OKAY! I HAVE FINALLY...
Jul. 1st, 2007 06:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spottoFinished chapter 11 of "Happy Farm Friends". The last scene may be a tad disturbing to those who are too childish and immature and believe in cooties and shit. Rawr.
Also, I've found a way to write about less characters without killing them all off.
That is all. Please return to your miserable lives now. :D
Also, I've found a way to write about less characters without killing them all off.
Chapter 11: Interspecies…what!?
There was complete peace in the whole world for a few minutes as the animals all stared in absolute silence at a young squirrel sitting in a tree. It was a very strange silence, for why they all were currently listening to such an animal was the most confusing thing of all. Finally, after nearly three minutes, the silence died off as the animals all ignored the squirrel and continued their quarrel.
”So, who is this green being that has interrupted our fight?” Evangeline asked before she defended herself from petty attacks caused by the while crane.
The kappa spoke, “I am the creature of Kappa Lake. It seems there is a conflict going on here, de-gozaru.”
”Yes, there is. YOU KILLED ALL MY FRIENDS, KAPPA!” Yuuna accused, point her nonexistent finger (it was really her paw) accusingly at the accused kappa in a very accusing manner.
The creature replied, “I am not a kappa, nin nin!”
”Then what are you?”
”Simply call me the green creature, or Kaede. That’s my name, it sounds better, de-gozaru.”
Yuuna growled, “But you ARE a kappa!”
”Maybe I appear so, but mentally I am not a kappa, de-gozaru…”
”Stop denying you’re a—“
”Okay, THAT’S IT!” The Dark Evangel screamed, “You’re all pretty hopeless! I’ll give you a chance to get the animals back if you can complete this very dangerous and deadly challenge. All who don’t make it out alive…I get to suck their blood, any questions?”
The squirrel raised her paw.
”Yes, you the rodent who decided to randomly interrupt us.”
”Will it involve any violence of any kind?”
The dark rabbit of doom sweatdropped, “What kind of question is that? I am THE Dark Evangel, violence is a form of entertainment and power and so of course there must be some form of violence!”
”Well, I will not allow it. At least not in front of my tree, where I run a nut-selling business and nikuman specials…”
”Did you say NIKUMAN-aruyo!?!?!” Ku Fei suddenly perked up with interest.
The squirrel nodded, “I see I have a customer. I believe that my nuts and nikuman will be able to make all who are depressed and have miserable lives to cheer up with my delicious food. It is my dream.”
”You call this a business…what the heck do we pay?”
”I take in several kinds of currency, but my preferred one is acorns.”
Ku Fei smiled, “Oh! Do you take in canaries? I have one juicy canary here. In fact, I’m sure a delicious canary nikuman would do me good, aru!”
”Hey! Stop offering me to people!” Kazumi yelled.
”Unfortunately no,” the squirrel started.
”What’s your name, oh great saint of nikuman, aruka?” Ku Fei asked.
”Satsuki is my name, and…”
”Hello!? This stupid rabbit has OJOU-SAMA and some other animals, but she has OJOU-SAMA! I will do anything for her to be returned!” Setsuna interrupted, a little impatient with everybody suddenly out of the important issue at the moment.
The Dark Evangel smiled, “Well, here is my challenge. I will personally choose an animal from your party to do a certain task, and then choose another to do another certain task, and so on and so forth. After enough tasks are finished, I will return them. But if not many tasks are, you’d probably be dead then.”
”Master, what reason is it that you are doing that instead of just finishing them off?” The giraffe asked.
”Good question, but all this capturing animals to suck blood has made me forgot to do other things I needed to do today, so getting my victims to do it is a genius idea…”
”You lazy bit—“
”Hey, living for a long time does that…now, do you agree or should I slay that cute little koala we have?”
”Alright! We agree!” Setsuna said, “Now hurry up and get this over with. I want ojou-sama back!”
”And I want Chizunee and Natsumi back!” Kotaro yelled.
