Spot's Vision of the Beyblade Movie!
Apr. 8th, 2005 08:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spottoYes, I realize I already spoke about the movie, btu I haven't really
told you HOW I felt about it. I watched it a second time (after
forwarding the boring parts) and my view of it has changed slightly.
I'm jsut going to RECAP the whole thing in my own view, because it is
kind of weird in some way. Anyway...one day, our friend Billy decides
to get the Beyblade Movie.
Walmart Helper: Hello! We sell things for 2 cents cheaper! If you want to buy air in the future, we have a deal, we'll sell it for 7 cents cheaper than other companies!
Billy: *buys the Beyblade Movie*
Walmart Helper: Thank you, drive 50 miles to get here just because it's 2 cents cheaper again!
Billy; *at home* Oh joy! The Beyblade Movie, this is going to be great! *inserts disk*
TV: And now for your SNEAK PREVIEWS!!!!!
Billy; Since when do DVDs have SNEAK previews of other movies?! *clicks Menu* hmm...*clicks play*
Look, a blue and purple energy disk hits the ground! There goes the debris, how exciting!!!
Dragon thing craved in stone: Blah blah blah blah.
Billy: OH NO! DID BEYBLADE TURN INTO A STONE AGE DOCUMENTARY?!?!?
CHEERS
Takao: Yeah! I'm going to beat this kid! GO DRAGOON!
Billy; The other kid's using a MASTER Dragoon for hell's sake! All the minor characters do in that damn season!
Which means that this MASTER DRAGOON user must've beaten some of the Baldebreakers to be in the finals, I mean, what the hell?!
Max: His Master Dragoon started lecturing Draciel to death...T_T
DJ Jazzy: And once again, Takao beats a crappy Master Dragoon user! Now Takao, explain to me why you wanted to win again?
Takao: Just to show those losers that the original Dragoonc an beat their masters twice ina row, >P
Max: Don't diss Master Dragoon! I used it when I was a kid...T_T
Rei: You did? I did too!!
Kai: Funny..same...
Kenny: That's weird, my first beyblade was a Master Dragoon too.
Bladebreakers: THOSE DAMN EBYBLADE CLERKS RIPPED US OFF!!!
Hiromi:Well, as you know the saying, "LET IT RI-
Daichi: SHUT UP!!!
Takao: Who're you?
Daichi: I'm Daichi, and I'm going to beat you Takao, and become the best of Japan! (Which, 98% of all beybladers in Japan use Master Dragoons, and thus the remaining 2% win easily...=P)
Meanwhile...
Old Man: And we're hiking in the middle of nowhere because I am an old man and that's just what us Old men do!
Daniel: *Is a short midget crybaby* And you had to drag us along....
Old Man: Exactly! We be annoying to you kdis, jsut like you're annoying to us!!!
Henry: *is a stupid geek that likes comics* WOW! The Green Lantern just ate a Green Apple!!!
Steven: *is a fat person, yeah, fat* Can I have a green apple?
Ashley: *Is a person who's afraid of snakes and is ridculously annoying* Eww, I hate everything green, like, duh!
Daniel: man, where'd you learn all that language anyway?
Ashley: From a noble shopper in Russia. He had beautiful red hair and seemed to wear a disco suit. He taught me all about shopping and like totally shown me the true meaning of like, life.
Henry: AHH! Mr. Old Man! My glasses are acting like magnifying glasses and burning my face!!!!
Old Man: Ugh....
Back to the Beyblade stadium....
Daichi: HA! I AM WINNING!
Takao: Your Beyblade looks like a disguised Master Dragoon for some reason...OMIGOSH! WHAT THE HECK?!
Daichi: Wow, there's a lgiht coming out! Last time it did that, it showed me a slideshow of my Grandma's Adventures in India! I saw a Snake eat her! ^___^
Rei: Did you know that there's a wallpaper of us in the audience gasping?
Max: WHAT?! Hey! They can't take a picture of us gasping and stick it in the public! I WANNA SUE!!!
Kai: Let me guess, I was gasping too.
Rei: How'd you know?
Kai: I DON'T gasp. Those producers made me, and now they're showing it to the public!
Suddenly, a CELLPHONE rings!!!
Kai: Hello? Oh hi Yuriy.
Yuriy; Hey kai! There's this like totally super fab sale at the Russian Mall over here!
Kai: Your point?
Yuriy: Just calling that I have like, your credit card here! Thanks for dropping it on the like, dirty ground for me to use it! We're like, totally best girlfriends forever! Ciao! *hangs up*
Kai: Oh joy.
Daichi: Y'know, MY BEYBLADE STILL HAS A LIGHT COMING OUT OF IT!!!!
*rumble, earthquake!!!*
Meanwhile,
Old man: Oh no! We stupidly walked into this random cave with LEET language engraved on the wall and now it is crumbling down on us! Run, my stupids, RUN!!!
PHSEW!!!!
Ancient Tops: You will pay for replacing us with your modern beybl-SMASH!!!
Henry: Stupid tops, I'm trying to read comics!!!
Thus the broken ancient tops become...MODERN BEYBLADES!! Gaspies!!!
*energy going everywhere*
Ashley: Oh my god! I broke a nail!
Daniel: MOMMY! WAHHH!!
Steven: I am willing to eat one of you to lessen the horror and pain!
Henry: I can't see! I dropped my glasses!!!
BAM!!!
