spotto: (NUUUUUUUUUUEN~)
Recently a new EWI came out, after one year of nothing.

Recently HM came out, after an entire year of no new Touhou games.

Recently Spotto fell in love with a character named Toyosatomimi no Miko.

AND THE CIRCLE, IT CONTINUES.



So anyway I'm not actually reviewing just THAT video, but all of them in general. There are common complaints and common praises for these series of videos. Sometimes if you're hoping for that one PV some awesome doujin animation group might make for your favourite Touhou cast herd, the creator of EWI may produce it instead, provided you can tolerate the excessive amount of swimsuits and schoolgirl gym outfits. You also not only get to watch some talented animation someone did on their free time purely from their love of Touhou, but also some talented person with an instrument I've never heard of until these videos, blare out their magnificence for all those Touhou fans' ears to hear! This hope was pretty much fulfilled for me back in the day when my favourite cast herd were the Buddhists from UFO. You could not get a better video divulging all that you love about certain characters than Byakuren's EWI vid, and to this day still the longest and probably most ambitious video this man has done until he chalks up an even more impressive one. (But considering it took him a year to make a new one, and this one must've been done in the past month due to how recent HM has been released because of Miko's cape, he's either very busy or working or something else)

 The first EWI was Suwako, a fairly simplistic version with no switch of camera angles or anything happening in the background. All it is is Suwako playing the EWI in a school swimsuit. To provide fanservice, the initial intro image has better (though not entirely) anatomy detailing all the juicy bits of an ancient goddess who looks like a ten-year-old. Sometimes I wonder how I've built up such tolerance to this, but after going through the MLP fandom I don't think anything out there shocks me anymore. Anyway because all the fanservice is relegated to merely an image and the actual video is of a very adorable super-deformed Suwako happily playing her amazing song, it's not much of a complaint. The music is good and catchy and the visuals never bore you whatsoever. Definitely something you'll be fine investing a few minutes of watching.

The sequel, Sanae, is an actual sequel, since Suwako is still there in the same video near the same spot. Again fairly simplistic, but fancy danmaku is added and the amusement of Suwako's attempt at grazing. I forget what year this video was released because Suwako could simply just jump into the ground to dodge everything like in Hisoutensoku. Anyway it's quite amusing all the gameplay mechanics involved like how Suwako loses and life and simply disappears into her hat at the end. There is obviously way too many EWI videos to actually review each individual one, so I'll just point out the big ones and certain changes that happens throughout the series.

At first the order of each video made sense and had continuity. After Sanae it was Aya, who was probably in the area to pick up the EWI. Then Komachi had it, which probably made least sense in the series of events because initially the spirit, that turned out to be myon, had it, but then after that video Youmu had it which did make sense, and right after that we had... Flandre. Sooooo yeah. The early videos also used Marisa as a buttmonkey. She dies in both Youmu and Flandre's vids. I especially liked Flandre's how she used four of a kind and the movements of her other selves. Mokou's is also a favourite mine since it details, or at least elaborates on with some fanon details of her tragic backstory. (Plus Keine turning EX to attempt to stop the fight only to fall out of screen for whatever reason is funny) Tewi and in the future other characters collecting point items also ends up a running gag and a favourite of mine. Obviously by the time you get to Mokou everything starts to unravel into much more elaborate videos. Some EWIs will depict a story while others will merely show a danmaku battle. There are a few that just have the characters playing instruments and showing off! One part I very much enjoy is how the they animate the bouncing of the characters to the beat of songs. Their sprite's basically just compressing and extending back and forth but it really gives the character animation some depth with little effort! I find it akin to say, animated comics where they basically redraw the comic three times and layer it ontop of another, then have it rotate through the frames constantly to give it this childish "moving" look without really doing much to the picture in the first place. It's very effective and efficient.

Of course, with improvement comes well, better defined "bodies" for the girls, not just in the initial intro or ending image but in the animation itself! So now the video itself has fanservice, which I still tolerated so long as interesting things happened and the video did not comprise entirely of showing off some girl in a swimsuit. The videos I've yet to mention after the ones in the above paragraph still stuck with the super deformity for the most part, elaborate videos like Yukari's notwithstanding. But still, there was still some danmaku or story being told that in my opinion greatly overshadowed the so-called "skimpy" parts of these vids. By the time you got to the special "IaMP" one though... it was now everywhere. Why? Because EVERYONE is wearing these swimsuits and because of all the action you get the "BELOW THE GIRL" action shot where Youmu is posing all cool, but it's ALL FOR NULL because of that specific angle! At this point of the series if you couldn't tell these things were the creator's fetish you were a blind, blind fool! Though despite my initial annoyance at that, Yuyuko shrugging off knives in the face was still the highlight for me. 