The Dark Evangel sighed, “Alright, alright…don’t get fussy about it. The first task is…”
Everybody waited in anticipation for the dangerous and perilous quest an animal must take on to save the animals being held hostage. They sweated and knew that it would not be an easy goal to achieve…
”…getting me a carrot.”
Everybody fell down anime style.
”A CARROT!?” Kazumi exclaimed, “That’s not very fun--mmph!” Her beak was clapped shut by Setsuna.
”We accept the task, Dark Evangel, so who is to find a carrot for you?”
The rabbit looked around at her candidates, “The kappa.”
Everyone looked at Kaede and waited, but she said nothing. Minutes passed.
“Hello!? Kappa!”
”Don’t stare at me, de-gozaru, I am not a kappa.”
”For the love of…the green thing that keeps saying that dumb word after every sentence!” The rabbit said.
Kaede picked out a carrot with her massive arm and gave it to the Dark Evangel, “There you go, de-gozaru.”
”Thanks. Okay, the next task will ACTUALLY be dangerous!” The rabbit started, “One of you has to venture into a large cave, where a sleeping leopard naps. There she guards something important to me, it is shiny. Retrieve it for me and this task will be over and done with.”
Setsuna waited. She hoped that the rabbit would choose her or Ku Fei or the wolf or even the kappa. Everybody else in their party weren’t that strong to her.
”And I choose…the beaver to do it.”
”I AM NOT A #*%@ING BEAVER!”
”If I can’t call you a beaver then I am very much killing one the hostages.”
Suddenly a wolf and a crane turned to glare at Yuuna, who looked at them and got the message.
”Fine,” she accepted with a stubborn growl.
Setsuna raised her wing, “Is she not allowed an accomplice of some sort? I don’t think she has much chance with a gigantic leopard.”
”I should go!” Kazumi yelled, “I fought off a leopard before!”
”…I did that, aru…” Ku Fei said.
The Dark Evangel smirked, “Fine, she is allowed an accomplice, whom I’ll choose.”
”Oh, c’mon!” Kotaro argued, “you’re not being very fair!”
”Hey, I’m evil. I don’t do fair,” the rabbit replied, “anyway, I guess I’ll choose that tiny chick there as the beaver’s accomplice.”
”What!? Not Ako, she’s far too young!”
”Yeah, she’s like only a year old!” Kazumi agreed.
Setsuna replied, “No, she’s two weeks old. Get your facts straight.”
”In human years, she’s…”
”ALRIGHT! Will we all stop changing the topic? I have chosen, so the beaver and the tiny bird thing will go find me the shiny thing that the great sleeping leopard is guarding,” the Dark Evangel explained.
Yuuna commented sarcastically, “Gee, you’re very detailed with your instructions. Why do I have to do this? I don’t care about a koala or cow or hamster or penguin!”
Suddenly she was picked up by a crane, “You do this and you protect Ako as well, or we will…feed you to the kappa!”
”I’m not a…”
”NO! NOT THE EVIL KAPPA THAT ATE MY FRIENDS!” Yuuna cowered, “anything but…”
The beaver…ahem, the OTTER surrendered to the threatening crane, who was still angry at the abduction of her beloved Ojou-sama. Ako, who had fallen asleep next to Kazumi was woken up and suddenly started panicking when she heard what she was going to do. Setsuna was quite furious at how her own daughter, not that she really considers Ako her daughter, must risk her life by a very reluctant otter to go pass a dangerous leopard to fetch something shiny. It seemed quite…idiotic.
And so, the perilous quest began.
-
”Yuuna-san…”
”What is it, Ako?” Yuuna said as they trekked through the deep dark forest.
Ako looked up at the brown mammal with large watery eyes. Her mouth was shaped accordingly like a wavy line and she whimpered before she opened her mouth to ask something.
”What’s a (bleep) otter?”
Yuuna fell over.
”An otter is um, me. I’m an otter! We like to swim around water and eat clams and play with balls!”
”Then what’s the (bleep) for?”
”…you don’t need to know that, Ako-chan! Heheh. Oh look, we’re at the entrance of the cave already, how nice.”
