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spottoSpeaking of that game, I'm in some Egyptian maze, and I apparently did something to open a door somewhere, but I can't FIND that door, X_x.
Speaking of games generally, I played some Soldat with a few old clanmates, it was shortlived due to server bugs, but fun while it lasted. ^___^
I'm also a deep sleeper, I woke up at 10am today, then went to bed. Apparently my cousin, aunt, and dad were banging at my door for half an hour sometime between 10 and 12:30 to go to Dim Sum, but I didn't hear it AT ALL (plus my habit at falling asleep whilst talking to friends *cough*sorryKiramin'AoixD*cough*) and then only an hour later I woke up at 12:30pm for no reason but realized no one was home and missed Dim Sum. Awr. D:
SHIROI IS ACTUALLY TRYING TO FINISH MY REQUEST OMGZ. Here's to the rest of you who still owe me, *cough*. But take your time as you always do, >>.
Now for chapter 24 of my very long and random story. (The omake just got even more random, sorry about that, xD, and LONG.)
BTW, I already have a lot of ideas and even how I'll end the whole story (that won't happen for a while) but despite a huge amount of ideas I had a hard time finishing this chapter, oh wells. XP
Anyway...
Chapter 24: Limit
”And THEEEEEN he said, he said that they were actually ICICLES! Those pellets we were smacked with were ICICLES! They hurt like hell, but who goes around shooting icicles at other animals for a living, huh? Not me, but that penguin was annoying as heck!” Haruna said, telling another story to all the otters. Yue had heard such story several times, but the current otters were awed by it.
Setsuna looked around, under a rock, inside a hole, behind an ant hill, but could not find what she was seemingly looking for.
”What’s wrong Setsuna?” Chizuru asked as the crane started to become more worried as she looked.
”Haven’t you noticed that Ako went missing? Ojou-sama is still asleep, but if she finds out she’ll go ballistic or something! We’re responsible for her!”
Yue added, “Actually a lot of animals seem to be gone. The tiger and canary aren’t around either.”
”WHAT!? THE CANARY IS MISSING!?!?!?!” An otter overheard, “WHY IS IT THAT WE HAVEN’T KNOWN UNTIL NOW!?”
Many otters banded around the corner, one jumping onto a rock, “The search party for that canary will begin now! There are no canaries in existence in this area except her! If we lose her now, otter holts around the world will go into chaos!”
”But she’s just one canary…there’s probably a lot off on some offshore island or something,” Yue reasoned, but she was up against an army.
”That is not it! If we don’t destroy the emotional barrier between otters and canaries, then we will never achieve their complete trust. It doesn’t help that canaries are the most romantic dinner for our animals because they’re not only delicious, but forbidden to eat, but without them the otters may go extinct! It’s like if flowers all disappeared, the bees and some small birds will go without food and all starve to death!” An otter explained, “If we allow such animal to die, or be eaten…”
Yue jumped up on a rock and tried to calm everyone down, “Well let’s see. The other creatures missing are a tiger and a chick. Now last time I recall, the chick regards Kazumi as an older sister figure, and Ku Fei, while surprisingly hasn’t done so already, does obviously want to eat Kazumi one day. A possible scenario is that the tiger finally decided to eat the canary, but the chick wishes to stop her.”
Setsuna growled, “If that’s the case then BOTH of them are in trouble!”
”But we can’t automatically assume that Ku Fei just suddenly wanted to do that out of nowhere. Logically speaking, since Ku Fei-san has known Kazumi for a while now, they perhaps developed a sort of relationship where Ku Fei-san cannot simply eat the canary anymore, and simply just says she will for the sake of her pride,” Yue continued.
”Then WHAT CAN WE ASSUME!?”
”Well, as you’ve said, canaries are a rare delicacy, and in a place where canaries usually don’t live, it’s even rarer. Perhaps Kazumi was captured by an animal wishing to eat her, such as that cheetah that’s been our problem for a while, and Ku Fei, with the pride and mentality that only she can eat Kazumi, would go out and try to save her, and Ako may want to tag along for the sake of her oneechan,” Yue said.