Old Man: What the?! Are you ok? hey, you're not Ashley, Ashley was more of a stupid sl*t than yo-
Ashley: Mwahahaha...DID YOU CALL ME A SL*T?!
Henry: Can it, girl. it's time to bring forth the banished Dark bit-beasts!!!!
Steven: Despite being turned evil, I am still willing to eat one of you to lessen the pain!
Meanwhile...
Takao: *makes Dragoon slightly tap Strata Dragoon*
*Strata Dragoon flies out of the ring!*
Daichi: OH NO! I challenge thee again!!
Takao: No way! I had enough of this cowness! *walks off*
Daichi: No, I must! YOU STUPID JAZZY DUDE! *uses awesome karate skills and flips the DJ back onto the ground*
DJ Jazzy: MY SPLEEN!!! O.o
50 gabzillion security guards: HIYAH!!! *suddenly get kciked off by awesome karate skills*
-------------------
"Welcome to the Japanese Festival, it is just like normal Japan, except more expensive, YAY!!!!"
Takao: Wow, so much food...Mmmmm...Dead Squid Eye, Scorpion Sticks! (No offence to Japanese cuisines) OOH! AND SUSHI! (just to make those cuisines happy...)
Rei: Hob me! Dere's ah buddle sbuck bin mah toat!
Max; Rei! I cannot understand you because you have a bubble on a stick-like food in your mouth!
Rei: Hob me! Id sbuck!
Max: I will gladly rob you.
Kenny; For some reason we seemed to have skipped the Ms. Kincade's mother scene...
Ms. K's mom: Oh! I forgot about that! Why, you boys look marvelous! Aww, the one with the cap is so plump! That's so kute! And you sir, did you dye your hair?!
Max: ...I'm American...
Ms. K's mom: AN AMERICAN?! WERE YOU ASSOCIATED WITH THE PEOPLE THAT DROPPED THAT ATOM BOMB HERE?!?! Get out of our country!!! ROAR!!
Max: MEEP! O.O...but I wasn't born the-
Ms. K's mom: I will never accept an excuse like you weren't born yet!!! >=( And you sure, what's with the waiter outfit?
Rei: Ime ahh Shineze blath bat.
Ms. K's mom: Right, I think I'll talk to no eyes, I'm sure he isn't retarded....oh wait...
Kenny: HEY!!
Ms. Kincade: And that's my mom, and since I'm overly nervous with Takao, i will gladly pay for everything he wants to buy in this whole coutnry, everybody is happy! Who wants monopoly money? EH?!
Daichi: HAHA! I NOW CAN RE-CHALLENGE THE PLUMP ONE!
Takao: No, I'm eating corn!!!
Meanwhile...
Max: So WHY are we moving around and clapping our hands?
Rei: I think it's a Japanese dance. (the sucker thing in his mouth is gone now, =P)
Max: Bah, I can never understand Japanese culture, might as well drop a bomb on i-
Ms. K's mom: *glares at Max*
Max: ...not saying that I would drop a bomb on Japan! I mean, who would?! Japan is the BEST place in the world! I wish I could clap my hands ALL day!
Rei: Then you would be in a nut house.
Max: Huzzah.
-------------
Takao: Thanks for throwing away my corn. beware, there's some flies on it.
Daichi: o.o...*faints*
Takao: Hey, you were supposed to faint in the Graveyard when you saw me! HEY!!
Kenny: Damn! I lost that bet with Max, if corn or Takao was scarier, grrr...well, we'll just tell him he fainted when he saw you Takao, that way I can have my....
-------------------
Badadadada...
Daichi: *eating breakfast very fast but he's jsut eating a bowl of plain rice in 2.5 seconds...* MORE!
Takao: MORE!!
Max: Is plain rice really supposed to fill us up?!
Rei: if it works for the Anime Budget, then yes.
Max; Don't speak of Politics with me! I saw you reading that book! it read, "Sexual Identities" "Queer Politics" YOU WANNA BE AN EVIL POLITICAN, DON'T YA?!?!
Rei: ...you saw me reading that boo- I mean, it was Kai's. yeah, Kai's very queer, that's why he's quiet all the time and most of his friends are boys.
Max: -_-
Rei: And they're IMAGINARY friends, haha! Imaginary Political Queer Friends, yeah!
Max: You're scaring me.
-------------------
Max; YAY! THE SEA! Where we can catch lots of disease without knowing it!
Takao: And that chance of a GIANT Tsunami-
Max: Hey! Don't diss those people who died on that tsunami! That's JUST HARSH!
Takao: ...but I was talking about the chance, I mean I wasn't talking abou-
Max: YOU"RE THE CRUELLEST PERSON I KNOW! I hope you enjoy it in hell!
Takao: There aren't tsunami's in hell, Max.
Max: Shut up!
Rei: Wow, such a nice day.
Kenny; You know, Rei, that fat lady is right when she says you're always in that waiter suit. GET IN BEACH CLOTHES!
Rei: Don't be hypocritical Kenny !You're not in beach clothes, you're in Sumo Wrestling clothes! ha! I bet I could ebat you in Sumo Wrestling!
Kenny; umm, I didn't-*gets dived on by Rei*
Takao: *on the boat* Why are we on a boat? We can swim!
Hiromi: We need more props, that's all, and Daichi's supposed to not know how to swim...
Daichi: Ahh, shut up.
