Doodoodoodoooo~!
Aug. 31st, 2007 08:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spottoI apologize for the omake, XD.
The chapter itself isn't that funny, but the omake...in some way, is.
Anyway, try to enjoy.
Chapter 25: Swiss Cheese
The search party, which consisted of several otters and our regular cast, were wandering around Kappa Lake, soon about to go to another area to look for their missing companions as they had no luck so far.
”Ojou-sama, I am an unworthy swordscrane…to have let Ako wander off like that is a disgrace to you and all the royal koalas…”
”Stop talking formal nonsense, Secchan! We’re here to search for Ako-chan and her friends! Besides Secchan, don’t you care about the other missing animals?”
Setsuna bowed, “Of course the other animals are important, but we are guardians to Ako, and so far I feel like quite a failure as a…”
”Parent?”
”No, Ojou-sama! To say that I am a parent is…besides, we’re two girls and different animals too! I only care for Ako because you adopted her, and so am also a guardian a-and—“
Konoka smiled, “I thought we adopted Kazumi-chan too!”
”Kazumi-san is practically an adult, Ojou-sama. She does not need a guardian, but Ako-san is young and vulnerable, just thinking about her being alone in the dangerous world is enough to devastate me! I will do my best to retrieve her…” Setsuna replied as if she were giving a speech.
The koala poked, “Don’t worry Secchan! Ako-chan has Kazumi-chan, Ku Fei-chan, and of course Yuuna-chan with her! She’s protected, if not by us, then of course by her big sister and her friends! And if Ako-chan refers to Kazumi-chan as her oneechan, then she must be our daughter too!”
”O-Ojou-sama! Saying daughter…that is…far too bold…as such, we are their guardians and so it is our responsibility to—“
”HEY! If you two finished talking and NOT searching, we’re moving to another area, so HURRY THE HELL UP!” A rather rash otter yelled.
Haruna growled, “Don’t be so rude! ASK POLITELY!”
”You’re quite the hypocrite, penguin,” the sour otter sneered.
”Well I know I’m rude at times, but not at critical times like these!”
The otter argued, “But they weren’t even searching! And that dumb koala was being annoying with her constant use of –chan! HONORFICS AREN’T EVERYTHING, YOU MORO—“
”Do NOT speak of Ojou-sama like that!” Setsuna yelled, “Konoka-Ojou-sama is the heir of the Kansai Magic Association Koalas, who RULE Kappa
The otter paused, and then bowed, “I apologize for my foolishness, mi’lady.”
“Secchan?”
”What is it, Ojou-sama?”
”I’ve always wondered why the word ‘magic’ was in that name…”
”Err, um, it makes it sound better! That’s right! I didn’t name it, after all!” Setsuna stuttered.
”You’re weird, Secchan. Teehee.”
-
A gigantic shadow cast over the four animals and then some. They were all looking up at the monstrosity that they faced. It was huge—no, humongous. If they had thought the Iincho of Kappa Forest was bad, then they haven’t seen anything. The beast was horrifying.
”Holy son of a…” Yuuna could only mutter.
Kazumi pointed, “That thing’s twenty times bigger than Kuu! And Kuu is BIG!”
”B-but…what is i-it…?” Ako only managed to squeak, as she felt like the size of a bug compared to that thing.
Sayo whispered, shock overcoming her too much to speak any louder, “T-that’s…I’ve heard of it before, b-but never seen it. It’s called…a dragon.”
”A…DRAGON!?” Kazumi repeated, eyes locked onto the growling creature in front of them.
In stark contrast, there was neither fear nor shock in Ku Fei’s eyes, who was otherwise grinning madly, “Alright-aru! Let’s get rid of that thing-aruyo!”
”Are you INSANE, KUU!? That thing is HUGE! MUCH BIGGER THAN YOU! It’s like…Kazumi trying to kill…YOU!” Yuuna yelled.
”When I was young, I heard many stories from my mom about the dragon-aru…” Ku Fei started, “She told me that my father went off to defeat the dragon-aruka. He never came back…”
”Why would your dad be so stupid as to run off and try to kill the scariest thing on the planet!?” Kazumi said.
