDES SAIONJI FOR SOME REASON FOR MORE THAN JUST THE SAD DEPRESSING NEED FOR ATTENTION THAT SAIONJI PROVIDES, AS NEGATIVE AND HORRIBLE AS IT WOULD BE BECAUSE IBUKI FINDS THE RESIDENT PERVERT GROSS, AND ACTIVELY STOPS HIM HERSELF. OH MY GOD.

And considering Ibuki's greatest wish in a relationship is a beautiful wholesome platonic BAND MEMBER BEST FRIEND kind of thing, she admits it in her finale in Island Mode, check her wiki entry for more info that means Ibuki's lust isn't as corrupted as I believed and Ibuki MAY ACTUALLY BE one of the few people FITTING to ship with MIKAN!

OH MY GOD. I JUST REALIZED THIS. I WAS GOING TO RANT THAT THIS SHIP WAS LIKE PINKIESHY TO THE NEGATIVE EXTREME, BUT I JUST FOUND A JUSTIFICATION THAT MAKES IT SOAR PAST PINKIESHY IN THE LIKELIHOOD AND HEALTHINESS DEPARTMENT! I MEAN IT PROBABLY HELPS THAT BOTH IBUKI AND MIKAN ARE PART OF THE LGBT SPECTRUM IN CANON, BUT HOLY CRAP.

But that just makes my love for PinkieShy even sadder. These two similar characters (kinda) with far more fucked up pasts/circumstances/traumas in a much more unforgiving universe WHEREIN ONE MURDERED THE OTHER can potentially work better as a couple than two happy technicoloured G-rated ponies. What the fuck. 

I'm so glad Buckball Season exists at least. It shows Fluttershy's development as a character and where she needs to go if shipping her with Pinkie is of any possibility, and highlights the fact that Pinkie goes through anxiety not unlike what Fluttershy often struggled with, which gives Pinkie a way to empathize with Fluttershy's plight, leading to less insensitive situations and maybe that impossible extrovert/introvert barrier can finally be crossed the more we spend with these characters. OH GREAT WRITERS OF MY LITTLE PONY, I IMPLORE THEE TO SOMEDAY GIFT US A TRUE PINKIE AND FLUTTERSHY EPISODE THAT FULLY EXPLORES THEIR FRIENDSHIP AND GIVES MORE AMMO TO SPREAD THEIR ADORABLE SHIPPING POTENTIAL WITH SO MANY OTHERS THAT DON'T COME AT THE EXPENSE OF SOMEHOW EXPLAINING AWAY OR IGNORING EPISODES LIKE PUTTING YOUR HOOF DOWN OR FILLI VANILLI. AMEN.

I mean I still shipped them, but I was well aware however their relationship may be there were a lot of unhealthy or unsavoury aspects to it. I LOVE THE POTENTIAL OF THIS SHIP,  THE SHEER CUTENESS IT COULD BRING, but the personalities clashed in ways I did not want to believe. I wanted Pinkie to open Fluttershy up to the world, for Fluttershy to show Pinkie the little things in life. The fact that they're both pink and yellow feminine colours and there isn't some clear "this character is clearly the pants in the relationship!" kind of stereotype that wracks so many same-sex ships. Fluttershy STANDING up for Pinkie in Buckball Season was very surprising, but the kind of dynamic that really could work in the rare event Pinkie is vulnerable. And Pinkie would always do her best to cheer up and make Fluttershy comfortable when she needs it. I LOVE THIS SHIP SO MUCH, but I'm also so very conflicted with what interactions exist between them in canon.

...well at least I can ship Ibuki/Mikan in peace now. 8D I'm still fond of the hilariously dark silly images depicting Mikan in the process of murdering Ibuki though... hahahaha! I swear Ibuki is my favourite. I don't understand people who immediately hate Mikan because she murdered their waifu Ibuki because she DID after all revert back to her despair!state, and it wasn't as if Mikan was the only one in such a state initially, the whole cast (almost) and Ibuki too was as well! In fact I bet you if it was despair!Mikan trying to murder despair!Ibuki, Ibuki would welcome it since being murdered brought despair which was a good thing in their eyes. That's how fucked up that situation was, seriously.

By the way the big fanfic I was regularly posting here is NOT abandoned, I'm already beyond thirty chapters at this point. My head is coming up with more idea/scenarios as to where the story will go from here, so if anyone is still curious the story lives on! 

geh

Jun. 4th, 2016 01:05 pm
spotto: (@_@)
 ..........

1. you could have used any other character to support Fluttershy, literally any other one
I mean I know it makes most sense with her because childhood friends bullshit,  but i'm sick and tired of rainbow dash and fluttershy always hanging out. You got Rarity making time for so many other ponies but Fluttershy still only hangs with fucking Rainbow Dash. I mean really? For fuck's sakes.

2. last episode was boring as fuck, but they also utilized Rarity and AJ again. Do you see what happens when you keep referring to the same fucking pairs? IT GETS BORING. Then again, the season five AJ/Rarity episode was also DULL AS DOORKNOBS so clearly write another one with the absolute weakest premise possible with the lowest stakes. Good god.

3. what was even the point of AJ and Pinkie appearing. There was literally no reason for them to be in this episode. They just said things that did nothing to advance the plot. Nor was Pinkie being comedic or AJ there to be the straight mare. THEY HAD NO PURPOSE. THEY DIDN'T GIVE HER BROTHER A JOB, SO WHY EVEN INCLUDE THEM

4. speaking of zephyr or whatever the fuck his name is... he's so unlikable it's not funny what the hell. What the hell. The INTENTION was to make us sympathize with his plight, but I JUST HE WAS SO ANNOYING HOW DO YOU EVEN TRY. Like you could have given him SOMETHING that was likable but it just kept piling up. His selfishness, his irritating personality, and he even makes Rainbow Dash uncomfortable by constantly flirting with her what the fuck. AND THAT LAST ONE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A SINGLE REPERCUSSION. MY LITTLE PONY HAS THIS TYPE OF CHARACTER IN THEIR SHOW NOW. ARE YOU FOR SERIOUS

5. so what even is fluttershy's job anyway? Is she paid to take care of animals? Seems odd she'd be the one in this role when she's the character with the least defined career of the six

6. why are her parents also fluttershy. You could have made ONE of them like her but they're both doormats. That's so uncreative I don't even. At least their designs were alright I guess. Look at Rarity's parents, tacky and embarrassing. Look at Pinkie's parents, amish and droll. I mean I guess they're more interesting than Rainbow or Twilight's parents but they're still just...good god man. Or maybe even give Fluttershy a single parent instead of two. At this rate the only one that breaks the norm is Rainbow's dad (with the least creative design possible) but since he only cameo'd a few times and we know nothing about him we can't confirm or deny anything. He may not even be her dad! He could just be a relative! THAT'S HOW LITTLE WE KNOW OF HIM! Surely MLP is bold enough to have single parents or whatever. They already killed off AJ's parents. 

7. Will I ever like a Fluttershy episode again? At this rate the answer is no.

8. That song was so sudden. I was really hoping last episode had a song to spice it up, especially that "GET MY TOOLS" part, but nope.

9. To be fair I'm not rating this episode as worst-tier. If you see my ranking list I at least prefer it over last week's insomnia-cure of an episode, but I dunno. I guess the spoiler of knowing Fluttershy even had a brother wrecked my expectations. I was hoping he'd be like adopted or a twin or maybe Fluttershy was adopted, or a half-sibling or a step-sibling or just something new to the sibling dynamics in MLP but he ended up being... a stereotypical brony. A neckbeard. A slob. There are fans who apparently relate to him in the sense that he has no real ambition thanks to a low sense of esteem and being terrified of failure, but I guess he spent too much of the episode trying to hide those flaws by being as irritating as possible that I can't seem to identify with him at all. Christ.

10. I'm going back to South Park. Next week cannot be as bad as these last two. (I already jinxed it, didn't I?)
spotto: (flutts)
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You know how I have a fucking RAINBOW DASH SHIPPING ANALYSIS POST ON HERE?

EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT SHIP RAINBOW DASH WITH MANY PONIES IF AT ALL (and those I hint at are mostly jokes/I wouldn't mind them)

WELL, THANKS TO A CERTAIN MOST RECENT EPISODE, I NOW FEEL INCLINED TO JUST WRITE UP A GIANT POST ABOUT RAINBOW DASH IN GENERAL! LIKE HER CHARACTER ARC, HER DREAM, HER BEHAVIOUR IN THE SHOW, WHAT SHE STANDS FOR AND SUCH!

FOR WHAT REASON SHOULD I PUT SO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT IN THIS WHEN SHE IS NOT EVEN MY FAVOURITE PONY? AND FUCK YOU SPELLCHECK YOU UNCANADIAN BASTARD, IT'S WITH A U~!

RAINBOW DASH ISN'T EVEN MY THIRD FAVOURITE PONY!

But her episodes have been up and down, sideways, inside-out, backwards, eviscerated, taxidermy'd, and dissected beyond all you can imagine, and I guess this single feeling where I need to express my opinion in an absolute wall-of-text outburst is causing this rant. SO HERE WE GO THEN, when I could be writing my story or fixing my story or talking about something else completely, but I guess ranting about RWBY is bad for my health at this rate, or ranting about a certain MLP episode, we might as well dedicate this post to RAINBOW DASH. Congratu-fucking-lations Rainbow Dash, you stupid pony you. You stupid inconsistent, poorly-treated, brain-exploding, unfathomable pony you. IT IS TIME. YOUR EGO, WHATEVER STATE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE NOWADAYS, SHALL BE TESTED.

Once upon a time there was a pegasus with a rainbow mane and a penchant for going fast with the childhood dream of joining the Wonderbolts. the flying horse version of the Blue Angels. In an alternate universe she was fashionable and Rarity, but here in the decent utopia that is Equestria, she is fast, she is loyal, she is athletic, she is RAINBOW DASH. She's the creator of this generation of My Little Pony's favourite! And it's actually easy to see if you take a look at season one, when Lauren Faust had full reigns of the show. After all, beyond Fall Weather Friends that eventually put equal blame to the cheating game on both Rainbow and Applejack, Rainbow Dash had a season to remember. No real moment of humiliation or embarrassment. Why, if you called Rainbow Dash awesome, it would be true. In Sonic Rainboom, she manages to save Rarity and the Wonderbolts from plummeting to her doom, simultaneously proving to the crowd that the Sonic Rainboom is not a fable at all, and the myth in fact originated from the same mare who managed the same feat as a filly! She also won the competition and was given a day to spend with the Wonderbolts.

Like dang, just call the episode THE GREATEST DAY OF RAINBOW DASH'S LIFE, why don't ya?

Then of course, in Cutie Mark Chronicles, Rainbow Dash is apparently THE PONY THAT STARTED IT ALL. Why, these Elements of Harmony would never have existed, would never have become friends, would never have come together to save the world multiple times, had it not been for the SHEER AWESOMENESS, of Rainbow Dash. Equestria as we know it would no longer exist, would be a horrible dystopia ruled by tyrants and villains alike had that Sonic Rainboom not come about. There was even a whole finale showcasing grimdark scenarios should this pony not be awesome enough to save it from its otherwise inevitable doom. Like dang, if anybody in any world, fiction or not, had any excuse to have a ginormous ego, Rainbow Dash's had the most. She is the reason the world functions at all! THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE.

And that's it. That's season one. Sure she had this Gala where she tried her utmost to get the Wonderbolt's attention and sort of ruined the Gala as a result, but she shared this shame with all her friends, which in the end was the intention of the ruler of the world, Celestia! So all is well and justified. How awesome you are, Rainbow Dash.

My next point here is rather irrelevant, but considering how much of an ego RD must have by now, I always wonder why especially in the Equestria Girls universe that everyone just pumps up RD's awesomeness. For instance in Rainbow Rocks (OF COURSE THIS MOVIE IS CALLED THIS) Sunset is trying to explain why everyone is ponying up with the mysterious Equestrian magic, and Dash explains that it happens because she is awesome. Sunset does not believe so, but still goes to the effort of reminding her that Rainbow Dash is indeed awesome regardless, like if you did not mention this it would imply that RD is not awesome and that would tear her world apart or something. SEVERAL MINUTES LATER IN THIS SAME MOVIE, Rainbow Dash sings the song "Awesome As I Wanna Be" with all spotlights and attention on her, and everyone is annoyed at this behaviour. WELL OF COURSE SHE'D ACT LIKE THIS IF YOU ENABLE HER TO. YOU ENABLE HER TO HAVE THIS EGO, AND THEN YOU TURN AROUND AND TRAMPLE ON HER FACE, ARGUING LIKE LITTLE HISSY FITS BECAUSE SHE IS SHOWCASING THE EGO YOU CAUSED!? AND THE FUNNY THING IS, WHEN SHE SINGS THIS SONG SHE STARTS PONYING UP ANYWAY. MAYBE BEING AWESOME IS WHAT CAUSES RAINBOW DASH TO BECOME AN ANTHRO! THE MOVIE SURE IMPLIES IT!

And then in season two, we had the PET episode. Why yes, this pet episode where Rainbow Dash MUST HAVE THE COOLEST, MOST AWESOME PET. And to do so, she must hold a RADICAL COMPETITION. Now a few ponies, namely Twilight, makes feeble attempts at reminding Rainbow Dash that pets are meant to have feelings and having one isn't all about a competition or sht, but Dash ignores her anyway for the show must go on. Fluttershy doesn't appear to have any issues with these animals racing through a gorge into many many hazardous traps and creatures, but whatever. Otherwise, everyone pretty much supports and ENABLES Dash's need to a cool pet. Of course thanks to Tank's very resilient existence, Rainbow Dash learns that the coolest pet isn't so much the fastest or snazziest, but in fact the one who exemplifies the greatest loyalty, matching Rainbow Dash's highest virtue. BUT WAIT, just because he is a tortoise means nothing, for we can add magic steampunk technology to allow Tank to fly anyway, so he ends up STILL BEING A PRETTY FREAKIN' COOL PET anyway, who is also loyal.

Well dang Rainbow Dash, everything's just sunshine and smiles for you, isn't it.

Do you see what is happening now? You have made Rainbow Dash too awesome. It has reached a critical point. From here on out, the job of the show is now to TEAR THIS FRONT APART. She is not awesome, she is insecure. She is not awesome, she is haughty, cocky, and arrogant! In fact aside from the whole "EVERYONE'S A JERK" problem I have with Mysterious Mare-Do-Well, the biggest reason it may be so very controversial is that it's the first time the series now has to tear down Rainbow Dash... because she is too dangerously awesome.

So now, we must rev up Rainbow Dash's cockiness a bit. She hasn't shown it much to this degree, but it isn't unbelievable for Dash to act like this. I mean, up to now her entire life has been pretty much awesome. Well, aside from maybe the whole dropping out of flight school thing and becoming a weather pony because of laziness or something. Say, whatever happened to that flaw of hers? It's like they forgot and just wanted to focus on destroying her behemoth ego that the ponies and writers around her CAUSED THEMSELVES. I find it interesting the show begins doing this the moment Lauren Faust has less and less say into the show. I mean, I'm sure she too wanted RD to have some episodes that gave her some humble pie and allowed her to come down to earth a little, but maybe not quite in this way,

In the end it's mostly about what your very subjective opinion on Mysterious Mare-Do-Well is, still, the story is pretty blunt. Her friends are fed up with her showboating, so they showboat back to teach her a lesson, and it's a pretty rough teardown. It's like instead of approaching her in some sort of intervention they just scheme and do it the underhanded way behind her back because Rainbow Dash isn't the type of pony to listen to ponies talking to her. I mean, she really isn't, but it would have been nice if the episode included a scene of them trying at least. I guess it has been established, like say in the aforementioned pet episode, that Twilight in particular tried to approach Rainbow Dash in a reasonable manner before and that did nothing.

So yes, take matters into their own hooves they did. And now Rainbow Dash has been knocked down a peg. We move on.

Ah, a reading episode. It's a TV Show, so they must remind their young viewers that books exist too! Even though Twilight is the main character, lives in a library and loves books to death, this aesop that is all over the place in many kids shows alike must be given its time of day in MLP too! Because having fun isn't hard when you have a library card! Does anyone even go to the library? What does Twilight even do? Is she even a librarian? Questions that will never have answers now that the library is sadly no more...

Anyway, it's mostly directed to kids with the attitude of being TOO COOL TO READ, and Rainbow Dash is the prime example. Now, I personally believe reading is fun and excellent and a lovely activity, and yes it's a very stereotypically nerdy activity, but in this day and age I don't know what sort of inhuman alien would look at a book and declare it's uncool without at the very least, knowing what the book is about. There's plenty of super amazing movies out there based on books that it feels the entire populace has read, so it's almost like why have this lesson at all? 

I digress.

Of course it's fine to teach Rainbow that reading is cool. In fact, having the main character basically be an RD recolour is genius, since for some people books are an outlet to the imaginary land where they can be the cool awesome hero themselves they never could be in real life because they work a dead end job and have no real aspirations or their dreams died years ago. Unfortunately Rainbow Dash is not that type of pony. She is very awesome you see, so it's actually sort of strange that she looks up to this other pony going about finding treasure and fighting this bad guy when she herself can cause sonic rainbooms by breaking sound barriers and take down villains by being herself. Ah well, it's still a good parallel to how people may take reading in real life, so it works! 

Y'know, except the part where she believes reading is so uncool, her dear closest friends must never know. And in order to not embarrass herself, or God Forbid allow Twilight to be RIGHT must break into a hospital and STEAL the book. It's like, well, what happened to awesome perfect Rainbow Dash? You already wrecked her in Mare Do Well and she already made a fool of herself in the whole town, but now Rainbow Dash resorts to, as Twilight said herself, "petty thievery". Are we done yet? Is it time to go back to those episodes that gave RD reasons to be a cocky little shit? Actually, let's  visit a not-Rainbow Dash episode, Hurricane Fluttershy.

Ah, Hurricane Fluttershy, how much I love thee. Let me list the reasons why. Or not because sadly this isn't a Hurricane Fluttershy love-post. I will note one good thing from it though, that it has a wonderful Rainbow Dash in it. I'm not sure where she learned these lessons, perhaps the tortoise as her pet was a good example, or the heavyhanded way her friends taught her to be humble in Mare-Do-Well actually worked, especially when the very episode after when she saved Rarity and Spike from certain doom she regarded it as just another job well done as opposed to making everything about herself. Or maybe over-time getting to know Fluttershy better she has understood her as a pony more. After all, it was Pinkie Pie who reminded her not to prank Fluttershy because of her sensitivity way back when, and her impatience and general rudeness to the other pegasus in Dragonshy did not make matters any better. In fact, her gung-ho method of dealing with a giant fire-breathing dragon almost had them all killed had it not been for Fluttershy.

So with all that developing out of the way we end up with Hurricane Fluttershy Rainbow Dash. Someone who almost regresses to her impatient, insensitive ways, but catches herself and does everything in her power to involve Fluttershy with the very pegasus duty to send water off to Cloudsdale. We don't want any of 'em droughts ruining cider-season after all. She is considerate and she cares. Even if all Fluttershy contributes is a measly 2.3 wingpower or whatever, she still wants her help, she still NEEDS her help. And when Fluttershy still runs off crying, she doesn't continue to goad her or bother her, after all she has a job. With every pegasus coming down with the flu she cannot even break the wingpower record, BUT NO MATTER, for the most important thing is to bring water to Cloudsdale! And she did EVERYTHING IN HER POWER, TO NEVER GIVE UP, TO NEVER SURRENDER, NEVER FORGET--oh right, to make sure at the very least they had water! It was essential! It was a necessity! She would very well know this, being a weather-pony!

And when Fluttershy does come back and does help, and they do accomplish what they do. What does Rainbow Dash do? She informs Spitfire, her Wonderbolt hero, that Fluttershy was the one who accomplished it. THAT IS AMAZING. WHAT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. THE THINGS SHE'S LEARNED HAS ACCUMULATED TO THIS!

And...it doesn't stop! It appears Rainbow Dash is not only awesome as a fast, athletic flier, but also a decent caring individual as well! It's quite the showing, I'd say. We come to season three, generally disliked amongst the fandom, but it continues the wonderful showing of Rainbow Dash. She adopts Scootaloo as an honourary sister! She is like a pupil to her, an idolized figure to the little tike. And why not? Rainbow Dash sure seems like quite the upstanding mare after all! She even somehow knew despite her earplugs and obnoxious whinny-of-a-snore to save Scootaloo from certain death quite a ways-away from the cave they were camping in! What can this pegasus NOT DO!? MY GOD!

And then...Wonderbolts Academy happened.

I love this episode. This may very well be my all-time favourite Rainbow Dash episode. It's basically the episode where Rainbow Dash shows off her character development next to a pony who she could have been had she not gone through these two and a half seasons of development. It's brilliant! That she would give up her dream if it meant being a Wonderbolt was not what she thought she'd be, someone who understood the values and integrity of friendship, of loyalty, beyond just brainless speed and reckless behaviour. Having to save all of her friends in doing so, when she was half-the-reason they could have died. It's just. THIS IS THE EPITOME OF RAINBOW DASH AND ALL SHE HAS GONE THROUGH. SHE IS AWESOME AGAIN EVERYONE! LET US PLAN A PARADE!