Takao: I shall go swimming with my fellow minion sharks, MWAHAHA- I mean, I'm going in for a dip, ^^;;; *jumps in, and suddenly looks like a BOOT-TEE-FUL bishie underwater!*
Shark: Oh WOW!!!
Anyway....
Hiromi: So Daichi, how come you're bothering us so much to battle Takao voer spinning tops and all?
Daichi: Well, it happened two years ago...
--------------------
FLASHBACK!!
Ozuma: *whistling* I wonder what happens if I loosen these ropes on this bundle of logs.
CRUMBLE!!!
Two workers: AH!
Daichi's dad: OH NO! NOW I MUST SAVE THEE WITH MY OWN LIFE! *jumps in*
CRASH!!
Daichi: DADDY!!!!
Ozuma: ...oops. *looks around and runs off*
Daichi: Daddy! How could you torture your son by saving two dorks?!?!
Daichi's dad: Daichi, please, take this beyblade. Win for me or I shall haunt you. *dies*
Daichi: NOOOO!!! DAADDDY!!!!!
---------------
End flashback.
Hiromi: So you're beyblading for your father, that's sad.
Daichi: Yeah...
Takao: Alright! I will beyblade you because I'm stupid! *shoots beyblade*
Daichi: GOOOO SHOOOOOOT!!!!! *shoots beyblade*
Ms. Kincade: hey, what's going on over there?
Kenny; They're beyblading!
Rei: Just when I was explaining Imaginary Politic-
Max: Shut up Rei, just shut up.
-------------------------
Meanwhile...
Henry: I smell stench! It's the golden dragon!!!! Let's go!
Steven: I forgot my pants!!! ;_;
Daniel: And I thought I was the crybaby...
Ashley: How can you forget your pants? it's a whole tacky outfit!!!
Steven: I don't know.
Henry: Well we're going anyway! *5 seconds later they appear on a cliff* LOOK! *leaps off onto boat*
Daniel: He rushes too much...>>
Daichi: HEY! Who are YOU?!
Daniel: Bring out that stupid dragon, kid! *whacks beyblade* Come out, you damn dragon! And because everybdoy else are pest, GOODBYE!!! *throws Takao and Hiromi off boat*
Hiromi: There are sharks here...o.o
Strata Dragoon: ROAR!! LOOKIT ME! I'M ALL GOLD AND BLINDING!!!!
Takao: Holy crap!
Rei: See! My imaginary political queer friend says that saying crap on movies is agaisnt the law! Officer, arrest him!!
Max: My goggles are acting like magnifying glasses and burning my hair.....AHHHH!!!!
Strata Dragoon: but I am not born yet! I must return to my spinning shell! *returns to beyblade*
Daniel: Now we must go back to Demon Rock Island! *makes boat float* Hurry up guys, I don't got all day!
Steven: I'm not jumping off the cliff, I FORGOT MY PANTS!
Daniel: You stupid whiner, oh look, Ashley already jumped. Well..there's always...*pushes Steven off cliff, who falls into swampy area face down* oops.
Henry: If you killed him you are dead, someone must control Dark Draciel!
Max; Oh, oh, can I?
Henry: No, your hair is on fire.
Max; Damn!!! AHHH! HAIR ON FIRE!!!
Henry: oh well, we can always let this shellfish control Dark Draciel, let's go!!!
Daniel: I killed Steven, yay!
*And thus the freaks, missing one freak, kidnaps Daichi and goes away*
Takao: No, Daichi! I NEEEEEEEED YOU!!!!
Hiromi: O.o...
---------------------
Takao: What do we do?
Kenny: According to my readings, the power of their beybaldes exactly match the readings of the multiple earthquakes we never bothered to mention.
Max: We have to go to Demon Rock Island!
Everybody else: Why?
Max: Because...I AM AMERICAN!
Everybody else: GASP! We must go to Demon Rock Island!!
And thus they go to Demon Rock Island.
Takao: Daichi! I NEED YOU!
Daichi: MWAHAHAHA! I am evil now, so being the typical evil bad guy, I msut attack you Takao, using effort to give you a heart attack even though that never happens!!!
Takao: Dragoon! Come out and fight!
Dragoon: oh, first I have to battle 95 billion old Dragoons to beat the championshops, and NOW you want me to fight a GOLDEN dragon?! Y'know what? I'd rather be trapped in stone.
Dark Draciel: Why not? Aww, my shellfish is cute! =3
And in 0.2 microseconds, Dragoon is trapped in stone.
*the place is starting to crumble down*
Max: TAKAO! MOVE IT!!!
*And Max bravely saves Takao's life, he really did on the movie, AND NOBODY BOTHERED TO NOTICE*
Max: Stupid people, they never notice blondes doing heroic things. Blondes deserve more!
Rei: Takao's trapped behind a slab of rock!!! And my lawyer says I shouldn't care!
Max; BUT I JUST SAVED HIS LIFE! HOW DID HE GET TRAPPED BEHIND A WALL OF ROCK?!?!?!
Rei: Because Takao likes Dragoon better than you?
Max: I hate that as*hole.
----------------------
Takao: Dragoon, our bond can break us free....TO CRAP WITH IT! let's jsut make this palce explode!
Kaboom.
---------------------
Meanwhile..
Kai: The city is being destroyed. I finally get a line since the beginning of this whole story...
Ashley: HAHAHA!! You cannot get through me and Mr. Shellfish!!!
