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The sappy post of Tartarus
Man this week has been odd.
During the weekend I ingested quite a lot of tea, simply because I was tired of pretty much all the drinks in my vicinity and even beyond. Beer is not exactly a drink you take in often, and even though I do occasionally have a glass, it really does taste like bitter piss. Juice is always clogged with sugar and you always feel a little jumpy when drinking far too much of it. Water is tasteless and milk isn't a flexible drink at all, considering I contract stomachaches if I consume it at certain parts of the day. Everything I've ever drank that I've loved before no longer has the same charm as my memory seems to indicate...so I just tried some tea...and even that didn't quite hit it up.
Anyway as a result I felt like I was drunk...somehow. I'm not sure, since I've never really been drunk, maybe a tad tipsy that one time but I never really indulge in alcohol. The resulting caffeine (and I have absolutely no idea how much caffeine is even in the tea, or how much of the leaves I'm even supposed to throw in) made me incredibly fidgety. I could not go one second without moving a limb or darting my eyes and for some reason my morale crashed down into the gutters. I felt like an alcoholic at the bar, drowning my sorrows and complaining to a bartender in the number of first-world problems clogging up my life. And at that point I didn't even know why I didn't have the restraint as per usual to flood the waters of the internet of my unhappiness, as I usually do. I always think "well, my problems aren't even problems...so many other people have much bigger ones and mine are just inconveniences in comparison. It's pretty pathetic to get worked up over nothing."
Yet, due to this lovely drug called caffeine, I had no qualms about spilling out what I thought was wrong with my life and how much, in my eyes, it sucked even though in reality I'm a very lucky person with awesome awesome friends and an incredibly supportive and helpful family. And I'm glad that I did. I learned through that experience that a lot of my friends are in similar situations...there's probably a reason we all gravitated towards each other in the first place other than we enjoy the same game or anything like that. That I am not alone in how I feel and the whole misconception about males not really being as emotional or sappy, I suppose, as females is mostly a misconception. It's okay to let out your feelings to a guy friend and not just a girl friend. If they're your friend they aren't going to look down upon you or judge you. My trust was not in the right place before, and I jumped over this most recent hurdle thanks to caffeine.
Even so, thanks to these friends and this lovely fandom I am currently enjoying...I've felt like a better person today than a year ago. Today I went to obtain a few ponies from McDonald's...a year ago I couldn't even imagine myself calling a bunch of restaurants asking about toys. I always thought it was so embarrassing and stupid to be doing that, to ask a fast-food joint about their cheap little plastic toys when said toys are not even for a child. In fact, seeing as I am female it would probably be a bit easier and less taxing to walk up to a cashier and request ponies, or call several stores to know if there are ponies there. I am quite the shy and intense terrified individual. It takes up a lot of courage to even post public messages on an image board, even as an anonymous!
And when I obtained those toys? I immediately left the restaurant as fast as possible, but I could not keep in my excitement and threw my arms up in the air the moment I left the door. I unfortunately forgot to zip up my wallet and coins went flying all over the place, so I had to pick them all up, and as embarrassing as it felt at that moment. I easily forgot about that qualm and remained perfectly happy mere moments later. If this was me of the year ago, I'd still be worrying about all those staring strangers wondering why that girl was so incredibly happy and stupidly clumsy. Now? Now I do not care.
Finally, people are all different and they react and take in the sights they see in all sorts of different ways. Just because one friend found an incredible movie or book absolutely life-changing doesn't mean it would do the same to you, even if you too enjoyed the book. Looking for happiness where someone else found some is incredibly counter-productive, because seeking happiness does not always lead to happiness...the definition and how happiness is obtained is not as simple as seeing something that makes someone else smile, and doing the same. People are different and have different views and opinions about everything, even though they may not agree and perhaps often if not always disagree, the difference is what makes humanity special. Although some days I end up questioning why certain groups of people make certain decisions or how they came up with their illogical or nonsensical opinion, that doesn't mean all of humanity is terrible and life is a pointless shallow pursuit.
I was going to make this post a pony one, just listing a few videos and moments from the latest episode I especially enjoyed...so I'll just tack it on.
ADORABLE
Anyone notice that all the manual labour in this was being done by earth ponies? DISCRIMINATION I SAY!
Man my favourite ponies have been abusing each other quite a lot lately...