Ako clung to the otter, even though she hadn’t known the creature for more than a day. She was deathly afraid of bears and leopards, ever since Kazumi told her about them. Then they even actually bumped into a bear once, and luckily escaped. This time her parents, her sister Kazumi or her brave auntie Ku Fei couldn’t protect them now. She decided to trust the strange otter that had come into her life just recently. She stuffed her small head into the leg of Yuuna.
”Ahaha…didn’t know you were that scared. It’s okay. You can stay out here and I’ll run for my sorry life to get that shiny thing…”
”But Yuuna-san, isn’t your leg broken?”
”Yes…that’s quite a shame, eh? Hmm…how about I distract the leopard while you get it? Then you can run out really fast!”
”But…what about you?”
”Hopefully that stupid leopard doesn’t wake up.”
They entered the cave together, and an epic wind picked up, as if nature was wishing luck to the two courageous and possibly very stupid animals that entered the cave of death. Two wolves of the demon of the night were in the inside of bushes just outside the cave, watching as the two ‘victims’ as they call it, die so they could retrieve their corpses back to their leader of the night, the rabbit of hell.
Within the cave, it was quite dark, darker than outside even. Ako walked behind the larger animal, the otter, and decided to grab onto her tail to keep herself warm and to make herself feel a little safer. Yuuna continued walking and reached towards the back of the cave, where an actual leopard slept. The leopard was actually Ayaka, who had decided to sleep for seven chapters. The two possible animals of prey carefully walked around the spotted feline. Yuuna was focused on the items behind her.
”Be wery, wery quiet Ako, we’re huntin’ shiny things…”
Ako spotted a shine at the corner of the cave, furthest to them. She quietly whispered out an excited, ‘there!’ and Yuuna walked ever so closer to it. They heard a soft growl come from Ayaka, but she was still deep in sleep, as if in a dream. In fact, she was even talking within her dream.
”That…boy…called Negi. He’s so…charming, so…cute, such a fine…gentleman. I’ve never…found a human so…attracting before and not…want to eat them…”
Yuuna carefully picked up the shiny object and walked towards Ako. They kept quiet and were about to creep out of the cave when Ayaka suddenly turned in her sleep and slammed a paw onto Yuuna’s back, almost crushing her under the paw and causing her to drop the shiny item that flung into the air and onto the ground further down the cave.
”Son of a—“
”Oh Negi…I love you Negi…why is it that you’re a human boy but not a handsome young leopard?” Ayaka muttered in her sleep and suddenly started to hug Yuuna, almost squeezing her to death.
”Ack…”
Ako clapped her wings onto her beak as she shouted, “Yuuna-san!”
Yuuna managed to put her paw to her mouth, indicating that Ako must be silent. She pointed at the shiny thing and in some sort of odd animal sign language, directed Ako out the cave with the shiny thing, but Ako didn’t want to leave her here.
Suddenly, Ayaka started to lick Yuuna in the face, whose expression became one of shock and disgust. The leopard chanted the name ‘Negi’ as she did so, stroking the young otter with her large tongue. As Yuuna was getting a ‘bath’ from the large leopard, she started to panic a bit and quickly uttered Ako to run the hell out of this cave away from this very very strange wildcat.
Then the sleeping cat started to bite, lightly, or else she’d be dead, on Yuuna’s neck, in which Yuuna was very much extremely disturbed by now. However the strong grasp of the leopard prevented her from escaping. She raised a paw towards Ako and in a small decreasing of decibels cry deliberately pushed the chick away from the odd leopard…
”Why Negi, you’re awfully hairy today…wait a minute, little boys aren’t…”
Ako gasped as the leopard awoke with the greatest anger one would ever have seen. Her eyes were a great shining green, as if an emerald but it’d be wrong to describe it such as an emerald because she was a ferocious leopard, not a pretty young 14 year old lady would one describe in a mary-sue fanfic. She gaped open her large jaws and in a loud devastating voice…
”WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?”
Yuuna was in her death-grip.