Then we get to Momiji, who gets all her angle shots taken by Aya to go with that fanon interpretation of her. (It's interesting to note the contrast between this video and Aya's, because Aya's came out before Double Spoiler that made Momiji's dislike of Aya canon. Before that game came out Momiji was merely the generic moeblob everyone could pile upon because she was a portrait-less, spellcard-less midboss with no lines. Then came DOG SIGN, RABIES BITE and eeeeverything changed) And I haven't mentioned it yet but alluded to it, continuity, continuity everywhere! Yukari's vid revisits previous EWI locations and what might be happening there now, implying all these videos, at least at that point, were happening at a short time after another. Of course after that just like with the brief logic within the order of themes played, it did not last. The newer vids being a whole bunch of different videos of different happenstances without much continuity between them. With some exceptions like the Yuugi/Satori ones seemingly looking like live stage performances. Anyway after this point we reach Byakuren's, the pinnacle of the EWI videos imo.

Being incredibly biased for Emotional Skyscraper, it is of no secret that this EWI is my favourite. It tells a heartwarming story, spells out all the good deeds Byakuren has done for various youkai... and also shoves Hijiri's chest into the camera so much it's like she has two chestbursters hiding beneath her blouse about to explode out in ever-loving violent glory like the popping of a balloon. I'm hoping that imagery ruins everything for everyone. I do like how he basically keeps the rest of Byakuren's costume though, so she doesn't look all that different from normal. But the massive differences and improvements like Byakuren's anatomy, ignoring the gazongas, is almost like one of a real woman. This is probably helped out by the theme itself, a very bombastic climatic tune, with quite possibly the longest loop of all Touhou themes. It is no wonder the video was so long and the story so well-thought out. Due to showing off her follower's past though, I feel that they probably won't get EWIs for themselves or if they do rather short ones with danmaku or something else as opposed to a story-based one.

The next few videos seems to be PC-98 galore with like Tewi randomly in between. I can't comment too much on these besides certain PC-98 themes being surprisingly catchy (and I dunno why I'm surprised it's still the same composer, I just rarely listen to such themes) The Konngara one seems out-of-place the most because at least the rest are of the more well-known pre-Windows characters but since she is placed with the rest of the oni and Suika (technically) and Yuugi already finished their EWIs, with Kasen not even having a theme, I guess if you wanted onis you'd have to go with Konngara (who is only theorized to be one in the first place!).  I found it especially interesting that Orin played her stage theme, not her own theme, Be of Good Cheer. Is Lullaby of a Deserted Hell so good it overrides her actual theme? In that case, if there is ever a Koishi one I hope to the end of the world that it's Last Remote instead. I'm just not that fond of Hartmann's Youkai Girl. I'm not really fond of that many Extra Boss songs in general. Beyond Flan's, Mokou's, and Suwako's the rest are, well they are at least unique and probably very fitting of the character, but not my favourite. (Futatsuiwa from Sado is TOO DAMN REPETITIVE and then it gets remixed twice in HM! WHYYYY)  

So that leads me to the latest video, Miko's. Following the same tangent with the above bracket statement, I was not impressed by TD's soundtrack when it came out. But I reasoned to myself that it was the first game I was around for when it first came out, so the music would need some getting used to probably, as opposed to the endless amount of remixes I had access to for the previous games. Nonetheless, there was something off about the music that I found missing from every other game. Granted I didn't even like UFO's soundtrack that much beyond finding the sixth stage and boss theme as the best ever in the entire series. Subterranean Animism had so many excellent tracks one-after-another, so UFO and TD coming in with fewer gems was a bit of a disappointment. The big one for me in TD though, was True Administrator. Every single other final boss theme was awesome, great, fitting, climatic, etc. I found True Administrator cripplingly underwhelming compared to others. Even final boss themes in the PC-98 games were amazing and catchy. 

