Dec. 26th, 2007

spotto: (Stage One.)
I'm noticing a lot of negativity lately, huh...

Oh wells.

I guess I might have to join them, but I have a reason, at least one I think is good reason.

For the past 17 years of my life, there was usually a christmas dinner...that we eat at home, which consisted of delicious turkey and crab. We'd invite relatives, trade presents, decorate our ugly tree, etc. It was pretty fun.

Ever since my cousin's parents divorce, it's been going downhill.
Why? They aren't MY parents, sure, but ever since then that cousin of mine never showed up for a christmas dinner.
He's always with his father on the day of the dinner.
The day of the dinner was usually on the 24th, but this year it happened on Christmas day.
So that gave me the impression that he might come, seeing as it isn't on the 24th.
But no, he's with his dad again.

Am I being selfish? I mean I hardly ever have anybody here close to my age celebrating Christmas in my house anymore. Some of you may hate your family, or just want to spend it time with friends and never your own family, but to me this holiday is about family, and for the past 5 or so years the whole celebration part of it seems to be going downhill.

For example I forgot to get my parents or my brother a present. I don't know why either, I think the reason was because my friend's presents were stuck in my mind, and I had completely forgot about the family aspect. (Then again it was their BIRTHDAYS, but still...:\)
Especially since years before I'd just give them something small, but now I've been giving a lot of thought to their presents since we're closer and stuff, which ultimately caused me to forget a present for my family. I didn't even realize until 10:30pm on Christmas night, almost over, when my mom asked, "Where's our present?"

Huh.

Remember when I wished for snow for Christmas? That I did, and I sang "White Christmas" about a billion times...it did snow.
That surprised me, it really did.
The forecasters said it was a slim chance of snow today, but it did snow.
Maybe a little shine of hope?

I'm not a Christian, and I have nothing against them, (my brother is one), but they have that religion for a feeling of faith and hope. That "someone" out there can give them some sort of feeling in their body that anything isn't hopeless. I've always regarded myself as an optimistic individual even though at times I came off as a cynical jerk...

Maybe the snow means I'll get to see my cousin for Christmas next year.

And then maybe then I'll remember.

Pwned?

Dec. 26th, 2007 04:52 am
spotto: (Chocobo Hunter)
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Pwned.

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