Kai: You're destroying the city?! I wouldn't care if you did, BUT YOU'RE USING FIRE! AND FIRE IS ME! That's it, you shall pay!
Oh god, did I just go completely OOC?!
Ashley: ...yes..
Kai: Screw this movie. Go shoot!
Dranzer: AWWWK!!!!
Ashley: So you control the BBQed Chicken, eh? Well guess what? Mine's the overcooked version.
Kai: 'Tis a shame, huh?
Ashley: Yeah...
Kai: Anyway...chicken fight!!!
And the Dranzers go at it!!!!
Henry: Now it is our cue to come it and make it unfair. Oh how I love cheating! ^___^
Daniel: Yeah...
Henry: Now Kai, we will not seal your bit-ebast just like we did Dragoon!!
Kai: You finally sealed Dragoon? My god, that dumb dragon just refused to be taken from Takao; he's always with him! I thank you! THANK YOU!
Takao: We're coming to help Kai!
Henry: What? You broke the seal?!?!
Kai: Damn it!
Rei: You broke another LAW!!!!
Max: I want to pet Dark Draciel!!!!
Takao: i broke the seal because that wall of rockw as really a cheesegrater! A CHEESEGRATER!!!
Henry: The cheesegrater is known as the mroe strongest barrier of all! No matter, we outnumber you!
Takao: You do?
Ashley: Don't you recognize the shellfish?! It controls Dark Draciel!
Max: WHAT?! A freakin sea creature took that job from me when I owned the original Draciel?! ARGH! BS!
Kai: Hey, Max, Rei! Let's do a stupid frontal attack strong enough to knock us out.
Rei: Ok!
Max: Yay! We're going to get knocked out!
BASSSH!!!
But, unfortunately, Ashley and Daniel also get knocked out!
Henry; No, it is only me and the Shellfish! Oh, and Daichi, sorry I didn't know you existed there.
Daichi: Grrr... MWAHAHAHA! Attack, Strata Dragoon!!
Takao: But Daichi, I AM YOUR FATHER!
Daichi: What?! My father died!
Takao: I have taken the body of Takao your friend, to haunt you for not winning!
Daichi: I wasn't the one that jumped under those logs!
Takao: Listen to me...Daichi....overcome the evilness so you can kick Takao's butt...look, I'm doing it for hiM! Woo! HEHEHEHE!!
Hiromi: O.o
Takao: I must go now, Daichi, remember my words...
Daichi: Daddy! You stupid Takao! You will apy for getting rid of him!!!
Takao: oh yeah? Well my Beyblade is RED now! SO I AM UNSTOPPABLE! BECAUSE THE COLOUR RED IS COOL!!! AND MY BEYBLADE IS RED!!
Daichi: oh no! The colour red is my weakness!!! *turns good again* yay! I will now join Takao for utterly no reason whatsoever!!
Takao: Yay!!!
Henry; No matter, I and the shellfish can take you down!
------------
Meanwhile.
Rei: Wow, so this is the State of Unconsciousness.
Max: Yep, it's the lost state of America, nifty, eh?
Kai: Where Yuriy can't complain to me about outrageous prices at the mall.
Redneck: Howdy!
Rei, Max, Kai: AHHHHH!!! REDNECKS! RUNNN! RUNNN!!!!
--------------------
Rei: *wakes up* What a horrible nightmare! Is Takao dead yet?
Kenny; Nope.
Kai: Let me guess, he won in a stupid way because bad guy's weaknesses are always stupid things.
Kenny: Yep.
Max: This sounds like a job for...TRENCHCOAT-
Kai: THE PROBLEM IS OVER, WE WON.
Daniel: WAHH!! I WAS SO SCARED!!
Ashley: Me too! And my nail broke again! Ack! So many wrinkles udner my eyes! Where's that redhead? I need some advice?!?! OHMIGOSH! MY CELLPHONE BROKE!!!
Henry: Where's Steven?! Wahhh! He was my best friend! *sees shellfish* Aww, do you want to be my friend? You do! Yay! We could read comics and solve the digits of PI together! Best friends!
And thus, they returned to Demon Rock island, destroyed the place because they hated having adventures. Went on the boat and saw Daichi.
Ms. K's Mom: Well, he said he wanted to beyblade someone, but I still wasn't satisfied and he said he'll also kill an American...so I drove him out here!
Max: Y'know, I'm actually only Half-American, I'm also Half-Japanese!
Ms. K's mom: YOU'RE A SINNER BREED?! AN INTERBREED?!?! THAT IS EVEN WORSE! WHERE'S MY PLANK! I MUST PLANK THIS BLONDE BOY TO DEATH!!!
Rei: Sigh...
Kai: Why so glum?
Rei: My imaginary friend left for Paris...he said I was too cat-like. T_T
Kai: I know it's hard gettign dumped, Rei...*puts hand on shoulder....the puts it around Rei's neck*
Rei: O.O
Max: Trenchcoat Max says maybe Kai did read those political books.
Ms. K's mom: COME HERE YOU BRAT! *holds butcher knife*
Max: And Trenchcoat Max must leave! if he doesn't come back he's solving his own murder case!
Daichi: Lookit me! I'm drowning, Rei got a new boyfriend named Kai, Max is going to get murdered, and Takao is stupid. That's the end of this movie, no offense to anybody! Thsi was jsut for the sake of humou- ACCCKKK!! *gets stuffed into water*
Kiki: THAT'S FOR RIPPING ME OFF! As Spot says, BIBI!