But True Administrator WAS catchy, and did sound cool like ZUN had intended. It just felt like it was missing a part in the song. It had 3 parts of a complete song but not the final fourth. It felt like it dragged a lot of the intro and a lot of the lower tempo pieces far too long, as if it were covering up something missing or trying to be longer than it was. I think, though I cannot confirm, that True Administrator has the shortest loop of all the final boss songs, which is saying something. This is so evident because just last game, Emotional Skyscraper had the longest and was imo the best song ever. EVER! But, my love for Miko emerged so I tried to listen to some True Administrator remixes I might like. Many I did not, but it's not like I love every Emotional Skyscraper remix. Eventually I listened to the song SO much that by the time one of my friends (Cunchy) linked me simply to the original theme, saying he liked it, I found no flaws with the song. Was it my utter bias for Miko now? What happened here!? DID I GET USED TO THE TD SOUNDTRACK!? Was HM's remix that awesome??

So...the EWI video. A lot of people (or well, a significant amount) were saying there were a few parts of the EWI that was off-key. Perhaps the heat of the summer is making my ears delirious, but I simply can't hear these off-key notes these other people keep insisting is in the video. Perhaps I am wearing the overly-biased fangirl Miko earmuffs now. Nonetheless, the video though hyped me up and made me quite happy initially did end up in the long run (one day if that counts) a tad disappointing. Yes there is this whole awesome band and Miko shoots awesome danmaku in super adorable tiny form, but the entire video beyond staring at the Taoists playing instruments (Tojiko's literal electric guitar FTW!) was...SHOWING OFF MIKO IN HER SCHOOL SWIMSUIT. All the angles and all the shots of Miko in a generic school swimsuit. It wasn't even coloured differently to match her outfit, it was the same colour as a generic one. She threw off her awesome cape too early and we had to rely only upon the school swimsuit, as if it were king, as if it were the one thing we had to focus on...nothing else. Later Byakuren showed up for a fight that we get to see NONE of after Kaguya fought Mokou and Kanako fought Suwako. If Futo hadn't made the best facial expressions ever I'd have been even more disappointed with the video...oh and her so-called "Dead Parrot" pose at the end, it is the best.

But oh well, at least I've discovered True Administrator is actually 100% perfect contrary to my lying ears of the past. 

spotto: (koi)
THIS IS A TOUHOU POST
WHERE I WILL DISCUSS OF TOUHOU

BECAUSE I LOOKED AT MY DREAMWIDTH

AND ALL I SAW WERE MULTICOLOURED PASTEL PONIES

So I played that Youmu game the other day, and it was not translated or anything so I had no clue what was going on. All I had to do was be Youmu and whip my sword back and forth, decapitating fairies and butchering frogs! Then some random character would be in my way and I had to avoid their fancy danmaku while decapitating or butchering them! It took many many tries, about two-hundred and sixty to be exact. Since the game did not have Gameover, and you got unlimited lives. The downside to dying is losing points, so my endgame points were pretty pathetic but that's what happens when you play a game with barely any experience in the first place. I mean I do play the actual Touhou games but I am just terrible at them.

Meanwhile Rehearsal which I have spent about seven months screaming at Ed about (for some weird reason P:) why it hasn't come out yet...predictably hasn't come out. When it does we will have parties for as long as you can see in Ventrilo. It will be double the fun, even funner than Pokemon Online! Yes I went there. Then again what likely will happen as with all multiplayer Touhou games we play is we play for a while and then stop, which makes me sad. I think we need to IaMP, UNL, or PoFV some more. I lack a Dota 2 key to play with the rest and I really have no more motivation for League of Legends anymore. I have no idea why. I should start playing some more WoT though, still interested in that game! It fell off somewhere in December for some reason.

As for stuff happening in Touhou fandom itself...I have not been paying attention! I actually wanted the PV series review I've been doing to actually be a series, so I might do that with the recent PV released for Subterranean Animism. The reviews are not just for terrible videos because I absolutely adore that animation. In fact, let us attempt a review now despite the fact that I have been awake for far too damn long!