”The Mysterious Pig asks this, then! WHY ARE WE JUST TALKING ABOUT WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED AND AREN’T IMMEDIATELY DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!?”
”Jumping into a potentially dangerous situation,” the owl started, “without any thought into it is the highest rate of death among animals. However, my logic is flawed, for so far, where Ako has gone, Yuuna has too, and right now for all we know that otter is still here—“
”…there you go.”
”You always wake up late, Chief
”That’s only because she makes me wake up, and I purposely didn’t try to get up earlier today since I thought she’d wake me up anyway, only to see that she has disappeared from her sleeping hole…which is serious,” Akashi warned, “Yuuna would heal gradually from those devastating injuries if she rested, but she recklessly ran off…should’ve known that’d happen.”
Haruna pointed accusingly at the otter, “BUT YOU DIDN’T! AND NOW YUUNA WILL DIE!!! WHAT A HORRIBLE FATHE—“
Yue leapt at the yelling penguin and knocked her into a tree root which had grown into the den, “Please excuse this very rude penguin…”
”She’s not REALLY going to die, will she?” asked the usually quiet seal, who seemed rather concerned.
”Of course not,” Akashi explained, “but she will be easily fatigued, so escaping from predators would be far more difficult, however; the disadvantage from that may be the end for her, and that is why we should go look for the missing animals.”
-
Meanwhile…
”I really don’t see why we’re doing this.”
”Simple, ‘cause Kuu said so-aru.”
”Oh yes, like referring to yourself in third person gives you authority above all.”
”It doesn’t-aruka?”
”…you seriously think that—“
”Quiet-ne! Ah, here we are the swamp.”
”I’ve NEVER been here before. Why do you keep thinking that this place is supposedly really important to me!?”
”Yuuna-san, this is the swamp where the real creature who took most of your otter friends away lives, in short, this is where your mom died.”
”…and how does knocking Kazumi out and stuffing her in a nikuman supposed to be a connection?”
”Please let oneechan go!”
”Oh, I just did that so Ku Fei-san would come too.”
”GIVE HER TO ME-ARUYO!”
”Also because she ate my entire nikuman carriage-ne! That thing took days to cook! And the ingredients took months to gather!”
”IT WAS ALMOST AS A GOOD AS A JUICY CANARY-ARU!”
”And why do you claim that you’re from the future?”
”Didn’t Natsumi-chan narrate a play about the time-travelling panda? Maybe she’s the time-travelling panda. You’re not as scary as a b-bear, are…you?”
”Anyway, the reason I’ve brought you four here is to defeat the beast who lives here. Are you up for that challenge-ne?”
”…why would we want to do that?”
”In the future, there is a legend of four animals, supposedly a tiger, chick, otter, and canary, and they were almost invulnerable to everything. Realistically they probably weren’t, but they had an incredible amount of luck that allowed them to live through almost all the dangers they faced.”
”Wait, you said…ALMOST-aru!”
”Y-you mean…we d-don’t live though t-them all?”
”Oops, I said too much-ne.”
”Hey yeah! What if we DIE in this mission!?”
”No, no, you will forget what I just said. You will forget. You will forget. YOU WILL FORGET-NE!”
”How is chanting that supposed to make us forget—“
”OH MY GOD-ARU! I HAVE FORGOTTEN WHAT THIS PANDA SAID TEN SECONDS AGO-ARUYO!”
”I can’t r-recall either! Oh no! Is something wrong with me?”
”Wait, WHAT!? How did you forget, she said that we would—“
THONK!
THUD!
”Anymore questions, ne?”
The canary poked her head out of the warm and soft nikuman, yawning. She had not realized that the bed she had slept on was a familiar food item, and suddenly her vision cleared. The bird saw four animals, one unconscious otter, a chick, a tiger, and this mysterious panda that had approached her the night before, yet she could not recollect what had exactly happened before waking up.
”…huh?”
”Hello there Kazumi-san, glad that you’re finally awake-yo!”
The tiger was drooling, and her watery eyes eerily stared at Kazumi, as if she was covered in barbeque sauce or something, “I’m hungry-aru!”
”No! If you eat oneechan, I’ll…um…let me get back to you on that.”