-spot
Walmart Helper: Hello! We sell things for 2 cents cheaper! If you want to buy air in the future, we have a deal, we'll sell it for 7 cents cheaper than other companies!
Billy: *buys the Beyblade Movie*
Walmart Helper: Thank you, drive 50 miles to get here just because it's 2 cents cheaper again!
Billy; *at home* Oh joy! The Beyblade Movie, this is going to be great! *inserts disk*
TV: And now for your SNEAK PREVIEWS!!!!!
Billy; Since when do DVDs have SNEAK previews of other movies?! *clicks Menu* hmm...*clicks play*
Look, a blue and purple energy disk hits the ground! There goes the debris, how exciting!!!
Dragon thing craved in stone: Blah blah blah blah.
Billy: OH NO! DID BEYBLADE TURN INTO A STONE AGE DOCUMENTARY?!?!?
CHEERS
Takao: Yeah! I'm going to beat this kid! GO DRAGOON!
Billy; The other kid's using a MASTER Dragoon for hell's sake! All the minor characters do in that damn season!
Which means that this MASTER DRAGOON user must've beaten some of the Baldebreakers to be in the finals, I mean, what the hell?!
Max: His Master Dragoon started lecturing Draciel to death...T_T
DJ Jazzy: And once again, Takao beats a crappy Master Dragoon user! Now Takao, explain to me why you wanted to win again?
Takao: Just to show those losers that the original Dragoonc an beat their masters twice ina row, >P
Max: Don't diss Master Dragoon! I used it when I was a kid...T_T
Rei: You did? I did too!!
Kai: Funny..same...
Kenny: That's weird, my first beyblade was a Master Dragoon too.
Bladebreakers: THOSE DAMN EBYBLADE CLERKS RIPPED US OFF!!!
Hiromi:Well, as you know the saying, "LET IT RI-
Daichi: SHUT UP!!!
Takao: Who're you?
Daichi: I'm Daichi, and I'm going to beat you Takao, and become the best of Japan! (Which, 98% of all beybladers in Japan use Master Dragoons, and thus the remaining 2% win easily...=P)
Meanwhile...
Old Man: And we're hiking in the middle of nowhere because I am an old man and that's just what us Old men do!
Daniel: *Is a short midget crybaby* And you had to drag us along....
Old Man: Exactly! We be annoying to you kdis, jsut like you're annoying to us!!!
Henry: *is a stupid geek that likes comics* WOW! The Green Lantern just ate a Green Apple!!!
Steven: *is a fat person, yeah, fat* Can I have a green apple?
Ashley: *Is a person who's afraid of snakes and is ridculously annoying* Eww, I hate everything green, like, duh!
Daniel: man, where'd you learn all that language anyway?
Ashley: From a noble shopper in Russia. He had beautiful red hair and seemed to wear a disco suit. He taught me all about shopping and like totally shown me the true meaning of like, life.
Henry: AHH! Mr. Old Man! My glasses are acting like magnifying glasses and burning my face!!!!
Old Man: Ugh....
Back to the Beyblade stadium....
Daichi: HA! I AM WINNING!
Takao: Your Beyblade looks like a disguised Master Dragoon for some reason...OMIGOSH! WHAT THE HECK?!
Daichi: Wow, there's a lgiht coming out! Last time it did that, it showed me a slideshow of my Grandma's Adventures in India! I saw a Snake eat her! ^___^
Rei: Did you know that there's a wallpaper of us in the audience gasping?
Max: WHAT?! Hey! They can't take a picture of us gasping and stick it in the public! I WANNA SUE!!!
Kai: Let me guess, I was gasping too.
Rei: How'd you know?
Kai: I DON'T gasp. Those producers made me, and now they're showing it to the public!
Suddenly, a CELLPHONE rings!!!
Kai: Hello? Oh hi Yuriy.
Yuriy; Hey kai! There's this like totally super fab sale at the Russian Mall over here!
Kai: Your point?
Yuriy: Just calling that I have like, your credit card here! Thanks for dropping it on the like, dirty ground for me to use it! We're like, totally best girlfriends forever! Ciao! *hangs up*
Kai: Oh joy.
Daichi: Y'know, MY BEYBLADE STILL HAS A LIGHT COMING OUT OF IT!!!!
*rumble, earthquake!!!*
Meanwhile,
Old man: Oh no! We stupidly walked into this random cave with LEET language engraved on the wall and now it is crumbling down on us! Run, my stupids, RUN!!!
PHSEW!!!!
Ancient Tops: You will pay for replacing us with your modern beybl-SMASH!!!
Henry: Stupid tops, I'm trying to read comics!!!
Thus the broken ancient tops become...MODERN BEYBLADES!! Gaspies!!!
*energy going everywhere*
Ashley: Oh my god! I broke a nail!
Daniel: MOMMY! WAHHH!!
Steven: I am willing to eat one of you to lessen the horror and pain!
Henry: I can't see! I dropped my glasses!!!
BAM!!!
Old Man: What the?! Are you ok? hey, you're not Ashley, Ashley was more of a stupid sl*t than yo-
Ashley: Mwahahaha...DID YOU CALL ME A SL*T?!
Henry: Can it, girl. it's time to bring forth the banished Dark bit-beasts!!!!
