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spottoThe omake is real long this time. =P
I consider this one of my...better chapters, that's all.
Chapter 31: Hello Again
”Ha! You think you can hit me so easily!?” The otter back-flipped onto her feet, staring at the cheetah with annoyingly determined eyes.
Baring her fangs, the cheetah arched her back, bent her legs, as her tail pointed to the sky and as her head was parallel with the otter’s head as well. The cat pounced; a slight hiss could’ve been heard from her frustration.
“Ooh! Miss me! Ha! Far from it! Whoa! That’s a close one!”
Iincho growled and slammed her paw towards the otter at an excruciating force. The claws swiftly smashed into the side of the no-longer-dodging-successfully-otter. The energy released from the swing of the paw threw Yuuna into the air and across the ground about twenty metres.
”YUUNA!” Ako called.
”IDIOT!” Kazumi followed.
The otter got up; her grin was still there, unfortunately for the cheetah. Her paw was resting on the inflicting wound she received from the wildcat, but as she lifted it, there was no familiar crimson liquid that they all were so used to seeing by now. Yuuna stared at it for a bit, in a spur of curiosity, but easily took her attention away back at the cheetah. The otter raised her paw, motioning the speedy cat to come closer.
The cheetah bared her teeth, “Is that some kind of trick? You should be on the ground bleeding to death by now.”
”I’m done with ‘bleeding to death’, cat. I told you I felt like I could accomplish anything today, and I will!”
The otter struck, speeding towards the wildcat as if she were flying, with her paw out. A quick swipe and a bite there, but the cheetah was after all the fastest land animal on the planet, and easily dodged the attack of a mere otter, albeit abnormal. Yuuna balanced on her front paw, pushing herself off the ground, and jumping into the air flying towards the cheetah. She swung her tail for a hit, but it was taken into the air by the fangs of the spotted feline.
”Oi! Let me go!!!” Yuuna said, waving her paws around trying to make the cat let go.
The paw of the cheetah grabbed hold of Yuuna’s neck, squeezing. The cheetah’s grip on Yuuna’s tail tightened, trying to bite right through her tail and possibly suffocating her, but much to everyone’s surprise, nothing was happening to her.
”I said let me GO!” Yuuna yelled, struggling in the cat’s grip even more. As she shook the ground suddenly shook, giving the impression that Yuuna was somehow controlled the earth itself, but when a huge wave of power smashed through the area, digging up trees and whatnot along with it, the source of the attack seemed to come from somewhere nearby.
Another wave was heading straight towards the chick, who didn’t notice it approaching.
”AKO! WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU!” Yuuna called out, trying to break free of the cheetah’s grip.
Ako turned around to see the gigantic blade of power flying towards her, and all of the sudden she was tackled into a tree. A canary rolled to a stop in front of her. The ghost flew towards them, checking if they were alright. Ako bounced off the tree and headed towards the canary who was lying face down.
“Oneechan? Are you alright?”
Kazumi stood back up, dusting herself off and puffing in exhaustion, “What the hell is going on…?”
The whole forest was literally being decapitated from the sudden waves of power, one was heading towards the otter and the cheetah, forcing the cat to drop Yuuna for the sake of her own being by dodging. Yuuna luckily rolled under the blast, not that anything seemed to affect her anyway.
”It’s way too dangerous to even attempt to fight here…”
Yuuna watched on as more waves of destruction followed, “Hey cat, didn’t your other stupid cat friend run off that direction!?”
”…” The cheetah was speechless, but decided to run towards the source of all the power anyway.
”That doesn’t mean run away from me! We’re not finished yet! Hey!” Yuuna yelled, chasing the cheetah.
”Treading into danger may be idiotic but…this isn’t the first time,” Kazumi mumbled as she followed suit, looking behind her to make sure Ako was safe, “You sure you want to follow? It’s dangerous…”
”If you and Yuuna will go, then so will I!”
”Okay then…c’mon Sayo.”
-
FOOM!
It was rabbit versus fox. Or to be more precise, a dark evil blood-sucking black rabbit versus a berserk nine-tailed canine monster. Surprisingly, the fox had the edge in this battle. The only reason the rabbit was able to manage was because of her ever-so loyal giraffe companion, who was backing her up.
”Didn’t think a kitsune would be this powerful…” Evangeline muttered, “but that isn’t going to stop me!”
”I’m still very confused.” The goat added, watching the fight of the heavyweights take place.
Several other animals ended up arriving, including, somehow, a dog. A very familiar dog to this very confused goat it was, and a very genki dog to this very confused goat it was.
