spotto

 

There was a saying somewhere, in sometime, at someplace that in order to become successful in life or to rise up in the ranks of business...we had to practice tolerance.

 

Because that is how life is like, we are not going to run into people who are pleasant to converse with or be in close proximity of at every facet of our lives. In fact, people who we initially are wary of may turn out to be the best people in your lives. Basing everything on previous judgments may not always be in one's best interests. It's how the world rolls on, always throwing us twists and turns to brighten up the corners of our eyes so maybe, just maybe, we won't miss something we really wouldn't want to miss.

 

Yesterday I returned from watching the hockey game to find out that one of my friends was a fan of a very hated rival team. Immediately as my own team was mentioned, flurries of insults and past unpleasant memories were brought up of the histories I experienced watching my home team go through. I had not said a thing to initiate this. It had already begun when my other friend mentioned my team, only to comment on the game itself and funny coincidences when he actually watched. The moment I read those messages, clearly flinging hate towards my way for daring to be a Canucks fan, I had only one urge but to fight back. 

 

Except that was not how I wanted to be. 

 

There is something I truly hate about hockey rivalries or of any sport really. At the same time, this aspect of being a fan is something many, many others may relish in. I can see that, defending your team from rival fans and blasting insults back in forth in some sort of heated passionate dispute could be a way of defending one's honour perhaps. However I never really wanted to be a part of that. To do so I never participated in forum discussions and often didn't even bring up the topic of hockey except to neutral parties who would nod at my nonsensical points and move on. I just wanted to see my team succeed and be happy because of that. 

 

However as time went by I could understand this need for a rivalry. The Flames have not been particularly relevant these last few years. I always thought I'd be happy they were not contesting with us at the highest of levels so that the fan-hate could die down. Alas that was not so, their team looks to be in an irreparable mess because the organization is too stubborn to start over, clinging onto the hope of making it to the playoffs each year with a mediocre, almost qualified team. As if their very jobs hung on the balance of merely making the playoffs when no person in their right mind would consider them to be cup contenders at all. In that case what is the point of making the playoffs only to be knocked out immediately? Is it not better to revamp that team to be highly competitive each and every year, fighting it out almost as if to the death with other teams so they could launch onto the podium and be the best? 

 

So now, watching games between the Canucks and Flames is just another game these days. No longer is it a game you'd be revved up about, excited to see your hated enemies fall under your triumphant...skates. Because besides getting those two points, there is no joy in seeing them lose. They have been down there for far too long and at this point you only want to see them succeed in some way so the passion and stakes during the games could one day be higher. It's funny because I have no hatred for the Oilers who if not this year already, at some point in the future will have highly contested games with us. We will not be dominant forever.

 

But again, not the point of this rant. I understand the need of a hated rivalry but I do not believe that the Canucks and Bruins are a rivalry at all. We ran into one another in the finals and many, many nasty plays occurred from both sides. I want to be able to explain why one of my beloved favourite players may have did what he did and instead of expressing blind hatred at certain players on their teams because of why they may have done what they did, try to understand as well. In the end the only explanation is raw, unadulterated emotion. We all do pretty dumb and stupid things when our logic is overcome with great emotion. The riot afterwards is a pretty good indication of that. I too, after that final game, was overcome with emotion and at first was glad of the riot. Our fans and even I at the time, felt so entitled for a Cup. I could still remember the chant during the post-games where fans would pump their fists up demanding for the Cup. Even if we were two games up on the other team, we were not guaranteed the Cup and it wasn't the fans ultimately that could've brought the Cup to the city, it was the players.

 

I still think to this day our fans could be far more considerate. My own parents dismiss the play of our players after a single bad game. The first game of the season for example they lambasted the play of both our goaltenders just because of the score at the end. It was a single game...the very first, after a long lockout. Even without those excuses goaltenders do have bad days just like any other normal person. To believe that a player no longer has it in them to be utterly perfect every single day a colossal failure is foolish. In fact when our team and many others were stripped of first-class plane privileges and filed a complaint, many fans acted as if they were rich millionaires who could not comprehend the real hardships of life. A sort of "first-world problems" kind of thing but even further!

