The Mainstream, I is not in.
Jan. 19th, 2010 06:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spottoYou know I got to be honest.
It is SO WEIRD and feels RATHER EMBARRASSING to actually write stuff on this blog about...FANDOM. I mean, everybody else is like "baww life is stupid" and I'm talking about personified countries, old freeware games, silly spinning tops, and cliche shounen manga...and it just...it feels odd man.
WHO CARES about personified countries? Well actually a million fangirls do, but the other things I'm somewhat uncomfortable with talking about. Sometimes I wish there was an LJ option to turn my entire blog friends or even private, but I'd have to pay to do that. That is pretty much the ONLY thing stopping me from friending my entire LJ, because for free I'd have to set every entry private one-by-one, which is somewhat stupid.
Since everything is public anyway I might as well leave it public...I don't want half my blog public and half private...so. The reason I pour all these useless rants here is because I think I'm bothering people on MSN (ESPECIALLY Akira, maybe Aoi-dono, and somewhat Kirami) with fandom stuff they care NOTHING ABOUT. They don't do it to ME...as much, so why on earth am I doing it? But since THIS place is public and not even my friends give a damn about what I say it then feels odd to keep everything public! I mean I could write this ALL on Microsoft Word and yay, now it's private but it's not the same on an LJ. Maybe I'm BAWWing too much about something that can be easily avoided.
This is why having a friend in the same fandom is good, so I can be stupid in fandom with them, but when it's all completely different, PARTICULARLY of fandoms that NO ONE I KNOW OR very few people in the entire world are into, it just feels very odd to be sharing it to people who have no particular interest. Although with the popularity of Hetalia I was bound to know someone else in it too ANYWAY...
Even with Negima, I somewhat didn't mind since Aoi-dono was...somewhat into it? For Konosetsu? Maybe? For Madoka? I DUNNO. And yet I shared fics with Akira who didn't give a damn about the manga, and even sent a silly Sailor Kuu thing to Kirami...SHE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT NEGIMA. She doesn't squee about Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy or or or Super Smash Bros with me!
...but that's probably because she knows people who do like those things, and I don't. I like things nobody really is into, or has the wrong target audience. Negima? Teenage Males. B-Daman? Little kids. LF2? Tween Males.
HETALIA WAS ACTUALLY TARGETTED TOWARDS FEMALES LIKE ME, I THINK. And as luck would have it, of course I share it with someone else, but that fandom has SO MUCH GODDAMN STUFF about that if I was able to request ANY ART from ANY person EVER ( unless it's like a favourite artist or notable artist in the Hetalia fandom :X, then I'd request Hetalia, duh) I WOULD REQUEST....Kazumi...with Sayo, or maybe LF2 fanart, or even B-Daman fanart...or even BEYBLADE fanart.
Because there's billions of Hetalia stuff out there. Even my pairing I once thought rare has at least like four hundred fanarts of it on pixiv! EVEN CRACK PAIRINGS, ANY YOU CAN THINK OF IS OUT THERE, even stories! The Kink Meme! AN ENTIRE ANONYMOUS COMMUNITY OF THE ANON-MEME!
So why add more to the fire when it's already burned down millions of trees? Why not start a different fire? For different purposes? I just want more stuff of something there is so little of, and I seem to have followed that philosophy religiously lately. Why do I never like the MAIN characters? Why not like England? Now I can find ANY art of him doing ANYTHING imaginable with ANYBODY else! How about liking KonoSetsu? The entire Negima section on fanfiction.net is calling me to read those! How about liking games people HEARD of...like say, SUPER SMASH BROS.?
So I can go TEEHEE about Pit or say IKE IS HOT or actually play the game with my male friends without fangirling about them and owning them with Jigglypuff...or more likely failing with Jigglypuff. How about Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann? So I can also pierce the heavens with Simon and Kamina rather than talk about marbles being shot at mini Gundams! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why can't I like, like those celebrities on TV, get an IPHONE, WEAR CLOTHES THAT ACTUALLY LOOK NICE and not just take anything out of my closet? WATCH MOVIES, LIKE VAMPIRES (ew vampires). GO CLUBBING, DO NORMAL THINGS MOST PEOPLE SEEM TO DO.
People who watch Anime or play video games claim they are different. Some are sad no one shares their interests. I'd hate to be in a place where people think Anime is all porn or gaming RUINS THE IMAGINATION or something...
And yet, even in that minority as it is, I choose to love things others either think are stupid, gay, never heard of, or think it is simply retarded to have a "fandom" of. For now, if someone asks, I tell them I like Hetalia and Hockey because everyone does. (I even like hockey players no one cares about!) I also like hamsters because everyone likes hamsters (but they're REALLY CUTE! ...I just want a dog more D< ). If someone asks me of my interests, I would never tell them about everything else, unless they somehow got incredibly nosy with my life and in fact read this blog. That is why it is embarrassing, but...somehow I do it anyway. I just really want to talk about and show people things from fandoms...extremely small fandoms, of obscure things...but I think I annoy them with it. They aren't interested. They're being nice because well, we're friends!
So despite how retarded we were when we were all thirteen-year-olds...at least we all had a similar interest and squee'd together. That is why I miss that age. The only reason. We talked to each other then...
Oh, AND BAWWW LIFE IS STUPID because...because...okay life isn't stupid. ILLUSTRATOR IS THE BEST PROGRAM EVER. It surpasses Photoshop and I've been using Photoshop for six years. My life is boring though. Not interesting. I've just been huddling in my room like a hermit lately to try fixing my sleep cycle somewhat. I actually didn't see my parents for like 36 hours because I was huddled in my room 8D;
Anyway...I am glad to have spilled this out. :\
It is SO WEIRD and feels RATHER EMBARRASSING to actually write stuff on this blog about...FANDOM. I mean, everybody else is like "baww life is stupid" and I'm talking about personified countries, old freeware games, silly spinning tops, and cliche shounen manga...and it just...it feels odd man.