The joys of reviewing a Subterranean Animism video is that it likely has TONS of characters showing up due to the MGS-styled partnership within the game, as well as the previous cast of MoF since they technically caused this shitstorm. Also epic music, cannot forget the epic music. I have probably praised Chireiden's music far too much now but it is THAT DAMN GOOD. The other neat thing is that the previous review was also somewhat--SA related, so we can compare. We can compare how terrible that video is and how so much better this one is. (It's blatantly obvious anyway, but still)

First off, this song is amazingly ALSO based off of Last Remote. At least I hope so because twice in one day I called it Satori Maiden and called Septette, UN Owen. Curse you crazy batshit youkai siblings! You and your somewhat similar and ominous sounding themes that actually sound nothing alike and I probably have sustained brain damage somewhere from smacking my head too many times! Curse yooou~! I will have to admit I actually prefer the Last Remote remix in the first video of this series which is probably the only part of this entire review where I call that PV better than this. THAT IS ALL.

So we begin the video with the usual oversized Anime moon, and suddenly the yellow parts of the moon are RED. Which technically isn't an eclipse...or maybe it is seeing as the moon turned red that one time I caught an eclipse...the point being, there was an eclipse and turns out it's actually a reflection. I'm already liking this video better than the previous one, even though I have to admit the previous PV's intro was actually quite mysterious and cool. (Then it just went downhill from there. I apologize this PV review is not about how the last video was terrible! I shall cease my ramblings now!)

And then the reflection turns into some sort of stained glass of a THREE LEGGED CROW! And this is where if I were not half-asleep the first time I watched this, would've been jumping for joy. IT'S SUBTERRANEAN ANIMISM GUYS! OH MY GOD! SUBTERRANEAN ANIMISM!!! THAT IS LIKE THE BEST GAME EVER IF I DON'T APPLY MY UFO BIAS. LIKE HOLY SHIT OMG FOAM AT MOUTH.

Okay we're ten seconds in. I should probably keep this a bit shorter if I'm going to use so much text for ten bloody seconds. Then the title appears.

Why, that title looks familiar! Where have I seen it be--OH MY FUCKING GOD THEY DID THE PERFECT CHERRY BLOSSOM ANIMATION OH MY GOD

Well my expectations have skyrocketed at this point. This video better not fail me because this circle delivered awesomeness before and that title, well I'm expecting awesomeness due to that title! Let us hurry up through this video and experience the fluid animation, the epic song, and the brilliant and downright badass battle scenes! GO! So Marisa and Reimu find geysers which are exploding from beneath the earth all over the place. Due to my highly biased mind, I'm hoping for the incredibly slim chance we might catch the Palanquin in the video somewhere, shot out from the underground by a geyser to start the plot of UFO a few years later. Then someone else like Aoi-dono or another Touhou fan will throw bottles at me for already anticipating UFO characters BEFORE the actual SA characters only sixteen seconds in! And I shall bow, apologize, and continue watching the video with utmost glee.

IT'S A RAINBOW HOLY CRAP!

Okay rainbows normally wouldn't excite me, but thanks to my lengthened exposure to multicoloured pastel ponies due to the good deeds of Souless, rainbows excite me like no end, as if I could not stop smiling forever! Even if it's a virtual rainbow in an animation created with computers or ink on paper! It's seven colours of the spectrum! ROY. G. BIV! Who is an excellent MLP writer by the way--okay, getting WAY off track here...

Look it's Cirno! She's going to be in any animation like this even if she's not in the g--MOKOU AND KEINE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH MOKOU AND KEINE WAIT WHY IS EVERYONE NAKED WHAT IS THIS FANSERVICE THAT I SEE BEFORE MY INNOCENT AND VIRGIN EYES!?

Well okay that is a lie, my eyes are certainly neither of those things. Nonetheless I suppose it was inevitable for a random hot springs scene to pop up due to the geysers. That is obviously the proper Japanese logic to abide by after all! Geysers? AT ALL? FANSERVICE HOT SPRING SCENE GO. It is also an excuse to show a million Japanese characters naked too, I suppose, especially Touhou characters, especially those who have no part in the game such as Mokou and Keine who I love so bloody much for they are the cutest couple in the existence of anything. Yes, I did say that. I truly mean it. They are cuter than ponies, than KazuSayo, than any other Touhou couple, than anything else I've ever shipped in my life. They are adorable and adorable they are.

...my god we're only nineteen seconds in.

I will remark on one thing. Sakuya has suspiciously large breasts. SUSPICIOUSLY.