”Hello Misa! Why are you here?” Sakurako greeted, waving her paw.
”Sakurako! Do you know what’s going on? Have you seen Madoka? Who are these strange animals and their strange yet oddly satisfying relationships with each other!?”
Sakurako put her foot on a boulder and pointed up to the sky, “WHY, THEY ARE MY FRIENDS!!!”
BOOM!
A tree was knocked off its roots, flying into a cliff.
”You have very violent friends.”
”Well, they weren’t violent before…”
Yue stared at the large scale battle taking place, “So Chisame seems to have changed a bit.”
”I wonder why…” Nodoka added.
Haruna jumped on top of a stone, taking out her pointy stick and carving a picture onto a nearby tree, “I shall tell you why! Chisame was but a lonely little girl, who only needed love. And the rest of us have love, you love that boy, Setsuna loves Konoka, that rabbit loves that giraffe, that wolf loves Chizuru and Natsumi, Ako loves her sister and Yuuna, and of course, I love YOU, Yue!”
”What? You love me?”
”Of COURSE I do. Who DOESN’T love you, Yue? You are amazingly LOVABLE! We could hug you ALL DAY LONG until you’re DEAD! And we STILL wouldn’t stop! That is the amount of love that we HAVE for you, Yue, MY LOVE.”
”I can’t wait until you show me how much you love me, then,” Yue answered with a inexpressive tone, slurping into her special water.
Misora scratched her head, “So, if we want to fix Chisame, we hug her?”
”That is a WONDERFUL idea, Misora! Why don’t you SAVE US ALL and hug her RIGHT NOW!?”
”Uhhh…”
The penguin pushed the pig towards the enraged fox, “Poor ol’ Chisame NEEDS love, and I know YOU can bring it, my friend!”
”What the HELL do you think you’re doing!?” The Dark Evangel yelled at the two animals approaching Chisame.
“LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND!”
Haruna proceeded to push Misora into the fox. The pig got tangled up in its tails immediately, but managed to get free minutes later. Of course that didn’t make the already-insane kitsune any better, and so the pig used its great speed to run off, leaving Haruna to peer at the very powerful and destructive canine.
”So maybe it wasn’t love after all…”
The kitsune growled and attempted to strike the penguin with its mighty paws. Suddenly, a random brown creature appeared out of the blue to intervene the attack, saving the penguin from ultimate doom.
”Yuuna? YOU’RE ALIVE!”
”That is impossible!”
”A-amazing…”
”And for that, I AM PROUD!”
”Wow.”
”There’s a first time for everything.”
”HUZZAH! GOOOOO YUUNA!”
”This isn’t exactly your battle.”
”…who?”
The otter landed onto the ground, turning its head to stare at the canine, “Who would this rather angry creature be?”
Kazumi and Ako screeched to a stop when they reached the clearing, looking up at the very different Chisame, “Well I certainly didn’t expect THIS.”
”You should always expect anything and everything.” A voice came out of nowhere. Everyone turned around, confused, even the combatants. As their eyes scanned the area, Ako, in particular, noticed an animal emerging from the bushes afar. It was rather different from the rest of the animals; it even walked strangely.
”Eh? Who are you?”
”Just a wandering animal noticing that you seem to be in peril.”
Ako finally spoke up, “OH! I know you! You’re that weird animal that always tells me advice and then you randomly disappear! Why do you do that?”
”WHAT!? AKO IS BEING STALKED!?!?”
”Uh, Yuuna, calm down.”
”NO! IF AKO HAS BEEN IN DANGER ALL THIS TIME AND WE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW, WE MUST SETTLE THIS! Forgive me Ako! I WILL DEFEND YOU! Okay weird animal, put em up! I’m pumped up all ready to kick some a—“
”Can’t say that word.”
”WHAT!? I hate this story.”
The strange animal stared at Yuuna, “You’re quite hot-blooded, typical of an otter.”
”Yeah!? Well I bet you aren’t hot-blooded at all! …whatever that means.”
“On the contrary you’re actually right. I’m a cold-blooded creature. I noticed you entering the dragon territory as you passed by the swamp.”
“AND WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!? You stalker!”
Evangeline jumped down from a tree, watching the fox turn its head back at the Dark Evangel. It growled in a low tone most suitable for a bear. Speaking of bears, Mana came running towards the fox with a sling in her paws. Pebble after pebble splattered into the fox, giving it a painful stinging feeling. The kitsune turned around, swishing its gigantic tails that sent off a funnel affect, heading straight towards the non-combatant animals discussing about stalkers or something.
