Once upon a time...

It was a fine morning in Pallet Town, a small town in the Kanto Region of this great and large world. Tala Ivanov got off to a fine start, yawning in bed and watching the glistening sun peer through the window like some invasive intruder. The redhead growled.

"Shit. I slept in."

The voice of his mother further added to his annoying headache as he got out of bed and looked at the clock. He was beyond late. He quickly did the morning ritual: brushing his teeth, changing into new wonderful clothes, eating some shitty breakfast, and grunting to his mother goodbye as he left the house towards the hill and location of one Professor Oak.

"Like hell am I going to rush there anyway. All the good ones get taken at dawn. Fucking stupid clock," Tala mumbled as he walked up towards the large white building. The door slammed open, almost catching his nose as an old man stood there, pointing at the redhead. He was yelling at the obvious lateness of the young individual, and that he's lucky that one was left.

Tala entered the building with an even larger headache as they entered one of the largest rooms. There many red and white balls were scattered all over the ground, as was a bunch of scientists too who looked fried. Zeus must've electrocuted them for existing, but Tala soon saw the culprit of the victims.

The old prof crossed his arms, "Since you decided to be late and careless, you get the last Pokemon, the one with the attitude. I hope you have fun cockfightin--er, becoming a Pokemon Master."

It was some strange yellow animal wearing goggles. Pokemon don't wear goggles, people do. If Pokemon started wearing accessories, it must've been one pain in the ass. Tala picked up one of the red and white balls and approached the strange rabbit-like animal.

"And what might be your name?" Tala muttered, not really caring for what the response was, but he was bored and if he were to be stuck with this rather dangerous little cu--er, Pokemon, it better have at least a decent name.

The yellow animal focused its beady eyes on Tala, and static started sprouting from its cheeks, "RENO!"

A large blast of lightning slammed into the redhead, knocking him off his feet. Tala stood back up, his icy glare still planted on the yellow creature. He had wanted a Cloud, or perhaps a Kai, but certainly not a bloody Reno.

"Reno Reno!" The mouse started up again, static surrounding the annoying beast. It was about to attack again, but was stopped with the redhead grabbed his tail, "Alright. Get in the ball."

"One thing...it hates those balls..." The Professor added, "now get the hell out of here."

Tala grumbled, "I need a Pokedex. There's like 500 pieces of shit out there and a bloody encyclopedia might help."

"On the contrary, there's only 150. And I'm sure your careless arrogant mind will know all the Pokemon you see, you don't need one," The Professor continued, very reluctant to give this rather problematic child one of his most expensive devices.

"There's probably going to be 500 anyway. These things reproduce like rabbits. I bet there's already five different rodents that kind of look like this yellow thing anyway," Tala replied, "And you're supposed to give me one, old man."

The Professor, just wanting to get rid of the antisocial redhead, gave him a Pokedex and then proceeded to kick his annoying face out of his laboratory, literally. Tala cussed at the building and walked off, heading into the dangerous wild. Would Reno ever listen to Tala? Will Tala be able to defend himself from the mighty mysteries of the wild? Will all the annoying Rattatas and Pidgeys make him go insane!? Find out now.

Tala pulled out his Pokedex to find information about the yellow rabbit he had just obtained.

"Reno, better known as a Pikachu. The Pikachu get high on lightning and thunder. When they gather in groups, they cause many blackouts that annoy a lot of people. That's why Pikachus are treated like annoying rats and the only way to get rid of them is special mousetraps."

Wow, that helped him a lot.

A sudden annoying voice popped out of nowhere like some retarded announcer, "A PIDGEY HAS JUST APPEARED!!!!"

Tala looked up at the sky, surprised, "What the bloody fuck!?"

A pidgey flew down from the tree, squawking its name at Tala, "Pidgey! Pidgey!"

"THE PIDGEY USED SAND ATTACK!!!!"

A great amount of sand scattered onto Tala's favourite pants, angering him, "You stupid piece of shit!" The redhead threw his only Pokemon at it, Reno, which smashed into the pidgey's head.

