The fifth BIFF anniversary is approaching near...

Five years, quite a milestone I must say. On January 21st, 2004, BIFF was created...

To celebrate, I shall post various quotes! Except none from before September of 2006 because they were on my old computer and that computer died D:

Spot: On the ballot that says: Dumbass (square) Dumbass (square) Dumbass (square) Check nothing and write AOI FOR PREZ YARR
Kirami: WHO WOULD BE DARING ENOUGH TO RUN AGAINST AOI?
Akira: a dumbass
Kirami: >>;;

Kirami: I'm going to die for a moment
Kirami: Hang on

Akira: i had 12 orages today
Akira: oranges***
Ami: owah
Spot: TWELVE!?
Akira: im obsessed
Spot: You sure they aren't those mini-oranges called tangerines?
Akira: hmmm...dunno
Akira: they were orange
Ami: is that going to overbalance your acid suplly in your tummy
and then your tummy is going to dssolve away yout ummy
and cause internal bleedign
and then you`ll die?
Akira: i don't mind
it'll be a funny death

that is all for now 8D

Here's something rare.

Fifth year BIFF anniversary eh? Let me type up something that I probably haven't done in ages. Oh, the good ol' days.

Max is the single most powerful Beyblader in that entire anime.

He is also...
The Smartest
The most Badass
The most Mature
The most Emo
The most Rebellious

and obviously...the cutest!

Of course, these claims must be backed up. Let Spotto tell you why I believe these things.

Although largely thought of as the weakest link in BBA, perhaps only second to Daichi, Max actually has greater potential power than the forces of anybody else even combined. Why do you think I say this? Because he has shown it. The scoreboard may not be showing what his is capable of, but every Max episode you watch, even when he loses, he accomplishes something greater, or goes down with a bang. Has anyone else actually lost with a bang? Anyone at ALL? I must say of all losses, Max's are the most enjoyable, and even though wins would be better to watch, unfortunately he doesn't have that many. (The ones he does have suck, lol)

In the first season, the preliminary rounds into making the Japanese team has Max against Kai. Oh noes, Kai is totally going to win, not only is his weapon an awesome flaming bird, but for some reason all the girls go with his horrible attitude and antisocial accents that if he were real girls would hate him. Max on the other hand is friendly, kind, and cute. Seriously, what is the taste of these fangirls lately. I suppose since his fashion sense was rather skewed in the first season he didn't grab a lot of people to his liking, regardless...Max is still powerful. Against Kai, Max didn't even have a bit-beast yet, and it was at that instance he got one. He lost to Kai, but he held out without even a bit-beast against the much more experienced Kai, who was trained to battle in a bloody abbey for christ's sake. Max was a freakin' noob and he somehow held out! Didn't win, but he sure showed much more promise than anybody else did!

His next major battle would be against Michael in the American tournament but I unfortunately must say that was probably the worst arc ever in Beyblade history, so I will not comment on it. What I will say is that Max won, so good on that. (His mom is a b!tch....how did Max grow up to become happy and social with parents living on different countries and a mother who throws him at the wolves constantly?)

The Kai is Evil arc is one instance where Max shines the most. Kai has defeated Takao, Rei, and Kenny (LULKENNY) with ease, at the same time, 1v3. Omfg! All hope is lost! Then suddenly Max comes out of nowhere in the sky like Jesus...okay, I won't compare Max with Jesus, that's Rei. He goes against Kai who has EVERY SINGLE BIT-BEAST HE HAS STOLEN! That's not just 1v1, that's 318751638575v1! And Max not only held out but made Kai panick! Then Takao sent out Dranzer and shoved his foot right up into Kai's ass. That's what you get for going crazy you emo git.

Then he loses Draciel...which I theorize is because his beyblade is tired from fighting off many many many bit-beasts...after all, only Jesus and Rei can survive that, after all. How unfair. So, so far the only times Max has lost was against Kai as a noob where he did quite well anyway, and here where he was double-teamed by the NeoBorg after fighting off millions of bit-beasts. WHAT A WARRIOR!

So Max pwned Kai. Badly. Very badly.