”UWAAA!!!”
The lighter animals were lifted off the ground and thrown violently in the air some thirty metres. The heavier ones were only blown away around fifteen metres, but nevertheless it was still a damaging hit that angered the otter especially. She had helplessly watched the chick spin around five times in what would be considered very impressive acrobatic back-flips while she was too busy flinging around in the air for the short amount of time they were airborne.
”HEY! We were TALKING! You will pay for being SO RUDE TO US, CHISAME!!!” Yuuna yelled, running directly towards the destructive vixen.
The mysterious animal which seemed to take over the spotlight of the pig’s mysteriousness pointed at Yuuna with its webbed fingers, “You also shouldn’t be running straight into a fight. It’s stupid.”
”HEY! YOU’RE TAKING OVER MY MYSTERIOUSNESS THE NARRATOR SAID!” Misora suddenly yelled, “TELL US EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU NOW!”
”You’re not mysterious.”
”Yes I am.”
”No you’re not.”
”Yes I am.”
”No you’re…why am I in such a silly argument?”
”For stopping the cycle I clearly win! I, MISOR—er, the MYSTERIOUS PIG who is MORE MYSTERIOUS THAN YOU has clearly WON!”
BOOM!
The otter was smashed back towards the non-combatants who were too busy chatting than notice the giant vixen. Did it have to kill someone to get noticed? Sheesh.
Misora pointed at Chisame with a large grin on her face, “Let me show you the awesomeness of my mysteriousness! NOSE BOOMERANG ATTACK!”
And with that, Misora the mysterious pig detached her nose, and proceeded to throw the face-digit at the fox, smacking the canine’s face silly with it. True to the attack name, the nose returned back to the oh-so-mysterious pig, and thus reattached to the centre of her face. Everybody stared at the pig, wondering how on earth she did that, but probably wondering even more why something so weird like that can be done by some random unimportant pig.
”What? Why is everyone looking at me?”
”Why do you have a detachable nose…?”
”Ah, that has to do with my extremely mysterious past, which I shall not tell because then it would not be mysterious.”
”Right…” Setsuna mumbled, staying so close to Konoka as if they were Siamese twins.
A tiger was limping relatively fast back towards the other animals, puffing as if something extremely bad had happened. As she reached her fellow companions, she tripped on a random misplaced twig and fell flat on her face. This caused a few animals to laugh, particularly one Kazumi Asakura who oddly had a last name for an animal.
”How would YOU feel if YOU tripped on a twig, HUH-ARUYO!?”
”I would feel stupid,” Kazumi said, “but you obviously feel normal because stupid is normal for you.”
”…”
”Uh, Kazumi-san…maybe you’re being a little harsh.”
”Look, we haven’t been back to the farm in what? Days? And I’m DEAD hungry. My mood isn’t the greatest right now. Yuuna almost died, and I had to run like fifteen kilometres to find Ako, AND now our main supporter in keeping us alive and well is ironically trying to kill us.”
Nodoka looked at the sun, “Um, actually. It’s been only six hours.”
”GAH!”
-
”Is it ready yet?” A panda stood on top of a large stone that could see for several kilometres across Kappa Forest. She looked to be preparing something and had a companion close by.
“Almost ready, Chao-san. You sure you want to go through with this?”
The panda nodded, a soft smile appearing onto her face, “Satsuki will handle everything afterwards for me. I’ll be fine.”
”But will you ever come back? We’ll definitely miss you…”
The chinese bear sighed as she looked at her magnificent view. It was being obstructed by a large steaming cloud of dust coming from one concentrated area though. Chao knew exactly what was going on as she watched on as she crossed her arms.
”I can’t answer that question, Hakase.”
”What about Kaede? She still has that…”
”Mana will take care of it.”
Snapping a piece of bamboo off the ground, the panda chomped on it much like a rabbit would to a carrot, and watched on into the distance. She jumped off the stone, prepared to walk off to finish some unknown business. Hakase looked up from something with a worried look on her face.
”You sure you will make it this time? It’s untested, after all.”
”If it isn’t smoother now then I won’t ever make it back. It has to be, or I can’t save that fox, ne,” the panda replied, “I have one more request though, if you don’t mind, ne.”
”Anything, Chao!” The amphibian stood up looking on at its superior.
“What animal are you?”
There the post-modern slimy creature face-faulted, perhaps the only time it ever did.