 

Their opinions just felt so, so, entitled. Yes they are making a lot of money and we are not. It is the dream for many people to become star athletes raking in the cash. But their jobs are by no means easy no matter what kind of salary they are taking in. Our team has a rigorous travelling schedule just because of where our city is located in relation to the rest of the teams and sleep is incredibly important to your performance the next day. Suddenly their usual sleep arrangements are shrunk in half and their legs can barely stretch out. These players, keep in mind, are all in the range of six feet, so large space is necessary to be comfortable at all. So now their seats in the plane are no longer comfortable, their own rest impacted and tomorrow their game underwhelming. The media and fans, excepting the best of the best, begin criticizing them to no end, to demand that they are traded, to claim they are overpaid right after they implied that players have it so easy because of their big fat paychecks.

 

And players are not made of hardened stone who have the ability to completely ignore criticism. Some are better than others at this, but no one is perfect. The constant pestering of the media, the trade rumours, the player becoming a scapegoat all poking at the back of their minds. They attempt to do more than they are capable of and perhaps fuck up even more spectacularly. I would never be able to become a person in life who would be so focused by so many millions of the world and expected to perform day-in and day-out consistently so no one is let down. Truly these athletes and not just in sport, but in rigorous e-sports and other competitions such as chess and the like, have my complete respect for their ability to hold their own. To become as strong as they are to do the things they do because they truly love it...for me, the perfect job would be in my own home or perhaps an office where the only person expecting you to be efficient is your boss, not the eyes of millions.

 

Tolerance. To tolerate a single person who honestly should not rile you up about anything anyway, but you do, to tolerate the eyes of many who loudly judge you, to tolerate every singe annoyance in every aspect of life...and as you continue to build tolerance, the further you can proceed. Sometimes that brings me up to another aspect of life I've been looking into lately, the difference and wonders of extroversion and introversion.

 

The more I think about it...I don't think I'm an introvert. Not at all. Oh sure all those personality tests are pretty firmly confident that I'm a rather introverted person but well, the definition of introversion is a lot deeper than simply being reserved. You can speak the same of extroversion, to think of that word of simply Pinkie obnoxiously poking her head into everything for the purpose of fun would be wrong as well.

 

Sometimes I wonder...and this could be completely awful, but it's a legitimate thought I've had, if introversion even exists. Yes I have several, several introverted friends and they may even be appalled that I bring up such a point. I've seen images and comics and discussions and such of what introversion is. I can understand how it works. There are some people in the world who would rather read a book in their own time alone than to have five friends constantly pulling them towards the next big social event. Well that to me is not introversion but rather what type of entertainment we prefer. Being immersed in your mind as you dip into the imagination of story as opposed to being immersed in smelly, nosy people...oh, forgive my bias, in a drunk frat party filled with stupid people? Some actually prefer the former!

 

Well to actually be serious of this discussion...sometimes I wonder if introversion is simply a lack of built-up tolerance. You just cannot handle people because you simply do not like them sometimes, so you rather be in your room on your computer or reading a book. I've heard from various people, and forgive me for never remembering these sources, that seeing someone's face and being able to communicate via body language is healthy for the growth of a human. We have evolved always having communicated face-to-face and suddenly we are in the era of technology and of the internet and now, we do not have to go through the awkward and painful process of actual speech! We can type on a computer! Something you could've said without thinking could be retracted by the essence of a backspace before you hit send, and your words are suddenly wiser with mere clicks! Now the people on the internet seem far more smarter than those in real life because the words they say are so much more intelligent!!!

 

And now I realize...we're all pretty stupid people, but with a screen on our side, we have a buffer to keep us from throwing out those initial utterly moronic remarks we may have made face-to-face. Of course there are still plenty of people who choose not to use the buffer this way but of the opposite, so that they can make others angry in petty amusement. Had the internet not been invented what would we have been like then? We'd still be encouraged by media and people alike to be more outgoing and more social or else we wouldn't climb the ladder that is life. There was no room to escape into back then to run away from all the fears of society because we had to see to them face-to-face, every single time.

 

Sometimes I wonder.

