spotto | It's like a writing moral event horizon!

Have you ever read a story or watched a movie or some other media depiction of whatever, and enjoyed every single minute of it? Every line is perfect, the characters are interpreted amazingly well, and the plot is amazing? Have you?

Now take that work and put one glaring flaw in it. A flaw that isn't necessarily huge in itself, but in your eyes big enough that it will nag at the back of your mind every time you read or watch or play it. Say you're having this feast of your favourite foods and EVERYTHING is the best you've ever tasted...except that one dish. That one dish which is your favourite dish of all, but it's very rarely prepared if at all and so you rarely have any of it. The moment you sink your teeth into this plate, your mouth cries. It goes numb and soon this repulsing aftertaste stays on your tongue despite the ingestion of the rest of the absolutely delicious foods...that's how I am feeling right now.

I mentioned it in my last post, but I thought to elaborate. The mixed feelings in my mind cannot be tamed. I read this splendid AU story of triumph over evil, of magical whimiscal adventure and harrowing unwielding tragedy, of mystery and angst, of humour and excitement. I've read antagonist Keine before. A sadist and malicious psychotic Keine who enjoys the pain of children (that do not die, to clarify) of a mastermind glorious Keine who pulled the strings of everything in one well-executed twist. The former a comedy, the latter a serious work, but both put Keine on the pedestal. It makes her important and capable. She is deliciously evil or amusingly dark, but in this work...in a world where everything is magic, Keine is mundane. In a world where the evil forces are large, Keine is small. Where the story is grandoise but Keine is insignificant...and everything the canon Keine believes in is thrown into the gutter, leaving only a mannequin of what she is, pre-programed to hate, to damage those weaker than her with not a sense of dignity. It is like the author stabbed me in the back, digging it into my heart after I was so invested into the story for so long, for so many chapters.

I have gone too far, I must keep reading...but that one nagging feeling will continue on. I hope for the sake of my favourite character there is a point to her being so outraegously OOC, to be the only teacher in canon yet the worst in the story. If she serves only to make the protagonist's righteousness shine ever greater, my disappointment will be bare....it will leak into my expectations and enjoyment of such a fine piece of literature, which saddens me deeply.

How can something so perfect have such a heartbreaking flaw? I would rather Keine have any other role in the story than this, positve or negative, or not even appear at all. The fact that fans of the story do not seem to care about this is...not unexpected because unless it was one of THEIR favourite characters or at least a major one in the canon itself, why would anyone else give a shit? I've already started spouting jokes about how no one gives a damn about UFO because it's true, being the least popular game. People will forget it, cite it as the, if not worst, least-memorable or unappealing music, characters, maybe even gameplay! I can only sigh in defeat and hope what the face value is, is not just face value...but that there is a deeper reason to such a...forgive my language, fucked up mutilation that is the Keine in this story.

Oh yeah and Mokou witnessed the despicable actions of this "Keine", but in this story they have zero connection.

I suppose at some point my mindset will become like ZUN's...the more I complain about things the more I realize I should just write it or create it myself so I will have my own little universe where there are no personal flaws. Can't find a good fun game? Make one yourself. Can't find a satisfying story? Write one yourself. Somehow, I feel this goal is something I do want to reach someday, whether it be a completed story or comic or picture or even a game. Something satisfying for once where I have no need to rant.

But for now my mind is tasked to search rather than create in the meantime. You will never know.