”Because tigers love pride-aruyo! Just summoning the courage to even face a dragon was said to be very brave and heroic-aru! In fact the best way to die, they said, was to die facing a dragon-arune!” Ku Fei explained.
Yuuna stated, “So…we’re going to die…the best way, now?”
”Who said anything about dying-aru?”
”YOU!”
”Oh, did I-arune? Well either way we won’t die-aruyo!”
”And…why is that?”
”Because…the dragon’s gone,” Ku Fei pointed. They all turned around.
”…wait…wha!?”
Yuuna gasped, “HOW CAN SUCH A BIG MONSTER DISAPPEAR JUST LIKE THAT!? THAT IS…UNPOSSIBLE!”
”I believe the term is ‘impossib—“
”DON’T CORRECT ME WHEN I’M PANICKING!”
Suddenly, the ground shook, yet again. Ku Fei looked around and noticed that the trees around them were gone. Ako was so terrified of everything that just happened that she jumped on Yuuna’s back and stuffed her face into her fur. Kazumi was wobbling around as the ground shook, and a look of great horror came upon Sayo’s eyes.
”What is it Sayo-chan!? Something bad!?” Kazumi asked worryingly. Sayo shivered in fear.
”W-we’re…w-e’re…”
”Sayo!?”
”W-we’re ON TOP of the dragon!!!”
”WE’RE ON TOP OF THE DRAGON!?!?!?”
Right after, the ‘ground’ rose up and the animals could see many places from their point of view. They could even see their farm which was oh-so-far-away at the moment. Suddenly, two parts of the ‘ground’ moved and started flapping, blowing a great powerful gust at the five animals plus one ghost. Kazumi clung onto the scales of the lizard beast, and then slipped, but managed to grab Yuuna’s leg, as the otter had a better grip on a bump on the beast’s skin. Ku Fei then lost her grip and grabbed Yuuna’s OTHER leg.
”YOU ANIMALS ARE GOING TO RIP ME IN HALF AT THIS RATE!” Yuuna yelled, especially since Ku Fei was clinging on to her permanently injured leg.
”I’m sorry-aruyoooooooo!!!”
Ako was almost crying, “Ahhhh! I’m scared! I can’t hold onto Yuuna-san for long!!!”
”That flapping thing must be its wings! It’s starting to FLY!” Kazumi stated, “IS THIS THING GOING TO FLY US SOMEWHERE!?”
”KU FEI! LET GO! MY LEG IS DYING!”
”WHAT CAN I HOLD ONTO THEN, ARUKA!?!?!”
Ako was clinging onto Yuuna’s fur, but her grip slipped, especially since she didn’t have paws nor teeth, but a beak and wings. She was almost blown away until Kazumi managed to grab her leg.
”ONEECHAN!!”
”Hold on, Ako!” Kazumi growled, as her wing-on-a-splint was the only thing clinging onto Yuuna’s leg now, “Damn! My wing feels like it’s being torn apart!”
”YOU THINK THAT’S BAD!? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF A TWO HUNDRED POUND FAT STUPID CAT WAS CLAWING INTO YOUR CRIPPLED LEG!?!?!” Yuuna screamed, who was obviously in the most agony of them all at the moment.
“HEY! I’M NOT FAT-ARU!”
Sayo was staring out at where the dragon was going, watching its every move, “We’re about four thousand feet in the air!”
”I’M SLIPPING!” Yuuna yelled, trying to hold onto the bump, but she could easily be seen slowly sliding off it.
”KU FEI! IF YOU DON’T LET GO WE’LL ALL DIE!”
”BUT…”
”YOU GOT TO LET GO! AT LEAST FOR THE SAKE OF AKO!” Kazumi yelled, “WE’LL REMEMBER YOU AS THE BRAVE TIGER WHO DIED FACING A DRAGON!”
Ku Fei gritted her teeth, “BUT I’M NOT FACING IT, I’M BEING BLOWN AWAY BY IT-ARU!”
”CLOSE ENOUGH!”
”ALRIGHT FINE! BUT YOU BETTER NOT GET EATEN BY ANYONE, KAZUMI!” Ku Fei calmed down, “FAREWELL-ARU…yo?” The tiger had let go, but didn’t go anywhere.
Sayo floated back towards the other four animals, “The dragon landed! So the flapping has stopped!”