-
The fisherman looked up from its hook, hearing the explosions from the distance. He watched his son in the shallow water trying to scoop up the fish with his net, but failing. Nagi Springfield stood up and picked up his bullet, signalling his son to follow him.
”You should come see this, son!”
Negi looked up, “See what, father?”
”You’ll see. Just follow, now!”
They ran off from Kappa Lake, straight towards a farm.
-
Haruna: LAST TIME, ON THE OMAKE! Erm, the LOST OMAKE! The Lost Omake of Doom? I’m not good with names, think up of something dramatic, Misora!
Misora: …
Haruna: You’re no fun. >:(
Misora: But you technically can’t call it an omake if it’s NOT THERE!
Haruna: And yet, we’re doing the omake anyway. Here, I’ll fetch of one my six dictionaries and READ OUT THE DEFINITION FOR YOU:
”(slang) In anime features, additional footage/material, presented at the end of the feature, which often has additional background, comedy skits or interviews.”
Misora: This isn’t an anime…! But whatever, we should get on with it.
Haruna: INDEED! So, last time on the omake, the omake was lost.
Yue: We are aware how absolutely confusing this is.
Nodoka: But please enjoy the omake about the lost omake anyway.
Haruna: You two are GUEST stars! I EXPLAIN EVERYTHING!
-
Haruna: HEY WAIT! DON’T GO TO THE NEXT SCENE! I’M NOT DONE—
HEY!
STOP—
-
Mana: It’s nearing six o’clock. I should make dinner.
Ku Fei: OOOOH! What’s for dinner-aruyo!?!?
Mana: Why are you STILL in my house?
Ku Fei: Why not? If you’re making dinner I’ll make myself at home-aru!
Mana: I’m not making dinner for me AND you.
Ku Fei: Oh really-aru? You’re ONLY making dinner for me!? How unusually nice of you, Mana-aru!
Mana: No, I’m not making dinner for you, just me. Get out.
Ku Fei: Oh, so I guess I’ll just have to fetch something from the fridge for myself-aru?
Mana: No, don’t touch the fridge.
Ku Fei: Oh I SEE how it is! I HAVE TO EARN MY FOOD-ARUKA!?!?
Mana: No, you just can’t have any food.
Ku Fei: You want me to STARVE-arune!? Are you INSANE!?
Mana: No, I just don’t want you touching my food.
Ku Fei: So little ol’ Kuu here has to fend for herself-aru! Well I see how you play! I can get more food than you and then we’ll see who’s the man of this house in the end-aruyo!
Mana: This is a shrine.
Ku Fei: Yes, a shrine, and every shrine there is a person who runs it. AND IT WILL BE ME-ARUYO!
Mana: Get out before I grab my rifle.
Ku Fei: You can’t kick me out-aru! CHILD LABOUR LAWS!
Mana: This has nothing to do with child labour—
Ku Fei: A CHILD CANNOT GO OUT THERE AND WORK FOR HER FOOD AND LIVING! You have to TAKE CARE OF ME-ARUYO!
Mana: I’m not your mother.
Ku Fei: There MUST be a reason why your name rhymes with mama, right mama?
Mana: I’m getting my gun.
Ku Fei: OOH! We’re bonding by learning how to use weapons-aruyo! HOW VERY ASSURING!
-
Haruna: DIDN’T I TELL YOU NOT TO GO TO THE NEXT SCENE DAMNIT!? I HATE YOU! I HATE—
-
Sayo: WHAT DO WE DO!? WHAT DO WE DO!?!?!
Kazumi: Now, now Sayo-chan…no need to hyperventilate…wait, can ghosts hyperventilate?
Sayo: I CAN’T BREATHE ASAKURA-SAN! OH NO!
Kazumi: Uh, you don’t breathe—
Sayo: GASP! I HAVE NO PULSE ASAKURA-SAN! SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG!
Kazumi: Because you don’t have a heart—
Sayo: I DON’T HAVE A HEART!?!?!? Are you saying I have no conscience, no soul even? Am I nothing!? Am I worth less than some useless everyday object? Does that mean people have the right to exorcise I, a ghost, because I have no soul and am a pest in everyday society!?!?!
Kazumi: Um, I don’t think that’s what I meant—
Sayo: You must be one of them.
Kazumi: Eh…what?
Sayo: You’re one of those people who wish to rid me of this world because I am but a soulless random being who is a menace to your society! Is that it!? IS THAT IT!?!
Kazumi: Calm down Sayo-chan…
Sayo: *points dramatically at Kazumi* WELL I DO HAVE A SOUL FOR YOUR INFORMATION!
