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spottoChapter 12 of "Happy Farm Friends" has been written awfully quickly. (Meaning it will suck, more or less)
Continue your miserable lives now, kthxbye.
Chapter 12: Issues
A/N: I just realized that Ayaka is not a leopard, but a cheetah…oh well.
-
The sky was bleak as the sun set at the western horizon. Everybody was sitting around not worrying at all that two of their own were currently confronting a cheetah, besides a certain crane and wolf. Yue and Nodoka had returned, after the kappa, Kaede, had come back much faster than they had anticipated, and so ended up losing her as they were following her back to the others. Kazumi, Ku Fei, Kaede, Kotaro, and Dark Evangel were all playing cards. Kotaro only for the fact that the bunny-rabbit had bet one hostage in their game, and Setsuna was too freaked out to be concentrating.
”Hmmm…go fish.”
”Damnit!” Kotaro cursed.
Kazumi perked up, “Do you have any…nines!?”
”You asked me that already.”
”Yeah, but then you picked up a card afterwards so I’m wondering if that was a nine,” Kazumi said.
The rabbit continued, “Go fish. Why is everyone asking me?”
”Because you bet a hostage.”
”WHY ARE YOU RISKING OJOU-SAMA’S LIFE ON A PETTY GAME OF GO FISH!?!?!”
Ku Fei replied, “What are we supposed to do? Just wait in great suspense-aru?”
”Hmm, let’s see. Oh! Eva, do you have a queen, de-gozaru?”
”Hahahaha…no. Go fish.”
”You’ve been go-fishing all day! YOU MUST BE CHEATING BECAUSE YOU’RE EVIL!” Kotaro accused.
Eva explained, “Yes, I AM evil, but I would never cheat on a card game. That’d be lower than low.”
”That’s true. Cheating in gambling is worse than betraying your own country and killing and raping all the citizens!!!” Kazumi yelled.
”…”
Yue was watching from a tree afar. She could see everyone’s cards, and the evil merciless rabbit was definitely not cheating. The bird was also on lookout to see if Yuuna and Ako had returned yet, but so far there was no sign of them. She started to lose hope on them; after all, a cheetah was the fastest land animal that she had ever seen. A tiny little chick and a handicapped otter needed a miracle to outrun such a beast.
”Hey Kazumi, you’re losing pretty bad, aru. You have nothing to bet now, arune!” Ku Fei said.
The canary jumped up, “Then I’ll bet anything I have left! How about a feather?”
”You could bet your body. I could use that on a grill, or something, aruyo!”
A mysterious being was hidden in the bushes, watching their game of gambling. Nobody except Kaede, being the kappa she was, noticed the animal. Kaede did not speak up because she automatically knew in some mysterious ninja-kappa way, that the hidden creature was harmless. The spying continued.
”The deck’s gone! Everybody count their cards.”
And thus, counting commenced, since animals didn’t count very well, it took a combined time of fifteen minutes to finish counting how many cards they had.
Ku Fei announced, “I got twelve cards-aru!”
”I have fourteen cards, de-gozaru.”
”I have…six cards,” Kotaro mumbled.
Kazumi refused to announce her result, since everybody could tell just by looking at them, two.
The Dark Evangel laughed, “Hahaha! I have eighteen cards! I’ve won the stupid kappa’s favourite leaf, all of the kitty’s nikuman, the mutt’s stolen pointy stick, and 4,086 feathers from the dumb canary.”
”I am not a kappa, de-gozaru.”
”Do you even HAVE that many feathers!?!?!” Setsuna screamed.
Satsuki the squirrel didn’t really approve of gambling in front of her nikuman café, but she had let it go since it was apparently aiming for a good cause, not that it ended up like that, though. Suddenly, the bushes in the back started making sounds, and so every animal turned their heads to see who was spying on their private illegal business. Out came a spotted canine with a very, very wide smile, so much so that it seemed like she was on drugs. She then pointed at the dark rabbit.
”Hello there! I am Sakurako, and I noticed your pitiful gambling skills! I challenge you to a game of slapjack! Winner takes ALL!”
In the mind of especially one crane, it was in panic. What in god’s name is that stupid dog doing!? Just some stranger we’ve never seen before and now she wants the gamble upon Ojou-sama’s life!? I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT! As her dedicated protector for LIFE, I will do everything possible to keep that koala alive!
