![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spotto
Oh My Captain
At the centre of nowhere, a ship was slowly sailing north towards the mountains. The sun was relatively high up in the sky, but not so much that someone could receive a sore neck from trying to stare at it. That is, if someone was actually stupid enough to try to stare at the sun, would they unfortunately receive such a sore.
Today, the captain of the ship was sleeping in her own little private bedroom. She was resting on such a fine day because she had a sore neck. A few days ago the sun was extremely high up, and the crew just couldn’t help but to stare at the lovely sun. They did not heed the warnings of those few with common sense on deck, who now have to run the ship themselves. However, this captain was so amazed by the sun that her neck inevitably became sore, and that she might have gone blind if the sun did not get replaced by the moon.
Sadly no one likes the moon.
Knock Knock Knock
The door to the private bedroom was being abused by a member of the crew, who needed to speak with her tragically injured captain this fine morning. Inside such a bedroom, the captain, Yuuna Akashi, was sitting up, with her back straight, and her neck straight. She was in good posture, as there showed no signs of neck soreness. The girl was sitting cross-legged in front of a peculiar device known as a television, and playing something called video games.
”Go away! Sore neck!” Yuuna yelled, throwing an unused controller at the door. The crew member was not amused when she heard the thump from the door.
Using her massive strength, Chisame unhinged the door and threw the board of wood onto the ground. She saw Yuuna playing a game called Extreme Pong, which consisted of a little rectangular block moving up and down to smash upon a circular ball of some sort that would be smashed back from another identical block. The reason why the game was called “extreme” was because the blocks were coloured red.
”It’s such an awesome game…” Yuuna muttered as she randomly mashed buttons on her PS3 Controller. Her eyes were focused on the screen as the streaks of red bounced up and down to keep the little blurry ball from going off the screen. Chisame sighed and leaned down to turn the television off, but she was greeted with a menacing growl from her captain, who glared at her with vicious cold eyes.
The inferior crew member crossed her arms, stating, “We’re finally heading to land. I would think that you’d be a little more serious with this mission. You know, being a captain and all?”
”Sore necks can affect our judgement,” Yuuna said without much thought as she pointlessly turned the controller to express her need to move the rectangular block up.
Growling, Chisame kicked the television off its stands, which while took only a second to happen for her, took centuries of pain-staking HORROR to Yuuna who watched as her favourite game in the universe sat smashed under the television. Her eyebrows dropped, and she gritted her teeth as she turned her head to look at her crewmate.
“I was on level 57, I could’ve fought the boss—“
”Which would’ve been another block,” Chisame finished for her, “Look, there’s more important business to tend to.”
”It would’ve been a red block, Chiu! A reeeeed block!!!” Yuuna put great emphasis on the word red, which seemed like a very important colour to this captain. After all, that could explain why the whole ship was red, and that might’ve been a more believable reason than a permanent coat of blood, as the ship was known for.
The girl growled at her captain, still wondering why she was even the captain in the first place. There were shouts coming from outside the frame which no longer held a door, and Chisame knew they had finally docked. A sudden shaking of the ship startled the two when a loud shriek tinged their rather sensitive ears. Yuuna slapped her hands onto the sides of her head in response.
“This better be the right place we’re going, Chiu! Or this whole crew is in for a beating!” Yuuna claimed, shaking her fist at the lesser crewmate. Chisame sighed, knowing that the captain had never even picked up a weapon, let alone hurt a fly. Everyday that same woman would threaten the crew for lazing off, while hypocritically off dozing away in the cabin, but she would never go through with the threats, ever.
Outside, they both soon identified the one who had pierced their ears to be someone named Ako Izumi. Ako Izumi was a very small girl, with short hair to fit her description. She was one of the younger crew members, and also acted quite childish. Her naivety and innocence amused the captain, but annoyed Chisame further, especially her cowardly shrieks.
“What’s going on, mate?” Yuuna asked, walking up to a redhead, who was remarkably her first mate. Chisame had quickly assumed it was because of the girl’s hair colour.
”Aye, we’ve landed, captain!” She said, saluting in a sophisticated fashion. Her hand movement ended up smacking her hat off her head.
Yuuna patted her first mate in the back, “Don’t be silly! I know that! Why did little Ako here scream then? Are we in trouble?”
“Aye, we are in deep trouble, captain! The pirates have caught us!” The redhead turned and pointed to an ominously large ship. It was painted in a deep ravenous black, almost as if it was sucking all the light in. Yuuna found herself staring at the amazing detail of it. The ship clearly outdid their own in every way except one: Yuuna’s ship was red. She nodded in approval and signalled something to the other crew.