Well, it's time for season four. Let's return to the topic of Scootaloo. Poor, poor Scootaloo. She may never fly because well, she may have been born never being able to, but that doesn't mean she should let nasty awful evil little bullies to get to her, to depress her, to ruin her self-esteem, her dreams, her self-image. Have I mentioned Scoots is my favourite CMC? Sleepless in Ponyville is like my second favourite episode in the entire series after all, and now we've come to the rather serious Flight to the Finish. It's like Hurricane Fluttershy! Rainbow Dash, the perfect, wonderful lovely pony, a great and ideal pegasus to look up to! And here she is, reminding Scootaloo that she should not be bothered by those comments. She can still be the best, be whoever she wants, whether she flies or not because it doesn't matter. It was Rainbow Dash who convinced Scootaloo of this, despite flying the entire time, despite being someone with such incredible ability that Scootaloo cannot with her maybe disability, but still, it works, and it's great, and it's... I know it sounds like I'm gushing, but I must, I TRULY MUST CONVEY TO YOU HOW INCREDIBLE IT IS that Rainbow Dash DOESN'T CARE whether Scoots can fly or not. IT SPEAKS OF HER CHARACTER SO MUCH.

Now we come to the worst episode of the entire series.

You're probably genuinely surprised that I do not regard Filli Vanilli as the worst episode in the entire series. I don't! Amazing, I know. Yes, it has a craptacular Pinkie Pie, but the rest of the episode should not be dragged down just for that one rage-inducing aspect. The songs are good. I like Flutterguy. Hearing Big Mac sing is great, seeing Rarity get to use her voice is awesome too, and look! A Zecora! How rare. Of course Filli Vanilli is still one of my least favourites, so... moving on.

And you're also probably genuinely surprised that Cutie Re-Mark pt. II also doesn't have this distinction because dang, my unhappiness of how they solved that problem and quickly and poorly redeemed that character is also at near rage-inducing levels of the craptacular Pinkie Pie. IT JUST DOESN'T COMPUTE, OKAY? But still, it is not the worst episode.

No, Rainbow Falls is.

Let's talk about the Wonderbolts. In the very first episode, Dash makes it very clear of her dream to be in the Wonderbolts. In season one the Wonderbolts retain their distinction of being awesome and cool celebrities, but there were hints of what was to come. In Sonic Rainboom Rarity somehow managed to knock all three Wonderbolts unconscious as they tried to save her. All THREE. If it had just been one, sure, two? Well maybe Rarity has a hind-kick that rivals Applejack, three? Well at that point Rarity might be grasping the idiot ball too obviously, to make sure that Rainbow Dash and ONLY Rainbow Dash ends up saving her so she can solve all her problems in one fell swoop, or Sonic Rainboom I should say. Anyway an unfortunate side-effect is that the Wonderbolts are rendered useless in this instance. We know the strong importance of show versus telling, so we have to make sure if the Wonderbolts are as awesome as Rainbow Dash always gushes of, we must see it for ourselves to seal the deal in our heads.

Season two rolls along and... they fail to do anything to Spike-Zilla. I guess they give him a haircut, but he stops them pretty easily. That's two-for-two already, sort of not a great track record so far. Will the Wonderbolts do ANYTHING to show us they deserve such a reputation? Then we come to arguably Hurricane Fluttershy's one flaw, Spitfire doing nothing. For a long time I wondered why people argued about this because I thought maybe this was a Ponyville duty and Spitfire intervening would not do. She might just organize a whole crowd of other pegasi somewhere else, like Fillydelphia or something if they can't do it, but then that would not explain Rainbow Dash's desperation. She's not even trying to break a record anymore. It's pretty heavily implied that there would be no water in Cloudsdale and thus NO RAIN, if the Ponyville pegasi cannot make the cyclone, so if it's that urgent and important, why not have Spitfire jump in? The only reason I have is thus, if she did we'd otherwise not be able to give Fluttershy her limelight so she may accomplish what she does and satisfy her otherwise pitiful self-esteem (and childhood traumas and such). But again, it leaves us a bad taste for Spitfire and therefore the Wonderbolts. Was she neglectful of her duty?

Wonderbolts Academy comes along and some people are baffled at Spitfire's "personality-change". It may be confusing yes, especially since it appears she has a new voice-actress although according to the wiki Spitfire's voice has been the same since the Gala, so who knows. The point is, she is now a drill-sergeant, and this aspect of her character sort of sticks throughout the rest of her appearances. I guess her previous cameos didn't have enough of a personality or something. I'm fine with it because if the Wonderbolts is supposed to be pseudo-military, and this is meant to be a boot camp, it wouldn't make sense for her to show favouritism towards Dash no matter what she's done. She's still gotta be treated and go through everything else that every other recruit has to suffer through. That's just how it is. But apparently these Wonderbolts instructors were not thorough enough to realize Lightning Dust's shortcomings. Did Spitfire purposefully put Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust together with Dash as the wingpony to teach Rainbow Dash something? But we already argued against giving her favouritism, so why do the complete opposite and make Rainbow Dash the wingpony? What has Lightning Dust shown that gives her any advantage over Rainbow Dash?

Apparently, showing off and going beyond what the instructor says in the demonstrations is okay. This is not a quality you want to have, to award Lightning Dust for it seems odd. Or maybe that is a test too, to see if Lightning Dust has the ability to be a leader since you already saw Rainbow Dash be one, and see if Rainbow Dash is able to be a follower. That may be it! I do feel like I am grasping for straws because I DO love this episode, and this is a fairly benign problem, by my standards anyway. Still if we DON'T think so hard about it and take it at face value, when Spitfire tells Rainbow Dash they chose Lightning Dust as the leader because she likes to go beyond, it tells us they did not have the foresight to see Lightning Dust's shortcomings, somehow missed all those exercises where they screwed the only ponies over, and basically make them seem a little more incompetent than they should be. But y'know, if this wasn't the case that tornado never would have happened, and would never have almost killed RD's friends, and would never have caused RD to almost quit, showing the real upstanding type of attitude a Wonderbolt SHOULD have.

So, who knows.

Then we come back to Rainbow Falls. Oh sure, I can ramble on-and-on about how awful the rest of the episode is. Pinkie's entire screentime is just shrieking. Rarity made ugly dresses for some reason, and cannot tell with her own eyes. Applejack is being obnoxious and forcing apple treats into people's mouths, seems a bit off these three ponies are. Or maybe the perpetually anxious Fluttershy and STEROIDS PEGASUS being involved in the PONY OLYMPICS IN A RELAY RACE because apparently Rainbow Dash is so awesome she can overcome their shortcomings and keep the team competitive, and conveniently the rest of the able pegasi of Ponyville prefer all the other events over the relay. But despite the fact that I POINTED ALL THAT OUT, this isn't about that.

We just had an episode where Rainbow Dash exemplified the traits needed to be a Wonderbolt, not just being fast, but being a general decent all-around good pony. SO HOW THE FUCK DID SPITFIRE AND FLEETFOOT PASS THEIR BOOTCAMP? They throw Soarin' under the bus and try to pry Rainbow Dash away from Ponyville, abandon her friends so their already unstoppable team can be even more unstoppable, despite there being other Wonderbolts they can choose from. Or maybe THEY TOO are in other events, we don't know. They didn't say! And Rainbow Dash instead of realizing her heroes, her idols, her Wonderbolts are being absolute pricks, the complete opposite of the show's message, FRIENDSHIP, when she almost gave up being a Wonderbolt BECAUSE it felt like they did value the integrity needed to be a Wonderbolt, tries to make a shitty poor excuse where she BREAKS EVERYTHING, so she can't disappoint anyone because she really, really wants to be on the team with the Wonderbolts. She's just conflicted by her loyalty to the hopeless and nonsensical Ponyville team that just drafted in a clumsy lazy-eyed pegasus known for endearingly messing up everything to be her replacement. 

I just don't even.

I guess Rainbow Dash was too awesome so they had to press the reset button again or something, but the Wonderbolts, her dream-team really hasn't at any single time been portrayed positively, that would allow Rainbow Dash's dream of being one of them believable because so far they've either been incompetent or jerks! It doesn't even stop here! Sometimes I wonder if that made up Shadowbolt team would have made more sense than this at this rate, Jesus!

...I forgot about Daring Don't didn't I.

Ugh. I don't wanna do Daring Don't.

Rainbow Dash and reading because we need to teach kids too cool to read to read? Fine. Rainbow Dash's fictional hero being non-fictional all of a sudden? Well that sure tones down Rainbow Dash's accomplishments. Apparently she's got a lookalike with duller colours going around stealing treasures and fighting off a strange and weird Egyptian creature like Ahuizolti, where doom and devastation can occur if Daring Do is not there, and Rainbow Dash can intrude in her life enough to end up in the book herself, validating all the self-insert fantasies in every fanfiction ever OH GOD IT'S MY WORST NIGHTMARE LET'S JUST MOVE ON. The awesome pony that can break sound barriers and save the world multiple times is an obnoxious nerdy fangirl that wants to go adventures with her hero ignoring the life she has that frankly from what we've seen has been SO MUCH MORE HEROIC AND INTERESTING, but I guess when you're in that situation you don't really know what you have, and more often marvel at others instead. So whatever this episode is okay. 

Then we have maybe my most favourite moral yet in Testing, Testing One, Two, Three. We could have easily just had Rainbow Dash be dumb. I mean the dumb jock trope is everywhere. She's awesome enough she doesn't need to be a studying prodigy on top of being quite possibly the greatest flier in the history of Equestria. But unlike the reading one which was obvious, predictable, and meh, we learn that Rainbow Dash's method of learning is rather unorthodox, it may even explain how she dropped out of flight school. She just can't focus in a traditional school setting, and though it's awfully nice of the entire town to help teach Rainbow Dash the history of the Wonderbolts, it's nice that it focuses on something like this so kids who are struggling can realize that maybe they aren't dumb after all, they just learn differently.

I mean obviously there are dumb kids, but this episode is not for them. P:

We are in muddy waters here. Rainbow Dash has been brought back to earth again! But like any pegasi, she must fly and reach for the top. Testing, Testing One, Two, Three does establish she is not dumb, and can ace tests so maybe Rainbow Dash IS awesome again. I'm very confused where in this cycle we are. I guess the latter is true because we're certainly not due for another "RAINBOW DASH IS AWESOME BEYOND ALL MEASURE" episode. We have instead, Tanks for the Memories. This may not be the fault of Rainbow Dash herself, but just the very fact that this is a show meant for young children...and despite other shows not shying away from the topic of death, apparently that is too much for the technicolour horsie show. Y'know despite that one time when Twilight murdered several Pinkies, or that time Luna created a being to punish herself. Or maybe the episode before yesterday's Rainbow Dash episode, where Trixie almost commited suicide. But oh no, let's not have an episode about a pet dying even though kids have either already have or will go through a death some time or another, like maybe of a hamster or a grandparent passing away or what have you. 

But that doesn't mean we CAN HAVE THE MORAL ANYWAY. Guys. This isn't Pinkie Pie. You can't have the cake and eat it too! By having Tank NOT die, now Rainbow Dash looks like a colossally immature fool. We're supposed to believe this same mare was responsible for transferring the water to Cloudsdale so Ponyville can HAVE RAIN and would throw away her competitive spirit just to make sure such an essential duty was complete, but will sabotage the Weather Factory and BREAK EVERYTHING, costing millions of bits in damage and ruining what forecasts they have planned in the future just so her tortoise won't sleep for three months!? REALLY GUYS? You lucky I love that crying scene so much. And no, a solo song does nothing to make this flaw go away.

Well, I suppose the CYCLE MUST GO ON. In this case, our next relevant Rainbow Dash episode (I am ignoring Gilda. She is not relevant. In fact Daring Don't isn't relevant either, why do I have that here?) is Rarity Investigates. And yes, this again is a return to Rainbow Dash being awesome, even if she's rather impatient of Rarity's antics, thinking she is doing nothing to improve the situation. This episode is also another example of the Wonderbolts being worth jack for their so-called reputation. A letter with no return address shows up and convinces Spitfire her mom is sick, so instead of confirming this for herself she will immediately head to the Crystal Mountains or whatever to find the cure first. The rest of the Wonderbolts immediately accuse Rainbow Dash, and assign RD herself to solve the problem if she wants to stay in the reserves, solely because she has a motive. No real concrete evidence, just a motive. And yeah, she has no alibi but I'm willing to bet EVERYBODY ELSE was doing the same thing, sleeping because it was the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. What are these stupid show-pegasi doing? You can't stay unless you prove your own innocence of something you did not do? Rainbow Dash is a professional flier, not a goddamn private investigator. She's lucky Rarity was there when she was, egads!

But the awesomeness comes in the form of Rainbow refusing to take part with the Wonderbolts' show without Spitfire, and going out there and being awesome enough to retrieve her in time for it anyway, thus earning enough good karma for them to kick out Wind Rider and having Rainbow Dash replace him! In this case she did have her cake and eat it too! Isn't that amazing? This is the Hurricane Fluttershy, Wonderbolts Academy, Flight to the Finish Rainbow Dash I remember! Yay! And yet another negative blow for the Wonderbolts. For instance, one of the greatest Wonderbolts, Wind Rider who is now near retirement or already retired being sleazy enough to pull this stunt, and keeping up with this same shitty attitude. Does this mean he's done this before and gotten away with it? Well geez no wonder the Wonderbolts are full of assholes, this guy slipped through the cracks so many damn times! At this rate I wouldn't be surprised if the Wonderbolts were just a bunch of Lance Armstrongs. 

And I guess the pattern must go on they say because now we arrive to yesterday's episode, Newbie Dash.

I know every other character goes through this sort of thing too, though not in quite such a methodical manner. Sometimes a character teaches the lesson and sometimes they learn the lesson themselves, but the extremes Rainbow Dash goes through is unmatched. She is either amazing wonderful great role-model Rainbow Dash, or immature destructive selfish egotistical idiot Rainbow Dash. You may say every character has their flaws, but why is it like an episode-to-episode basis? Why is one day we get idiot Dash and next day we get cool Dash? Is a normal realistic person not meant to be a well-balanced mix? It's like she turns off her brain on some days or something, I do not understand!

Well yesterday she turned off her brain! I have attempted to rant about it three times, failed, and instead just decided to go through an entire Rainbow Dash analysis instead! What a turn of events I say! I know what the writers were TRYING to do. The moral is when you go up the ranks of whatever you love, whatever you're talented in you're no longer the one who stands out for what you do. In Ponyville Rainbow Dash is the best flier, no dice about it. In the Wonderbolts which she has just been accepted to, she is now surrounded by peers with the same kind of talent level. Rainbow Dash can no longer bask in her glory as being the best, as now EVERYONE is the best, so she goes to extreme measures to find some other way of calling attention to herself and having all the glory, which doesn't make sense because you are practically in a showboating military! 

Yet still, the way she goes about it is quite possibly both nonsensical nor is it especially funny. It's funny a few times, but not in a way that I think is believable for Dash's character. She doesn't want to be known as Rainbow Crash for the rest of eternity in the Wonderbolts, so she tries to act different to change her reputation. And her method of doing so is... acting like her friends. She must think highly of her friends...and subsequently not think highly of them because as amusing as her impressions are (the one she did to mock Twilight in season five is perfect) she also seems to choose the most exaggerated aspects of their characters to imitate, so I'm not entirely sure what she is even trying to do. It's like she turned off her brain. She also KEEPS GOING. Oh, the first three times didn't work? TRY TWO MORE TIMES. Oh, every impression didn't work? Go against every single protocol and rule, like not looking both ways despite being specifically reminded beforehand (and even blaming her mistakes on others!) and even alter the show they were performing just because she can't stand to NOT STAND OUT around her idols, dream ponies, and what have you. It's JUST A BIT TO OUTRAGEOUS FOR ME TO SWALLOW. Why are you being an idiot again! You just demonstrated your amazingness last season by fetching Spitfire instead of taking her place! Such leadership! Again, I can see the moral needing to be delivered to the viewers, but the execution, the manner in which they did so just wasn't good!

Oh and the Wonderbolts suck again, or DO THEY?

The ending is the only thing that saves this episode, thankfully. The humiliation conga-line aside, the fact that everyone has embarrassing nicknames showcases that well, this was just a kid-friendly way of hazing the new kid. (It's Tanks for the Memories all over again isn't it? Can't show the full extent of the hazing, so just do it half-way and it looks more like schoolyard bullying instead. These gluttonous writers and directors and their freakin' cake, I swear) I mean it doesn't help that the very juvenile Rainbow Crash nickname is used instead of something more clever and new. It's like if you were called a doodoohead as a kindergartner, and now your co-workers and boss call you a doodoohead. Yeeeeeah. And to be fair, Rainbow Dash does own up to it. She'll take any punishment she deserves. I guess momentous lapses in judgment are just part of Rainbow Dash's character now. Maybe if I accepted that this entire rant wouldn't need to exist.

No fuck it. I don't care if I'm sick and all this non-stop typing is wrecking my shoulder. THE RANT EXISTS. NO REGRETS!! I'll be up in less than seven hours everybody! May the stress not be with you.
spotto: (Q_Q)
PONES!!

EVERY EPISODE HAS ITS FLAWS, UNLESS IT DOESN'T

I'M GOING TO NAME AS MANY AS I CAN AND JUSTIFY THEM IN AS LITTLE WORDS AS I AM ABLE TO

WITH CAPS LOCK ON THE ENTIRE TIME

READY? STEADY? GO!

1&2. THE PILOT IS EXTREMELY FORMULAIC. BOOK OF LORE. GO TO PONYVILLE. MEET FIVE PONIES. EVIL BOSS SHOWS UP. QUEST TO THE CASTLE WHERE EVIL BOSS IS WITH THESE FIVE PONIES. DEFEAT THEM WITH MAGIC MACGUFFIN. 

3. TICKET MASTER WAS BORING. THE WEEKENDERS DID IT BETTER.

4. APPLEBUCK SEASON'S APPLEJACK'S VOICE WAS TOO HIGH IDK. UNICORNS OP. APPLEJACK PURPOSEFULLY PUTTING WORMS IN HER COOKING IS BEYOND SLEEP DEPRIVATION AND ENTERING DELUSIONAL PSYCHEDELIC LEVELS OF CRAZY.

5. GRIFFON THE BRUSH-OFF WAS PERFECT. YEP. I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BAD TO SAY ABOUT THIS EPISODE. I SUPPOSE IT WASN'T OUTSTANDING? SORT OF AVERAGE? NOT THE GREATEST OF HUMOUR? RATHER SUBJECTIVE. GILDA'S A ONE-DIMENSIONAL BULLY? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME I LIKED THIS EPISODE.

6. PINKIE AND FLUTTERSHY HAD ZERO LINES. BLASPHEMY!

7. UNLESS THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF PONIES ASKING DRAGONS TO LEAVE AND THE IDEA ACTUALLY WORKING RUINS DRAGONS IN THIS SERIES FOR YOU, THERE IS NO REAL FLAW.

8. TWILIGHT WAS NAIVE AS FUCK.

9. BRIDLE GOSSIP WAS THE FUNNIEST EPISODE IN SEASON ONE. ALTERNATE OPINIONS ARE WRONG.

10. BOTH SIDES WERE OF EQUAL FAULT IN SWARM OF THE CENTURY. THEY HAD A COMMUNICATION FAILURE. PINKIE NOT EXPLAINING ANYTHING IN GENERAL AND THE REST OF THEM NOT TAKING HER SERIOUSLY ENOUGH TO EVEN ASK.

'11. ITTY BITTY TWINKIE PINKIE' WAS INDEED TOO SACCHARINE FOR MY EARS. ALSO SPIKE WAS A DICK. HILARIOUS, BUT A DICK.

12. TWIST IS INTRODUCED SOLELY TO BECOME IRRELEVANT. SCOOTALOO AND SWEETIE BELLE PHASED INTO EXISTENCE AND WERE SUDDENLY INSERTED INTO APPLE BLOOM'S CLASS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE YEAR. (BESIDES THAT NONSENSICAL SCENE WHERE THEY WERE COWERING IN FEAR TOGETHER IN THE PILOT, BUT LET'S IGNORE THAT)

13. NO ONE OUTSIDE OF APPLEJACK AND RAINBOW DASH CARE THAT THEY WERE CHEATING. AT ALL. WHAT THE SHIT.

14. THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF THE MANE FIVE ARE NOT SELF-AWARE ENOUGH TO REALIZE HOW HIDEOUS ALL OF THEIR DRESSES WERE. EVEN IF THEY LIKED THEIR OWN THEY WOULD NO DOUBT REALIZE HOW AWFUL THE OTHERS WERE. EXCEPT PINKIE. 

15. I HAD NO PROBLEM WITH THE MORAL IN THIS EPISODE, EXCEPT MAYBE IT WAS TOO VAGUE AND THAT MIGHT HAVE LEAD TO SOME CONTROVERSY. 

16. RARITY MAY BE VAIN ENOUGH TO NOT REALIZE HOW MUCH SHE WAS SABOTAGING DASH'S DREAM IN SONIC RAINBOOM, BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS FASHION DESIGNER COULD COME UP WITH SUCH A HORRID OUTFIT AND NOT REALIZE THE EXTENT OF HER ATROCITY BEING EXPOSED TO ALL OF CLOUDSDALE.

17. UNTIL SOMEONE POINTED IT OUT, I DID NOT REALIZE HOW MANY TIMES THE WRONG VOICE SYNCED WITH THE WRONG CMC. 

18. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU OR THE PLOT SAYS. SWEETIE BELLE'S OUTFIT WAS CUTE.

