Kazumi is HAWT.

[spotto]

Yay! Chapter 22!

It's a very special chapter, I finished it in time for the Taiwanese Father's Day (okay so none of us is Taiwanese but that's not the point)

Chapter 22: Papa

”Daddy!” Yuuna yelled as she ran across the sand towards an unnoticed otter busy breaking clams. A large otter got into the running mammal’s way and caused the little otter to stop.

”Eh? Who are you?”

The larger otter, who’s arms were crossed, replied, “I am—“

”Daddy’s servant? Daddy’s maid? DADDY’S BRIDE!?” Yuuna gasped.

”NO, you stupid brat, I am Chief Akashi’s bodyguard, and he is not expecting visitors. So run along now.”

Yuuna frowned, “But I’m his daughter!”

”Oh really? As far as I know his only daughter died during the tragic Kappa-Attack. Please don’t humour me, we wish not to be pranked.”

”Well I can prove it,” Yuuna started, “I can really prove it.”

”Oh really? Just try.”

The otter looked around, and then pointed at the otter who had not noticed them, which Yuuna claimed to be her father, “Alright then. In order to do this, I need you to close your eyes.”

”Close my eyes?”

”Yes, it is very delicate proof.”

”Alright then,” the bodyguard otter answered, and then shut his eyes.

Yuuna grinned as she sneaked pass the gigantic otter. She grabbed Kazumi since the bird was tagging along but didn’t seem to catch on to her friend’s plan. The greyish-brown creature crept towards the other otter in question. She had nearly made it to her father until she noticed something grabbed her tail.

”What the—“

With a quick and swift motion, the bodyguard threw the otter still holding the canary incapable of flight straight into the air. They were so far up in the sky that Yuuna could touch the lowest of clouds. When they started to descend down, the otter finally realized how high up they were.

”FLY! KAZUMI! FLLLY!”

”YOU CAN’T MAKE ME FLY! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO, AND EVEN IF I COULD, DON’T FORGET MY WING IS BROKEN!”

As the otter and the canary sped up as they went down, Yuuna screamed one thing, “DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!”

Akashi turned around, hearing the call, “Hm, what was that?”

”Just some annoying pranksters,” the bodyguard replied, “we should return to the den. Predators are on the loose at this hour.”

”Okay…but that voice was…familiar.”

-

Ako looked around after they saw the otter and canary get thrown away, “Where are they now? Where is Yuuna-san and oneechan!?”

”Odd, I can’t spot them in the air; they must’ve went real high…” Setsuna said, “I’ll fly to the air and look.”

Ku Fei pointed all the way at the other side of the lake, “You don’t have to-aru! They’re landing all the way over there-aruka!”

”Wouldn’t a fall so high…kill them?” Haruna asked.

Chisame sighed, “Someone should catch them…”

”I don’t think any of us can reach the other side in time—“

WAZOOOOM!!!

”WaZOOM!? What kind of retarded sound effect is THAT!?” Chisame growled, and a wisp of smoke from the sound effect appeared. There were small splashes appearing in the water one slightly head of each other after and it kept going at a speedy pace until it stopped at the other side of the lake. The puff of trailing smoke started to disappear as the otter and canary landed on the end of it.

”AHA! I, the mysterious pig, with my awesome skills of running have broken your fall, which basically means I’ve SAVED YOUR LIFE! My stalkin—, er, FOLLOWING, of you is now LEGIT!” The pig yelled.

Yuuna looked around, “Erm, where’s Kazumi?”

”…so that’s what the other object in the sky I failed to catch was…” Misora stated.

”It’s okay! I landed on something…not hard!” The voice of the canary answered. Once the cloud of dust cleared, Kazumi was clearly in a large puddle of MUD.

Yuuna inspected the brown puddle Kazumi was in, then helped the bird out, “Hmm, you splashed some of that stuff on me…now we’re even dirtier!”

”Which is exactly why you need a bath, and it’s going to take forever to get everything off because when everything on you dries, it’ll be near impossible when we get back. Which is why I stole a sponge and some soap from that human,” Chisame explained as she walked towards them, also pointing at one Nagi Springfield at the end of her words. She was also now a human, holding the sponge.

Yuuna thought for a moment, “That’s a GOOD IDEA! If I’m all squeaky clean my dad will recognize me!”