”It’s not flying anymore?” Kazumi noticed that the wind had ceased.
”Oh, thank nikuman, I almost made a noble sacrifice-arune,” Ku Fei said.
”But I know who did…” the canary added as she pointed to the otter lying face down on the dragon’s back.
Ako ran towards the otter, “Oh no! Yuuna-san, are you ok—…b-b-bl…ga…” The chick suddenly fainted.
”Eh? That’s odd, Ako doesn’t faint at the sight of blood much anymo—oh,” the conscious bird saw what happened to the leg Ku Fei clung onto, “HOLY PEANUTS!”
”What? It doesn’t look like much-aru,” Ku Fei noted.
”YOU TURNED YUUNA’S LEG INTO BLOODIFIED SWISS CHEESE!”
Ku Fei made a guilty grin, “Oh…you mean THAT-arune…”
The canary continued, “That’s…a very gruesome sight, Kuu. Ako should never have seen that. I think Yuuna’s also out cold…”
”I’ll carry her then-aru!” Ku Fei said, “For her great noble sacrifice-aruyo!”
”…and also because it’s impossible for me to carry her.”
”Then you carry Ako-aru.”
”WHAT!? I have a dead wing—“
Ku Fei glared at the young canary, who laughed it off and picked up Ako. The bird was slightly surprised that Ako wasn’t that heavy, but that was good. She then stared at the ‘ground’ they were standing on.
”We still have this small problem, see…”
”That we’re on a dragon-aru?”
”No. That the splint of my bandage for my wing broke! Now whenever I move it, it hurts! WAH!”
Ku Fei rolled her eyes, but noticed the dragon moving. They were a bit unsteady on the moving ‘ground’ but they managed to stay put. The tiger looked at her surroundings, as she definitely did not recognize anything around her. How far did that dragon go anyway? Finally the dragon stopped, turning its head.
”Uh oh.”
”What is it-aru?”
”From the looks of that big eye staring at us…I think it knows we’re here…” Kazumi pointed.
The dragon growled as its eyes narrowed at the four creatures hanging around on its back. The ‘ground’ suddenly shook violently, as the dragon tried to swing the creatures off of it. The four creatures could barely stay on.
”What do we do!?” Kazumi asked, barely managing to stay on the dragon’s back, holding onto a bump.
Ku Fei grinned, “This…is what we do.”
The tiger leapt onto the dragon’s face, clawing and biting at its eyes while roaring.
”KUU!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”
-
”Did you just see that?” Chizuru pointed at the sky.
Natsumi nodded, a tad scared, “There was something big in the sky!!!”
”It didn’t look like any bird I know of, or a bat,” Yue thought, “in fact it looked like one of those…mythical dragons.”
Haruna grinned, “THEN WE KNOW WHERE THEY ARE, DON’T WE!?”
”Er, no we don’t,” the owl remarked.
”Where there’s something WEIRD, they’re BOUND to be there, I KNOW IT!” The penguin yelled, “LET’S GO!”
Misora chuckled, “How about we don’t go, huh? They seem good at keeping themselves alive. They’ll come back to us…definitely! Oh yes…”
”We can’t just go there! There is no substantial proof that tells us that they may be near some unidentified being in the sky!” Yue yelled.
”You just called it a dragon!”
”But they’re MYTHICAL…they don’t exist…”
”And yet, a kappa does, and what Chisame might be,” Nodoka added.
Yue thought, “Hm, point taken…but that’s not a good enough reason just to go after the creature just because we blindly think they’re there…”
”Is it me, or does something feel missing?” Setsuna said, silence took over as they thought of what might be missing.
”CHISAME!”
-
Chisame Hasegawa was running through the forest as a fox, searching for wherever four of her farm animals wandered off to. Once she saw that thing in the sky, she knew they were definitely in trouble. For it seems that the fox had experienced an encounter with a dragon before, and as always those four most troubling animals of hers were always doing dumb things, which definitely meant bumping into the dragon itself.
”They have no chance if they bumped into it…dumb idiots.”
The fox continued to dash through the forest until she was stopped by a familiar panda.
”Hello Chisame…”
”Chao Lingshen…I see. So you were behind this,” the fox growled, stepping back.
Chao smirked, “How coincidental that you of all people adopted those animals.”