19. RARITY KNEW ALL ALONG HOW STUPID THE DIAMOND DOGS WERE, AND SO KNEW HER WHINING WOULD DEFEAT THEM. THE MESSAGE ISN'T "BITCH AND MOAN ALL DAY AND YOU'LL OUTWIT YOUR CAPTORS" BUT SIMPLY "YOU CAN USE BRAIN INSTEAD OF BRAWN TO OUTWIT YOUR CAPTORS" ADMITTEDLY THEY MAY NOT HAVE DELIVERED THEIR MORAL WELL.

20. GREEN ISN'T YOUR COLOUR IS PERFECT. GOOD DAY.

21. THIS ENTIRE PREMISE IS TOUCHY AND THE WRITERS APPROACHED THE ISSUE IN THE LEAST DARING, MOST BENIGN MANNER POSSIBLE THAT THIS EPISODE MIGHT AS WELL BE ENTIRELY IGNORED. FORTUNATELY THE HUMOUR WAS (MOSTLY) ON POINT, EXCEPT FOR PINKIE'S SINGING, AND THE FLUTTERSHY GLOMP IS THE GREATEST SCENE EVER.

22. THAT YAKETY SAX SCENE WAS THE LEAST ENTERTAINING YAKETY SAX SCENE I'VE SEEN.

23. WHAT IS THIS PLACE FILLED WITH SO MANY WONDERS? CASTING ITS SPELL THAT I AM NOW UNDER! SQUIRRELS IN THE TREES AND THE CUTE LITTLE BUNNIES~ BIRDS FLYING FREE AND THE BEES WITH THEIR HONEY! HOOOOOOOOONEY! OH WHAT A MAGICAL PLACE. AND I OWE IT ALL TO THE PEGASUS RACE! IF I KNEW THE GROUND HAD SO MUCH UP ITS SLEEVE, I'D HAVE COME HERE SOONER, AND NEVER LEAVE! YES. I. LOVE. EVERYYYYYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!! (THIS IS THE FIRST MLP SONG I MEMORIZED BY HEART)

24. THE FIRST OF MANY BORING, MEDIOCRE, DIGNITY-DESTROYING SPIKE EPISODES.

25. PARTY OF ONE IS FLAWLESS.

26. FOR SOME REASON THIS IS STILL THE BEST WRITTEN FINALE OF THE SERIES.

-

1&2. DISCORDED PINKIE COULD'VE BEEN LESS ONE-DIMENSIONAL. UNLESS THE SHOW IS BEING META AND THE OPPOSITE OF PINKIE IS ONE-DIMENSIONAL. I LIKE THAT HEADCANON.

3. PARTY OF ONE ALREADY DID IT, BUT OTHERWISE IT WAS FUNNY. BALLOONS IN MY BASKET IS THE MOST UNDERRATED SCENE AND SONG IN THE ENTIRE SERIES/FANDOM RESPECTIVELY.

4. THIS EPISODE WAS FLAWLE--OKAY, THERE WAS A LOT OF MISCOMMUNICATION ESPECIALLY ON PINKIE'S PART, WHO ESSENTIALLY FAILED TO COMMUNICATE AT ALL. INSTEAD OF BEING WISE AND FIXING THE PROBLEM ANYWAY LIKE IN EPISODE TEN SHE ONLY SERVED TO DRIVE THE CONFLICT, BUT I AM PERSONALLY OKAY WITH IT.

5. WHY IS SWEETIE BELLE FRAMED AS THE CORRECT ONE IN THIS EPISODE? RARITY HAS TO KEEP HER BUSINESS RUNNING BUT APPARENTLY MAKING THE CUTE LITTLE SISTER UPSET IS A HUGE SIN THAT RARITY MUST MAKE UP FOR. I STILL LIKED THE EPISODE THOUGH BECAUSE IT PORTRAYED A SIBLING RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS LESS IDEAL THAN APPLEJACK'S.

6. I DON'T REMEMBER THIS EPISODE BEING MEMORABLE.

7. TANK WAS VERY PREDICTABLE, BUT IT WAS HEARTWARMING ALL THE SAME.

8. EVERYONE'S AN ASSHOLE. 

9. DANG RARITY YOU ONE LUCKY SON OF A BITCH. 

10. I WISH PINKIE'S APARTMENT BEING BLOWN AWAY HAD MORE LASTING EFFECT. OH WELL.

11, HOW ON EARTH DID THE MOST COMPETENT PONIES IN THIS STORY ONLY END UP BEING ADVISORS OR SIDEKICKS? NO WONDER THEY WERE FUCKED.

12. JESUS CHRIST GRANNY SMITH IS THREE-HUNDRED-YEARS-OLD. SHE'S A WITCH!

13. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY. RESPONSIBILITY.
SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GOD
 
14. DERPY WAS NOT THE MOST INTERESTING PART OF THIS EPISODE. SHE ISN'T EVEN THE SECOND MOST INTERESTING, OR EVEN THE FIFTH. SCREW YOU TOO.

15. HOW TO BUSINESS? WHATEVER THE EPISODE WAS FUNNY AND HAD COOL SONG, WHO CARES. ALSO IMPLIED ALCOHOL YAY!

16. LET'S PICK THE MOST OBVIOUS CHARACTER TO TEACH TO CHILDREN THAT READING IS COOL. TO THE POINT THAT SHE'LL STEAL.

17. THIS FELT LIKE THE MOST HARMLESS WAY TO SAY "TAKE THAT!" TO SHIPPERS, BUT THAT'S IMPLYING THE EPISODE WAS EVEN TARGETED TO THAT AUDIENCE ANYWAY, AS IF THEY WERE WRITING THIS EPISODE TO ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGE THIS SUBSET OF PEOPLE. HA. 

18. GODDAMNIT PINKIE PIE.

19. EVERYONE'S AN ASSHOLE AGAIN.

20. YES, RELEASE THE TIME-TRAVEL BIT AS A PROMO THEN HAVE THAT SCENE PLAY TWICE IN THE EPISODE! SAVE ON THOSE ANIMATION COSTS! 

21. DRAGONS ARE UNCIVILIZED BARBARIC ASSHOLES. STEREOTYPICAL TEENAGE BULLY ONES, ANYWAY. WHAT A WASTE OF POTENTIAL. DRAGON LORE: LOST.

22. THIS EPISODE WAS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. OKAY SPITFIRE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE PARTICIPATED WHEN THERE WAS A GOOD CHANCE THE WATER WOULDN'T GO TO CLOUDSDALE AT ALL, BUT EH. MAYBE SHE WOULD HAVE FINED RAINBOW DASH FOR FAILING AND WENT TO A DIFFERENT CITY TO DO IT INSTEAD OR SOMETHING, BUT NOTHING WAS IMPLIED SO HEADCANON EXPLANATIONS DON'T COUNT,

23. I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.

24. HEY ELEMENTS OF HARMONY EXCEPT APPLEJACK BECAUSE OF TIME AND TWILIGHT BECAUSE SHE'S SHERLOCK, LET'S RUIN OUR BEST FRIEND'S CAKE THAT HER EMPLOYERS MADE FOR THE COMPETITION BECAUSE SHE DESCRIBED IT WITH SUCH MAJESTIC ZEST WE HAVE TO TAKE GIGANTIC DESTRUCTIVE CHOMPS OUT OF THE CAKE NO MATTER WHAT! AND WE'LL DO IT BEHIND HER BACK! AND SHE'LL FORGIVE US EASILY ANYWAY. AND THEY END UP WINNING THE COMPETITION BY COMBINING EVERYONE'S DESSERT INTO A MONSTROUS MESS ANYWAY! 

25&26. CHRYSALIS IS ACTUALLY A TACTICAL GENIUS BECAUSE THIS GUY SAID SO. THE EPISODE WAS GOOD. EXCEPT MAYBE THE PART WHERE LOVE GENERICALLY SAVED THE DAY. I ALSO THINK THE IDEA THAT SHINING ARMOUR AND CADANCE'S LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER WAS SO GREAT IT OVERPOWERED CELESTIA MADE SENSE, BUT BECAUSE WE WERE NEVER SHOWN THE COUPLE'S LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER AND ONLY TOLD, WHILE THEIR ROMANCE WAS MERELY A FAIRY-TALE GENERIC ROMANCE LEFT THE IMPACT AND INTENTION OF THAT SCENE WEAK, LEAVING MANY TO INTERPRET THAT INDEED CELESTIA ISN'T POWERFUL AT ALL.

-

1&2. PLEASE TELL ME "TWILIGHT FIXING THE PLOT BY HERSELF WHILE THE REST OF HER FRIENDS ARE EITHER USELESS OR NEGLIGIBLE" DOESN'T BECOME AN ONGOING THEME OF THE ADVENTURE-HEAVY PREMIERES AND FINALES.

3. THIS EPISODE GAVE ME A HEADACHE. ALSO UNFORTUNATE IMPLICATIONS.

4. CONSIDERING HOW THEY HANDLED OVER A BARREL I AM NOT SURPRISED THEY CHOSE THE EASIEST, LEAST DARING SOLUTION TO THE BULLYING PROBLEM.

5. WOW TRIXIE HAS REALLY WEAK MAGIC ON HER OWN. LIKE SERIOUSLY. EVEN A BABY CAN SERIOUSLY HARM SOMEONE IF THEY TRY REALLY HARD, BUT TRIXIE CAN'T EVEN IF SHE TRIED? IS MAGIC THAT COMPLICATED?

6. UNTIL SEASON FOUR HAPPENED, THE MOST WELL-WRITTEN, MOST FLAWLESS BEST EPISODE IN THE SERIES.

7. WOW ONLY ONE PONY'S AN ASSHOLE! GOOD IMPROVEMENT! ALSO SPITFIRE WAS WRITTEN WELL. YOU DON'T SHOW BIAS WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A MILITARY DRILL-SERGEANT GODDAMNIT. HOW YOU SUPPOSED TO RECRUIT THE BEST-OF-THE-BEST? NOT THAT THE WONDERBOLTS HAVE EVER SHOWN ANYTHING OF MERIT IN ANY EPISODE EVER, BUT STILL. WHY DOES RAINBOW DASH WANT TO JOIN THEM WHEN SHE'S ALREADY BETTER THAN THEM AGAIN? I WILL REVISIT THIS POINT IN SEASON FOUR. "IT'S A TWISTER" IS THE BEST LINE IN THE SERIES.

8. THIS EPISODE WAS AS UNIQUE AND GROUNDBREAKING AS ITS SONG. 

9. I'D BE OKAY WITH TWO SPIKE EPISODES AND NO RARITY EPISODE IN THE SHORTENED SEASON IF THIS EPISODE WAS ACTUALLY GOOD.

10. I ALREADY HATED THE CONCEPT BEFORE I WATCHED THIS EPISODE SO I AM TOO BIASED TO SAY ANYTHING REALLY. STILL, THEY NEEDED FAR MORE TIME TO EVEN CONVINCE DISCORD TO PRETEND TO REFORM, LET ALONE ACTUALLY REFORM LIKE THIS EPISODE DID. I LOVED DISCORD THE VILLAIN, BUT HAVING HIM SWITCH SIDES THIS FAST SERIOUSLY UNDERMINES HIS IMPACT AS A VILLAIN. HE DIDN'T FULLY TAKE THEIR SIDE UNTIL THE SEASON FOUR FINALE, BUT WE'LL GET THERE WHEN WE GET THERE.

11. HEY IT WAS BETTER THAN THE FOLLOWING EPISODE.

12. OUTSHINED BY THE SIMULTANEOUS SPIKE EPISODE. FOR SHAME.

13. I LIKED THE IDEA AND THE CONCEPT, TOO BAD THERE WAS ONLY ONE EPISODE TO DO ALL THIS IN. SONGS WERE CATCHY THOUGH. HOORAY ALICORN TWILIGHT?

-

1&2. APPLEJACK: "QUICK GUYS! WE NEED TWILIGHT T'SKEDADDLE OUT O' OUR GROUP BEFOR' SHE NICKS ALL 'EM PREMIERES AND FINALES FOR HERSELF FOREVEEEER!" BUT THEN TWILIGHT COMES BACK. RIP MANE FIVE IMPORTANT EPISODE PROMINENCE. I ALSO CANNOT WRITE COUNTRY.

3. WHO IS THE PONY OF SHADOWS? WHY ARE WE NEVER GOING TO KNOW? WHY HAVE THAT ENDSCENE ANYWAY!? RAAARGHGHHHH

4. IF DARING DO IS REAL, DOES THAT MEAN THERE ARE OTHER UNSUNG HEROES OUT IN EQUESTRIA WE KNOW NOTHING OF, AND THE WORLD IS ACTUALLY CONSTANTLY DOOMED AND BEING SAVED BY UNNAMED PONIES NOT OUR PROTAGONISTS, MAKING THEIR FEATS FEEL FAR LESS GRAND AND MAJESTIC AND CLIMATIC AS WE BELIEVED THEM TO BE? NO WONDER THOSE MANEHATTEN PONIES STILL ACTED RUDE TO ALICORN PRINCESS TWILIGHT. THEY MUST ALL KNOW SOMEONE. WHY DOES SHE GET THE RECOGNITION WHEN ALL THOSE GUYS DON'T?

5. MAYBE RAINBOW DASH SHOULDN'T BE FLYING THE ENTIRE TIME SHE'S GIVING THAT MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH TO SCOOTALOO. JUST SAIYAN.

6. WELL IF YOU'RE GONNA SHOVE SUPERHEROES IN MY FACE AT LEAST IT WAS ENTERTAINING.

7. IS FLUTTERSHY STILL A BAT? ARE WE NEVER GOING TO KNOW? WHY HAVE THAT ENDSCENE ANYWAY!? WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED AGAIN!? YOU STUPID LINGERING POINTLESS SHOTS!!!!

8. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. GENEROSITY. 
OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP 

9. THE BEST EPISODE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES.

10. WHY ARE THE WONDERBOLTS SO TERRIBLE? WHY DOES RAINBOW DASH LOOK UP TO THEM? WHY DOES SHE NEED TO LEARN TO BE LOYAL WHEN SHE'S SHOWN TO BE LOYAL SO MANY TIMES BEFORE? WHY ARE THE PONIES LEAST-FITTING TO BE IN THE OLYMPICS, IN THE OLYMPICS? DID NO OTHER PEGASUS REALLY WANT TO DO THIS EVENT AND BE IN THE SAME TEAM AS RAINBOW-FUCKING-DASH? WHERE IS THE RESPECT FOR HER!? WHAT THE FUCK!?

11. THE ONLY REASON THIS EPISODE IS LOVED IS BECAUSE OF WEIRD AL. UNTIL THIS MOMENT I DON'T RECALL PINKIE HAVING MUCH OF AN EGO AT ALL. SINCE WHEN ARE PARTIES SERIOUS BUSINESS? WAT. OKAY FINE PINKIE HAD GOOD CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT OTHERWISE, BUT INTRODUCING A FLAW OUT OF NOWHERE TO SOLVE IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT OK.

12. I WISH PINKIE, RAINBOW DASH, RARITY, AND APPLEJACK WERE TAKING CARE OF DISCORD AND NOT TWILIGHT AND CADANCE. AT LEAST UFP MADE AN ENTERTAINING EPISODE OUT OF IT.

13. THE STALLIONS THEY INTRODUCE TO BE LOVE INTERESTS HAVE THUS FAR BEEN VERY UNDERWHELMING. OKAY SO IT'S REALLY ONLY BLUEBLOOD AND TRENDERHOOF, BUT MY GOD ARE THEY UNDERWHELMING. PLEASE HAVE BETTER TASTE RARITY LIKE RAINBOW DASH I MEAN WHAT

14. NO.

15. MAN SWEETIE BELLE CAN BE SINISTER.

16. "THERE IS NO EVOLUTION IN EQUESTRIA, ONLY A LIST OF ANIMALS FLUTTERSHY ALLOWS TO EXIST." GOOD MORAL.

17. I AGREE WITH THE POPULACE. APPLEJACK IS NOT APPLEJACK IN THIS EPISODE, UNLESS WE GET INTO HEADCANONY-PARENTS-BEING-DEAD-JUSTIFYING-PARANOIA-THEORY OR SOMETHING SILLY LIKE THAT.

18. MAUD PIE, THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO MLP SINCE PINKIE PIE.

19. MAN SWEETIE BELLE CAN BE SINISTER. THIS EPISODE ALSO GAVE ME A HEADACHE. 

20. YOUR SONG WAS BETTER THE FIRST TIME AROUND, FLIM FLAM BROS.

21. THIS MORAL WAS BALLS-TO-THE-WALLS AWESOME. WAY TO REPRESENT THE NOT-ACTUALLY-DUMB STRUGGLING KIDS, RAINBOW DASH.

22. APPARENTLY TRADING PONIES IS LEGAL.

23. OKAY RARITY LEGIT FREAKED ME OUT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES. I DON'T EVEN REWATCH THIS EPISODE BECAUSE SHE LEAVES ME SO UNEASY. IT'S THE WAY THOSE GLOWING GREEN EYES ARE DRAWN, MAN. AGH.

24. YAY A GOOD SPIKE EPISODE! YES HIS DIGNITY DID GO INTO THE NEGATIVES, BUT HE MADE UP FOR IT BY SAVING THE DAY. GREAT MORAL. 

25&26. IT IS ONE THING TO REFORM DISCORD SO EASILY TO KNOCK DOWN THE STOCK OF HIS VILLAINY A PEG, BUT FOR HIM TO ACT SO NAIVE AND BE SO PREDICTABLY BETRAYED BY TIREK AS WELL REALLY DAMPERS HIS INITIAL APPEARANCE AS A VILLAIN. I NO LONGER SEE HIM AS INTIMIDATING AND CHAOTIC AS HE ONCE WAS.  ALSO COOL EXPLOSIONS AND MANE FIVE'S ONLY USEFULNESS BEING THERE TO SHOOT THE MACGUFFIN. OH WELL.

-

1&2. WOW THE MOST INTERESTING WELL-WRITTEN VILLAIN SINCE DISCORD! I HOPE THEY DON'T RUIN THIS!

3. I GUESS THEY FORGOT WHAT TWILIGHT LIKED BECAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS OUT OF THE LOOP WHENEVER IMPENDING DOOM THREATENS EQUESTRIA.

4. JUST LIKE HOW APPLEJACK ALWAYS HAS EPISODES WITH HER FAMILY, WHY CAN'T APPLE BLOOM HAVE EPISODES THAT ISN'T ABOUT CUTIE MARKS? AT LEAST SWEETIE BELLE HAS OTHER PROBLEMS ALONG WITH SCOOTALOO. ALL APPLE BLOOM EPISODES ARE ALWAYS ABOUT CUTIE MARKS. WHY.

5. RAINBOW MAY HAVE COMMITTED ECO-TERRORISM FOR THE PETTIEST REASON EVER, BUT I CAN NEVER HATE AN EPISODE WITH SUCH A GLORIOUS AND HILARIOUS CRYING SCENE.

6. THIS WOULD BE A FILLER EPISODE IN A SERIES THAT'S ALREADY SUPPOSED TO BE FILLER IF IT WEREN'T FOR EPISODE 18.

7. FOR ONCE I LIKE HOW POST-REFORM DISCORD IS WRITTEN. ALL OF THE APPLAUSE TO YOU. THIS IS ALSO THE FUNNIEST EPISODE IN SEASON FIVE. ALTERNATE OPINIONS ARE WRONG.

8. GILDA WAS A BITCH BECAUSE SHE LIVED IN BITCHVILLE, SO WE'LL FIX GILDA AND BITCHVILLE BY LIBERATING IT IN THE NAME OF FRIENDSHIP AND RAINBOWS.

9. HA! I TOLD YOU I WASN'T LOOKING TOO INTO THAT MOMENT IN RAINBOW ROCKS WHEN LYRA AND BONBON WERE PLAYING THE PIANO! I KNEW THEY WERE BEST FRIENDS! AND YOU DOUBTED ME ALL ALONG!

10. I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THESE SPIKE EPISODES THAT KILLED HIS DIGNITY AND GAVE HIM ZERO CHANCE TO SHINE.

11. WE MUST APPEASE THE TODDLER-LEVEL MATURITY AMBASSADORS BY GIVING IN TO THEIR EVERY WILL! 

12. THIS JUST IN, PONY PALETTE SWAPS CAN ACTUALLY HAVE INTERESTING IN-DEPTH CHARACTER. MORE AT 11.

13. DID MLP JUST FEATURE AN EPISODE ABOUT SELF-HARM? WHAT?

14. ALL THOSE JOKES OF RARITY OPERATING SWEATSHOPS WERE TOTALLY OFF-THE-MARK. 

15. RARITY IS A BETTER AND MORE ENTERTAINING DETECTIVE THAN PINKIE PIE. MY LIFE IS UPSIDE-DOWN AND BACKWARDS. THE WONDERBOLTS CONTINUE TO BE TERRIBLE.

16. I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE'S FANFARE ABOUT COCO POMMEL. THE BREEZIES WERE MORE INTERESTING THAN HER. SHE'S NOT CUTE, SHE'S BORING. IF PEOPLE CAN THINK FLUTTERSHY IS BORING, THIS CHARACTER IS EVEN MORE BORING.

17.  I THOUGHT MLP WAS TOO OPTIMISTIC OF A SHOW TO EVER MAKE ME CRY, AND YET THE ENDING SCENE OF THIS EPISODE DID. WHAT A POIGNANT PERFORMANCE, PETER NEW.