”As a bird, I’m not fond of baths where people hold me in place and scrub me insanely roughly,” Kazumi started, “so…”

”That gives me more reason to scrub you even harder…” Chisame smirked; the rest of the animals finally reached them from the other side.

”YAY BATH!” Haruna cheered, throwing her drawing stick into the air.

”NO BATH!” Ku Fei yelled, “As a BIG TIGER YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO HOLD ME IN PLACE-ARUYO!”

Chisame crossed her arms, “You’re not a full-grown tiger yet, I can still easily keep you still. In fact, I’ll even start with you.”

”Noooooo-aru!!!”

The farmer grabbed the tiger and turned her around, as most of the oil was streaked along her stomach. She started scrubbing quite hard on the striped wildcat, which actually felt like a nice scratch on her stomach, and so the tiger stopped struggling. She still felt quite wet from the scrubbing and so after Chisame finished, wasn’t exactly happy in terms of mood.

”HAHAHA! KU FEI’S ALL PUFFY FROM THE SCRUBBING!” Haruna pointed, laughing quite loudly, so much so that an otter from Yuuna’s dad’s den got annoyed, came out, and threw a rock at the penguin’s head, “OW!"

The arctic animal accusingly pointed at the tiger, “You threw that rock at me, didn’t you!?

”But it came from that way and I’m standing here-aruyo!”

”You threw it around the world and it hit me, didn’t you!?”

”Haruna, now that’s definitely ridiculous,” Yue added.

Haruna said, “Or is it…MAGIC!?”

”Oh c’mon, there’s no such thing as magic…mommy, what’s magic?” Ako asked.

”Uhm…” Setsuna thought for a moment, “You know I’m not inclined to say.”

 Chisame smiled as she watched the two animals fight, then spoke up a few minutes later, “You know penguin, since you’re a wild animal, and not mine, I don’t exactly have to give you a bath.”

”What!? JUST BECAUSE I ATE ONE FISH!? DO I HAVE NO RIGHTS HERE!? I DEMAND A LAWYER!”

 Yuuna sat down against a tree, “Is it me or does Haruna just get crazier everyday?”

”Well, I know what she means when she says magic…” Kazumi started.

”What do you mean? What the hell is magic?”

”It’s—OOF!” A rock smashed right into the head of the canary, knocking her out.

Haruna chuckled, “Whoops? I missed Ku Fei…”

”You have HORRIBLE marksmanship.”

 Yuuna brought the canary to the water and dumped her head into the cold waters of Kappa Lake, easily waking up the passed out bird. She coughed up some water and took a while to breathe a bit, and then Yuuna smacked her silly in the cheek.

”What the HELL did you do THAT for!?”

”Just in case you weren’t awake,” Yuuna grinned, “so what’s this about magic?”

”What magic?”

 The otter smacked the bird in the head again, “You were talking about magic BEFORE, stupid.”

”What magic? Who the hell are you?”

”Eh!?”

”Who am I, for that matter?”

Yuuna sat there, her paw on her chin, intensely thinking in a bout of extreme concentration. Such powerful thinking that she could easily win in this if it was some sort of competition.

”AHA!”

The otter then proceeded to smack the canary silly on a rock, “REMEMBER! REMEMBER! REMEMBER! REMEMBER!”

”Uh…I think you’re going to kill her…” Nodoka pointed out quietly, which sparked the attention of several more animals.

”You can’t kill her! She’s my oneechan!” Ako yelled.

”You can’t kill her-aru! She’s my lunch-aruyo!” Ku Fei called as well.

”You can’t kill her! She’s secretly my SON-IN-LAW!” Haruna pointed out.

Yue sighed, “Shut up Haruna…”

”STOP HITTING ME ON THE BLOODY ROCK! I WAS KIDDING ABOUT NOT REMEMBERING!!!!” screamed the canary.

”Oh…” Yuuna started, and stopped, then realized something extremely important, “YOU TRICKED ME!? I WAS (BLEEPING!) WORRIED, DAMNIT! I’LL KILL YOU!” The otter continued smacking the bird onto the rock, which caused a chick, tiger, and penguin to jump in and a dust cloud fight started.

Chisame growled and pulled the penguin out of the dust cloud, “Fine, I’ll wash you…but not gently.”

The scrubbing of DOOM continued, as the farmer had to clean the entire body of the animal this time, compared to only having to do part of Ku Fei. After some time she finally got even the smallest microscopic speak off the wild arctic animal.