“Please go welcome our guests! We should organize a feast for them! What do pirates like to eat, Chiu?” Yuuna asked, while being rather oblivious to the steaming crewmember beside her.
Chisame smacked Yuuna upside the chin, causing a faint reddish mark to appear on the captain’s face, “Are you an idiot!? The pirates are trying to kill us! Why on earth is an incompetent moron like this the captain of the ship!?”
”That wasn’t very nice, Chisame!” Yuuna pointed accusingly with her slender index finger, as her other arm was busy rubbing the darkening spot on her round chin, “I am simply inviting our guests in! Don’t stereotype pirates to be evil murdering thieves! Only those who stereotype end up dead, as I say, now go research on that funny internet thing of yours so we can figure out what food these people like!”
The little girl named Ako Izumi stepped up to the captain, clearing her throat, as if some vastly important information was about to be announced, “I don’t recall pirates existing at this modern day.” Her voice was petit, like her stature, yet loud and demanding at the same time.
”Of course pirates exist! Don’t believe the mumbo jumbo your overprotective parents feed into your system, kiddo!” Yuuna replied, shaking her fist once again to prove her point, “I bet those propaganda-spreading airheads are going to tell us the tooth fairy doesn’t exist next!”
”About that…” Chisame was interrupted when the pirates boarded. They had black eye-patches covering their face, while some of their hands were replaced by sharpened hooks and blades. A few had pegs for legs, making a loud clack sound as they approached the captain. The captain of their particular coal-black ship wore the easily recognizable captain’s hat, and looked the nastiest of them all.
Yuuna held out her hand, reaching for a handshake, “Hello matey! I’m Captain Yuuna of the famous blood-red ship, Scarlet Crimson Vermillion Garnet Red Tank, otherwise known as SCVGRT!”
”What a ridiculous acronym…what a ridiculous name,” Chisame muttered. She caught an annoyed glimpse from the captain, but Yuuna did not seem to address the insult further.
The pirate captain laughed, but not in a manner that seemed like he was laughing at the atrocity of the ship’s name, as if he was laughing in a humble, happy way, “Arr, so this the famous Scurvgrit ship?”
”I don’t get why so many people call our ship with that name, but I suppose we’re that ship, alright!” Yuuna said and nodded in unison. She invited the guest into the large dining room under the poop deck, which Chisame was assigned to mop. The lesser crewmember mumbled as she did her duty.
”Yarr, I am Captain Lumberjack, arr!” The pirate captain introduced himself. He bowed rather politely and kissed Yuuna’s hand in respect. The captain was rather honoured by such a sweet and honest gesture.
Yuuna said, “Why, my father was a lumberjack!”
Chisame had finished her duty and was coming under the deck as she overheard this. She ran over the captain to make sure the irresponsible girl did not do anything stupid, as what would usually happen. Chisame also didn’t trust the pirates yet, so she made sure to keep any contact as distant as possible.
”Your father was not a lumberjack. He was a teacher,” Chisame corrected, growling at the captain’s false information.
”Well he should’ve been a lumberjack! Walking around and cutting down trees, do you know how awesomely manly that is!?” Yuuna expressed her desire for lumberjacks as she pulled out a piece of firewood and chopped it in half with a kitchen knife.
”Teachers are very important people too. If it was not for Mr. Steudel, my sailing teacher, I would not have ever gotten this job on this ship. Yet for some reason I regret that now,” Chisame explained, almost breaking down as she remembered her tragic teacher, who had died protecting her from sharks that fateful night.
Yuuna grumbled in dissatisfaction at Chisame, “Do you not have any Canadian pride!? When I was young I watched hockey everyday with my lumberjack dad! He taught me skating at the age of three! We always conversed in French! We ate poutine every single day! Sadly my dad died of a heart attack soon after for some strange reason. How sad.”
”WE ARE NOT CANADIAN!” Chisame yelled. She ran off in fuming rage. Yuuna shrugged and turned back to the pirate captain, who had an unreadable expression on his face. Suddenly, a rather questionable alarm went off throughout the ship. It was not the typical ring sound one would expect to hear, but rather the song Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
Yuuna whipped her head behind her, yelling at her first mate to report what horrible and downright awful news there was to be reported. The redhead had a grave expression on her face, as if something gigantic and shadowy was approaching behind her.