Kazumi: Sayo…
Sayo: That’s right! And since I have a soul, I do have all the human rights just like you! I protest your discrimination to my kind, Asakura Kazumi! And if you wish to deny my march for freedom and fairness, then I will just have to smack you with a tree!
Kazumi: Eh— *smacked with a tree*
THUD!
Sayo: Yes! That is one immoral useless human being down! AND SIX BILLION TO GO! We ghosts will get our revenge on this disgusting society they call humans! And we will TRIUMPH OVER ALL!!!!!
Silence…
Sayo: Wait…OH NO!! THE OMAKE IS MISSING!!! WHAT DO WE DO!?!?! ASAKURA-SAN!? Asakura-san!? OH NO! ASAKURA-SAN IS DEAD! AHHHHGHHHH! OH NO! I CAN’T BREEEEATHE!!!!
-
Yue: Haruna! REFRAIN FROM STRANGLING THE SCENE-CHANGER!
Haruna: *breathing heavily* You. Will. NOT. CHANGE. THE. Scene. Until. I. Am. FINISHED. DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND—
-
Yuuna: My, the stage feels very empty with no one here. Just very, very, very, very, very, very, very—
Ako: Stop.
Yuuna: …empty. YOU KNOW I like stressing my verbs!
Ako: There’s a such thing as over-stressing.
Yuuna: Well I just HAPPEN to believe that ONE word to describe something is not enough.
Ako: There’s a such thing as a thesaurus.
Yuuna: I’ll be damned when I touch a book.
Ako: Without reading you can’t do a lot of things.
Yuuna: Oh sure I can! I CAN PLAY BASKETBALL. I love basketball. It’s better than soccer.
Ako: That’s your opinion.
Yuuna: It is ALSO my opinion that books are the suck.
Ako: I will pray for your future then.
Yuuna: Stop being sarcastic! The Ako I know isn’t sarcastic and boring! The Ako I know has no self-confidence and has a fear of blood and…you know! STUFF!
Ako: This is exactly why you need to read, or you’ll be just like this girl here.
Yuuna: YOU ARE NOT AKO! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH AKO!?!?!
Ako: I must admit you’re good at being overdramatic.
Yuuna: If you act like a smartass one more time…
Ako: As I recall you can’t say that word.
Yuuna: I JUST SAID!!! That’s IT. I’m LEAVING.
Ako: I don’t think you can.
Yuuna: What are you talking about—*opens a door and sees stars, the moon, and EARTH…suddenly she is almost sucked outside*
SLAM! *door closes*
Yuuna: WTF!?!?!
Ako: Apparently someone relocated the stage.
Yuuna: LIKE YOU! YOU ARE NOT AKO! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH POOR LITTLE AKO!?!?!
Ako: I feel offended that you believe I’m nothing but a tiny weakling needing protection 24/7.
Yuuna: NAGI IS NEGI!!!!
Ako: WHAT!?!?!?
Yuuna: AHA!
Ako: You’re not supposed to know that.
Yuuna: NO! I’VE LOST YOU, AKO!!!! What cruel fate it is that my beloved best friend has be turned into this sarcastic disgusting monster and that now I am lost in the middle of space, forever to be tortured and never to see my friends again! OH who is the evil who has bestowed this upon I? For what reason do I deserve this horrible punishment that you bring onto me!? Whatever it is, forgive me for my sins and lessen your great tyranny! I give! I give! Just bring Ako back! And I will forever be in debt.
Ako: Wow. Maybe you DO read books!
Yuuna: AKO!?!? HAVE YOU RETURNED!?!?
Ako: I was always here…
Yuuna: SHE HAS! *huggles Ako* THANK YOU ANONYMOUS HUMANITARIAN! THANK YOU!!!!
-
Haruna: GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! FBHJVJBFJHBAJFHVSHDGWUFOIEH—
-
Chisame: WTF? I’m confused.
-
Misora: Haruna has fainted from intense anger, so we will have to continue that “SOMETHING EXCITING HAPPENS” next time.
Yue: Nothing makes sense anymore.
Nodoka: I know. I’ll look in my very bad book to see what Haruna is planning for the next omake.
Nodoka’s Very Bad Book: CENSORED!!!!
Nodoka: …
Misora: And that’s it for today’s perverted Nodoka joke—
Yue: But this is the first time she’s here. How can it be daily?
Misora: Shut up Yue. *grins* BYEBYE!
-
Woo.
RAWR.