18. I WAS REALLY TIRED AND OUT OF IT WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS EPISODE SO MY INITIAL REACTION WAS "WHUT!?" INSTEAD OF ALL THE HEARTWARMING CRYING PEOPLE THAT WERE SUPER PROUD OF THE CMC. I THOUGHT THEIR CUTIE MARKS WERE BADLY DESIGNED, BUT I'M USED TO THEM NOW. THIS IS LIKE A BETTER WRITTEN MAGICAL MYSTERY CURE, BUT I STILL LIKE BOTH EPISODES.

19. A GOOD PINKIE PIE EPISODE. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

20. THAT IN-SYNC SCENE BETWEEN PINKIE AND AJ WAS FAR MORE AWKWARD THAN FUN OR CUTE. MARBLE PIE IS NOT BORING FOR THE SOLE FACT THAT SHE'S BASICALLY A FEMALE BIG MAC. IT'S AN INTERESTING PARALLEL AND SUGGESTS THE RELATION OF THE TWO FAMILIES, MUCH TO THE CHAGRIN OF THOSE WHO SHIP THEM. 

21. THIS COULD HAVE BEEN YOUR ONE CHANCE TO SATISFY THAT ENDING SCENE OF BATS! AND YOU DIDN'T DO IT! WHY! THAT LINGERING SHOT IS FOREVER POINTLESS! GAH!

22. YOU WERE DOING SO WELL WITH THE OTHER DISCORD EPISODE. I DO NOT SEE WHY HE NEEDS TWO PER SEASON NOW. WITH SLICE-OF-LIFE, THE OBLIGATORY LUNA EPISODE, THE CMC EPISODES, THE FACT THAT CELESTIA DESERVES AN EPISODE MORE THAN DISCORD GETTING TWO, AND NUMEROUS OTHER THINGS THAT ALREADY OVERSHADOW WHAT A BORING EPISODE THIS WAS.

23. OKAY.

24. Y'KNOW THE FUNNY THING IS RAZZLE DAZZLE IS MORE INTERESTING TO LISTEN TO MORE THAN ONCE, WHILE "I AM JUST A PONY" IS ONLY AS POWERFUL AS THE FIRST TIME YOU HEAR IT OR AT LEAST ON SPORADIC REPEATS. THAT'S WHY GENERIC POP DOMINATES RADIO STATIONS AND NOT POWER BALLADS OR WHATEVER, UNLESS YOU PLAY "LET IT GO" A BILLION TIMES AND KILL EVERYONE.

25&26. THE FACT THAT I CONSIDER MIDNIGHT SPARKLE THE MOST INTERESTING AND FOREBODING VILLAIN IN THIS SERIES IS VERY SAD. STARLIGHT VILLAINY POTENTIAL = ZERO. ALL IS LOST FOR SPOTTO'S WISH FOR DECENT VILLAINS IN MLP. 

-

1&2. OH I SEE. STARLIGHT HAS NOW TAKEN TWILIGHT'S ROLE IN OVERSHADOWING THE MANE FIVE FOR IMPORTANCE IN THE BIG EPISODES. WHAT A GREAT DECISION. 

3. IF ONE MORE PERSON BRINGS UP THE FACT THAT RARITY COULD HAVE SEWN A POUCH FOR MAUD INSTEAD I WILL PUNCH THEM IN THE NOSE UNTIL IT BREAKS.

4. THIS APPLEBLOOM EPISODE IS STILL ABOUT CUTIE MARKS. THEY ALREADY HAVE THEIR CUTIE MARKS. I KNOW AN EPISODE LIKE THIS SORTA NEEDS TO EXIST, BUT WHY FOCUS IT ONLY ON APPLEBLOOM? IT HAS BEEN SIX SEASONS PLEASE GIVE APPLE BLOOM MORE VARIED EPISODES, EGADS!

5. THIS IS NOT A SPIKE EPISODE. IT IS AN EMBER EPISODE. SPIKE WAS NOT THE MAIN FOCUS. I WAGER HE WAS JUST A VERY HELPFUL SUPPORTIVE CHARACTER. CALLING IT A GOOD SPIKE EPISODE IS A LIE. I ALSO DO NOT WELCOME THE RETURN OF STEREOTYPICAL FRAYBOY TEENAGE BULLY DRAGONS THAT KEEP MISSING THEIR OPPORTUNITIES FOR GOOD DRAGON LORE. WHY DID NO ADULT DRAGONS PARTICIPATE IN THIS COMPETITION? YOU'D THINK THEY WOULD BE MORE FITTING THAN ADOLESCENT DRAGONS. OR ARE THEY ALL SO LAZY AND TOO BUSY SLEEPING OVER THEIR GOLD HOARDS THAT THEY DON'T APPLY? WHO KNOWS? THE SHOW NEVER ELABORATES SO WE CAN ONLY GUESS!

6. DID MY LITTLE PONY PORTRAY A CHARACTER ATTEMPTING SUICIDE? ALSO THIS IS MY "MAKE NEW FRIENDS BUT KEEP DISCORD" COUNTERPART FOR STARLIGHT THE BLEEEEHHHH PONY ALSO TWILIGHT IS WORST PONY CONFIRMED 

7. I LITERALLY FACEPALMED IN REAL LIFE

8. I HAVEN'T HEARD A PINKIE PIE SOLO SINCE A BILLION YEARS AGO 10/10 EXCEPT NO SCOOTALOO AS TINY TIM SO 9/10

9. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG

AND THE REST OF THE EPISODES WHENEVER THEY AIR! 
spotto: (flutts)
In the RWBY fandom I operate on spite. Sheer spite. My favourite fan-artist just left the fandom. (I'm not entirely sure if it's for 100% sure but for now I'll take it as for sure, as that is what they have said). A lot of their art was part of the driving force for some of my writing because the show itself sure as fuck isn't good enough to do anything close to inspiration. My favourite character was often controversial and though does not hit the hot button as much as before I attribute that to the poor writing doing very little to amp her the best rounded parts of her personality anyway, seeing as it's inconsistent and paced poorly at best. My favourite ship is pelted with ship wars back and forth because it isn't the conventional "main pairs" that had been decided since episode fucking five of season fucking one.

This show is terrible and most fandom people I follow in it are moving on. I don't give one shit about "RWBY CHIBI" (and Chibi RWBY sounds better. They couldn't even do THAT right) or the fact that they're allowing content to be seen by sponsors one week early. It's bad enough trying to avoid spoilers for a day. I could not go on the sites for a day, I suppose. How am I supposed to actively take part in the fandom if half of them are drawing and writing for the newest episode and the rest have to wait a whole fucking week later? I can only participate if I pay them money? WHEN I HATE THIS SHOW ALREADY? THE INCENTIVE ISN'T EVEN THERE. And sure sponsorship doesn't even cost that much, but even if I was the richest motherfucker in the world damn universe I would not give them a single penny for the quality they put on screen. That's how much spite I feel.

I'm not even excited for the music that I once loved. I only liked one track in volume two (and one song had such aggravating lyrics I refused to take one step towards even downloading it, no less buying it like I did volume one) and even though there's a Weiss song apparently, I'm not even excited! Maybe that's because her backstory is an utter disappointment. I have no problem if one of her ways to rebel against her father and take charge of her future is choosing Beacon, but there's little to no detail whatsoever. Why the fuck did she choose Beacon of all places? Is it better than Haven? It's as generic as any other school for combat children! And after season three it turns out to be a god-awful choice anyway because everything goes to shit and now the whole school is abandoned and infested with Grimm and your future to become a huntress is now a complete uncertainty! Wow! Maybe it could be one step towards how she takes charge and defies her father but as is it's just really short and nothing compared to how deep and lengthy both Blake and Yang's backstories seem to be. Maybe they're just withholding information on purpose because information will come out in time, like in Volume 23 in twenty years when they decide to actually develop our characters properly and not scatter tidbits of information in between their shit priorities and their unorganized piece of shit plot they had no real coherent timeline of until they decided to shove a huge plot point they only came up with two seasons in, in season three as if that was a proper way to write a story whatsoever.

It's getting so toxic and salty that the best thing to do is to just get out entirely. Stop watching the show. Stop monitoring the fandom. Give up. Fuck it all. I love Weiss, I really do, but ultimately it feels like she's the only thing I do like anymore. Her entire concept intrigued me so much, and yet...it has all amounted to colossal disappointment, disappointment I'm tired of. I don't even like her in half the episodes anyway. I don't even know what they're trying to do with her. At this point she's just one of them "defrosting ice queen" stereotypes with nothing really unique separating her from any other character given this horrid shitstain of a treatment. Fandom provides 90% of all the potential I had hoped they would give her, but are falling short every single time. It's dumb. It's stupid. Fuck.

At this point the only real reason to stick around is that I invested so many hours and days and weeks of my time on the longest fanfic I've ever written, and for whatever inane idiotic reason I decided it had to be one this show, a show that has got to be the worst show, quality-wise, I have ever invested myself in. Even shows aimed at children as toy commercials do better. They're already transparent about their motives to take money from children, but a lot of the time they have some decent writing! Meanwhile a show whose purpose was apparently to be a cool badass show is trying to desperately bleed sponsorship from every single human-being on the planet and their dog for something that isn't even worth jack. 

The funny thing is nothing notable about RWBY spurred this rant. Oh no. I was going through the pony fandom and got incessantly annoyed. People that consider themselves intelligent "analysts" that over and over again either hate Pinkie's songs or just Pinkie in general. I was getting aggravated because I LIKE these analysts, but the difference of opinion was getting to such a grating point. Perhaps because I identify with her so much, or genuinely enjoy her songs (that AREN'T Smile Smile Smile! HA! MORE UNPOPULAR OPINIONS) or that Pinkie's goal in life just speaks to me so deeply. Even if she made a horrible pun or was written in a lazy, cop-out humour sort of way, the fact that she exists, the fact that she's trying to bring laughter, her ENTIRE EXISTENCE is a heartwarming miracle to me. My favourite episodes tend to be Pinkie episodes, especially one's where she's written well. When she's written well she's damn well best pony. BEST OF ANYONE ELSE, best even when others are at their best. That is the pinnacle of MLP right there, a well-written Pinkie, what the show is supposed to be, WHY I AM HERE WATCHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. I enjoy that Pinkie so much, I continue to watch despite some episodes that I truly dislike that I have to cast aside as a dud, and await the next week, hope next week is better.

And one harmless night I was browsing TVTropes, heading to the YMMV page which I generally agree lists tropes that are truly subjective, and I see something called "The Scrappy" next to Pinkie Pie on an episode called "Green Isn't Your Colour."

Meanwhile, I check the YMMV page for Filli Vanilli. I do not see "The Scrappy" there, I only see "Base Breaker"

So what you're telling me, website listing subjective tropes, that Pinkie Pie being "The Scrappy" a truly annoying, irredeemable character in Green Isn't Your Colour, in my opinion one of the top three best-written episodes in the ENTIRE SERIES, is something most people agree with enough for that to exist, but FILLI VANILLI PINKIE, is merely a BASE-BREAKER, in that some people ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO DEFEND HER BEHAVIOUR?

I have NEVER seen a single person bring up that Pinkie is ANNOYING or IRREDEEMABLE or whatever in GiYC! NEVER! Maybe they might think she is simply there to keep the plot moving in a rather nonsensical manner, but she's Pinkie Pie! And even if that defense isn't valid, and I cannot believe I HAVE TO DEFEND THIS, it's CONSISTENT WITH HER CHARACTER to be touchy with secrets/Pinkie Swears! She's had THREE OTHER EPISODES (Party of One, The Last Roundup, The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows) involving that subject! In fact, I love that episode so much because it's the prime example, at least in season one, of writing Pinkie Pie correctly! Where she isn't overbearing and intruding into the plot as an obnoxious distraction to bring comic relief that does nothing to progress the story, but CONTRIBUTES to the story in a way that fits her character and is genuinely entertaining! You can't tell me her FOREVERS coming out of nowhere wasn't the least bit funny! YOU CANNOT! The fact that she showed up in a mirror BLEW PEOPLE'S MINDS! It was near the beginning of the whole "Pinkie breaks physics beyond what we even imagined!" short of thing! It's a significant part of Pinkie, thank you very much!

And then, apparently, there are some people who did not like her. Wow, this is like, even more baffling than people who call "Pinkie Apple Pie" okay, or god forbid "terrible." I even heard someone say the humour became "stale" in that epi--EXCUSE ME!? THE HUMOUR WAS ALL-OVER-THE-PLACE! If one joke didn't make you laugh, another would because the jokes were different, fast-paced, unexpected and timed well! Stale would imply they were doing the same thing, making the same joke, over and over again! The fact that that person did not elaborate whatsoever just shows that they had no real insight in why they considered the humour poor! The fact that I HATED THEIR ATTEMPTS AT HUMOUR might be a big hint as to a reason why. I guess we don't share the same sense of humour, but by god SO MANY people I knew and see on the internet could at least agree if they had little to say of the episode, or if it was just okay, that it was at the very least, FUNNY!

Holy shit.

I don't know. Maybe I've been exposed to too many people with conflicting opinions in too short-a-time-frame. The concentration is ungodly. I am well aware just like literally any other character I like, that Pinkie isn't the popular choice, but my god. It's just difficult to grasp the difference in opinion when it is this great. Most of the time if I disagreed I at least could understand why they'd hold such an opinion. But it feels like lately I just do not agree and have no real way of rectifying that conflict whatsoever. I just see no valid points on the other side at all. It's utterly unfathomable. I am in disbelief.

Just so you know my top well-written episodes are something like Pinkie Apple Pie, Green Isn't Your Colour, and Sleepless in Ponyville. They are in my opinion, FLAWLESS, writing-wise, or as flawless as you're gonna get. Why can't every episode be like these? I could go into more detail but it is late, so I'll justify my choices in another choice. (Flawless-writing-wise doesn't mean another episode can't be better. For instance Sonic Rainboom is a really good episode, but I don't consider it flawless because I find Rarity's behaviour a but too much forced for the plot to work. The fact that her get-up during the competition looks atrocious when Rarity should know better in terms of design, really breaks the sense that this is what the real Rarity would do. I have no doubt she'd be this vain or whatever, but it felt like they made her look like crap just to drive the point further that SHE IS THE ANTAGONIST LOOK AT HER BE THE ANTAGONIST BY BEING UGLY OMGHFHFF!! But that is just one example.) 
spotto: (@_@)
 "What are you gonna do, erase the PinkieShy rant so you can write a PinkieShy rant?"
 
Evidently that is exactly what I am doing. Hello readers. If that quote did not reveal what had been written here before, I'll just flat-out tell you here! Yes indeedy, I am typing up a PinkieShy rant on-top of the one I started some weeks ago and never finished. Because I am THAT bitter about them that instead of finishing the rant from before, I'll just write a whole new one hopefully including some points from beforehand, should I remember, BECAUSE I AM THAT MOTHERFUCKING SALTY. 
 
I mean gosh, if that hasn't been obvious considering the NUMEROUS RANTS I'VE HAD ON FILLI VANILLI ON THIS BLOG ALREADY. Like, I have ranted on that over and over again, repeating points, bringing up new points, and forever puking out my displeasure of that ONE. SINGLE. EPISODE.
 
How. Why.
 
I guess the gist of it all is...PinkieShy is the ship I've always wanted. It's the ship I've always dreamed of. They have literally all of the aesthetics, personality, and interaction that I could possibly want in a ship, and that's what they are. 
 
...except they aren't. 
 
THAT'S WHY I'M SALTY.
 
Now you're probably wondering what the flying fuck I'm talking about. You see Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy are my two favourite ponies. They are best ponies, so-to-speak. Well occasionally Rarity usurps Fluttershy, but y'know that's usually regarding the quality of Rarity episodes to Fluttershy episodes. I don't tend to like Fluttershy episodes while I tend to like almost every Rarity one... it's just a thing because Rarity is written so-very-well so often. But anyway, while they are my two favourite ponies individually, the two of them talking, or being friends or whatever together, is like a pony dream I've always had. And it's that very fact that all of this is so sad, that I have to dream two main characters in a show about friendship, having some sort of friendship. You think entering season six we would have some of this so-called friendship the show claims to have that is part of a giant mind-bending rainbow beam of death that torments the likes of villainy everywhere. Now obviously they are not the only two who have been neglected by the show that would rather waste its time introducing brand new characters our infallible mane six have to convert to the religion of friendship and save them from their misguided ways. I thought Rarity in particular wasn't given much screen-time among many others aside from really just Applejack. She's had an episode with Fluttershy (which was really fucking good, mind you) and since Twilight has been the audience-surrogate for a while there was bound to be some Rarity-Twilight moments, though no episode off the top-of-my-head that focused on the two of them in particular. However recently we had some marvelous episodes like Rarity Investigates and The Gift of Maud Pie, that delve into Rarity with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie, a dynamic we've seen rather little of unfortunately.
 
That leaves us with very few duos left. I'm wracking my brain for them, since I want to believe my views on Pinkie and Fluttershy having little screen-time together is justified beyond just "THEY'RE MY TWO FAVOURITES DURR" so I thought of such duos like...like... 
 
Hm.
 
Let me go through them all just to make sure I've not been missing anyone. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie's friendship were featured first in Griffon the  Brush Off. Rainbow then gets an episode with Applejack showcasing their rivalry in Fall Weather Friends. She has a small amount of interaction with Rarity in Sonic Rainboom, but most of it comes from Rarity Investigates. The best Rainbow and Twilight episode in my opinion is Testing, Testing, One, Two, Three, and Rainbow and Fluttershy have had countless interactions together for whatever reason. They're both pegasi? They're childhood friends? Regardless Hurricane Fluttershy which is a grand-as-fuck entry in the MLP series is a wondrous illustration of their developing friendship. So that's Rainbow done with, since she's the easiest being shipped with absolutely everyone and every single one of those ships having a sizable following.
 
Twilight, second easiest can be pinpointed as well, aside from Rainbow she's had several episodes with Pinkie Pie, the controversial Feeling Pinkie Keen as well as It's About Time. She's had A Bird in the Hoof and that really boring Hooffields and the McColts episode with Fluttershy. The closest thing I can think of is Applebuck Season for AJ, but the two of them have appeared in the most episodes in the series of them all, so they're usually interlapping as strong supporting characters in one another's episodes. I can't think of anything for Twilight and Rarity in particular unless it's a Spike episode or something.
 
So there's one and maybe two, Twilight with AJ or Rarity.
 
Then there's AJ and Rarity, who have featured in many episodes with one another. Rarity's got the aforementioned Gift of Maud Pie for Pinkie and Green Isn't Your Colour for Fluttershy, where AJ has Bats! with Fluttershy and the greatest episode in the entire series, Pinkie Apple Pie, with quite obviously Pinkie.
 
So we are left with Pinkie...and Fluttershy. I'm gonna suggest the unfairness further, by any of Twilight's neglected relationships being not quite neglected, since she was the main star for all of season one. Pinkie and Fluttershy are never top-billing. They do not cause or solve the problems in those big giant two-parters. They are merely there to be support for Twilight. The closest these two have had an episode with one another are... Putting Your Hoof Down and Filli Vanilli.
 
Ah yes, Putting Your Hoof Down, where Fluttershy insulted Pinkie's very reason for being (and Rarity), called her an idiot, and made her run away crying. Ah yes, Filli Vanilli, where Pinkie terrorized Fluttershy and amplified her phobia tenfold, driving her to tears through her reckless insensitivity masked as good intentions. YES, THESE TWO EPISODES. I AM QUITE PLEASED BY THESE TWO EPISODES AS YOU CAN SEE, WITH THEIR WONDROUS POSITIVE INTERACTIONS WHERE THEY ARE THE BEST OF FRIENDS, THE GREATEST OF ROLE MODELS TO ALL THE CHILDREN WHO NEED TO LEARN HOW TO ACT AMONGST THEIR PEERS.
 
Listen. It's very obvious why I am salty. It's very obvious. It's giant letters in your face, in black bold font, of a highly simplified and readable typeface like Helvetica or whatever. I DO NOT NEED TO EXPLAIN IT ANY FURTHER.
 
Now see, the difference between Filli Vanilli and Putting Your Hoof Down, is that I only rant incessantly about the former. The latter, as poorly-written as the episode was (Suddenly everyone in Ponyville is a jerk, and two characters our little children girls are looking up to as guidance are manipulating and conning other ponies in an example of "assertiveness" for some reason) that Fluttershy's explosive tirade was immediately given a negative light and taken very seriously. Fluttershy becomes withdrawn, almost a hermit in her deep shame and guilt for what she had done. Pinkie Pie and Rarity meanwhile seem to instantly forgive her (pacing-wise at least, in a matter of two seconds apparently a lot of time had passed, but we are never given any scenes with the two to see them dwelling over their conflict with Fluttershy) as if they were good enough friends to not let such a momentously vicious and toxic fight ruin their friendship.
 
In Filli Vanilli, Pinkie's antics are funny. And she never apologizes. And no one takes it seriously. And when the show makes me, whose favourite character BAR-NONE is PINKAMENA DIANE PIE, want to MIDDLE-FINGER AND SWEAR at my OWN FAVOURITE CHARACTER, something is SERIOUSLY WRONG.
 
I truly will never understand why some of the most adorable, innocent little ponies like Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, would if you put them in a room together, would probably have a rather unhealthy friendship from all evidence you can pluck from canon in a series called Friendship is Magic. They are friends because the Mane Six are friends. They are friends by virtue of, if they weren't, Equestria would be doomed. They're like mutual friends. "But Spotto!" You ask. "There was that time in It's About Time (hurr) where Fluttershy was helping Pinkie Pie carry party supplies!" Yes, my imaginary child reader named Billy, you are correct! Except it was Fluttershy helping Pinkie Pie carry ALL of the party supplies, and Pinkie Pie seemingly not aware that Fluttershy should not be doing all of the work. Or "Spotto! How about that moment when Fluttershy gave Pinkie a butterfly massage-therapy thing!" And I agree! That is a great scene denoting their wondrous friendship. That very singular one scene of the entire series, that took place in the span of a minute.
 
