![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spottoChina!High.
I'm motherfucking China, I've survived every fucking thing you can fucking imagine. My national animal is a dragon and it's too fucking awesome to exist. Remember that fucker Rome and his huge!shitload fucking empire? Well he's dead, I'm still fucking here, and I'm still older than him with a youthful complexion that'd turn you into a pedo and he, he looked like the goddamn pedophile, not to mention that bastard Legolas--I mean Germania. I influenced every fucking country surrounding me and they all tried to take me over, like those goddamn Mongolians and even thatbeautiful motherfucker Japan. And they all failed, not a single one of those fuckers ever managed to conquer me, and that's how bloody awesome I am. I've taken drugs, eaten every single animal and animal part you can imagine, told those fucking capitalist pigs to shove a cork into their mother's conch, and I'm still fucking here. Every single fucking country tried to attack me because I had everything, like my wicked silk and my completely fucking wicked tea, so much better than that bastard England's. And I still have every fucking thing. That shirt you're wearing, made by me, and just for the hell of it I slip in a little bit of lead in everything I give out because everybody else is a fucking ungrateful bastard. I laugh at all your panicking faces of lead poisoning-fucking doom. I have the biggest fucking army anywhere, and if you try to even touch my goddamn Wall I'll throw you across the Indian Ocean and into the depths of the goddamn moon right into that fucking american flag that isn't even there because that's all just propaganda shit you capitalist dogs feed to your ignorant stupid-ass people. I invented everything before everybody else, not that adorable cockface Korea because I was here before you and I will always be here with my amazing-to-fucking-god flag and my billion-plus people, ready to tear your face off just because WE FUCKING CAN. I'm fucking China, a four thousand-year-old immortal demigod, and much fucking better than you white devils, aru!
China's kinda girly and...sad in Hetalia, but you know the greatest achievement he has over many other countries (besides being holy!shit old) is somehow still being sane despite all that crap. I mean look at fucking Russia. Look what the hell happened to him and he's only seven-hundred-freaking-years-old. Then again 'sane' is a term being used rather loosely here...
He's still girly though. :P
I still maintain that Korea is the manliest!asian. I was possibly considering HK, then realized that half the fandom thought he was a girl at first, including myself, and some still do... Taiwan is probably manlier than China and Japan, even with Japan's rather manly voice in the anime and Taiwan's a girl, but that's not really new. Pretty much all the girls are somehow manlier than some of the guys. Hungary for example, is manlier than every guy, and she still somehow pulls off a pretty feminine maid...perhaps because she is a girl. Then again it's not like any of the guys never wore a dress before or something, or perhaps I'm blurring the line between fandom!crack and canon!crack.
Also, if Korea is the manliest!asian...then he's the manliest by a long shot. Are any other asians supposedly REALLY muscular, as described in his profile? (Actually, does ANY other profile describe a character as REALLY muscular!? Is Korea possibly the manliest character after Hungary!?!?) Well there's Rome but he's an old man who...actually looked kind of like an old man, or at least slightly older than everyone else...and France has a bit of a beard, but France is not that manly xD. In fact Korea was that fucking awesome hermit kingdom, burning foreigner's ships and killing any stranger daring to come one foot into their waters...kind of like an extremely aggressive savage animal. Perhaps a sabre-tooth tiger? Or does that fit more for Japan since sabre-tooths like to take over a pride by killing/driving out the alpha male, and all their children, and thenraping mating with the helpless females there for their own children, but sometimes the exiled alpha male can be awesome enough to come back and kill/drive off the invading male and kill their children they just made and remake their own children.
Man, too many children die in nature.