The Dark Evangel snickered evilly, “Oh really? I accept. I have never lost in slapjack…what is your bid?”
The canine looked around, “I bid this pretty looking seal here!”
She dragged Nodoka towards the game circle, who was bewildered at exactly what was going on. Noticing this, Yue flew down to try to stop the invasive intruder with her leet boring lecture skills.
”You cannot bid a being of life, canine. It is immoral, and secondly you don’t even know who we are and just decided to jump into our business like it was a piece of cheese that a mouse was hunting. Who do you think you are?”
Sakurako laughed, “Oh! I’m not a stranger! Doesn’t Kazumi-chan here know me from the pet store? You know me, dontcha!?”
”Oh yeah, there was a dog named Sakurako there…”
”And now that stupid bird betted all her feathers and more away! Hahaha!”
”Oi…”
Eva sighed, “Let’s just start this business. I’m quite bored anyway, since that damned beaver and the stupid chicken thing are dead now.”
”WHAT!?”
”Do you honestly think a beaver with a screwed up leg and a tiny chicken thing that has a phobia of blood will escape from a cheetah, also known as the fastest animal in this forest!?”
”How do you know she’s afraid of blood?” Setsuna asked, sweating in nervousness now.
The bunny smirked, “I’ve watched you all ever since chapter five, when you were stupid and decided to go on a journey to nowhere, where the moronic canary almost became bird juice when she entered the blender of death that the human took you to. I saw that stupid chicken thing faint all right. You see, first the stupid beaver will act noble and try to grab the shiny thing by herself, in which the cheetah will definitely wake up and maul her to death. The tiny little chicken thing will be traumatized from the sight and faint, where the cheetah will find her and eat her up.”
Setsuna growled, I was stupid to trust that otter…now Ojou-sama will kill me when she finds out Ako’s been eaten…
”So…slapjack, anyone?”
-
”Well how convenient, this tasty little beaver managed to squirm into my grasp, wanting the great feline of this forest to devour her, you must be honoured!” Ayaka said as her jaws reached closer to biting off the otter’s head.
Not in the mood to correct the cheetah, Yuuna went into ‘instinct-mode’ and bit the cheetah hard on the paw that was holding her. In a loud yelp, Yuuna was able to break free. She limped towards Ako and picked her up, then ran as fast as she could possibly run, which isn’t very fast, towards the entrance of the cave.
”When we get to the entrance I’ll throw this shiny thing to you and you run as fast as possible back towards everybody else!” Yuuna explained as she ran.
Ako whimpered, “B-but, what about y-you?”
”Well, realistically, I’ll probably get eaten. Don’t look back Ako-chan, just don’t look back when you run.”
The cheetah made a mighty leap, and before the otter could step out of the entrance, the great wildcat’s teeth sank deep into the tail of the river otter, who threw the shiny object into the air, in which Ako managed to catch. The chick however, did look back and decided to run back, in fact all the way to the cheetah’s jaws that were still clasped onto the tail of Yuuna. She kicked the wildcat’s muzzle with a tiny annoying flick.
”Oh, you have the nerve to kick me you tiny little—“
Suddenly, a gust of wind out of nowhere smacked into the side of the cheetah’s face, causing her to let go of the otter. The brown mammal picked up the little bird and ran off, while the cheetah looked around in confusion, and then to her great happiness, saw two men, one of which was her love, Negi, watching with their binoculars from afar.
”That’s a cheetah, Negi. They’re endangered so it’s rare to see them out here.” Nagi said as he explained to his son in an expedition of animal-watching.
”Now where on earth did our hyper dog go?”
Negi suddenly cried, “Uh, father? THAT CHEETAH IS COMING STRAIGHT FOR US!”
”What? We didn’t disturb its peace! This is odd behaviour! Come son, let’s get out of here!”
”Oh Negi! Please don’t run my looooooooove!”
As the cheetah ran off into the distance following the two humans, a familiar spirit peeked out from behind a tree, watching the cat and also peering to the other side to see the otter and chick a safe distance away from the spotted cat. She sighed in relief.
”That was close…”
-
”A JACK!”
There was an echo of a slap that continued throughout the forest. Many animals’ paws were sore from the great courageous game of slapjack. It repeated like so for several minutes until an otter and a chick were in range of the noise.