-
I apologize for the last scene, it just popped into my head and I was like, “Well, that sounds funny” but whether or not it fits the sense of humor in this story, it definitely doesn’t. However I don’t care, since it works and Ayaka is perverted shotacon for Negi anyway. Yay for cliffhangers!
There was complete peace in the whole world for a few minutes as the animals all stared in absolute silence at a young squirrel sitting in a tree. It was a very strange silence, for why they all were currently listening to such an animal was the most confusing thing of all. Finally, after nearly three minutes, the silence died off as the animals all ignored the squirrel and continued their quarrel.
”So, who is this green being that has interrupted our fight?” Evangeline asked before she defended herself from petty attacks caused by the while crane.
The kappa spoke, “I am the creature of Kappa Lake. It seems there is a conflict going on here, de-gozaru.”
”Yes, there is. YOU KILLED ALL MY FRIENDS, KAPPA!” Yuuna accused, point her nonexistent finger (it was really her paw) accusingly at the accused kappa in a very accusing manner.
The creature replied, “I am not a kappa, nin nin!”
”Then what are you?”
”Simply call me the green creature, or Kaede. That’s my name, it sounds better, de-gozaru.”
Yuuna growled, “But you ARE a kappa!”
”Maybe I appear so, but mentally I am not a kappa, de-gozaru…”
”Stop denying you’re a—“
”Okay, THAT’S IT!” The Dark Evangel screamed, “You’re all pretty hopeless! I’ll give you a chance to get the animals back if you can complete this very dangerous and deadly challenge. All who don’t make it out alive…I get to suck their blood, any questions?”
The squirrel raised her paw.
”Yes, you the rodent who decided to randomly interrupt us.”
”Will it involve any violence of any kind?”
The dark rabbit of doom sweatdropped, “What kind of question is that? I am THE Dark Evangel, violence is a form of entertainment and power and so of course there must be some form of violence!”
”Well, I will not allow it. At least not in front of my tree, where I run a nut-selling business and nikuman specials…”
”Did you say NIKUMAN-aruyo!?!?!” Ku Fei suddenly perked up with interest.
The squirrel nodded, “I see I have a customer. I believe that my nuts and nikuman will be able to make all who are depressed and have miserable lives to cheer up with my delicious food. It is my dream.”
”You call this a business…what the heck do we pay?”
”I take in several kinds of currency, but my preferred one is acorns.”
Ku Fei smiled, “Oh! Do you take in canaries? I have one juicy canary here. In fact, I’m sure a delicious canary nikuman would do me good, aru!”
”Hey! Stop offering me to people!” Kazumi yelled.
”Unfortunately no,” the squirrel started.
”What’s your name, oh great saint of nikuman, aruka?” Ku Fei asked.
”Satsuki is my name, and…”
”Hello!? This stupid rabbit has OJOU-SAMA and some other animals, but she has OJOU-SAMA! I will do anything for her to be returned!” Setsuna interrupted, a little impatient with everybody suddenly out of the important issue at the moment.
The Dark Evangel smiled, “Well, here is my challenge. I will personally choose an animal from your party to do a certain task, and then choose another to do another certain task, and so on and so forth. After enough tasks are finished, I will return them. But if not many tasks are, you’d probably be dead then.”
”Master, what reason is it that you are doing that instead of just finishing them off?” The giraffe asked.
”Good question, but all this capturing animals to suck blood has made me forgot to do other things I needed to do today, so getting my victims to do it is a genius idea…”
”You lazy bit—“
”Hey, living for a long time does that…now, do you agree or should I slay that cute little koala we have?”
”Alright! We agree!” Setsuna said, “Now hurry up and get this over with. I want ojou-sama back!”
”And I want Chizunee and Natsumi back!” Kotaro yelled.
The Dark Evangel sighed, “Alright, alright…don’t get fussy about it. The first task is…”
Everybody waited in anticipation for the dangerous and perilous quest an animal must take on to save the animals being held hostage. They sweated and knew that it would not be an easy goal to achieve…
”…getting me a carrot.”
Everybody fell down anime style.