Steven: Despite being turned evil, I am still willing to eat one of you to lessen the pain!
Meanwhile...
Takao: *makes Dragoon slightly tap Strata Dragoon*
*Strata Dragoon flies out of the ring!*
Daichi: OH NO! I challenge thee again!!
Takao: No way! I had enough of this cowness! *walks off*
Daichi: No, I must! YOU STUPID JAZZY DUDE! *uses awesome karate skills and flips the DJ back onto the ground*
DJ Jazzy: MY SPLEEN!!! O.o
50 gabzillion security guards: HIYAH!!! *suddenly get kciked off by awesome karate skills*
-------------------
"Welcome to the Japanese Festival, it is just like normal Japan, except more expensive, YAY!!!!"
Takao: Wow, so much food...Mmmmm...Dead Squid Eye, Scorpion Sticks! (No offence to Japanese cuisines) OOH! AND SUSHI! (just to make those cuisines happy...)
Rei: Hob me! Dere's ah buddle sbuck bin mah toat!
Max; Rei! I cannot understand you because you have a bubble on a stick-like food in your mouth!
Rei: Hob me! Id sbuck!
Max: I will gladly rob you.
Kenny; For some reason we seemed to have skipped the Ms. Kincade's mother scene...
Ms. K's mom: Oh! I forgot about that! Why, you boys look marvelous! Aww, the one with the cap is so plump! That's so kute! And you sir, did you dye your hair?!
Max: ...I'm American...
Ms. K's mom: AN AMERICAN?! WERE YOU ASSOCIATED WITH THE PEOPLE THAT DROPPED THAT ATOM BOMB HERE?!?! Get out of our country!!! ROAR!!
Max: MEEP! O.O...but I wasn't born the-
Ms. K's mom: I will never accept an excuse like you weren't born yet!!! >=( And you sure, what's with the waiter outfit?
Rei: Ime ahh Shineze blath bat.
Ms. K's mom: Right, I think I'll talk to no eyes, I'm sure he isn't retarded....oh wait...
Kenny: HEY!!
Ms. Kincade: And that's my mom, and since I'm overly nervous with Takao, i will gladly pay for everything he wants to buy in this whole coutnry, everybody is happy! Who wants monopoly money? EH?!
Daichi: HAHA! I NOW CAN RE-CHALLENGE THE PLUMP ONE!
Takao: No, I'm eating corn!!!
Meanwhile...
Max: So WHY are we moving around and clapping our hands?
Rei: I think it's a Japanese dance. (the sucker thing in his mouth is gone now, =P)
Max: Bah, I can never understand Japanese culture, might as well drop a bomb on i-
Ms. K's mom: *glares at Max*
Max: ...not saying that I would drop a bomb on Japan! I mean, who would?! Japan is the BEST place in the world! I wish I could clap my hands ALL day!
Rei: Then you would be in a nut house.
Max: Huzzah.
-------------
Takao: Thanks for throwing away my corn. beware, there's some flies on it.
Daichi: o.o...*faints*
Takao: Hey, you were supposed to faint in the Graveyard when you saw me! HEY!!
Kenny: Damn! I lost that bet with Max, if corn or Takao was scarier, grrr...well, we'll just tell him he fainted when he saw you Takao, that way I can have my....
-------------------
Badadadada...
Daichi: *eating breakfast very fast but he's jsut eating a bowl of plain rice in 2.5 seconds...* MORE!
Takao: MORE!!
Max: Is plain rice really supposed to fill us up?!
Rei: if it works for the Anime Budget, then yes.
Max; Don't speak of Politics with me! I saw you reading that book! it read, "Sexual Identities" "Queer Politics" YOU WANNA BE AN EVIL POLITICAN, DON'T YA?!?!
Rei: ...you saw me reading that boo- I mean, it was Kai's. yeah, Kai's very queer, that's why he's quiet all the time and most of his friends are boys.
Max: -_-
Rei: And they're IMAGINARY friends, haha! Imaginary Political Queer Friends, yeah!
Max: You're scaring me.
-------------------
Max; YAY! THE SEA! Where we can catch lots of disease without knowing it!
Takao: And that chance of a GIANT Tsunami-
Max: Hey! Don't diss those people who died on that tsunami! That's JUST HARSH!
Takao: ...but I was talking about the chance, I mean I wasn't talking abou-
Max: YOU"RE THE CRUELLEST PERSON I KNOW! I hope you enjoy it in hell!
Takao: There aren't tsunami's in hell, Max.
Max: Shut up!
Rei: Wow, such a nice day.
Kenny; You know, Rei, that fat lady is right when she says you're always in that waiter suit. GET IN BEACH CLOTHES!
Rei: Don't be hypocritical Kenny !You're not in beach clothes, you're in Sumo Wrestling clothes! ha! I bet I could ebat you in Sumo Wrestling!
Kenny; umm, I didn't-*gets dived on by Rei*
Takao: *on the boat* Why are we on a boat? We can swim!
Hiromi: We need more props, that's all, and Daichi's supposed to not know how to swim...
Daichi: Ahh, shut up.
Takao: I shall go swimming with my fellow minion sharks, MWAHAHA- I mean, I'm going in for a dip, ^^;;; *jumps in, and suddenly looks like a BOOT-TEE-FUL bishie underwater!*
Shark: Oh WOW!!!
Anyway....
Hiromi: So Daichi, how come you're bothering us so much to battle Takao voer spinning tops and all?