”I wonder what they’re doing…” Ako speculated, “sounds…painful.”
Yuuna sweatdropped, “They sure don’t sound very worried about us…”
”I wonder what happened back there which let us run off from that scary cheetah.”
”That stupid beast called me a BEAVER! I am not a beaver…do I look like a beaver to you, Ako!?”
”…what’s a beaver?”
”Our dumb cousins who knock down trees and make houses like that, I swear it always blocks the rivers when I swim down there and I always yell at them! They’re such rude creatures! I once tried to make a tunnel through their home so I can get through and they threw sticks at me! I hope the evil kappa ate them.”
”Oh…” Ako replied. She suddenly noticed Yuuna’s not-so-good-looking tail. She noticed something familiar that had made her dizzy last time…
”B-blood…”
Yuuna covered Ako’s eyes, “Hey, don’t look at my tail. You’re too young to see such gruesome violence like that!”
They finally reached the clearing where all the other animals were.
SLAP!
”You dug your claws into my wing! WAAAAAAAAAH!!!” A canary started yelling in pain and ran around the area.
”You must’ve dug in deep, demon of the night…Kazumi never cries-aruka.”
Yuuna chirped up, “Uh, hello?”
Every creature turned around to see who had mumbled up a greeting, and it was a tad scary to Yuuna since they all did that the VERY SAME TIME.
”Oh my god! They’re alive!”
”Impossible! My wolves told me they were as good as dead!”
Yuuna grinned, “You underestimate us creatures. Anyway, here’s your shiny thing.”
Eva took the shiny object and unwrapped it. It turned out to be…a carrot.
”A carrot!?”
The bunny proceeded to chomp on the orange vegetable, “Thanks. Now, where were we in the game?”
Sakurako smiled, “And it looks like I won! Give all of Kazumi-chan’s friends back please!”
”No.”
”What!? Why!?”
”I’m evil. I don’t play fair,” she started, “I’ll give them back for sure if someone does one more task. ALONE.”
”How do we know you’ll give them back if they finish this task!?”
”If you DON’T do it, I will kill them,” She finished.
”Damn you and your evilness!”
”This is your task,” the Dark Evangel started, “one of you will head to a volcano far away from here. Within this volcano, there is something you must destroy. There’s a vicious fox living there. You must kill this fox before the volcano erupts, which would be in approx. five hours. It takes two hours to go there, and two to come back. The inside of the volcano is a maze, and at the end of it is the fox.”
Everybody looked at the rabbit as if she was evil…which she was, “What!? Are you insane? The only one who has a chance to do that is the kappa!”
”Who I won’t choose, since I’m evil and all.”
”Just ONE creature is INSANE.”
”Fine…you ALL want to go?”
”No! If we leave her then she will just go and kill the hostages!” Setsuna said, “Only some of us will go. I will stay for the sake of Ojou-sama…”
The bunny sighed, “Why don’t I CHOOSE who will go? Being the one who won’t hesitate to kill those animals I have. And I guess I’ll choose four of you…the beaver’s going again, so is the tiny chick, and that stupid cat…and…”
”Kappa! Choose the kappa!!!”
”I’m leaving, de-gozaru, because you keep calling me a kappa.”
Kazumi was still licking her wing from the slapjack game, “Stupid bunny, stupid son of a—“
”…the canary.”
”…eh?”
”KAZUMI! WHY’D YOU HAVE TO GO AND INSULT THE RABBIT AT SUCH A CRUCIAL TIME!!” Setsuna yelled.
Kotaro growled, “Yeah! If you guys fail, I WILL EAT YOU, THE CHICK, THE BEAVER, AND THAT CAT!”
”I’m not easy to eat, aru…”
”Now hurry up, you four don’t got much time…”
-
I apologize for the unfunniness of this chapter. I had a hard time writing it but really wanted to finish it for some reason. Anyway, now that I got four of the easiest to write characters onto the journey, it’d get better. =D (Yuuna, Ako, Kazumi, Ku Fei, and Sayo later on are going to be the main characters from now on… [and one more who hasn’t been “introduced” yet] [sometimes with Setsuna and Konoka added] to make it easier to write. The background characters might get some time to shine, but not as much. Woot.
