spotto: (koi)
spotto ([personal profile] spotto) wrote2012-01-16 10:19 am

PV Review #2: Memories of Phantasm 2

THIS IS A TOUHOU POST
WHERE I WILL DISCUSS OF TOUHOU

BECAUSE I LOOKED AT MY DREAMWIDTH

AND ALL I SAW WERE MULTICOLOURED PASTEL PONIES

So I played that Youmu game the other day, and it was not translated or anything so I had no clue what was going on. All I had to do was be Youmu and whip my sword back and forth, decapitating fairies and butchering frogs! Then some random character would be in my way and I had to avoid their fancy danmaku while decapitating or butchering them! It took many many tries, about two-hundred and sixty to be exact. Since the game did not have Gameover, and you got unlimited lives. The downside to dying is losing points, so my endgame points were pretty pathetic but that's what happens when you play a game with barely any experience in the first place. I mean I do play the actual Touhou games but I am just terrible at them.

Meanwhile Rehearsal which I have spent about seven months screaming at Ed about (for some weird reason P:) why it hasn't come out yet...predictably hasn't come out. When it does we will have parties for as long as you can see in Ventrilo. It will be double the fun, even funner than Pokemon Online! Yes I went there. Then again what likely will happen as with all multiplayer Touhou games we play is we play for a while and then stop, which makes me sad. I think we need to IaMP, UNL, or PoFV some more. I lack a Dota 2 key to play with the rest and I really have no more motivation for League of Legends anymore. I have no idea why. I should start playing some more WoT though, still interested in that game! It fell off somewhere in December for some reason.

As for stuff happening in Touhou fandom itself...I have not been paying attention! I actually wanted the PV series review I've been doing to actually be a series, so I might do that with the recent PV released for Subterranean Animism. The reviews are not just for terrible videos because I absolutely adore that animation. In fact, let us attempt a review now despite the fact that I have been awake for far too damn long!


The joys of reviewing a Subterranean Animism video is that it likely has TONS of characters showing up due to the MGS-styled partnership within the game, as well as the previous cast of MoF since they technically caused this shitstorm. Also epic music, cannot forget the epic music. I have probably praised Chireiden's music far too much now but it is THAT DAMN GOOD. The other neat thing is that the previous review was also somewhat--SA related, so we can compare. We can compare how terrible that video is and how so much better this one is. (It's blatantly obvious anyway, but still)

First off, this song is amazingly ALSO based off of Last Remote. At least I hope so because twice in one day I called it Satori Maiden and called Septette, UN Owen. Curse you crazy batshit youkai siblings! You and your somewhat similar and ominous sounding themes that actually sound nothing alike and I probably have sustained brain damage somewhere from smacking my head too many times! Curse yooou~! I will have to admit I actually prefer the Last Remote remix in the first video of this series which is probably the only part of this entire review where I call that PV better than this. THAT IS ALL.

So we begin the video with the usual oversized Anime moon, and suddenly the yellow parts of the moon are RED. Which technically isn't an eclipse...or maybe it is seeing as the moon turned red that one time I caught an eclipse...the point being, there was an eclipse and turns out it's actually a reflection. I'm already liking this video better than the previous one, even though I have to admit the previous PV's intro was actually quite mysterious and cool. (Then it just went downhill from there. I apologize this PV review is not about how the last video was terrible! I shall cease my ramblings now!)

And then the reflection turns into some sort of stained glass of a THREE LEGGED CROW! And this is where if I were not half-asleep the first time I watched this, would've been jumping for joy. IT'S SUBTERRANEAN ANIMISM GUYS! OH MY GOD! SUBTERRANEAN ANIMISM!!! THAT IS LIKE THE BEST GAME EVER IF I DON'T APPLY MY UFO BIAS. LIKE HOLY SHIT OMG FOAM AT MOUTH.

Okay we're ten seconds in. I should probably keep this a bit shorter if I'm going to use so much text for ten bloody seconds. Then the title appears.

Why, that title looks familiar! Where have I seen it be--OH MY FUCKING GOD THEY DID THE PERFECT CHERRY BLOSSOM ANIMATION OH MY GOD

Well my expectations have skyrocketed at this point. This video better not fail me because this circle delivered awesomeness before and that title, well I'm expecting awesomeness due to that title! Let us hurry up through this video and experience the fluid animation, the epic song, and the brilliant and downright badass battle scenes! GO! So Marisa and Reimu find geysers which are exploding from beneath the earth all over the place. Due to my highly biased mind, I'm hoping for the incredibly slim chance we might catch the Palanquin in the video somewhere, shot out from the underground by a geyser to start the plot of UFO a few years later. Then someone else like Aoi-dono or another Touhou fan will throw bottles at me for already anticipating UFO characters BEFORE the actual SA characters only sixteen seconds in! And I shall bow, apologize, and continue watching the video with utmost glee.