Okay we got Aya peeking and Nitori peeking and Hatate also peeking. Well that's inevitable, and then random Alice OH LOOK AT THOSE EXPRESSIONS ON HOURAI AND SHANGHAI. I also apologize for being a terrible Touhou fan because I don't think I can tell the difference between those dolls...of course, I am also not an Alice fan at all, so that might have to do with it. There was Patch too but who cares about her, we also got drunk Suika and there's Yukari---

OOOOHHHH, they're the partners! But of course! So we HAVE to care about Patchouli being there. Aw.

PORTAL!

Last Remote sounds amazing HOLY BAJEESUS THOSE TITS ARE HUGE

I mean good gravy man! I know Yuugi has a healthy chest but this is beyond realism! Well okay realism in Touhou is a rather ridiculous thing to expect, but you know this IS the game people called "that bullet hell with the lolis" you know, little girls? So seeing that spring scene and then transitioning to the proper bosses and their chests are RATHER DISTRACTING I MUST SAY. Man, Orin looks badass as a cat. She usually looks stupidly adorable in situations as a cat, but she actually looks REALLY cool as a cat. That is the coolest cat I have seen, and I've seen my fair share of cats. Somehow she distracted me from those MY GOD THOSE TITS

Oh apparently there was a crow there too, but I didn't notice. I was distracted by the unbelievable cool cat and those tits and HI SATORI HELLO. That is a rather interesting positioning you are in and suddenly we are looking through her eyes and there are these chains everywhere so imagery or whatever it's called. IT'S GOOD, THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE TO KNOW. Then we go through all those chains through that dark, dark blue place and

KOISHI

KOISHI I LOVE YOU

KOISHI YOU'RE NOT A JEALOUS MURDEROUS KIDNAPPING PATHETIC B-VILLAIN!

That first video will bother me forever damn it!

KOISHI YOU'RE IN YOUR REGULAR CLOTHES

YAY KOISHI

She is so damn cute. 8D

Oh look it's Okuu being super badass as per usual. It is inevitable I will be reminded of dogfight from this video, simply because dogfight was rather epic. Oh wait this is before, she's with Orin and there seems to be some beams of light from above and HOLY BAJEEBUS THOSE TITS ARE HUGE

You cannot fit a mirror there Kanako. At all, your breasts are far too huge to allow something as delicate as a mirror to exist there. It simply is not possible, even if I am seeing it with my own eyes. I definitely do not remember Memories of Phantasm 1 having so many oversized chests. NOT AT ALL. Nonetheless the mirror improbably exists on her chest as it spews rays of blinding light all over the place THEN FIRE

AND HEY SATORI IN THAT ODD AWKWARD POSITION AGAIN, except zoomed out! Oooooh. Her skirt isn't that short and yet it is positioned somehow to show so much of her legs...that is somewhat bothering me, as if not only is the video using a lot of blatant chest fanservice, but trying to show off Satori as super vulnerable in this shot above the stained glass. I have no idea. The animation has been top notch so far but egads the fanservice is like full-force or something.

Then we have dramatic Sanae turning her head, sadly not as memetastic as the prairie dog and Suwako on her usual business of saving frogs from a murderous fate and finally, almost halfway through the video that lazy-ass Reimu starts taking action. Egads Reimu, you really need to pick up the slack. I know you're generally lazy but geez, it's already halfway through the video! Then again you took like almost the entirety of the PCB animation to do ANYTHING AT ALL. I suppose this actually counts as an improvement! Do I congratulate you or something? She starts going underground all by her lonesome apparently because all her so-called buddies are still preparing with their ancient technology to get down there! That Reimu! There is no I in team, you know! Meanwhile everybody else is being lazy. Oh Touhou, never change.

We finally cut to Orin watching her evil spirits fly into the above-world and cause a nuisance to EVERYTHING and finally some epic Utsuho! Look at those sinister red eyes, as she powers up DBZ style with her ULTIMATE NUCLEAR FUSION OF DOOOOOOOOOM! And now Reimu goes through all the fodder to clean house, like that bucket girl whatshername. Kisume? Man she is like the most insignificant character in the entire series or something, that poor, poor bucket.