Oh yeah, and I like hurting characters in fanfiction, so there will be more than just a slashed shoulder or a bitten tail.
A/N: I just realized that Ayaka is not a leopard, but a cheetah…oh well.
-
The sky was bleak as the sun set at the western horizon. Everybody was sitting around not worrying at all that two of their own were currently confronting a cheetah, besides a certain crane and wolf. Yue and Nodoka had returned, after the kappa, Kaede, had come back much faster than they had anticipated, and so ended up losing her as they were following her back to the others. Kazumi, Ku Fei, Kaede, Kotaro, and Dark Evangel were all playing cards. Kotaro only for the fact that the bunny-rabbit had bet one hostage in their game, and Setsuna was too freaked out to be concentrating.
”Hmmm…go fish.”
”Damnit!” Kotaro cursed.
Kazumi perked up, “Do you have any…nines!?”
”You asked me that already.”
”Yeah, but then you picked up a card afterwards so I’m wondering if that was a nine,” Kazumi said.
The rabbit continued, “Go fish. Why is everyone asking me?”
”Because you bet a hostage.”
”WHY ARE YOU RISKING OJOU-SAMA’S LIFE ON A PETTY GAME OF GO FISH!?!?!”
Ku Fei replied, “What are we supposed to do? Just wait in great suspense-aru?”
”Hmm, let’s see. Oh! Eva, do you have a queen, de-gozaru?”
”Hahahaha…no. Go fish.”
”You’ve been go-fishing all day! YOU MUST BE CHEATING BECAUSE YOU’RE EVIL!” Kotaro accused.
Eva explained, “Yes, I AM evil, but I would never cheat on a card game. That’d be lower than low.”
”That’s true. Cheating in gambling is worse than betraying your own country and killing and raping all the citizens!!!” Kazumi yelled.
”…”
Yue was watching from a tree afar. She could see everyone’s cards, and the evil merciless rabbit was definitely not cheating. The bird was also on lookout to see if Yuuna and Ako had returned yet, but so far there was no sign of them. She started to lose hope on them; after all, a cheetah was the fastest land animal that she had ever seen. A tiny little chick and a handicapped otter needed a miracle to outrun such a beast.
”Hey Kazumi, you’re losing pretty bad, aru. You have nothing to bet now, arune!” Ku Fei said.
The canary jumped up, “Then I’ll bet anything I have left! How about a feather?”
”You could bet your body. I could use that on a grill, or something, aruyo!”
A mysterious being was hidden in the bushes, watching their game of gambling. Nobody except Kaede, being the kappa she was, noticed the animal. Kaede did not speak up because she automatically knew in some mysterious ninja-kappa way, that the hidden creature was harmless. The spying continued.
”The deck’s gone! Everybody count their cards.”
And thus, counting commenced, since animals didn’t count very well, it took a combined time of fifteen minutes to finish counting how many cards they had.
Ku Fei announced, “I got twelve cards-aru!”
”I have fourteen cards, de-gozaru.”
”I have…six cards,” Kotaro mumbled.
Kazumi refused to announce her result, since everybody could tell just by looking at them, two.
The Dark Evangel laughed, “Hahaha! I have eighteen cards! I’ve won the stupid kappa’s favourite leaf, all of the kitty’s nikuman, the mutt’s stolen pointy stick, and 4,086 feathers from the dumb canary.”
”I am not a kappa, de-gozaru.”
”Do you even HAVE that many feathers!?!?!” Setsuna screamed.
Satsuki the squirrel didn’t really approve of gambling in front of her nikuman café, but she had let it go since it was apparently aiming for a good cause, not that it ended up like that, though. Suddenly, the bushes in the back started making sounds, and so every animal turned their heads to see who was spying on their private illegal business. Out came a spotted canine with a very, very wide smile, so much so that it seemed like she was on drugs. She then pointed at the dark rabbit.
”Hello there! I am Sakurako, and I noticed your pitiful gambling skills! I challenge you to a game of slapjack! Winner takes ALL!”
In the mind of especially one crane, it was in panic. What in god’s name is that stupid dog doing!? Just some stranger we’ve never seen before and now she wants the gamble upon Ojou-sama’s life!? I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT! As her dedicated protector for LIFE, I will do everything possible to keep that koala alive!
The Dark Evangel snickered evilly, “Oh really? I accept. I have never lost in slapjack…what is your bid?”