IT'S A RAINBOW HOLY CRAP!

Okay rainbows normally wouldn't excite me, but thanks to my lengthened exposure to multicoloured pastel ponies due to the good deeds of Souless, rainbows excite me like no end, as if I could not stop smiling forever! Even if it's a virtual rainbow in an animation created with computers or ink on paper! It's seven colours of the spectrum! ROY. G. BIV! Who is an excellent MLP writer by the way--okay, getting WAY off track here...

Look it's Cirno! She's going to be in any animation like this even if she's not in the g--MOKOU AND KEINE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH MOKOU AND KEINE WAIT WHY IS EVERYONE NAKED WHAT IS THIS FANSERVICE THAT I SEE BEFORE MY INNOCENT AND VIRGIN EYES!?

Well okay that is a lie, my eyes are certainly neither of those things. Nonetheless I suppose it was inevitable for a random hot springs scene to pop up due to the geysers. That is obviously the proper Japanese logic to abide by after all! Geysers? AT ALL? FANSERVICE HOT SPRING SCENE GO. It is also an excuse to show a million Japanese characters naked too, I suppose, especially Touhou characters, especially those who have no part in the game such as Mokou and Keine who I love so bloody much for they are the cutest couple in the existence of anything. Yes, I did say that. I truly mean it. They are cuter than ponies, than KazuSayo, than any other Touhou couple, than anything else I've ever shipped in my life. They are adorable and adorable they are.

...my god we're only nineteen seconds in.

I will remark on one thing. Sakuya has suspiciously large breasts. SUSPICIOUSLY.

Okay we got Aya peeking and Nitori peeking and Hatate also peeking. Well that's inevitable, and then random Alice OH LOOK AT THOSE EXPRESSIONS ON HOURAI AND SHANGHAI. I also apologize for being a terrible Touhou fan because I don't think I can tell the difference between those dolls...of course, I am also not an Alice fan at all, so that might have to do with it. There was Patch too but who cares about her, we also got drunk Suika and there's Yukari---

OOOOHHHH, they're the partners! But of course! So we HAVE to care about Patchouli being there. Aw.

PORTAL!

Last Remote sounds amazing HOLY BAJEESUS THOSE TITS ARE HUGE

I mean good gravy man! I know Yuugi has a healthy chest but this is beyond realism! Well okay realism in Touhou is a rather ridiculous thing to expect, but you know this IS the game people called "that bullet hell with the lolis" you know, little girls? So seeing that spring scene and then transitioning to the proper bosses and their chests are RATHER DISTRACTING I MUST SAY. Man, Orin looks badass as a cat. She usually looks stupidly adorable in situations as a cat, but she actually looks REALLY cool as a cat. That is the coolest cat I have seen, and I've seen my fair share of cats. Somehow she distracted me from those MY GOD THOSE TITS

Oh apparently there was a crow there too, but I didn't notice. I was distracted by the unbelievable cool cat and those tits and HI SATORI HELLO. That is a rather interesting positioning you are in and suddenly we are looking through her eyes and there are these chains everywhere so imagery or whatever it's called. IT'S GOOD, THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE TO KNOW. Then we go through all those chains through that dark, dark blue place and

KOISHI

KOISHI I LOVE YOU

KOISHI YOU'RE NOT A JEALOUS MURDEROUS KIDNAPPING PATHETIC B-VILLAIN!

That first video will bother me forever damn it!

KOISHI YOU'RE IN YOUR REGULAR CLOTHES

YAY KOISHI

She is so damn cute. 8D

Oh look it's Okuu being super badass as per usual. It is inevitable I will be reminded of dogfight from this video, simply because dogfight was rather epic. Oh wait this is before, she's with Orin and there seems to be some beams of light from above and HOLY BAJEEBUS THOSE TITS ARE HUGE

You cannot fit a mirror there Kanako. At all, your breasts are far too huge to allow something as delicate as a mirror to exist there. It simply is not possible, even if I am seeing it with my own eyes. I definitely do not remember Memories of Phantasm 1 having so many oversized chests. NOT AT ALL. Nonetheless the mirror improbably exists on her chest as it spews rays of blinding light all over the place THEN FIRE

AND HEY SATORI IN THAT ODD AWKWARD POSITION AGAIN, except zoomed out! Oooooh. Her skirt isn't that short and yet it is positioned somehow to show so much of her legs...that is somewhat bothering me, as if not only is the video using a lot of blatant chest fanservice, but trying to show off Satori as super vulnerable in this shot above the stained glass. I have no idea. The animation has been top notch so far but egads the fanservice is like full-force or something.