Yuuna mumbled on the ground, and slowly got up, rubbing the spot on her head which the panda had smacked to keep her quiet, “Mleh!?”
”Welcome back to reality, Yuuna-san, where there was no mention of me ever saying that you will one day die in one of your misadventures, certainly not-ne!”
”Yes, there was no mention of you ever saying that…” Yuuna started, “so, why are we here at the swamp again?”
The panda pointed at the deep dark forest just waiting for its next victim to randomly wander lost into it across the swamp, “So you can randomly wander lost into it…and kill the thing that lives there.”
”I thought it lived within the swamp?”
”Sending four animals that are obviously not fish into water for a long period of time would kill you, or so I’ve heard-yo.,” the panda explained, “Now GO.”
The canary, tiger, and chick were about to wander off and get lost in a big scary forest when the realized that the otter was not following.
”…WHY are we listening to some panda!?!?!”
”Nikuman-aru.”
”I’m used to doing what everybody says…”
”Uh, all the cool kids are doing it?”
Yuuna growled, “We’ve been following strange animal’s orders forever! Go retrieve my carrot from the cheetah, go kill a fox living in an active volcano, and now go destroy an animal we don’t even know in a creepy forest…why are we doing this!? WHY IS EVERYBODY ELSE SO LAZY!? WE’RE NOT YOUR SERVANTS!”
”Don’t be silly, Yuuna! This is a chance for another adventure! Don’t you like adventure!?”
”I love adventure. I don’t like wandering into a deep forest where I’ll get eaten by a—“
The panda smiled, interrupting the otter, “You can get some revenge…”
”…well, let’s go chaps! Who’s to say some other otter hasn’t already killed whatever this thing is! I’ve packed lunch!” Yuuna grinned, lifting up a picnic basket, and the smell coming from it obviously intrigued Ku Fei’s stomach.
As they trekked deeper into the dark and brooding forest, the group suddenly realized that they were shockingly lost.
”Maybe we should’ve asked for some directions from that nice panda back there-arune.”
Kazumi looked around, intense concentration spewing from her squinting eyes as she looked everywhere, “Weren’t we just on one straight trail?”
”Yeah…how can we be lost?” Yuuna asked.
Sayo the plot device floated above Kazumi, using her poltergeist powers, such as being able to see in the dark, to look for danger. After all, if a ghost couldn’t see in the dark of all things, that’d be pretty ridiculous right there. She noticed a set of menacing eyes deep within the dense trees to the right of her, and hovered slowly to her canary friend to warn her, but fear could easily be seen in her slow and jittery movements towards the bird.
”Eeep!” Kazumi cried out, startling everybody else as if the bird had been grabbed by a gigantic monster.
”Sayo! You scared me!” The canary shouted particularly no one.
”Who are you talking to-aru?” Ku Fei asked, looking at the bird strangely.
Kazumi chuckled, “Er…um, OH NO! SOMEONE STOLE OUR NIKUMAN WE PACKED FOR LUNCH!”
”WHAT-ARUYO!?!?!”
”We must hurry up and kill this being of danger or we will STARVE to death!!!”
”What are you talking about? The nikuman is right here…” Yuuna said as she poked at the still warm meat buns sitting in her makeshift otter-made basket, which was really a hollowed out miniature log.
Kazumi grabbed all the nikuman from the basket and threw them into a puddle nearby, “THEY’RE POISONED!!!”
”Erm…how are they poisoned?”
”Oneechan is acting quite strange…”
”Ako-chan has a habit of stating the obvious…”
The bird panicked, “Uh, um, someone poisoned them! YUUNA’S OTTER FRIENDS POISONED THEM! Because…BECAUSE ONE IS SECRETLY A BEAVER!!!”
”WHAT!? WHICH ONE!? I’LL KILL THEM!”
”But I secretly ate one when Yuuna wasn’t looking-aru!!!!” Ku Fei yelled, and suddenly ran around in circles in massive horror.