The canine looked around, “I bid this pretty looking seal here!”
She dragged Nodoka towards the game circle, who was bewildered at exactly what was going on. Noticing this, Yue flew down to try to stop the invasive intruder with her leet boring lecture skills.
”You cannot bid a being of life, canine. It is immoral, and secondly you don’t even know who we are and just decided to jump into our business like it was a piece of cheese that a mouse was hunting. Who do you think you are?”
Sakurako laughed, “Oh! I’m not a stranger! Doesn’t Kazumi-chan here know me from the pet store? You know me, dontcha!?”
”Oh yeah, there was a dog named Sakurako there…”
”And now that stupid bird betted all her feathers and more away! Hahaha!”
”Oi…”
Eva sighed, “Let’s just start this business. I’m quite bored anyway, since that damned beaver and the stupid chicken thing are dead now.”
”WHAT!?”
”Do you honestly think a beaver with a screwed up leg and a tiny chicken thing that has a phobia of blood will escape from a cheetah, also known as the fastest animal in this forest!?”
”How do you know she’s afraid of blood?” Setsuna asked, sweating in nervousness now.
The bunny smirked, “I’ve watched you all ever since chapter five, when you were stupid and decided to go on a journey to nowhere, where the moronic canary almost became bird juice when she entered the blender of death that the human took you to. I saw that stupid chicken thing faint all right. You see, first the stupid beaver will act noble and try to grab the shiny thing by herself, in which the cheetah will definitely wake up and maul her to death. The tiny little chicken thing will be traumatized from the sight and faint, where the cheetah will find her and eat her up.”
Setsuna growled, I was stupid to trust that otter…now Ojou-sama will kill me when she finds out Ako’s been eaten…
”So…slapjack, anyone?”
-
”Well how convenient, this tasty little beaver managed to squirm into my grasp, wanting the great feline of this forest to devour her, you must be honoured!” Ayaka said as her jaws reached closer to biting off the otter’s head.
Not in the mood to correct the cheetah, Yuuna went into ‘instinct-mode’ and bit the cheetah hard on the paw that was holding her. In a loud yelp, Yuuna was able to break free. She limped towards Ako and picked her up, then ran as fast as she could possibly run, which isn’t very fast, towards the entrance of the cave.
”When we get to the entrance I’ll throw this shiny thing to you and you run as fast as possible back towards everybody else!” Yuuna explained as she ran.
Ako whimpered, “B-but, what about y-you?”
”Well, realistically, I’ll probably get eaten. Don’t look back Ako-chan, just don’t look back when you run.”
The cheetah made a mighty leap, and before the otter could step out of the entrance, the great wildcat’s teeth sank deep into the tail of the river otter, who threw the shiny object into the air, in which Ako managed to catch. The chick however, did look back and decided to run back, in fact all the way to the cheetah’s jaws that were still clasped onto the tail of Yuuna. She kicked the wildcat’s muzzle with a tiny annoying flick.
”Oh, you have the nerve to kick me you tiny little—“
Suddenly, a gust of wind out of nowhere smacked into the side of the cheetah’s face, causing her to let go of the otter. The brown mammal picked up the little bird and ran off, while the cheetah looked around in confusion, and then to her great happiness, saw two men, one of which was her love, Negi, watching with their binoculars from afar.
”That’s a cheetah, Negi. They’re endangered so it’s rare to see them out here.” Nagi said as he explained to his son in an expedition of animal-watching.
”Now where on earth did our hyper dog go?”
Negi suddenly cried, “Uh, father? THAT CHEETAH IS COMING STRAIGHT FOR US!”
”What? We didn’t disturb its peace! This is odd behaviour! Come son, let’s get out of here!”
”Oh Negi! Please don’t run my looooooooove!”
As the cheetah ran off into the distance following the two humans, a familiar spirit peeked out from behind a tree, watching the cat and also peering to the other side to see the otter and chick a safe distance away from the spotted cat. She sighed in relief.
”That was close…”
-
”A JACK!”
There was an echo of a slap that continued throughout the forest. Many animals’ paws were sore from the great courageous game of slapjack. It repeated like so for several minutes until an otter and a chick were in range of the noise.
”I wonder what they’re doing…” Ako speculated, “sounds…painful.”