”SWEET! I’m all shiny clean! This level of cleanliness makes me feel naked, yo!” Haruna announced, and then started sliding all over the place on her stomach faster than even Yuuna, the master at sliding, could.

”Even though we’re all technically naked…besides the human,” Yue added.

Chisame then took Yuuna out of the dust cloud and began cleaning the otter, “Why the hell is the dust cloud still going on? I took out the main part of it!”

”Watch the nose…watch the leg…WATCH UNDER THE TAIL!!!!”

”You should be used to this, pfft.”

The otter growled, “I feel VIOLATED!”

”Even though us animals aren’t supposed to, since it’s not exactly natural,” Yue explained.

Finally, the farmer finished cleaning the otter and put her down, then reached for the final dirty member of all the creatures present, Kazumi.

”YES! I AM CLEAN! NOW TO RUN TOWARDS MY FATHER’S DEN BLISSFULLY AND STUPIDLY UNAWARE OF MY SURROUNDINGS!” Yuuna announced, and ran off. She even slid down all the hills just get there faster. Unfortunately the animal bumped into an unfriendly animal who was trying to get into the den herself for all the different reasons.

”Now what do we have here? Oh…it’s that annoying otter again,” a cheetah said, looking down at the brown creature with hunger in her eyes, “I was going to get the stupid ones inside here, but you’ll do fine for stealing that carrot from me…”

Yuuna stepped backwards, somewhat afraid, yet stated, “HA! I’m not scared of you! You were never successful in even getting any of us inside your mouth—MMMFFFH!!!” Yuuna’s head was then inside her mouth.

”Okay, I stand corrected…HELP ME!!!!!!!!! GAH!”

Ku Fei ran down the hill, “DAH! IT’S THAT STUPID CHEETAH AGAIN-ARU!” The tiger then clumsily tumbled down the hill, but it remarkably got her to the bottom faster than Yuuna ever did going down.

”REMOVE THAT OTTER FROM YOUR MOUTH-ARUKA!” Ku Fei demanded.

”Oh, she’ll be removed ‘some time’, but not exactly from my mouth,” the cheetah smirked.

Ku Fei shouted, “OKAY-ARU! YOU’LL DIE FOR MAKING ME LOSE MY APPETITE-ARUYO!”

She then jumped at the cheetah, biting the cheetah in the jaw, but this actually triggered the jaw to bite down on what was inside of the mouth, luckily Ayaka dropped the otter, and annoyed that her injury would hurt every time she chewed, she fled.

”Yuuna? Crap-aru.”

”No, I’m okay; it’s just a flesh wound!” Yuuna stated as she got up slowly, rubbing some of the teeth marks all around her back, shoulders, and chest, “O-ow.”

The tiger tried to nurse the injured otter (yes, again), until they heard a voice coming from the den above.

”Y-Yuuna?” An otter emerged from the den and walked over to the fallen otter, holding her in his arms.

”D-daddy?”

”Is it really you, Yuuna? I really thought you had died…long ago…”

Yuuna replied, her voice starting to slow, getting quieter, “I thought I w-was long dead then…too…”

”Y-you saved us all…you distracted that cheetah long enough for us to escape the den…”

”Um hello? What about me-aru?”

Akashi completely ignored the tiger, continuing to speak to his daughter, “You’re just like how I remember…”

”I-I’m glad I could see you again…before I…die…”

”Oh c’mon Yuuna, you’re not going to die-aruka!” Ku Fei said.

”WILL YOU STOP INTERRUPTING THIS PRECIOUS MOMENT IN MY LIFE!?” Yuuna spat back at the tiger with such force as if she wasn’t injured at all.

Ku Fei moped quietly, crossing her arms, “I’m sorry I saved your life-aru.”

Akashi hugged his daughter, and such powerful emotional hug lasted many seasons, about a few seconds, actually, “You’re alive!!!”

”Oh wait, does this mean I have to go back to that white place and be killed by the DEATH NEEDLE AGAIN!?” Yuuna gasped.

”You weren’t killed last time-aru,” Ku Fei pointed out, causing the otter to growl at her again, “I’m sorry for pointing out the obvious-arune.”

The other otters came out of hiding, and ran towards their benevolent leader, Chief Akashi. After the incident of what they claimed to be the Kappa Attack which led this otter’s clan few in number, they had to elect a new leader, and it ended up being Akashi. As the chief, he never seemed to settle down with another otter again, and was happy at keeping the remaining otters safe from predators. From the time he lost Yuuna to reuniting with her, many new otters arrived and lots of babies were produced.