”A CARROT!?” Kazumi exclaimed, “That’s not very fun--mmph!” Her beak was clapped shut by Setsuna.
”We accept the task, Dark Evangel, so who is to find a carrot for you?”
The rabbit looked around at her candidates, “The kappa.”
Everyone looked at Kaede and waited, but she said nothing. Minutes passed.
“Hello!? Kappa!”
”Don’t stare at me, de-gozaru, I am not a kappa.”
”For the love of…the green thing that keeps saying that dumb word after every sentence!” The rabbit said.
Kaede picked out a carrot with her massive arm and gave it to the Dark Evangel, “There you go, de-gozaru.”
”Thanks. Okay, the next task will ACTUALLY be dangerous!” The rabbit started, “One of you has to venture into a large cave, where a sleeping leopard naps. There she guards something important to me, it is shiny. Retrieve it for me and this task will be over and done with.”
Setsuna waited. She hoped that the rabbit would choose her or Ku Fei or the wolf or even the kappa. Everybody else in their party weren’t that strong to her.
”And I choose…the beaver to do it.”
”I AM NOT A #*%@ING BEAVER!”
”If I can’t call you a beaver then I am very much killing one the hostages.”
Suddenly a wolf and a crane turned to glare at Yuuna, who looked at them and got the message.
”Fine,” she accepted with a stubborn growl.
Setsuna raised her wing, “Is she not allowed an accomplice of some sort? I don’t think she has much chance with a gigantic leopard.”
”I should go!” Kazumi yelled, “I fought off a leopard before!”
”…I did that, aru…” Ku Fei said.
The Dark Evangel smirked, “Fine, she is allowed an accomplice, whom I’ll choose.”
”Oh, c’mon!” Kotaro argued, “you’re not being very fair!”
”Hey, I’m evil. I don’t do fair,” the rabbit replied, “anyway, I guess I’ll choose that tiny chick there as the beaver’s accomplice.”
”What!? Not Ako, she’s far too young!”
”Yeah, she’s like only a year old!” Kazumi agreed.
Setsuna replied, “No, she’s two weeks old. Get your facts straight.”
”In human years, she’s…”
”ALRIGHT! Will we all stop changing the topic? I have chosen, so the beaver and the tiny bird thing will go find me the shiny thing that the great sleeping leopard is guarding,” the Dark Evangel explained.
Yuuna commented sarcastically, “Gee, you’re very detailed with your instructions. Why do I have to do this? I don’t care about a koala or cow or hamster or penguin!”
Suddenly she was picked up by a crane, “You do this and you protect Ako as well, or we will…feed you to the kappa!”
”I’m not a…”
”NO! NOT THE EVIL KAPPA THAT ATE MY FRIENDS!” Yuuna cowered, “anything but…”
The beaver…ahem, the OTTER surrendered to the threatening crane, who was still angry at the abduction of her beloved Ojou-sama. Ako, who had fallen asleep next to Kazumi was woken up and suddenly started panicking when she heard what she was going to do. Setsuna was quite furious at how her own daughter, not that she really considers Ako her daughter, must risk her life by a very reluctant otter to go pass a dangerous leopard to fetch something shiny. It seemed quite…idiotic.
And so, the perilous quest began.
-
”Yuuna-san…”
”What is it, Ako?” Yuuna said as they trekked through the deep dark forest.
Ako looked up at the brown mammal with large watery eyes. Her mouth was shaped accordingly like a wavy line and she whimpered before she opened her mouth to ask something.
”What’s a (bleep) otter?”
Yuuna fell over.
”An otter is um, me. I’m an otter! We like to swim around water and eat clams and play with balls!”
”Then what’s the (bleep) for?”
”…you don’t need to know that, Ako-chan! Heheh. Oh look, we’re at the entrance of the cave already, how nice.”
Ako clung to the otter, even though she hadn’t known the creature for more than a day. She was deathly afraid of bears and leopards, ever since Kazumi told her about them. Then they even actually bumped into a bear once, and luckily escaped. This time her parents, her sister Kazumi or her brave auntie Ku Fei couldn’t protect them now. She decided to trust the strange otter that had come into her life just recently. She stuffed her small head into the leg of Yuuna.