”And I see that you’re responsible for the sudden appearance of technology, even making the population of the world stay calm after that. In fact, even giving them instant knowledge of how to use said technology,” Chisame said.
The panda turned around, listening to the roars of the dragon in the distance, “Is that so wrong, Chisame?”
”You changed the future!”
”That’s exactly what my goal is. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Chao reasoned, “You know why I’m doing this too. Yet you aren’t on my side. I wonder.”
Chisame frowned, “I’m not on anyone’s side. I just want to be a normal person, or fox. Not both.”
”Is that what your goal is, to rid of your ability?” Chao snickered, “Why do you waste your life going after something like that? It’s as if what makes you unique is a curse.”
”There are people who want to hunt me because of what I am, Chao. Of course I want to rid of it!”
The panda asked, “Then tell me this. Why don’t you just stay as a human, ne?”
”I have to turn back into a fox, staying in that form forever will…corrupt me, to find a word,” the fox explained, sighing.
”Then why not stay as a fox?”
”…” Chisame said nothing, as if she was trapped into a corner with nowhere to run. She had nothing she could reply to that question.
The panda laughed, as she looked upon the fox, “Of course. You have grown too accustomed to the human lifestyle. You don’t wish to rid of your current predicament. You wish to become a complete human, yo!”
”Either way, I can’t let you do this.”
”Why not? You said you weren’t on anyone’s side, ne!” The panda replied, as she turned to watch the chaos continuing at the dragon’s den.
Chisame growled, “Because they’re my animals! How do you know they’re those creatures which you heard about in the far future!?”
”If they weren’t, then why would Evangeline attack them? Why would they be involved with the daughter of the royal Koala tribe? Why would one be the daughter and heir to the Otter cult? Not only that, but they’re also the animals described as those creatures…a canary, a chick, a tiger, and an otter,” Chao explained.
”That doesn’t mean you can send them to face a dragon! That dragon isn’t any ordinary dragon some knight in shining armour can slay. It’s the one they call…Fate Averruncus,” Chisame glared at the panda as she spoke, “Nothing has survived against it.”
The panda smiled as she jumped onto a rock, pointing at the dragon’s direction, “Consider it a test. If they live through this…then they really are those four undying beasts, if not…then the dragon gets to have a meal. Besides, you are far more powerful than I can even imagine, Chisame. I wonder why you don’t just go kill that dragon yourself.”
”That would…change the future,” the fox stated, “and I don’t want to screw it up more than it is. Last time I checked it was normal, and I will not return there ever again after what YOU did.”
Chao narrowed her eyes, a sinister look took over her face, “Just sit back and watch the carnage, Chisame-chan.”
”WHAT!?”
-
Kazumi: Welcome to the omake of the story! Hi, my name’s Kazumi Asakura. You might know me as the top reporter of Mahora. That girl who announces everything, or THE REDHEAD WHO KNOWS ALL…anyway, unfortunately Ku Laozi was unable to attend due to…um, her husband went into labour…
Chisame: Oh FOR GOD’S SAKE! Let me take over! Ku ‘Laozi’, as you call her, is too busy being trapped in a closet.
Haruna: Oh! Oh! Oh! Why’s she trapped in a closet!? LEMMEGUESS! It’s because she’s making out with someone!?
Chisame: No, we threw her nikuman in there and locked the door because she’s been TORTURING us for FOUR OMAKES! DON’T WE GET TORTURED ENOUGH IN THE ACTUAL STORY!?
Haruna: Then why did you throw Yuuna in there as well? THIS MUST BE A CRACK PAIRING
Chisame: Ku Fei is a martial artist, so she can kick down a door easily. We needed someone to distract her.
Yuuna: *from the closet* And then the girl asked, “But NikumanMan! Why must you go and not leave any savoury nikuman for your BIGGEST fan!?” And then NikumanMan said, “because my nikuman are only for those in need. NIKUMANMAN AWAY! Fighting World Hunger since 1976!” And that was the story of how NikumanMan saved the Chinese from starving due to those damned Mongolians blocking their only food source from the moon…this story is retarded.
Ku Fei: *from the closet* NO! NO! READ MORE-ARU! I LOVE IT!