Then we have dramatic Sanae turning her head, sadly not as memetastic as the prairie dog and Suwako on her usual business of saving frogs from a murderous fate and finally, almost halfway through the video that lazy-ass Reimu starts taking action. Egads Reimu, you really need to pick up the slack. I know you're generally lazy but geez, it's already halfway through the video! Then again you took like almost the entirety of the PCB animation to do ANYTHING AT ALL. I suppose this actually counts as an improvement! Do I congratulate you or something? She starts going underground all by her lonesome apparently because all her so-called buddies are still preparing with their ancient technology to get down there! That Reimu! There is no I in team, you know! Meanwhile everybody else is being lazy. Oh Touhou, never change.

We finally cut to Orin watching her evil spirits fly into the above-world and cause a nuisance to EVERYTHING and finally some epic Utsuho! Look at those sinister red eyes, as she powers up DBZ style with her ULTIMATE NUCLEAR FUSION OF DOOOOOOOOOM! And now Reimu goes through all the fodder to clean house, like that bucket girl whatshername. Kisume? Man she is like the most insignificant character in the entire series or something, that poor, poor bucket.

Somehow Reimu has already reached Yuugi and we get to see her breasts destroy everything that is physics as they fight the fight and her SAKE NOT EVEN DROP...okay I'm sorry that's old, BUT IT IS VERY TRUE---or not. Did she just spill some sake? DID SHE JUST SPILL SOME SAKE SHE SPILLED SAKE.

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YUUGI HOSHIGUMA!?!?

Anyway we got cool actiony shots with danmaku destroying everything and oh look a spider! Yamame appears finally, with her orangey spider web threads of death...or disease...I don't know anymore. OH LOOK IT'S PARSEE! Looking rather uncharacteristically happ--oh there we go. I LOVE that. That was amazing and super Parsee like, something as short as that. Brilliant job animators with their bland fetish for oversized breasts. Then comes the eye and Satori is actually doing something not vulnerable and fifth-grade loli like for once. Shooting out her own danmakus of death!

Finally Marisa seems to have joined into the battle underground in the red fieryness that is HELL. She's fighting Orin. Have I ever mentioned that Orin is actually quite badass? She is much more badass than people take granted for. The only reason she is overlooked is that the boss after her, Utsuho, is pretty much the epitome of all things badass that it sadly overshadows Orin. But Orin is really one fucking awesome cat. I really must commend her. Marisa surfs on her broom like usual, pulls out her hakkero and Reimu is there! So it appears they met up somewhere and are actually working together---OR SHE WENT AHEAD ALONE TO FIGHT UTSUHO HERSELF.

Reimu you are a terrible teamplayer.

They proceed to do badass things, being badass people. Danmaku pepper the area and they finally shoot BEAMS OF DEATH at each other with a very very cool shoot of Okuu's cannon looking very huge in such an angle, but we do not get shown the result as we return to the oversized Anime moon and some umbrellas. Blah. Well we know how it ends anyway but still oh look it's Suwako again! Man Suwako is adorable. Have I mentioned her adorableness? Because she is pretty gosh darn cute, awesome theme as well! Looks like she, Kanako, and Sanae are all symbolically staring at that giant moon. I swear those moon bitches rigged their moon to look bigger, those egotistical bastards. Not only that but they use some sort of hypnotic spell so people ALWAYS stare at the moon! That damn moon. Wait a minute I just realized....

REWIND TO ALMOST THE BEGINNING

Oh, it was day time.

Drats! I almost thought Keine was in human form during the full moon and can yell at the video's inconsistency for a shot that happened for a fraction of a second! YOU WON THIS TIME, VIDEO!

Returning to our scheduled spot in the video...looks like the battle is over because Reimu and Marisa are lazily by the hot springs this time, unusually clothed for such a situation. The shot pans out back to the entire scenery with the moon and the video ends.

WHAT, IT'S ALREADY OVER!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Well to conclude, the video was awesome. Very short, but very awesome. As I said many times throughout the video, there was a lot of fanservice and some rather oversized chests, but I don't mind too much. Am I desensitized to such fanservice? From my days with all my fandoms? I actually am, but it was rather distracting. I think the video could be improved a bit if those boobs were reduced a little, and I don't really mind the hot springs scene. It's Japanese animation logic after all. If there is even ONE female anime character, HOT SPRINGS will always be the answer. I am sad Koishi only showed up for that one part, would've been nice to maybe have a sort second or so showing her running up Youkai Mountain for the extra, or a shot of the Palanquin. But either way this video was far superior to the other PV I reviewed, and had less of the whole harem nonsense between Alice, Patchouli, and Marisa. Five stars I say! Even with the fanservice! Five stars.

With the sad departure of Kinema Kan, this circle...called Fantasy Kaleidoscope maybe, is doing a fine job with its own animations! Combined with Sound Holic's awesome work and others I think Touhou is still pretty solid in the PV department. This has been Spotto, over and out!

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