I mean obviously there must be a reason I started to like this ship. It's as if I just wrote a manifesto of why PinkieShy sucks and would never work. That is untrue! They are my OTP after all. These points just highlight how very frustrated their "friendship" is, because the kind of friendship I like seeing the most is a happy positive character helping out a shy withdrawn character. All MLP has taught me is that if you're too extroverted you'll tire out an introvert, and if you're too introverted you'll bore an extrovert. Such friendship is IMPOSSIBLE. Do not attempt.
 
Season one was the beginning of hope, hope that never developed into anything, that was retconned into oblivion, but hope it did provide. You see, in an episode called "Griffon Your Brush-Off" it was established that Pinkie Pie understood Fluttershy's sensitivity and thus, respected it. She did not want to prank her because she knew it would hurt Fluttershy's feelings. That was the beginning of that hope, that yes, this extroverted character who can be too loud at times and do things without thinking so many other times, can still stop and for once, take into account the difference of another character. A pony who is shy, withdrawn, who does not enjoy what Pinkie enjoys. She respects that. When Gilda comes in and makes Fluttershy cry, Pinkie becomes incensed. She is determined to right what was wrong, that no one should bully and intimidate her friend like that. Pinkie Pie was not only understanding, but protective.
 
Of course in that very same episode, we had the Fluttershy "I'm a year older-than-you" comment. There were still small things that Pinkie did that crossed the line and annoyed Fluttershy, which is in-line with Pinkie's flaws, but the BIG ONE was there and the BIG ONE mattered. That making Fluttershy cry was no joking matter. Later on, in Dragonshy while everyone else was impatient and demanding of Fluttershy to get over her fears, that she was holding everypony back, Pinkie Pie once again takes the time to understand and sings her a song. She isn't negative and demeaning like Rainbow Dash, she is positive and supportive, trying to give Fluttershy a boost with her encouraging song. The best part is that it works. Fluttershy is no longer scared. She smiles. She accepts Pinkie's help. It's a lovely and wonderful scene. 
 
Finally we have the scene that probably cemented this ship for many of the shippers and that was Fluttershy out-of-nowhere, downright glomping Pinkie Pie in Over A Barrel. Before this happened, Fluttershy was the most concerned of them all that Pinkie had gone missing as well after the train-scene where the buffalo stole Bloomberg. Everyone else was concerned for Spike, who was in the carriage that was taken away, but Fluttershy for whatever reason was especially concerned about Pinkie. This surmounted when they went to rescue Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Spike from the buffalo. When Fluttershy sees Pinkie, she dives for her. This is inherently out-of-character for Fluttershy. When has she ever expressed herself in such an outwardly way? Pinkie Pie glomping Fluttershy is what we expect, yet it is Fluttershy who tackle-hugs Pinkie.
 
If we take all these scenes into consideration, we can perhaps assume that maybe over time Fluttershy has learned to appreciate that while Pinkie is so very different from her, she still understands and respects her for who she is and for that, Fluttershy is grateful. Fluttershy is glad she has such an empathetic and kind friend like Pinkie, who allows her to remain in her boundaries. It is this potential, this type of friendship I was looking so forward to. As I relate to both Pinkie and Fluttershy deeply, a friendship that worked so well among such starkly different ponies was heartwarming simply to think about.
 
...and then the writers promptly forgot about season one.
 
After those scenes? We had Putting Your Hoof Down. But that's okay. Fluttershy tore Pinkie apart, but that's okay. It's okay because they forgave her, and remained best friends. We had that scene in Too Many Pinkie Pies with the butterflies, which is nice. I'm annoyed it took so long for a small scene to display their friendship that wasn't really related to the plot, but whatever. Then. Then we had Filli Vanilli. 
 
Filli Vanilli, that took Griffon-Your-Brush-Off, chewed it up, and spit the incomprehensible wad into the depths of the ocean, never to be seen again. Once again, let me reiterate. The BIG ONE was what mattered. Pinkie knew making Fluttershy cry was no joking matter. Yet in this entire episode, all of her jokes were making Fluttershy cry...making her run away, have a nervous breakdown, basically an emotional assault of the most obscene manner, and that entire thing was written because it was meant to be comedy. That whole idea that was implied from those season one episodes, that even though Pinkie could be annoying and obnoxious, she still had the heart to see and realize Fluttershy's boundaries. They were shattered. They were disintegrated, as if that very idea never existed at all. As if Pinkie had been replaced by one of her Mirror Clones, as if this whole friendship I assumed, wanted, had evidence that they had, was never like that at all! 
 
YES, I WAS SALTY. OF COURSE I WAS SALTY.
 
And now that many duos within the Mane Six have been visited in some way, I'm still eagerly awaiting that Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy episode. Maybe it'll be a mundane episode that never brings up these worryingly problematic portions of their friendship, and assumes they've been the best of friends this whole time. Maybe it does bring it up, and it ends up being a friendship lesson for the one or two of them. Maybe it'll never happen at all, just like that Sayo backstory I assumed would happen in Negima. That backstory, that singular chapter, that day in the limelight most other characters had, but Sayo's was foreshadowed, as there were ideas and notes scribbled upon around the mangaka's concept art. That pactio that every character was supposed to get that would expand on Sayo that had been teased in a previous chapter, and that she'd be something more than a cute ghost and Asakura's sidekick. THE CHAPTER THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LEGITIMATE REASON TO EXPLORE SOME MORE KAZUMI AND SAYO THAT NEVER. FUCKING. HAPPENED.
 
It is here again. I am waiting again. An episode that may or may not come, that seems obvious they SHOULD focus on, that seems obvious they'd have an episode on before the series ends. That the series is SO VERY LONG OVERDUE ON, just like what I waited for before and never came.
 
If MLP ends without the Pinkie and Fluttershy episode, I cannot feasibly predict my levels of salt. I can assure you it'd be beyond any levels you've seen before, and all those Filli Vanilli rants would be nothing in comparison.
 
And so I wait.
 
And so I hope.
spotto: (koi)
 I remember many years ago I had said something very foolish.

"I don't ship in MLP."

WELL, THAT CHANGED.

It changed quite quickly actually. My OTP became PinkieShy. And then I said:

"I only ship PinkieShy."

That ALSO CHANGED.

In fact, between that time and now I had actually tested a few ships to see if I'd like them, like forcing myself to read TwiDash and RariJack fics and hoping I'd like them. I liked the person's writing and the concept and all that jazz, but never really found myself growing to like the pair itself. I thought I would only really ever care for PinkieShy which was A-OK. Then...the harem emerged.

Harem, you say? Well, these are the MLP ships I have now...

"PinkieShy (OTP), TwiJack, RariDash, Rarilight, RariPie, Rarijack (sorta), Sunlight (so long as it's FG!Twilight), LyraBon."

Look at them Rarity ships. About the only pony I don't ship her with is Fluttershy. 

I also said this quote that too is very untrue now.

"I am not a RWBY shipper."

And lo and behold, my opinion is as follows...

"CHECKMATING, MOFOS!!! FREEZERBURN (which should really be called Wang Schlong because I am a mature and sophisticated adult) WHITE ROSE! WEISS WITH EVERYONE EXCEPT MALES!!! BICYCLE BICYCLE BICYCLE!! LADYBUG IS COOL TOO!!!"

Heck, there was also a time in my days as an early Touhou fan where I only liked some characters and cared not for any romantic subtext! Why, it's a bullet hell shooter! The dialogue is barely there and what there is of has no hints to any romance whatsoever!

And now I have these ships:

"KENEMOKO!! YEAH!! HijiriMiko is the best hate!ship and anyone who says otherwise is WRONG. AyaSanae, my official rarepair love."

So yes, no matter how low of an opinion you have of these obnoxious people who put fictional characters together, I AM ONE OF THEM. It is a sad reality that goes way back to when I was but a mere teenager. And also there will never be het. Het is for silly mainstream people with no creativity. And also also, they shall all be girls. Girls will reign over all. What do you mean I'm currently in love with the incredibly manly and beautifully bara (that does not imply I ship him with other manly people. No one else in RWBY is MAN enough to be worth Sage) Sage? I do not ship him with anyone. His love is his very boring sword that doesn't transform into anything. 

Speaking of MEN. Everyone in RWBY is unmanly with the sole exception of Sage. There's the boys and the old guys, but none of them are manly. They desperately try to force down our throats that this character named Qrow is supposedly manly, but for me they have failed spectacularly. He has this voice that is trying too hard to be manly by having Qrow speak in this way 100% of the time like he does it on purpose as if he were Christopher Nolan's Batman. It makes him sound far more lame than natural. He also has a stubble which is also trying too hard to be manly because you see, this stubble is not consistent. If he were to have a stubble, he should also have manly chest hair to match. But for whatever reason Qrow has chosen to either shave his chest hair or not show it whatsoever, nullifying what manliness he could've contained. He's also constantly drunk and manipulative, while upholding his ego among his juniors who are practically children. He is also outwardly perverted around these same children who happen to be female. That is not manly at all. It is truly a disappointment in the MAN department.

Sage meanwhile has no stubble and no chest hair, but still manages to be manly. He is a man of few words, which adds to his air of manliness. Unfortunately his team is not very manly. Scarlet comes close, but sadly he is a boy to be laughed at as if he were man being hit by football. Sun is almost manly, but he is far too goofy and talkative to be manly. I give him manly points for being very respectful of Blake when she was having problems during volume two and had no time to attend a silly dance with him, and so he is the closest to the paragon of manliness that is Sage. Neptune is the opposite of manliness. He is very vocal about his love of females and is a jokeworthy character beyond that of Scarlet. Port, who is too much of a funny geezer old man to be manly, has mentioned that team SSSN is a manly team, but he must only be referring to Sage alone, which makes sense as Sage alone can mistaken people to believe the rest of his team is also manly.

Despite Sage's supreme manhood, he is not the manliest character. That honour goes to Yang and Yang alone. Neo rivals her.

As for the old men, several of them are far too cryptic to be manly, including Ozpin and Cinder. Ren is quite manly, but he has not reinforced his manliness very often, having a low presence though I believe he prefers to be subtle. Nora is very manly, and would win the man awards if not for Yang and Neo.

......oh, where was I?

AH YES SHIPPING.

I like shipping. I will readily admit that. What the fuck am I typing here anyway. This is why I should not down Monster energy drinks. I think my other point here is to point out what a shipping hipster I am. Not that I ship popular things before they become popular, but rather I always ship the alternate ships. NEVER THE MAIN SHIPS. DOWN WITH MAINSTREAM!!! Bumblebee? Nope. Rainbow Dash with anypony other than Rarity? Never. A ship with the main characters of Touhou? WHAT ARE THOSE!? I spit into the majority's tastes! HA!

I also grow melancholy about my rare!pair ships, mostly PinkieShy and AyaSanae but especially PinkieShy. Once upon a time Pinkie respected Fluttershy for the sensitive timid pony she was, and next thing I knew they were tearing down each other's feelings and bringing each other to tears. When canon changes so subtly from Fluttershy glomping Pinkie over to being the most opposite and incompatible of friends, my hopes fade. One day pony will air a PinkieShy episode and I will rejoice. Of course, this may be a hopeless cause, just like that one time when Negima was supposed to have a Sayo backstory chapter due to the inevitable Negi pactio and then ending before that could ever have the opportunity to arise. It was even foreshadowed! Much salt was spilled.

 Let's ask a question! I say as I continue this incredibly disjointed blog post! Do I have a typing and if so why is it not inherently obvious like "the happy one" or the "misunderstood" one?

You see, my current fandoms are pony and RWBY and my favourite characters are stark opposites. There is Pinkie, the perpetually happy glee-bringer of Equestria. Then there is Weiss, hated by many for starting off as unpleasant and bossy. Well the answer is quite simple you see. When I first decided to watch MLP, which is already a difficult obstacle to overcome because if you know me I avoid starting off TV shows and cartoons as if they are the plague, it was because it was a time of sadness. Being a long-time fan of hockey and putting so much passion and hope into my Canucks winning their very first championship in their forty-year history, having all that crash and crumble all because of a single lost game that had it been won, would've led to the ultimate goal, truly destroyed me. I avoided all sports media for months and needed a pick-me up. Ponies were there. They were everywhere actually, in the year of 2011. I knew it was at the very least, a happy series. And so in that show I looked for anything to make me laugh, to cheer me up. There a character existed whose whole purpose was to raise your dimples and make your day. Her name is Pinkie Pie. She was exactly what I needed at the time and thus, will forever be my favourite for truly making me smile.

Meanwhile I first saw RWBY as trailers made by an awesome dude who animated this other series called Dead Fantasy. My expectations were only of "cool awesome action to entertain myself with" and then a trailer that colour-coded itself as White came along and blew away all my expectations. These lyrics imply a STORY, with this CHARACTER who is lonely, sad, lost, and aimless. She wears beautiful white, which contrasts so wonderfully with red like the shades of blood. Her fighting style was so elegant and deadly, and yet when I peered into her eyes I only saw an individual who might have been emotionally fragile. One who seeked kindness and happiness that a childhood should bring, which it felt she never had. Then she said her first lines in the show as she was the only one of the four to never say a word in any of the trailers, and I realized she wasn't merely just a poor little princess who needed friends...she was a poor little princess who needed friends with a HUGE AMOUNT OF PRIDE and a wall that blocked all that may make her feel vulnerable. She wasn't just a pretty little sympathy trophy...she was a CHARACTER.

I love these two characters for completely different reasons and that's great! 8D

Then there's Touhou, but that's filled with so much headcanon that I really have no clue how to explain why I like any character. For instance, Keine. To most Keine just serves the role as a teacher character, kind of like the many teachers in Beacon or Cheerilee, the teacher of the CMC. But yet, I saw unlocked potential in what backstory she could possibly have, as it wasn't explored very much, yet there was so much to explore. She was at the time the only hybrid human/youkai character in the game, in which her youkai form had an identity. (Meanwhile Rinnosuke, being also a half-human was only a "generic" youkai so speculation was lost) Her ability was also one of wonder. How broken could it possibly be? She can alter history itself? She can erase history? What does that MEAN? Why is this so vague, like with every other aspect of Touhou's lore!? And finally, she is Mokou's only friend. She even came to defend Mokou from the protagonists despite Mokou being eternal and immortal, thus never being in danger whatsoever. Yet Keine cared enough to make sure she didn't get hurt. That's just ripe shipping potential. Plus in a world filled with amoral orange and blue morality jerkasses, Keine's kind of a breath of fresh air. Even if in canon she's an incredibly dull teacher. P:

Miko is just a glorious arrogant ham with the best cape and hairstyle ever. The only real saint to me. ;) I think of her as a less angry and more accomplished Vegeta. (Byakuren is Goku. I will never let that crossover go. [fyi Shou is Gohan, Nazrin is Piccolo and Futo is Nappa. 8DDDDD) The Buddhists and Taoists are just the Gensokyo version of DBZ to me hahahaha.

i'm gonna abruptly end this rant because i had no clue what was i doing starting it anyway so.... bye

HAMSTERS.

Oct. 25th, 2015 11:02 pm
spotto: (Sooooolo)
 Ya know what I hate? What I really really really hate? Something I'm about to rant about through all my unbridled rage?

Whenever cute cuddly little animals are featured on some mass social media site like say Reddit for instance (but they are by far not the only offenders and obviously it's not every single user ever that has this same opinion) people tend to react first foremost to how cute and cuddly they are, and then depending on how educated they are about the animal, comment on the animal's demeanour and how good they are as a pet.

Oh wait no they don't.

They squee at the cuteness and then destroy the reputation of said animal via their own misguided experience. Oh that's right. I'm talking about hamsters, folks. Every single goddamn time a hamster rises up to the front page, there's someone proclaiming that they are nasty, vicious, sociopathic animals that bite all the time, eat their young, and are basically the spawn of satan. They are horrid animals not to be trifled with. Then many others agree and the cycle continues. People begin associating an animal with certain flaws and despite how little they deserve such treatment, they are now infamous for whatever it is they do.

Let me start by saying nature is by default, vicious. It does not give one little fuck about whether or not something an animal does is cute or friendly. Animals need to survive and they have all found their own little ways of surviving. A lot of the time the result isn't pretty. For hamsters, it's when they judge the chances of their young surviving the next few days. How much food have they stored? Is the weather decent? Are predators constantly about? If this risk is far too high, they cull the weakest of their lot. The sustenance they obtain from the weakest make them stronger and give them a better chance of raising the survivors. The littlest ones too brittle to withstand the next storm are spared from drowning. That's just how life is for the little critters.

So now they are pets. They haven't been pets for many generations. The Syrians, the largest kinds, have been the longest but not even for a full century have these hamsters been tamed. The dwarf kinds are even more recent than that. They will still retain a lot of their instincts from the wild, including the culling of their young. Humans are foreign, strange beasts to them with an unknown, threatening scent. If they had even the slightest hint of those humans on their young, they would cull them in an instant. There was no way they could survive what attack those large hairless giants had. Or perhaps they are okay with their human owner. They've been handled for a while and trust the food the human provides them from their fingers, but maybe that food isn't enough. They know they themselves will give birth to the young soon, but the proportion of their food has been the same as always. The human is often inexperienced and has no way of telling if their little critter might have babies, especially if they've misidentified the hamster's gender or the pet store did. Suddenly the little pups are here, but with what food they are able to consume, it isn't enough to keep all of their little young alive. They don't realize the human would probably up their food content, so they cull the babies or at least some of them.

Or maybe they DO have enough food, but they live in a tiny, tiny environment. The exercise machine touches the walls and takes up most of their flat, and they cannot possibly see how they could share this small bachelor pad with five or six more rugrats running around. They do not know what the world is like outside this small room, so they cannot possibly realize the strange human may relocate the babies when they are old enough and thus, they cull. Whatever reason a hamster has to eat their young, it is always an instinctual reason. They were not given such survival methods because Satan or God thought it was humorous to see the humans gawk in horror at their cute little pet committing the grave sin of cannibalism. They were given such methods because that was the only way to ensure the safety of their strongest young, who may end up growing up to mate with the next generation and pass their mighty genes along.

As for the biting, well what the hell would you do if a massive thing stretched out their colossal claw above your head? A smart person would take such a dangerous movement to be life-threatening at first. There was no way to tell this massive thing was friendly, and if you guess wrong you'd be flat as a pancake with no second chance at changing your mind. Obviously a little frightened hamster would squeak, hiss, run, hide, and especially bite as a means of defence. Hamsters are prey. Their ancestors had their lives cut short endlessly due to so many factors that it only makes sense these reflexes and reactions originate deep in their DNA.

And no, I would not say hamsters are the most rewarding pet to own. They are not dogs that will run to your doorstep, eager to greet you inside. They are not cats who act as lazy, independent pompous creatures that remind their owner so much of themselves. They aren't even rats, who each have their own unique friendly personality and are dependent on a second rat companion for the full richness of their lives. But they are hamsters. They're cute, cuddly, and they're not difficult to tame. I cannot stress that enough. Of my thirteen hamsters I've owned, only three were not tamed. One was a dwarf hamster who sadly lived the shortest of the bunch and the other two were roborovski hamsters that I mostly viewed as opposed to held, as most robos tend to be kept. (One day I'll handle a robo hamster consistently...) The other ten were tamed. Most of them were fine being held the moment I got them because of how young they were, but the best story I have is of my current hamster, Esper.

Esper was a biter when I got him at first. He didn't look very young in the tank when I saw him. He wasn't a juvenile, but he also wasn't fully grown as he grew larger under my care after a few months. So it's safe to say Esper had been in that pet store for a while. I had asked the store lady if I could handle the hamsters, but she gave an excuse that they sleep in the afternoon and so it'd be better to come in the morning. While that is mostly true, the fact that a pet store clerk would not let you handle a pet to see what their temperament is like is a bad sign. It usually means the hamsters aren't handled regularly and aren't tamed, so they may bite. And well, if a potential customer is bitten they can't sell their hamsters, now can they?

Regardless of that red flag, I brought home Esper anyway. I decided to let him get to know me right away by letting him into my hand and then right after putting him in his cage. He bit. I left him alone in the cage for a week or so before I began the taming process. This process is one often recommended and there are numerous guides, whether written guides, video guides or the like, but there are many on the internet. There's stuff like spending time with the hamster in the same enclosed playpen, usually a bathtub. The best tip I used was wearing gloves. The hamster could bite all they want and realize it does absolutely nothing unless they like tasting leather constantly, which cannot be pleasant. I eventually was able to handle Esper with my bare hands after a couple of weeks, but he wasn't fully tame. For one thing, he confused a tendon in my wrist as something to chew at first, and that bled pretty profusely. A few days later he was eating a wet mealworm off my hand, and assumed the juices left on my palm were more of the mealworm, and nibbled on that.... yet more blood. But after putting on a band-aid and continually handling him for thirty-minutes each and every day, he finally associated my hand and my body as me, and never bit ever again. Even if my hand smelled like food, he knew it was me and never bit. Even if I enclosed him in both hands like a trap or whatever, he was never afraid. He didn't try to claw his way out. He knew it was me. He became incredibly familiar with me. I cannot tell you how wonderful it feels to bond with a hamster properly. Though it takes work, it feels so much better than just being able to hold a hamster right away. 