Somehow Reimu has already reached Yuugi and we get to see her breasts destroy everything that is physics as they fight the fight and her SAKE NOT EVEN DROP...okay I'm sorry that's old, BUT IT IS VERY TRUE---or not. Did she just spill some sake? DID SHE JUST SPILL SOME SAKE SHE SPILLED SAKE.

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YUUGI HOSHIGUMA!?!?

Anyway we got cool actiony shots with danmaku destroying everything and oh look a spider! Yamame appears finally, with her orangey spider web threads of death...or disease...I don't know anymore. OH LOOK IT'S PARSEE! Looking rather uncharacteristically happ--oh there we go. I LOVE that. That was amazing and super Parsee like, something as short as that. Brilliant job animators with their bland fetish for oversized breasts. Then comes the eye and Satori is actually doing something not vulnerable and fifth-grade loli like for once. Shooting out her own danmakus of death!

Finally Marisa seems to have joined into the battle underground in the red fieryness that is HELL. She's fighting Orin. Have I ever mentioned that Orin is actually quite badass? She is much more badass than people take granted for. The only reason she is overlooked is that the boss after her, Utsuho, is pretty much the epitome of all things badass that it sadly overshadows Orin. But Orin is really one fucking awesome cat. I really must commend her. Marisa surfs on her broom like usual, pulls out her hakkero and Reimu is there! So it appears they met up somewhere and are actually working together---OR SHE WENT AHEAD ALONE TO FIGHT UTSUHO HERSELF.

Reimu you are a terrible teamplayer.

They proceed to do badass things, being badass people. Danmaku pepper the area and they finally shoot BEAMS OF DEATH at each other with a very very cool shoot of Okuu's cannon looking very huge in such an angle, but we do not get shown the result as we return to the oversized Anime moon and some umbrellas. Blah. Well we know how it ends anyway but still oh look it's Suwako again! Man Suwako is adorable. Have I mentioned her adorableness? Because she is pretty gosh darn cute, awesome theme as well! Looks like she, Kanako, and Sanae are all symbolically staring at that giant moon. I swear those moon bitches rigged their moon to look bigger, those egotistical bastards. Not only that but they use some sort of hypnotic spell so people ALWAYS stare at the moon! That damn moon. Wait a minute I just realized....

REWIND TO ALMOST THE BEGINNING

Oh, it was day time.

Drats! I almost thought Keine was in human form during the full moon and can yell at the video's inconsistency for a shot that happened for a fraction of a second! YOU WON THIS TIME, VIDEO!

Returning to our scheduled spot in the video...looks like the battle is over because Reimu and Marisa are lazily by the hot springs this time, unusually clothed for such a situation. The shot pans out back to the entire scenery with the moon and the video ends.

WHAT, IT'S ALREADY OVER!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Well to conclude, the video was awesome. Very short, but very awesome. As I said many times throughout the video, there was a lot of fanservice and some rather oversized chests, but I don't mind too much. Am I desensitized to such fanservice? From my days with all my fandoms? I actually am, but it was rather distracting. I think the video could be improved a bit if those boobs were reduced a little, and I don't really mind the hot springs scene. It's Japanese animation logic after all. If there is even ONE female anime character, HOT SPRINGS will always be the answer. I am sad Koishi only showed up for that one part, would've been nice to maybe have a sort second or so showing her running up Youkai Mountain for the extra, or a shot of the Palanquin. But either way this video was far superior to the other PV I reviewed, and had less of the whole harem nonsense between Alice, Patchouli, and Marisa. Five stars I say! Even with the fanservice! Five stars.

With the sad departure of Kinema Kan, this circle...called Fantasy Kaleidoscope maybe, is doing a fine job with its own animations! Combined with Sound Holic's awesome work and others I think Touhou is still pretty solid in the PV department. This has been Spotto, over and out!
spotto: (koi)
I felt like doing this, so...without further ado...


Subterranean Rose

I hate this video so much.

I hate it so much I'm going to do a review on it to detail every single little part of why I hate this so much.

First let's start with a few of its pros because honestly it's not so terrible that nothing is good about it. Otherwise it simply isn't worth reviewing. As you can tell when you watch through this, the animation is pretty damn good for something amateur. It's probably low-grade if this was done by professional animation studios for a licensed Anime of some sort, but for a video that was likely made so people can watch for free, it's done pretty well. The character design is alright. I especially like how Alice and Koishi look, what with Alice's amazing blue eyes and Koishi's pretty neat looking alternate outfit. Sadly I don't quite think Alice's outfit is as accurate as it can be, and I can't comment on Patchouli's outfit since I don't pay attention to it. If it looks like pajamas it's good enough for Patch, really.