No, I did not just compare annexation of a country to killing babies...which Japan did anyway. They basically took like every east asian country except China because like I said above China is just that awesome (or maybe because they were really big so it would take more resources and time unlike small littlewimpy places like Hong Kong or Singapore or something. Maybe I should come up with something better than England's colonies....at the time.) You know what. What the fuck was with Japan then anyway. Taking over all of asia! The nerve! How dare you try to force your extremely successful tradition and values as to help modernize the other countries! You little vile fucking piece of shit! Well, at least I hope that was what they wanted to do, unfortunately THEIR METHODS WERE MORE SAVAGE THAN SABRE-TOOTH TIGERS. Or perhaps just like sabre-tooth tigers. Did you know sabre-tooths aren't even cats? Their closest relatives are kangaroos or some shit, so Australia is actually supposed to be the badass sabre-tooth tiger. wimpy CANADA WILL BE WATCHING FOR YOU, AUSTRALIA! >:
But of course we have to watch for Australians...they have all the scary poisonous things that can kill the army the size of China.
GOOD GOD, EVEN THE CHINESE CAN'T STOP THOSE AUSTRALIANS.
And now we know which country will rule the Earth in five hundred years after World War III and the War of Oil, Gas, Caffeine, and Other Unnecessary Things to Make Life Lazier.
God I feel like a hippie.
I apologize. I have not gone to bed yet and I'm just really fucking tired and bored and stuff...and like, felt really patriotic or something. (Even though I'd rather live in Canada than China. MUUUCH more. Don't get me started on North Korea.)
I'm motherfucking China, I've survived every fucking thing you can fucking imagine. My national animal is a dragon and it's too fucking awesome to exist. Remember that fucker Rome and his huge!shitload fucking empire? Well he's dead, I'm still fucking here, and I'm still older than him with a youthful complexion that'd turn you into a pedo and he, he looked like the goddamn pedophile, not to mention that bastard Legolas--I mean Germania. I influenced every fucking country surrounding me and they all tried to take me over, like those goddamn Mongolians and even that
China's kinda girly and...sad in Hetalia, but you know the greatest achievement he has over many other countries (besides being holy!shit old) is somehow still being sane despite all that crap. I mean look at fucking Russia. Look what the hell happened to him and he's only seven-hundred-freaking-years-old. Then again 'sane' is a term being used rather loosely here...
He's still girly though. :P
I still maintain that Korea is the manliest!asian. I was possibly considering HK, then realized that half the fandom thought he was a girl at first, including myself, and some still do... Taiwan is probably manlier than China and Japan, even with Japan's rather manly voice in the anime and Taiwan's a girl, but that's not really new. Pretty much all the girls are somehow manlier than some of the guys. Hungary for example, is manlier than every guy, and she still somehow pulls off a pretty feminine maid...perhaps because she is a girl. Then again it's not like any of the guys never wore a dress before or something, or perhaps I'm blurring the line between fandom!crack and canon!crack.
Also, if Korea is the manliest!asian...then he's the manliest by a long shot. Are any other asians supposedly REALLY muscular, as described in his profile? (Actually, does ANY other profile describe a character as REALLY muscular!? Is Korea possibly the manliest character after Hungary!?!?) Well there's Rome but he's an old man who...actually looked kind of like an old man, or at least slightly older than everyone else...and France has a bit of a beard, but France is not that manly xD. In fact Korea was that fucking awesome hermit kingdom, burning foreigner's ships and killing any stranger daring to come one foot into their waters...kind of like an extremely aggressive savage animal. Perhaps a sabre-tooth tiger? Or does that fit more for Japan since sabre-tooths like to take over a pride by killing/driving out the alpha male, and all their children, and then
Man, too many children die in nature.
No, I did not just compare annexation of a country to killing babies...which Japan did anyway. They basically took like every east asian country except China because like I said above China is just that awesome (or maybe because they were really big so it would take more resources and time unlike small little
But of course we have to watch for Australians...they have all the scary poisonous things that can kill the army the size of China.
GOOD GOD, EVEN THE CHINESE CAN'T STOP THOSE AUSTRALIANS.
And now we know which country will rule the Earth in five hundred years after World War III and the War of Oil, Gas, Caffeine, and Other Unnecessary Things to Make Life Lazier.
God I feel like a hippie.
I apologize. I have not gone to bed yet and I'm just really fucking tired and bored and stuff...and like, felt really patriotic or something. (Even though I'd rather live in Canada than China. MUUUCH more. Don't get me started on North Korea.)