 

I've always hated labels anyway. Am I extroverted? Introverted? Am I straight? Gay? Bi? Asexual? Am I religious? Atheist? Agnostic? Am I a brony? Pegasister? Feminist? Nerd? Hipster? Geek? Gamer? Artist? Writer? Potential terrorist? All these words always get thrown back and forth everywhere I see and I just...I'm not a person who chooses labels, one who can clearly define that YES, I AM THIS and nothing, nothing else because they have such rigid definitions and people do not have time to think of say, a hipster as anymore than thick rimmed glasses and scarves in the summer. People don't have TIME To think of these labels beyond that, they have lives to tend to but I also do not believe I am these things because you say so or I am these thinks because a dictionary says so. I don't really care if you call me one of these things because it'd be silly to be offended since, well, I do like ponies so it's only reasonable to call me a brony but I certainly won't ever introduce myself as "Spotto, the perhaps straight maybe gay possibly bisexual perhaps asexual temptingly religious probably agnostic understandably atheist likely a brony more likely a pegasister implied to be a feminist stereo-typically a nerd annoyingly a hipster ridiculously geeky somewhat a gamer sometimes an artist a soul of a writer and everyone's a potential terrorist! That'd be overwhelming and far too attention grabbing!

 

You know what? I'd rather just be plain ol' Spotto and you can make your presumptions from that. When you hang out with me or spend time with me, when we converse or chat...I am Spotto. Those labels are your shortcuts but don't expect me to use them as well because honestly I don't know. And frankly I do not care, I am not invested in each of those labels enough to really, really label myself in one anyway. I might like someone out there but to me, what gender they are or what skin colour they have or what build they are do not matter. And I'm not going to like someone else who looks similar to them because I probably like them for their personality and how they're pretty compatible with me, since I know them and we are friends. And that is not to say I do not yearn for intimate relationships because well, honestly I do. It is not a thing to be ashamed of and even if media is riddled by sex far too often I can find my way to whatever I want to watch and read all on my own.

 

But well...introversion? It probably exists and I am being silly, but I must admit my understanding of it isn't as great as people might believe. Frankly I don't get it. My favourite character is Pinkie Pie, guys. My least is probably Twilight, so this introversion thing is lost in my ears. However I will still give introverted people space because that's not a very friendly or nice thing to do to just demand attention from people. They are who they are and I am who I am. 

 

And since I just HAD to mention ponies...PONIES! Throughout this I also wondered why the flying fuck I loved Pinkie Pie so much. Because all the people I know or heard of who DO like Pinkie Pie are these crazy happy types themselves, and there I go using shortcuts myself. Or they like Pinkie because she is funny or something, but I don't really like Pinkie because she's humorous. I don't really like Pinkie because she's cute. Those aspects of her are certainly fine aspects to love about her, but not the big reason for me. And for some reason I feel others might possibly judge me for loving Pinkie Pie so much because it's kind of shallow. Because Pinkie Pie is so simple a character and a child could cling and be a favourite to. She isn't DEEP AND ARTISTIC like Rarity man! I'm after all some kind of (unfortunately) an art major, so why not identify with Rarity and what she goes through? I'm a reserved type of person who does not go outside and interact with people much, so why don't I identify with Twilight and her love of reading? Why not love Fluttershy the most because I actually DO identify with Fluttershy?

 

Then throughout all this tolerance and introversion crap...and wondering why I disliked Too Many Pinkie Pies so much when that episode is a fine episode for Pinkie's character did I realize the sole, precise one reason why I love Pinkie so bloody much. Because she makes me happy? I guess that's part of it.

 

But let us go back to my name. I am Spotto. 

 

Spotto derives from the dog character, Spot, of a picture book and Zotto, a character tic of some redhead from Final Fantasy VII that a friend liked using so often. Spotto-zotto. Dog? 

 

I love dogs so much. I've always been a dog person. For some reason introverts are cat people and extroverts are dog people. But for the longest time I considered myself an introvert, so why am I a dog person!? Or perhaps that saying is not absolute!? Did I like dogs because they were cute? Well cats are just as cute if not more! Dogs are my favourite animals...over tigers and majestic wolves and other cool animals. The dog. 

 

Man's best friend.