”THE ONE YOU ATE WAS A DECOY NIKUMAN!!!” Kazumi explained rather quickly, “TO MAKE YOU THINK YOU’RE POISONED SO YOU WOULD BE DISTRESSED FOR WHEN WE FIGHT THE THING IN THIS FOREST AND SINCE YOU’RE OUR STRONGEST MEMBER THE REST OF US WILL BE EATEN AND DIE!!! JUST LIKE HOW THE BEAVERS WANTS IT!!!”
”Why that’s ridiculous to the extreme, but beavers are so cunning it might just be true!!!” Yuuna shouted, “How did you know all this, Kazumi!? YOU SAVED OUR LIVES!”
Sayo asked, “Uh, is this all true, Kazumi-san? You’re a-acting weird…”
”Shhh, Sayo-chan—“
”WHO IS SAYO!?” Ako suddenly asked, a great amount of curiosity jumped her young youthful spirit.
”AAAAAGH! GET IT OFF! GET IF OFF! GET IT OFF!” Yuuna suddenly screamed, running around with some sort of unidentifiable rodent latched onto her leg.
Ku Fei leapt at the distressed otter and clamped her jaws around the otter’s leg, with the rodent completely in the tiger’s mouth. The tiger than swallowed, and burped, smiling that this meal would keep her from starving for a while.
”Ow, what the HELL was that!? It was like a Natsumi on rabies covered in soot!” Yuuna exclaimed, licking her newly owned injury.
Ku Fei exhaled in a pleased manner, “Who cares-aru!? Now I won’t starve like the rest of you-aruyo! And since Kazumi threw away all the tasty but poisoned nikuman, I’ll eat her if I get hungry again-arune!”
”Yes, Kazumi, please explain how you knew all that and whoever this Sayo is…”
”Err…uh…canary skills?”
”Again with your canary—“
Suddenly, the whole forest started to rumble. Everything shook as if it were an earthquake, loose branches from trees fell, boulders were tipped over, and even some tree roots were unearthed. It was as if the thing of the forest had noticed the four loud animals lost on the only straight trail of the deep dark brooding forest…
It was but a growl, and but a roar.
As if it couldn’t talk at all.
-
Meanwhile, at some mysterious dam on the river near Kappa Lake…
”CURSES! Our plan to poison that dastardly otter and her minions has been thwarted by that dangerous and wise canary!” A beaver growled.
Another beaver cussed, “How did that (bleep!)ing canary even figure out our decoy nikuman!? We could’ve taken out that tiger!”
”And how did she find out about our undercover beaver disguising as an otter in the great otter den!? Canaries should not be underestimated!”
”Yes, the thing that lives in that deep dark forest will finish them either way, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The chief beaver laughed, “We will avenge our sisterly clan of beavers living on the other river, which suffered the explosive fate from that canary’s singing! ONE DAY THE BEAVERS WILL TRIUMPH!!!! MWAHAHAHA!”
And so the beavers laughed evilly for the rest of the day.
-
Ku Laozi: WELCOME TO KU LAOZI’S WISE AND LIFE-BETTERING ADVICE-ARUYO! Our next instalment takes place on this very large cliff-aru!
Kazumi: *looks around and whistles* Wow, what a great view! What are we doing here anyway?
Ku Laozi: Yes, well after our injured cast mysteriously got healed because I told the devil to by selling their souls to him—
Yuuna: WHAT!?
Ku Laozi: *tries to imitate Chao* YOU WILL FORGET FOR WHAT I JUST SAID-ARU! You will forget. You will forget. You will forget-aruyo!
Kazumi: OH MY GOD! I HAVE FORGOTTEN!
Yuuna: WHAT!? How can you just forget— *smashed in the head by a mallet*
THUD!
Konoka: Hello there! *puts mallet back into the dimension where characters like her pull hammers out of nowhere*
Setsuna: O-Ojou-sama! That was hardly appropriate behaviour to do that on an omake…
Konoka: I’m in charge of making sure nobody sees any plot holes, na!
Setsuna: Ah, in that case, continue your work, Ojou-sama!
Ku Laozi: TODAY OUR GUESTS ARE SETSUNA AND KONOKA OF LESBIAN SCHOOLGIRL FAME— *smashed in the head by Setsuna’s sheath of her sword* OW! What was that for-aruyo!?