WHO CARES about personified countries? Well actually a million fangirls do, but the other things I'm somewhat uncomfortable with talking about. Sometimes I wish there was an LJ option to turn my entire blog friends or even private, but I'd have to pay to do that. That is pretty much the ONLY thing stopping me from friending my entire LJ, because for free I'd have to set every entry private one-by-one, which is somewhat stupid.
Since everything is public anyway I might as well leave it public...I don't want half my blog public and half private...so. The reason I pour all these useless rants here is because I think I'm bothering people on MSN (ESPECIALLY Akira, maybe Aoi-dono, and somewhat Kirami) with fandom stuff they care NOTHING ABOUT. They don't do it to ME...as much, so why on earth am I doing it? But since THIS place is public and not even my friends give a damn about what I say it then feels odd to keep everything public! I mean I could write this ALL on Microsoft Word and yay, now it's private but it's not the same on an LJ. Maybe I'm BAWWing too much about something that can be easily avoided.
This is why having a friend in the same fandom is good, so I can be stupid in fandom with them, but when it's all completely different, PARTICULARLY of fandoms that NO ONE I KNOW OR very few people in the entire world are into, it just feels very odd to be sharing it to people who have no particular interest. Although with the popularity of Hetalia I was bound to know someone else in it too ANYWAY...
Even with Negima, I somewhat didn't mind since Aoi-dono was...somewhat into it? For Konosetsu? Maybe? For Madoka? I DUNNO. And yet I shared fics with Akira who didn't give a damn about the manga, and even sent a silly Sailor Kuu thing to Kirami...SHE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT NEGIMA. She doesn't squee about Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy or or or Super Smash Bros with me!
...but that's probably because she knows people who do like those things, and I don't. I like things nobody really is into, or has the wrong target audience. Negima? Teenage Males. B-Daman? Little kids. LF2? Tween Males.
HETALIA WAS ACTUALLY TARGETTED TOWARDS FEMALES LIKE ME, I THINK. And as luck would have it, of course I share it with someone else, but that fandom has SO MUCH GODDAMN STUFF about that if I was able to request ANY ART from ANY person EVER ( unless it's like a favourite artist or notable artist in the Hetalia fandom :X, then I'd request Hetalia, duh) I WOULD REQUEST....Kazumi...with Sayo, or maybe LF2 fanart, or even B-Daman fanart...or even BEYBLADE fanart.
Because there's billions of Hetalia stuff out there. Even my pairing I once thought rare has at least like four hundred fanarts of it on pixiv! EVEN CRACK PAIRINGS, ANY YOU CAN THINK OF IS OUT THERE, even stories! The Kink Meme! AN ENTIRE ANONYMOUS COMMUNITY OF THE ANON-MEME!
So why add more to the fire when it's already burned down millions of trees? Why not start a different fire? For different purposes? I just want more stuff of something there is so little of, and I seem to have followed that philosophy religiously lately. Why do I never like the MAIN characters? Why not like England? Now I can find ANY art of him doing ANYTHING imaginable with ANYBODY else! How about liking KonoSetsu? The entire Negima section on fanfiction.net is calling me to read those! How about liking games people HEARD of...like say, SUPER SMASH BROS.?
So I can go TEEHEE about Pit or say IKE IS HOT or actually play the game with my male friends without fangirling about them and owning them with Jigglypuff...or more likely failing with Jigglypuff. How about Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann? So I can also pierce the heavens with Simon and Kamina rather than talk about marbles being shot at mini Gundams! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why can't I like, like those celebrities on TV, get an IPHONE, WEAR CLOTHES THAT ACTUALLY LOOK NICE and not just take anything out of my closet? WATCH MOVIES, LIKE VAMPIRES (ew vampires). GO CLUBBING, DO NORMAL THINGS MOST PEOPLE SEEM TO DO.
People who watch Anime or play video games claim they are different. Some are sad no one shares their interests. I'd hate to be in a place where people think Anime is all porn or gaming RUINS THE IMAGINATION or something...
And yet, even in that minority as it is, I choose to love things others either think are stupid, gay, never heard of, or think it is simply retarded to have a "fandom" of. For now, if someone asks, I tell them I like Hetalia and Hockey because everyone does. (I even like hockey players no one cares about!) I also like hamsters because everyone likes hamsters (but they're REALLY CUTE! ...I just want a dog more D< ). If someone asks me of my interests, I would never tell them about everything else, unless they somehow got incredibly nosy with my life and in fact read this blog. That is why it is embarrassing, but...somehow I do it anyway. I just really want to talk about and show people things from fandoms...extremely small fandoms, of obscure things...but I think I annoy them with it. They aren't interested. They're being nice because well, we're friends!
So despite how retarded we were when we were all thirteen-year-olds...at least we all had a similar interest and squee'd together. That is why I miss that age. The only reason. We talked to each other then...
Oh, AND BAWWW LIFE IS STUPID because...because...okay life isn't stupid. ILLUSTRATOR IS THE BEST PROGRAM EVER. It surpasses Photoshop and I've been using Photoshop for six years. My life is boring though. Not interesting. I've just been huddling in my room like a hermit lately to try fixing my sleep cycle somewhat. I actually didn't see my parents for like 36 hours because I was huddled in my room 8D;
Anyway...I am glad to have spilled this out. :\