Daichi: Well, it happened two years ago...
--------------------
FLASHBACK!!
Ozuma: *whistling* I wonder what happens if I loosen these ropes on this bundle of logs.
CRUMBLE!!!
Two workers: AH!
Daichi's dad: OH NO! NOW I MUST SAVE THEE WITH MY OWN LIFE! *jumps in*
CRASH!!
Daichi: DADDY!!!!
Ozuma: ...oops. *looks around and runs off*
Daichi: Daddy! How could you torture your son by saving two dorks?!?!
Daichi's dad: Daichi, please, take this beyblade. Win for me or I shall haunt you. *dies*
Daichi: NOOOO!!! DAADDDY!!!!!
---------------
End flashback.
Hiromi: So you're beyblading for your father, that's sad.
Daichi: Yeah...
Takao: Alright! I will beyblade you because I'm stupid! *shoots beyblade*
Daichi: GOOOO SHOOOOOOT!!!!! *shoots beyblade*
Ms. Kincade: hey, what's going on over there?
Kenny; They're beyblading!
Rei: Just when I was explaining Imaginary Politic-
Max: Shut up Rei, just shut up.
-------------------------
Meanwhile...
Henry: I smell stench! It's the golden dragon!!!! Let's go!
Steven: I forgot my pants!!! ;_;
Daniel: And I thought I was the crybaby...
Ashley: How can you forget your pants? it's a whole tacky outfit!!!
Steven: I don't know.
Henry: Well we're going anyway! *5 seconds later they appear on a cliff* LOOK! *leaps off onto boat*
Daniel: He rushes too much...>>
Daichi: HEY! Who are YOU?!
Daniel: Bring out that stupid dragon, kid! *whacks beyblade* Come out, you damn dragon! And because everybdoy else are pest, GOODBYE!!! *throws Takao and Hiromi off boat*
Hiromi: There are sharks here...o.o
Strata Dragoon: ROAR!! LOOKIT ME! I'M ALL GOLD AND BLINDING!!!!
Takao: Holy crap!
Rei: See! My imaginary political queer friend says that saying crap on movies is agaisnt the law! Officer, arrest him!!
Max: My goggles are acting like magnifying glasses and burning my hair.....AHHHH!!!!
Strata Dragoon: but I am not born yet! I must return to my spinning shell! *returns to beyblade*
Daniel: Now we must go back to Demon Rock Island! *makes boat float* Hurry up guys, I don't got all day!
Steven: I'm not jumping off the cliff, I FORGOT MY PANTS!
Daniel: You stupid whiner, oh look, Ashley already jumped. Well..there's always...*pushes Steven off cliff, who falls into swampy area face down* oops.
Henry: If you killed him you are dead, someone must control Dark Draciel!
Max; Oh, oh, can I?
Henry: No, your hair is on fire.
Max; Damn!!! AHHH! HAIR ON FIRE!!!
Henry: oh well, we can always let this shellfish control Dark Draciel, let's go!!!
Daniel: I killed Steven, yay!
*And thus the freaks, missing one freak, kidnaps Daichi and goes away*
Takao: No, Daichi! I NEEEEEEEED YOU!!!!
Hiromi: O.o...
---------------------
Takao: What do we do?
Kenny: According to my readings, the power of their beybaldes exactly match the readings of the multiple earthquakes we never bothered to mention.
Max: We have to go to Demon Rock Island!
Everybody else: Why?
Max: Because...I AM AMERICAN!
Everybody else: GASP! We must go to Demon Rock Island!!
And thus they go to Demon Rock Island.
Takao: Daichi! I NEED YOU!
Daichi: MWAHAHAHA! I am evil now, so being the typical evil bad guy, I msut attack you Takao, using effort to give you a heart attack even though that never happens!!!
Takao: Dragoon! Come out and fight!
Dragoon: oh, first I have to battle 95 billion old Dragoons to beat the championshops, and NOW you want me to fight a GOLDEN dragon?! Y'know what? I'd rather be trapped in stone.
Dark Draciel: Why not? Aww, my shellfish is cute! =3
And in 0.2 microseconds, Dragoon is trapped in stone.
*the place is starting to crumble down*
Max: TAKAO! MOVE IT!!!
*And Max bravely saves Takao's life, he really did on the movie, AND NOBODY BOTHERED TO NOTICE*
Max: Stupid people, they never notice blondes doing heroic things. Blondes deserve more!
Rei: Takao's trapped behind a slab of rock!!! And my lawyer says I shouldn't care!
Max; BUT I JUST SAVED HIS LIFE! HOW DID HE GET TRAPPED BEHIND A WALL OF ROCK?!?!?!
Rei: Because Takao likes Dragoon better than you?
Max: I hate that as*hole.
----------------------
Takao: Dragoon, our bond can break us free....TO CRAP WITH IT! let's jsut make this palce explode!
Kaboom.
---------------------
Meanwhile..
Kai: The city is being destroyed. I finally get a line since the beginning of this whole story...
Ashley: HAHAHA!! You cannot get through me and Mr. Shellfish!!!
Kai: You're destroying the city?! I wouldn't care if you did, BUT YOU'RE USING FIRE! AND FIRE IS ME! That's it, you shall pay!
Oh god, did I just go completely OOC?!
Ashley: ...yes..
Kai: Screw this movie. Go shoot!