I do however dislike how Marisa was drawn, completely.

The best part of this video is the music, which is an excellent vocal arrange of Last Remote, one of my favourite songs. It sounds somewhat evil-sounding though, but the satori themes seem to always have this knack of sounding evil, be it Satori Maiden ~ 3rd Eye or Hartmann's Youkai Girl, so rendering Last Remote as the same isn't too far-fetched. (Plus, the original sounds somewhat ominous already)

Otherwise...

I'm under the impression that this video is meant to (poorly) depict Subterranean Animism, or what would happen if Marisa ended up in the Metal Gear Solid universe and the game over screen came up. That would explain the use of characters over simply just being the most popular love triangle in Touhou, but either way it's terribly sad. It starts off with Koishi doing what a lot of fans tend to think of Flandre doing, living in a deep-dark place all alone and destroying whatever toys she may have, such as that teddy bear you see. The scene switches to a fight scene, and we have Marisa attacking Koishi with a KI BLAST!

It's a ki blast. It cannot be Master Spark, there lacks the Hakkero. Already I'm under the impression whoever animated this knows NOTHING of Touhou. Anyway after said ki blast, Koishi dodges it via hax-teleportation, which unless you're partnered with Yukari shouldn't really happen. I suppose she could turn on her subconscious powers and do that, but I'm quite certain that's not how it works. Apparently unlike SA where the playables communicated with their partners above aground ala Yin-Yang radio or whatever, Patch was merely reading a book while Marisa was being destroyed/killed/captured...before her Marisa-senses began to tingle. I have no idea how that even works. My best guess is Alice was her partner and she lost contact with Marisa, so the two teamed up as rescue as it is later shown.

Before that however, we see that Marisa is indeed captured, and Satori is standing there all willy-nilly like this was the usual Koishi. No lecturing, no questioning of why she was chained to a cross (such subtle imagery!), no nothing, as if the prospect of being her older sister has no meaning or authority. I thought she was the head of the house, if she has absolutely no point here then don't even bother showing her! Anyway, Alice apparently has a necklace of some sort that was given to her by Marisa...

Well, the kleptomaniac is GIVING something to someone! I'm quite sure the reason Alice likes Marisa, if she has any reason to at all, is not because Marisa is nice, because Marisa is definitely not nice. (Well, she's probably nicer than Reimu and maybe Sanae but that isn't saying much) I suppose it's implying that perhaps they already hooked up or there is a crush between the two already, but even then Marisa would not be giving things, unless of course she stole that necklace long ago and is returning it finally, for what reason I can't imagine but that's the only possible way I can think of for such situation to happen. (And Alice has completely forgotten it was stolen from her ;) )

Several people have commented that Patchouli running is the final concrete proof that this PV is not anywhere close to in-character or canon, but that's merely a joke. Even so, Patchouli RUNNING!? Has she ever ran in canon? Not that I can think of! On the other hand it's not like she's running very fast, etiher. Anyway the reason Patch likes Marisa is because they were reading next to each other. I think that's a suitable explanation, don't you think? We all fall in love with the person sitting closest to us in the library!

We then skip to their domination of everything underground which for some reason includes poor Parsee. She doesn't really have much to do with the Chireiden folk but they beat her up anyway. The several thousand people who were slaughtered by Orin were also insulted by this scene. Then we see them effortlessly defeat Utsuho of all people.

...what's this? My Bullshit meter is going off the charts! There is only one explanation for worfing one of the most destructive Touhou characters ever, and that is the power of LOVE. Clearly, the love these two share for Marisa is so great that, so gargantuan that it overpowers silly things like suns and nuclear fusion! I'm sure we can all solve Global Warming if we all loved each other enough, it can bring down even the most demonic of eldritch abdominations down!

Only friendship is magic.