”Scary Bird? What’s the matter? What news do you bare!?” Yuuna asked, using a questionable nickname on her first mate.
A low but raspy whisper, almost senile, breathed into Yuuna’s ears. The captain could feel warm pants of air deteriorate onto her neck. Sweat rolled down the captain’s face as she stopped moving completely, and there was only a silent but short pause that chiselled itself into the walls.
”Your little friend was right, Captain. Pirates don’t exist. We’re only a band of thieves travelling the seven seas to steal goods from any unsuspecting victims like you,” the so-called pirate captain said. Yuuna felt a knife press against the side of her neck, “now be obedient and we don’t have to repaint the ship.”
Yuuna whispered, “But isn’t that what pirates are?”
”Oh, right,” Captain Lumberjack said in a normal voice, “but that’s not the point!” Several of his men quickly ransacked the ship, stealing every little piece of value within the famous blood-red ship. They scattered like ants soon after, and Captain Lumberjack was about to release his defeated hostage.
The Captain of the Scarlet Crimson Vermillion Garnet Red Tank grabbed her trusty stick, which she one day had vowed to use it to beat her crewmembers, swiftly smashed the knife out of Lumberjack’s hands. The risky action was not without injury, as Yuuna felt a warm liquid, perhaps two or three shades of colour off from the painted walls of the ship, dripping down her back. She turned to face her enemy while holding what looked like a harmless rod before.
”Aha! You have underestimated the great Captain Yuuna Akashi!” Yuuna raised her stick, which was actually no more than thirty centimetres long, to defend herself.
”
”I am your father’s good friend, Odin Thorne! We were both lumberjacks!” He said, “He always talked about his loudmouthed daughter, Yuuna! In fact, he loved you so much he got a second job as a teacher to teach kids just like you!”
Yuuna replied, “That’s right! And now you’re trying to steal all my stuff!”
”Hmm…that is a problem. I cannot steal the possessions of my late friend’s only offspring,” Lumberjack rested his chin on his hand in intense thinking. They heard rushed footsteps from the stairwell, and down came Chisame, who looked as if she had slain a million pirates.
”Captain! Are you alright?” She asked, puffing in exhaustion. Yuuna was shocked to see Chisame’s current state, as if the girl had fought her through millions of bloodthirsty pirates to see if she was safe.
”Did you kill all my men?” Lumberjack said, ultimately believing that she might actually have killed them all in her current rough condition.
”No, those bastards told me if I showed them my chest they’d let me through…but I will kill them for that…” Chisame growled as many shades of red took turns in appearing on her cheeks. She shook her fist in Yuuna-fashion from what she experienced.
Yuuna fell to her knees in front of Chisame, tears swelling in her eyes, “You…gave up your dignity…for…me?” Her hands were cupped in front of her face, almost like she was begging like a dog. Finally, the captain hugged Chisame’s legs, bawling in complete happiness.
”You’re my captain,” Chisame started, sighing, “and as much as I hate you, you are, after all, still my captain.” Yuuna jumped up from her vulnerable position, with a fiery passion in her eyes as she pointed once again with her index finger at Chisame. A gigantic grin appeared on her face and she began to give out commands.
”Scary Bird! Ako Izumi! Alert the others and the pirates, to celebrate the honourable actions of Chisame and our newfound friends, we shall have a feast!” She jumped up onto the dining table, “today is a day of success!”
Chisame peered up at Yuuna, obviously not impressed, “Trusting the pirates that easily after they tried to rob us? Are you an idiot?”
”A friend of my father is a friend of mine, Chiu, and also a friend of this crew! Now go and assist Scary Bird and Ako Izumi of the event!” Yuuna ordered, now pointing to the stairs Chisame had come in from.
Scary Bird turned around to correct her captain, “Aye, my name isn’t Scary Bird, captain, it’s Kazu--”
”Silence! All first mates have codenames! Do not reveal your weakness to the pirates so fast! Only when we have known them better can you reveal your real name! Now go and collect the crew!” Yuuna finally finished, getting down from her table. The feast was going to begin. What she did not see, though, was the incriminating look the pirate’s captain had on his face, as he felt his two swords underneath his long looming cloak, eying the minor injury he had inflicted on the optimistic Captain Yuuna. The day was far from over.
-
If you couldn't tell, I turned my original work into a fanfic. (Handed it for a project, yoosh, I know it sucks for a project and doesn't make enough since for a fanfic, BUT WHO CARES)