I earned Esper's trust. He trusts me. I trust him. It has gotten to the point that Esper would relax on my hands, or sit quietly on the couch with me without running all over the place or whatever because he knows I'm there and that he's safe. He is eager to see me, like a dog, whenever I walk by the cage. It's probably because I might give him food, but sometimes it's because he wants to come out. He actually wants to spend time with me. He even licks me as he grooms sometimes. I partially think because he doesn't care since he's also grooming himself that his tongue might land on my hand, but then he just licks my hand without bothering to clean himself sometimes. The level of closeness I feel with Esper is awesome. I've never had such a level like this before. My other tamed hamsters could be handled, but they would never relax in my arms or lick me affectionately. I also never attempt to handle Esper when he's actually in the cage, so I respect the territory he has and that is probably another reason he is so relaxed and friendly towards me.

It's truly a special relationship. That's what having a hamster is like. I've never had a dog or a cat before and I'd love to have them, but for what I have right now, it feels pretty sweet. People who blame their pets for their pets' problems are not the type of people who can understand these animals and probably do not deserve to own them in the first place. For whatever reason it gets increasingly more difficult to understand this the lower the intelligence level you go for hamsters. I will be the first to say hamsters are pretty dumb, but they're not like goldfish you can only admire from afar. They can be held. They can be pet. They can be cuddled. And I know for sure, if you've earned their trust, they like you too. Such a thing with an animal that hasn't been bred to act a certain way for hundreds of thousands of years is pretty special indeed.
spotto: (@_@)
The second half of pony season five has been going on full swing! I have surprisingly generally liked it. The most recent episode has been the type of episode I'd been eagerly anticipating for quite a while now, Pinkie's FAMILY! Not just her sister who came out of nowhere Maud, but her entire immediate family. Unfortunately I cannot say this was one of my favourites of the second half of the season despite the content of the episode being something I found interesting due to some weird and stilted writing or character-decisions here and there. My favourite Pinkie-based episode is still "The One Where Pinkie Knows" which was the last episode and that had a fairly light premise that'd be hard to stretch into twenty-two minutes, yet they managed it with the excellent comedy. Though I can safely say it comes in second, though not by too much. Including Pinkie's map episode with Rainbow, this is Pinkie's fourth episode this season, though again you can say she shares it with AJ like her map is shared with Rainbow, but that's still more than RD herself, Rarity, AJ, and especially Twilight (one episode so far) and Fluttershy (zero!). Though thanks to the goddamn leak I know next episode is a Fluttershy one. (Is the Discord episode considered a Fluttershy episode? Since we only have six episodes left and the finale is always a two-parter it probably is.)

Anyway, I digress because I do want to discuss Pinkie's family. Waaay back in season one when I first watched Cutie Mark Chronicles by far the most unexpected Cutie Mark story was Pinkie's because her origin not only came out of nowhere but has seemingly no real influence on Pinkie herself. When you look at this super hyper pink rocket of happiness you don't immediately think of the word "Amish." We don't really get another glimpse at Pinkie's family until Maud's sudden appearance in season four, and she seems to have carried on the Pie family tradiiton of being very involved with the topic of rocks, a tradition only Pinkie has broken. A few people were disappointed by that episode because they were expecting the introduction of Pinkie's sisters who had appeared during Cutie Mark Chronicles instead of a whole other sister, but then Maud turned out to be a fan-favourite and we get an episode about whole family a season later! It's win-win!

As for this episode, well...it was apparently written by the writer who did Party Pooped which was not an episode I was especially fond of. Like I've mentioned before even though Pinkie is my favourite pony she's also very hit-or-miss for me. When she hits, she hits hard and I declare her best pony of all the land, but when she doesn't everything falls flat. You see when I was younger I was very much involved in that whole cringeworthy internet phase where I would say the word cheese or spoon or whatever and find random humour hilarious. I despised that phase. Whenever Pinkie falls anywhere close to that type of so-called "humour" I simply gawk like a shocked bystander instead of enjoying the episode like one is meant to. This is why after I finish an episode I always pay attention to whoever wrote it afterwards if it's a Pinkie episode. Just to see if they happen to write Pinkie again if she'd be the same flavour from before. Certain writers get Pinkie down pat and those are the ones I wish Hasbro would employ for however long the series lasts. It's a gamble usually because writers who have favourite characters they like to write tend to get the episode with that character and sometimes that's not a good thing, personally, if I don't like their Pinkie brand of humour.

But to each their own as Twilight said this episode. Pinkie wasn't too bad anyway, not at her worst. But whenever she isn't at her best it's always a disappointment to me. The episode involved a lot of callbacks and while continuity is good, basing your comedy on callbacks is always a risk to take. If it's the exact same joke as before it's not really that entertaining as we've seen it before, but if it's your own original take on something that happened before, it's downright hilarious. Unfortunately too much of the former happened instead of the latter. Pinkie's multiple limbs on-screen happened again for instance, but aside from adding more limbs there wasn't much of  a twist or change to the gag, it was simply repeated straight. Applejack was bewildered unlike last time when no one reacted but her reaction was rather subtle and easy to miss, especially since most of it was in the background, so it didn't have much of an impact. Same with Maud's "singing" at the end of the episode. I was hoping she's just sing deadpan instead of calling her reading out a poem as "singing". It was simply a repeated gag from Maud's original episode.

Applejack explaining why Hearthswarming existed was just an entirely wasted scene when you could've used that screentime to develop more of the large cast of the episode. The first Christmas-themed episode had an entire play based on the tradition, so the audience already knows why it exists, and Apple Bloom was there watching too! I hardly think Apple Bloom would forget considering her sister was part of the play as well. They typically don't fall out of your memory. If it was exposition meant for the little kids in case they forgot...well that's a pretty poor reason. Little kids would just associate the Christmas-clone holiday as...Christmas, so it's not a big deal if they know the origins or not. (And if they follow the show, again the episode for that already exists!) The gags where Pinkie and AJ repeat the same things or AB/Pinkie eat very messily (or take a bite out of the exposition prop) felt like a very juvenile, typical little kids show gag and I have come expect better from the show than that. I also find AJ repeating everything Pinkie says rather out-of-character. There has yet to be a build-up to AJ picking up Pinkie's quirks. She just suddenly started doing it. It'd have been more believable if it wasn't quite as long (like the second time they did it) or if they had more of a reason to repeat the exact same things (again, like the second time they did it) so there was that.

But of course, the biggest reason anyone would be excited for this episode is PINKIE'S FAMILY! Here are some shockers.

1) Pinkie is not the youngest, like I had predicted.
2) Maud is NOT THE OLDEST, like I had predicted.
3) There are indeed twins in the family, but it's not between the two-until-now-just-introduced-sisters-who-had-somewhat-similar-colour-schemes, but of PINKIE and MARBLE.
4) Limestone is the oldest, though she looks shorter/younger than Maud. (It's those eyes!)
5) The oldest is at first not your typical "nurturing motherly wise eldest sibling who takes care of the rest" but rather aggressive and angry. She is however in charge of the farm, so she must still be the one who takes care of everything, just with not the personality you'd expect.
6) Marble is Fluttershy.

I don't think their parents are quite that old that Limestone should be the one calling all the shots (you'd think it'd be the father or something) but she must have that domineering bold personality that allows her to take charge anyway. Perhaps her parents are in the "retired" territory. ...people retire on farms right? That doesn't actually sound correct to me. The stereotype is that farmers are poor and farmers retiring doesn't make sense as they always need to work to make a means. This is why poor farming families have lots of children, like the Pie family, so there are more hooves to work. I guess Granny Smith doesn't work on the farm anymore and Applejack calls of a lot of the shots but Granny Smith actually looks old enough that she probably shouldn't have those jobs anyway. She may be somewhat forgetful and obviously doesn't have the strength, but physically I do not see that coming from the Pie parents. Ah well. Mayhaps a lifetime of hard labour has forced them to pass the responsibility of the farm to their eldest daughter sooner rather than later. Who knows.

Speaking of the parents, they spoke more Ye Olde English than I expected. I don't even know how Amish people speak, but I don't think it'd be jargon from the Middle Ages? I dunno. The fact that they essentially met due to an arranged marriage makes sense, aside from the choosing stone thing, but if they work on a rock farm...

This episode was basically Apple Family Reunion + Pinkie Apple Pie + Maud Pie + Christmas put together. I did like Pinkie Apple Pie and Maud Pie better though. Anyway it was a sweet story. Maud was on point as per usual. I liked Limestone. Marble was basically what happens if Big Mac and Fluttershy had a kid that was somehow mixed with Pie genes...uh, but the fandom seems to be super-shipping those two. (It was cute, but ehhhhh not fond of the "THEY'RE BOTH EXACTLY THE SAME THEY MUST BE IN LOVE!!" type of shipping.)  How Pinkie interacted with her sisters is quite interesting as well. She seems to really look up and respect Maud (which is why I thought Maud was the oldest) while she sort of scoffs at Limestone like what two quarreling "love-to-hate hate-to-love" type of sisters would be like, and then she seems to be super protective of her little Fluttershy twin which might explain why Pinkie likes to call herself Auntie Pinkie Pie around Fluttershy when Fluttershy is older than her, pft. So it's like Pinkie shows off every stereotypical sibling trope with each of her sisters! It's awesome! 

I guess another reason I thought of Pinkie being youngest and Maud being oldest (aside from Maud not being there in the flashback, thus I assumed she had left for boarding school for rocks or whatever and she was the one old enough to leave) is because Limestone reminded me a bit of Buttercup. That one scene when she has that evil grin towards Applejack attempting to drink her rock soup especially. That aggressive personality feels like the stereotypical bratty middle child who acts like so for attention as they tend to be the unfavourite, but hey, plus scores for avoiding the normal stereotypes! It makes everything all the more interesting I say! After all, Applejack is the middle child and she is DEFINITELY not the unfavourite in her family, hahaha. (That Big Mac episode is still most emotional episode ever. I don't care how much Pinkie and AJ cried this episode. That one scene in Brotherhooves Social was so poignant!) Speaking of which I did find Pinkie and AJ crying a bit too easily, especially when AJ "cries on the inside" and Pinkie has demonstrated her stepford smiling so heavily before. I think they would cry in this episode yes, but Pinkie did it twice and AJ cried pretty openly (in that cave, sure, but still she ran away to cry. That's not something I expected from AJ...but WHAT IF SHE ACTUALLY DOES THAT!? That's some pretty heavy implications. Everyone thinks AJ cries on the inside, but really she never wants to show any "weak" emotions to others being the one responsible of the family and all, so when she can't take it she runs away to cry. Aw that's sad. D: ) 

I need to bring up the twin thing again. When spoilers came out about Fluttershy having a brother, I was wondering if he should be older or younger or what have you. I thought about possibilities that'd make the relationship more unique. Since aside from RD, Fluttershy having a sibling means there are no only children in the cast. (RD is honourary big sis of Scootaloo now too, so it's almost like there are NO only children) and with a cast of six you'd hope at least one would be an only child and I thought Fluttershy would be the perfect candidate, but noooo. I guess RD has to take the role now. Anyway, since there were already two big brothers I figured Fluttershy could have a younger brother, but then I thought "how about they're TWINS instead!?" or maybe her brother is adopted! Or maybe to make it even more interesting, Fluttershy is the one adopted! No one does that, now do they? Or maybe they're BOTH adopted! Or they could be half-siblings or even step-siblings...THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS I SAY! Well, I don't think they'd quite go into "foster sibling" territory as that's too dark, but you get what I mean. 

And all I've done is basically made that no matter what form of relationship Fluttershy has with her mystery brother, I'll be disappointed...because I came up with too many interesting possibilities that I doubt the show would touch on. But then, Pinkie ended up being a twin instead! Granted, she's a fraternal twin, but there aren't too many fraternal twins in media, especially same-sex ones. They're usually opposite sex because you cannot have identical opposite-six twins, but somehow media portrays them very similar-looking anyway, so it's pretty different. Plus, one twin being prominently featured and the other being minor never happens in media. TWINS MUST ALWAYS BE TOGETHER! So that's another cool thing I liked about it.

Of course the prospect of a twin sort of brings up some inconsistencies in the earlier seasons. Someone on a Reddit comment mentioned that the plot of Party of One suddenly becomes a little harder to believe. It's one thing to forget your own birthday, but if Pinkie is a twin that means she shares the birthday with her twin! That makes it even more unbelievable to forget a momentous occasion like that! Even if Marble doesn't have the most noticeable of presences, Pinkie never forgets other ponies' birthdays, so why would she forget Marble's? It is indeed a very good point. But that was four seasons ago and it's a pretty minor point. I like Pinkie being a twin, so I don't mind that it makes Party of One a bit harder to swallow. I guess in the flurry of Gummy's after-party and her own psychotic-break, forgetting her own birthday (and her twin's) is a thing that can happen! Anything can if you're Pinkie Pie. 8D

And considering how bizarre the Pie family traditions are maybe they didn't even celebrate birthdays until Pinkie started with her parties. Of course since she in her whole young life also never celebrated birthdays she may have never associated parties with birthdays until she moved to Ponyville, so remembering not only her own birthday but her family's birthdays probably isn't something high in her priority list. It's only a theory though, nothing concrete to answer how Party of One can be. 

Oh and another thing. A lot of people are like "HOW IS PINKIE RELATED TO THIS FAMILY SHE MUST BE ADOPTED" because of them all she does not do the rocks and also she is bright neon pink in the middle of dreary greys, but considering Pinkie when her hair is down she does look related to them all. Her natural not-balloonified hair is similar to the straight hair a lot of her sisters have, so Pinkie just happened to come out with lots of recessive genes or something. 8D She shares her eye colour with her mom though. (I think Maud does as well... and I understand Limestone needs LIME eyes 'cause duh but I wonder where that colour and Marble's lavender eyes come from. Igneous Rock's eyes are the same as his coat colour...and his grey hair looks like his original hair coloured greyed instead of being his natural)

....I just realized Pinkie's dad is bald under that hat. (He isn't wearing it when sleeping) Maybe they ARE older than I thought...thus Limestone being in charge! Huh.

Anyway I thought the episode was decent and its content made me type all that out, but I thought for what it was it could've been much better. I've certainly liked and hated episodes more than this one I could've super ranted about, but because PINKIE'S FAMILY OFMGFGMFGGM this post exists. Sooooo, yeah! This been Spotto and such.

EDIT: The writer of the episode does not consider them twins. He thinks they were all born like a litter, kind of like a cat or a dog... uh. That's not how pony birth works. If pony birth isn't similar to human birth than twins would be incredibly rare.  Plus we've had twins in the form of the Cake Twins, so I always assumed since this is MAGICAL PONY LAND that they would have babies similar to humans. Plus every sibling we've seen until now appears to have an age-gap of some form (Rarity/SB, the Apples, Twi/Shining) so it implies ponies have one foal per pregnancy like real horses do. So Pinkie and Marble must at the very least be twins...but since he seems to think ponies show up in litters, I wonder if the writer is possibly implying they're all quadruplets or something. THE POINT IS CANON IS A MESS SO WHATEVER, THEY'RE TWINS!

EDIT 2 A DAY LATER: "Well technically it's never said who's oldest in the episode so anything is still possible." Alright the writer kinda retracted their statement. I"M SURE somewhere out there like in a con or another twitter we'll one day find out for sure who is the oldest or youngest. As for Maud. her not being in the original flashback (probably being independent pursuing education or something) but then SUDDENLY appearing in the picture frame OF Pinkie's first party in Pinkie Pride sort of breaks that theory, but even then in that picture Maud looks the oldest of the four sisters. SO WHO EVEN KNOWS AT THIS POINT. Even canon is hopelessly inconsistent! What I do know is that Pinkie and Marble are the youngest. The other two's age-status is pending.

EDIT 3: Okay even the director said Limestone is oldest. I WILL STOP STALKING THEIR TWITTERS NOW.
spotto: (Sims - Awesome :D)
Ah. You know what happens when you return to the world of nostalgia? You begin seeing things; things you may never have seen before or if have, never properly ranted about it. This is not one of those rants, unless I discuss my unending quest of discovering whether or not Max has ever worn pants. No, this is a cumulation of frustrations new and old! A pattern that has developed across almost every single one of Spotto's fandoms and favourite characters! A pattern that begins (or mostly, anyway) at Beyblade, an Anime of the past, an Anime of nostalgia, an Anime of great experiences and friendship and one of the first, but most definitely not the last, the first thing I joined as part of the periphery demographic!

And I will tell you why I'm part of it, but not before I illustrate to you, dear non-existent readers, the injustice of media.

I remember back in the day when my favourite character was Rei. I was a young'un back then, replacing terms and names of great beings and deities with Rei's name. I had shipped him with Kai, I recall, and watched and rewatched each and every one of his episodes wherein he shines the greatest. I had friends who shared with me these glorious views and our cult was flourishing across the vast lands of the early Internet. As an old relative of yours may have once said, those were the days. We marched forwards in pride, hoisting our flags high as we declared our love for our one true ship, defending it from what the future may hold. The first season and especially V-Force were kind to us, aiding us in our battle whether they knew it or not as the friendship among the two blossomed. It fueled our massive battleship and propelled it through the seas. We were invincible! We were triumphant! We were the rulers of the Beyblade sea!

But I was not an OG member of this ship or even this character. Oh no. My first love, the being who brought me onto these perilous lands in the first place, invading a peaceful space for little ambitious boys to buy their toys and empty their parents' wallets. I remembered as I kept my salutes high and my loyalty in place, a smaller, more modest, more grounded ship across the bay that I had took my first steps on when I first came to this great land. It called to me and my heart reverberated. I boarded a boat that very night and said a silent heartfelt goodbye to my comrades on the ship as I sailed to a home I held dear. There it stood, as I sailed for many hours, a smaller, older, lightweight ship. It was not the battle-heavy beauty wherein its bow and stern seemed to stretch from sunrise to sunset, with hundreds of thousands of cadets and sailors ahoy, proud of their daily duties. But as I recalled, it was home. 

Though a humble abode it won not many battles, it controlled not much territory, but it existed and welcomed new members with open arms. The friendliness of the embraces that I had received on this very ship brought tears of powerful memories to my eyes. I could not bring myself to ever return to the glory of where most of my comrades stood. This was where I belonged. And so, as I scan through the rich history of this small ship's few records, I can begin my actual rant.

I remember being very annoyed that this series was the Takao and Kai show. It wasn't quite like that at the beginning, but by the time G-Revolution rolled around you knew which characters were focused on the most. As I was a fan of Rei, I languished in the knowledge that so long as Rei was not on Takao's team, he would lose. Heck, even if he was on Takao's team, he'd still lose more than usual. In the first season his Driger (I will call it Byakko to differentiate it from the blade) had left him and then later on sacrificed itself to shield Rei's body. (How it came back as it wasn't part of Tala's army of beasts, we will never know) Then in season two he had it stolen from him by the Saint Shields. Takao in the meantime has never lost his bit-beast (unless the movie is canon) despite being the least experienced Blader of the two and somehow rising to the highest ranks the fastest. Kai has lost it once, to Zeo, but otherwise he kept a firm grip on Suzaku and aside from the time he willingly cast it aside for a stronger, edgier version, such heartbreak was not often felt. When you were without your bit-beast, you were weaker than the others. You had to wait until the rest of them fight the opponent and eventually return your greatest ally, your bestest friend, your bit-beast. But Rei was lucky.

Of the four bit-beasts, Byakko probably had the greatest autonomy among them all. Or at least it had demonstrated the greatest autonomy. Not once did the other bit-beasts leave or shield its owner. Kai had desperately needed it in G-Revolution, but the bit-beasts barely existed that season. Yet Byakko has saved Rei's life not once but twice, and has re-evaluated his owner's worth as well. Meanwhile the few times Dragoon has been uncooperative with Takao (unless the movie counts, again) it simply remained in its blade like a poorly-trained Pokemon as opposed to literally running away. Byakko was quite the bit-beast, I must say. And so even though Rei was given the short-end of the stick in season three, he still had moments where he was the star of the show. He was such a radiant light that he, and only he, had these type of episodes that were largely unique. He had episode forty-nine of the first season, where he almost died trying to tie the best-of-three match against the Demolition Boys. He had episode thirty-eight of the second season, where even though he lacked Byakko, he fought valiantly anyway because a bit-beast wasn't everything to his beloved sport, but that he would do anything to get it back anyway. They were wonderful episodes that showed the viewer how amazing of a character Rei was. He was diligent, stubborn, and never gave up. He had the wins and unique situations to back it up.

So why did I sail away on a little boat back to where it all began?

Rewatching the show reminded me of the one character who instantly took my heart the moment I set eyes on him. Cute adorable little Max. And unlike Rei and definitely unlike the other two, he has no moment to shine at all. At least, not a moment where he beat the indescribable odds and won some ultra-important match that was of great significance to his growth as a character. That doesn't mean he didn't have episodes that focused on him; they just didn't make as much of an impact like the other ones. Max did not fight a battle without his bit-beast to earn his partner back. He did not almost die to keep a series going. He wasn't the one responsible for defeating the Big Bad of the season. His so-called magnum opus performance ended in a tie. Max's episodes were the ultimate "throw-the-dog-a-cookie" episodes. Oh, he'll never win the race. He'll never be the favourite, but by God we gave him a cookie so at least he'd still be happy. He'd still be his optimistic, cheery little self despite winning the least of the four main characters. No wonder he became more serious as time went on (Maturity? What do you mean?) No wonder his final battle was laced with the beginning steps of angst and depression, but even that battle was just throwing the dog a bone. He will never have the prize. He'd have to remain satisfied, in the background, with his participation award.