Now, after that Rei owns Bryan after almost dying and Takao somehow defeats crazy insane crack-whore Tala, and thus off to season two we go! Where Max's brand new makeover makes him the most cutest thing you've EVER seen since NEVER! It was his many instances of absolute adorable cuteness in episode 35 or 36, I forget, that had brought me to this fandom. I mean seriously, tops hitting other tops is totally lame, but Max was too cute and overcame that aspect, so now I don't really care about it.

His first battle was against some creepy kid, which he easily defeated. First of all, Max seems to start first against opponents this season, which means it is Max who has no idea what to expect. Therefore Max actually gets all the hardest battles, and Takao, who always fights the last ones knows that from all his watching what to expect (which is like anything regarding cheating, since that's basically this entire season in summary. EVERYONE CHEATS! Even he tried once. Silly stupid Takao.)

His next battle against Jim was this season's shine. Max absolutely obliterated Cyber Draciel, not once, BUT TWICE and not only with a complete disadvantage, but in row! Of course, Max was acting rather uncharacteristically STUPID this episode, trying to beat Jim over and over again for no reason but pride. However, that actually made him pretty badass and reckless. Did you see his FACES in this battle!? THEY WERE MORE INTENSE THAN KAI'S! And that's saying something! Kai made a pretty epic one against Goki to avenge the death of Yuuya, but that was just one shot (I must admit those feathers are awesome) but Max had much more than one in the episode. Plus, did I mention he defeated Jim not once, but twice? He almost did it thrice too, but Draciel was like: "Aw c'mon, he'll just get fixed again and I'll die! OMFG I AM SO TIRED I TOTALLY NEED A REDBULLZ!!!!! I probably will be less abused inside a giant tube in a laboratory...fuck you Max! *falls on ground pretending to be hurt*" ...and that's why Max lost.

Another badass moment, at the end of that arc the giant tower is falling down, crumbling on himself. He runs back in to get Draciel. God damnit it Max, you are fucking awesome. You are the shit. You are so much fucking cooler than the rest of them, even Jesus Rei might have to fear the power you're fucking accumulating because you're so badass. You could kick their asses all the way to next Tuesday, damn Max, damn!

Also, he just stands there when Dunga hits him after he lost. Because he knew he was stupid and an idiot and all, and took the punishment like a MAN. I mean if someone is running at you with their fist out, why else would you stand there and just watch? And did you see how sad he looked, and emo he looked after that? He admits his stupidity too! What a mature kid! He's learning and growing up so fast, and had much more potential than Takao and Kai as a noob (we have never seen Rei as a noob but who knows. That might be forbidden to a mortal's eyes) I can't believe he did it with such a neglectful mother. SPOTTO IS SO PROUD! *sniff*

We're not finished either.

Not only did Max grow up with a bad mother, he probably grew up in da hood, yo! Why else would his best friend who we never hear of again go and steal something extremely precious and everything!? Max must have been around many many bad influences! After all, America does have the most murders of all developed countries! Max has accomplished so much within his horrible neglectful childhood! No wonder he moved in with his dad.

His battle versus Mariam was meh. Of course he'd win, but let's detail more badass moments of Max! He's so intelligent wth strategies and defense! He evaded Mariam's Sharkthingy (I refuse to call it Sharkrash, that makes no sense. It's like describing a rash on your skin as the shape of a shark, or as painful as a shark bite...) and beat it up bad with great confidence. But before that, he and Mariam were trapped under a big fucking building that went down...THAT'S THE SECOND TIME THIS SEASON! And guess what? He didn't escape like before, but he SURVIVED. How fucking badass is that, surviving a tumbling building with few injuries!? Not only that but he saves Mariam's life! Now, if we add that in with his aid of saving Kai's life first season (ANOTHER PWN!)...that's two for the count! He even gets an injury and one of those cliche "ZOMFG YOU'RE HURT! I MUST AUTOMATICALLY USE ANY CLOTH ON MYSELF, EVEN MY BRA, TO WRAP AROUND IT TO HEAL!" which only adds to Max's badassery.

His next battle is against Zeo. THE BIG BAD of the series. Okay, how many times has someone else faced the BIG BAD besides Takao? Sure Kai did against Brooklyn later on, but that's after being obliterated by him and almost dying. Yeah the comeback is epic, but Max only gets one chance and he also lost, losing his turtle as well. Max never got a second chance, so Kai's just lucky.