 

It goes all the way back to everything I've ever liked. I guess underneath Spotto I'm just...that little girl, long ago, who wishes for a true friend. A happy one who will cheer you up as you come in the door from a really bad day. I never grew out of this I guess. It's a pretty childish thing to cling onto, this wish for friendship and perhaps why I love ponies so much. It's a shame I can pinpoint this so easily for myself because at some point I thought I was some deep complicated person when it was all very, very simple. I'm not a picky person in terms of ACTUAL taste when it comes to media or anything really. For example the longest time I never wanted to watch TTGL not because I believed it was bad but the complete opposite. I have liked MANY things of QUESTIONABLE quality so if I let EVERY piece of media in my life, I'd get so immersed into it, it isn't even funny! It's a really stupid way of choosing favourites I know, but inside these questionable pieces of quality I watched or read of or whatever, the characters I'd pick out would be the same, simple little thing I've always wanted since as long as I could remember.

 

A friend. Kazumi and Sayo are not major characters and do not get character development! But damn if I am not a sucker for strong friendships. Usually the character who WOULD be the most amazing friend ever is my favourite and the character I identify with, the second favourite. That's why Murasa and Nue were no longer my favourite as sad as it was. Because Ten Desires came out and my incredible headcanon that Nue was this prideful but lonely loser disappeared when she actually had old other friends...and her so called "connection" with Murasa was so weak in canon it wasn't funny. ANYTHING that happened could have broken it easily. But this is why I ended up loving Keine and Mokou because they ARE STRONGLY canonly friends for some reason or another! I yearn to know why but it's heartwarming already that they are! Touhou is not a series in which you search for such things because everyone is a bloody jackass! Even in older series, Hetalia lasted so long because of my RP with a friend but deep in my head and thanks to other roleplays I read, Korea was my favourite and Hong Kong whom I identified with. (Kind of hard not to what with my chinese ethnicity) But his fanon characterization was so beautifully done, it was wondrous. 

 

But wait! Pinkie and Fluttershy? What the fuck? They don't interact very often and like, 90% of the fandom would agree that Pinkie would overwhelm the fuck out of Fluttershy anyway. It's happened several times in canon! How to explain!?!?

 

Well, we go back to the dog. Pinkie is, of all of these "amazing friend characters whom are my favouritest of favourites" the most dog-like. Seriously. She's still obviously a character and pony but she is just...her PURPOSE IN LIFE IS TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY! That's what a dog does! She eats so sloppily and neglect hits her HARD, like a dog! There are so many sad stories of people not paying attention to their pet dog but then when they pass on do they finally realize how much that dog, despite the lack of love they get, continue attempting to get you to approve of them and love them back! FRIEND IN DEED! Her motif is play! Pinkie Pie is the closest I will ever have to owning a dog. So why is Fluttershy there you ask!? Because why...why has Fluttershy never really shown to interact with many dogs? She is the ANIMAL pony is she not? I guess other animals need far more attention than dogs since dogs are understood by society already anyway, but if you think of Pinkie like this, and Fluttershy like that, it could work. Sometimes life isn't always concrete. Sometimes a pony, not necessarily Fluttershy, but like her, could use something like Pinkie, not necessarily Pinkie.

 

Oh how I yearn for Pinkie and Fluttershy friendshipping. It's why I'm so sad the show itself doesn't deal with duo-character episodes anymore. We could've not only had this, but other strange matchups that have lots of potential...like Pinkie and Rarity for hilarity. Or Fluttershy and Applejack with animals, or Rainbow Dash and Twilight because it's only been touched upon on the side with books and such...and maybe MORE of what we already seen! Rainbow Dash and Rarity? Rarity and Applejack? Rarity and ANYONE!? Where my Rarity episode at D:!? Countless countless matchups with infinite potential! My favourite fics are friendshipping and it's just...I miss season one man. Season 3 is great, but these types of episodes just don't happen anymore. It's always ONE character and CONFLICT or whatever. Friendships are ALWAYS evolving, just because two ponies have been friends forever does not mean there isn't some story you can string around it.

 

Of course this rant ended in ponies. Thank you for reading and this has been Spotto!