Setsuna: W-why doesn’t she get knocked out!?
Konoka: Well. it’s either that hammers are the only thing effective, or Ku Fei is a baka ranger and her head is naturally very hard, hee!
Sayo: These omakes don’t really go anywhere, do they?
Misora: You finally figured it out, you, the director!?
Sayo: NO BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU, MISORA!?
Misora: No, I am not Misora, I am the mysterious actress who does nothing on the set—*smacked by a ghost light (hitodama)* OW! YOU CAN THROW THOSE THINGS!?
Sayo: Yes, I was upgraded to “cheap godmode” status.
Ku Laozi: Anyway, to our lesson of the day-arune! Kids, have you ever wanted to go look at a pretty sunset or look at fireworks or the Northern Lights, or even the stars but you can’t because you can only do it on a highly dangerous cliff, and your parents forbid you to go there-aruka?
Haruna: Wow, that’s a pretty specific lesson.
Ku Laozi: WELL TODAY THE WISE KU LAOZI WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO COME HERE WITHOUT GETTING YOUR PARENTS MAD-ARU! Watch and learn! Kazumi will be the child who wants to come here, and Yuuna shall be her BEST BUDDY-ARUYO!
Ako: *head pokes out from a tree* Why am I the tree? How does the tree serve any purpose in this omake!?
Sayo: If we don’t the trees will complain of being discriminated at, anyway, HURRY UP!
Kazumi: *kicks Yuuna* …hello?
Sayo: MISORA! YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! *whispers into her ear* NOW GO!
Misora: But I’m not Misora, I’m— *gets hit by something random* FINE! Ahem…
Misora: *picks up Yuuna and makes her act like a ventriloquist dummy * HELLO KAZUMI OL’ BUDDY OL’ PAL! You say you want to look at the beautiful sunset together but your parents are afraid doing that with another girl means that you’re actually GAY!?
Kazumi: Err…
Sayo: Those aren’t the lines.
Misora: (Yuuna) Oh, um, you want to go look at the sunset but the cliff to see it is too dangerous?
Kazumi: YES!
Ku Laozi: So they go watch it ANYWAY, and when they get home, you kids can just do THIS to explain to your parents!
Nagi Springfield: HELLO THERE! A cameo by me, ahem, anyway. KAZUMI-SAN! WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU ABOUT THAT CLIFF!?
Kazumi: Um, Yuuna-san peer-pressured me into watching it, mommy! I’m so sorry and I was crying and everything but I just gave it! WAH!
Ku Laozi: THAT’S RIGHT! BLAME YOUR FRIEND! AND YOU WILL BE CLEARED AND WELL, your friend would be screwed, BUT YOU DIDN’T GET IN TROUBLE-ARUYO!
Haruna: What kind of advice is that?
Nagi: WHY YOUR FRIEND IS A BAD INFLUENCE I WILL NOW CALL HER MOTHER! *calls* AL! YOUR DAUGHTER IS A BAD INFLUENCE!
Albeiro: WHAT!? IS THIS TRUE!?
Misora: (Yuuna) No mommy, she completely agreed to go with me—
Albeiro: YUUNA! KAZUMI IS AN INNOCENT AND POOR LITTLE GIRL AND YOU JUST TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HER! YOU ARE GROUNDED UNTIL NEGI FINDS NAGI!
Misora: (Yuuna) NOOOOOO!! (not Yuuna) Okay, we’re done right?
Sayo: Yes, this was an unbelievably long omake. Grr.
Kazumi: The only reason Yuuna and I agreed to be the main part is because they promised that no physical harm would be done to us…well, my part of the bargain was tru— *smacked in the head by a random flying birdhouse*
THUD!
Haruna: That was incredibly random…
Ku Laozi: THAT’S ALL FOR TODAY! We ran out of time, byebye kids! REMEMBER, SAY NO TO DRUGS-ARU!
Ako: (The tree) SPONSORED BY THE ENVIRONMENT! The only reason this omake lives is because you people care about global warming, and us trees need to live if YOU want to live, and— *is cut off because nobody cares about sponsors*
-
Whee.
Here it be:
Haruna/Misora