"Okay Reno, do something."

"RENO! RENO!" The Pikachu shook its head, further agitating the already maddened Pokemon rookie, who was wondering why he wanted to become the Pokemon Master in the first place.  The Pidgey continued its annoying squawking, so Tala used the only option he had left. He picked up the reluctant Reno and ran...towards the Pidgey, kicking it.

"THE PIDGEY HAS FAINTED!!!"

Suddenly, a whole fuckload of sparrows came flying out of nowhere, pecking, clawing, and pooping on the unsuspecting redhead. This alarmed such redhead, who was greatly annoyed already that the annoying birds were messing up his hair. He started running at some random direction through the forest, swearing so many times that we'd have to write a whole novel to fit it in. Finally after a few hours of nonstop running, the redhead fell to the ground.

"YOU STUPID RAT! ATTACK THE DAMN BIRDS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!"

And Reno did, if only just to protect himself, but he did. A great epic war broke out between the single Pikachu warrior and the great army of sparrows. Zeus's mighty lightning acted like a chain reaction to terminate the evil sparrows, but alas it was even too much for Reno, who collapsed, and the remaining sparrows came down on it like vultures on a dead ox.

Tala growled, "Some use this thing is." He picked up Reno from getting massacred and continued to run towards one direction. The sparrows stupidly flew into a pole, which stopped them from following the dead tired redhead as he continued down the road. He almost reached town and an insanely hot FEMALE police officer noticed him.

"LIEK OMG! ARE YOU LIEK OAKY!?!?!?" The FEMALE police officer said, seeing Tala's condition.

"Do I LOOK okay you stupid bitch!?" Tala spat back.

The FEMALE police officer frowned, "I wuz TLKING 2 teh kwute Pikachu."

Tala could barely understand the insanely hot FEMALE police officer, but followed her until they reached some hospital for Pokemon. They entered the large blue building that had the giant words, "POKEMON CENTER" on it.

Inside, there was an insanely hot nurse who walked up to them, taking Reno from Tala, who was wondering where she was taking his only weapon of mass destructio--ahem, Pokemon.

"My naem is J3ny," The insanely hot FEMALE police officer said, "n' dis is j0y, she is l33t," she finished, pointing to the insanely hot nurse.

Tala raised his eyebrow, "What the fuck are you saying!?"

Unfortunately Tala did not notice how insanely hot the two women were, since if he did he would instantly understand them. In all actuality, Tala was as gay as a fruit could be, but he had not realized it himself yet. Nor did the stupid redhead notice every other male in existence falling head over heels for these ladies.

An hour later, Tala was reading the newspaper. One interesting story he found that a young girl named Misty murdered her sisters, and the Cerulean Gym, which he would have to go to someday, wasn't to be closed at all even though that's where the bodies were found. Tala shrugged it off when he saw Reno walking back up to him with less of an attitude surprisingly.

"it lokz liek teh pikachu is thxful 4 u 2 b savin its life, so it is hapy," j0y said.

"Are you chinese or something? I seriously cannot understand any of the shit coming out of your mouth, " Tala said.

Reno hopped onto Tala's lap, waiting for it to take it out of this hellhole. Tala soon waltzed out of the Pokemon Center, only to face two strange people...

"Prepare for trouble..."
"...and make it double..."

"Oh wow, rhyming, why don't you get to the end or leave me alone or something?" Tala mumbled, about to leave, when he did in fact hear the ending...

"Fine! LAVI! THAT'S RIGHT!"

Tala turned around, seeing a little cat in front of the two strange people. Did it just talk!?
Will Tala find out who these annoying mysterious probably-not-very-important characters are!? Did the cat Pokemon ACTUALLY TALK!? Is a Pokemon repeating its name or actually talking more annoying!? Does Tala care!? FIND OUT NEXT TIME BECAUSE I'M TOO LAZY TO WRITE ANYMOAR.

Spotto out.
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R-POTE:  Misa/Chachamaru