Kazumi: Anyway…now we’re going to do something NEW AND EXCITING! AND I AM THE HOST! HOORAY! It’s ‘Kazumi Asakura’s BIGGEST SCOOPS OF THE WEEK!’ time! We go live to the Girls’ Dorms for this biggest story you’ll ever here! Over to you, Asakura!
Chisame: Wait…what are you—
Kazumi: THANK YOU ASAKURA! Today we’re here at the girl’s dorms—
Chisame: HOW DID YOU GET FROM HERE TO THERE SO GODDAMNED FAST!?
Kazumi: AS I was saying, we’re here live at the girl’s dorm room for the juiciest scoop! I am here in front of one Chisame’s room for a LIVE REPORT!
Chisame: Wait, WHAT!? MY ROOM!?
Kazumi: *crashes down the door* As you can see, it looks like any ordinary dumb room, but what you don’t know is the PIRATE she keeps as a pet in this VERY ROOM!
Chisame: WHAT!? I DON’T KEEP, OF ALL THINGS, A PIRATE IN MY DORM ROOM!!!
Kazumi: Ah yes, the first case of the truth, DENIAL! I have an anonymous witness who believes that Chisame may be involved in a romantic relationship with said pirate, and perhaps even do things that I cannot say on a kids’ program at night!!!
Chisame: I DON’T KEEP A PIRATE IN THIS ROOM!! AND I DO NOT HAVE SE—
Zazie: ARRR! I BE A PIRATE! YARR!
Kazumi: AHA! WE HAVE FOUND THE PIRATE! Hold on a second, you aren’t even introduced in the main story, how the hell are you a guest in the omake already!?
Zazie: I have a large fanbase, see, ARR!
Yuuna: AAAHHHHHHHH! NO! NOT THE TOOTHPASTE! ANYTHING BUT THE TOOTHPASTE! KU FEI! HAVE MERCY—YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Kazumi: …the hell?
Ku Fei: NIKUMANMAN WAS NOT EATEN AND KILLED-ARU! YOU TAKE THAT BACK-ARUYO! OR I WILL SQUEEZE GUMDROPS MADE OF CYANIDE DOWN YOUR (BLEEP!)ING (BLEEP!)HOLE!
Haruna: Hm, since when was (bleep!) bleeped out? Gotta talk to those damn editors…
Ako: Oh, I don’t know why (bleep!) was bleeped out. I mean we all say (bleep!). It’s a common word and everybody says (bleep!) everyday. In fact we can even have it on a regular conversation. Bob! How is your (bleep!) today? Was everything fine with your wife’s (bleep!) as well? I sure wish I could do something with my (bleep!) but unfortunately my (bleep!) is not ready, in fact—
Sayo: The amount of sexual innuendo is massive.
Ako: I want to (bleep!) your (bleep!) Susan! No way in hell will I let you touch my (bleep!) My (bleep!) is BIGGER THAN YOURS! HA! No (bleep)ing way, that (bleep!) of yours is pathetic! Why, to make babies, a mommy and daddy has to…
Sayo: AT THIS RATE WE’RE GOING TO GET PULLED BECAUSE THIS IS NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN DAMNIT!!!
Kazumi: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! NO KU FEI! NOT THERE! ANYWHERE BUT THERE! NOT THE MOUTHWASH!! OH GOD! NO KU FEI! NO! NO—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!
Chisame: HOW THE HELL DID SHE GET IN THE CLOSET!?
Haruna: The same reason why wieners come in packages of 10 but hot dog buns in 8! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU, GOD!?
Ako: Holy mother of (bleep!). That is one TIGHT (bleep!). Yo momma’s (bleep!) is so saggy that—
Sayo: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
Misora: *came late to work* Whoa, what’s happening here!?
Ako: NO DADDY! PLEASE! DON’T TOUCH MY (bleep!)! DADDY NO!
Misora: What? Why is ‘cookie’ bleeped out?
Ku Fei: *slams out of the closet and dons Ku Laozi beard* THAT’S ALL FOLKS-ARU! Today’s lesson is to never piss Ku Fei off, or you will face the consequences-aruyo!
END TRANSMISSION…erm, omake.
-
Mm’kay…don’t mind me…I drank orange juice.
R-POTEH: Misora/Ku Fei