And well, we all should have known this pattern was going to remain when we see his very first official battle. Max vs. Kai. This battle is all about Max because Kai was obviously going to win. The entire thing was set up so Takao could get his just desserts in defeating the cocky, sourpuss, cold Kai. Yet this was also the battle Max received Genbu. Now unless you're one of Takao or Kai, if you have personal investment in a battle it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to win. First Kai defeats Max easily because he's Kai. Then Max shows off his strategist, tactical nature by launching his blade in the other direction to absorb Kai's finishing move and thus winning the second match. By the third match, Max has replaced his bit-chip with one within his pendant given by his grandma, which is rather convenient. Now, if you were the main character, this would be the catalyst to victory. You now have this great new power that no one has seen before. You'd think by that logic Max would win this match or at the very least tie, since that's exactly what happened when Takao's Seiryuu first appeared and at that point Takao was still less experienced than Max. But no, Max's Genbu shows up and all Kai has to do is summon Suzaku and the whole trump card was for nil. Max loses. Oh, but at least he has a bit-beast now, so it's all okay! Max isn't too sad. In fact he even tried to give Kai a handshake after which because he's such a preciously nice boy. So nice that even the cold-hearted Kai couldn't simply just walk away from. It's amazing what this boy can do.

Now repeat this formula over and over again and you have Max's battles in a nutshell. Sure, he beats Michael during his character-focused arc, but everyone gets their own character-focused arc where we learn of their backstory and motives. It's not unique only to Max. And frankly the PPB All Starz are the most forgettable team of that season anyway. The most interesting character was Max's mom. They even introduced some new guy in season three because of how boring this team was. Beyblade's American stereotypes are awful. Then Max gets an upgrade to his Beyblade, the infamous Draciel F, and I will educate you plebians of Draciel F's might despite winning like practically zero battles during its existence.

It was Draciel F who held back the ridiculously edgy and somehow powerful Black Dranzer (with its fifty-thousand stolen bit-beasts to boot!) during the Kai-redemption episode. Max doesn't actually win on his own though since the whole point was for original Dranzer to knock some sense in his owner's head. Then, as soon as we saw Draciel F's ability Max loses Genbu to the Demolition Boys right after and we never see Max's Beyblade again this season. Welp. They realized how little it was used in Season 1 so by the time V-Force arrived Max was the only one of the four to keep Draciel F for the entirety of the Psykicks' arc. Seriously he doesn't get Draciel V until over halfway through the season! And here, he gets to beat the random scrubs Team Psykick sends out (while losing constantly to Mariam and co. mind you. Kai tied with Dunga and Rei eventually beat Joseph, but noooooo, little Maxie can't win any of his early battles unless it's a random kid!) and finally we have Max's little nonsensical battle with Jim at the tower. Like holy crap, this fight.

I have very mixed feelings about this fight. You see, of the four Max is the only one who doesn't have personal investment in this Tower Arc. Kai's fanboy friend died and he needs revenge. Rei's chasing after some girl because girls. Takao always has personal investment because he's the main character and he fought Kane in a super even and non-cheating heated battle earlier. Besides Takao has abandonment issues, of course he has investment. But Max? Well, too bad so sad. Regardless despite Max's outdated Beyblade and his lack of any plot-related reason to win, he still pummels Cyber Draciel like a little squishy bug over and over and over and over again. And for some reason does this with such reckless and wrathful intensity it's like Max should have had some sort of personal reason! Seriously! For no reason at all Max gets really mad and expressive this battle! FOR NO REASON AT ALL! He acts stubborn and unlike himself...FOR NO REASON AT ALL! Was his friends in danger? Did someone betray him and now he was unleashing his hidden fury unlike anything before? Max has never looked so angry! He has never looked like he wanted so much to win until this fight! BUT WHY!?

And of course, being the water Blader and the smart one, Max begins to suffer from Mercury Syndrome. 

What is Mercury Syndrome? Well if you've seen Sailor Moon you may know what I'm talking about. Sailor Mercury was famous for her seemingly-useless bubble attack in the first season. This was justified by how Mercury fought with her brains and with tactics instead of sheer force like the others. Her bubbles would distract or impede the monster somehow and give the team the upper-hand to destroy it. In the finale of the first season, Jupiter has just died and Mercury stayed behind to hold the somehow unbelievably powerful DD girls back. (Why they weren't used at the very beginning we may never know) Jupiter being the strong one killed two of them in her kamikaze attack. Venus would take one later on after saving Moon, whereas Mars gets a badass "I'm not done yet!" scene where she torches the last two. Mercury gets none because the girls were constantly falling for the monsters' illusions of their loved ones being taken hostage. Even if it was obvious that this was just an illusion, it was effective enough to make the girls' hesitate and it ended up being Jupiter's downfall. So instead of killing off one of the DD girls', Mercury's last stand was to break the jewel on the monster's head to stop these illusions. She then dies, fulfilling her role as the smart one.

Congratulations Max you get to sacrifice Genbu in the name of tactics! He destroys the bit-beast repair system that was allowing Jim to battle Max over and over again. (And like the illusions in Sailor Moon, even if you could just CHOOSE to not accept the challenge again it was still better to rid of it entirely) I mean imagine if Cyber Dragoon was revived over and over again. That's a Godzilla movie waiting to happen. Then of course, his endurance runs out and Max isn't able to defeat Cyber Draciel a third time and he loses his bit-beast. Of course he does. It's just how it works. How do you demonstrate to the audience how dire the situation is if someone doesn't actually lose their bit-beast? I mean sure they had to cheat over and over again to do it, but Max didn't have a plot-related reason to win so even though he absolutely pulverized his competition, he has to sit in the sidelines just like at the end of Season 1 and wait to get his Genbu back. The sad tale of Draciel F ends here, in heartbreak and tragedy. You were a tough Beyblade, Draciel F. You just suffered from terrible luck.

Oh yeah and Max gets punched in the face. That was cut from the dub, but between Dunga and Rick in season three Max sure suffers from assault more often than the others in this series. By the way the two of them share the same voice actor in the dub, so if it weren't for the cuts you could just designate this guy as "the person who voices all the Max abusers".

...Moving on. The series knew it shafted Max during this arc, so he got one all for himself in the next two episodes! The first one was promising. Max reunites with his old friend in America, Alan. We get super adorable glomping and flashbacks. Then it turns out Alan is a little jealous beetle and steals the super amazing bit-beast rock from Max's mom's laboratory and Max is betrayed! It's set-up rather nicely. There's even GTA-esque chase scenes, bazookas, and machine guns all over the place because MURICA yo! Except the machine guns were cut in America. Yeah I don't get it either. Then the second episode was the let-down of all let-downs. Like come on! So Max finally receives Draciel Viper, and isn't behind the times as he used to. (Takao gets V2 like two episodes later. This getting obscene.) He uses it to defeat his friend Alan and...ugh. Let me rewind a bit.

First of all, Alan did this so he could get a cool bit-beast and be on the level with Max, but the person he was working for of course didn't actually do their end of the bargain, so Alan just has a boring normal Beyblade during the impromptu tournament. Also this announcer has a cap with the letters USA on it and the most awful of accents you could ever hear. I know dubs hate silence in Anime and need to fill it up with as much obnoxious dialogue as possible, but geez he was already a terrible stereotype in the original Japanese version. Why would you make it even worse when you're the Americans!?  So anyway, during the actual battle Max fights his old friend but he's so incredibly distracted he almost loses to a normal Beyblade used by a criminal. Wow, Draciel V that is not a good first showing at all. Draciel F may not have won much battles but it had spunk! It was tough! The fact that Max had a whole new upgrade to his Beyblade for this battle and still ties with Normal McNormalson is very worrying. Then eventually he realizes how stupid he's being and destroys Alan like the little insignificant character he is. (Seriously nobody cares about this guy) And no bit-beasts ever appear. 

It was very anti-climatic. Because Alan was ripped off, he wasn't using some massive dangerous force which would've been a great foreboding preview of the next obstacle our main characters would face. Instead it was just a normal Beyblade that made Alan seem all the more pathetic. Meanwhile Max expresses himself greatly and is all the more pumped up for the JIM battle several episodes before, but not this one with the emotional and personal investment. I just don't get it! I just don't get it at all! The first episode set it up so perfectly! The build up was amazing, but the actual product was a crippling disappointment! No wonder no one remembers or cares about you, Alan! I even read a story that had to use an OC to be Max's stray friend instead of Alan! Gah!

Luckily this season isn't all bad for Max. I mean aside from his adorable design upgrade. The best part about the Saint Shields arc was undoubtedly Mariam. When we saw our first female blader in season one it was the sadly stereotypical Mariah, who was as pink as she could be and was basically a girl version of Rei. We finally see another in Emily, but she's only slightly more memorable than the other sports-related characters of the PPB All Starz. Hiromi shows up in season two but she doesn't even beyblade which is frankly disappointing. Mariam is our first good female character in the entire series and is probably the only good female character in the entire series! (Alright Salima was okay as well, but really aside from the two) I will not get into how bad G-Revolution was in developing a character outside of the ones directly related to our main cast until later. She had snark. She had personality. She clashed with her teammates (mostly Dunga) and she had character development too! (Too bad in Beyblade when you have character development you automatically become GOOD IS DUMB and become the next victim of the Worf Effect to the next bad guy in line) And yes, that is how I got into Beyblade! I watched the Max and Mariam episode when they got stuck in a building! I saw a really cute awesome male character with a really beautiful awesome female character! Their designs were nice! The plot of the episode wasn't mindless tournaments and top spinning! We had character development for Mariam! Max gets to be a protector despite being the weakest/cutest-looking of the group! It was different! It was great! IT WAS THE ONLY ONE OF ITS KIND IN THE ENTIRE SERIES! AND THIS IS THE EPISODE I SAW THAT HOOKED ME! THIS EPISODE IS WHY THIS RANT EVEN EXISTS! THIS EPISODE IS WHY I AM HOW I AM NOW!

Why if you went back in time and did something seemingly harmless and insignificant, but it was enough for me to miss this episode I may never have met the friends I have. I may never had joined fanfiction and continued my beloved hobby of writing! What could I have been instead? This was the best episode in the entire series. 

Then Max beats Mariam, she finishes her character arc and all is downhill from here.

Well okay, not necessarily. I do think my least favourite arc of V-Force is its finale however. We get introduced to King and Queen (and no one likes them @_@) because we need characters to fill up a tournament. Do you know how much I hate that? Introducing characters to fill up a tournament? They did that tenfold in season one, but it was okay because each tournament was a setting for each character's backstory, so not only do we learn a great deal about character of the arc, but also the team they face and are associated with. (With the sad exception of the PPB All Starz) Unfortunately we do not really have that for this season except for Zeo and only Zeo. This arc was just ZEO ZEO ZEO ZEO ZEO. The entire season we've had this theme with fanboys and friends who you thought were your friends, but ultimately they fall to the wayside because of their great jealousy of the Bladebreakers. They end up saying YES to drugs (Don't tell me the Psykicks weren't a euphemism for a drug cartel. All those kids were high as fuck) Yuuya/Wyatt dies. Alan goes to jail. And now we have Zeo! Zeo is different because he's actually a robot that Zagart wanted to turn human with the divine power of the sacred four bit-beasts. You know the manga story is a lot more deep and tragic. Zagart stole the first rock thirty-some years ago, but Zeo could not have possibly existed back then. Did he already have the ambitions to bring to life his own mechanical creations way back when? It was a lot more sloppy than the manga story, where Zagart lost his first son, Zeo and forced his second son Leon to adopt the name Zeo so he'd basically become Zeo in his place. 

Anyway, Max teams up with Takao (with Rei and Kai being together) in this sudden tag-team tournament. HOLY CRAP! MAX IS WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER! He's bound to win now! No, he's bound to be tie-breaking fodder so Takao can get all the more glory. :|

Max beats Queen though, somehow. His mind can make his Beyblade spin the other direction just like that. Hey remember way back in season one when he had to slot in his ripcord backwards to make it spin backwards so he could beat Kai? Remember when these tactics actually existed? Yeah they're not coming back in G-Revolution either. Anyway we didn't have the screen-time nor the significance to give Kai and Rei their own super powerful semi-final/quarter-final victims, despite the numerous characters introduced this season. (They were Worf Effect fodder to King/Queen and Zeo, sadly) Oh Zeo has a partner, but he has no characterization whatsoever. He's just there to be his partner because this arc is ZEO ZEO ZEO ZEO ZEO. Then Kai loses to Zeo (Rei has to tie because it'd be absurd if he lost Byakko even MORE) and then we get to the finals match. In some form of crazy miracle, Takao went up first with Zeo's cardboard cutout partner that Rei couldn't beat. So we got Max up against Zeo! YAY!

And he proceeds to DESTROY Zeo! YAY!

And then Zeo summons Suzaku. Not yay.

WHAT HAPPENED TO DRACIEL F'S AMAZING RESISTANCE VERSUS EDGY DRANZER WITH HIS ARMY OF BIT-BEASTS IN SEASON ONE!? Draciel V you suck! (Despite this, Heavy Viper Wall is forever my favourite attack from this series. It's so beautiful) But yeah Max goes first against the biggest threat so the threat's trump card defeats him and makes the situation even more dire. Oh and Max loses Genbu AGAIN. The poor boy just wants to keep his turtle, man! Why is that so hard to ask? And then Takao the main character wins yadda-yadda boo hoo wah wah wah.

Season three is a clusterfuck. I know lots of people love this season,  but they mostly like it for the DBZ-like action and the non-childish (AKA incredibly attractive) designs of the characters. I mean yeah, season two had far too much animal wrestling, but this season didn't really fare better with its stock footage attacks. What is this, Sailor Moon? Basically whoever has the most optimal timing with their stock footage attack wins. I would reiterate back to season one when we had actual real tactics that might really work if these spinning tops were real, but those days are long gone. The first half of the season is a tournament arc and then the second half is a matchup against the BEGA characters. Sigh. Remember when I said I hated tournament arcs for introducing characters solely for the tournament? Unlike season one we don't get the "tournament is a setting for the character backstory". Instead the so-called appeal of the season is that the Bladebreakers are no more and must fight one another. Therefore, Takao needs a Takao-clone to be his new tag-team partner (AKA Daichi) which is really what this series needs. I mean, really. I will never understand these shounen shows.

Max gets a brand new character because of how boring the PPB All Starz are. And since we need our regular serving of Max assault we get the Dunga expy, Rick. Rei and Kai return with their old teams, their partners becoming the heavily nerfed Lee and Tala. (Because they can't outshine our main characters after all!) For whatever reason we need to replace the Majestics with the Barthez Battalion. (Why? I have no fucking clue. There was nothing wrong with the Majestics. They have lovely personalities and probably would've been my second favourite team if they were ever given screen-time.) Aside from some awkward abusive coach arc with these four characters we literally know nothing about them. Whose favourite character is Claude anyway? The only reason someone might like them is because of their designs. Matilda has a fucking hedgehog bit-beast. That's fucking amazing. F Sangre had potential to give us a brother-sister duo we wouldn't hate with all our might, but they didn't really go anywhere either. Am I forgetting any team? Were there really only six teams in this tournament? This is sad. All of this is very sad.

You got this sloppily organized tournament with characters we really don't care about (unless you like their designs!) all so in the end we have a Kai and Takao rematch. Wow. Amazing. Max and Rei aren't allowed to win against either Kai and Takao (who must WIN ALL THEIR MATCHES!!1!!!! Unless of course Takao isn't actually trying and loses in a non-epic intense manner) and when you pit Max and Rei together instead of some intense epic battle of who is NUMBER THREE in the Bladebreakers, we get a "teach Rick teamwork" episode. Don't get me wrong I like the episode, especially Lee randomly winning, but that's so sad. I thought the appeal was to see the old team fight one another, but we don't get to see who of Max or Rei are better? It just emphasizes all the more how much this tournament is just to show off Kai and Takao before they fight one another. (If you really didn't want to reveal who was better make Max and Rei tie and have Rick and Lee be the tie-breaker. THAT'D BE INTERESTING AND DIFFERENT!) THIS IS SO SAD. WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE THIS SEASON!?

Well I imagine it'd be for the BEGA arc if anything. Did I mention Takao's brother by the way? I find his character absolutely pointless for this season. He makes sense in the manga because he shows up in the VERY BEGINNING when Takao is a rookie beyblader. Why would Takao need a goddamn mentor after he's become a two-time Beyblade World Champion? Where the hell were you when he needed you way back in season one? He's just here to be a cryptic (and random) ninja who decides the best way to make Takao better (when he's already the very best) is to train the BEGA bladers. In terms of personality he seems rather bland. He's just there to be eyecandy and the generic mentor person. My god. Oh and after we had such a great character in Mariam in season two we are given an insulting excuse of a female character in Ming Ming. She just sings, magically transforms to be older (like some sort of pseudo-magical girl transformation) when she Beyblades. What is her personality? To be cute? What the fuck.

Then you got Moses (and the dub finds renaming him Crusher the smartest of ideas. WHAT PERSON NAMES THEIR KID CRUSHER!? I mean sure, what person names their kid Dunga or even names their kid Moses, but you tell that to the millions of dudes named Mohammed) who is given a whole sob story about his ill sister, so now Rei's OPPONENT has the personal investment instead of him, so he's destined to win instead. Even though we're all supposed to be sympathetic and such to him, he is still technically working for the BAD GUY. His side isn't supposed to win! 

Then there's Mystel! Who is he? Where does he come from? We don't know! His name is Mystel! That means he's mysterious. His entire persona is being mysterious. Yay. Oh, but god forbid this mysterious gentleman loses because Max ties against him. Max has to tie so Kai can get his revenge against Brooklyn and Takao wins. (God forbid Takao loses or ties!) That way a tie-breaker between Brooklyn and Takao could happen (this entire battle was so what) and it's just. RARGH. You know what I would've done? Max would've WON and then Takao would've tied against Garland. Then Takao and Brooklyn could be the rematch! THEN EVERYONE GETS SPOTLIGHT! Because Max never wins a battle he has an emotional investment in, unless it's that piss-poor of an excuse fight he had versus Alan in season two or the one he had in season one that everyone pretty much had anyway! MAX. WAS. GYPPED!

I'll breathe.

Yes. That Max vs. Mystel battle was another THROW THE DOG A BONE battle. Max didn't win. He doesn't get to win. He's not the main character! He tied so the plot can go on, but he couldn't get the elusive victory no matter how hard he tries. He's always the underdog in every battle but that doesn't seem to do anything for him in terms of helping him win! The crowd cheers for him anyway (and the dubbing of this crowd is so sad I just want to melt into a drain and disappear into the ocean) because that was his bone. He didn't technically lose and the people still like him anyway so he can be back to his happy, cheery self. NO WONDER ALL THOSE MAX FANFICTIONS I TRIED TO READ DEPICTED HIM AS SECRETLY DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME! WHO WOULDN'T BE AFTER ALL THIS!? You can't win! You don't win! Yet you keep up your cheery shell anyway! That's probably why Rei GOT ALL ANGRY this season because he too doesn't win as much and he had to let out such a humongous amount of frustration trying, over and over again, to win. Even if he had the backing of his team and the little symbolism tied around his arm that for ALL ACCOUNTS AND PURPOSES, if this was ANY OTHER SHOW, Rei would've won and defeated Kai! BUT NO! THE PLOT SAYS, KAI MUST FACE TAKAO! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT BONE YOU THROW OR WHAT PERSONAL INVESTMENT YOU HAVE!

YOU! WILL! ALWAYS! LOSE!

And that is why there isn't a season four of Beyblade.




spotto: (WOOP WOOP)
I JUST WATCHED THE POWERPUFF GIRLS 2014 (or 2015 I can hardly remember) SPECIAL, DANCE PANTSED.

And surprisingly, it was not utter crap as I had feared it would be.

This is also the first time I ever saw it, despite knowing its existence when it was hyped up those many months ago. I suppose from seeing the previews and the new design I found little motivation to actually watch it, dismissing it rather early on without giving it more of a chance. (I thought the preview clip was terrible) But one thing I can say is that it was actually better than the ten year anniversary (or fifteen, I can hardly remember) special from several years back (2008? idk) which I rather despised. (Despite my icon depicting a scene from that episode P: ) Unfortunately one of the biggest problems with that special remains in this one, though perhaps not to such an extent, the pacing.

In "The Powerpuff Girls Rule" everyone talked so blindingly fast they sounded like chipmunks, as if whatever plot and content they had intended for this episode needed to remain in this episode without any cuts, so they instead pressed the fast-forward button to cram it all in. I remember back in the days of the original series, when they'd have a hard time finding content to fill the twenty-two minute time slot they adopted for a while, particularly in the fourth season. You'd have a scene of the Professor in the lab working, and we'd spend five minutes on some overly long gag where the girls are trying to give the Professor a note or removing his items from the counter. There was no dialogue, just sound effects of their heads popping up and down. It was pretty obvious the writers were used to writing their eleven minute episodes, so they had fun filling up what they needed in case their plot wasn't thin enough. These specials however, felt quite a lot like they wanted to throw in as much as possible to appease nostalgic fans (I guess?) and so in order to do so, crammed it all in.

