Aha.

[spotto]

You know it's kind of funny.

People out there of the same age as me...they're having problems, being emo, jumping around screaming, "WHY ME!?" mentally while bawling their eyes out, and I really don't know why.

Here I am sitting on the bed just after midnight with an empty bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios on this warm morning. My Squash racquet and empty Yoga journal sit atop the mattress, while the ground is clean and shaven by the washers who were here earlier. All these people around me, either living about three blocks away or somewhere sitting in Australia are having messed up problems but at least they're going out and having fun.

Not that I'm not having fun.  I watched Narnia yesterday, and Ironman a few days ago. They were both good, but I thought IronMan was slightly more awesome. Also went out to eat some badass congee, yes, that's right. BADASS congee. Yeah, all you people got some wimpy burger or ate at some expensive restaurant with juicy delicious steak, but I had some BADASS CONGEE.

But it just makes me think.

I'm not really having any particular problem. Like, whenever I complain on this journal, it's either minor, and if it's not I never really bring it up ever again later. I'm wondering why. I mean, I could complain that my friend gets to go to HotPot every f'in week, have sleepovers with boys, and love every anime in existence without being regarded as a geek and instead is one of the most popular persons in the school. Yes, I COULD.

I could complain that her dad has a good job and she lives in a very big house, and that she has a lot of computers and lots of money to buy things and can get a job easily at her mom's company. I COULD.

I could complain that her best friend skips school constantly and apparently has mental breakdowns and I'm like, "WHY?" as if she lives a second life filled with angst and stress. It feels like I do not know this person.

I COULD complain that MY best friend never seems to want to do anything because well, I don't know, she just doesn't. We could, but we don't have money. We're poor. Our car is almost dead. We can't afford insurance, and don't get STARTED on the fucking gas.

Oh yes, I COULD COMPLAIN that my hamsters are noisy as fuck in my room with their stupid wheel, that my laptop is going to overheat and I'm going to lose this entry any second, that my mattress STILL has not been changed with my REAL mattress, that I got accepted to the college of my choice and I'm not really caring, that I'm drifting away from several of my friends INCLUDING some of those who I used to talk to a lot over the internet, that I never got a chance to go to that dance show because I wanted to be with my first crush poor lonely and sad and homework-filled friend, that my neighbours are fucking noisy, that my parents' friends are retards, that my parents like to reveal every single embarrassing trait of my life and then exaggerate it to friends so they have an interesting story to tell, that my parents are saying, "Are you GAY!?" to my brother because of his questionable shirt, when they KNOW he is gay, and when his shirt doesn't really look feminine at all. That my brother has friends that plays basketball with him and I don't have any friends that want to do ANYTHING. That I can't spend any money because I'm saving up money to buy a birthday present, that PROM is coming up and I'm like, WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST WASTE NINETY-FIVE DOLLARS ON FUCKING PROM TICKETS!? That I'm sad that no one is inviting me to go in a limo to go there with friends, and I'd probably end up taking a fucking bus there. That...

Yes, I COULD.

But guess what? I'm not.

Nope. Instead, I'm going to complain about Negima.

And people are like, "Oh my fucking god Spot, you are such a geek."

And you know what? Someone actually said that, and I was like, "Thank you." And then I continued my merry way.

That was me viciously typing on ALL THE RIGHT TYPE, challenging my other geek friends and one is the most popular girl in the entire school, to an awesome typing speed competition while watching IIHF hockey full screen on a monitor in Yearbook class where there is NOTHING TO DO. And guess what? CANADA LOST TO RUSSIA!! GAH!

So here I am on my bed, daydreaming, and the first thing I'm thinking about after daydreaming is, "You know, I REALLY need to find something else other than my really annoying fandom to talk about to my friends on the internet, but there is NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT!!! OMFG!"

Yeah. So.

I actually have nothing to talk about Negima. The newest chapter is not out yet and even if it is it looks boring.

So there you go.
I'm going to daydream now.