”Ahaha…didn’t know you were that scared. It’s okay. You can stay out here and I’ll run for my sorry life to get that shiny thing…”
”But Yuuna-san, isn’t your leg broken?”
”Yes…that’s quite a shame, eh? Hmm…how about I distract the leopard while you get it? Then you can run out really fast!”
”But…what about you?”
”Hopefully that stupid leopard doesn’t wake up.”
They entered the cave together, and an epic wind picked up, as if nature was wishing luck to the two courageous and possibly very stupid animals that entered the cave of death. Two wolves of the demon of the night were in the inside of bushes just outside the cave, watching as the two ‘victims’ as they call it, die so they could retrieve their corpses back to their leader of the night, the rabbit of hell.
Within the cave, it was quite dark, darker than outside even. Ako walked behind the larger animal, the otter, and decided to grab onto her tail to keep herself warm and to make herself feel a little safer. Yuuna continued walking and reached towards the back of the cave, where an actual leopard slept. The leopard was actually Ayaka, who had decided to sleep for seven chapters. The two possible animals of prey carefully walked around the spotted feline. Yuuna was focused on the items behind her.
”Be wery, wery quiet Ako, we’re huntin’ shiny things…”
Ako spotted a shine at the corner of the cave, furthest to them. She quietly whispered out an excited, ‘there!’ and Yuuna walked ever so closer to it. They heard a soft growl come from Ayaka, but she was still deep in sleep, as if in a dream. In fact, she was even talking within her dream.
”That…boy…called Negi. He’s so…charming, so…cute, such a fine…gentleman. I’ve never…found a human so…attracting before and not…want to eat them…”
Yuuna carefully picked up the shiny object and walked towards Ako. They kept quiet and were about to creep out of the cave when Ayaka suddenly turned in her sleep and slammed a paw onto Yuuna’s back, almost crushing her under the paw and causing her to drop the shiny item that flung into the air and onto the ground further down the cave.
”Son of a—“
”Oh Negi…I love you Negi…why is it that you’re a human boy but not a handsome young leopard?” Ayaka muttered in her sleep and suddenly started to hug Yuuna, almost squeezing her to death.
”Ack…”
Ako clapped her wings onto her beak as she shouted, “Yuuna-san!”
Yuuna managed to put her paw to her mouth, indicating that Ako must be silent. She pointed at the shiny thing and in some sort of odd animal sign language, directed Ako out the cave with the shiny thing, but Ako didn’t want to leave her here.
Suddenly, Ayaka started to lick Yuuna in the face, whose expression became one of shock and disgust. The leopard chanted the name ‘Negi’ as she did so, stroking the young otter with her large tongue. As Yuuna was getting a ‘bath’ from the large leopard, she started to panic a bit and quickly uttered Ako to run the hell out of this cave away from this very very strange wildcat.
Then the sleeping cat started to bite, lightly, or else she’d be dead, on Yuuna’s neck, in which Yuuna was very much extremely disturbed by now. However the strong grasp of the leopard prevented her from escaping. She raised a paw towards Ako and in a small decreasing of decibels cry deliberately pushed the chick away from the odd leopard…
”Why Negi, you’re awfully hairy today…wait a minute, little boys aren’t…”
Ako gasped as the leopard awoke with the greatest anger one would ever have seen. Her eyes were a great shining green, as if an emerald but it’d be wrong to describe it such as an emerald because she was a ferocious leopard, not a pretty young 14 year old lady would one describe in a mary-sue fanfic. She gaped open her large jaws and in a loud devastating voice…
”WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?”
Yuuna was in her death-grip.
-
I apologize for the last scene, it just popped into my head and I was like, “Well, that sounds funny” but whether or not it fits the sense of humor in this story, it definitely doesn’t. However I don’t care, since it works and Ayaka is perverted shotacon for Negi anyway. Yay for cliffhangers!
That is all. Please return to your miserable lives now. :D