Yuuna sweatdropped, “They sure don’t sound very worried about us…”
”I wonder what happened back there which let us run off from that scary cheetah.”
”That stupid beast called me a BEAVER! I am not a beaver…do I look like a beaver to you, Ako!?”
”…what’s a beaver?”
”Our dumb cousins who knock down trees and make houses like that, I swear it always blocks the rivers when I swim down there and I always yell at them! They’re such rude creatures! I once tried to make a tunnel through their home so I can get through and they threw sticks at me! I hope the evil kappa ate them.”
”Oh…” Ako replied. She suddenly noticed Yuuna’s not-so-good-looking tail. She noticed something familiar that had made her dizzy last time…
”B-blood…”
Yuuna covered Ako’s eyes, “Hey, don’t look at my tail. You’re too young to see such gruesome violence like that!”
They finally reached the clearing where all the other animals were.
SLAP!
”You dug your claws into my wing! WAAAAAAAAAH!!!” A canary started yelling in pain and ran around the area.
”You must’ve dug in deep, demon of the night…Kazumi never cries-aruka.”
Yuuna chirped up, “Uh, hello?”
Every creature turned around to see who had mumbled up a greeting, and it was a tad scary to Yuuna since they all did that the VERY SAME TIME.
”Oh my god! They’re alive!”
”Impossible! My wolves told me they were as good as dead!”
Yuuna grinned, “You underestimate us creatures. Anyway, here’s your shiny thing.”
Eva took the shiny object and unwrapped it. It turned out to be…a carrot.
”A carrot!?”
The bunny proceeded to chomp on the orange vegetable, “Thanks. Now, where were we in the game?”
Sakurako smiled, “And it looks like I won! Give all of Kazumi-chan’s friends back please!”
”No.”
”What!? Why!?”
”I’m evil. I don’t play fair,” she started, “I’ll give them back for sure if someone does one more task. ALONE.”
”How do we know you’ll give them back if they finish this task!?”
”If you DON’T do it, I will kill them,” She finished.
”Damn you and your evilness!”
”This is your task,” the Dark Evangel started, “one of you will head to a volcano far away from here. Within this volcano, there is something you must destroy. There’s a vicious fox living there. You must kill this fox before the volcano erupts, which would be in approx. five hours. It takes two hours to go there, and two to come back. The inside of the volcano is a maze, and at the end of it is the fox.”
Everybody looked at the rabbit as if she was evil…which she was, “What!? Are you insane? The only one who has a chance to do that is the kappa!”
”Who I won’t choose, since I’m evil and all.”
”Just ONE creature is INSANE.”
”Fine…you ALL want to go?”
”No! If we leave her then she will just go and kill the hostages!” Setsuna said, “Only some of us will go. I will stay for the sake of Ojou-sama…”
The bunny sighed, “Why don’t I CHOOSE who will go? Being the one who won’t hesitate to kill those animals I have. And I guess I’ll choose four of you…the beaver’s going again, so is the tiny chick, and that stupid cat…and…”
”Kappa! Choose the kappa!!!”
”I’m leaving, de-gozaru, because you keep calling me a kappa.”
Kazumi was still licking her wing from the slapjack game, “Stupid bunny, stupid son of a—“
”…the canary.”
”…eh?”
”KAZUMI! WHY’D YOU HAVE TO GO AND INSULT THE RABBIT AT SUCH A CRUCIAL TIME!!” Setsuna yelled.
Kotaro growled, “Yeah! If you guys fail, I WILL EAT YOU, THE CHICK, THE BEAVER, AND THAT CAT!”
”I’m not easy to eat, aru…”
”Now hurry up, you four don’t got much time…”
-
I apologize for the unfunniness of this chapter. I had a hard time writing it but really wanted to finish it for some reason. Anyway, now that I got four of the easiest to write characters onto the journey, it’d get better. =D (Yuuna, Ako, Kazumi, Ku Fei, and Sayo later on are going to be the main characters from now on… [and one more who hasn’t been “introduced” yet] [sometimes with Setsuna and Konoka added] to make it easier to write. The background characters might get some time to shine, but not as much. Woot.
Oh yeah, and I like hurting characters in fanfiction, so there will be more than just a slashed shoulder or a bitten tail.
Continue your miserable lives now, kthxbye.