So they finally find Koishi who has Marisa captured, and in their shock and anger they attack! ...with more ki-blasts. Okay I know they do have some pretty dangerous attacks like the gunpowder in Alice's dolls and Patchouli's screen-filling Royal Flare, but I'm pretty sure they're a lot more than just generic ki-blasts. WHERE IS MY DANMAKU!? This time Koishi doesn't even bother to dodge, which breaks about every taboo in Touhou in existence, and merely withstands it like the invincible little devil she is. The fun part here is that those ki-blasts are probably the equivalent of some sort of bomb so they MUST be in a survival card already! Now our heroines must endure what Koishi lashes out at them, constantly looking up at the clock, the numbers counting down ever so slowly in a struggle for their lo--WHAT THE F--

The video I posted censored it, so here's the uncensored version. (it should be pretty obvious that this is NOT SAFE FOR WORK.)

Koishi throws on an evil smirk, Marisa lets out an expression of what I hopefully assume is pain and CLOTHES EXPLOSION! She is now naked. I have no idea what the point of that was, but if she's implying what I think she's implying...then Koishi continues her STRONG GUST OF WIND ATTACK which is apparently incredibly deadly and we prepare for more charging up of lasers. I swear do people just not dodge in this video? How is this Touhou if there is no danmaku, surely the entire cathedral/mansion place should be destroyed by the bullets all over the place by now, but sadly all I see are ki-blasts and strong gusts of wind. Anyway Koishi just ups and lets Alice free Marisa without preventing her whatsoever...I'm sure Patchouli taking her fine time to charge up is an amazing distraction, no really--wait why did she kiss her.

Imagine you passed out at a party and someone just ups and kisses you when you're asleep! That's almost date rape! (Obviously not to the extreme extent, but still) What if that was your first kiss! What a terrible invasion of privacy that was. Anyway after forever and a half (I am surprised there are no shots of Koishi tapping her shoes in impatience) she finally charges up her most awesome attack which is kissing Marisa while being naked...

This. What.

I'm confused. And Koishi just stands there? Or is this some sort of incredibly fanservicey symbolism for Patchouli giving Marisa all her power? Which involves kissing and naked bodies and tears dropping on boobs...I cannot believe someone put all this effort into an animation as stupid as this.

...continuing on. Koishi finally reacts and--OH there was a barrier. Really now. They put up a barrier, who put up the barrier when did this barrier happen what. Goddamnit PV. So Koishi can withstand two ki-blasts but is powerless against a mere barrier. Heh, silly useless tank. What happened to her hax-teleportation powers? 

Er, I mean. Oh no! Marisa is charging up! Koishi, you better react to her because apparently she's not within the barrier--and...my god you must have the worst AGI stats in the game. Also Alice does something...perhaps she is using those doll strings which look like cracked windows to restrain Koishi? That would make a lot more sense if they actually made that part CLEAR. Finally, Marisa charges up her ULTIMATE KI-BLAST which disintegrates Koishi to smithereens! Oh no! Poor Koishi is dead. D: This is because she didn't graze, and thus was the point of the video. If you do not graze you will not win at danmaku!

Having defeated Koishi, our heroines leave while Satori is...

Satori, did you really just stand there while they killed your sister.

Really.

You cannot be that powerless.

And it seems Koishi is not so dead after all. This usually implies a sequel. Good god there better not be a sequel. (Unless it comes with an awesome song. I might forgive that)

Or by extension the sequel is KOISHI'S HEART-THROBBING ADVENTURE. >_>

Anyway, final thoughts. So basically the entire video was completely and utterly-out of character. Yes I know fanon isn't too close to canon but this was not an interpretation but a butchering of their characters, especially Koishi. Even fans of the Alice/Marisa/Patch triangle would hate this, I would think. (except the vainest of them all!) Marisa acts nothing like Marisa, and the other two's personality is "We love Marisa" while Koishi is there simply to be "I love Marisa too but I want her all to myself, GO AWAY." It deeply, deeply saddens me when such talent in animation or artwork is poured into something as mediocre as this, as well as using an amazing song but not living up to it whatsoever. Now, I know this is by Innocent key, but we have to realize Innocent Key only made the song. Someone else made the PV, unless of course the PVs were made with their permission to promote the song as for further sales. In that case shame on Innocent Key, but I like to believe it's not so much that circle as people who find it enjoyable to use their songs for bad. (In particular the artist named Noya, but that's for another PV Review!)

That is all and Happy Thanksgiving.

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