Dranzer: AWWWK!!!!
Ashley: So you control the BBQed Chicken, eh? Well guess what? Mine's the overcooked version.
Kai: 'Tis a shame, huh?
Ashley: Yeah...
Kai: Anyway...chicken fight!!!
And the Dranzers go at it!!!!
Henry: Now it is our cue to come it and make it unfair. Oh how I love cheating! ^___^
Daniel: Yeah...
Henry: Now Kai, we will not seal your bit-ebast just like we did Dragoon!!
Kai: You finally sealed Dragoon? My god, that dumb dragon just refused to be taken from Takao; he's always with him! I thank you! THANK YOU!
Takao: We're coming to help Kai!
Henry: What? You broke the seal?!?!
Kai: Damn it!
Rei: You broke another LAW!!!!
Max: I want to pet Dark Draciel!!!!
Takao: i broke the seal because that wall of rockw as really a cheesegrater! A CHEESEGRATER!!!
Henry: The cheesegrater is known as the mroe strongest barrier of all! No matter, we outnumber you!
Takao: You do?
Ashley: Don't you recognize the shellfish?! It controls Dark Draciel!
Max: WHAT?! A freakin sea creature took that job from me when I owned the original Draciel?! ARGH! BS!
Kai: Hey, Max, Rei! Let's do a stupid frontal attack strong enough to knock us out.
Rei: Ok!
Max: Yay! We're going to get knocked out!
BASSSH!!!
But, unfortunately, Ashley and Daniel also get knocked out!
Henry; No, it is only me and the Shellfish! Oh, and Daichi, sorry I didn't know you existed there.
Daichi: Grrr... MWAHAHAHA! Attack, Strata Dragoon!!
Takao: But Daichi, I AM YOUR FATHER!
Daichi: What?! My father died!
Takao: I have taken the body of Takao your friend, to haunt you for not winning!
Daichi: I wasn't the one that jumped under those logs!
Takao: Listen to me...Daichi....overcome the evilness so you can kick Takao's butt...look, I'm doing it for hiM! Woo! HEHEHEHE!!
Hiromi: O.o
Takao: I must go now, Daichi, remember my words...
Daichi: Daddy! You stupid Takao! You will apy for getting rid of him!!!
Takao: oh yeah? Well my Beyblade is RED now! SO I AM UNSTOPPABLE! BECAUSE THE COLOUR RED IS COOL!!! AND MY BEYBLADE IS RED!!
Daichi: oh no! The colour red is my weakness!!! *turns good again* yay! I will now join Takao for utterly no reason whatsoever!!
Takao: Yay!!!
Henry; No matter, I and the shellfish can take you down!
------------
Meanwhile.
Rei: Wow, so this is the State of Unconsciousness.
Max: Yep, it's the lost state of America, nifty, eh?
Kai: Where Yuriy can't complain to me about outrageous prices at the mall.
Redneck: Howdy!
Rei, Max, Kai: AHHHHH!!! REDNECKS! RUNNN! RUNNN!!!!
--------------------
Rei: *wakes up* What a horrible nightmare! Is Takao dead yet?
Kenny; Nope.
Kai: Let me guess, he won in a stupid way because bad guy's weaknesses are always stupid things.
Kenny: Yep.
Max: This sounds like a job for...TRENCHCOAT-
Kai: THE PROBLEM IS OVER, WE WON.
Daniel: WAHH!! I WAS SO SCARED!!
Ashley: Me too! And my nail broke again! Ack! So many wrinkles udner my eyes! Where's that redhead? I need some advice?!?! OHMIGOSH! MY CELLPHONE BROKE!!!
Henry: Where's Steven?! Wahhh! He was my best friend! *sees shellfish* Aww, do you want to be my friend? You do! Yay! We could read comics and solve the digits of PI together! Best friends!
And thus, they returned to Demon Rock island, destroyed the place because they hated having adventures. Went on the boat and saw Daichi.
Ms. K's Mom: Well, he said he wanted to beyblade someone, but I still wasn't satisfied and he said he'll also kill an American...so I drove him out here!
Max: Y'know, I'm actually only Half-American, I'm also Half-Japanese!
Ms. K's mom: YOU'RE A SINNER BREED?! AN INTERBREED?!?! THAT IS EVEN WORSE! WHERE'S MY PLANK! I MUST PLANK THIS BLONDE BOY TO DEATH!!!
Rei: Sigh...
Kai: Why so glum?
Rei: My imaginary friend left for Paris...he said I was too cat-like. T_T
Kai: I know it's hard gettign dumped, Rei...*puts hand on shoulder....the puts it around Rei's neck*
Rei: O.O
Max: Trenchcoat Max says maybe Kai did read those political books.
Ms. K's mom: COME HERE YOU BRAT! *holds butcher knife*
Max: And Trenchcoat Max must leave! if he doesn't come back he's solving his own murder case!
Daichi: Lookit me! I'm drowning, Rei got a new boyfriend named Kai, Max is going to get murdered, and Takao is stupid. That's the end of this movie, no offense to anybody! Thsi was jsut for the sake of humou- ACCCKKK!! *gets stuffed into water*
Kiki: THAT'S FOR RIPPING ME OFF! As Spot says, BIBI!
-spot
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Date: 2005-04-09 05:19 pm (UTC)Poor Maxie, Gramma Kincade has some problems. =P
Yay for Kai's book on Queer Politics!! xDD