To end this post, perhaps my first attempt at one of these letter things at the risk of sounding like a sappy and cheesy long-gone pony fan, if only because I truly did learn a friendship lesson:
During the weekend I ingested quite a lot of tea, simply because I was tired of pretty much all the drinks in my vicinity and even beyond. Beer is not exactly a drink you take in often, and even though I do occasionally have a glass, it really does taste like bitter piss. Juice is always clogged with sugar and you always feel a little jumpy when drinking far too much of it. Water is tasteless and milk isn't a flexible drink at all, considering I contract stomachaches if I consume it at certain parts of the day. Everything I've ever drank that I've loved before no longer has the same charm as my memory seems to indicate...so I just tried some tea...and even that didn't quite hit it up.
Anyway as a result I felt like I was drunk...somehow. I'm not sure, since I've never really been drunk, maybe a tad tipsy that one time but I never really indulge in alcohol. The resulting caffeine (and I have absolutely no idea how much caffeine is even in the tea, or how much of the leaves I'm even supposed to throw in) made me incredibly fidgety. I could not go one second without moving a limb or darting my eyes and for some reason my morale crashed down into the gutters. I felt like an alcoholic at the bar, drowning my sorrows and complaining to a bartender in the number of first-world problems clogging up my life. And at that point I didn't even know why I didn't have the restraint as per usual to flood the waters of the internet of my unhappiness, as I usually do. I always think "well, my problems aren't even problems...so many other people have much bigger ones and mine are just inconveniences in comparison. It's pretty pathetic to get worked up over nothing."
Yet, due to this lovely drug called caffeine, I had no qualms about spilling out what I thought was wrong with my life and how much, in my eyes, it sucked even though in reality I'm a very lucky person with awesome awesome friends and an incredibly supportive and helpful family. And I'm glad that I did. I learned through that experience that a lot of my friends are in similar situations...there's probably a reason we all gravitated towards each other in the first place other than we enjoy the same game or anything like that. That I am not alone in how I feel and the whole misconception about males not really being as emotional or sappy, I suppose, as females is mostly a misconception. It's okay to let out your feelings to a guy friend and not just a girl friend. If they're your friend they aren't going to look down upon you or judge you. My trust was not in the right place before, and I jumped over this most recent hurdle thanks to caffeine.
Even so, thanks to these friends and this lovely fandom I am currently enjoying...I've felt like a better person today than a year ago. Today I went to obtain a few ponies from McDonald's...a year ago I couldn't even imagine myself calling a bunch of restaurants asking about toys. I always thought it was so embarrassing and stupid to be doing that, to ask a fast-food joint about their cheap little plastic toys when said toys are not even for a child. In fact, seeing as I am female it would probably be a bit easier and less taxing to walk up to a cashier and request ponies, or call several stores to know if there are ponies there. I am quite the shy and intense terrified individual. It takes up a lot of courage to even post public messages on an image board, even as an anonymous!
And when I obtained those toys? I immediately left the restaurant as fast as possible, but I could not keep in my excitement and threw my arms up in the air the moment I left the door. I unfortunately forgot to zip up my wallet and coins went flying all over the place, so I had to pick them all up, and as embarrassing as it felt at that moment. I easily forgot about that qualm and remained perfectly happy mere moments later. If this was me of the year ago, I'd still be worrying about all those staring strangers wondering why that girl was so incredibly happy and stupidly clumsy. Now? Now I do not care.
Finally, people are all different and they react and take in the sights they see in all sorts of different ways. Just because one friend found an incredible movie or book absolutely life-changing doesn't mean it would do the same to you, even if you too enjoyed the book. Looking for happiness where someone else found some is incredibly counter-productive, because seeking happiness does not always lead to happiness...the definition and how happiness is obtained is not as simple as seeing something that makes someone else smile, and doing the same. People are different and have different views and opinions about everything, even though they may not agree and perhaps often if not always disagree, the difference is what makes humanity special. Although some days I end up questioning why certain groups of people make certain decisions or how they came up with their illogical or nonsensical opinion, that doesn't mean all of humanity is terrible and life is a pointless shallow pursuit.
I was going to make this post a pony one, just listing a few videos and moments from the latest episode I especially enjoyed...so I'll just tack it on.
Anyone notice that all the manual labour in this was being done by earth ponies? DISCRIMINATION I SAY!
Man my favourite ponies have been abusing each other quite a lot lately...
To end this post, perhaps my first attempt at one of these letter things at the risk of sounding like a sappy and cheesy long-gone pony fan, if only because I truly did learn a friendship lesson:
Dear Princess Celestia,
A few days ago I learned that keeping your feelings or problems huddled up inside is not the best way to go about in life, and friends are there to lend a helping hand or a listening ear. Never feel that you may be a bother or your problems too miniscule to be heard, a true friend would never hesitate to help.
Your faithful student, Spotto