”Oh wait, you really ARE his daughter!?” The bodyguard said, pointing at Yuuna.

The injured otter grinned, “Yes, that’s right, and I SAVED your life after you tried to KILL me. Now you OWE ME BIG TIME!”

Suddenly, a canary came tumbling down the hill, all squeaky clean and a tad annoyed from it. She came down to see what was happening and clumsily fell down just like Ku Fei. The other otters saw the canary.

”She’s a CANARY!? All that black stuff on her sure hid her species!” The bodyguard announced.

All of a sudden all the otters besides Akashi ran towards Kazumi, “A CANARY! OUR BEST ALLIES! PRAISE THE CANARY! GIVE IT ALL OUR FOOD! HAIL THE CANARY! HAIL OUR GODDESS! KISS ITS FEET!”

”Um…”

”Daddy?” Yuuna started, now even more annoyed.

”Yes, Yuuna?”

”I hate your friends.”

-

Ku Laozi: HELLO-ARU! IT IS OMAKE TIME ONCE AGAIN-ARUYO!

Kazumi: I’m the announcer, *cough*

Ku Laozi: Yes, but this time you lost at strip poker-aru!

Sayo: And it was hot.

Ku Laozi: Anyway KIDS! Today Ku Laozi will teach you WHAT TO DO WHEN AN EVIL PEDOPHILE APPROACHES YOU-ARUYO!

Kazumi: Uhh…

Ku Laozi: Now Asakura, you shall be the perverted evil ugly fat man, and now you shall approach CHISAME!

Chisame: WHEN DID I AGREE TO DO THIS!?

Haruna: Someone had to replace Yuuna, since she’s in the hospital for some ‘STRANGE MYSTERIOUS REASON.’

Misora: And I’M HERE TO REPLACE AKO!

Haruna: Even though we don’t need a third actor, but for all the kids that are wondering, your FRIEND Ako is also in the hospital, she said that the doctors there inject themselves with morphine all the time and she’ll be dead before she lets them do strange evil things to Yuuna while high, erm, ANYWAY! LET’S CONTINUE THE OMAKE, KIDS!

Misora: Oh SURE, regard me as USELESS!

Sayo: OKAY! GET THE OMAKE GOING ALREADY, YOU USELESS DUMBASSES!

Misora: Wah.

Ku Laozi: OKAY ASAKURA! READ YOUR LINE-ARU!

Kazumi: *ahem* I am a perverted hentai going for your pants…

Sayo: A LITTLE MORE EFFORT PLEASE, DAMNIT!

Kazumi: *suddenly stares at Sayo* I am a perverted hentai GOING FOR YOUR PANTS! WOOT!

Misora: Was it just me or did she disturbingly stare at our director saying that?

Sayo: SHUT UP! OR THIS OMAKE WILL BE TOO LONG AGAIN!

Chisame: Oh no, an evil perverted man, what will I do? He’s going to rape me and <CENSORED> WHAT THE HELL KIND OF LINES ARE THESE!?

Ku Laozi: Now Asakura, touch Chisame-aru.

Kazumi: Isn’t that going a little too far?

Haruna: WE HAVE TO SHOW THE KIDDIES WATCHING THIS HOW DANGEROUS EVIL PERVERTED MEN ARE! So, do it.

Kazumi: I hate losing at strip poker! *grope*

Haruna: MOAR.

Kazumi: Bah. *<CENSORED>*

Chisame: …GWAAAAH!!!!!! *grabs Kazumi, throws her at the window which smashes broken and the ‘hentai’ falls down about six stories*

Ku Laozi: AND THAT IS HOW YOU HANDLE A HENTAI-ARUKA!

Sayo: So you DID put a bed or something on the ground to break Asakura-san’s fall, right Haruna?

Haruna: Uh…whoops?

Sayo: WHAT!? YOU KILLED ASAKURA-SAN!? I’LL KILL YOU—

Ku Laozi: OH NO! We ran out of time-arune! SEE YOU NEXT TIME KIDDIES!

Misora: But what if the hentai is much stronger than the kid, which is almost always the case!?

Sayo: *strangling Haruna* SHUT UP, THE OMAKE WENT ON TOO LONG AGAIN!

BZZZZT. *omake cuts off*
-
Happy Taiwanese Father’s Day.

That is all!