Luckily Dance Pantsed wasn't quite as bad as Powerpuff Girls Rule in that department, but compared to the original it was still too quick-paced for my liking, as if all the dialogue was shoved into my ears and processed through my brain like an obnoxious child shoving a lollipop into my face. The biggest gripe about this special in general is probably the new design and animation for everything. CGI isn't necessarily terrible, just like Adobe Flash isn't necessarily terrible, but in both these specials if you don't do it well it looks especially glaring when it's bad, which both are prime examples of. Powerpuff Girls Rule used Flash and everyone looked like one-dimensional cardboard figures trying to speak on top of each other all at once. The CGI in this special felt...off. It was almost like the animators wielded so much power they had to animate every single thing possible, leading to several "still" shots (It'd be still shots, but it was too fast-paced for such terminology) and the girls or other characters would be constantly blinking, their pupils zipping around staring at things as if everyone has ADHD and their heads would move around like they had some sort of nervous tic. It was seriously unnerving seeing them all like that, not to mention on top of the picasso-like redesigns that made it look far more uneasy than charmingly bizarre.

The plot however, wasn't too bad. To someone who has never seen this show before they'd probably wonder what the writers were smoking, but PPG generally has a lot of rather surreal episodes with such absurd plots you'd wonder if the writers were smoking crack. Since the special was probably meant for a seasoned fan, we'd be used to such ridiculous events. I'd have enjoyed the plot so much better if again, the pacing was handled properly. There were certain scenes I especially liked though, like Buttercup being smashed so hard she went through the Earth's core, screaming during the mantle and grunting humorously through the crust. Bubbles landing in the world's largest pillow on top of that was a nice touch on how I feel the series treats the characters respectively, but I highly doubt they were commentating on such a fact and the gag was just that, a gag. I also especially liked Bubbles' conscience manifesting as Blossom and Buttercup. I had hoped Buttercup would show up as a devil instead though, cliché as they may have been, but it wouldn't have made any sense. Bubbles' comment of "Oh no! My sisters are tiny! ...and dead!" was delivered wonderfully.

As for the voicing, I could clearly tell the VAs themselves were older with the exception of Bubbles because Tara Strong is hax. There's a reason that woman voices in everything. Buttercup sounded lower, and thus older, but I didn't mind too much because that still fit with her character having such a voice. If she wasn't still five-years-old it might actually have been fitting, but again wasn't all that out of place and I still like E.G Daily's wonderful rendition of Buttercup. Blossom on the other hand sometimes sounded perfect, sometimes sounded strained, but especially sounded over-acted. I thought about it for a bit, and if the animation was still like the original probably wouldn't have minded Blossom's constant need to sound morally superior and righteous, but in this animation it felt like it didn't match with how the character looked or her expression at all, which is partly due to the designs themselves and not so much the voice actress, but still.

Now I never actually elaborated on the designs earlier, just the animation itself, and that too is a heavy point of contention against the special. By God did it look bizarre. I was imagining how a child channel surfing would think of seeing this randomly on the television, assuming people still do that nowadays what with the cable cutting. Frankly if I saw it randomly as a child I may have gotten nightmares in my sleep that very night. I actually don't mind whoever's responsible for the looks' intentions, because if the animation itself didn't look so uncanny valley-ish maybe it could've worked, but at the same time it was still something I had to take in as well as the fast-paced nature of the episode and the slightly-off voice-acting. It was frankly a tad too overwhelming because of it. Also, why does no one comb their hair? It's like, combined with the fast-paced nature of the episode, leading to the speed-talking and the nervous tics/random blinking that the entire cast of characters had several cans of Red Bull before filming or something. Seriously! I hope the 2016 reboot at the very least fixes the pacing issue of these two specials. I can't take much more of this chipmunk like fast-forwarded kind of animation. It feels like it fries my brain.

Oh, the 2016 reboot. Did I mention that earlier? After watching Dance Pantsed I actually prefer its designs over the 2016 reboot despite the reboot looking far closer to the original style. (At least of the girls, the Professor looked too frazzled for my linking. HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A SQUARE DAMNIT!) The CGI versions at least seem creative and daring, while the 2016 reboot designs look lazy and uninspired. They don't look different enough to be interesting, nor similar enough to the wonderful style of the original to be good either. They just tacked a few extra accessories or little tabs on the characters and called it a day. With the outlines of the characters being less thick than before, any glaring mistakes in the art style would be all the more pronounced, whilst you could hide a lot of it and instil a lot more imagination with the original style. 

I found a random forum thread about the 2016 reboot and By God was it full of vinegar. I could not believe how many pieces of flying radioactive poop were being flung around because of various issues like why PPG would even need a reboot during a time when literally everything and their dog were getting reboots, or why the original VAs were replaced by new ones. I don't particularly mind new VAs so long as they sounded similar and not annoying (or like chipmunks. PLEASE DON'T HAVE SUCH PACING ISSUES, NEW SERIES!) but I do agree Cartoon Network's handling of the issue was pretty piss poor, having not even told the old VAs themselves they weren't returning when they implied a reboot might happen after Dance Pantsed. For them to see this pop up no doubt on the media or internet before being told privately beforehand would hurt quite a bit, I'd think. The voices of the three are pretty iconic in my mind though, being a nostalgic viewer but I'll keep open about it. I'm especially worried about Buttercup for some reason. That Tommy Pickles voice is just too Buttercup for Buttercup to not sound like that. The voices were so unique and I hope they don't go for some "generic lowish Tomboyish voice". I guess the nasally or gravelly or however you can describe it, nature of her voice is what I think will be difficult to imitate.

Bubbles too would be difficult but having seen the fan crossover MLP animation, Double Rainboom, there ARE talented enough people that can sound exactly the same as the original Bubbles. Is this new voice going to be one of them? Who knows, but I now believe it's actually possible. High-pitched voices can't be emulated just by having a high-pitched one yourself, even in this high an octave voices sound distinct. 

Blossom also would be a challenge to live up to, just because a normal-sounding confident female voice wouldn't cut it. By God I am too attached to these voices, hahaha. But hearing how Dance Pantsed went, the original VAs aside from Voice Not of this World Tara Strong did sound like they were no longer spring chickens, and reprising such a role might make the voices a bit off. But what do you choose, a bit off or something similar but completely new? I just wouldn't know until I actually hear these voices.

By the way, I would never be commenting on all this if I haven't been on a PPG binge this past week. A wave of nostalgia hit me like no other, and I had to rewatch everything. Luckily I own the entire series on DVD! At the time when I bought it I was slightly regretting it because for some reason a poor person like me had sixty dollars on hand, and remarkably during this very brief, mythical time-period I had nothing to spend the money on. What madness, I say, when nowadays I'd want that money to fix my computer, laptop, phone, obtain more hard drive space I desperately need, purchase various useless pieces of plastic I don't desperately need and everything else you'd use money on. So I walked through the DVD aisle and found the PPG boxset and bought it on impulse. But I am glad for such an impulse buy because this is a series I'd love to rewatch, filling my childhood with such joy and violence. 

Violence! Having rewatched it now (not all of it, I just finished season two P: ) I saw this review on a few episodes and it pointed out something that happened quite a bit in the DYNAMO episode but is a prevalent theme throughout the series, casual death. Like, there's a scene where a blimp is hit by a beam and catches fire, and it crashes down onto the stadium below. This normally would already be a rather troubling sight for a kids show, but you actually hear screaming during this sequence. Not to mention the various people being shown actually being eaten and never recovered when the monster was killed and basically we were seeing random helpless citizens dying on screen without any censor at all on a children's television show. This really was created by a college student meant for older audiences (its original intent) wasn't it? Regardless as a child I NEVER NOTICED THIS AT ALL. I was just like YAY DYNAMO AND PUFFERFISH ARE FIGHTING, BADASS! 

This kind of casual violence and black comedy occurred even in the movie, which sparked a few well known comments from critics on why a kids show was so bloody violent. (I still love the car gag where it smashes into a building as a guy is hitting on a girl by telling her about this car, omg) And when blood itself (not just in a random assortment of alien colours to dissociate it with real blood) but actual, red human blood is shown in the series, it's quite a theme indeed. (Bubbles' wiping the blood off her mouth in Bubblevicious is one of my fondest childhood memories) but hey, if violent video games don't cause kids to grow up to become psychopaths, this show shouldn't do it either! 

So it's all the more amusing when PPGZ, an anime based on PPG and sent back to the Western Audience with a dub, that they censored out violence in certain episodes. Yes, the Mahou SHOUJO anime with really no real sense of violence whatsoever and is filled with cutesy, girly plots, was CENSORED for violence in certain episodes (the Kaoru's father wrestling one is a prime example) when it's based off such a straight-laced unabashed violent show itself. FOREVER AMUSED, I AM. That's like all sorts of levels of irony which I don't know if I'm using such a word properly, but who cares!

Which leads me to another point, the dub didn't retain the original voices from the original show, and when I did listen to it I heard screechy and irritating teenage girl voices that put me off ever attempting to watch the dub again. I think it's such a missed opportunity for the original VAs to not voice them considering how different the personalities can be. Hearing original Blossom geek out about Anime and boys? My fucking god what could that have sounded like? That Clipsville episode where they're teenagers with the RRB is the closest example I can think of, but instead of a manic nerd it's more valley-girl idiocy than anything. Hearing Bubbles not...be Bubbles would be kind of interesting I guess, hearing that high-pitched voice being proper and polite and the like, though not quite as jarring or hilarious as Blossom might've been. Now Buttercup I would've loved to hear as well even though Weeb B-Cup and OG B-Cup are the most similar of the three, just 'cause Kaoru acts like some sort of shounen protagonist being all hot-blooded about spirit and inspiring young children to never give up. OG Buttercup is supposed to be the unfavourite bratty middle child, to hear her be a role model would be interesting at the very least! 

Yeah, I can't mention PPG without the PPGZ even if many purist fans either hated it or never gave it a chance in the first place. I can't blame them as it's such a stark genre shift, especially with the changed settings, changed origins, changed familial relations, and especially the changed personalities, but what can I say, I'm a masochist for nostalgia. (Except Sailor Moon) Blossom turning into the standard shoujo-protagonist instead of her usual self is rather disappointing, but I really do like how Momoko is designed with her hair like so especially, so if I could somehow ignore her boy-crazy selfish ways I'd be fine with her. (She feels like a combination of Moon and Venus, but without any of the character development and maturity they had, soooo yeeeeeah) In fact the easiest way to describe the personality changes is that Blossom had all her maturity sucked out of a hose, which was then sprinkled onto her sisters. It explains everything, like how Buttercup is no longer bratty but more like a voice-of-reason role model and how Bubbles is absolutely perfect, leaving her childlike ditziness behind just for plain ol' purity. 

And yes, despite the massacre of Blossom's personality it is actually Bubbles' changes that I dislike the most. What can I say? I love OG Bubbles. (This doesn't stop my brain from shipping, but we'll discuss that later on in this post >_>) OG Bubbles is just so quirky and funny, and well, Weeb Bubbles simply isn't. The writers may have tried to make them similar but I think they missed the entire point of Bubbles. Sure Bubbles is girly and innocent, especially in contrast to her sisters, but that's not the core of her being. She can become violently angry and is a little slow at understanding things compared to her sisters. She's the most emotive of the three! None of these points are touched on whatsoever in the Anime, with maybe the exception of the slowness, but that was only around in the early episodes and it made Weeb Bubbles seem off with her head entirely in the clouds as opposed to charming and amusing. It actually feels like Weeb Bubbles emotes the least of the three girls because having extreme emotions isn't what a proper Japanese lady should have! Damn you, Yamato Nadeshiko trope! Damn you to heeeeell!

And then there's Buttercup.

If I despise Yamato Nadeshiko in Anime, there is one thing I find the exact opposite, the Bokukko. I love the Bokukko. And well, Buttercup became that. Yes, the three of them essentially became Anime Stereotypes, but if you were expecting quality from PPGZ you are barking up the wrong tree, sir or madam. I don't know why I like Japanese tomboys so much more than just the standard tomboy. I guess in their society where sexism is a lot more pronounced (though not as overt in such a conformist hushed culture) being a tomboy and staying that way feels a lot more daring and brave. It's so nice their school doesn't require uniforms, about the one stereotypical thing this anime doesn't do, so that Weeb Cup (I wonder if you're still following my ridiculous slang usage here) can dress anyway she pleases. Her outfits remind me of my clothing choice when I was younger (and aside from the sudden prevalence of pink nowadays it's still not too far off from before) and really, with the OG girls being so violent, Weeb Cup is the closest thing to the original show's spirit. She tries to solve all her problems with violence (at least the superhero ones) which was basically the defacto way of solving EVERYTHING in PPG, but since this is mahou shoujo world all the most mild of conclusions can occur. Like, an eraser and a pen have become monsters. In PPG they'd have punched them into bruises, black eyes, and missing teeth and thrown them in the slammer even if they didn't deserve it (Mime for a Change, never change!) but here, the pencil and eraser learn their lesson and leave Weeb Bubbles to travel the world and find their true calling in peace. ....wat.

And the funny thing is, more often than not, Weeb Cup's violence works. I was rather surprised considering I was used to Sailor Moon's formulaic approach to the bad guys, that Weeb Cup (I'm sorry I'll call her Kaoru now, lol) Kaoru would be finishing off the monster most of the time even though she wasn't the main main character, Blossom. This was all because she wielded the hammer, so she'd do the most damage and thus have the most impact. How lovely.

Anyway since I am typing so much about PPGZ, yes while I was rewatching PPG I also rewatched PPGZ and found that, perhaps since I am older that it was far harder to sit through this time around. The plots are just so childish and juvenile! The plots are also played so straight it's not funny. When a lot of media does its best to subvert expectations and you return to an old show where it does nothing of the sort at all it really doesn't age well. I mean, why are half the episodes about inanimate objects coming to life attempting to gain my sympathy because some people don't want to use them anymore? Why is the other half about love? Every named character and its dog (YES, LITERALLY THE TALKING DOG) falls in love or is the subject of love at some point of the show. About the only characters who aren't are the Rowdyruff Boys, but you try telling that to the ninety percent of fanfiction writers for both of these shows! (I wanted to read some nostalgic fanfiction and well, to say I was frustrated is putting it very lightly. There's a huge reason I never really involved myself in the fandom) Regardless of all these facts, there are like, a handful of episodes I still enjoy and plenty of concepts I found interesting the PPGZ did that the original never did. Like for instance, Sedusa! Because she was basically a walking censorship slip she didn't show up very often in PPG, but in PPGZ she got a pretty interesting backstory and a Jekyll and Hyde take on her existence. I also like her design a whole lot in PPGZ, which helps. This has led to me pretty much enjoying every single Sedusa episode in PPGZ, which I can't really say the same for in PPG. (The PPG ones were sure suggestive though P: )

Princess also was given a reason for her villainy (aside from the stupid plot point in the beginning that is the origin for practically every hero and villain in the show >_>) and for whatever deranged reason I really like her older sister, Miko Shirogane. (Or Duchess as the dub calls her...eh, not fond of it) I don't know if it's because her name is Miko and she's purple like another amazing purple Miko I like, or that she's a ridiculous super prodigy...like another amazing purple Miko I like, or that she's cunning, conniving and ultimately won in the end in her one spotlight episode ...like another amazing purple Miko I like...I WONDER WHAT THE REASON IS? But my god, is she deliciously cunning. What a manipulative bastard. Her design is really nice too. I feel like she overshadowed Princess' presence (which I think is the point, but I mean in the way that I like her more even though Himeko has the character development/backstory stuff, or in other words far more depth) I'M SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHEN I DEVELOPED SUCH A WEIRD TASTE IN CHARACTERS.

But in the end the best part about PPGZ is WEEB CUP er I mean, Kaoru. I'm not actually fond of shows explaining away tomboys by giving them a family full of masculine influence, what with Kaoru having only male siblings and looking up to her wrestler father. (A certain cartoon by the name of Weekenders does this to the extreme with Lor's thirteen fourteen sixteen indeterminate amount of brothers) I mean granted, you could explain my own tomboy phase by the lack of feminine influence as a child, but still. There are plenty of reasons people may become a tomboy and it's not such an obvious easy explanation like this, but asking for anything more complicated or intelligent from such a stereotypical mahou shoujo anime is probably pushing it. But wow, my crush on Kaoru back in the day was intense. I mean, I probably didn't mention it as much as my crush on Kazumi or whatever (My type is either, characters I love to the point of LOVE, seriously, or characters I find intriguing and interesting. For example, Miko is a crush love, where I think she is the greatest thing since sliced cheese, whereas Weiss is someone I find endlessly fascinating and wish to write all the things for. You won't see me trying to write a story about Miko. Though I dunno if this example is entirely accurate since I saw a lovely picture of Weiss in a boyish outfit once and declared her my husbando...)

Oh, I am super digressing. WELL. I really like androgynous characters okay. Even normally girly, feminine characters dressed in male-traditional outfits will bring such a reaction from me.

MOVING ON, 

I forgot to mention the most glaring flaw of Dance Pantsed. WHY DOES BUBBLES HAVE ICE BREATH? WHO DECIDED THIS MADNESS? THIS IS BLOSSOM'S SPECIAL UNIQUE POWER YOU DIMWITS! YOU DIMIWITTED DIMWITS! She even used it more than once to emphasize the fact that it was Bubbles' unique power for whatever reason. Blossom meanwhile was shooting lasers out of every orifice.

NO SERIOUSLY. WHY?

Well at least Buttercup didn't have anything special, as per usual. (Poor OG Cup...)

...y'know, I'm wondering why with the sole exception of Hetalia, that my tastes starting with Negima all became shows and games with predominantly female casts. Okay, I love Dangan Ronpa and that's pretty even, but even with it, I seem to be attracted to stuff with tons of females in it. You know the reason why? Because even though I grew up a tomboy and despised all things girly, I've been and likely always will be, a romantic at heart. And not a generic romantic by enjoying all the romantic comedy movies in the world, but specifically when one girl likes another girl and my mind explodes. And super specifically an ANIME girl liking another ANIME girl because that's just how weeb my tastes are. Egads.

If it ain't Anime or animesque, I don't give one flying fuck about the romance. This includes every and all cartoons as well as live-action thingies. Well okay, I have that hopeless PinkieShy pursuit that will never go anywhere and has been crushed countless times by not only canon but the hundreds of thousands of fans that have declared their love and support for everything that breaks this pair, but ponies look kind of Anime-ish anyway! And it's a very small part of why I enjoy MLP. It's not like RWBY where shipping is partly the saving grace. I genuinely enjoy MLP as it is even if its more recent seasons have been becoming more and more bizarre and cartoony. So I become all the more frustrated no matter how hypocritical it may be when it feels like the only reason a fandom exists for something is the shipping. "I want to discuss how this episode impacted so-and-so character" "OMFG BUTTERCUPXBUTCH!" "..." This problem existed during my Nickelodeon tween sitcom phase (I will not claim my tastes are ones of high quality >_>) when all everyone cared about was this female character with this male character and that female with that male and ARGH. Even if the show isn't that objectively good I still want to talk about how the show handled this and that, but noooo. 

So anyway that meant I obviously ran into a very strange double problem when I did ship something and wanted to read stuff about it but ran into the MOUNTAINS AND SCORES of stories for this other ship. I mean, OG PPG? Fine. Whatever. I have a small collection of general or horror or adventure or humor fanfictions I can flee towards. If you ship the PPG with the RRB and want to swim in the fifty billion fanfictions about them, fine, go ahead. BUT WHY WOULD THIS BE THE CASE IN PPGZ!? The RRBZ are children like five years younger than the girls and all they do is be rude, inconsiderate and gross. At least the OG RRB had like, the ability to punch people and such. The weeb boys? They're just...immature schoolchildren. They have no superpowers. The incompetent weeb Mojo created incompetent RRB. It's so very sad and tragic. It's even more sad and tragic that despite their godawful disappointing adapted selves, that PPGxRRB fics still take up ninety perfect of the category. I just don't...why? Just why? WHY? WHY!? I know I am being melodramatic, but that's what I do on this blog and I truly feel as if this PPGxRRB thing is some sort of divine punishment for whatever sin I committed in my past life. It's just so PREVALENT. It's everywhere! By this logic maybe I should like it too when everyone in the world seems to enjoy it, yet I do not! And now, since FFnet's filters are some of the least useful around, my only hope to find non-RRB stories is to SIMPLY BROWSE past them, and I swear I could almost feel physical pain having to go through pages and pages and summaries and summaries of these stupid boys, over and over and over and over and over again! I'm sorry if you happen to like them, BUT GAAAAAAAH! RAAAAAGGH! WAGRAGVGE@ HFBSBSJFSBDHfAF HFGYWEUQ~

!

Ah, KaoruxMiyako. I love this ship. They're like a non-douchebag version of the original Mahou Shoujo girl ship, NeptunexUranus! (I would've liked them if they weren't douchebags. I swear) Oh what's this? A Deviantart group? With five images? Oh what's this, some fanfics? Around six or seven? 

And then I look across the grass and see all the happy hoppy people sharing and laughing on their giant cruiser of a yacht, hanging around the PPGxRRB. It's so lonely on this floating tiny little raft.

Anyway if someone really likes PPG and is disappointed I spent most of this ranting about PPGZ for some reason, well what do you expect? It's inevitable. I like them both, even if I can't sit through most of PPGZ anymore. It's got the crush and the ship, which is a huge factor to my fandoms while PPG is nostalgia and childhood, which isn't as much (but I still love it in the pure, "I WAS THE TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC OMG!" sense) And if you've read this blog before, I can spend so many words ranting about ships and crushes over nostalgia shows without those two factors, so I mean...

This has been Spotto.

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