So what did Max do against Zeo? Well, what do you know, Zeo had Kai's Dranzer at the time, even summoned it to epic hax pwnage Cerberus, which surprised Max and caught him off guard, knocking him out. Yes, that's why he lost. Max could have easily defeated Zeo if it weren't for Kai being epic fail there. I mean Max ran into a building to get Draciel back and Rei almost kamikazed himself vs. Dunga/Josef with Kai and Kai can only sit there wide-eyed!

Hold up.

Gee, how many times has Max pwned Kai now? Three? Heh. Max >>>>>>>>>>>>> Kai so far. Goddamnit Kai, you overrated son of a bitch.

Max was extremely epic in that battle, scaring Zeo shitless and making him break at the beginning of the Takao vs. Zeo battle. Damn, Max. YOU SURE LIKE BREAKING THINGS LOLOLOLOL. If he can't win he'll break you. That's why he goes out with a bang. He'll take you down with him, destroying everything in his path. He is the CUTE BADASS RECKLESS LITTLE MAXIE!!!! RAAAWR!

It also does not end here. Takao finishes off what little of Zeo is like (he's broken, crazy, and have an overpowered turtley bird three-headed dog) and now off to G Revolution.

Unfortunately, G Revolution is more like TEH KAI AND TAKAO SEASON OF DOOM YARR! Who r Rei n' Max, I no know who dey are! TEEHEEHEE! But Max had his moments there too. He showed his emo, badass, intelligence, and recklessness all in one or two servings that season. Against Takao? DESTROYED HIS BEYBLADE, ZOMFG. Did Rei do that? Unfortunately not so much, but he did turn Kai's beyblade into a pretty sparkly purple beyblade. (Srsly the lighting made his Beyblade look so unbelievable gay, xD. Subtlety, much?) He even had the most epic comeback and was actually supposed to win but TAKAO HAX! Srsly, what Takao did was not possible. How can you send Max's own attack against him so bloody easily? It looked so easy and so fast! Takao definitely hax there. Also he talked some sense into Rick, who is one of the wolves his mother threw him against. Stupid mother, showing his great maturity.

And also, episode 45, where everybody thinks Max will not win because he sucks. Stupid people don't realize that he is in fact the strongest. He has faced millions of bit-beasts, a mutant bit-beast, and clone bit-beast and beat two of them, one TWICE and almost beat one. What the hell can stop him now? Oh, some random masked dude who likes to disappear all the time. Woo.

So he goes emo for a bit, now I know people say Kai "is so much more emo than everybody else" well I say you are wrong. Walking around looking like a hobo in a crappy brown cloak looking hypnotized is not emo, it's psychotic or mental retardation. Being emo and depressed is when you have no confidence in yourself and you wish you were dead. Max showed signs of that in two seasons so far (the first one he was much happier. Do you see this trend? As Max continues into teenagehood he is getting sadder...the path of the emo!) In season two after being defeated by Jim, he's all like: "I r failure. I deserve nothing. I r be beat up by Dunga because I should be. I fail. I should go die plox.) And now here everyone is like "ZOMFG MAX IS TEH SUX" and Max is all: THEY'RE RIGHT I SUX! I GO DIES NOW!

So yeah, Max is emo. Not Kai. Kai's just very sappy/stupid/blah.

So in this battle he fights them all off despite a massive disadvantage, and even has a BRILLIANT strategy (every battle of his is!) where he angles his beyblade when it is hit! How intelligent of Max! He comes out with a tie, not a win, but regardless it was enough! Finally the fans started to appreciate Max a little more, except their cheering sounded absolutely retarded.

Also mayonnaise rulez.

Therefore, I can conclude that Max is the most powerful, the smartest, the most emo, the most reckless, the most badass, and the most mature. Obviously the cutest too, we all knew that.

Now look at these epic shots of Max and tell me that isn't badass:


<- slightly retarded actually lul


^ESPECIALLY badass.

And this GIF, Max taking his lil' punishment LOL.

That totally should have broken his jaw? Guess what. IT DIDN'T. Max is HARDCORE MAN.

And that ends my "Max is better than everyone else with the possibility of Rei" rant. Thank you for reading those who bothered to. To remember the tradition that was BIFF.